1. Excuse me.
Copy !req
2. Girl, I hope these Greek clowns
clean up after themselves.
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3. A bunch of messy,
inconsiderate children.
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4. So, which house
are you joining?
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5. Girl, I ain't into
that frat stuff.
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6. It's for a bunch of
pocket-protector-wearing
Copy !req
7. and no-social-life-
having losers.
Copy !req
8. Let the pledging begin.
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9. The defense rests,
your honor.
Copy !req
10. Carlton,
will thinks fraternities
Copy !req
11. are a waste of time.
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12. Maybe for him,
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13. but the more activities
I'm involved in,
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14. the better I'll look
to Princeton.
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15. Besides, these guys
know how to have fun.
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16. ow.
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17. "Revenge of the nerds,
part six."
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18. where's, like,
a big gong
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19. when you need one,
you know?
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20. Ah-ooh!
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21. Make way for the brothers
of phi beta gamma.
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22. ah.
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23. Ah-hoo.
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24. Ah-hoo.
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25. Ah-hoo. Ah-hoo.
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26. Ah-hoo.
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27. Ah-hoo.
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28. Ah-hoo. Ah-hoo.
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29. Ooh-hoo!
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30. Man!
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31. Hey, I guess that's
a tough choice,
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32. huh, Carlton?
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33. I'll say.
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34. Can I hear yours again?
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35. well, my gold card
has a hologram
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36. of Lee iacocca
on it.
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37. Excuse us, guys.
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38. It's time for
a negro moment.
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39. Um, Carlton,
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40. wouldn't you rather
join a fraternity
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41. where the guys
look more like you?
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42. I was.
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43. Didn't you notice
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44. we all had
alligator shirts on?
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45. What up,
Philly boy?
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46. What's up, man?
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47. I haven't seen you
at the courts lately.
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48. I miss our one-on-one.
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49. Oh, now, top dog,
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50. you know when
it's me against you
it's one-on-none.
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51. I can't play
on them tired courts
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52. y'all be playing on,
man.
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53. You haven't been
down there in a while.
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54. Me and brothers,
we raised money,
Copy !req
55. and we hooked them
rims up proper.
Copy !req
56. Oh, you're in
a fraternity?
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57. I thought
you had a life.
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58. Hey, man,
I run the fraternity.
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59. Hey, why don't you
check us out?
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60. Uh, nah, man.
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61. Fraternities
ain't my flavor.
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62. See you
at the frat tonight.
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63. But I will have
a double scoop
Copy !req
64. of that, though.
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65. Good God.
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66. Hey, hey,
we also do a lot of work
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67. for the community, brother,
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68. like visit down at
the senior center.
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69. And we also tutor kids
down at the juvenile hall.
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70. Oh, terrific.
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71. The Princeton people
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72. love to see community
service on applications.
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73. I wouldn't have to go down to
juvenile hall, would I?
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74. I hear those kids
are real troublemakers.
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75. We need a little humor
down at the frat house.
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76. Well, don't get
no littler
Copy !req
77. than cousin Carlton.
Copy !req
78. What's up, Carlton?
Top dog.
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79. Think about it,
Philly boy.
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80. You, too, cousin.
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81. Us brothers
need to stick together.
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82. Yes, sir.
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83. 26 years of marriage,
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84. and I find you in bed
with a cheerleader.
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85. Laslow, how could you?
Copy !req
86. Tune in tomorrow
for another episode of
Copy !req
87. all my fault.
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88. What a sleaze.
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89. I hope Mary dumps
laslow's sorry butt.
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90. Me, too. You think
she would've learned
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91. after he lied about
neutering the cat.
Copy !req
92. She hasn't been the same
Copy !req
93. since she had
that sex change.
Copy !req
94. I guess you're
right about that.
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95. Listen
to yourselves.
Copy !req
96. You're caught up
in the lives
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97. of make-believe
characters.
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98. Tell you what,
mom.
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99. I'll watch
the baby.
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100. Go to a museum,
and, uh...
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101. Take hilary
with you.
