The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air 4x8

Directed by Chuck Vinson

Glenn Plummer as Top Dog • Tyra Banks as Jackie Ames • Mushond Lee as Orlando • Jermaine Montell as Pledgee • David Drew Gallagher as Nerdy Frat Guy

A bro with dough? Carlton's upper-class upbringing may make him unwelcome at a black fraternity.

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1. Excuse me.

2. Girl, I hope these Greek clowns clean up after themselves.

3. A bunch of messy, inconsiderate children.

4. So, which house are you joining?

5. Girl, I ain't into that frat stuff.

6. It's for a bunch of pocket-protector-wearing

7. and no-social-life- having losers.

8. Let the pledging begin.

9. The defense rests, your honor.

10. Carlton, will thinks fraternities

11. are a waste of time.

12. Maybe for him,

13. but the more activities I'm involved in,

14. the better I'll look to Princeton.

15. Besides, these guys know how to have fun.

16. ow.

17. "Revenge of the nerds, part six."

18. where's, like, a big gong

19. when you need one, you know?

20. Ah-ooh!

21. Make way for the brothers of phi beta gamma.

22. ah.

23. Ah-hoo.

24. Ah-hoo.

25. Ah-hoo. Ah-hoo.

26. Ah-hoo.

27. Ah-hoo.

28. Ah-hoo. Ah-hoo.

29. Ooh-hoo!

30. Man!

31. Hey, I guess that's a tough choice,

32. huh, Carlton?

33. I'll say.

34. Can I hear yours again?

35. well, my gold card has a hologram

36. of Lee iacocca on it.

37. Excuse us, guys.

38. It's time for a negro moment.

39. Um, Carlton,

40. wouldn't you rather join a fraternity

41. where the guys look more like you?

42. I was.

43. Didn't you notice

44. we all had alligator shirts on?

45. What up, Philly boy?

46. What's up, man?

47. I haven't seen you at the courts lately.

48. I miss our one-on-one.

49. Oh, now, top dog,

50. you know when it's me against you it's one-on-none.

51. I can't play on them tired courts

52. y'all be playing on, man.

53. You haven't been down there in a while.

54. Me and brothers, we raised money,

55. and we hooked them rims up proper.

56. Oh, you're in a fraternity?

57. I thought you had a life.

58. Hey, man, I run the fraternity.

59. Hey, why don't you check us out?

60. Uh, nah, man.

61. Fraternities ain't my flavor.

62. See you at the frat tonight.

63. But I will have a double scoop

64. of that, though.

65. Good God.

66. Hey, hey, we also do a lot of work

67. for the community, brother,

68. like visit down at the senior center.

69. And we also tutor kids down at the juvenile hall.

70. Oh, terrific.

71. The Princeton people

72. love to see community service on applications.

73. I wouldn't have to go down to juvenile hall, would I?

74. I hear those kids are real troublemakers.

75. We need a little humor down at the frat house.

76. Well, don't get no littler

77. than cousin Carlton.

78. What's up, Carlton? Top dog.

79. Think about it, Philly boy.

80. You, too, cousin.

81. Us brothers need to stick together.

82. Yes, sir.

83. 26 years of marriage,

84. and I find you in bed with a cheerleader.

85. Laslow, how could you?

86. Tune in tomorrow for another episode of

87. all my fault.

88. What a sleaze.

89. I hope Mary dumps laslow's sorry butt.

90. Me, too. You think she would've learned

91. after he lied about neutering the cat.

92. She hasn't been the same

93. since she had that sex change.

94. I guess you're right about that.

95. Listen to yourselves.

96. You're caught up in the lives

97. of make-believe characters.

98. Tell you what, mom.

99. I'll watch the baby.

100. Go to a museum, and, uh...

101. Take hilary with you.

102. The only reason we get involved

103. in this kind of stuff is that real life

104. sometimes is kind of boring.

105. What's that?

106. Harley-Davidson 58 pan head.

107. I used to date a biker.

108. Whoo!

109. Was that a ride,

110. or was that a ride?

111. Great.

112. Maybe next time

113. we can actually hit second gear.

114. Philip...

115. What's going on?

116. What does it look like, Vivian?

117. It looks like a bunch of middle-aged men with too much time.

118. Hey...

119. We're bikers.

120. Dan...

121. You're an accountant.

122. Uh, got a moment...

123. Fonzie?

124. Are you crazy?

125. I told you I was going to buy a bike someday.

126. You also told me you were going to lose 50 pounds.

127. A motorbike is so dangerous.

128. Look at it this way, sweetheart.

129. If I take a fall, I have a 50-pound cushion.

130. Honey, you've also got an infant son

131. who needs you...

132. In one piece.

133. I don't see Dan's wife giving him

134. any heat over this.

135. From what Helen tells me, she ain't giving him any heat anywhere else either.

136. Oh, you women discuss that?

137. You'd be surprised what we talk about.

138. Honey, be reasonable.

139. Get off the midlife crisis highway

140. and come home.

141. Oh, yeah, I can't wait to see

142. your first hot flash.

