The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air 1x20

Directed by Jeff Melman

Sherrié Austin as Lady Penelope • Tony Longo as Otis • William Glover as Lord Fowler • Melvin Jones as Tough Guy • William Upton as Bouncer

Fresh Prince Will is on his best behavior for visiting royalty - the seemingly demure Lady Penelope, who Will hopes to persuade to let herself have a good time at a party.

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1. 163?

2. OH, THIS WHOLE PAGE IS WRONG.

3. GEOFFREY.

4. I'M SORRY, MISS ASHLEY.

5. I AM TRYING TO KEEP THIS PLACE TIDY.

6. LORD FOWLER AND HIS DAUGHTER

7. LADY PENELOPE

8. WILL BE HERE AT ANY MOMENT.

9. WELL, WHY ARE YOU SO NERVOUS ABOUT IT?

10. LORD FOWLER GAVE ME MY FIRST JOB

11. AS A FULL-FLEDGED BUTLER.

12. AND HE IS ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT MEN IN BRITAIN.

13. OH. WELL, I WOULDN'T WANT TO EMBARRASS YOU.

14. BRITISH PEOPLE HAVE REALLY GOOD MANNERS.

15. ASHLEY, I USED TO BE

16. INTIMIDATED BY THE BRITISH.

17. I THOUGHT THEY WERE SUPERIOR

18. IN TASTE, STYLE, AND BREEDING.

19. AND THEN I SAW BENNY HILL.

20. MASTER CARLTON.

21. FIRST OF ALL,

22. I LIKE BENNY HILL.

23. AND SECONDLY,

24. WHILE LORD FOWLER IS HERE,

25. I MUST ASK YOU TO KEEP

26. WISECRACKS LIKE THAT TO YOURSELF.

27. DURING HIS STAY,

28. I WANT ALL OF YOU CHILDREN

29. TO MAINTAIN AN AIR OF QUIET DIGNITY.

30. GEOFFREY, MON.

31. DO DA LIMBO WITH ME.

32. THIS IS PRECISELY WHAT CANNOT HAPPEN

33. WHEN LORD FOWLER ARRIVES.

34. YO, G. WHAT'S MY NAME?

35. THE PRINCE, RIGHT?

36. I KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH ROYALTY.

37. DON'T WORRY. I'LL BE AT THE PEAK

38. OF SCHWEPPERVESCENCE.

39. CHECK IT OUT. YOU BE AN ENGLISH DUDE.

40. VERY WELL.

41. PLEASED TO MEET YOU, WILLIAM.

42. AND I AM HONORED

43. TO MEET YOU, LORD FOWLER.

44. OW!

45. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.

46. AUNT VIVIAN.

47. BEAUTIFUL AMERICAN WOMAN.

48. WHAT YOU TINKING YOU'RE UP TO, BOY?

49. ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. CHECK IT OUT, AUNT VIV.