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102. The only reason
we get involved
Copy !req
103. in this kind of stuff
is that real life
Copy !req
104. sometimes is
kind of boring.
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105. What's that?
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106. Harley-Davidson
58 pan head.
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107. I used to date
a biker.
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108. Whoo!
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109. Was that a ride,
Copy !req
110. or was that
a ride?
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111. Great.
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112. Maybe next time
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113. we can actually
hit second gear.
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114. Philip...
Copy !req
115. What's going on?
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116. What does it
look like, Vivian?
Copy !req
117. It looks like a bunch
of middle-aged men
with too much time.
Copy !req
118. Hey...
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119. We're bikers.
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120. Dan...
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121. You're
an accountant.
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122. Uh,
got a moment...
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123. Fonzie?
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124. Are you crazy?
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125. I told you I was going to
buy a bike someday.
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126. You also told me
you were going to
lose 50 pounds.
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127. A motorbike
is so dangerous.
Copy !req
128. Look at it
this way, sweetheart.
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129. If I take a fall,
I have a 50-pound cushion.
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130. Honey, you've also
got an infant son
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131. who needs you...
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132. In one piece.
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133. I don't see Dan's
wife giving him
Copy !req
134. any heat over this.
Copy !req
135. From what Helen tells me,
she ain't giving him any
heat anywhere else either.
Copy !req
136. Oh, you women
discuss that?
Copy !req
137. You'd be surprised
what we talk about.
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138. Honey, be reasonable.
Copy !req
139. Get off
the midlife crisis highway
Copy !req
140. and come home.
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141. Oh, yeah,
I can't wait to see
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142. your first hot flash.
Copy !req
143. Uncle Phil,
what's up with the bike?
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144. Look, I bought me
a motorcycle,
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145. it was my decision,
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146. I don't want to
hear anymore.
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147. Must be that
midlife crisis thing
Copy !req
148. aunt viv
warned us about.
Copy !req
149. So, uh...
Copy !req
150. How are things
at school?
Copy !req
151. Great.
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152. Dad, I'm thinking of
pledging phi beta gamma.
Copy !req
153. Oh, judge Morton
is a gamma.
Copy !req
154. And he's also
an alcoholic.
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155. No.
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156. That's judge Martin.
Copy !req
157. Yeah, so,
that's great, son.
Copy !req
158. You're a real
college man now, huh?
Copy !req
159. Thanks, dad.
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160. I think I'm going
to go take my nap.
Copy !req
161. So, I take it
you're not pledging.
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162. Oh, nah.
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163. You know,
Uncle Phil,
Copy !req
164. I got a reputation
more as a free spirit.
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165. Mmm.
You know, will,
Copy !req
166. I wouldn't sell fraternity
life short.
Copy !req
167. Might get something
out of it.
Copy !req
168. True. They do a lot
of work in the community.
Copy !req
169. The gammas are a good group.
Why don't try?
Copy !req
170. Well, the frat leader
does need a little help
Copy !req
171. with his jumping.
Copy !req
172. Maybe I'll join
as a, like, a mercy thing.
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173. That's great.
Copy !req
174. So, hop on.
I'll take you
for a ride.
Copy !req
175. That's cool.
Copy !req
176. But you better not try none
of that run-out-of-gas stuff,
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177. mister.
Copy !req
178. Pledges...
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179. On behalf
of the brothers
of phi beta gamma,
Copy !req
180. I welcome you.
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181. The journey
begins.
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182. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just relax, Magellan.
Copy !req
183. Alright,
at this time,
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184. I'd like to turn it over
to big brother top dog,
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185. your pledge leader.
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186. Attention!
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187. Busters...
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188. I hope you like
your new uniforms.
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189. You will be wearing them
for a week.
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190. Um, excuse me,
Mr. top dog, sir.
Copy !req
191. Pledge banks,
you only speak
Copy !req
192. when you are
spoken to.
Copy !req
193. Well, are you
speaking to me now,
Copy !req
194. or are you...
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195. Shh.
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196. I'm sorry, will, but I think
everyone here will agree
Copy !req
197. that wearing the same thing
for a week is not good hygiene.
