The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air: Season 1, Episode 17

Directed by Jeff Melman

Michael Weiner as Kellogg Lieberbaum • Michael Landes as Chadney Hunt • Dave Florek as Coach Smiley • Keith Bogart as Jonathan Cartwell • Edward Edwards as Assistant Headmaster Armstrong

Will proposes a black history class be instituted at Bel-Air Academy, and gets a surprise when Aunt Viv arrives to teach it.

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1. It's perfect for granny's visit.

2. We enter here, pass the llamas and giraffes,

3. look at the monkey house,

4. and end on the Ferris wheel.

5. For the last time,

6. we are not breaking in to Michael Jackson's house.

7. Man, what's up?

8. We're getting grandma at the airport.

9. She won't want to hear that garbage.

10. You don't like the music

11. because you can't dance.

12. Oh, really?

13. In your face.

14. so I did get an "a" in English,

15. and the a-minus was in math.

16. What a crazy week.

17. That takes us to spring quarter.

18. That's when I—

19. worked hard, got good grades,

20. made the honor roll, the end.

21. Hey, granny!

22. Oh, sugar.

23. Will, as handsome as ever.

24. Grandma, as generous as ever.

25. Granny,

26. notice how Carlton's grown?

27. He's almost into adult sizes.

28. Congratulations, dear.

29. I've been looking through the guide books.

30. I found an attraction

31. with your name all over it.

32. What's that?

33. Raging waters.

34. Will,

35. are you insane?

36. It's too late to be asking.

37. Grandma's here to rest.

38. She's getting over the flu.

39. It was a cold.

40. What did the doctor say?

41. Us country folks don't run to the doctor

42. at every sneeze, sniffle, or broken bone.

43. We are not the spendthrifts you are, Zeke.

44. Zeke.

45. That one always kills me.

46. Granny, I love when you visit.

47. Did you bring the picture

48. of him and the goat?

49. Never leave home without it.

50. Yes, sir, I'll get a frame for this one.

51. Hattie.

52. Hello!

53. Honey, you are younger and prettier

54. every time I see you.

55. Will you look at you two?

56. You could enter a beauty contest.

57. Oh, grandma.

58. Really?

59. I never gave it much thought.

60. For the talent portion you could twirl a checkbook.

61. Grandma, will we do some more crafts

62. while you're here?

63. Well, we sure are.

64. Geoffrey!

65. Yes, madam?

66. Ashley and I will be doing some art.

67. We'll need 50 Popsicle sticks,

68. two bags of macaroni wheels,

69. and lots and lots of glitter.

70. I'm way ahead of you.

71. In anticipation of your visit,

72. I've saved two dozen egg cartons.

73. Thank you, Geoffrey,

74. but we won't be making purses this time.

75. Speaking of art,

76. I thought we could go to the museum.

77. They have a display on 100-year-old quilts.

78. I got one of them in my truck.

79. I know what's perfect for grandma—

80. a day of beauty,

81. where the salon does your hair and makeup.

82. You come out looking fabulous.

83. I don't think she'd be interested.

84. I know we have plans for grandma,

85. but let her relax first.

86. Sweetie, I feel fine.

87. Maybe so, but I want you to take it easy.

88. Your are not to lift a finger.

89. We'll treat you like a queen.

90. You said the magic word.

91. Excuse me.

92. Did I just win the Kentucky derby?

93. I was instructed to keep you warm at all time

94. why don't you just light me on fire?

95. I'm already hotter than a dog in a wool wagon.

96. Now get!

97. The getting is good, madam.

98. Hey, granny, what you doing?

99. Nothing much, I'm afraid.

100. Your Uncle gave me this book of find-the-word puzzles.

101. So I found all the words.

102. Now what do I do with them?

103. You shouldn't be sitting here.

104. You should do something you like doing,

105. like, I don't know,

106. baking me a sweet potato pie.

