The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air 2x12

Directed by Ellen Gittelsohn

Don Amendolia as Mr. Cummings • John Petlock as Henry Furth • Brandon Quintin Adams as Ramon • Mimi Cozzens as Mrs. Pullman • Richard Penn as Brett

After winning at the country club's Monte Carlo night fund-raiser, Will learns that he's expected to donate the money to charity.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. - Goodnight, Will. - 'You're grounded.'

2. Man, yo, I ain't played ball that hard

3. since I left Philly, man.

4. Oh, well, that dude was no joke, man.

5. I ain't never playing with him again.

6. Well, he was pushin' me around

7. and shovin' me and kickin' me and all that stuff, man.

8. Yo, dude was a monster.

9. Hm.

10. Hey, I thought you wanted a rematch.

11. Forget it, man. Go pick on somebody your own size.

12. - Hi, Ashley. - Hi, Ramon.

13. Say, I've got a half peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich

14. in my pocket with your name on it!

15. No. No, thanks.

16. You want to see my frog?

17. I think I'll pass.

18. Man, those lines kill on the jungle gym.

19. It's killin' me how much you remind me of myself.

20. Why? 'Cause we're both down with B-ball?

21. Well, no, 'cause don't nobody want to see my frog neither.

22. See, man, one day

23. Ashley's going to be breaking down my door

24. 'cause I'm savin' money for basketball camp.

25. Next thing you know, I'll be playin' pro.

26. You know, my motto, keep your eyes on the prize.

27. Oh, man, that's kind of similar to my motto.

28. Keep your hands on their thighs.

29. Time to go help mom wash Mr. Steinberg's windows. Peace.

30. - Hey, be cool, babe. - Oh, by the way, G.

31. She tell me to tell you "Hello."

32. - Really? - Nah.

33. I just wanted to watch the earl grey

34. run through your veins.

35. When we have children like that in England

36. we encourage them to emigrate.

37. This is amazing!

38. Did you know the odds of getting hit

39. by an asteroid are one in 6000?

40. Really? I'm feeling kind of lucky, man.

41. Why don't you go outside?

42. "How To Beat The Odds?"

43. Sorry, C, no way to beat it. You're odd.

44. Hilary, I just want to know what job I'll be doing

45. so I can pick out an outfit.

46. Mother, the ladies at the Country Club

47. put me in charge of Monte Carlo Night

48. because I don't play favorites.

49. Well, just remember whose name is on your favorite credit card.

50. "Vivian Banks. Any job she wants."

51. Oh, whoa, what a day! I'm exhausted.

52. Oh, daddy, for Monte Carlo Night

53. you're going to be thecroupier de toilette.

54. Great. What'll I do?

55. You'll make sure that there's always toilet paper

56. on the rolls.

57. Well, it's great to know that all those years of law school

58. are finally coming in handy.

59. And, Will, you're gonna help with the cleanup.

60. Well, I ain't down with that old Country Club stuff

61. sittin' around all night discussin' mayonnaise

62. with four white guys named Biff.

63. Isn't Biff a riot?

64. Will, this is a fund raiser for the LA political coalition.

65. Everything cannot always be about fun.

66. Well, hold it. What? Y'all are gonna make me go?

67. Well, at least show up, if you're still unhappy

68. after the first half-hour

69. consider the rest of the evening

70. punishment for something you've gotten away with.

71. I'd rather be stranded at sea with David Duke

72. leadin' the rescue party.

73. Why should I have to go to this stupid Country Club

74. if I don't want to?

75. How Uncle Phil gonna play a nephew?

76. How's daddy gonna play a daughter?

77. I can't believe he thinks I'm too young to gamble.

78. I've been eating Hilary's cooking since I was three.

79. Whoo! Uncle Phil, man, you're—

80. Looking extremely fly. Thank you, Will.

81. And, yes, you still have to go.

82. Uh, d-daddy, I am really—

83. Gonna miss your daddykins.

84. I know, Ashley. Mwah.

85. And, no, you still can't go.

86. So do I look like a blackjack dealer?

87. You look great, mother

88. but that's not how you wear a halter.

89. It is when your breasts don't come with a receipt.

90. Well, I'm all ready for Monte Carlo Night.

91. I've read this book cover to cover.

92. Ask me about any odd combination.

93. Okay, uh, why is Michael Jackson

94. hanging with that little boy from "Home Alone?"

