The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air 4x22

Directed by Shelley Jensen

Elise Neal as Wendy • Pam Grier as Janice • William Thomas, Jr. as David

It's double trouble for Will when Philip's old flame visits with her daughter, who's attracted to Will.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Hey, Uncle Phil. What's up?

2. What are you looking at?

3. Just some pictures of me and Janice robertson

4. from back in the day—

5. here we are on campus

6. running from the national guard.

7. Man, she is fine!

8. Oh, tell me about it.

9. And, uh,

10. you're sure that aunt viv is cool

11. with your ex-girlfriend coming to visit?

12. Oh, well, now, actually,

13. Janice was never officially my girlfriend,

14. not that I didn't try.

15. Man, oh, man, did I try.

16. Flowers, poems, dinners.

17. I must've sprung for over 50 of them.

18. Maybe it would've worked

19. if you had taken her, too.

20. Sorry. Just a little collegiate humor.

21. You know what I'm saying.

22. You know what it's like

23. to really go after a woman and never get her?

24. No.

25. Finally after two years,

26. I realized that Janice wasn't going to have me,

27. so I settled for Vivian.

28. With Vivian.

29. With Vivian!

30. Sweetheart, that came out wrong.

31. Honey! Honey!

32. Baby!

33. Geoffrey...

34. Prepare Mr. banks' couch.

35. what time is dad's old flame supposed to be here?

36. She's not daddy's old flame.

37. They weren't even intimate.

38. Uncle Phil discussed that with you?

39. He said it in the hall

40. after mom slammed the door in his face.

41. Geoffrey, where's my purple tie?

42. It's in your tie drawer next to the pringles.

43. At least that's better than the kit-Kat

44. he keeps with his drawers.

45. I have the greatest news.

46. You know Al riggins the talk show host?

47. Yeah.

48. He's in a coma,

49. and they want me to test as his replacement!

50. My horoscope was right.

51. This is my lucky day.

52. Hilary, aren't you even a little concerned?

53. Oh, I'm plenty concerned.

54. My competition is anchorwoman mara Lopez.

55. And you know how they favor

56. those minority people.

57. Maybe science can just come get her brain now.

58. Ashley, I need your help in the kitchen.

59. Geoffrey, will you please

60. set an extra place at the table?

61. Mr. banks' friend is bringing her daughter.

62. Aunt viv, just curious.

63. Would this daughter be

64. more of a playmate for baby Nikki,

65. Ashley, or none of the above?

66. She's 18.

67. Good answer.

68. Men!

69. Hey, g., I got to tell you, man,

70. if this girl is built

71. anything like her mother,

72. I might have to check the premises.

73. I might have to see what the foundation is like.

74. Hold your permit, mister.

75. What makes you think

76. the daughter's going to opt for you

77. when she can have me?

78. Well, number one,

79. 'cause I won't be saying stuff like "opt."

80. Number two,

81. 'cause Geoffrey still has to cut up your food.

82. Well, this $100 says

83. that she goes out with me...

84. First.

85. O.K.

86. Here's 50...

87. And another 50.

88. You're on, and may the best man win.

89. Me.

90. Might I get in on this?

91. Sure things don't come along every day.

92. On master William.

93. Why would you pick him?

94. With all due respect, young sir,

95. I've seen you in action with women,

96. and quite frankly, you're an idiot.

97. Fine.

98. I got you both covered.

99. So, how do I look?

100. Like a man asking for trouble.

101. Oh, nonsense.

102. Vivian and I had a long talk about this yesterday.

103. She is perfectly secure with Janice's coming to visit.

104. So, uh, what happened to your nose, bro?

105. Oh, oh, uh, this?

106. Uh, uh, uh, this?

107. I—I—I cut myself shaving.

108. Oh, you were shaving your nose?

109. Was that before or after

110. you poured that bucket of cologne on your head?

