1. It's perfect
for granny's visit.
Copy !req
2. We enter here,
pass the llamas
and giraffes,
Copy !req
3. look at the
monkey house,
Copy !req
4. and end on
the Ferris wheel.
Copy !req
5. For the last time,
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6. we are not breaking in
to Michael Jackson's house.
Copy !req
7. Man, what's up?
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8. We're getting grandma
at the airport.
Copy !req
9. She won't want
to hear that garbage.
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10. You don't like
the music
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11. because you can't dance.
Copy !req
12. Oh, really?
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13. In your face.
Copy !req
14. so I did get an "a"
in English,
Copy !req
15. and the a-minus
was in math.
Copy !req
16. What a crazy week.
Copy !req
17. That takes us
to spring quarter.
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18. That's when I—
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19. worked hard,
got good grades,
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20. made the honor roll,
the end.
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21. Hey, granny!
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22. Oh, sugar.
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23. Will, as handsome
as ever.
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24. Grandma,
as generous
as ever.
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25. Granny,
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26. notice how
Carlton's grown?
Copy !req
27. He's almost into
adult sizes.
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28. Congratulations, dear.
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29. I've been looking
through the guide books.
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30. I found an attraction
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31. with your name
all over it.
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32. What's that?
Copy !req
33. Raging waters.
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34. Will,
Copy !req
35. are you insane?
Copy !req
36. It's too late
to be asking.
Copy !req
37. Grandma's here
to rest.
Copy !req
38. She's getting over
the flu.
Copy !req
39. It was a cold.
Copy !req
40. What did
the doctor say?
Copy !req
41. Us country folks
don't run to the doctor
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42. at every sneeze, sniffle,
or broken bone.
Copy !req
43. We are not the
spendthrifts you are, Zeke.
Copy !req
44. Zeke.
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45. That one always
kills me.
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46. Granny, I love
when you visit.
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47. Did you bring
the picture
Copy !req
48. of him
and the goat?
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49. Never leave home
without it.
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50. Yes, sir, I'll get
a frame for this one.
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51. Hattie.
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52. Hello!
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53. Honey, you are
younger and prettier
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54. every time I see you.
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55. Will you look
at you two?
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56. You could enter
a beauty contest.
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57. Oh, grandma.
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58. Really?
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59. I never gave it
much thought.
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60. For the talent portion
you could twirl a checkbook.
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61. Grandma, will we do
some more crafts
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62. while you're here?
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63. Well, we sure are.
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64. Geoffrey!
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65. Yes, madam?
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66. Ashley and I will
be doing some art.
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67. We'll need 50
Popsicle sticks,
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68. two bags
of macaroni wheels,
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69. and lots and lots
of glitter.
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70. I'm way ahead of you.
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71. In anticipation
of your visit,
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72. I've saved two dozen
egg cartons.
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73. Thank you, Geoffrey,
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74. but we won't be making
purses this time.
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75. Speaking of art,
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76. I thought we could
go to the museum.
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77. They have a display
on 100-year-old
quilts.
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78. I got one of them
in my truck.
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79. I know what's
perfect for grandma—
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80. a day of beauty,
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81. where the salon does
your hair and makeup.
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82. You come out
looking fabulous.
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83. I don't think
she'd be interested.
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84. I know we have
plans for grandma,
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85. but let her
relax first.
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86. Sweetie,
I feel fine.
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87. Maybe so,
but I want you
to take it easy.
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88. Your are not
to lift a finger.
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89. We'll treat you
like a queen.
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90. You said the magic word.
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91. Excuse me.
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92. Did I just win
the Kentucky derby?
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93. I was instructed to
keep you warm at all time
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94. why don't you just
light me on fire?
Copy !req
95. I'm already hotter than a dog
in a wool wagon.
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96. Now get!
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97. The getting is good, madam.
Copy !req
98. Hey, granny,
what you doing?
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99. Nothing much,
I'm afraid.
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100. Your Uncle gave me this book
of find-the-word puzzles.
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101. So I found
all the words.
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102. Now what do I
do with them?
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103. You shouldn't
be sitting here.
