The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air: Season 1, Episode 23

Directed by Rae Kraus

Tom Lister Jr. as Tiny • Miguel A. Núñez, Jr. as Slick • DJ Jazzy Jeff as Jazz • J'Vonne Pearson as Chuck • Larry Jones as Aligaroo

Will challenges Carlton to spend time in a tough neighborhood, trying to survive by masquerading as a financial consultant.

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1. Philip, this kitchen's a mess.

2. I'd appreciate some help.

3. I'm cleaning out the refrigerator.

4. Check it out.

5. I got the perfect thing to surprise Ashley with

6. at her birthday party.

7. Yo, Geoffrey! Come on down!

8. I'd really rather not, master William.

9. Come on, g, they waiting.

10. All right.

11. Come on, g, kick it.

12. Hi, kids.

13. How are you doodly-do doing?

14. I have never been more humiliated in my life.

15. Geoffrey, we're not laughing at you,

16. we're laughing with you.

17. Yo, that's just them. I'm definitely laughing at you.

18. Master William, you could have at least

19. rented a proper clown costume.

20. There's a nasty stain on my shirt.

21. That ain't no stain.

22. Right there.

23. Hi, everybody.

24. Hi.

25. Oh, hi, almost birthday girl.

26. Well, sweetie, how does it feel to be almost 12?

27. Dad, as you get older,

28. birthdays have less and less significance.

29. You know, I really stopped counting at 10.

30. Aren't you a little bit excited about your party?

31. Well, I know it's a little immature,

32. but yes, yes! I can't wait!

33. What are you going to wish for?

34. There's one thing I'm wishing for.

35. A dress? A doll?

36. No.

37. A boy!

38. now, this is a good picture of him.

39. Who's he?

40. His name's little t.

41. You know— that kid singer.

42. He's not just a kid singer.

43. He's the coolest, cutest guy in the universe.

44. Some would beg to differ.

45. I've been reading about him.

46. Listen. He loves video games, cheeseburgers,

47. and basketball.

48. He hates rainy days, anchovies,

49. and phony people.

50. He is so deep.

51. You're telling me.

52. He like all the same stuff I like.

53. God, I'd love to meet him someday.

54. I wonder what I'd say.

55. How about "hold the anchovies"?

56. Very funny, Carlton.

57. You know, it's just because

58. you've never really been in love.

59. I don't like the ugly turn this is taking.

60. Carlton, what are you talking about?

61. I don't think it's healthy

62. that Ashley's boy-crazy.

63. Shouldn't she be playing with those toy ponies

64. with the pink hair?

65. Carlton, it's just puppy love.

66. Don't you remember your first crush?

67. Yeah. It was tootie on the facts of life.

68. Wait. You had a love thing for tootie?

69. When did you get over it?

70. What do you mean?

71. I'd still love to meet her.

72. I wonder what I'd say.

73. How about "hello, tootie,

74. I'm fruity"?

75. Look, just because you've never been in love!

76. I've got the perfect idea

77. for Ashley's birthday.

78. What's that, sweetheart?

79. I know little t's agent.

80. He dated my friend Jennifer.

81. I'll bet he could get Ashley a seat

82. at little t's concert.

83. Hilary, if you know his agent,

84. you can get something twice as good.

85. Oh! Two seats.

86. Let me walk you through this one.

87. Tomorrow is Ashley's birthday party.

88. Ashley has a crush on little t.

89. Birthday party. Little t.

90. Birthday party. Little t.

91. Something beginning to gel here?

92. Wouldn't it be nice

93. if little t came to Ashley's birthday party?

94. That would be cute.

95. Everybody please be quiet. I'm trying to think.

96. This party's been going on an hour.

97. When's little t going to get here?

98. Celebrities always come to parties fashionably late.

99. For a celebrity, being an hour late

100. is like being a half an hour early.

101. If he's not here 15 minutes ago,

102. that's his butt.

103. Hi, kids. I'm tidy the clown.

104. We're going to play a new game.

105. It's called clean up after your spoiled selves.

106. Mom, dad, make him stop.

107. What's wrong?

108. A clown at a birthday party?

109. It's so babyish.

110. I'm about to get this party started right.

111. Kids, check it out.

112. I'm Ashley's cousin will,

113. and I'm about to hip you all to this new dance.

114. It's called dumb dancing,

115. and you got to have a serious mug on

116. the whole time, right?

117. All right. Come on. You give it a try.

118. Yeah. Like that'll be happening.

119. Yeah, man, who invited the old guy?

120. My brother, you want to take this outside?

121. Will, will you cut it out?

122. You are wrecking the party.

123. This stuff is for babies— clowns, dance contests.

124. Hi, kids. Prepare to be amazed.

125. It's time for the great carltoni!

126. I wish I was never born.

127. Oh, great. Now, that's little t's agent.

128. I was the only one who thought homw alone would make money.

129. Yeah, that was me.

130. Oh, got to go.

131. Lee.

132. Hilary.

133. Listen, sorry I'm late,

134. but I was just at Goldie's house,

135. and Goldie and Chevy and Mel were there.