111. You are reading way too much into this, will.

112. This is just a little dinner with an old friend.

113. Oh, that's her!

114. Ahem.

115. Mrs. robertson and her daughter Wendy.

116. Damn! Damn!

117. So when my editor decided to do a story

118. on postearthquake syndrome,

119. I jumped at the chance.

120. I haven't seen Philip since the Princeton 10-year reunion.

121. Remember we took over the registrar's office in '69?

122. My eyes are still burning from the tear gas.

123. Wendy, your mother looked radiant

124. even in a gas mask.

125. Oh, Phil, please stop.

126. Yes, Phil, please, stop.

127. Thank you, Geoffrey.

128. I'm at an anti-war rally

129. getting ready to burn my draft card,

130. and Janice offers me a light.

131. I am so against war.

132. I mean, there's death and destruction.

133. They preempt your favorite programs.

134. I remember during that desert storm thing,

135. I was trying to find knots landing.

136. Are those prunes?

137. Yes. I have this theory about regularity.

138. Perhaps after dinner, we can go for a drive

139. and talk about it in depth?

140. I'm telling you, g.,

141. get down for another 100.

142. You know, I was thinking,

143. maybe we could take a walk on the beach,

144. find a little club,

145. get out and boogie on?

146. Oh, I love to dance.

147. I can dance better than will any day.

148. Don't keep her out too late, will.

149. She's in good hands, Mrs. robertson.

150. I know she is.

151. I said I'll pay you when I get out!

152. I had a great time, will.

153. Where'd you learn to dance like that?

154. The Arthur Murray dance studios.

155. Tango?

156. So, what's up for tomorrow?

157. I'm seeing you again, I hope.

158. Uh, who am I to crush a young woman's dreams?

159. Mmm.

160. Too bad your mom's in there.

161. Oh, we have separate rooms.

162. Well, then, where were we?

163. Will, I like you,

164. but this is going a little too fast for me.

165. For real?

166. Here I thought I was taking it slow, you know?

167. No, that is absolutely, absolutely perfect.

168. That's fine. That's fine.

169. Well, it was fun.

170. You have a good night, and I'll see you tomorrow.

171. Night, will.

172. Good night.

173. Night, babe.

174. Hey, Mrs. robertson, how you doing?

175. I just dropped Wendy off.

176. She was begging me to come in.

177. I told her I didn't think it was proper.

178. I'm sure you're the perfect gentleman.

179. Yes, ma'am. Hey, good night.

180. Will, would you mind sharing

181. your earthquake recollections with me?

182. What, now?

183. Yes. I thought I might as well get started tonight.

184. Sit down.

185. Make yourself comfortable.

186. I'm just going to go freshen up.

187. Hey, this—this is a nice room you got here,

188. as far as rooms go.

189. Aah!

190. So how would you describe the earthquake?

191. Oh, well, it was kind of like

192. Shaq picked up the poolhouse, and he was shaking it

193. like them little snow globes.

194. You know, then I heard all this crying.

195. Was that baby Nikki?

196. No, no. Baby Carlton.

197. He's not the most mature young man, is he?

198. Well, he's kind of like a 10-year-old

199. trapped in a 12-year-old's body.

200. Well, good night.

201. But we've barely scratched the surface.

202. Um, listen, um,

203. uh, Mrs. robertson, I have to be honest.

204. I'm—I'm not really feeling right about being here with you

205. in, you know, that—that thing.

206. Is there a problem?

207. Well, yeah.

208. I mean, when a woman changes into something more comfortable,

209. it usually means she wants to get more comfortable,

210. you know?

211. Frankly, I'm a little uncomfortable

212. with this higher level of comfort.

213. I've put on a couple pounds,

214. and my dress was too tight.

215. There. You happy?

216. I'm so sorry.

217. I was completely out of line.

218. My Uncle has a fat problem.

219. I should be more sensitive.

220. You are so cute.

221. Would you like to see pictures of Wendy

222. in Saint-tropez?