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104. You should
do something
you like doing,
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105. like,
I don't know,
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106. baking me
a sweet
potato pie.
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107. Baby,
much as I'd like to,
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108. I think your Uncle
wants me to stay put.
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109. Now that's your
first mistake.
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110. He tells me all kinds
of stuff to do,
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111. and I never listen.
Copy !req
112. And I'm a better
person for it.
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113. How come you're
sitting around?
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114. Don't you
have plans?
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115. No, not really.
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116. You got to have
a girl.
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117. Oh, no kidding.
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118. There's no one
that gets your
sap rising?
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119. There's
this girl named Tanya.
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120. I met her at the mall.
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121. She works in
a fancy men's store,
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122. where even underwear
comes from Europe.
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123. I don't know if
she'd date anybody
in local drawers.
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124. Sets to mind
a heifer we once had.
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125. You ain't seen Tanya.
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126. You listen up.
Copy !req
127. Petunia had
two bulls
liking her—
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128. one a big,
strong Angus
Copy !req
129. with a chest
as wide
as a Chevy.
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130. That one's me, right?
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131. The other one
was a slim,
handsome Jersey,
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132. a real lady's bull.
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133. Ah, that one's
me, right?
Copy !req
134. All season long,
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135. Petunia just
couldn't decide.
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136. So come fall,
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137. she ups and picks
the Angus.
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138. See?
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139. No.
Copy !req
140. By then, breeding
season was over.
Copy !req
141. Maybe if you changed it
to cats or something.
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142. Now, everybody
be quiet.
Copy !req
143. Grandma's
probably sleeping.
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144. She's going to
love my gift.
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145. I didn't know
Leonard nimoy even sang.
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146. That was very
thoughtful, Carlton.
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147. Thank you.
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148. I smell
something funny.
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149. It smells like pine.
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150. I smell it, too.
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151. I thinks it's coming
from in the kitchen.
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152. What is that smell?
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153. Watch your step.
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154. The floor is wet.
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155. Mother, what are
you doing?
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156. Picking apples
from a cherry tree.
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157. What does it look
like I'm doing?
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158. I'm giving your floor
a good hand-scrubbing.
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159. That's
Geoffrey's job.
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160. No, it ain't.
Copy !req
161. I have begun
the mulch pile, madam.
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162. Fine, I'll be
out to look
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163. after I flip
the mattresses.
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164. Hold on, mama.
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165. Geoffrey?
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166. Sorry, sir.
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167. She threatened me
with a whupping.
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168. Seems like you're back
to your old self.
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169. I have an idea.
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170. I know how proud
you are of your azaleas.
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171. Let's go to the
botanical garden
and see theirs.
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172. I'll get my sweater.
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173. Why? You cold?
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174. Geoffrey, turn up
the heat.
Copy !req
175. I already set
the thermostat on 80
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176. as you requested.
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177. The candles are
starting to melt.
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178. I just wanted
my sweater
Copy !req
179. 'cause we're going
to the gardens.
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180. We'll go
later this week.
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181. Get settled in first.
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182. I'm more settled
than a big ol'
box of raisin bran.
Copy !req
183. Mama, don't excite
yourself.
Copy !req
184. Is there anything
I can get for you?
Copy !req
185. A magazine?
Copy !req
186. Or a game.
Copy !req
187. Or some moisturizer.
Copy !req
188. I have an idea.
Copy !req
189. Let's all
take a dip
in the pool.
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190. Sounds good.
Copy !req
191. That way we can
let mama take a nap.
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192. I want to swim, too.
Copy !req
193. You shouldn't swim
when getting over the flu.
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194. We'll see you
after your nap.
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195. Nap!
Copy !req
196. Why don't they
put me in a playpen?
Copy !req
197. Yo, d.J. Granny.
Copy !req
198. Hey, what's
going on?
Copy !req
199. Nothing.
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200. And your Uncle
aims to keep it
that way.
Copy !req
201. I know he means well,
Copy !req
202. but a body has to
feel useful.
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203. Useful?
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204. You know that
girlie advice
you gave me?
