The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air: Season 1, Episode 16

Directed by Jeff Melman

Sandy Frank as Peter Leonard • John Petlock as Henry Furth • Tom O'Rourke as Jameson Whitworth • Diane Racine as Gladys

Philip may lose a superstitious client whom he advises not to make decisions based on Will's spontaneous remarks.

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1. Hey, kellogg, how was your weekend?

2. Complete disaster, Carlton.

3. I took this girl to see new kids on the block, right

4. and all night she saying to me, Donnie's so cute

5. Donnie's so sweet, Donnie's so hunky

6. I mean what does Donnie have that I don't have.

7. My guess is you don't have the right stuff.

8. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh.

9. All right, men.

10. It's history time.

11. Smith, you're late.

12. Sorry about that, coach, but, uh...

13. I thought I'd run a few laps before class.

14. Whoo.

15. Help out the basketball team.

16. Good idea. Good way to stay ahead of the competition.

17. All you players should start the day running laps.

18. We run enough at basketball practice, coach smiley.

19. Hunt, we're not in the gym.

20. Therefore, you'll refer to me

21. by my official teaching name—

22. Professor smiley.

23. And for that slip of the tongue— 20 laps.

24. All right, men.

25. Before we start the next chapter,

26. I'll give back the pop quiz from Friday.

27. I want you to take these home

28. and bring them back signed by your parents.

29. I think I aced this one.

30. I think I did just fine.

31. the way you write your "a"

32. shows you're intelligent and playful.

33. You can tell all that from my signature?

34. Yep.

35. That's amazing.

36. Do me, do me!

37. Sign right there under Ashley.

38. O.K. So what do you see about me?

39. The bold vertical strokes

40. show that you're impulsive.

41. The large capital letters show that you're committed.

42. The smiley face you use to dot your "I"

43. shows you got way too much time on your hands.

44. That's all true.

45. Who does it say I'm going to marry?

46. Handsome movie star who will only be happy

47. if you spend obscene amounts of money.

48. You're good.

49. Hello, everybody.

50. Hi, honey.

51. Will knows how to analyze people's handwriting.

52. He's quite good, sir.

53. One look at my signature,

54. and he deduced that I was Valiant,

55. ingenious, and have the strength of 10.

56. Let me do yours.

57. I don't believe that nonsense.

58. I'd hardly call it nonsense.

59. Please, daddy, it's fun.

60. Oh, all right, all right.

61. Where do I sign?

62. Oh, no, Uncle Phil.

63. You deserve a fresh piece of paper.

64. H—how about you, aunt viv?

65. Sure. Why not?

66. Oh, will, this is always such a sad moment.

67. What is?

68. Getting you and mom

69. to sign his hall of shame history exam.

70. History exam?

71. Sorry, will.

72. If it's any consolation, I got an "a,"

73. and I must say, I found it easy.

74. Carlton, Ashley, we'd like to talk to will alone.

75. Will, what is going on?

76. You do so well in English and math.

77. It's not my fault. That class is boring.

78. Don't give us that.

79. I mean, they don't teach the whole story.

80. We don't learn nothing

81. about the black people in American history.

82. If they taught that,

83. maybe I'd be more interested and work harder.

84. That's not a bad idea.

85. It's not?

86. It's not?

87. It's not?

88. Carlton, stop eavesdropping!

89. Sorry, mom.

90. This does not excuse your grade,

91. but you've made a good point about the curriculum.

92. So we all agree here?

93. None of this is any of my fault?

94. This has been a productive meeting.

95. Stay put.

96. You brought up a valid point,

97. but what are you going to do about it?

98. Mm-nn-mm.

99. Don't just complain, take action!

100. Write a statement about why more black history

101. should be added to the curriculum.

102. Present it at next week's parent/teachers' meeting.

103. I'll go with you.

104. You will?

105. You will?

106. You will?

107. The administration will consider the petition

108. suggesting that we change the school motto

109. to "bel-air academy—love it or go to public school."

110. Any other new business?

111. Headmaster Armstrong, I have some.

112. Ah, Mr. Smith.

113. Well, this should certainly be fly.

114. The students at this school

115. are being cheated out of a valuable learning experience.

116. I'm talking about coach smiley's history class.

117. That's Professor smiley, Smith.

118. That will be 10 laps.

119. What's your concern, Mr. Smith?

120. We learn about George Washington and Thomas Jefferson

121. and other dudes that wound up on our money,

122. but what about Martin Luther King

123. and all the black people that made a difference?

124. It's like when there wasn't no pictures

125. of any brothers on the wall

126. in do the right thing.

127. I'm sorry, Mr. Smith. The last movie I saw was

128. dead poets society.

129. With the right headmaster that would have been

130. a completely different story.

131. Coach smiley, would you care

132. to respond to Mr. Smith?

133. All right.

134. I'd like to make three points.

135. First, in my course we are trying to condense

136. 200 and... Oh, some odd years of history

137. into nine months of lessons.

138. Obviously we have to concentrate

139. on some historical figures and exclude others.

140. That's true.

141. Second, our school has a fine library,

142. or so I've been told,

143. where any student can study more about black history.