107. Baby, much as I'd like to,

108. I think your Uncle wants me to stay put.

109. Now that's your first mistake.

110. He tells me all kinds of stuff to do,

111. and I never listen.

112. And I'm a better person for it.

113. How come you're sitting around?

114. Don't you have plans?

115. No, not really.

116. You got to have a girl.

117. Oh, no kidding.

118. There's no one that gets your sap rising?

119. There's this girl named Tanya.

120. I met her at the mall.

121. She works in a fancy men's store,

122. where even underwear comes from Europe.

123. I don't know if she'd date anybody in local drawers.

124. Sets to mind a heifer we once had.

125. You ain't seen Tanya.

126. You listen up.

127. Petunia had two bulls liking her—

128. one a big, strong Angus

129. with a chest as wide as a Chevy.

130. That one's me, right?

131. The other one was a slim, handsome Jersey,

132. a real lady's bull.

133. Ah, that one's me, right?

134. All season long,

135. Petunia just couldn't decide.

136. So come fall,

137. she ups and picks the Angus.

138. See?

139. No.

140. By then, breeding season was over.

141. Maybe if you changed it to cats or something.

142. Now, everybody be quiet.

143. Grandma's probably sleeping.

144. She's going to love my gift.

145. I didn't know Leonard nimoy even sang.

146. That was very thoughtful, Carlton.

147. Thank you.

148. I smell something funny.

149. It smells like pine.

150. I smell it, too.

151. I thinks it's coming from in the kitchen.

152. What is that smell?

153. Watch your step.

154. The floor is wet.

155. Mother, what are you doing?

156. Picking apples from a cherry tree.

157. What does it look like I'm doing?

158. I'm giving your floor a good hand-scrubbing.

159. That's Geoffrey's job.

160. No, it ain't.

161. I have begun the mulch pile, madam.

162. Fine, I'll be out to look

163. after I flip the mattresses.

164. Hold on, mama.

165. Geoffrey?

166. Sorry, sir.

167. She threatened me with a whupping.

168. Seems like you're back to your old self.

169. I have an idea.

170. I know how proud you are of your azaleas.

171. Let's go to the botanical garden and see theirs.

172. I'll get my sweater.

173. Why? You cold?

174. Geoffrey, turn up the heat.

175. I already set the thermostat on 80

176. as you requested.

177. The candles are starting to melt.

178. I just wanted my sweater

179. 'cause we're going to the gardens.

180. We'll go later this week.

181. Get settled in first.

182. I'm more settled than a big ol' box of raisin bran.

183. Mama, don't excite yourself.

184. Is there anything I can get for you?

185. A magazine?

186. Or a game.

187. Or some moisturizer.

188. I have an idea.

189. Let's all take a dip in the pool.

190. Sounds good.

191. That way we can let mama take a nap.

192. I want to swim, too.

193. You shouldn't swim when getting over the flu.

194. We'll see you after your nap.

195. Nap!

196. Why don't they put me in a playpen?

197. Yo, d.J. Granny.

198. Hey, what's going on?

199. Nothing.

200. And your Uncle aims to keep it that way.

201. I know he means well,

202. but a body has to feel useful.

203. Useful?

204. You know that girlie advice you gave me?

205. Worked like a charm.

206. Really?

207. I don't remember exactly,

208. but I walked up to her and said,

209. "bulls and cows should get together

210. before it starts snowing."

211. And she understood that?

212. Well, no, but she likes my hair.

213. We're going out on her first night off.

214. Oh, that's fine.

215. But I don't have a date for the concert tonight.

216. Who's playing?

217. Heavy d.

218. Oh, I love him.

219. You do?

220. Who doesn't like Charlie Daniels?

221. This is another heavy d, granny.

222. Maybe if I play this for you. Check it out.

223. Not bad.

224. Can't understand what he's saying,

225. but it does have a beat.

