The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air: Season 1, Episode 4

Directed by Jeff Melman

Virginia Capers as Hattie Banks • Helen Page Camp as Margaret Furth • Jeff Hayenga as Waiter • Gilbert Lewis as Joe Banks • Kathy Griffin as Susan Klein

Will tries to smooth things between Philip and his very rural parents when they visit to see him receive an award.

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1. Shall I continue to delay dinner madam?

2. Yes, Geoffrey. I don't know where he could be.

3. He's never late without calling.

4. Do you think daddy's alright?

5. It's awfully late, mom.

6. Okay, let's not jump to any conclusions.

7. I know we're all worried but let's not—

8. ohh!

9. Look, bill kazmaier has a street-wise niece

10. comin' on the show.

11. That should be decent.

12. I'm home.

13. Daddy!

14. Philip, where have you been?

15. At the office. I'm sorry I didn't call,

16. but I wanted to rush home with the great news.

17. What is the highest recognition

18. a self-made black professional can receive?

19. A raise!

20. No, darling, it's not a raise.

21. I'm getting the urban spirit award.

22. Oh, Philip, we're so proud of you.

23. Is it a cash award?

24. Hilary, don't be so short-sighted.

25. This award is an honor which leads to prestige

26. which leads to cash.

27. The community leaders are recognizing me

28. for helping our brothers and sisters on the streets.

29. The only time you're on the streets

30. is when you're waiting for the valet to bring your car.

31. Is that so, son?

32. Let me tell you something.

33. The '63 march on Washington?

34. I was there.

35. The '65 demonstrations at Selma, I was there.

36. The '65 watts riots, I was there, too.

37. Seems to me, every place you go, trouble follows.

38. Well, your Uncle deserves this award.

39. He's fought a lot of discrimination cases.

40. He's prosecuted slumlords.

41. He's started scholarship funds.

42. All that and he still found time to vote for Reagan—twice.

43. Thank you, sweetheart.

44. Remember some of that when the reporter gets here.

45. Reporter?

46. Photographer?

47. New dress!

48. All right, sweetheart. You can have a new dress.

49. I want you all at your best

50. for the interview and the awards banquet.

51. Daddy, this is wonderful!

52. Two new dresses!

53. Have you called your parents?

54. You bet. They're taking the next plane out.

55. Oh, great! Grandma and grandpa are coming to visit!

56. Toys!

57. come on, ash. Rock this funky joint, baby.

58. Less like George Michael, more like hammer. Come on.

59. You got to put some more butt into it.

60. That's it. Ooh, yeah!

61. Excuse me, but grandma and grandpa are here.

62. I just saw the cab pull up the driveway.

63. Yoo-hoo!

64. Grandpa!

65. Sweet potato!

66. Grandma!

67. Ashley, sweetie!

68. Ooh, my, how you've grown!

69. Hilary, sweetie!

70. Ooh, my, how you've grown!

71. Carlton, sweetie!

72. Hi.

73. Grandma, grandpa, this is my cousin will.

74. Hi, will. Your Uncle told us all about you.

75. I don't know, hattie.

76. He don't look like the devil incarnate.

77. Thanks.

78. So, how was the flight from Baltimore?

79. Baltimore?

80. Yeah. That's where Uncle Phil's from, right?

81. He moved there when he was 16,

82. but he was born and raised in yamicraw.

83. Yamicraw?

84. North Carolina.

85. I can't believe Zeke never mentioned his hometown.

86. Zeke?

87. Mama! Pop!

88. Mama!

89. Oh!

90. Hey, Uncle Zeke!

91. Give the old man a hug.

92. Oh, sweetheart.

93. Am I trippin' or does this sortta remind you

94. the last episode of "family ties"?

95. I tell you.

96. Hey, daddy, didn't I send you money for a new suit?

97. Hey, you're looking at it.

98. Me and my buddy Leroy went down to the dry goods store

99. and we each got a suit,

100. a fishing rod, and some radial tires.

101. Well, I guess I better get to fixing supper.

102. Geoffrey!

103. This is what I'll be needing.

104. "1 pound of lard,

105. "four handfuls poke Greens,

106. and a big ol' slab of fatback."

