The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air: Season 2, Episode 19

Directed by Ellen Gittelsohn

Bob Eubanks as Himself • Macon McCalman as Dr. Baylor • DJ Jazzy Jeff as Jazz • Tim Jones as Stage Manager • Perry Moore as Tyriq

Needing a game show partner, Will must choose between bickering friends.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Hey, Uncle Phil, I think aunt viv

2. put the ring-dings in the cabinet over here.

3. The sink is busted, and I'm trying to fix it, will.

4. Wait, wait. Uncle Phil, no.

5. Geoffrey's eyebrows just grew back

6. from the time you tried to fix the stove, man.

7. Philip, drop the wrench

8. and step away from the sink.

9. Why does everybody act like I'm dangerous

10. when I'm trying to fix something?

11. Have you forgotten the toaster incident, sweetie?

12. Geoffrey hasn't.

13. Oh.

14. How was I supposed to know

15. a piece of whole wheat would scratch a man's cornea?

16. Besides, I know plumbing.

17. You certainly got the pants for it.

18. I'm calling the plumber.

19. I'm calling the tailor.

20. Hello? Hello?

21. Philip, did you do something to the phone?

22. Oh, there was a little static on the line,

23. so I did a little rewiring.

24. Honey, there's no dial tone.

25. There's no static, either.

26. Oh, here's the keys to your car, aunt viv.

27. Thanks for letting me use it.

28. Oh, you're welcome, baby.

29. When are you going to get your car fixed?

30. Oh, I don't have to.

31. I'm going to win a brand new corvette

32. on this game show.

33. Oh, yeah, right, mm-hmm.

34. Right after your Uncle Philip repairs something

35. that doesn't send Geoffrey to the emergency room.

36. Nah, seriously, aunt viv, they were recruiting down at the mall.

37. I'm going to be on the game show double trouble.

38. You're going to be on TV?

39. Oh, will, that is so exciting!

40. All right.

41. Uh-oh.

42. All right, aunt viv, I'll push,

43. and if you spackle real fast,

44. we can probably wall him in.

45. well, I just called the repairman from the car phone.

46. They can't come out until tomorrow.

47. No phone service for 24 hours?

48. This is a nightmare.

49. I mean, it's like we've vanished off the face of the earth.

50. Don't be so dramatic, hilary.

51. Hey, she's not being dramatic.

52. Jimmy Walker's phone went out for 24 hours

53. in the late seventies.

54. And, hey, well, y'all know the rest.

55. The phones are still out.

56. Excuse my language, dad,

57. but it's got to be said...

58. I'm behind you, big guy.

59. Mom, Kathy's line is busy.

60. Can I have the keys, so I can drive the phone over to her house?

61. Sure, honey— in 4 years.

62. I'm sure the phone will still be broken.

63. Oh, yeah, huh, that reminds me.

64. When I win that brand-new corvette,

65. I'm going to have a phone on the dash,

66. leather on the seats, and Halle Berry on my lap.

67. I can't believe you're going to be on double trouble.

68. Double trouble? Are you nuts?

69. You want to embarrass yourself

70. in front of the entire country

71. for a lifetime supply of Alberto vo5?

72. What are you talking about, man? It ain't embarrassing.

73. All I got to do is answer a couple questions

74. and let my partner squirt some stuff all over me.

75. Wasn't Jimmy swaggart just arrested for that?

76. So, who's going to be your partner?

77. Kellogg leiberbaum— he's the smartest dude in school.

78. He's going to call me on the car phone at 8:00—

79. that is, if Uncle Phil don't try to fix it.

80. Oh, that's it.

81. The next person who mentions the phone

82. gets a boot in their behind.

83. Mr. Banks, your phone is broken.

84. Aah!

85. It occurs to me

86. this family's got a lot to learn about hospitality.

87. Hey, what's up, j?

88. Whoosh! Whoosh!

89. I'm here to practice for the game show.

90. Whoa, wait a minute.

91. How you know I'm going on a game show?

92. From Willie at Roscoe's chicken & waffles.

93. He knows everything.

94. He's the source that revealed that Mariah Carey's black.

95. Jazz, hold up a second, man.

96. Yo, will. What's up, tom?

97. Now, y'all not still mad at each other about the watch thing?

98. Yo, he sold me a fake rolex.

99. You paid with a fake 20.

100. All right, now, first of all,

101. you should have known that it was fake

102. when you saw that the warranty was only for 2 hours.