50. ZIGGY MARLEY'S IN CONCERT NEXT WEEKEND.

51. AND I WAS WONDERING MAYBE I COULD USE THE CAR?

52. WELL, WHERE'S THE CONCERT GONNA BE?

53. JUST AROUND THE CORNER.

54. WHERE AROUND THE CORNER?

55. NEVADA.

56. FORGET IT, BABY.

57. UNCLE PHIL, MON.

58. YOU ARE GENEROUS, FAIR-MINDED,

59. AND VERY, VERY SEXY.

60. WILL, YOU'VE ALREADY GOTTEN YOUR ALLOWANCE.

61. FOR THAT, I AM VERY THANKFUL, MON.

62. HE WANTS TO DRIVE TO SEE ZIGGY MARLEY CONCERT

63. IN NEVADA.

64. OH, THAT'S AN EASY ONE.

65. NO.

66. NOW COOL IT, UNCLE PHIL.

67. WHY NOT?

68. BECAUSE EVERY TIME YOU TAKE THAT CAR TO A CONCERT,

69. SOMETHING HAPPENS TO IT.

70. LIKE WHAT?

71. A MYSTERIOUS DENT, A BROKEN TAILLIGHT,

72. A MURAL OF NIA PEEPLES PAINTED ON THE SIDE.

73. LOOK, I SWEAR TO YOU GUYS

74. THAT WAS ON THE CAR WHEN I GOT IN IT.

75. WILL, YOU'RE NOT RESPONSIBLE ENOUGH

76. TO DRIVE TO A CONCERT IN NEVADA.

77. ALL RIGHT. IF, IN THIS NEXT WEEK,

78. I CAN PROVE TO YOU THAT I'M RESPONSIBLE,

79. WILL YOU LET ME GO?

80. SOUNDS LIKE A LOW-RISK PROPOSITION.

81. YOU'RE ON.

82. THAT'S LORD FOWLER.

83. LORD FOWLER.

84. GEOFFREY.

85. AND LADY PENELOPE.

86. MY, YOU LOOK LOVELY.

87. THANK YOU, GEOFFREY.

88. OH, AND THIS IS MR. AND MRS. BANKS.

89. HOW DO YOU DO?

90. VERY NICE TO MEET YOU.

91. HOW WAS YOUR FLIGHT?

92. OH, IT WAS A BIT CHOPPY AND QUITE LONG.

93. AND, OF COURSE, THE FOOD WAS HORRID.

94. AND, YOU KNOW, THE MOVIE WAS A DREADFUL BORE.

95. I WOULDN'T WANT TO MAKE THAT JOURNEY TOO OFTEN.

96. OH, I SHOULD THINK NOT.

97. WON'T YOU COME IN?

98. PHILIP, WHY ARE YOU TALKING LIKE THAT?

99. LIKE WHAT?

100. THAT RIDICULOUS BRITISH ACCENT.

101. WHENEVER YOU'RE AROUND

102. AN ENGLISH PERSON,

103. YOU SLIP RIGHT INTO IT.

104. THE FIRST THREE MONTHS

105. GEOFFREY WAS HERE,

106. I COULD BARELY UNDERSTAND YOU.

107. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

108. SIR, MADAME. CARE TO JOIN US FOR TEA?

109. RIGHT-O.

110. LADY PENELOPE.

111. WOW. IT MUST BE GREAT BEING A LADY.

112. I MEAN, SPENDING ALL YOUR TIME SHOPPING,

113. GOING TO LUNCH WITH YOUR FRIENDS

114. AND JUST SITTING AROUND

115. BEING WAITED ON HAND AND FOOT.

116. I WONDER WHAT THAT WOULD BE LIKE.

117. ONE CAN ONLY IMAGINE.

118. ACTUALLY, I GO TO A SMALL CONVENT'S SCHOOL

119. AND THE NUN'S WORK IS VERY HARD.

120. WE SCRUB THE FLOORS, COOK THE MEALS,

121. AND ALL THE WEEKENDS, WE DO ALL THE LAUNDRY.

122. EW. WHAT A GYP.

123. WELL, WE'RE LOOKING FORWARD

124. TO TAKING YOU TO DINNER TONIGHT.

125. OH, SPLENDID. DINNER WILL BE

126. A PERFECT TIME FOR ME TO BRING YOU