143. Uncle Phil, what's up with the bike?

144. Look, I bought me a motorcycle,

145. it was my decision,

146. I don't want to hear anymore.

147. Must be that midlife crisis thing

148. aunt viv warned us about.

149. So, uh...

150. How are things at school?

151. Great.

152. Dad, I'm thinking of pledging phi beta gamma.

153. Oh, judge Morton is a gamma.

154. And he's also an alcoholic.

155. No.

156. That's judge Martin.

157. Yeah, so, that's great, son.

158. You're a real college man now, huh?

159. Thanks, dad.

160. I think I'm going to go take my nap.

161. So, I take it you're not pledging.

162. Oh, nah.

163. You know, Uncle Phil,

164. I got a reputation more as a free spirit.

165. Mmm. You know, will,

166. I wouldn't sell fraternity life short.

167. Might get something out of it.

168. True. They do a lot of work in the community.

169. The gammas are a good group. Why don't try?

170. Well, the frat leader does need a little help

171. with his jumping.

172. Maybe I'll join as a, like, a mercy thing.

173. That's great.

174. So, hop on. I'll take you for a ride.

175. That's cool.

176. But you better not try none of that run-out-of-gas stuff,

177. mister.

178. Pledges...

179. On behalf of the brothers of phi beta gamma,

180. I welcome you.

181. The journey begins.

182. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just relax, Magellan.

183. Alright, at this time,

184. I'd like to turn it over to big brother top dog,

185. your pledge leader.

186. Attention!

187. Busters...

188. I hope you like your new uniforms.

189. You will be wearing them for a week.

190. Um, excuse me, Mr. top dog, sir.

191. Pledge banks, you only speak

192. when you are spoken to.

193. Well, are you speaking to me now,

194. or are you...

195. Shh.

196. I'm sorry, will, but I think everyone here will agree

197. that wearing the same thing for a week is not good hygiene.

198. Right, fellas?

199. So pledge banks likes to wash clothes.

200. Actually,

201. my Butler handles the laundry.

202. Your Butler?

203. Yes. Geoffrey.

204. He's a whiz with my fine washables.

205. Pledge banks,

206. where are you from?

207. Bel-air.

208. South central bel-air.

209. I live right across the street

210. from the Aaron spelling mansion.

211. You know,

212. the producer of Beverly hills, 90210.

213. I don't watch it.

214. You don't know what you're missing.

215. Dylan's on the verge of getting back with Brenda.

216. And you are on the verge

217. of making a fool out of yourself.

218. They really getting back together, though?

219. It looks like to me our floor needs a little scrub.

220. And a wax and a Polish, too,

221. I might add.

222. That's a good idea, pledge banks.

223. Pledges, get busy.

224. And you can thank pledge banks

225. for doubling your work load.

226. No need to thank him all at once, fellas.

227. What's up with that fool?

228. Who?

229. Who?

230. Will's cousin,

231. the brother from another planet.

232. Come on, now, dog, you hardly know the guy.

233. I know all I need to know.

234. I'm going to teach him the true meaning

235. of hell week.

236. Hello, you poor excuses for pledges.

237. Greetings, big brother top dog

238. of phi beta gamma.

239. Today we're splitting up into groups.

240. I'm taking Philly boy and money bags to block.

241. Hey, we're going to play Hollywood squares.

242. hey, Carlton...

243. Do you realize

244. that they're working you harder

245. than everybody else?

246. Oh, nonsense.

247. Everyone had to help re-tar the parking lot.

248. Yeah, but the rest of us got to wear shoes.

249. It'll all be worth it

250. when I hear them call me "brother."

251. Ah...

252. I gotta tell you, top dog, I don't like what you're doing

253. with brother banks.

254. I didn't ask you.

255. Laslow, how could you?

256. Mary, i couldn't help myself.

257. Well, Ashley, the museum closed?

258. I had no idea how much Mary was suffering.

259. Damn that laslow.

260. Ashley, he doesn't know

261. how much his actions

262. are hurting the people who love him.

263. That's because he's selfish and self-centered.

264. I see your mother's been poisoning your minds.

265. Vivian...

266. Look, I've, uh, come to my senses.

267. The bike is gone.

268. It is?

269. Yes, sweetheart.

270. Motorcycles and black leather

271. will never make me feel as young

272. as the love of a good woman.

273. With you by my side,

274. I will never grow old.

275. I love you.

276. Oh, sir,

277. the body shop called.

278. They said your motorcycle is completely totaled.

279. Thank you, Geoffrey.

280. Oh, and the insurance company

281. said you're covered for the damages

282. to the ice cream truck

283. but have to pay

284. for that box of eskimo pies

285. you ate.

286. I said thank you, Geoffrey.

287. My pleasure, sir.

288. Would there be anything else? My favorite soap is about to start.

289. What would that be?

290. One life to ruin?

291. Sir...

292. W-well, if I told you the truth,

293. you would've said "I told you so."

294. Try me.

295. O.K., well...

296. I—I accidentally left the bike in gear,

297. and it ran into a Mr. icy pop truck.