136. It just turned into a thing,

137. and I had to straighten it out, you know.

138. Oh, exactly.

139. Well, is little t here?

140. Hey, would I lie to you?

141. Happy Birthday, Ashley.

142. Are you feeling better?

143. I can't believe I just did that.

144. This is so embarrassing.

145. Oh, it's not so bad.

146. I've been planning things to say

147. if I got a chance to meet you.

148. I finally meet you, and I don't make a sound.

149. I don't know about that.

150. You made a good thud when you hit the ground.

151. Did I, really?

152. I can't even faint right.

153. You mean this is the most embarrassing thing

154. that's ever happened to you?

155. Well, I guess not.

156. What was?

157. I can't tell you. It's too embarrassing.

158. I'll tell you my most embarrassing moment.

159. I was dressing for gym class during a fire drill,

160. and I had to run out of the building in my drawers.

161. O.K. I'll tell you mine.

162. It was the honor day assembly.

163. I was sitting with my legs crossed,

164. and when they called my name,

165. I stood up, walked across the stage,

166. only my leg was asleep.

167. And then—thwap! I fell flat on my face.

168. Come to think of it,

169. most of my embarrassing moments

170. involve me hitting the floor.

171. You're really funny.

172. You're really cool, too.

173. Who, me?

174. Yeah. Well, look, I've got to go.

175. Sorry we didn't have more time to talk,

176. I mean, what with you being unconscious and all.

177. Oh, o.K., well, thanks for coming.

178. Sure.

179. Look, you want to go out sometime?

180. Who, me?

181. I thought we'd go out for pizza tomorrow night,

182. if you're free.

183. I'd have to check my calendar,

184. but I think I'm free.

185. O.K. Then can I come around 7:00?

186. O.K.

187. O.K, then.

188. O.K.

189. I guess I'll go now.

190. Oh, o.K. I'll walk you to the door.

191. O.K.

192. O.K.

193. Hilary, would you like a sandwich?

194. No. I'm too excited.

195. I can never eat before a big date.

196. Do I look o.K.?

197. Hilary, it's not even your date.

198. It's Ashley's date.

199. Yeah, but still, do I look o.K.?

200. Hilary, baby, calm down.

201. I'm sorry, but this is the most exciting day

202. in a girl's life.

203. It's Ashley's first date,

204. and it's with a celebrity.

205. It is so gratifying

206. to see her developing the right values.

207. Ohh.

208. Ohh.

209. Oh, guys, don't do that.

210. What?

211. You know, sigh like that.

212. You make me feel like Benji.

213. O.K. We're just excited, that's all.

214. We'll calm down.

215. Is my hair o.K.?

216. Sure.

217. Thank you. I'm going into the living room.

218. Baby, I just want to get one picture.

219. Oh, mom, not the camcorder.

220. But, sweetheart, this is your first date.

221. This only happens once in your life.

222. Thank God.

223. O.K., now turn around

224. so we can see your pretty dress.

225. Go out and come in again.

226. Mom.

227. Go on. Hilary,

228. you drink your coffee like you were.

229. Oh, that was great.

230. No, mom. Let's do it again.

231. I wasn't happy with what I did.

232. Ashley, go back out again.

233. Will you guys cut it out?

234. You're driving me crazy.

235. He's a special boy,

236. and I don't want to mess things up.

237. Remember, this is my first date.

238. Ohh. Ohh.

239. I'm telling you,

240. he kissed her right on her mouth.

241. It was more on the cheek.

242. He was aiming for her mouth and missed.

243. The kid is aggressive and inaccurate,

244. and that's a dangerous combination.

245. You're getting worked up over nothing.

246. He's just a 13-year-old boy.

247. Uncle Phil, I know what goes on

248. in the mind of a 13-year-old.

249. Considering you still have the mind of a 13-year-old.

250. Will's got a good point.

251. When I was 13,

252. I harbored some pretty impure thoughts about tootie.

253. Look, I wasn't thrilled about her going out.

254. She's only 12, but she had her heart set on it.

255. The kid's agent is chaperoning.

256. What could possibly happen?

257. Uh-huh. That's them.

258. This discussion is at an end.

259. Master t and Mr. Lee Cohen.

260. Hey, you're English.

261. You know,

262. I represent some English bands.

263. Ever heard of Duran Duran?

264. Why, yes.

265. When they came to me,

266. they were just duran.

267. I added the second duran,

268. and bang-o!

269. You must be so, so proud.

270. Hi, Mr. Banks.

271. I brought some flowers for Ashley.

272. Oh, now, that's sweet.

273. Isn't that sweet, will, Carlton?

274. Yeah, real sweet.

275. Mm-hmm.

276. This evening should be fun.

277. I hope it will be.

278. Ashley's in the kitchen. Why don't you join her?

279. Isn't that sweet?

280. He seems really excited about his first date.

281. First date? Dream on.

282. First date today maybe.

283. Pardon me?

284. On tour, he's got to beat the chicks away.

285. Wish I had a piece of that action.

286. Action.

287. Isn't that sweet?

288. You kids have a great time.

289. We will.

290. Did you hear that? "We will."

291. All right, kids. Let's party.

292. O.K., sweetie. Bye-bye. Have a good time.

293. Bye-bye.

294. Have fun, you guys.

295. Bye-bye.

296. Bye.

297. Follow them.

298. Out.

299. When I first read the script of pretty woman

300. it was called attractive woman.

