The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air 1x11

Directed by Jeff Melman

Isiah Thomas as Himself • William Cort as Headmaster Thorvald • Michael Weiner as Kellogg Lieberbaum • DJ Jazzy Jeff as Jazz • Michael Landes as Chadney Hunt

Carlton feels overshadowed by Will, who's become a basketball star at school.

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1. Good evening, sir. And how was your day?

2. Oh, being a lawyer stinks, Geoffrey.

3. No matter how good a job you do, your clients still compare you

4. to Harry Hamlin.

5. Oh, yes. The resemblance is quite striking.

6. Oh! Yeah.

7. Oh, come on, baby. Get on the soul train.

8. I love this kind of dancing

9. it makes you feel so young.

10. Ooh, yeah.

11. 'Doesn't that golden oldie'

12. 'take you way way back?'

13. 'That was "Papa's Got A Brand New Bag"'

14. 'recorded 25 long years ago by James Brown.'

15. 'The granddaddy of soul.'

16. 'We'll be right back after this message from Geritol.'

17. And the Fresh Prince drives down the court.

18. He stops, he pops, and it's... yes!

19. No.

20. Will, don't play inside. You might break something.

21. Or something might break you.

22. I'm sorry. You don't have a hoop outside.

23. And jazz is getting tired of standing on the second-floor

24. balcony holding a pool skimmer.

25. Come on, Prince, man. I know a playground in my neighborhood.

26. 'Course we can only play half-court.

27. They use the other end to sell stolen appliances.

28. Dope. Let's go.

29. Hold on, Will. We don't want you playing there.

30. They have a perfectly good basketball court

31. at the school, that's where Carlton is practicing.

32. Carlton's on the basketball team?

33. How do they do?

34. Well, they try hard, but to tell you the truth

35. they haven't won a game so far.

36. Aunt Viv, I mean, don't you think

37. if we went down to watch them practice

38. Carlton would be a little embarrassed?

39. - Let's go. - Let's go.

40. Ooh, good try.

41. Come on.

42. Alright.

43. Man, these guys need help.

44. Help? They need a telethon.

45. Hey, he threw that ball to me.

46. Yeah. But I'm on the other team. I'm supposed to try and get it.

47. Well, you don't have to be rude about it.

48. Hey, you two, make up right now.

49. Alright, men. Another brilliant warm-up.

50. Frankly, I think there's been way too much emphasis

51. over the years on putting the ball

52. actually through the hoop.

53. So let's practice some passing.

54. - Coach, may I have a minute? - Oh, sure.

55. Alright, men, take five.

56. Headmaster Thorvald, good afternoon.

57. Coach, this is Barry O'Donnell.

58. He's a distinguished alumnus, and I'm encouraging him

59. to donate money for a new gymnasium.

60. Coach. What do you think the team's prospects are this year?

61. For what?

62. For winning.

63. Excuse me.

64. W-w-what about those two? You've been holding out on me.

65. Now those are players. I'd like to meet them.

66. Alright. Gentlemen.

67. Uh, not you.

68. You two, come on over. I want you to meet somebody.

69. Hey, uh, Mr. Thorvald, hey, straight up, man

70. about that fire alarm.. I don't know who pulled it.

71. Forget about it. I'd like you to meet

72. two of Bel-Air academy's newest recruits.

73. This is Will Smith and, uh your name is, uh..

74. - Jazz, man. - Of course, Mr. Jazzman.

75. So, Will, where have you been hiding yourself?

76. What do you mean? During gym class?

77. No, no, no, I just wondered

78. how'd you two men like to join the school team?

79. Man, I ain't even in this school.

80. Well, I'm willing to look past that if you are.

81. Coach, he can't be on the team if he's not in school here.

82. Okay. How about you, Will?

83. Well, I was really just trying to find somewhere to play.

84. You join this team, you can play here anytime you want.

85. No, I don't think so.

86. Well, it'll look good on a college application.

87. I-I don't know, coach.

88. Alright. I'll give you my car.

89. Okay, Will, this is gonna be fun.

90. The coach asked me to go through the playbook with you.

91. Carl, your team doesn't need a play book.

92. They need a prayer book.

93. Alright, now, pay attention.

94. This is you..

95. and this is me.