107. Now, if it comes to more than a dollar, they're cheating you.

108. We are going to have pork chops, collard Greens,

109. baked macaroni, and sweet potato pie.

110. Mmm! Have mercy!

111. Grandma, grandpa, want to see our swimming pool?

112. That's a good idea.

113. Oh, growing up, my Zeke always did love our swimming hole.

114. He would strip down to his birthday suit

115. and dive right in!

116. Oh, granny, please! It's almost dinnertime.

117. Oh, he just loved his skinny-dipping, him and Melvin.

118. Melvin.

119. Oh, I don't think we want to hear anything—

120. au contraire, dad. The Melvin stories are priceless.

121. So, Melvin was like his best friend?

122. Melvin was his pig.

123. Oh, I have plenty stories about my Zeke.

124. Are any of them humiliating stories?

125. The best ones are.

126. Let's start with those.

127. it's 3:00 in the morning, will.

128. How did you see me?

129. Mama knows.

130. Hey, look, granny, um...

131. Please don't tell Uncle Phil.

132. I'm just a little bit past my curfew.

133. How much is a little?

134. Let's just say I went out after I was supposed to be in.

135. Don't do it again.

136. What are you doing up so late?

137. I had to get up and get breakfast started.

138. I don't know what y'all got that Geoffrey for.

139. Five card draw?

140. Yeah, I'm with it.

141. You know, granny, I really like you.

142. You and grandpa, you have fun.

143. You all bust me up.

144. Thank you, son.

145. Hey, granny, it's late.

146. Everybody's asleep.

147. You can level with me.

148. Uncle Phil's adopted, right?

149. Oh, now, we're real proud of Zeke.

150. Did you know he won

151. the young farmers of America pig raising trophy?

152. No, I didn't know that,

153. but I'd love to have some details about that.

154. Won it four years running.

155. They had to retire his slop bucket.

156. Slop bucket?

157. Oh, I can't wait till he wakes up.

158. Respect your elders, son.

159. Mm-mmm! See, I beat you!

160. You know, he was the first black president

161. of the young farmers.

162. Was that like a big thing?

163. Oh, my, yes!

164. Mm-mmm!

165. I beat you again!

166. You know, then we also had those white rest rooms?

167. - Yeah. - Mm-hmm.

168. Well, I remember this one time we was downtown,

169. and Zeke had too much lemonade,

170. and suddenly he just split out from me

171. and split right into that white rest room.

172. They told him to leave,

173. but little Zeke just stood his ground.

174. - Uncle Phil did that? - Mm-hmm.

175. Mm-mmm! Lookee here, I beat you again.

176. Alright, now that reporter's gonna be here any minute.

177. Does everybody remember what they are supposed to say?

178. - Hilary? - Yes, daddy.

179. - Ashley? - Yes, daddy.

180. Vivian?

181. What is this a Von trapp family?

182. Philip, I'm not about to parrot a bunch of compliments

183. for the benefit of some reporter.

184. Let's not be naive, Vivian.

185. I've dealt with the press before, if you don't rehearse

186. what you goin' to say, they eat you alive.

187. Carlton?

188. At the fore front of the civil rights movement..

189. You were asleep, son.

190. Sorry dad, all of grandma's pies last night

191. and waffles this morning, I just crashed.

192. I've got the sugar blues.

193. I'm this close to a cry Jack.

194. Ms. Melissa klein, sir.

195. L.A. press, urban beat.

196. I'd like you to meet my family.

197. My wife Vivian, my son Carlton,

198. my daughters hilary and Ashley.

199. Pleased to meet you.

200. So where's the photographer?

201. Oh, your father sent a picture in already.

202. - Am I in it? - Yes, you are.

203. Am I pretty?

204. Let's begin the interview, shall we?

205. Mr. Banks,

206. you're the lawyer who won the landmark

207. housing discrimination case Winston vs. Jones,

208. but our readers want to know about Philip banks the man.

209. I really don't like to blow my own horn.

210. Ahem.

211. Growing up on the mean streets of Baltimore, Maryland,

212. Philip banks overcame great obstacles

213. to win a scholarship to Princeton university

214. in 1963.