103. And you should have known

104. that the Jackson on a 20 ain't jermaine.

105. They all look alike to me.

106. Be that as it may,

107. when do we start practicing for the game show?

108. I'm his partner.

109. I'm his partner.

110. Wait, wait. Hold—

111. how does everybody know I'm going on a game show?

112. Man, from Willie at Roscoe's chicken & waffles.

113. I'm telling you, he knows everything.

114. He's the source who revealed color me badd was white.

115. Look, so, is it going to be me or him?

116. I already got a partner.

117. Who? Who?

118. Kellogg lieberbaum, he's a dude from my school.

119. Yo, my brother, if you did have to pick one of us...

120. Speaking hypodermically...

121. I don't have to, so I'm not going to choose, all right?

122. Ok, ok, you know, because I'm your best friend,

123. I respect your decision.

124. Because I am your best friend.

125. Peace, my best friend.

126. Some best friend.

127. When you go to your car, you got to walk.

128. What? Don't you?

129. Please. Watch this.

130. Yo, Mr. Banks, my tubby judicial brother.

131. Aah!

132. Man, it ain't no water pressure!

133. Somebody in this house broke the 3-minute shower limit.

134. Obviously it wasn't you.

135. Would you mind standing downwind?

136. My fault, g.

137. I guess I got a kind of a pepe le peu thing going here.

138. Good morning.

139. Aunt viv, can you please tell Uncle Phil

140. to call a plumber?

141. There got to be something you can do—

142. or not do.

143. Geoffrey, can I get some coffee, please?

144. I'm working on it, madam.

145. Well, when will it be ready?

146. At this rate,

147. oh, about the time queen Elizabeth

148. opens for queen latifah.

149. Mother, why can't daddy be like other lawyers

150. and hire people and then sue them for inferior work?

151. I mean, look at my hair.

152. It hasn't been washed in 24 hours.

153. I can't possibly go to work looking like this.

154. Man, you sure can't.

155. You should probably call in ugly.

156. Will, I hate to rain on your fashion parade,

157. but the moms mabley look is definitely passe.

158. I was trying to take a shower,

159. but it ain't no water pressure,

160. because somebody broke the 3-minute shower limit.

161. What?

162. Don't give me that!

163. Look at these fingernails.

164. Look behind these ears.

165. How long did you bathe today, young lady?

166. 7 minutes.

167. I'm sorry, but I had to wash.

168. I have enough problems.

169. I'm going through puberty, for God's sake.

170. Good morning, everyone.

171. Hey, aunt viv, I'm telling you,

172. if we band together, we can take him.

173. Leave him alone, honey. He's mine.

174. Philip, baby...

175. If Mr. Goodwrench wants to visit Mrs. Toolbox...

176. He better get Mr. Water running.

177. Carlton, get the yellow pages.

178. And now it's time

179. for America's messiest, winningest program...

180. Double trouble!

181. My brother.

182. Yo. What's up, j?

183. Oh, I see you're watching double trouble,

184. a show both salubrious and sudorific.

185. For you, in recognition

186. of our salubrious and sudorific friendship.

187. You got a little salub on the side of your lip.

188. What's this?

189. That's me.

190. Yo, will.

191. Hey, what's up, Ty?

192. Nice weather we're having.

193. Guess that's because we're the third planet from the sun,

194. unlike Mercury, where the surface is perpetually molten.

195. For you.

196. Uh, I appreciate the gifts, fellas,

197. but, you know,

198. I think I still want to see other people.

199. Oh, look.

200. A little nasty piece of carpet with a vest.

201. Will, this is winky. Winky, will.

202. Where did you get a stupid name like winky?

203. Man, winky was my father's name.

204. Will, could you tell this sucker

205. to take his sack of lint and beat it?

206. Me and you got to practice for the game show.

207. Look, will needs a partner who knows his trivia,

208. and no one's more trivial than me.

209. Oh, yeah? What will needs

210. is intellectual capacitance.