96. See like.. This is me.

97. And this is you.

98. Fair enough.

99. This is my brain

100. and this is your brain.

101. Well, this is my handsome face.

102. And this is your ugly little Frankenstein face.

103. - Give me that chalk. - Oh, come on, man, beat it.

104. - Give me the chalk. - Come on now, man.

105. - Give me— - Ashley!

106. Here, Ashley, finally there's an adult in the room.

107. Guys, I'm trying to study. What are you doing?

108. - Keep away from Carlton. - Oh, over here, over here.

109. Guys.

110. Children, please!

111. What if your parents witnessed this horseplay?

112. Give me that chalk immediately.

113. Keep it away from Carlton!

114. Keep away from Carlton and Geoffrey.

115. You've met your match, Master William.

116. Hey, Geoffrey, get off me, man.

117. Geoffrey?

118. May I get you something, sir?

119. No, thank you.

120. Will, how many times do I have to tell you

121. that this is our living room?

122. How'd you like it if I went into your room

123. and suddenly started throwing chalk around?

124. I'd be devastated.

125. Out.

126. - Now, why did you do that? - What?

127. You singled Will out. They were all goofing around.

128. He was the mastermind, Vivian. Trust me.

129. I just wish you'd be nicer to Will.

130. Now, he joined the basketball team

131. and you haven't said a word about it.

132. - Give him some credit. - Alright. I see your point.

133. Besides, I think it's a great opportunity

134. for you and Will to find some common ground.

135. After all, now, you were kind of a star athlete in college.

136. "Kind of a star athlete"?

137. Alright. You were a football God.

138. Okay, okay. Who knows, it might do him some good.

139. Nothing like a little organized sport to straighten a guy out.

140. Yes. It did wonders for Pete Rose.

141. Hilary, I really appreciate you coming tonight.

142. I know you're not a big sports fan.

143. Mother, please, it's Will's first game with the team.

144. I'm proud of him.

145. If I didn't show up to support him

146. what kind of cousin would I be?

147. Well, I think it'll be three hours well spent.

148. Three hours?

149. Yeah! Yeah! Alright!

150. Five, four, three, two, one! Stop!

151. I'm going to Disneyland!

152. You did alright! You did alright!

153. Alright, men, good game on Friday.

154. But I think we can do even better this week.

155. - So let's go over some plays. - Sorry I'm late, coach!

156. Sorry isn't good enough, Cartwell.

157. Well, I was under the assumption—

158. Ah, you made an assumption.

159. Well, don't make an assumption..

160. because you will be an ass

161. and the ump will shun you.

162. Alright, Cartwell, after practice

163. you give me ten laps around the school.

164. Yes, coach.

165. Alright, now let's take a look at this play.

166. Hey, yo, yo, yo, what's up? It's my squad.

167. Hey, yo, yo. Sorry I'm late, coach.

168. Hey, don't worry about it, Smith.

169. You just take it easy. Save that energy for the game.

170. But I was late, and I have to run ten laps.

171. Twenty laps. Now, shut up.

172. Alright, first play. Guard inbounds to the center.

173. Center moves down court, fakes right, passes to the forward.

174. - And what does he do? - Passes to Will?

175. Bingo.

176. Alright, second play. Jump ball. Ball is tipped to the center.

177. Center shuttles to the guard, back to the center

178. who hits to the forward and over to baseline..

179. - What does he do? - Passes to Will.

180. Yes!

181. Okay. Number three.

182. Forward inbounds from here bounce pass to the guard

183. who zips it back to the forward under the net.

184. What does he do?

185. If he's clear, he goes for the lay-up, otherwise

186. he passes it back to the guard.

187. Okay, Banks, not paying attention? Ten laps.

188. Not paying attention? Look at Will. He's asleep.

189. Mind your own business, Banks. That's 20 laps.

190. 'NBA star Isaiah Thomas is used to having things his own way.'