95. Well, we better be going. Goodnight, Geoffrey.

96. - Sir. - And, Ashley, sweetheart.

97. I'll bring you home a stuffed Ms. Piggy Doll.

98. Oh, joy.

99. Being 13 bites.

100. And I'm too young to know what it bites.

101. Perhaps, biting into a freshly-baked

102. chocolate-chip cookie would lift your spirits.

103. I've poured you a nice cold glass of milk to go with it.

104. Why don't you just slap a diaper on me

105. and hang a mobile over my head?

106. Oh, Geoffrey, it's wonderful!

107. Here is your ginger ale.

108. Shaken, not stirred.

109. I trust you won't be dancing on the table

110. with a lampshade on your head.

111. Ante is one vanilla wafer.

112. Table limit, four mintMilanos.

113. Oh.

114. Something wrong, Ms. Ashley?

115. No, ev-everything's fine.

116. Spill it.

117. Be honest, we're playing with cookies

118. because you think I'm a kid, right?

119. Well, yes.

120. I'm 13!

121. If these were the Middle Ages, I'd already be married

122. and own a pair of oxen.

123. I'm an adult!

124. A young adult.

125. I'll get my wallet.

126. I'll get my Smurf bank.

127. Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold it, man.

128. Come on, there's an old gambling superstition.

129. It says that if you walk into a casino backwards

130. you'll have good luck. Come on.

131. Will, you poor public-school casualty.

132. Everyone knows there is no such thing as luck.

133. There's only the astute mastery of probability.

134. Have it your way, man.

135. Wow! You know, Carlton, you are lucky.

136. That could have been an asteroid.

137. Now, I hope you don't mind my sayin' it

138. but you sure look good.

139. How was heaven when you left it, huh?

140. Anybody ever tell you you sure look sexy when you deal?

141. We all have.

142. We're not here because of the way she shuffles cards.

143. You know what I mean?

144. Gee, it's chilly in here. Ha-ha-ha.

145. I'd hate for my wife to catch cold.

146. Alright, alright. Robin from the 'hood is in the house.

147. Blow on these bones for me, would you, slimmie?

148. Alright.

149. Seven! Yo!

150. Alright! Alright! Let it ride! Let it ride!

151. No way, Will, the odds of you repeating that are six-to-one.

152. It says here, "Don't even make this bet in your dreams."

153. Ah, Carlton, and I too have a dream.

154. And in it, all of the world rises up

155. and overcomes your stupidity. Now stay out of my face.

156. Come on. Don't act like you never done it before.

157. Eleven! Yo!

158. Just like it's supposed to be.

159. Give it to me again. Can I get an amen?

160. - Amen! - Yes, sir, alright.

161. Will, please, the book says

162. there's no way you can win.

163. If I were you, I wouldn't touch those dice.

164. Posse out, short stuff. Robin's on a roll.

165. Alright, here we go.

166. Two pairs. Kings and queens.

167. Uh, three aces.

168. Sorry, Geoffrey.

169. You're $94 in the hole.

170. Should we play again?

171. I think not.

172. Are you mad at me?

173. Of course not, Ms. Ashley.

174. You play verywell.

175. Where did you learn? A back alley in Calcutta?

176. Go, Will! Go, Will!

177. Go, Will! Go, Will! Go, Will! Go, Will!

178. Go, Will! Go, Will! Go, Will!

179. Will, You're insane! Quit while you're ahead.

180. Yo, yo. Man with the bald head.

181. Yo!

182. 'Tell me what they said!'

183. Seven!

184. - Go, Will! - Go, Will!

185. Go, Will! Go, Will!

186. Go, Will! Go, Will! Go, Will!

187. Here we go! Here we go!

188. Eleven!

189. Hey, hey, hey, now who's hotter than Madonna in a pointy bra?

190. You are!

191. Just checking.

192. Seven!

193. May I have everyone's attention, please?

194. It's time for the raffle.

195. A cash prize of $1000.

196. And the winner is..

197. number "1-0-2-2-5."

198. Aah!

199. Carlton, did you win?

200. No, I didn't play!

201. And 1-0-2-2-5 is my lucky number!

202. Wait! Hold it, hold it!

203. 1-0-2-2-5? That's me!