Copy !req
205. Worked like
a charm.
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206. Really?
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207. I don't remember
exactly,
Copy !req
208. but I walked
up to her and said,
Copy !req
209. "bulls and cows
should get together
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210. before it starts
snowing."
Copy !req
211. And she understood that?
Copy !req
212. Well, no, but she
likes my hair.
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213. We're going out
on her first
night off.
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214. Oh, that's fine.
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215. But I don't have a date
for the concert tonight.
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216. Who's playing?
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217. Heavy d.
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218. Oh, I love him.
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219. You do?
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220. Who doesn't like
Charlie Daniels?
Copy !req
221. This is another
heavy d, granny.
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222. Maybe if I play
this for you.
Check it out.
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223. Not bad.
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224. Can't understand
what he's saying,
Copy !req
225. but it does
have a beat.
Copy !req
226. What kind of dance
you do to this?
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227. Trust me on this.
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228. It's complicated.
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229. It takes a lot
of dedication
to learn.
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230. Honey, I ain't got
that kind of time.
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231. You're getting there.
You're getting there.
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232. This kind of dancing
works up quite an appetite.
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233. What say I make us
some flapjacks?
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234. Granny,
will you marry me?
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235. Oh, sweet talker!
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236. Ooh, this is
the good part.
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237. I'll turn up
the victrola.
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238. Yeah!
Copy !req
239. Whoo-hoo!
Copy !req
240. Go, granny.
Copy !req
241. Go, granny.
Copy !req
242. What's going on in here?
Copy !req
243. Mama,
are you all right?
Copy !req
244. Of course.
Take your hands
off of me.
Copy !req
245. Will, why are you
playing that music?
Copy !req
246. Grandma's supposed
to be resting.
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247. You're grounded.
Copy !req
248. Grounded?
I just played some music.
Copy !req
249. Sounds like a no dessert
offense, isn't it?
Copy !req
250. You heard what I said.
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251. All right. I got back stage
passes to heavy d concert.
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252. You said rap music is awful.
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253. Let's say we make
that my punishment.
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254. Please don't make me go.
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255. Nice try, will.
Copy !req
256. Don't get so worked up.
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257. I was just having fun.
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258. A woman your age
should not be
dancing around.
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259. Boy, don't you tell me
what to do.
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260. I'm sorry.
I'm trying to
look out for you.
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261. Will, no more
horsing around.
Copy !req
262. Will, no more
horsing around.
Copy !req
263. That boy is
about as much fun
as day-old oatmeal.
Copy !req
264. I noticed that.
Copy !req
265. Granny, since we're
both grounded,
Copy !req
266. want to go upstairs,
slam our bedroom doors,
Copy !req
267. and throw things?
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268. A woman my age
shouldn't be dancing.
Copy !req
269. We'll see about that.
Copy !req
270. Spoiling my fun.
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271. Yours?
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272. I can't believe I'm not
going to that concert.
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273. You are going
to that concert.
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274. I am?
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275. That's right.
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276. With me.
Copy !req
277. But Uncle Phil
won't let us.
Copy !req
278. Uncle Phil
won't see us.
Copy !req
279. Oooh...
Copy !req
280. Sneaking out? You?
Copy !req
281. Honey, you are
looking at a woman
Copy !req
282. who has snuck out
to more barn dances,
Copy !req
283. hayrides,
Copy !req
284. and midnight skinny dips
Copy !req
285. than a chicken has pecks.
Copy !req
286. Yo, well, yee-hah!
Copy !req
287. All right!
Copy !req
288. Hattie, looks like
you've got plans.
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289. Oh, yeah.
Copy !req
290. Got some extra pillows.
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291. I like to turn in early
at my age.
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292. Would you like
hot chocolate?
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293. Lord, no!
Copy !req
294. Don't need
the stimulation.
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295. Well, good night.
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296. Good night, honey.
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297. That was close.
Copy !req
298. But I was cool.
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299. Good work, 0070.
Copy !req
300. Now here's the plan.
Copy !req
301. The concert
starts at 8:00.
Copy !req
302. Jazz will be
at the corner at 7:00.