144. Another good point.

145. Ahem.

146. Third, for years I have taught my course

147. from this well-respected textbook,

148. and I don't know a lick more than what's in this,

149. so forget it.

150. But I think it's important.

151. And it is.

152. Unfortunately, the school rule book clearly states

153. any requests pertaining to curriculum changes

154. be accompanied by—

155. a petition signed by 150 student signatures—

156. article 4, section 9.

157. Where'd you get ahold of that book?

158. I mean, it certainly will take some time

159. to revise the curriculum.

160. What about having somebody

161. come in for a month

162. to teach black history?

163. A month off?

164. Armstrong, I think the kid's got something here.

165. Be that as it may.

166. I'm sure it will be some while

167. before we can find a teacher.

168. So, unless there's any other business, this meeting is—

169. I hate to say this,

170. but it sounds like you're stalling.

171. Not at all, Mrs. Banks.

172. We want to make sure the person we get

173. is properly qualified.

174. A college Professor with a ph.D.

175. Who's taught black history

176. and literature at the university level?

177. Where would we find this person?

178. You're looking at her.

179. See you in a month.

180. Now that we're studying something I know about,

181. I'll be the star of this class.

182. No, you're not. I am.

183. What, are you tripping? How do you figure that?

184. Because the teacher's my mommy.

185. Good morning, class.

186. Mom, I'd like to welcome you

187. on behalf of the class.

188. We're happy you're here.

189. What did you call me?

190. What I always call you—mom.

191. My name is not mom. It's Professor banks.

192. That is what I prefer. It that clear?

193. Yes, Professor banks.

194. Black American history, gentlemen,

195. from Africa to slavery to the present.

196. We've all heard of Frederick douglass,

197. Martin Luther King, and booker t. Washington.

198. But black history includes many names and faces

199. that aren't remembered today.

200. Who has heard the spirituals sung by the slaves?

201. Uh, I have.

202. Now listen to this.

203. hey, that was pretty cool.

204. What's the purpose of that song?

205. Uh, let me handle this one.

206. For those of you

207. unfamiliar with the spirituals...

208. Allow me to explain.

209. The slaves used to sing them

210. to keep their spirits up and their minds on God

211. in the face of oppression.

212. That was very well put, Mr. Smith,

213. but you're wrong.

214. I beg your pardon?

215. That song was written to be used

216. as a secret code of the underground railroad.

217. Secret code? What do you mean?

218. Does anyone know what the underground railroad was?

219. Now, this one I know.

220. It was a group of people

221. that led slaves to freedom.

222. When was it established?

223. During slavery.

224. That covers 250 years.

225. Care to narrow it down a bit?

226. What do you mean, right now?

227. Sit down, Mr. Smith.

228. It was established during the 1840s.

229. Harriet tubman, an ex-slave,

230. was one of the leaders.

231. These gospel songs were secret messages

232. telling the runaway slaves

233. how to get to freedom.

234. For example, the drinking gourd

235. referred to the big dipper.

236. When the slaves sang "follow the drinking gourd,"

237. that signaled slaves to run towards the big dipper.

238. Along the route, they met abolitionists

239. and escaped to freedom.

240. Well, that's what I meant.

241. Could you teach us a song?

242. Wade in the water.

243. This song told runaway slaves

244. that the best route was along the river.

245. Late at night, these songs could be heard

246. from slave cabins along the route,

247. guiding the runaways to freedom.

248. everybody, join in now.

249. come on.

250. now, all right.

251. Not bad, guys.

252. Next week's assignment will be a report

253. on the port royal experiment and the penn school

254. written by Mr. Smith.

255. Who, me?

256. This course was your idea.

257. You should be given the honor

258. of the first assignment.

259. Congratulations, will. What an honor.

260. Mr. Smith will write the first half of the report,

261. Mr. Banks the second half.

262. Who, me?

263. It should be at least 15 pages, typed, double-spaced,

264. with footnotes and a bibliography.

265. This course was a brilliant idea.

266. She's your mom.

267. I can't believe that mom picked us to do that assignment.

268. Word.

269. Coach smiley never would have did that.

270. He used to say, "extra work you means extra work for me."

271. Excuse me.

272. Dibs on the tall one.

273. Excuse me, miss. Maybe you can help me out here.

274. I seem to have lost all the feeling in my lips.

275. I'm Carlton banks. That's right, the Carlton banks.

276. Want to slide out here, get something to eat?

277. Sure.

278. Okay.

279. Will, Carlton, I've been looking for you.

280. I think class went pretty well today, don't you?

281. Yeah, well, got to go.

282. Just a second. I've got something for you.

283. This book will help you with your research paper.

284. It's about the penn school.

285. Charlotte forten was one of it's first black teachers and she...

286. Will!

287. Are you listening to me?

288. Of course. You were talking about the penn school.

289. What did I say about the penn school?

290. It's right around the corner from pencil school.

291. Uh-huh.

292. Thanks, mom.

293. Carlton, how many times I have to tell you.

294. Baby, tuck in your shirt.

295. Look at you. Honestly, will...

296. Those eyebrows!

297. Hurry up. We're going to the library.

298. The tall one really liked me.

299. I'm going on my first job interview

300. at an art gallery,

301. and I need some advice.

