The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air 4x23

Directed by Madeline Cripe

Kenya Moore as Dana • Karen Malina White as Jewel Robertson • Pat Crawford Brown as Nurse • DJ Jazzy Jeff as Jazz • Eddie Gorodetsky as Mr. Considine

Say, homie, could you do me a favor? Just-married Jazz makes a surprising request of Will.

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1. Yo yo! What's up? This is will.

2. I can't get to the phone right now.

3. I've kind of got my hands full.

4. So, leave a message,

5. unless this is Carlton, in which case, don't.

6. Will, it's Carlton.

7. It's an emergency.

8. Will, we just finished dinner,

9. and I think I left my wallet on the dresser, so—

10. Oh, it was just a wrong number, baby.

11. Now, where was I?

12. Oh, there I was.

13. Look, munchkin, a romantic dinner for two.

14. Jazzy, maybe we should revise our plans.

15. You're right, my pet. Let's unpack after we eat.

16. captioning made possible by Warner bros.

17. And I told the landlord, "I don't want you repainting our apartment.

18. Those stains have memories."

19. Excuse me, just...

20. look, man, you know mi casa es su casa.

21. But, look, tonight, mi casa es mi casa.

22. ¿El comprende, negro?

23. That's ok, will. I think I better go.

24. Wait. Hey, hey, hey, baby.

25. Come on, you ain't got to do that.

26. Oh, yes, I do. I'm really hungry.

27. I'll get us a rotisserie goin' here in six minutes.

28. Well, you've done it again, haven't you?

29. My munchkin, perhaps our visit is a little ill-timed.

30. Don't worry. Me and Jill could sleep out on a park bench.

31. I hear rain is nature's moisturizer.

32. Look, y'all might as well just stay.

33. Y'all done messed everything up already, anyway.

34. Thanks for hanging up on me, will.

35. I ended up getting thrown out of the restaurant,

36. and then I got a ticket for driving without a license.

37. What are they doing here?

38. Jazz's apartment is getting repainted.

39. Oh, like I care.

40. Look, I'm going to my room,

41. putting on my jammies,

42. and calling it a d-a-y.

43. Either his head's getting smaller

44. or his butt's getting bigger.

45. Aah!

46. There's a whole army of these action figures around my bed.

47. They're fertility gods, Carlton.

48. Ohh!

49. Uhh!

50. Y'all trying to have a baby?

51. Just 'cause jazzy and me are away from the marital bed

52. don't mean we ain't going to...

53. hey! Whoa, whoa! Hey, guys!

54. Hey, listen...

55. You know, I'm all for this,

56. you know, being fruitful and multiplying thing,

57. but it's kind of close quarters here, so you think y'all

58. could put a boom schocka lock on it for a minute?

59. I'd like to accommodate you, my brother, but we're on a mission.

60. Not on my posturepedic, bub.

61. Listen, jazz, man, look, I'm real happy for you and your wife, man,

62. but you think this mission can get scrubbed for a minute,

63. at least till your rocket is back on its own launching pad?

64. The doctor at the clinic says this is when I'm at my most fertile.

65. Which reminds me, sweetie, I took my temperature.

66. All systems go.

67. Permission to board the mothership?

68. Yeah.

69. Yeah.

70. Oh, no, you don't!

71. There'll be no boarding of any kind, Mr. and Mrs.--

72. what the heck is your last name, anyway?

73. Hey, that's my bed!

74. Oh, relax. I'll get you some new Barney sheets.

75. I cannot believe they at it again.

76. Man, they are not human.

77. Hey, jazz, this ain't funny, man!

78. I command you to stop!

79. Roll away from the woman!

80. I can't take this anymore.

81. I'm going to go sleep with mom and dad.

82. Careful Uncle Phil doesn't roll over on you again.

83. Well, the little darling's fast asleep.

84. You sure you didn't kill her?

85. I realize what an inconvenience we've been.

86. But since you ain't get us no wedding present,

87. I figure this is the least you could do.

88. What are you talking about, man? I gave you a wedding!

89. Pssh! Take that to the bank.

90. Look, will, making a baby is a truly blessed event.

91. I think you mean having a baby, jazz.

92. Trust me on this.

93. Look, will, my jewel's fondest dream

94. is to have a child of her own.

95. I love her.

96. She's my delicate little flower.

97. Yo, crank it up!

98. Hey, take it easy in there. We're not insured.

99. I don't think it's a very good idea

100. for jazz and jewel to reproduce.

101. Right, big guy, the prisons are crowded enough.

102. If jazz and jewel want to bring a child into this world,

103. who are we to judge? We're not exactly perfect.

104. Hello?

105. So, have you kids shopped for mother's day?

106. Oh, I'm afraid I haven't had a chance

107. to buy their gifts yet.