215. You know, hilary,

216. Princeton was the turning point

217. in Philip banks' life.

218. It was then that he developed an interest in law

219. and distinguished himself as a fine student,

220. earning himself a place at Harvard law school.

221. That's right, Carlton.

222. But did you know that Philip banks,

223. in addition to becoming a partner

224. of the prestigious law firm of furth, wynn and meyer,

225. remained active in the field of civil rights,

226. culminating in his crowning achievement in 1975

227. when he was elected to the board of the aspca.

228. Aspca?

229. I think Ashley means n-double-a-a-c-p.

230. Sorry, daddy.

231. Yo, yo, yo.

232. Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo.

233. After living in bel-air,

234. it was great to spend time at Disneyland

235. to get back to reality.

236. Ooh. Joe, it's 7:30.

237. We're becoming a couple of night owls.

238. We better put ourselves to bed.

239. Oh, honey, I'll put you.

240. Good night, honey.

241. Feature desk, please.

242. Jake? Melissa.

243. I'm having second thoughts

244. about this Philip banks piece.

245. It's one long, boring resume.

246. I thought I had an angle about the aspca,

247. but that turned out to be a blind alley.

248. I'm telling you, this man's life is boring.

249. His own son kept nodding out.

250. We better kill the story.

251. O.K. Bye.

252. Uh, hold up, lady.

253. My Uncle's been looking forward to this all week.

254. If you kill that story, he'll get mad.

255. If he gets mad, the heat comes down on me.

256. You gotta wake up and smell the java.

257. Your Uncle's dull. Dull, dull, dull.

258. Dull?

259. Sweetheart, that's one thing my Uncle is not.

260. Max out, lady. I got some stories for you.

261. Oh, dear.

262. Oh, good Geoffrey, you got the paper.

263. Yes, madam.

264. Make sure you buy that 100 copies that Mr. Banks wanted.

265. Before we make such an investment

266. perhaps it might be wise for you to parus

267. the contents of this article.

268. Oh, dear.

269. Geoffrey, how on earth did they get a hold of all these stories?

270. Madame, the press is made up of a very low type of person.

271. You see what they've done to Fergie.

272. Vivian, is it in the morning paper?

273. Uh... Yeah.

274. Good. You got the paper.

275. Why don't you have your morning coffee first, sir?

276. That's, perfect.

277. I'll have my coffee,

278. and you read it to me Geoffrey.

279. Yes, sir.

280. "Local lawyer wins prestigious award."

281. Well, it goes on from there.

282. Goes on to what?

283. Just details, really.

284. I'll just recycle this.

285. Give it to me.

286. "The coveted urban spirit award,

287. "given to Los Angeles' outstanding black leaders,

288. "will be presented tonight to distinguished attorney

289. Philip banks."

290. Ah, this is well-written.

291. "Known to his barnyard companions as Zeke...

292. "Banks is no stranger to accolades.

293. "This ex-hog-handler

294. "slopped his way to the top

295. "with the help of his trusted companion

296. Melvin the pig."

297. Who is responsible for this?

298. Ya, ya, ya, ya.

299. Hey, Uncle Zeke. I got your 100 copies.

300. How did they get all these stories about the pig?

301. All right. All right.

302. I wasn't going to tell you, but...

303. You!

304. Will, honey...

305. Run.

306. - What did I do? - What did you do?

307. You destroyed my image.

308. - I ain't destroyed nothing. - You did. Look at that story.

309. At that banquet tonight,

310. everybody's going to think

311. I'm nothing but a hog-handling hick from yamicraw.

312. That is where you're from, Zeke.

313. Mama.

314. I'm just having words with will.

315. And I'm having words with you.

316. What are you ashamed of?

317. We always put food on the table

318. and clothes on your back.

319. Mama, I'm not ashamed.

320. There are just aspects of my life

321. I don't wish emphasized.

322. Where I come from,

323. they call that being ashamed...

324. Mr. Big shot!

325. Mother, you look very nice in your dress tonight.

326. Did you enjoy the limousine, pop?

327. You bet. I went—

328. hattie, aren't you going to talk at all?

