1. 163?
Copy !req
2. Oh, this whole page
is wrong.
Copy !req
3. Geoffrey.
Copy !req
4. Miss Ashley,
I'm trying to keep
this place tidy.
Copy !req
5. Lord Fowler
and his daughter
lady Penelope,
Copy !req
6. will be here soon.
Copy !req
7. Why are you nervous?
Copy !req
8. Lord Fowler gave me
my first job
Copy !req
9. as a full-fledged
Butler.
Copy !req
10. And he's very
important in britain.
Copy !req
11. Oh. Well, I wouldn't
want to embarrass you.
Copy !req
12. British people have
really good manners.
Copy !req
13. I used to
be intimidated
by the British.
Copy !req
14. I thought
they were superior
Copy !req
15. in taste, style,
and breeding.
Copy !req
16. Then I saw
Benny hill.
Copy !req
17. Master Carlton.
Copy !req
18. First of all,
Copy !req
19. I like Benny hill.
Copy !req
20. Secondly,
while lord Fowler
is here,
Copy !req
21. keep wisecracks
like that to yourself.
Copy !req
22. During his stay,
Copy !req
23. I want all
of you children
Copy !req
24. to maintain an air
of quiet dignity.
Copy !req
25. Geoffrey, mon.
Copy !req
26. Do da limbo with me.
Copy !req
27. This is precisely
what cannot happen
Copy !req
28. when lord Fowler
arrives.
Copy !req
29. Yo, g.
What's my name?
Copy !req
30. The prince, right?
Copy !req
31. I know how to deal
with royalty.
Copy !req
32. Don't worry. I'll be
at the peak of
schweppervescence.
Copy !req
33. You be
the English dude.
Copy !req
34. Very well.
Copy !req
35. Please to meet you,
William.
Copy !req
36. And I am honored
to meet you,
lord Fowler.
Copy !req
37. Ow!
Copy !req
38. aunt Vivian.
Copy !req
39. Beautiful
American woman.
Copy !req
40. What you tinkin'
you're up to, boy?
Copy !req
41. Check it out, aunt viv.
Copy !req
42. Ziggy Marley's
in concert next weekend.
Copy !req
43. Can I use the car?
Copy !req
44. Where's the concert?
Copy !req
45. Just around
the corner.
Copy !req
46. Where?
Copy !req
47. Nevada.
Copy !req
48. Forget it, baby.
Copy !req
49. Uncle Phil, mon.
Copy !req
50. You are generous,
fair-minded,
Copy !req
51. and very, very sexy.
Copy !req
52. Will, you have
your allowance.
Copy !req
53. For that,
I am very thankful.
Copy !req
54. He wants to drive
to see Ziggy Marley
Copy !req
55. in Nevada.
Copy !req
56. That's an easy one.
Copy !req
57. No.
Copy !req
58. Why not?
Copy !req
59. When you take that car
to a concert,
Copy !req
60. something
happens to it.
Copy !req
61. Like what?
Copy !req
62. A mysterious dent,
a broken taillight,
Copy !req
63. a mural of nia peeples
painted on the side.
Copy !req
64. I swear,
that was there
when I got in it.
Copy !req
65. You're not
responsible enough
Copy !req
66. to drive to Nevada.
Copy !req
67. If I can
prove to you
I'm responsible,
Copy !req
68. can I go?
Copy !req
69. Sounds like
a low-risk proposition.
Copy !req
70. You're on.
Copy !req
71. That's lord Fowler.
Copy !req
72. Lord Fowler.
Copy !req
73. Geoffrey.
Copy !req
74. And lady Penelope.
Copy !req
75. My, you look lovely.
Copy !req
76. Thank you, Geoffrey.
Copy !req
77. And this is
Mr. And Mrs. Banks.
Copy !req
78. Very nice
to meet you.
Copy !req
79. How was your flight?
Copy !req
80. Choppy
and quite long.
Copy !req
81. The food was horrid.
Copy !req
82. The movie was
a dreadful bore.
Copy !req
83. I wouldn't want to make
that journey too often.
Copy !req
84. No, I should think not.
Copy !req
85. Won't you come in?
Copy !req
86. Philip, why are you
talking like that?
Copy !req
87. Like what?
Copy !req
88. That ridiculous
British accent.