Copy !req
198. Right, fellas?
Copy !req
199. So pledge banks
likes to wash clothes.
Copy !req
200. Actually,
Copy !req
201. my Butler
handles the laundry.
Copy !req
202. Your Butler?
Copy !req
203. Yes. Geoffrey.
Copy !req
204. He's a whiz
with my fine washables.
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205. Pledge banks,
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206. where are you from?
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207. Bel-air.
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208. South central bel-air.
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209. I live
right across the street
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210. from the Aaron spelling
mansion.
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211. You know,
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212. the producer of
Beverly hills, 90210.
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213. I don't watch it.
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214. You don't know
what you're missing.
Copy !req
215. Dylan's on the verge
of getting back with Brenda.
Copy !req
216. And you are on the verge
Copy !req
217. of making a fool
out of yourself.
Copy !req
218. They really getting
back together, though?
Copy !req
219. It looks like to me
our floor needs
a little scrub.
Copy !req
220. And a wax
and a Polish, too,
Copy !req
221. I might add.
Copy !req
222. That's a good idea,
pledge banks.
Copy !req
223. Pledges, get busy.
Copy !req
224. And you can thank
pledge banks
Copy !req
225. for doubling
your work load.
Copy !req
226. No need to thank him
all at once, fellas.
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227. What's up
with that fool?
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228. Who?
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229. Who?
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230. Will's cousin,
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231. the brother
from another planet.
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232. Come on, now, dog,
you hardly know the guy.
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233. I know all
I need to know.
Copy !req
234. I'm going to teach him
the true meaning
Copy !req
235. of hell week.
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236. Hello, you poor
excuses for pledges.
Copy !req
237. Greetings,
big brother top dog
Copy !req
238. of phi beta gamma.
Copy !req
239. Today we're splitting up
into groups.
Copy !req
240. I'm taking Philly boy
and money bags to block.
Copy !req
241. Hey, we're going to play
Hollywood squares.
Copy !req
242. hey, Carlton...
Copy !req
243. Do you realize
Copy !req
244. that they're
working you harder
Copy !req
245. than everybody else?
Copy !req
246. Oh, nonsense.
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247. Everyone had to help
re-tar the parking lot.
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248. Yeah, but the rest of us
got to wear shoes.
Copy !req
249. It'll all be worth it
Copy !req
250. when I hear them
call me "brother."
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251. Ah...
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252. I gotta tell you, top dog, I
don't like what you're doing
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253. with brother banks.
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254. I didn't ask you.
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255. Laslow,
how could you?
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256. Mary,
I couldn't help myself.
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257. Well, Ashley,
the museum closed?
Copy !req
258. I had no idea how much
Mary was suffering.
Copy !req
259. Damn that laslow.
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260. Ashley,
he doesn't know
Copy !req
261. how much his actions
Copy !req
262. are hurting the people
who love him.
Copy !req
263. That's because he's
selfish and self-centered.
Copy !req
264. I see your mother's
been poisoning your minds.
Copy !req
265. Vivian...
Copy !req
266. Look, I've, uh,
come to my senses.
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267. The bike is gone.
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268. It is?
Copy !req
269. Yes, sweetheart.
Copy !req
270. Motorcycles
and black leather
Copy !req
271. will never make me
feel as young
Copy !req
272. as the love
of a good woman.
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273. With you by my side,
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274. I will never
grow old.
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275. I love you.
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276. Oh, sir,
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277. the body shop called.
Copy !req
278. They said your motorcycle
is completely totaled.
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279. Thank you,
Geoffrey.
Copy !req
280. Oh, and the
insurance company
Copy !req
281. said you're covered
for the damages
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282. to the ice cream
truck
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283. but have to pay
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284. for that box
of eskimo pies
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285. you ate.
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286. I said
thank you, Geoffrey.
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287. My pleasure, sir.
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288. Would there be anything else? My
favorite soap is about to start.
Copy !req
289. What would that be?
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290. One life to ruin?
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291. Sir...