127. ALL UP TO DATE ON THE NEW BILLS

128. PENDING BEFORE PARLIAMENT.

129. WE'VE MADE SOME FASCINATING STRIDES

130. IN MARITIME LEGISLATION.

131. I'LL GO INTO GREATER DETAILS AT DINNER.

132. IS TONIGHT A SCHOOL NIGHT?

133. NO. I ALREADY THOUGHT OF THAT.

134. MR. AND MRS. BANKS,

135. I HOPE I'M NOT BEING TERRIBLY RUDE,

136. BUT I WAS REALLY COUNTING ON SEEING THE OPERA TONIGHT.

137. OH, BUT MY DEAR,

138. I DON'T WANT YOU GOING OUT ALONE

139. IN A STRANGE CITY.

140. YOU'LL NEED AN ESCORT.

141. AN ESCORT.

142. YOU MEAN A RESPONSIBLE ESCORT.

143. A YOUNG MAN WHO COULD TAKE LADY PENELOPE OUT TONIGHT

144. AND RETURN HER HOME SAFE AND SOUND.

145. THE SAME TYPE OF YOUNG MAN WHO COULD BE TRUSTED

146. TO DRIVE TO A ZIGGY MARLEY CONCERT IN NEVADA.

147. WELL, I SUPPOSE SO.

148. WOULD YOU REALLY TAKE ME, WILL?

149. OH, ABSOLUTELY.

150. IF IT'S ALL RIGHT WITH UNCLE PHIL.

151. OK, WILL. YOU MAY TAKE

152. LADY PENELOPE TO THE OPERA.

153. OPERA? I THOUGHT SHE SAIDOPRAH.

154. SPIDERMAN COMICS,

155. WATCHMAN,

156. GIBBA, GIBBA, GOOBERS,

157. RAISINETS.

158. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

159. UH, PACKING.

160. WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?

161. TO THE OPERA.

162. DID YOU SEE WHAT I DID WITH MY SPITBALL STRAW?

163. NOW, YOU JUST LISTEN TO ME,

164. YOU IRRESPONSIBLE VAGABOND.

165. I WANT YOU

166. ON YOUR BEST BEHAVIOR TONIGHT.

167. NO. LET ME REVISE THAT.

168. I WANT YOU ON A NORMAL PERSON'S

169. BEST BEHAVIOR.

170. OOH, MR. BELVESNEER.

171. YO, G, THE WHOLE POINT OF TONIGHT

172. IS TO PROVE THAT I'M RESPONSIBLE.

173. I MEAN, HOW HARD CAN IT BE?

174. I'LL TAKE HER TO THE OPERA,

175. COP A FEW Zs,

176. BRING HER BACK HOME.

177. THIS WEEKEND I'M WITH ZIGGY.

178. MASTER WILLIAM,

179. I JUST HOPE YOU RECOGNIZE

180. THE SERIOUSNESS OF THE TASK AT HAND.

181. G, WHY ARE YOU TRIPPING?

182. SHE'S JUST A GIRL.

183. JUST A GIRL?

184. MASTER WILLIAM,

185. IF 895 MEMBERS OF THE ROYAL FAMILY

186. INSTANTLY DIED,

187. SHE WOULD BE THE NEXT

188. QUEEN OF ENGLAND.

189. NOW, WHERE DOES THAT PUT ME?

190. BUT THE ASTOUNDING THING

191. ABOUT THE FISHERIES

192. AND HATCHERIES AFTER 1624

193. IS HARDLY THE BILL ITSELF,

194. BUT RATHER ITS UNIQUE PLACE

195. IN THE ENTIRE 800-YEAR HISTORY

196. OF MARITIME LEGISLATION.

197. I'LL GO INTO GREATER DETAIL

198. AT THE RESTAURANT.

199. DOES THIS RESTAURANT HAVE A BAR?

200. IF IT DOESN'T, WE'LL BUILD ONE.

201. I CAN'T BELIEVE

202. GEOFFREY HAS DONE THIS TO US.

203. THIS IS GOING TO BE

204. THE LONGEST NIGHT OF OUR LIVES.