204. - Go, Will! - Go, Will!

205. Go, Will! Go, Will! Go, Will!

206. Go, Will! Go, Will..

207. It is with great pleasure

208. that I present you with this check

209. in the amount of $1000.

210. It is with humongous pleasure

211. that I take this chumpie off your hands.

212. Can we get a picture of this, please?

213. And now can we get a shot of Will

214. giving the check back to the LAPC?

215. Wait, what? Well, excuse me?

216. We'd like a shot of you donating the money back to the LAPC.

217. Wait. What? You, you want me to donate a $1000?

218. - That's the idea. - That's a bad idea.

219. But it's a club tradition.

220. Oh, well, we got a club tradition in Philly, too.

221. It says, "If they don't have one

222. you don't give them your money."

223. Honest, Geoffrey, it would make me feel a lot better

224. if you'd just take your money back.

225. No, thank you.

226. A gentleman always accepts his losses gracefully.

227. Okay, Geoffrey. But you're sure we're still friends?

228. Of course, Ms. Ashley.

229. Look, I just don't understand why you're making

230. such a big deal about this money.

231. I mean, it ain't like I took the Benz drag-racin'

232. down Sunset at 4:00 in the morning.

233. Tattletale.

234. Will, I'm making a big deal

235. because every year the club picks a charity

236. and donates that money to that charity.

237. But-but, Uncle Phil, look, if it's supposed to be my money

238. how come I can't do what I wanna do with it?

239. And I don't wanna donate it to the LAPC.

240. Will, donating that money is a tradition

241. and a tradition isn't something to be thrown away on a whim.

242. Whoa, whoa, hold up! Hold up!

243. You callin' a red-leather suit

244. with matching seat covers a whim?

245. Will, you're being awfully selfish.

246. Obviously, you haven't learned a thing since you've been here.

247. We've all been blessed.

248. And donating to someone less fortunate than yourself

249. is not an option, it's a responsibility.

250. I hear what you're sayin', Uncle Phil.

251. You're right. You're right. You're right.

252. Keeping money that isn't yours is wrong. Very, very wrong.

253. I know, I know.

254. Hey, Ashley honey, what's up?

255. Would everyone just get off my case?

256. I want to give him the money back, but he won't take it.

257. Whoa, puberty's in the house.

258. Hey, you're lookin' fine today.

259. Oh, thanks, I did a little somethin' different

260. with my hair.

261. Hey, here's your boom box. I rewired it.

262. It works fine now. You owe me 50 cents.

263. Man, 50 cents? That's real reasonable.

264. Hey, a happy customer is a loyal customer.

265. - How much for the shoeshine? - A 150 bucks.

266. Hey, I got to make up the differences somewhere.

267. How else am I going to get to basketball camp?

268. Alright, well, hey, let's just get out of here

269. before Linda Blair's head

270. starts spinnin' around.

271. Good morning, baby.

272. Oh, mommy, you look so pretty.

273. Thank you.

274. Hilary's taking your father and me

275. to brunch at the club today.

276. I want to thank them for being so helpful

277. while I organized Monte Carlo Night.

278. The way we all pulled together

279. made me see the importance of family

280. and how truly blessed I am.

281. What about the rest of us? We're family, too.

282. Yeah, but if I take all of you, I won't have

283. enough money left over to buy a hat.

284. You know what I was thinking?

285. I'm tired of going to the club

286. seeing those same old faces all the time.

287. What say we head down to Denny's for a short stack?

288. Oh, Philip, Hilary wants to take us to the club for brunch.

289. Hm, after what Will did last night

290. they're all gonna be gossiping about us.

291. I mean, why put ourselves through that?

292. Oh, they won't be gossiping.

293. Will gave the check back.

294. Besides, people at our club aren't like that.

295. I mean, no one cared about Mrs. Silverberg's divorce.

296. Hm. I heard she's been seeing the golf pro.

297. I heard her husband caught them in the utility closet.

298. But did you know that both of them were wearing

299. nothing but cleats?

300. It was the tennis pro in the steam room.

301. But the cleats part is right.

302. Kids talk.

303. See, Vivian? Everybody's looking at us.

304. No, they aren't.

305. Vivian, I want to congratulate you

306. on having such a talented daughter.