Copy !req
292. W-well, if I told
you the truth,
Copy !req
293. you would've said
"I told you so."
Copy !req
294. Try me.
Copy !req
295. O.K., well...
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296. I—I accidentally
left the bike in gear,
Copy !req
297. and it ran into
a Mr. icy pop truck.
Copy !req
298. I knew that bike
was dangerous.
Copy !req
299. That's
an "I told you so."
Copy !req
300. It's not.
Is too.
Copy !req
301. Philip, what do
you want from me?
Copy !req
302. I don't know.
Copy !req
303. A kiss?
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304. I broke my bike.
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305. Ooh, ooh, ooh,
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306. ooh, ooh.
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307. Ooh.
Copy !req
308. Here I go.
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309. Ladies,
let the games begin.
Copy !req
310. Don't you think
it's cruel for them
Copy !req
311. to have a party before they tell
us whether we're in or not?
Copy !req
312. Well, of course
it's cruel, Carlton.
Copy !req
313. But look on
the bright side.
Copy !req
314. Next year we do it
to somebody else.
Copy !req
315. You really think
we made it?
Copy !req
316. Look, man,
whether we did or not,
Copy !req
317. you hung in there,
and I'm proud of you.
Copy !req
318. You're proud of me?
You've never
said that to me
Copy !req
319. before in my life.
Copy !req
320. Give me a hug.
Copy !req
321. You see, man?
That is exactly why
Copy !req
322. I don't never
tell you nothing.
Copy !req
323. Go ahead. Go ahead.
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324. Go ahead.
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325. Mmm.
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326. Uh...
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327. Girl...
Copy !req
328. If God made anything
prettier than you,
Copy !req
329. I hope he kept it
for himself.
Copy !req
330. O.K.
Copy !req
331. Yo, dog,
Copy !req
332. did you see baby?
Copy !req
333. Yo, she was fine.
Copy !req
334. That's just the tip
of the iceberg, my brother.
Copy !req
335. Well, then mush,
you huskies.
Copy !req
336. Top dog, do you think
the d.J. Has any
Copy !req
337. rod Stewart
or Neil diamond?
Copy !req
338. Gee, Carlton,
I don't know.
Copy !req
339. The last time
we played them,
Copy !req
340. the party just
kind of got out of hand.
Copy !req
341. I know what you mean.
You should see what happens
Copy !req
342. at their concerts.
Copy !req
343. Yo, homey,
I'm not supposed
to say anything, but...
Copy !req
344. You have nothing
to worry about.
Copy !req
345. You're in.
Copy !req
346. Your word?
Me and Carlton got in?
Copy !req
347. Well, not exactly.
Copy !req
348. I mean,
you're cool and all,
Copy !req
349. but Carlton...
Copy !req
350. Well, he's not
exactly our type.
Copy !req
351. Say, wh-what do you mean
Copy !req
352. "not our type"?
Copy !req
353. Well, Carlton is not
like you and me.
Copy !req
354. You know
what I'm saying?
Copy !req
355. No, I don't know
what you're saying.
Copy !req
356. Will, Carlton doesn't
exactly exemplify
Copy !req
357. what I think
a phi beta gamma is.
Copy !req
358. Oh, and...
Copy !req
359. And what is that?
Copy !req
360. It's not
Ralph Lauren shirts
Copy !req
361. and wingtipped shoes
and corporate America.
Copy !req
362. We don't need
a brother like him
in this fraternity.
Copy !req
363. Man, he is exactly
what you need
Copy !req
364. in this fraternity.
Copy !req
365. Carlton has been a straight-a
student since preschool.
Copy !req
366. He gives you
150% every time.
Copy !req
367. Look, will,
I realize he's your cousin
Copy !req
368. and you have
to defend him,
Copy !req
369. but this discussion
is closed.
Copy !req
370. Hmm.
Copy !req
371. Alright.
Copy !req
372. Carl—
Copy !req
373. Carlton, Carlton,
Copy !req
374. Carlton...
Copy !req
375. Come on, man.
Let's go.