205. THE ONLY THING THAT WILL MAKE IT BETTER

206. IS KNOWING THAT WILL HAS TO SIT THROUGH AN OPERA.

207. AT THIS POINT, THAT'S THE ONLY THING

208. I HAVE TO CLING TO.

209. WELL, I DON'T FEEL SO GOOD.

210. DON'T EVEN TRY IT, ASHLEY.

211. WE'RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER.

212. FATHER, HAVE A LOVELY TIME AT DINNER.

213. MM. THANK YOU, MY DEAR,

214. AND I HOPE YOU ENJOY THE OPERA.

215. OH, I SHALL, FATHER.

216. I ALWAYS FIND THE OPERA SO UPLIFTING.

217. GOOD-BYE, GEOFFREY.

218. GOOD-BYE, LADY PENELOPE.

219. MASTER WILLIAM.

220. DO NOT FORGET WHAT I SAID TO YOU.

221. GOOD-BYE, FATHER DEAR.

222. I SHALL MISS YOU.

223. OH, I THOUGHT THE OLD BUZZARD

224. WOULD NEVER LEAVE. WILL, GOT A SMOKE?

225. EXCUSE ME?

226. A CIGARETTE.

227. I'VE BEEN DYING FOR ONE ALL DAY.

228. NAH, I DON'T HAVE ANY CIGARETTES.

229. I DON'T SMOKE, AND YOU SHOULDN'T EITHER.

230. IT'S BAD FOR YOU.

231. OH, SOD OFF, MOTHER SUPERIOR.

232. HEY, HEY, HEY, DON'T NOBODY CALL ME

233. A MOTHER NOTHING.

234. AND WHAT'S UP WITH YOU?

235. WHO YOU, DR. JEKYLL AND PATTY DUKE?

236. WILL, DON'T BE SUCH A WANKER.

237. I ONLY PUT ON THAT INNOCENT SCHOOLGIRL ROUTINE

238. FOR THE OLD MAN.

239. ROUTINE?

240. YOU'VE BEEN LYING TO THE LORD?

241. WHENEVER WE GO TO THE CITY, I TELL MY FATHER

242. THAT I'M DYING TO GO TO THE OPERA,

243. KNOWING FULL WELL THAT HE DETESTS IT.

244. THAT WAY, I CAN HIT THE CLUBS,

245. AND I THOUGHT WE'D GO DOWNTOWN THE MEAT HOOK.

246. THE MEAT HOOK?

247. THAT'S THE ROUGHEST BAR IN L.A.

248. SUPER. THAT'S WHAT LADY CICELY TOLD ME. LET'S GO.

249. WHOA HO HO HO. WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. BABY,

250. YOU AIN'T GOING NOWHERE.

251. GEOFFREY PUT ME IN CHARGE OF YOU.

252. SO YOU CAN JUST SHAKE YOUR ROYAL BOOTY

253. ON UP THEM STEPS.

254. WILL, YOU CAN'T BOSS ME AROUND.

255. YOU'RE NOT A NUN.

256. SEE, HOLD... HOLD... HOLD IT. SEE,

257. NOW THAT'S WHERE YOU MADE YOUR MISTAKE.

258. SEE, I'M A PLAINCLOTHES NUN.

259. YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.

260. THEY CALL ME SISTER SLEDGE.

261. OH, POOH. I HATE YOU.

262. YOU'VE JUST RUINED MY WHOLE NIGHT.

263. YOU'VE RUINED EVERYTHING.

264. MAN, THIS BABYSITTING THING IS EASY.

265. HEY! LADY, COME BACK WITH MY CAR!

266. UNH! UNH!

267. AH! AH!

268. YO, MAN. SHOULD I GET THE BOUNCER?

269. I AM THE BOUNCER.

270. FOLLOW THE RED QUEEN.

271. KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE RED CARD.

272. 10 WILL GET YOU 20.

273. WHO SAW IT?

274. COME ON, BOYS, DON'T BE SHY.

275. 10 WILL GET YOU 20.