302. You've been on lots of interviews.

303. Why, yes, miss hilary.

304. I've worked my entire life.

305. Really? Why?

306. Because I've always been partial to food and shelter.

307. Oh, o.K. Anyway, I've been trying to prepare

308. for this interview,

309. but every time I think about it, I get nervous.

310. What do they ask?

311. It's nothing to be nervous about.

312. Just a few simple questions.

313. For example, what is your name?

314. Hilary s. Banks.

315. Education?

316. Two years of college.

317. What are your qualifications

318. to work in an art gallery?

319. Well, I'm like...

320. An art gallery to me is like...

321. Well, you know, it's like—

322. o.K. When I walk into an art gallery,

323. um...

324. I mean, o.K. If I had to choose, all right?

325. Well, it's like, I mean...

326. Leave me alone!

327. You're hired.

328. Yo, g, is aunt viv here?

329. In the kitchen. Shall I—

330. no.

331. She can't know we're here.

332. She hasn't let us watch TV in a week.

333. I'm getting withdrawal symptoms.

334. My body needs a certain amount of microwaves.

335. Hi, guys.

336. How's that history class coming?

337. Fine. Fine.

338. Yeah.

339. How are you doing with your term papers

340. and your reading assignments

341. and your economic graphs of the cotton industry?

342. Dad, if you don't mind,

343. we'd rather not talk about history class.

344. O.K. Suit yourself.

345. Uncle Phil,

346. please.

347. If memory serves,

348. this black history class was your idea.

349. I didn't know aunt viv would teach it.

350. She's driving us crazy.

351. I dreamt I went to the prom with Harriet tubman.

352. Will, I saw this coming.

353. You thought you'd get a free ride.

354. No, I didn't.

355. I sure did.

356. I don't have any sympathy.

357. Just because she's making you do some hard work,

358. you can't take it.

359. Look, that's not it.

360. For her own good, you have to warn her,

361. if she stays tough, the class will revolt.

362. They're on the edge.

363. umoga.

364. I what?

365. Umoga. It's Swahili for unity.

366. Dope, huh?

367. I got the whole berlitz course on cassette.

368. Did you take my jet magazine?

369. I've got my own subscription.

370. Good morning, class.

371. Who would like to make

372. the first oral presentation?

373. Jonathan, you did your presentation yesterday.

374. But I've done a new presentation,

375. just for fun.

376. Before we make our presentations,

377. we have something to say.

378. A bunch of us were at chadney's house

379. making extra-credit dioramas.

380. We agreed it's a shame

381. you're leaving at the end of the month.

382. Oh, yeah, terrible.

383. That's a wack, wack situation.

384. We came up with this.

385. It's a petition for you to become

386. our permanent history teacher.

387. Shoot me.

388. I'm overwhelmed. This is very flattering.

389. The rule book says we need 150 signatures.

390. So far, we've collected 148.

391. It'd be fun if the two signatures needed

392. were will and Carlton's.

393. Guys, do the honors.

394. Um, af-after you, will.

395. Uh, no, no. You go ahead first.

396. I insist.

397. She's your mom.

398. This class was your idea.

399. O.K., o.K. Uh, listen, guys.

400. I'm very touched that you want me to stay,

401. but the university probably wouldn't approve.

402. But I don't see—

403. let's get to work.

404. Mr. Fletcher, would you care to give your report, please?

405. Hi there, aunt viv.

406. What are you doing?

407. Just grading papers.

408. The class coming over?

409. Yeah. Maybe you can tell us more

410. about Harriet tubman.

411. Yeah. I never get enough of her.

412. I think you did get enough.

413. You thought one month was enough.

414. Mom, I'm sorry I wasn't as enthusiastic

415. as the other guys.

416. You're a great teacher. It's just...

417. I hope you don't take this the wrong way,

418. but you made our lives a living nightmare.

419. How did I do that?

420. You read me in front of the class.

421. You gave us extra work and those reports.

422. I didn't hear any complaints from the others.

423. That's because you were harder on us.

424. I'm sorry you felt I was being hard on you,

425. but I thought the two black students

426. would want to get the most out of the course.

427. I guess we didn't think about it that way.

428. Mom.

429. Yes.

430. This whole ugly episode...

431. It's not going to affect my grade, will it?

432. I'm a very tough grader, Carlton.

433. And you're very beautiful, mommy.

434. Will, there's one thing I've been wondering.

435. What's that?

436. Why did you want a course in black history?

437. I'm interested.

438. Are you really?

439. Of course.

440. You didn't seem happy about all the work.

441. You said if you were interested in something,

442. you'd study hard.

443. Aunt viv,

444. I read the autobiography of Malcolm X three times.

445. That makes you a serious student?

446. That's a very important book.

447. Will, you can read that book,

448. you can wear the t-shirts,

449. and shout the slogans,

450. but unless you know all the history behind it,

451. you're trivializing the entire struggle.

452. Now, you started something very good here,

453. but it's up to you, baby,

454. to follow through on it.