Copy !req
376. I didn't get in.
Copy !req
377. What? Why?
Copy !req
378. Look, I don't know, man.
Come on. Just let's go.
Copy !req
379. How dare you
not take will?
Copy !req
380. He's full
of potential.
Copy !req
381. That's why
we want him.
Copy !req
382. It's you
we don't want.
Copy !req
383. Me?
Copy !req
384. But I did everything.
Copy !req
385. I cooked,
I cleaned,
Copy !req
386. I hand washed
your toilets.
Copy !req
387. Everything
your Butler does for you.
Copy !req
388. I'm not accepting
no prep school,
Copy !req
389. bel-air-bred sellout
into my fraternity.
Copy !req
390. Homey, you can
stop all that.
Copy !req
391. No, wait, will.
Copy !req
392. I got this one.
Copy !req
393. You think
I'm a sellout.
Copy !req
394. Why?
Copy !req
395. Because I live
in a big house
Copy !req
396. or I dress
a certain way?
Copy !req
397. Or maybe it's because
I like Barry manilow?
Copy !req
398. Yo, he—he meant
Barry white, y'all.
Copy !req
399. Being black isn't what
I'm trying to be.
Copy !req
400. It's what I am.
Copy !req
401. I'm running
the same race
Copy !req
402. and jumping the same
hurdles you are,
Copy !req
403. so why are you
tripping me up?
Copy !req
404. You said we need
to stick together,
Copy !req
405. but you don't even
know what that means.
Copy !req
406. You ask me,
you're the real sellout.
Copy !req
407. Yeah,
Copy !req
408. that's right, boy.
Copy !req
409. And in the words of
my illustrious cousin,
Copy !req
410. we will make like
a tree and leave.
Copy !req
411. Hey, look,
Copy !req
412. you don't speak
for the rest of us, dog.
Copy !req
413. I'm going to have you
kicked out of here.
Copy !req
414. Make like a tree
and leave?
Copy !req
415. I never say that.
Copy !req
416. It's make like a banana
and split.
Copy !req
417. I'll keep that in mind,
alright?
Copy !req
418. Laslow,
how could you?
Copy !req
419. Get over it, Mary.
Copy !req
420. I'm leaving you...
Copy !req
421. For your brother.
Copy !req
422. Ooh. Ooh.
Ooh. Ooh.
Copy !req
423. Oh, you-you've got to
tape this for me tomorrow.
Copy !req
424. Damn that laslow.
Copy !req
425. Hey, we looking at the
newest phi beta gammas?
Copy !req
426. No. Apparently I'm not
enough of a brother
Copy !req
427. to be a brother.
Copy !req
428. What?
Copy !req
429. The pledge leader said
he didn't like sellouts.
Copy !req
430. Well, who does?
I mean, you wait
and wait and wait.
Copy !req
431. When you finally get to
the front of the line,
everything's gone?
Copy !req
432. You know, this...
Copy !req
433. This really
irritates me.
Copy !req
434. I have
worked very hard
Copy !req
435. to give my family
a good life,
Copy !req
436. and suddenly
somebody tells me
Copy !req
437. there's a penalty
for success?
Copy !req
438. I'm sorry you had to
go through this, son.
Copy !req
439. When are we going to stop
doing this to each other?
Copy !req
440. I wouldn't have to go down
to juvenile hall, would I?
Copy !req
441. I mean, I hear those
kids really are...
Copy !req
442. You know,
bad and messed up and—
Copy !req
443. excuse me.
Copy !req
444. Shh, shh.
Copy !req
445. Wow.
Copy !req
446. J-kamma...
Copy !req
447. The jamma gammas
are, uh...
Copy !req
448. The who?
The jamma gammas.
Copy !req
449. The bad mamma jammas.
Copy !req
450. The bad mamma jammas,
yeah.
Copy !req
451. I hope
Mary dumps that s-s...
Copy !req
452. See?
Copy !req
453. The—the...
Copy !req
454. The bad mamma jammas.
Copy !req
455. The bad mamma jammas.
Copy !req
456. Yeah, yeah.
Ok.
Copy !req