276. AW.

277. WILL. AWFULLY GLAD YOU COULD MAKE IT.

278. FEEL LUCKY? 10 WILL GET YOU 20.

279. OK, LOOK, WE'RE OUT OF HERE.

280. FORGET IT. THIS PLACE IS A BLAST.

281. THE PEOPLE HERE ARE SO INTERESTING.

282. YEAH. I THINK I SAW THAT GUY

283. ON UNSOLVED MYSTERIES.

284. LOOK. LADY PENELOPE,

285. WE ARE GOING HOME.

286. OH, NO, I'M NOT.

287. OH, I'M MAD ABOUT THIS SONG.

288. DANCE WITH ME, WILL.

289. I'M NOT DANCING WITH YOU.

290. LOOSEN UP, HOMES.

291. COME ON. GET UP AND DANCE.

292. SHAKE YOUR MONEYMAKER.

293. LADY PENELOPE,

294. I GOT A ZIGGY MARLEY CONCERT ON THE LINE.

295. LET'S GO.

296. YOU CAN'T TOUCH THIS.

297. GO, LADY!

298. GO, LADY!

299. GO, LADY!

300. GO, LADY!

301. GO, LADY!

302. GO, LADY!

303. WILL YOU GET DOWN FROM HERE?

304. HI, OTIS.

305. HEY, PUNK. YOU'RE DANCING WITH MY WOMAN.

306. NO, NO, YOU GOT IT ALL WRONG.

307. I'M NOT DANCIN' WITH HER.

308. I'M TRYING TO GET HER TO GO HOME WITH ME.

309. I'LL BET YOU ARE.

310. YO, MAN, WHAT ARE YOU, CRAZY?

311. BACK UP!

312. BACK UP!

313. SO THAT BRINGS US UP TO 1907,

314. WHICH IN MARITIME LAW CIRCLES

315. HAS COME TO BE KNOWN

316. AS THE YEAR OF THE TROUT.

317. I SAW THAT SWEATER FIRST.

318. EXCUSE ME.

319. LORD FOWLER.

320. WASN'T THERE QUITE A ROW

321. IN THE HOUSE OF LORDS IN 1912

322. WHEN THEY REPEALED THE TUNA LAWS?

323. OH, GEOFFREY, THAT'S A VERY LONG STORY.

324. IT ALL BEGAN IN 1910.

325. UH, SIR, BEFORE YOU CONTINUE,

326. WOULD ANYONE CARE FOR ANYTHING?

327. A LOBOTOMY.

328. WELL, PERHAPS

329. A DROP OF SHERRY, GEOFFREY.

330. SO, ANYWAY,

331. AS I WAS SAYING,

332. I RECENTLY CAME UPON

333. A VERY INTERESTING ARTICLE

334. ON THE SUBJECT...

335. HOO.

336. HOO.

337. MEOW.

338. MEOW!

339. OOH, OOH OOH OOH, AH AH AH AH AH AH.

340. 1910 BROUGHT A TUNA SHORTAGE

341. TO THE SOUTHERN SHORES OF CORNWALL,

342. PENZANCE IN PARTICULAR.

343. THE VOTE, WHICH SHOULD INTEREST YOU,

344. WAS AS FOLLOWS...

345. D.E. CHESTERTON,

346. YEA,

347. SIR RUDOLF TETHERBURY...

348. MASTER WILLIAM.

349. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

350. WHY AREN'T YOU WITH LADY PENELOPE

351. AT THE OPERA?

352. OPERA? G., SHE'S NEVER SEEN AN OPERA IN HER LIFE.

353. I'M TELLIN' YOU, G., SHE'S BEEN FRONTING THE WHOLE TIME.

354. HOW DARE YOU BESMIRCH

355. THE REPUTATION OF A BRITISH LADY?