191. 'But not today.'

192. - How do you do it, Prince? - Hey, easy, Isaiah.

193. 'Air Fresh gym shoes. Just pass it to Will.'

194. Hi, pumpkin. Hi, love.

195. - Hi. - Is Will home yet?

196. He's outside playing basketball with Carlton.

197. 'Come on, Will. Now let me down.'

198. Will, come in here a minute, please?

199. What's going on?

200. Well, I've been thinking about what you said

201. you know, about Will and I finding some common ground.

202. - Good. - Well..

203. The firm has season tickets for the Laker game

204. so I pulled in for tonight, I thought we could go.

205. Oh, Philip, what a great idea. He'll love it.

206. Thank you.

207. Hey, Uncle Phil, thanks for putting the hoop

208. up on the garage, man.

209. It's really helping my lay-ups, dad.

210. Come on out, I'll show you.

211. Sounds great, Carlton.

212. But in a minute, okay?

213. - Oh, you wanted to talk to me? - Yeah, well..

214. Um, I have two tickets to

215. the Lakers game tonight, how'd you like to come?

216. Yo, word, I'm with that, you know.

217. Give the Laker girls an opportunity

218. to check out a future Laker.

219. Yeah, right.

220. So, son, you wanna show me those lay-ups?

221. Maybe a little bit later.

222. Actually, I've got some studying to do.

223. Okay, well, what, after dinner?

224. Okay.

225. Uncle Phil, wanna shoot a couple of hoops?

226. Sure. Did I ever tell you how my high school

227. basketball team win the state championship?

228. I made the final basket right at the buzzer.

229. - That's decent. - Yeah.

230. - Hi, Carlton. - Hi, Hilary.

231. Uh, Hilary, can I ask you something?

232. Sure.

233. How was I in the basketball game last Friday?

234. You were great, I mean

235. you didn't make any baskets or anything

236. but you looked cute in your uniform.

237. I think it's great how you don't get it too sweaty.

238. I guess it's 'cause you don't run too fast. Smart move.

239. Did dad mention me during the game?

240. Oh, yeah, he did turn around to the guy behind him once and say

241. "Shut up. That's my son you're talking about."

242. - Oh. - It's Will, isn't it?

243. No. No, no. It's-it's not.

244. Carlton..

245. Talk to me.

246. Look, it's ridiculous to compare yourself to Will.

247. You're captain of the debate team, a straight A student..

248. You're leader of the Glee club.

249. So what if Will's good at basketball.

250. Thanks, Hilary. That means a lot to me.

251. And besides, if that basket were, like, two feet lower..

252. you'd be just as good as he is.

253. Geoffrey, I'm surprised you decided to come.

254. - You're not a basketball fan. - True, madam.

255. But I've found that any game can be made interesting

256. if you put a little money on it.

257. - You bet on this game? - $50 says Bel-Air wins it.

258. Who'd take that bet?

259. You rang, beautiful?

260. Jazz, you bet against Will?

261. Yeah. He screws up, I'm loaded.

262. Students, parents, alumni

263. let me introduce our beloved coach

264. Herb Smiley.

265. Thank you. Thank you.

266. I see a lot of new faces out here tonight.

267. Faces I didn't see when we were losing.

268. People who did not support this team in its darkest hour.

269. Well, all I can say is, I don't blame you one bit.

270. Half the time, I didn't wanna be at those games.

271. And quite frankly, I usually ducked out a little early.

272. But that's all gonna change tonight

273. because of our new superstar..

274. Will Smith.

275. - Will! - Will!

276. 'With seven seconds remaining, Bel-Air is down by two points'

277. 'and calls a time out.'

278. Alright, men, our only hope for winning this game

279. is by shooting a three pointer. So here's the plan.

280. Cartwell, you inbound to Hunt.

281. - Okay, Hunt, what do you do? - Shoot for the three-pointer?

282. Very funny. That'll be ten laps, chowderhead.

283. - Now, what's the right answer? - Pass it to Will.