108. I'll get to the mall right after lunch.

109. Geoffrey is picking out your mother's day presents?

110. Of course not, big guy. We told him exactly what to get.

111. Oh, yes, down to the very last detail, sir.

112. Let's see, there's "some kind of perfume

113. or something" from miss hilary,

114. "a book might be neat" from miss Ashley,

115. and "here's 20 bucks, and I expect some change back"

116. from master Carlton.

117. I can't believe you kids.

118. How do you think your mother's gonna feel

119. when she finds out you didn't do your own shopping?

120. I have no problem with my own shopping.

121. Uncle Phil, I got my mom something she's going to love.

122. She always wanted to get my baby shoes bronzed, but she never got around to it,

123. so I hooked her up.

124. Those are your baby shoes?

125. Well, yeah. I had big feet.

126. You know what they say about a guy with big feet.

127. No, what?

128. Ahem.

129. They be— they be saying, "damn, you got some big feet."

130. Well, as much as it pains me to admit it,

131. will's got the right idea.

132. This year, I want you to pick out something

133. handpicked, personal, and from the heart.

134. Now, you go out there and shop!

135. Yeah, that's right.

136. Feel ashamed of your sorry selves.

137. "Feel ashamed of your sorry selves."

138. Eloquent, sirs.

139. Makes me want to do something special for Mrs. banks myself.

140. So you don't want me to get the usual dozen roses, sir?

141. No, that's good enough.

142. Hey, will.

143. Oh, hey. I'm surprised y'all can walk.

144. Your levity is inappropriate.

145. We've been at the free clinic all morning

146. to find out why my oven is as yet bunless.

147. Come on, y'all haven't been baking long.

148. Hey, and I'm sure if you stick with that recipe,

149. get all the ingredients mixed up in there and everything—

150. how can you think about food at a time like this?

151. I mean, we ain't never going to have a baby,

152. 'cause my little soldiers ain't marching.

153. Bummer.

154. Jazz, didn't I tell you to not be wearing them bikini drawers?

155. You told me not to wear them in the streets,

156. Look, all right. Look, you know what? It's probably just stress.

157. Yeah, yeah. You know, I'm sure that's what it is, man.

158. I mean, y'all just got married,

159. you always running from the law. You know what?

160. Why don't you go to another free clinic, get a second opinion.

161. We can't afford another free clinic.

162. Um, jazz, look,

163. I'm really sorry for you, man.

164. I mean, hey, at least y'all tried.

165. I never heard two people try harder.

166. Don't try to comfort me, will.

167. I'm un... Comfortable.

168. Hey...

169. I'm sorry. If there's anything I could do...

170. As a matter of fact, there is.

171. Whatever it is, just let me know.

172. You really mean that, will?

173. I want your little soldiers.

174. So, what do you think? Can I have your baby? I'd really appreciate it.

175. Aaaahhh!

176. Jewel, come on. You are my best friend's wife.

177. As much as that excites me,

178. I think I better pass.

179. I don't want your body, will.

180. I want your... Little soldiers.

181. Do I look like the u.N.?

182. Jewel, if jazz ever found out about this, it would kill him.

183. So you in?

184. You know about this?

185. Know about it? It was my idea.

186. What are y'all asking me to do? Hey, look, look, look.

187. How about I give y'all something else,

188. like—like a vcr?

189. You hear that, munchkin? He's giving us a vcr, too.

190. He's so full of love.

191. Let's hope so.

192. Come on, having—having a baby is a big responsibility.

193. Why, I even started saving for little junior's college fund.

194. Listen, hey, I don't think I can do this.

195. Will, remember that time we went to go play ball

196. and your shoelace broke, and I gave you mine?

197. Same thing.

198. Jazz, man, don't you have some relatives or something?

199. Why me?

200. You got a good heart,

201. and you got a lot of smarts,

202. and you're tall, and you got good teeth.

203. Of course, we'll be praying he gets my ears.

204. We really want this baby, will.

205. I mean, we love him already.

206. And we love you, too.

207. And there's no one else we'd ask

208. to be a part of our family.

209. How about a toaster?

210. Kids, I don't know how to thank you.

211. Such thoughtful gifts.

212. Well, you deserve them, mom.

213. And these roses. Oh! They are exquisite.

214. Thank you, honey.

215. You're welcome.

216. Well, you know, it's the thought that counts.

217. Yes. So think about sleeping on the couch for a while.

218. Mother, I wanted to buy you the perfect gift,

219. something that would show you just how special you are.

220. But I couldn't find it, so I made it myself.

221. You made something?

222. Hilary, you can't even make change.

223. Oh, yeah? Well, you can't even make—

224. um...