356. G., THE LADY IS A TRAMP.

357. G., SHE STOLE THE CAR,

358. SHE SNUCK OUT TO THE ROUGHEST BAR IN TOWN,

359. AND THEN SHE HOOKED UP WITH A HUMAN GODZILLA.

360. MASTER WILLIAM,

361. ARE YOU TELLING ME THE TRUTH?

362. I SWEAR ON A STACK OF TV GUIDES.

363. MASTER WILLIAM, IF WE DON'T

364. BRING HER HOME SAFE AND SOUND,

365. LORD FOWLER WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME.

366. YOUR UNCLE WILL LOSE FAITH IN ME.

367. I'LL NEVER WORK AGAIN,

368. AND MY CAREER WILL BE RUINED.

369. CAN WE TRY TO KEEP THIS IN PERSPECTIVE HERE, G.?

370. I'M NOT GOING TO GET TO SEE ZIGGY.

371. WE MUST GO TO THAT BAR AND BRING HER BACK.

372. TO THE BATMOBILE.

373. SHAME ON LADY PENELOPE.

374. WHEN SHE WAS A LITTLE GIRL,

375. I ALWAYS TOLD HER

376. THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR LYING.

377. MILORD, I'M AFRAID I HAVE SOME BAD NEWS.

378. MY COUSIN RODDY HAS JUST BEEN

379. SUDDENLY STRUCK WITH MALARIA.

380. I MUST GO TO QUARANTINE IMMEDIATELY.

381. YO, G., THIS IS A ROUGH CROWD.

382. YOU GOTTA WATCH

383. WHAT YOU SAY AROUND HERE.

384. WHAT DO YOU MEAN, THANK YOU?

385. YO, G. THAT'S THE GUY

386. THAT LADY P. WAS DANCIN' WITH.

387. BUT WHERE'S LADY PENELOPE?

388. HE COULD BE HIDING HER IN HIS FIST.

389. I SHALL HAVE TO HAVE A WORD WITH HIM.

390. CAREFUL, G.

391. NOT TO WORRY.

392. I KNOW HOW TO HANDLE HIS SORT.

393. AHEM.

394. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH LADY PENELOPE,

395. YOU KNUCKLE-DRAGGING SWINE?

396. SHE'S GONE.

397. GONE?

398. YEAH.

399. SHE BROKE UP WITH ME.

400. WHERE IS SHE?

401. REALLY, I DON'T KNOW.

402. SHE SAID SHE WANTED TO GO FOR A RIDE,

403. SO I TOOK HER TO THE PARK, AND I PUT HER ON MY BIKE,

404. AND THEN I TURNED AROUND TO SPIT,

405. AND THE NEXT THING I KNOW, SHE TOOK OFF ON MY HARLEY.

406. YO, MAN, I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL.

407. HEY, G. WE BETTER KEEP LOOKING.

408. NONSENSE. THE MAN'S A LIAR.

409. TELL US WHAT YOU'VE DONE WITH LADY PENELOPE

410. OR I SHALL BE FORCED TO THRASH YOU.

411. DON'T PRESS HIM, G.

412. YOU SAW WHAT HE DID TO TOKYO.

413. DON'T WORRY, MASTER WILLIAM.

414. IN MY YOUTH,

415. I WAS QUITE A GRECO-ROMAN WRESTLER.

416. YAAH!

417. YAAH! AAH!

418. SO THEN CHURCHILL SAID TO THE KING,

419. "YOU'RE UGLY."

420. TO WHICH THE KING REPLIED,

421. "AND YOU, SIR, ARE FAT."