Copy !req
89. Whenever
you're around
an English person,
Copy !req
90. you slip
right into it.
Copy !req
91. The first
three months
Geoffrey was here,
Copy !req
92. I could barely
understand you.
Copy !req
93. What are you
talking about?
Copy !req
94. Sir, madam.
Care to join us for tea?
Copy !req
95. Right-o.
Copy !req
96. Lady Penelope.
Copy !req
97. Wow. It must be
great being a lady.
Copy !req
98. Spending all
your time shopping,
Copy !req
99. sitting around
being waited on
hand and foot.
Copy !req
100. I wonder what that
would be like.
Copy !req
101. One can only imagine.
Copy !req
102. Actually, I go to
a small convent school.
Copy !req
103. The nuns work us hard.
Copy !req
104. We scrub the floors
and cook the meals.
Copy !req
105. Ew. What a gyp.
Copy !req
106. We're looking forward
to taking you to dinner.
Copy !req
107. Splendid. At dinner,
I can tell you
Copy !req
108. about the new
bills pending
before parliament.
Copy !req
109. We've made some
fascinating strides
Copy !req
110. in maritime
legislation.
Copy !req
111. I'll go into
greater details
at dinner.
Copy !req
112. Is tonight
a school night?
Copy !req
113. No. I already
thought of that.
Copy !req
114. I hope I'm not
being terribly rude,
Copy !req
115. but I wanted to see
the opera tonight.
Copy !req
116. I don't want you
out alone
Copy !req
117. in a strange city.
Copy !req
118. You'll need
an escort.
Copy !req
119. An escort.
Copy !req
120. You mean
a responsible escort.
Copy !req
121. A young man
who could take
lady Penelope out tonight
Copy !req
122. and return her home
safe and sound.
Copy !req
123. The same young man
who could be trusted
Copy !req
124. to drive to
a Ziggy Marley concert
in Nevada.
Copy !req
125. Well, I suppose so.
Copy !req
126. Would you really
take me, will?
Copy !req
127. Oh, absolutely.
Copy !req
128. If it's all right
with Uncle Phil.
Copy !req
129. O.K., will.
Copy !req
130. Take lady Penelope
to the opera.
Copy !req
131. Opera? I thought
she said Oprah.
Copy !req
132. Spiderman comics,
Copy !req
133. watchman,
Copy !req
134. gibba, gibba, goobers,
Copy !req
135. raisinets.
Copy !req
136. What are you doing?
Copy !req
137. Uh, packing.
Copy !req
138. Where do you think
you're going?
Copy !req
139. To the opera.
Copy !req
140. What did I do
with my spitball straw?
Copy !req
141. Now, you just
listen to me,
Copy !req
142. you irresponsible
vagabond.
Copy !req
143. I want you
on your best
behavior tonight.
Copy !req
144. No. Let me
revise that.
Copy !req
145. I want you
on a normal person's
best behavior.
Copy !req
146. Ooh, Mr. Belve-sneer.
Copy !req
147. The whole point
Copy !req
148. is to prove
that I'm responsible.
Copy !req
149. It can't be hard.
Copy !req
150. I'll take her
to the opera,
Copy !req
151. cop a few zs,
Copy !req
152. bring her back home.
Copy !req
153. This weekend
I'm with Ziggy.
Copy !req
154. I just hope
you recognize
Copy !req
155. the seriousness
of the task at hand.
Copy !req
156. Why are you tripping?
Copy !req
157. She's just a girl.
Copy !req
158. Just a girl?
Copy !req
159. Master William,
Copy !req
160. if 895 members
of the royal family
instantly died,
Copy !req
161. she would be
the next queen
of england.
Copy !req
162. Now, where
does that put me?
Copy !req
163. Father,
have a lovely time.
Copy !req
164. Thank you, my dear.
Copy !req
165. Enjoy the opera.
Copy !req
166. I shall.
Copy !req
167. I always find
the opera so uplifting.
Copy !req
168. Goodbye, Geoffrey.
Copy !req
169. Goodbye,
lady Penelope.
Copy !req
170. Master William.
Copy !req
171. Remember
what I said.
Copy !req
172. Goodbye, father dear.
Copy !req
173. I shall miss you.
Copy !req
174. I thought
the old buzzard
would never leave.