Copy !req
303. He'll flash
his lights twice,
Copy !req
304. then drive us
to the bel-air border.
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305. There, we'll meet a guy
known as the captain.
Copy !req
306. He'll drive us
the rest of the way.
Copy !req
307. No questions asked.
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308. What's the code words?
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309. Here's 10 bucks.
Copy !req
310. Gotcha.
Copy !req
311. You're going to be
ready to go?
Copy !req
312. No problem.
Copy !req
313. Good. You'll blend in.
Copy !req
314. I brought these pillows
to put them in our bed
Copy !req
315. so they think
we're sleeping.
Copy !req
316. Granny, granny,
granny...
Copy !req
317. Nice try,
Copy !req
318. but today
it's all done
electronically.
Copy !req
319. Check.
Copy !req
320. That's lovely, dear.
Copy !req
321. Ain't my brother.
Copy !req
322. For the last time
she is not queen latifa.
Copy !req
323. Finally we're here.
Copy !req
324. You know what?
I thought Uncle Phil saw you.
Copy !req
325. What a hideous
expression on his face.
Copy !req
326. Thank God he just had a
mouthfull of gummy bears.
Copy !req
327. You want to sit down?
Copy !req
328. Don't you start treating me
like an old person.
Copy !req
329. What do we do first?
Copy !req
330. Buy t-shirts
and get something to eat.
Copy !req
331. We could use some chilli dogs.
And lots of cheese.
Copy !req
332. I'm paying.
Copy !req
333. Granny, that marriage proposal
still stands.
Copy !req
334. Your grandmother
wasn't in her room?
Copy !req
335. There were just pillows
underneath her covers.
Copy !req
336. Where would she get
an idea like that?
Copy !req
337. Will!
Copy !req
338. How could he
still be sleeping?
Copy !req
339. Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
340. Look at how low
will will stoop
to deceive you.
Copy !req
341. With this tape,
who knows
how many times
Copy !req
342. he could sneak out
for a whole night
Copy !req
343. completely
unnoticed.
Copy !req
344. You think will and grandma
are all right?
Copy !req
345. I'm sure they are.
Copy !req
346. O.K. I'm going to bed.
Copy !req
347. I don't understand.
Where would they be
at this hour?
Copy !req
348. The heavy d concert.
Copy !req
349. I accidentally
overheard will
on the phone
Copy !req
350. when I was
trying to clean
my receiver.
Copy !req
351. Will probably dragged
my mother with him.
Copy !req
352. I'm going down there.
Copy !req
353. I'm going with you.
It's a rap concert.
Copy !req
354. You want to be
with someone that's hip.
Copy !req
355. Hmm.
Copy !req
356. $10 for a t-shirt.
That's crazy.
Copy !req
357. How did you
manage to get it
Copy !req
358. for $1.25
and a picture
of grandpa?
Copy !req
359. I've been thinking.
Copy !req
360. Maybe we
should call home.
Copy !req
361. I know how it is.
I've been a parent.
Copy !req
362. I've been a kid,
and the answer is
Copy !req
363. eeehhh!
Bad choice, Joyce.
Copy !req
364. I mean, they'd kill us.
Copy !req
365. Twice over.
Copy !req
366. I'm sorry
to bother you...
Copy !req
367. Miss Fitzgerald?
Copy !req
368. I'm a big fan
of yours.
Copy !req
369. Can I have
your picture
taken with me?
Copy !req
370. Come on, she's not...
Copy !req
371. Ever too busy
for a fan.
Copy !req
372. well, they had
backstage passes.
Copy !req
373. It shouldn't
be too hard
to find them.
Copy !req
374. Let's hurry.
This is weird.
Copy !req
375. Can you believe
how these kids dress?
Copy !req
376. It's beginning
to get to me.
Copy !req
377. Uh, excuse me a moment.
I just...
Copy !req
378. Could I see
your backstage pass?
Copy !req
379. I don't have one.
I'm here looking
for my mother.
Copy !req
380. And your sister
knows a member
of the band.
Copy !req
381. You groupies
are all alike.