422. OH.

423. OR WAS IT THE OTHER WAY ROUND?

424. ANYHOW, THEY WENT ON LIKE THAT FOR HOURS.

425. ARE YOU SURE THERE ISN'T

426. ANY MORE SHERRY?

427. ANYWAY, THIS DISPUTE TOOK PLACE

428. AT THE HEIGHT OF THE FLOUNDER REBELLION.

429. MOMMY.

430. OH, GOD BLESS YOU, SWEETHEART.

431. WHAT'S THE MATTER, BABY?

432. I CAN'T SLEEP.

433. JUST SIT AROUND HERE FOR A LITTLE WHILE.

434. I'LL TAKE YOU UP, BABY.

435. YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE, WOMAN.

436. SORRY, MOMMY. I TRIED.

437. TRY AGAIN IN 10 MINUTES.

438. NOW, WHERE WAS I?

439. OH, GOD, IF YOU DON'T KNOW,

440. I HAVE NO IDEA.

441. G., HOW ARE WE GOING TO TELL LORD FOWLER

442. WE LOST HIS DAUGHTER?

443. I'LL BREAK THE NEWS, MASTER WILLIAM.

444. YOU'RE YOUNG.

445. YOU HAVE YOUR WHOLE LIFE AHEAD OF YOU.

446. IT'S BEST I BEAR THE BRUNT

447. OF THE PUNISHMENT.

448. YOU GOT A POINT THERE. GOOD LUCK.

449. GEOFFREY, HOW'S YOUR COUSIN RODDY?

450. I REGRET TO TELL YOU,

451. I HAVE NO COUSIN RODDY.

452. DAMN MALARIA.

453. NO. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

454. WHAT I'M ABOUT TO TELL YOU

455. IS VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY.

456. OH, GEOFFREY, IT'S NOT MORE GAMBLING DEBTS, IS IT?

457. I THOUGHT WE HAD THAT PRODUCTIVE CHAT.

458. SIR, IT ISN'T THAT.

459. IT'S ABOUT THIS EVENING.

460. AND I HAVE TO ACCEPT FULL RESPONSIBILITY.

461. YO, G., HOLD UP.

462. I CAN'T LET YOU GO OUT LIKE THIS.

463. THIS IS ALL MY FAULT.

464. WILL, WHY AREN'T YOU AT THE OPERA

465. WITH LADY PENELOPE?

466. ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. TONIGHT,

467. MY PLAN WAS TO TAKE HER TO THE OPERA

468. AND RETURN HER HOME SAFE AND SOUND.

469. BUT LADY PENELOPE HAD OTHER PLANS,

470. AND IT JUST DIDN'T WORK OUT LIKE THAT.

471. HELLO, ALL. I HAD A SMASHING TIME TONIGHT.

472. AH, MY DEAR, HOW WAS THE OPERA?

473. OH, IT WAS THE MOST WONDERFUL OPERA

474. I'VE EVER SEEN.

475. WELL, WHY WASN'T WILL WITH YOU?

476. OH, BUT HE WAS,

477. AND HE WAS THE PERFECT ESCORT.

478. BUT AROUND THE THIRD ACT,

479. I COULD SEE WILL WAS STARTING TO FADE.

480. SO I TOLD THE POOR DEAR TO GO ON HOME.

481. HE LEFT ME WITH MORE

482. THAN ENOUGH CAB FARE.

483. THANK YOU SO MUCH, WILL.

484. YOU'RE GOOD.

485. SO WHAT'S ALL THE FUSS ABOUT?

486. WILL MADE IT UP TO THE THIRD ACT,

487. WHICH IS MORE THAN I COULD HAVE DONE.

488. AN EVENING OF OPERA.

489. I CAN'T IMAGINE ANYTHING MORE BORING.

490. I CAN.

491. GEOFFREY, I'M SURPRISED AT YOU,

492. GETTING ALL HOT AND BOTHERED

493. JUST BECAUSE THE BOY DUCKED OUT A BIT EARLY.

494. IT'S NOTHING COMPARED WITH YOUR OLD EXPLOITS.

495. THERE'S NO NEED TO GO INTO THAT, MILORD.

496. I SEEM TO RECALL A TIME

497. THAT YOU WERE CAUGHT IN THE GAZEBO

498. AFTER THAT RANDY GAME OF STRIP CROQUET.

499. BUT, UM, I'VE TOLD ENOUGH STORIES FOR ONE EVENING.

500. NO, NO. I WANT TO HEAR THIS ONE.

501. NO, NO. IT'S LATE.

502. PERHAPS NEXT VISIT.

503. NO. NOW WE'VE EARNED IT.

504. NO.

505. NO. I'M SORRY.

506. YOU KNOW, THAT'S THE MARK OF A GREAT STORYTELLER...

507. ALWAYS LEAVE THEM WANTING MORE.

508. GOOD NIGHT, GEOFFREY.

509. NIGHT NIGHT, WILL.

510. NEXT TIME I'M IN TOWN,

511. WE'LL HAVE TO GO TO THE BALLET.

512. YEAH. I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT.

513. WELL, WILL, YOU CERTAINLY PROVED

514. THAT YOU'RE RESPONSIBLE.

515. THAT'S RIGHT.

516. MM-HMM. YOU TOOK LADY PENELOPE OUT

517. AND YOU BROUGHT HER BACK WITHOUT A HAIR OUT OF PLACE

518. JUST LIKE YOU PROMISED.

519. YEP. JUST LIKE I PROMISED.

520. SO I GUESS YOU CAN USE THE CAR NEXT WEEKEND AFTER ALL.

521. THANKS A LOT, UNCLE PHIL.

522. JUST ONE THING, WILL,

523. OUT OF CURIOSITY.

524. SINCE THAT EXPLANATION

525. THAT LADY PENELOPE RATTLED OFF

526. WAS OBVIOUSLY A COMPLETE CROCK,

527. WHAT REALLY DID HAPPEN TONIGHT?

528. WELL...

529. YOU SHOULD SIT DOWN.

530. IT'S GOING TO BE

531. A LONG STORY, UNCLE PHIL.

532. OH, NO. NO, NO, NO. NEVER MIND.

533. ENJOY THE CONCERT.

534. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.

535. CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE www.ncicap.org...