298. I knew that bike was dangerous.

299. That's an "I told you so."

300. It's not. Is too.

301. Philip, what do you want from me?

302. I don't know.

303. A kiss?

304. I broke my bike.

305. Ooh, ooh, ooh,

306. ooh, ooh.

307. Ooh.

308. Here I go.

309. Ladies, let the games begin.

310. Don't you think it's cruel for them

311. to have a party before they tell us whether we're in or not?

312. Well, of course it's cruel, Carlton.

313. But look on the bright side.

314. Next year we do it to somebody else.

315. You really think we made it?

316. Look, man, whether we did or not,

317. you hung in there, and I'm proud of you.

318. You're proud of me? You've never said that to me

319. before in my life.

320. Give me a hug.

321. You see, man? That is exactly why

322. I don't never tell you nothing.

323. Go ahead. Go ahead.

324. Go ahead.

325. Mmm.

326. Uh...

327. Girl...

328. If God made anything prettier than you,

329. I hope he kept it for himself.

330. O.K.

331. Yo, dog,

332. did you see baby?

333. Yo, she was fine.

334. That's just the tip of the iceberg, my brother.

335. Well, then mush, you huskies.

336. Top dog, do you think the d.J. Has any

337. rod Stewart or Neil diamond?

338. Gee, Carlton, I don't know.

339. The last time we played them,

340. the party just kind of got out of hand.

341. I know what you mean. You should see what happens

342. at their concerts.

343. Yo, homey, I'm not supposed to say anything, but...

344. You have nothing to worry about.

345. You're in.

346. Your word? Me and Carlton got in?

347. Well, not exactly.

348. I mean, you're cool and all,

349. but Carlton...

350. Well, he's not exactly our type.

351. Say, wh-what do you mean

352. "not our type"?

353. Well, Carlton is not like you and me.

354. You know what I'm saying?

355. No, I don't know what you're saying.

356. Will, Carlton doesn't exactly exemplify

357. what I think a phi beta gamma is.

358. Oh, and...

359. And what is that?

360. It's not Ralph Lauren shirts

361. and wingtipped shoes and corporate America.

362. We don't need a brother like him in this fraternity.

363. Man, he is exactly what you need

364. in this fraternity.

365. Carlton has been a straight-a student since preschool.

366. He gives you 150% every time.

367. Look, will, I realize he's your cousin

368. and you have to defend him,

369. but this discussion is closed.

370. Hmm.

371. Alright.

372. Carl—

373. Carlton, Carlton,

374. Carlton...

375. Come on, man. Let's go.

376. I didn't get in.

377. What? Why?

378. Look, I don't know, man. Come on. Just let's go.

379. How dare you not take will?

380. He's full of potential.

381. That's why we want him.

382. It's you we don't want.

383. Me?

384. But I did everything.

385. I cooked, I cleaned,

386. I hand washed your toilets.

387. Everything your Butler does for you.

388. I'm not accepting no prep school,

389. bel-air-bred sellout into my fraternity.

390. Homey, you can stop all that.

391. No, wait, will.

392. I got this one.

393. You think I'm a sellout.

394. Why?

395. Because I live in a big house

396. or I dress a certain way?

397. Or maybe it's because I like Barry manilow?

398. Yo, he—he meant Barry white, y'all.

399. Being black isn't what I'm trying to be.

400. It's what I am.

401. I'm running the same race

402. and jumping the same hurdles you are,

403. so why are you tripping me up?

404. You said we need to stick together,

405. but you don't even know what that means.

406. You ask me, you're the real sellout.

407. Yeah,

408. that's right, boy.

409. And in the words of my illustrious cousin,

410. we will make like a tree and leave.

411. Hey, look,

412. you don't speak for the rest of us, dog.

413. I'm going to have you kicked out of here.

414. Make like a tree and leave?

415. I never say that.

416. It's make like a banana and split.

417. I'll keep that in mind, alright?

418. Laslow, how could you?

419. Get over it, Mary.

420. I'm leaving you...

421. For your brother.

422. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh.

423. Oh, you-you've got to tape this for me tomorrow.

424. Damn that laslow.

425. Hey, we looking at the newest phi beta gammas?

426. No. Apparently I'm not enough of a brother

427. to be a brother.

428. What?

429. The pledge leader said he didn't like sellouts.

430. Well, who does? I mean, you wait and wait and wait.

431. When you finally get to the front of the line, everything's gone?

432. You know, this...

433. This really irritates me.

434. I have worked very hard

435. to give my family a good life,

436. and suddenly somebody tells me

437. there's a penalty for success?

438. I'm sorry you had to go through this, son.

439. When are we going to stop doing this to each other?

440. I wouldn't have to go down to juvenile hall, would I?

441. I mean, I hear those kids really are...

442. You know, bad and messed up and—

443. excuse me.

444. Shh, shh.

445. Wow.

446. J-kamma...

447. The jamma gammas are, uh...

448. The who? The jamma gammas.

449. The bad mamma jammas.

450. The bad mamma jammas, yeah.

451. I hope Mary dumps that s-s...

452. See?

453. The—the...

454. The bad mamma jammas.

455. The bad mamma jammas.

456. Yeah, yeah. Ok.