225. Oh, shut up!

226. Anyway,

227. I put this together at work—

228. my tribute to Vivian banks.

229. It's a celebration of your greatest accomplishment.

230. don't try to talk.

231. Let's all just share this moment.

232. May I help you?

233. Smith...

234. Will Smith.

235. I—I got an appointment you know, for—for the John.

236. You're a little embarrassed, aren't you?

237. Don't worry. We're all professionals here.

238. Hey, thanks a lot. I appreciate that.

239. Gladys, another customer for the happy booth!

240. Just have a seat,

241. and think lovely thoughts.

242. Yeah.

243. First time, kid?

244. Oh, no, actually, I was 11—oh, you mean here?

245. Yeah, yeah. How about you?

246. You kidding? I come here once a week.

247. A lot of couples want to have babies and can't.

248. I like to think of myself as nature's middleman.

249. Kind of like a Johnny appleseed without the apples, huh?

250. Once a week?

251. Mr. considine?

252. I'm up. Good luck.

253. Hey, hey. Good luck.

254. All right.

255. Here you are, brother. I brought you a card.

256. Hey, thanks, jazz.

257. "Heard you had a stroke"?

258. It was the closest we could find.

259. You know, for some reason,

260. hallmark has overlooked this occasion.

261. Jazz, I got to be honest, man.

262. I'm—I'm just kind of nervous about this.

263. Want me to go in with you?

264. I mean, what are you going to tell people?

265. I'm going to tell them it's my kid.

266. Will, this is between us.

267. No one must know of my secret shame.

268. The oath.

269. Shh! Shh!

270. And to show you how grateful we are,

271. me and jewel, we're taking you out tonight...

272. You know, in honor of mother's day.

273. Thanks a lot, jazz.

274. You know, that's not exactly the image I need right now.

275. Jazz Jr.

276. So join us in bidding goodbye to jazz Jr.,

277. the greatest player in the history of the nba.

278. That boy down there got good genes.

279. That boy got good genes.

280. You can't play no ball like that

281. without having no good genes.

282. That's my seat. Move over.

283. And now, stepping up to the Mike,

284. the one, the only... Jazz Jr.!

285. Whoo!

286. I just want to say

287. that I owe it all to one man...

288. My father.

289. Stand up, dad. Take a bow.

290. Sorry, will, but you don't belong here.

291. Ready, Mr. Smith?

292. Uh, no, I'm not. I don't belong here.

293. Hey, guys, sorry I'm late.

294. Man, y'all at least could have waited till I got here

295. Oh, we didn't order. This was here when we sat down.

296. And they're cheap tippers, too.

297. Less than 15%.

298. jazz, jewel, listen. I got something I need to tell y'all.

299. But we—

300. jazzy, listen.

301. Now, this whole having a kid thing,

302. I'm telling you, it's overrated, man.

303. Babies... Yecch.

304. They're all bald and stanked up and nasty—

305. Listen, jewel, I was sitting up in the clinic—

306. I'm sorry. Did you say something?

307. We going to have a baby— jazzy and me.

308. How the hell did that happen?

309. Brother,

310. I think me and you should talk.

311. No, I mean, your little soldiers established a beachhead?

312. Uh-huh.

313. You're going to be a daddy?

314. Eeeeeh! Hey, congratulations, man!

315. Hey, listen, they having a kid,

316. and I had nothing to do with it.

317. Ha ha ha ha! Oh, man.

318. Thanks, will, for everything.

319. Hey.

320. Happy mother's day, jewel.

321. Thank you, will.

322. Come here, man. Come here.

323. I know we invited you to dinner,

324. but would you mind paying for it?

325. I saw my picture over the cash register.

326. Come on, jazzy, let's hit the salad bar. I brought my big purse.

327. Whew!

328. I know you were really looking forward

329. to being a part of this.

330. I hope you're not too disappointed.

331. Oh, that? You know what they say— easy come, easy go.

332. I guess the world will have to wait a little longer

333. for will Smith Jr.

334. He'll come along someday.

335. Whew!

336. Hey, happy mother's day, brother!

337. Ha ha ha!

338. Oh, yeah!

339. Oh, man!

340. Good evening, sir.

341. Would you like to hear tonight's specials?

342. Uh...

343. No, you—you— no, thanks, man. You know what?

344. You know what? I just lost my damn appetite.

345. Captioning made possible by Warner bros.

346. Captioned by the national captioning institute —www.Ncicap.Org—

347. how do you think your mother is going to feel

348. when she finds out you didn't do your own shopping?

349. I don't know—blah blah.

350. How do you think your mother is going to feel

351. when she finds out that you didn't do your own shopping?

352. Well, I don't know.

353. Same place, still rolling.

354. Oh, my God.

355. Man, what was that?