Copy !req
175. Will, got a smoke?
Copy !req
176. Excuse me?
Copy !req
177. I've been dying
for a cigarette
all day.
Copy !req
178. Nah, I don't have
any cigarettes.
Copy !req
179. You shouldn't smoke.
Copy !req
180. It's bad for you.
Copy !req
181. Oh, sod off,
mother superior.
Copy !req
182. Hey, don't
nobody call me
a mother nothin'.
Copy !req
183. What's up with you?
Copy !req
184. Who you, Dr. Jekyll
and Patty Duke?
Copy !req
185. Will, don't be
such a wanker.
Copy !req
186. I only put on
that innocent
schoolgirl routine
Copy !req
187. for the old man.
Copy !req
188. Routine?
Copy !req
189. You've been lying
to the lord?
Copy !req
190. I always say
I want to go
to the opera,
Copy !req
191. knowing
he detests it.
Copy !req
192. Then I hit the clubs.
Copy !req
193. How about
the meat hook?
Copy !req
194. The meat hook?
Copy !req
195. That's the roughest
bar in L.A.
Copy !req
196. That's what lady cecily
said. Let's go.
Copy !req
197. Wait. Wait. Baby,
you ain't going nowhere.
Copy !req
198. Geoffrey put me
in charge of you.
Copy !req
199. So shake your royal
Booty up them steps.
Copy !req
200. You can't
boss me around.
Copy !req
201. You're not a nun.
Copy !req
202. Hold it. See,
that's where you
made your mistake.
Copy !req
203. See, I'm
a plainclothes nun.
Copy !req
204. Yeah, that's right. They call me
sister sledge.
Copy !req
205. Oh, pooh.
I hate you.
Copy !req
206. You've just ruined
my whole night.
Copy !req
207. You've ruined everything.
Copy !req
208. Man, this babysitting
thing is easy.
Copy !req
209. Hey! Lady,
come back with my car!
Copy !req
210. Uh!
Copy !req
211. Ah!
Copy !req
212. Yo, man. Should I get
the bouncer?
Copy !req
213. I am the bouncer.
Copy !req
214. Keep your eyes
on the red queen.
Copy !req
215. 10 will get you 20.
Copy !req
216. Who saw it?
Copy !req
217. Don't be shy.
Copy !req
218. 10 will get you 20.
Copy !req
219. Aw.
Copy !req
220. Will. Awfully glad
you could make it.
Copy !req
221. Feel lucky?
10 will get you 20.
Copy !req
222. No way.
We're out of here.
Copy !req
223. Forget it.
Copy !req
224. The people here
are so interesting.
Copy !req
225. Yeah. I think
I saw that guy
on unsolved mysteries.
Copy !req
226. Look. Lady Penelope,
Copy !req
227. we are going home.
Copy !req
228. Oh, no, I'm not.
Copy !req
229. Oh, I'm mad
about this song.
Copy !req
230. Dance with me, will.
Copy !req
231. I'm not dancing
with you.
Copy !req
232. Loosen up, homes.
Copy !req
233. Come on.
Get up and dance.
Copy !req
234. Shake
your moneymaker.
Copy !req
235. I got a Ziggy Marley
concert on the line.
Copy !req
236. Let's go.
Copy !req
237. You can't touch this.
Copy !req
238. Go, lady!
Copy !req
239. Go, lady!
Copy !req
240. Go, lady!
Copy !req
241. Go, lady!
Copy !req
242. Go, lady!
Copy !req
243. Go, lady!
Copy !req
244. Get down from here.
Copy !req
245. Hi, Otis.
Copy !req
246. Hey, punk.
You're dancing
with my woman.
Copy !req
247. You got it all wrong.
Copy !req
248. I'm trying to get her
to go home with me.
Copy !req
249. I'll bet you are.
Copy !req
250. Man, what are you,
crazy?
Copy !req
251. Back up!
Copy !req
252. Back up!
Copy !req
253. So that brings us up
to 1907,
Copy !req
254. which in maritime
law circles
Copy !req
255. has come to be known
Copy !req
256. as the year
of the trout.
Copy !req
257. I saw that sweater first.
Copy !req
258. Excuse me.
Copy !req
259. Lord Fowler.
Copy !req
260. Wasn't there
quite a row
Copy !req
261. in the house of lords
in 1912
Copy !req
262. when they repealed
the tuna laws?