223. Hmm? What? Huh? Oh!

224. Yeah. Pictures.

225. Yeah. Pict—yeah. Yeah, sure.

226. Wow!

227. This is—this is nice.

228. This is—this— oh, this—this is nice.

229. Look how—look how blue this water is.

230. Wow.

231. Aah!

232. Aah!

233. What's wrong?

234. There's a picture right there

235. of you with no bathing suit top on.

236. It's Saint-tropez. Lots of women go topless.

237. You know what?

238. I'm going to run down to the lobby,

239. get some of them free brochures before...

240. Will.

241. You're not going anywhere.

242. O.K.

243. Will.

244. Oh, my God! Uncle Phil!

245. What're you doing sleeping out here?

246. Your aunt Vivian thought the couch was too good for me.

247. You just getting in?

248. Just because a guy comes in in the morning

249. wearing the same thing he had on the night before,

250. that doesn't mean he slept with anybody.

251. I'm not accusing you of anything.

252. Maybe we parked and watched the sun come up,

253. or maybe we sat and talked all night.

254. People do do that, you know.

255. I said I believe you.

256. Good.

257. I didn't do nothing wrong.

258. Tell me, did you get to spend any time

259. with Wendy's mother?

260. Ooh, no, no, no.

261. They was in two separate rooms,

262. and I wasn't in either one.

263. Before she leaves, spend time with her.

264. She has a lot to offer.

265. More than you know.

266. What?

267. I said I got to go.

268. Well, well, well, and where have you been all night, mister?

269. I'm sorry.

270. I only answer to people over 5'.

271. You're over 5', aren't you?

272. Boy, that was a lot of fun.

273. I love those old movies.

274. Yeah. Cleopatra Jones is a super-bad sister.

275. Who do you think would win in a street fight,

276. Cleopatra Jones or grace Jones?

277. Now you're getting philosophical on me now, see?

278. Cleopatra Jones, she got that karate stuff.

279. She got some sweet moves on her,

280. plus she be packing heat,

281. but grace Jones, she's just scary.

282. You've really been thinking about this.

283. Yep.

284. Something else I've been thinking about, too.

285. Am I intruding on anything?

286. Aah!

287. Hey, Mrs. robertson.

288. Hey, what—what you doing here?

289. Well, your Uncle invited me over for a backyard barbecue.

290. Yeah, we was about to go eat, too.

291. I love barbecue.

292. Help yourself, honey. There's plenty of food.

293. Stop playing.

294. Well, um...

295. I think I'm going to go get me some ribs,

296. 'cause Uncle Phil likes to eat while he cooks,

297. and might be nothing left for nobody else.

298. Ha ha.

299. Well, will, I didn't expect to see you again...

300. So soon.

301. Listen, maybe I fell for you last night,

302. but I am never falling for you again.

303. Relax, will.

304. You think I want my daughter to find out?

305. How would it make me look?

306. Crazy.

307. Wendy deserves better than will.

308. When I think how we conned her into going out with him,

309. it makes me sick.

310. At least I had respect for her.

311. Carlton, you bet $200 on her.

312. Hey, that's a very respectable bet.

313. The secret to a successful cookout

314. is flame control.

315. Remember the last barbecue we were at

316. on the Jersey shore protesting that toxic dump?

317. Is that why that chicken tasted so funny?

318. And we formed a human chain and kept the trucks out?

319. Of course I remember. You were wearing that calico halter top.

320. You know, I still have that halter top.

321. Philip, the fire's getting a little too hot.

322. What?

323. Now that's better.

324. Vivian, that was extremely childish.

325. You're the one who's gawking over this woman

326. in our own backyard.

327. She is an old friend.

328. Don't fault me for being friendly.

329. St. bernards are friendly,

330. but even they don't slobber as much as you.