226. What kind of dance you do to this?

227. Trust me on this.

228. It's complicated.

229. It takes a lot of dedication to learn.

230. Honey, I ain't got that kind of time.

231. You're getting there. You're getting there.

232. This kind of dancing works up quite an appetite.

233. What say I make us some flapjacks?

234. Granny, will you marry me?

235. Oh, sweet talker!

236. Ooh, this is the good part.

237. I'll turn up the victrola.

238. Yeah!

239. Whoo-hoo!

240. Go, granny.

241. Go, granny.

242. What's going on in here?

243. Mama, are you all right?

244. Of course. Take your hands off of me.

245. Will, why are you playing that music?

246. Grandma's supposed to be resting.

247. You're grounded.

248. Grounded? I just played some music.

249. Sounds like a no dessert offense, isn't it?

250. You heard what I said.

251. All right. I got back stage passes to heavy d concert.

252. You said rap music is awful.

253. Let's say we make that my punishment.

254. Please don't make me go.

255. Nice try, will.

256. Don't get so worked up.

257. I was just having fun.

258. A woman your age should not be dancing around.

259. Boy, don't you tell me what to do.

260. I'm sorry. I'm trying to look out for you.

261. Will, no more horsing around.

262. Will, no more horsing around.

263. That boy is about as much fun as day-old oatmeal.

264. I noticed that.

265. Granny, since we're both grounded,

266. want to go upstairs, slam our bedroom doors,

267. and throw things?

268. A woman my age shouldn't be dancing.

269. We'll see about that.

270. Spoiling my fun.

271. Yours?

272. I can't believe I'm not going to that concert.

273. You are going to that concert.

274. I am?

275. That's right.

276. With me.

277. But Uncle Phil won't let us.

278. Uncle Phil won't see us.

279. Oooh...

280. Sneaking out? You?

281. Honey, you are looking at a woman

282. who has snuck out to more barn dances,

283. hayrides,

284. and midnight skinny dips

285. than a chicken has pecks.

286. Yo, well, yee-hah!

287. All right!

288. Hattie, looks like you've got plans.

289. Oh, yeah.

290. Got some extra pillows.

291. I like to turn in early at my age.

292. Would you like hot chocolate?

293. Lord, no!

294. Don't need the stimulation.

295. Well, good night.

296. Good night, honey.

297. That was close.

298. But I was cool.

299. Good work, 0070.

300. Now here's the plan.

301. The concert starts at 8:00.

302. Jazz will be at the corner at 7:00.

303. He'll flash his lights twice,

304. then drive us to the bel-air border.

305. There, we'll meet a guy known as the captain.

306. He'll drive us the rest of the way.

307. No questions asked.

308. What's the code words?

309. Here's 10 bucks.

310. Gotcha.

311. You're going to be ready to go?

312. No problem.

313. Good. You'll blend in.

314. I brought these pillows to put them in our bed

315. so they think we're sleeping.

316. Granny, granny, granny...

317. Nice try,

318. but today it's all done electronically.

319. Check.

320. That's lovely, dear.

321. Ain't my brother.

322. For the last time she is not queen latifa.

323. Finally we're here.

324. You know what? I thought Uncle Phil saw you.

325. What a hideous expression on his face.

326. Thank God he just had a mouthfull of gummy bears.

327. You want to sit down?

328. Don't you start treating me like an old person.

329. What do we do first?

330. Buy t-shirts and get something to eat.

331. We could use some chilli dogs. And lots of cheese.

332. I'm paying.

333. Granny, that marriage proposal still stands.

334. Your grandmother wasn't in her room?

335. There were just pillows underneath her covers.

336. Where would she get an idea like that?

337. Will!

338. How could he still be sleeping?

339. Mm-hmm.

340. Look at how low will will stoop to deceive you.

341. With this tape, who knows how many times

342. he could sneak out for a whole night

343. completely unnoticed.

344. You think will and grandma are all right?

345. I'm sure they are.

346. O.K. I'm going to bed.

347. I don't understand. Where would they be at this hour?

348. The heavy d concert.

349. I accidentally overheard will on the phone

350. when I was trying to clean my receiver.