Copy !req
263. Geoffrey, that's
a very long story.
Copy !req
264. It all began
in 1910.
Copy !req
265. Sir, before
you continue,
Copy !req
266. would anyone
care for anything?
Copy !req
267. A lobotomy.
Copy !req
268. Well, perhaps
a drop of Sherry,
Geoffrey.
Copy !req
269. So, anyway,
Copy !req
270. as I was saying,
Copy !req
271. I recently came upon
Copy !req
272. a very
interesting article
on the subject...
Copy !req
273. Hoo.
Copy !req
274. Hoo.
Copy !req
275. Meow.
Copy !req
276. Me-ow!
Copy !req
277. Ooh, ooh ooh ooh,
ah ah ah ah ah ah.
Copy !req
278. 1910 brought
a tuna shortage
Copy !req
279. to the Southern
shores of cornwall,
Copy !req
280. penzance
in particular.
Copy !req
281. The vote, which
should interest you,
Copy !req
282. was as follows—
Copy !req
283. d.E. Chesterton,
Copy !req
284. yea,
Copy !req
285. sir Rudolf
tetherbury...
Copy !req
286. Master William.
Copy !req
287. What are you
doing here?
Copy !req
288. Why aren't you
with lady Penelope
at the opera?
Copy !req
289. Opera? G., she's never
seen an opera before.
Copy !req
290. She's been fronting
the whole time.
Copy !req
291. How dare
you besmirch
Copy !req
292. a British lady's
reputation.
Copy !req
293. G., the lady
is a tramp.
Copy !req
294. She stole the car,
Copy !req
295. she snuck out
to the roughest
bar in town,
Copy !req
296. then she hooked up
with a human Godzilla.
Copy !req
297. Master William,
are you telling me
the truth?
Copy !req
298. I swear on
a stack of TV guides.
Copy !req
299. If we don't
bring her home
safe and sound,
Copy !req
300. lord Fowler will
never forgive me.
Copy !req
301. Your Uncle will
lose faith in me.
Copy !req
302. I'll never
work again,
Copy !req
303. and my career
will be ruined.
Copy !req
304. Can we try
to keep this
in perspective, g.?
Copy !req
305. I'm not going
to get to see Ziggy.
Copy !req
306. We must go to
that bar and get her.
Copy !req
307. To the Batmobile.
Copy !req
308. Shame on
lady Penelope.
Copy !req
309. When she was
a little girl,
Copy !req
310. I always told her
there is no excuse
for lying.
Copy !req
311. Milord, I'm afraid
I have some bad news.
Copy !req
312. My cousin roddy has
just been suddenly
struck with malaria.
Copy !req
313. I must go to quarantine
immediately.
Copy !req
314. Yo, g., this is
a rough crowd.
Copy !req
315. Watch what
you say here.
Copy !req
316. What do you mean,
thank you?
Copy !req
317. G.
Copy !req
318. Lady p.
Was with him.
Copy !req
319. But where's
lady Penelope?
Copy !req
320. He could be hiding
her in his fist.
Copy !req
321. I shall have to
have a word with him.
Copy !req
322. Careful, g.
Copy !req
323. Not to worry. I know how
to handle his sort.
Copy !req
324. Ahem.
Copy !req
325. What have you done
with lady Penelope,
Copy !req
326. you knuckle-dragging
swine?
Copy !req
327. She's gone.
Copy !req
328. Gone?
Copy !req
329. Yeah.
Copy !req
330. She broke up with me.
Copy !req
331. Where is she?
Copy !req
332. Really, I don't know.
Copy !req
333. She said she wanted
to go for a ride,
Copy !req
334. so I put her
on my bike.
Copy !req
335. I turned around
to spit,
Copy !req
336. and then she took off
on my harley.
Copy !req
337. Man, I know
how you feel.
Copy !req
338. We better
keep looking.
Copy !req
339. Nonsense.
The man's a liar.
Copy !req
340. Tell us what
you've done
with lady Penelope,
Copy !req
341. or I shall be forced
to thrash you.
Copy !req
342. Don't
press him, g.
Copy !req
343. You saw what
he did to Tokyo.