211. All right, look. I already told you. Lieberbaum is my partner.

212. Master William?

213. Yo. What's up, g?

214. Young lieberbaum stopped by

215. on his way to the airport.

216. What? Where's he going?

217. He wouldn't say.

218. It appears he's been getting notes

219. warning him to get out of town.

220. Come on, how y'all going to play lieberbaum?

221. Man, this is just a stupid game show.

222. There's more at stake here

223. than a stupid game show, my brother.

224. That's right. Our friendship's on the line.

225. Come on, pick your best friend.

226. Yeah, go ahead, will, tell him. Who's going to be your partner?

227. All right, I pick, um...

228. I pick Carlton.

229. Carlton is your partner?

230. Yeah, what he got I ain't got?

231. Well, on the straight up tip, y'all, see,

232. Carlton got this rare disease, right?

233. And to go on this game show

234. was his last desperate wish

235. before he takes that old dirt nap.

236. That's decent, will.

237. What he got?

238. Um, he got...

239. He got Bette Davis eyes.

240. Will, can I borrow your walkman?

241. I'm going out for a 5-mile run.

242. Yo. This don't sound right.

243. And you call yourself a friend.

244. All right, all right, so I lied.

245. But, come on, y'all, I want to win that car.

246. I mean, and to win on these game shows,

247. you got to be, you know, Carlton-like.

248. I don't get it.

249. His point exactly.

250. You see... You see,

251. what will is trying to say is,

252. and let me choose my words carefully...

253. You guys are stupid.

254. Look, that is not what I'm trying to say.

255. Look, it's like this, y'all.

256. It's, like, with Carlton...

257. Carlton, who is captain kangaroo's friend?

258. Mr. Greenjeans.

259. How many players on a cricket team?

260. 11.

261. Letters not on a phone dial?

262. Q and z.

263. Best picture, 1936?

264. The great ziegfeld.

265. Third wife of Julius Caesar?

266. Calpurnia.

267. You see?

268. Yeah, yeah, I see. You think we're stupid.

269. Well, I guess I better be going,

270. but I guess I'm too stupid to find the door.

271. That's right. I guess if we put our brains together,

272. we can find our way out.

273. Oh, and by the way, can you remind me when to breathe?

274. What just happened here, man?

275. I sacrificed my 2 best friends

276. for a stupid convertible.

277. Ah, well. Ahem.

278. The wind in my face will dry my tears.

279. Good luck.

280. Wait, wait. Hold up. You ain't going to help me out?

281. Certainly not.

282. You have little to lose from public humiliation.

283. I, on the other hand, have a future.

284. In 8 years, I graduate from Harvard law

285. and begin clerkship with Clarence Thomas.

286. Only someone with the highest dignity will be considered.

287. Yeah, or a real tight butt.

288. Either way, I'm in pretty good shape.

289. What—so, Carl, what— you want me to beg? Is that it?

290. I'm not sure. Try and we'll see.

291. Ok, I beg you to remember last Saturday night,

292. when you got home around 10:00,

293. and your drawers didn't get here till the next morning.

294. Let the games begin.

295. In 5, 4, 3, 2...

296. Ladies and gentlemen, Bob eubanks.

297. Hey, thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much.

298. Hello, everybody. Thank you.

299. And welcome back to another edition of...

300. Double trouble!

301. All right, let's jump right into it and meet our first team.

302. This guy likes music, basketball, and girls—

303. and not necessarily in that order.

304. He's a native of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

305. Welcome will Smith.

306. Now, will's partner is bel-air, California, born and bred.

307. He's a fan of tom Jones, mutual funds,

308. and capital punishment.

309. Say hello to Carlton banks.

310. Will and Carlton, nice to have you with us.

311. Ok, let's meet their opponents now.

312. This fellow says he's into frozen pizza,

313. Laverne & Shirley reruns.

314. I want you to meet L.A.'s oldest 10th-grader.

315. His name is tyriq Johnson.

316. Tyriq's partner is a brain surgeon

317. who still finds time to date the salubrious Whitney Houston.

318. Let's have a warm double trouble welcome

319. for Dr. Jazzy Jeff, m.D., ph.D., and o.P.P.