284. Alright. Now, let's do it.

285. One, two, three, Bel-Air!

286. Oh, my God.

287. - Oh! - Yes! Yeah.

288. Thirty, forty, fifty!

289. - There. - Thanks, man.

290. Nice doing business with you.

291. Oh, Mr. Jazz, the world snooker championship

292. is coming on the sports station in a few moments.

293. Would you, uh, care to place a wager?

294. - I don't know anything snooker. - Don't worry.

295. I'll tell you everything you need to know.

296. Hey, Carlton, I'm goin' out to shoot some hoops, man.

297. So, if you'd like to practice some new and more spectacular

298. ways to lose a game, please join me.

299. - Put that down. - Put what down?

300. - My basketball. - Your basketball?

301. Uh, excuse me, your name is "Spalding?"

302. Dad gave it to me for my birthday three years ago.

303. - It's my ball. Give it. - Why you in such a bad mood?

304. You should be the happiest guy in the world.

305. Yeah? Why?

306. 'Cause you got out of that locker room alive.

307. Yo, man, Coach Smiley was upset.

308. Boy, you're lucky that was just a starter's pistol.

309. I was trying to win the game.

310. No, you weren't. You're just trying to be the hero.

311. Somebody else can be the hero besides you all the time.

312. Look, let's get something straight, Carlton.

313. I been here for two months, alright.

314. I've been getting yelled at at home

315. screamed at at school

316. I've been sent to detention, I've been grounded

317. I've been threatened with expulsion

318. on almost a daily basis.

319. I finally do something I get credit for, you can't take it!

320. Well, yo, man, I got news for you.

321. I ain't about to sell myself short

322. just to make you feel better. Grow up.

323. You're the one who should grow up

324. hogging the ball every chance you get!

325. - Man, I wasn't hogging nothing. - Yeah, you were hogging the—

326. Okay, you two.

327. What's this all about?

328. Carlton doesn't want me to use his basketball

329. 'cause he's afraid I might get it in the basket.

330. Will you two start acting your age?

331. What I saw on that basketball court tonight was a disgrace.

332. If I had made that last shot, I'd be the hero right now.

333. Carlton, the fact that you missed the shot

334. wasn't a disgrace.

335. You stole the ball from a member of your own team.

336. Yeah, and if you'd passed it to me, we would've won.

337. - Oh, you would, huh? - Of course.

338. Man, I can make that shot with my eyes closed

339. and one hand tied behind my back.

340. Uh-huh, was that gonna be your next trick?

341. 'Cause you were like a one-man circus out there.

342. Uncle Phil, the coach told the team to pass the ball to me.

343. Uh-huh, and did he tell you to woof at the crowd

344. kiss the cheerleader between plays

345. and shoot the ball backwards?

346. Well, no, I came up with all that fly stuff myself.

347. That wasn't fly, Will.

348. A real star plays with the team.

349. Maybe you should think about that.

350. Carlton, can I ask you something?

351. Sure.

352. When you stole the ball from Will and tried to make that

353. Hail Mary shot, what were you thinking about?

354. - I don't know. - Really?

355. Well..

356. I guess I was just thinking of the first game Will won

357. and how you ran out on the court and you were so proud of him.

358. I guess I just thought it would be cool if it happened to me.

359. Carlton, you don't have to be a hero.

360. I'm proud that you're out there giving it all you got.

361. You started coming to games when Will joined the team.

362. I wanted to support him.

363. But you wouldn't come when it was just me.

364. Carlton..

365. I'd like to come to everything you do.

366. I always come to your tennis games, to your debate matches

367. to your, uh, your Glee club concerts.

368. Frankly, keeping up with your extracurricular activities

369. is a 24-hour-a-day job.

370. Did I mention I was elected editor of the yearbook?

371. I didn't mean to slight you.

372. But I can't slight Will either.

373. His mother is 3000 miles away.

374. He needs a cheering section as much as you do.

375. Maybe more.

376. I'm gonna head up. Goodnight, son.

377. Goodnight, dad.

378. - Hey, Will. - Yeah?

379. Here.