331. Vivian, this is such a beautiful home.

332. You are a very lucky woman.

333. Excuse me. I have to go check on our baby.

334. Something I said?

335. Vivian is just a little uncomfortable with our friendship,

336. even though I told her nothing ever happened between us.

337. You know, that was one of my biggest regrets.

338. Really?

339. I guess back then,

340. I just didn't appreciate the kind of man you are.

341. Well...

342. I would like to take you out to dinner tomorrow.

343. You know, we go back to New York the next day.

344. Well, I appreciate that,

345. but Vivian's busy tomorrow night.

346. Oh, well, then...

347. How about just the two of us?

348. Oh, no. I don't think so.

349. It'll be more business than pleasure.

350. I need more insight on my article.

351. Oh...

352. Well, I guess there's no harm in that.

353. Oh, good. Say, uh...

354. 8:00 tomorrow...

355. My hotel, dinner?

356. Sounds fine.

357. Ha ha ha!

358. Hey, Uncle Phil.

359. Hey, listen...

360. Can I talk to you in the kitchen for a second?

361. I'm cooking.

362. Yeah, your goose.

363. Can I see you in the...

364. Excuse us, Janice.

365. Ha ha ha!

366. Ha ha ha!

367. Uncle Phil,

368. you cannot go to the hotel with that woman.

369. It's just for a little dinner.

370. Then dessert,

371. the likes of which even you ain't never seen.

372. Uncle Phil, Janice is the one that got away,

373. right?

374. Yeah.

375. Well, she ain't get away from me.

376. What?

377. Uncle Phil,

378. I was dropping Wendy off back at the hotel, right?

379. I'm walking down the hall.

380. Mrs. robertson comes up and asks me about the quake,

381. so I go in and tell her.

382. She slips into something more comfortable.

383. She's showing me pictures of Saint...

384. Saint something.

385. And then before I knew it...

386. Ta-dow.

387. Ta-dow?

388. Ta...

389. Dow.

390. Ta-do...

391. Oh! Ooh! Ooh!

392. You slept with Janice!

393. Ashley, go to your room.

394. Oh, I love this!

395. And take Carlton with you.

396. I'm not going anywhere.

397. You heard what I said.

398. Mother, is this true?

399. I can't believe you did this.

400. Oh, and you, will.

401. How could you?

402. Listen, listen.

403. I was— I was just...

404. Earthquake,

405. and then we...

406. And then, um...

407. Have you ever seen your mother naked?

408. Will, you are just really a class act.

409. But...

410. Excuse me.

411. Oh, yeah. Go blame it on me.

412. Janice, I think you better leave.

413. Vivian, this is not as big as you're making it out to be.

414. Maybe not in your little world.

415. Too bad, Philip.

416. We could've had something special.

417. I have something special.

418. Bye, Mrs. robertson.

419. I've been such a fool.

420. Can you forgive me?

421. I always do, don't I?

422. You don't have to sleep

423. on the chaise lounge tonight.

424. I don't?

425. You can sleep on your couch.

426. And have a talk with this young man,

427. please.

428. Hey, Uncle Phil.

429. I'm 19 years old, and I'm going to make some mistakes.

430. I'm 45, and I make them, too.

431. The secret is to learn from them.

432. Yeah, you're right. I learned my lesson.

433. From now on, I'm only dating girls with ugly moms.

434. I—I'm going to go lay on my couch.

435. 4... 3... 2...

436. Thank you.

437. Thank you.

438. Today on our show,

439. women who hate men and the men who hate them back.

440. Cut it!

441. Great news, hil.

442. Al has completely recovered from his coma

443. so you won't be needed.

444. Al, Al, Al!

445. Doesn't anybody care about my needs?

446. Do you know how much this outfit cost?

447. The statute's not up yet

448. on that sexual harassment case I have against you.

449. I'll drag you through mud.

450. Don't talk to me like that.

451. I studied and caught up on everything.

452. I am perfect for a talk show host.

453. I am the producer of this show.