329. Come on. We're mature adults.

330. Refusing to speak won't solve anything.

331. That's right, Uncle Phil.

332. I'm not talking to you.

333. Philip, Vivian, congratulations.

334. We're all quite proud of you, old man.

335. Thank you.

336. These are my parents— hattie and Joe banks.

337. Henry and Margaret furth.

338. Ma'am, would you like salmon or chateaubriand?

339. We don't want to be a bother.

340. We'll just hang on to these empty plates.

341. Thank you kindly.

342. Are you sure you don't want any food?

343. We don't want to impose.

344. We'll just fade into the background.

345. Breast or wing?

346. I think I'll have a wing, thank you.

347. We got any okra casserole?

348. Coming up.

349. Aw-w! Granny.

350. You know how Uncle Phil

351. likes his mama's okra casserole.

352. He probably wants some.

353. It ain't going to work, will.

354. What is this interesting m lange?

355. It smells divine.

356. Just plain old okra and tomato, honey.

357. Mmm. Delicious.

358. Try that, Henry.

359. Outstanding.

360. Do we have any biscuits?

361. I hope they're still hot.

362. Can I say something please?

363. I just know that at a time like this,

364. my Uncle Phil is extremely happy

365. to have his two loving parents here with him.

366. I can feel the love at this table.

367. Parents?

368. To hear him tell it,

369. he just sprung full-grown from the ground,

370. and we had nothing to do with it.

371. He just sprung up like a big, old eggplant.

372. Excuse me.

373. Excuse me, sir.

374. - Aren't you Philip banks? - Yes.

375. Yeah, the hog-slopping lawyer.

376. Saw your picture in the paper this mornin'.

377. Ah, is Melvin gonna be here tonight?

378. Oh, no. Melvin eschews these type of events.

379. I'm the same way.

380. What are you doing in here, Uncle Phil?

381. Is this for your information,

382. or will this be in usa today?

383. I'm sorry you're mad.

384. The reporter was trashing the article

385. until I gave her those pig stories.

386. Yes. Everyone loves

387. those amusing little agricultural anecdotes.

388. It never occurred to you

389. they'd make me look like a fool.

390. Your plaid golf shorts make you look like a fool.

391. Those stories make you great.

392. You did a lot for black people.

393. Raising a pig for the young farmers'association?

394. Puts me right there with Martin Luther King.

395. You were the first black president. That's something.

396. And the whites-only rest room?

397. In case my mother didn't mention,

398. I wasn't proving a point.

399. I just really had to go.

400. I see a whole lot of that.

401. I mean, Uncle Phil, it's like rosa parks.

402. When she sat in the front of the bus,

403. she wasn't proving a point either.

404. Her feet hurt.

405. They told her to leave, and she didn't, neither did you.

406. I must be kidding myself.

407. I had it all planned out.

408. There was my family, all lined up to meet the press.

409. There I was with my perfect image.

410. Philip banks—

411. pulled himself up from the streets

412. with his own bootstraps.

413. The only problem was, I didn't have it that hard.

414. I had two parents who loved me

415. and were always there for me.

416. Worked hard to make sure I'd have everything they never had.

417. Why are you worried so much about image?

418. The truth sounds real good to me.

419. I don't think my mother will ever forgive me.

420. Oh, man, granny's great.

421. Just explain it to her.

422. Will, there's something you have to learn.

423. Sometimes parents just don't understand.

424. In addition to the civil rights cases

425. he has won as an attorney,

426. Philip banks is a community leader,

427. an unsparing philanthropist,

428. and a role model to all citizens.

429. Ladies and gentlemen,

430. Philip banks.

431. Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo!

432. Thank you.

433. Thank you.

434. I grew up on the streets of Baltimore.

435. But I was born on a farm in yamicraw, north Carolina.

436. I was one of the lucky ones.

437. I had two wonderful parents

438. who worked hard every day of their lives.

439. They couldn't give me many material things,

440. but they gave me morals,

441. courage...

442. And most important of all—love.

443. I just hope I can give the next generation...

444. What my parents gave me.

445. Oh, I hope he mentions his pig.