Copy !req
344. Don't worry,
master William.
Copy !req
345. In my youth,
Copy !req
346. I was quite
a greco-Roman wrestler.
Copy !req
347. Yaah!
Copy !req
348. Yaah!
Aah!
Copy !req
349. G., how are we going
to tell lord Fowler
Copy !req
350. we lost his daughter?
Copy !req
351. I'll break the news,
master William.
Copy !req
352. You're young.
Copy !req
353. You have your whole
life ahead of you.
Copy !req
354. It's best
I bear the brunt
of the punishment.
Copy !req
355. You got a point there.
Good luck.
Copy !req
356. Geoffrey,
how's your cousin?
Copy !req
357. I regret
to tell you,
Copy !req
358. I have
no cousin roddy.
Copy !req
359. Damn malaria.
Copy !req
360. No. You don't
understand.
Copy !req
361. What I'm about
to tell you
Copy !req
362. is very difficult
to say.
Copy !req
363. Oh, Geoffrey,
it's not more
gambling debts, is it?
Copy !req
364. I thought we had
that productive chat.
Copy !req
365. Sir, it isn't that.
Copy !req
366. It's about
this evening.
Copy !req
367. And I have to accept
full responsibility.
Copy !req
368. G., I can't
let you go
out like this.
Copy !req
369. This is
all my fault.
Copy !req
370. Why aren't you
at the opera
with lady Penelope?
Copy !req
371. My plan was to take
her to the opera
Copy !req
372. and return her home
safe and sound.
Copy !req
373. But lady Penelope
had other plans.
Copy !req
374. Hello, all. I had
a smashing time tonight.
Copy !req
375. How was the opera?
Copy !req
376. It was the most
wonderful opera
I've seen.
Copy !req
377. Why wasn't
will there?
Copy !req
378. Oh, but he was.
Copy !req
379. He was
the perfect escort.
Copy !req
380. Around
the third act,
Copy !req
381. will was fading,
so I let him go.
Copy !req
382. He left me with
enough cab fare.
Copy !req
383. Thank you so much,
will.
Copy !req
384. You're good.
Copy !req
385. What's all
the fuss about?
Copy !req
386. Will made it up
to the third act,
Copy !req
387. which is more
than I could have done.
Copy !req
388. Opera. I can't imagine
anything more boring.
Copy !req
389. I can.
Copy !req
390. Geoffrey,
I'm surprised at you,
Copy !req
391. getting all
hot and bothered
Copy !req
392. just because the boy
ducked out early.
Copy !req
393. It's nothing compared
with your old exploits.
Copy !req
394. There's
no need to go
into that, milord.
Copy !req
395. You were once
caught in the gazebo
Copy !req
396. after that Randy game
of strip croquet.
Copy !req
397. But I've told
enough stories
for one evening.
Copy !req
398. No, no. I want
to hear this one.
Copy !req
399. No, no. It's late.
Copy !req
400. Perhaps next visit.
Copy !req
401. No. Now.
We've earned it.
Copy !req
402. No.
Copy !req
403. No. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
404. That's the mark
of a great storyteller—
Copy !req
405. always leave them
wanting more.
Copy !req
406. Good night,
Geoffrey.
Copy !req
407. Night-night, will.
Copy !req
408. Next time
I'm in town,
Copy !req
409. we'll have to go
to the ballet.
Copy !req
410. Yeah. I'm looking
forward to that.
Copy !req
411. Well, will,
you certainly proved
that you're responsible.
Copy !req
412. That's right.
Copy !req
413. You took
lady Penelope out,
Copy !req
414. and you
brought her back
just like you promised.
Copy !req
415. Yep. Just like
I promised.
Copy !req
416. So you can use
the car next weekend.
Copy !req
417. Thanks a lot,
Uncle Phil.
Copy !req
418. Just one thing, will,
Copy !req
419. out of curiosity.
Copy !req
420. Since that explanation
that lady Penelope
rattled off
Copy !req
421. was obviously
a complete crock,
Copy !req
422. what really
did happen tonight?
Copy !req
423. Well...
Copy !req
424. You should sit down.
Copy !req
425. It's going to be
a long story.
Copy !req
426. Oh, no. No, no, no.
Never mind.
Copy !req
427. Enjoy the concert.
Copy !req