351. Will probably dragged my mother with him.

352. I'm going down there.

353. I'm going with you. It's a rap concert.

354. You want to be with someone that's hip.

355. Hmm.

356. $10 for a t-shirt. That's crazy.

357. How did you manage to get it

358. for $1.25 and a picture of grandpa?

359. I've been thinking.

360. Maybe we should call home.

361. I know how it is. I've been a parent.

362. I've been a kid, and the answer is

363. eeehhh! Bad choice, Joyce.

364. I mean, they'd kill us.

365. Twice over.

366. I'm sorry to bother you...

367. Miss Fitzgerald?

368. I'm a big fan of yours.

369. Can I have your picture taken with me?

370. Come on, she's not...

371. Ever too busy for a fan.

372. well, they had backstage passes.

373. It shouldn't be too hard to find them.

374. Let's hurry. This is weird.

375. Can you believe how these kids dress?

376. It's beginning to get to me.

377. Uh, excuse me a moment. I just...

378. Could I see your backstage pass?

379. I don't have one. I'm here looking for my mother.

380. And your sister knows a member of the band.

381. You groupies are all alike.

382. I am not a groupie.

383. Call it what you like, but take it from me,

384. heavy d doesn't want to hear you rap.

385. Hey, where do you think you're going?

386. Pardon me.

387. Have you seen a kid in wild, colorful clothing

388. with an earring and the sides of his head shaved?

389. Nope.

390. You better get to your seat.

391. The concert's about to start.

392. I'm not here to see some stupid concert.

393. Never mind. I'll find him myself.

394. He couldn't have gotten too far.

395. Everybody put your hands together

396. for heavy d!

397. Boo! Boo! Boo!

398. When the crowd saw he wasn't heavy d, they was upset.

399. Uncle Phil, you had the shortest rap career in history.

400. But I do feel bad.

401. All the trouble we caused you.

402. Yeah, you're right.

403. Me, too.

404. Oh, well. Oh, well.

405. You all should've seen granny.

406. She was great.

407. She climbed down from the window,

408. then she ran to jazz's car,

409. then helped push it up the hill when it stalled.

410. Philip, I think you're right.

411. Hattie's not up to seeing those azaleas tomorrow.

412. Why, I sure am, and after that,

413. hilary and I will get those facials.

414. Oh, grandma, you haven't lived

415. until you've had a mud mask.

416. What people don't pay for in Beverly hills.

417. Good night, grandma.

418. Good night.

419. And then, Ashley, baby,

420. you and I are going to make us

421. some macaroni rain hats.

422. Great!

423. Good night, grandma.

424. Good night, precious.

425. After all that activity, you'll need a rest.

426. That's when you can tell me

427. more about your schoolwork, dear.

428. Excellent!

429. Good night, grandma.

430. Good night, baby.

431. You know, granny,

432. you was a great date tonight.

433. You showed me a great time.

434. And to thank you,

435. tomorrow I'm going to bake you a sweet potato pie.

436. Granny, I don't think

437. you should be waking up all early.

438. Let's get started on it now.

439. Will, I think it's time for bed.

440. Good night, granny.

441. Good night.

442. Good night, darling.

443. Oh, don't go giving me that look, Zeke.

444. That's the same look you give me at the county fair

445. when I didn't let you climb up the greasy pole.

446. You're not all that mad with me, are you?

447. Well, mama, yes, I am.

448. I try to set some rules down for will,

449. and you undermine my authority.

450. I know how to handle things.

451. I am an adult.

452. I am, too, Zeke.

453. I know that.

454. Do you?

455. How many adults do you tell to take a nap?

456. Mama, I was just worried about you.

457. But I'm fine, baby.

458. I know.

459. When you had the flu

460. and I talked to you on the phone,

461. you sounded so small.

462. I just want you to live a long time.

463. Then, Zeke...

464. Let me live.

465. Captioning performed by the national captioning institute, inc.