Copy !req
382. I am not a groupie.
Copy !req
383. Call it what you like,
but take it from me,
Copy !req
384. heavy d doesn't want
to hear you rap.
Copy !req
385. Hey, where do you think
you're going?
Copy !req
386. Pardon me.
Copy !req
387. Have you seen a kid
in wild, colorful clothing
Copy !req
388. with an earring
and the sides
of his head shaved?
Copy !req
389. Nope.
Copy !req
390. You better
get to your seat.
Copy !req
391. The concert's
about to start.
Copy !req
392. I'm not here to see
some stupid concert.
Copy !req
393. Never mind.
I'll find him myself.
Copy !req
394. He couldn't have
gotten too far.
Copy !req
395. Everybody
put your hands together
Copy !req
396. for heavy d!
Copy !req
397. Boo!
Boo!
Boo!
Copy !req
398. When the crowd saw
he wasn't heavy d,
they was upset.
Copy !req
399. Uncle Phil,
you had the shortest
rap career in history.
Copy !req
400. But I do feel bad.
Copy !req
401. All the trouble
we caused you.
Copy !req
402. Yeah, you're right.
Copy !req
403. Me, too.
Copy !req
404. Oh, well.
Oh, well.
Copy !req
405. You all should've
seen granny.
Copy !req
406. She was great.
Copy !req
407. She climbed down
from the window,
Copy !req
408. then she ran
to jazz's car,
Copy !req
409. then helped push it
up the hill
when it stalled.
Copy !req
410. Philip, I think
you're right.
Copy !req
411. Hattie's not up to seeing
those azaleas tomorrow.
Copy !req
412. Why, I sure am,
and after that,
Copy !req
413. hilary and I
will get those facials.
Copy !req
414. Oh, grandma,
you haven't lived
Copy !req
415. until you've had
a mud mask.
Copy !req
416. What people don't pay for
in Beverly hills.
Copy !req
417. Good night,
grandma.
Copy !req
418. Good night.
Copy !req
419. And then, Ashley, baby,
Copy !req
420. you and I
are going to make us
Copy !req
421. some macaroni rain hats.
Copy !req
422. Great!
Copy !req
423. Good night,
grandma.
Copy !req
424. Good night,
precious.
Copy !req
425. After all that activity,
you'll need a rest.
Copy !req
426. That's when
you can tell me
Copy !req
427. more about
your schoolwork, dear.
Copy !req
428. Excellent!
Copy !req
429. Good night,
grandma.
Copy !req
430. Good night, baby.
Copy !req
431. You know, granny,
Copy !req
432. you was a great date
tonight.
Copy !req
433. You showed me
a great time.
Copy !req
434. And to thank you,
Copy !req
435. tomorrow I'm
going to bake you
a sweet potato pie.
Copy !req
436. Granny, I don't think
Copy !req
437. you should be waking up
all early.
Copy !req
438. Let's get started
on it now.
Copy !req
439. Will, I think
it's time for bed.
Copy !req
440. Good night, granny.
Copy !req
441. Good night.
Copy !req
442. Good night,
darling.
Copy !req
443. Oh, don't go giving me
that look, Zeke.
Copy !req
444. That's the same look you give me
at the county fair
Copy !req
445. when I didn't let you climb
up the greasy pole.
Copy !req
446. You're not
all that mad
with me, are you?
Copy !req
447. Well, mama,
yes, I am.
Copy !req
448. I try to
set some rules
down for will,
Copy !req
449. and you undermine
my authority.
Copy !req
450. I know how
to handle things.
Copy !req
451. I am an adult.
Copy !req
452. I am, too, Zeke.
Copy !req
453. I know that.
Copy !req
454. Do you?
Copy !req
455. How many adults
do you tell
to take a nap?
Copy !req
456. Mama, I was just
worried about you.
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457. But I'm fine, baby.
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458. I know.
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459. When you had the flu
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460. and I talked to you
on the phone,
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461. you sounded so small.
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462. I just want you
to live a long time.
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463. Then, Zeke...
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464. Let me live.
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465. Captioning performed by
the national captioning
institute, inc.
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