320. Whoosh! Whoosh!

321. What the hell are they doing here?

322. And how long has he been dating Whitney Houston?

323. Ok, here's how we play double trouble.

324. Contestants win points for answering trivia questions.

325. Now, at the end of the question round,

326. the contestants compete in a physical stunt.

327. Hey, and, audience, what kind of stunts

328. do we have here on double trouble?

329. Stupid! Stupid!

330. That's right, so sit tight.

331. We'll be right back in just a moment with our first round.

332. And we're clear.

333. Hey, fellas, it worked out perfect, right?

334. We all got to be on the show.

335. Have we met?

336. Or am I too stupid to remember?

337. Jazz, I think

338. that's that backstabbing Smith boy.

339. Oops. Time to breathe again.

340. Oh, it's like that? Well, look...

341. At least one of us will win the car.

342. And when I do, you guys can grab a bus

343. and meet me at the beach.

344. Come on. Places—3, 2...

345. Ok, it's time for the trivia round.

346. And here's our first question.

347. Everybody ready? Here we go.

348. "What famous cartoon character

349. soared to fame on his oversized ears?"

350. Carlton.

351. That's an easy one, Bob.

352. The beloved pachyderm in question

353. won our young hearts

354. by turning a handicap into—

355. I'm sorry. Time is up.

356. Let's go to your opponents.

357. Answer it, dumbo.

358. Dumbo's the correct answer. You got it for 100 points.

359. Ok, here we go again. Hands on your buzzers.

360. Next question. Tell me...

361. "What is the capital of Ohio?"

362. Tyriq.

363. Ahem. That would be the capital "o," Bob.

364. "O"?

365. Yeah. That's right, Bob.

366. Ohio. You know,

367. capital "o," little "h"...

368. Do I have to spell the whole thing?

369. I guess I didn't say "capital city."

370. I'll have to get a ruling from our judges.

371. Judges, what do you say?

372. Sounds like the judges are accepting that answer.

373. Sounds like the judges drank their lunch.

374. Ok, tyriq and jazz, you're well out in front.

375. You got 200 points.

376. It's time now for our final question of the round.

377. And here it is.

378. The rain in Spain stays mainly where?

379. Carlton.

380. Actually, Bob, the rainfall

381. in the pyrenees mountains of Spain

382. falls at a whopping—

383. in the plains, Bob!

384. In the plains. Yes, that's right.

385. You got it for 100 points.

386. Ok, that concludes our question round.

387. I want you to sit tight

388. and find out what kind of a fine mess

389. these folks have gotten themselves into

390. when we come back for our stunt round on double trouble.

391. We'll be right back for that.

392. And welcome back.

393. Well, we've cooked up a real doozy this time, folks,

394. so let's get our contestants out here right now.

395. Come on, guys.

396. Ok, contestants, now, you know what you have to do.

397. You have a minute and a half to do it,

398. so I want you to get on your bicycles and act stupid.

399. Now it's time

400. for the final round of double trouble.

401. And let's find out just how well

402. our contestants know their partners.

403. And here's how it works.

404. While will and jazz are in the soundproof booth,

405. we're going to ask their partners a question about them.

406. So, will and jazz, if you would, please,

407. take your places in our soundproofed booth.

408. Wait. Y'all ain't going to fill that

409. with water or nothing, Bob?

410. Not this week.

411. Go ahead.

412. All right, now, Carlton and tyriq, here's your question.

413. "If your partner could name only one person

414. "as his best friend,

415. who would that special person be?"

416. Now, you have until the buzzer sounds

417. to think about it.

418. Time is up. All right, Carlton, let's hear your answer.

419. Well, Bob, let's back it up for a moment

420. and define this thing called friendship.

421. You see, the ancient Mayans—

422. Carlton, your time is up.

423. Ok, tyriq,

424. who is jazz's best friend?

425. I'm sorry, Bob. This is a bad time.

426. Captioning made possible by Warner bros.

427. All I got to do is answer a couple questions

428. and let my partner squirt some stuff at me.

429. Oh, so sorry.

430. I can see you're reading something really good.

431. Wasn't Jimmy swaggart arr—

432. I...

433. Bah!

434. Wasn't Jimmy swaggart arrested for that?

435. Great line reading.

436. Uh-oh. I tried.

437. What? Yeah, I'm fine. Just let me—

438. mmm. Ok, I'm fine.