307. Here, in case you need this.

308. Uh, thank you, but I don't smoke.

309. It's gold. It's worth something.

310. I thought she was still on the wagon.

311. Something very strange is going on here.

312. Uh, excuse me, waiter. Could we have the check, please?

313. It's already been taken care of.

314. By whom?

315. By the way, if you need to unload one of your cars

316. I can give you cash. I just sold a screenplay.

317. Excuse me a minute.

318. Henry. Henry!

319. What in God's name is going on here?

320. If you needed money, why didn't you come to me

321. in-instead of making Will keep that check?

322. It was Will's idea. I told him to give it back.

323. Sure. Sure, old man.

324. George, would you tell him that Will gave back

325. that check, please?

326. Well, I'd love to, but he didn't.

327. But I told him to.

328. Well, this is obviously some kind of mistake.

329. Oh, sure, and Mrs. Silverberg was wearing cleats

330. because she forgot her shower shoes.

331. Uh, Geoffrey, I took a piece of gum from your windbreaker.

332. Quite alright, Ms. Ashley.

333. No, no, no. I insist on paying you back. Here.

334. A stick of double mint costs but a few pennies.

335. A-a few pennies, $94. Why split hairs?

336. Ms. Ashley, you have offended my honor.

337. Honor schmonor! It's your male pride.

338. Ms. Ashley!

339. I'm sorry, Geoffrey, but I'm sick and tired

340. of men acting like pouty babies

341. just because you beat them at something.

342. Like the time I beat Bobby Greenspan at tether ball.

343. After that he told everyone at school that I took steroids.

344. I apologize, Ms. Ashley.

345. I have acted like an utter fool.

346. That's alright, Geoffrey.

347. I had to stuff Bobby Greenspan in his locker

348. before he would apologize.

349. Man, I finally beat you.

350. Hey, man, no, no, man! The sun was in my eyes.

351. Man, the same sun was in my eyes.

352. Stop bein' a baby.

353. Well, man, I ain't bein' no baby.

354. And if you beat me again, I'm takin' my ball

355. and I ain't being your friend.

356. Well, man, I got to go find G.

357. He got some shoes for me to shine.

358. Philip, I'm sure Will just hasn't gotten around

359. to returning the check yet.

360. Vivian, when I tell Will to do something

361. I expect for it to be done.

362. Hey, Aunt Viv, Uncle Phil..

363. Oh, you got that mad look in your eyes.

364. Let me guess. You grabbed Geoffrey's underwear by mistake.

365. Am I right?

366. Will, why didn't you give that check to charity

367. like I told you to?

368. What are you talkin' about? I did.

369. Don't stand there and lie to me.

370. I'm not lying!

371. I just got back from the club.

372. And I've never been so humiliated.

373. I thought we had an agreement that that money

374. was going to go where it was most needed.

375. Now you march upstairs and get me that check.

376. Well, I can't. The money's gone.

377. Well, how could you have spent a $1000 already?

378. Wow! Will, you must be loaded.

379. You spent a grand and had another grand

380. to give to me for basketball camp?

381. I got to raise your shoeshine rate.

382. You gave the money to Ramon?

383. Well, yeah, you know, it's just a loan

384. till his sneaker endorsement comes through in

385. you know, around 2010.

386. Oh, Will, that was very commendable

387. but that's not what that money was raised for.

388. Oh, come on, Uncle Phil, you said I got a break

389. and I was supposed to give somebody else a break.

390. So I gave the money to Ramon.

391. He's right, Philip. You did say that.

392. I'll still donate a $1000 to LAPC.

393. Yeah, that's cool.

394. But lookie here.

395. Seeing as how you're in this extremely generous mood

396. I want to know if you was down with donatin'

397. to the United Negro Nephew Fund?

398. You know, they say a Saturday night

399. is a terrible thing to waste.

400. Child, you must be on dog food.

401. No, no, see, I ain't down with that country stuff.

402. Country, country.. Oh!

403. Here we go, one more time.

404. Here it is, blah-za-bleh-zu-tinnus, oh!

405. I thought we had an agreement that we were gonna

406. give that money to where it was supposed to..

407. 'Oh!'

408. Be with me people. Pray for me now.