301. I said, come on, guys, let's go all the way with this.

302. So they changed the title and bang-o!

303. What's your favorite video game?

304. Tetris.

305. Me, too.

306. I brought my game boy.

307. So, you want to play?

308. Uh, o.K.

309. O.K.

310. O.K.

311. Uh-oh. He's got his arm around her already.

312. That's the same arm I used when I was 13.

313. That's that love arm.

314. We better work fast. Let's roll.

315. Hey, Ashley, little t, what's going on?

316. What are you two doing here?

317. Uncle Phil got hungry,

318. so he sent us to pick up a dozen pizzas.

319. Ashley, can I speak to you for a minute?

320. Excuse me.

321. What do you want?

322. Don't get upset, but it's your hair.

323. It's doing a weird bird's nest thing.

324. You might want to fix it.

325. I'll be right back.

326. I'm going to be straight with you.

327. You're going out with my little cousin.

328. You better not try nothing.

329. Huh?

330. Don't—don't— don't—don't give me that innocent role.

331. I know what you people

332. in the music business are like.

333. Makes me sick.

334. Sorry. I don't know what you're talking about.

335. Ohh!

336. Perhaps this will refresh your memory.

337. From the current issue of right on magazine.

338. There's a picture of you

339. at the soul train awards.

340. Kindly tell us who this bimbo is on your arm.

341. That's my mom.

342. Uh, sorry.

343. Wow!

344. All right. You covered yourself on that one,

345. but what about this girlie action you get on tour?

346. Your agent told me all about it.

347. You believe my agent?

348. Man, he lies about everything.

349. He told me I could have a career in singing.

350. With all the recording, touring, and my homework,

351. I haven't had time for girls.

352. To tell you the truth,

353. this is my first real date.

354. I knew that.

355. I just brought Carlton down

356. 'cause I had to prove it to him.

357. Let's go.

358. Carlton, I looked at my hair,

359. and it was fine.

360. If you two don't mind,

361. I'd like to continue with my date alone.

362. We're going.

363. Check you later, ash.

364. What was that all about?

365. I don't know. Don't worry about it.

366. So, you want to play some more tetris?

367. O.K.

368. O.K. I'm really having a good time, Ashley.

369. So am I.

370. Ohh. Ohh.

371. I don't believe you, Philip.

372. You sent them to spy on your own daughter?

373. What's wrong with that?

374. She is my daughter.

375. I'd do it again, damn it.

376. Word to big bird.

377. Just say the word, and we there, Uncle Phil.

378. This was such a big night for Ashley.

379. We were happy for her. What got into you?

380. I know it was a big night for her.

381. I knew it had to come some time.

382. I just didn't think it would come so soon.

383. She's really growing up.

384. I guess it's time for us

385. to stop butting into her life so much.

386. No, it's not!

387. Hi, everybody.

388. How did it go?

389. I'm not going to talk about it.

390. Oh, come on. Please.

391. O.K. Well, he did kiss me.

392. Ooh! Ooh!

393. Ohh! Ohh! Ohh!

394. I want to hear everything.

395. We'll pop popcorn, do our nails,

396. and you can tell me everything.

397. I'd like a written copy of that report.

398. Ashley, sweetie,

399. when you walked in from that date

400. with that smile on your face,

401. that's a moment I will always remember.

402. That's nice, mom.

403. Could you do it again,

404. and I'll go get the camcorder?

405. Mom.

406. O.K. O.K. Just asking.

407. Good night.

408. Good night.

409. My little princess.

410. I cannot believe my little girl

411. went out on a real date tonight.

412. He's a really nice guy.

413. I know,

414. but there's something you should know.

415. What?

416. I'm never going to like anybody you bring home.

417. Well, that's awfully fair of you.

418. It's not that they're not good.

419. It's just that nobody is good enough for you.

420. Night, daddy.

421. Um, look, I'm just sorry I wrecked your date, ash.

422. You didn't, will.

423. It was the most wonderful night of my life.

424. Really? That's great.

425. I think your second date will be even better,

426. 'cause when you're 21,

427. you appreciate these things more.

428. I'm going out with him again next Saturday.

429. Next Saturday I'm busy.

430. You'll have to change that.

431. I know you're busy.

432. That's why I made it for then.

433. Good night, will.

434. Good night, ash.

435. You should try being a rapper.

436. When you're rapping you mess up the words

437. and make up some new ones right there on the spot.

438. Let's try this.

439. I'll sing one line and you make up a line to rhyme it.

440. O.K.

441. All right. Let's see.

442. I'm thinking, all right?

443. That's all right. We got all day.

444. Okay, I've got it.

445. All right. Here we go.

446. captioning performed by the national captioning institute, inc.