The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air 4x20

Directed by Shelley Jensen

Karen Malina White as Jewel Robertson • DJ Jazzy Jeff as Jazz • Patricia Coleman as Prison Matron • Johari Johnson as Bridesmaid

Jazz's bride has a couple of teensy character flaws: She's a convict. And she puts the moves on Will.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Hey, my brother. I just came back from the free clinic,

2. and guess what I got.

3. What, man?

4. The phone number of those two nurses we met.

5. Oh, the twins that sleep in the same bed?

6. With some luck, we could put an end to that streak.

7. Oh, hey, Felipe,

8. I need you to cover my next shift.

9. Actually, cover my next three shifts.

10. You know how demanding twins can be.

11. Yes, my brother,

12. it's going to be some night.

13. Oh, wait. I just remembered. I can't go.

14. Well, why not?

15. I'm getting married.

16. captioning made possible by Warner bros.

17. What do you mean, you're getting married?

18. Her name is jewel Robinson.

19. getting busted for grand theft, auto.

20. Jazz, the woman's a convict?

21. We prefer the term "freedom impaired."

22. How about the term, "not playing with a full cell block"?

23. You don't understand, man.

24. Jewel makes my life complete.

25. See, I know you look at me and you say,

26. "damn. That jazz has it all."

27. But the truth is,

28. behind these shades there's a big, empty hole.

29. Well, that's for damn sure.

30. And I was going to make you my best man.

31. Oh, really?

32. Your best man?

33. Well, you are my best friend,

34. and all my other friends just pretend to like me for my money.

35. That's because you owe it to them.

36. The ceremony's at the women's correctional institution

37. next Tuesday.

38. Whoa, whoa, jazz, you—

39. you're getting married at the prison?

40. Why not?

41. It's free.

42. We follow an execution.

43. Jazz, ain't no homey of mine

44. getting married up in no prison.

45. Well, unless you got a rich Uncle or something,

46. that's how it's got to be.

47. There she is—

48. jewel Robinson, number 54820,

49. Crime—grand theft, auto. Time served—two years.

50. Let's take a look at the video tape.

51. Officer down! We need backup!

52. Get her off of me!

53. She's biting my nose!

54. Has jazz lost his mind?

55. I mean, woof!

56. What's wrong with her face?

57. Sweetheart, it's electronically scrambled.

58. Whatever. I just hope she's not toying with jazz's emotions.

59. I'd hate to see a sweet guy like that get hurt.

60. Honey, up till today, you've never said a nice thing about jazz.

61. Up till today, jazz was available.

62. Well, forbidden fruit always looks more tempting, doesn't it?

63. Mother, for God's sake, he's half your age.

64. Well, I'm happy for jazz.

65. I think it is so romantic.

66. I give it three weeks.

67. The marriage or her parole? Ha ha ha ha ha!

68. Yo, whoa, whoa. Hey, that's not funny. Jazz is my best friend.

69. Was. Be prepared, will. Marriage brings about new priorities.

70. You may find that jazz has less time to spend with you

71. once he's taken a wife.

72. Oh, please. Ain't no way jazz nor me

73. gonna let some honey come in between us.

74. Yeah, that's what I thought, too.

75. I lost all my friends. Isn't that right, honey?

76. Uh... But, uh, you know,

77. but it wasn't like I was going to need them.

78. After all, I wasn't going to have any fun anymore.

79. Uh...

80. Uh, honey.

81. Uh—uh, sweetheart.

82. Uh—uh... Uh, baby, darling.

83. Man, I knew you had a man-size appetite, but both feet?

84. Don't worry, daddy.

85. Hey, well, look, I don't even care. Look, jazz is in love,

86. and I'm gonna make sure that he has the best wedding ever,

87. even if I got to pay for it myself.

88. I mean,

89. even though I am just a po' black man

90. trying to get my "edu-ma-cation."

91. I am not shelling out for jazz's wedding.

92. Oh, please, now I seem to remember

93. a rather large relative of mine saying that

94. "if jazz would just find some bimbo

95. "to get his mind off of hilary,

96. I'd be more than happy to pay for the wedding."

97. Uh, oh, well, uh...

98. Way to go, judge banks.

99. You pretend to uphold the law,

100. but you're gonna renege on a verbal contract?

101. Well, she is a convict.

102. I could call it a rehabilitation party and write if off.

103. Hey, check it out. You're a judge.

104. You can perform the ceremony.

105. Pay yourself 25 bucks.

106. 50. I don't care.

107. Pay yourself 100. It's your money.

108. Oh, I've finally found the man of my dreams.

109. Marry me, Carlton.

110. Very funny, will,

111. but while you're playing with dolls,

112. I mean, we are going to have a convict in the house.

113. Hey, look, jazz, would you relax, man?

114. I can't help myself, will. Not with jewel due any minute.

115. Oh, is she pregnant, too?

116. Of course not.

117. I have the deepest respect for her, Mr. banks.

118. She's a class act.

119. Somebody wants to know where the bride is registered.

120. Gillespie liquors.

121. She's here. She's here. She's here.

122. Carlton!

123. I also put my diamond cufflinks in a balloon

124. and swallowed them.

125. That's more than I ever wanted

126. to know about you, Carlton.

127. Ok, everybody just relax.

128. Well, hi there, Mr. man.

129. You like my dress?

130. Hilary, will you get out of my way?

131. You're blocking my view.

132. Ms. jewel Robinson.

133. Jazzy!

134. Munchkin!

135. There's a lot to be said

136. for a woman who's been in prison a long time.

137. Hey.

138. Yo.

139. Hello in there.

140. Munchkin, these are the lovely people

141. who've opened their home and their wallet to us.

142. Hey, I'm will, the best man.

143. Oh, yeah? As far as I can see, this here is the best man.

144. I love his bony butt.

145. And it loves you, too, my pet.

146. Carlton banks here.

147. our fine collection of European autos in our driveway.

148. I also noticed you have a very small head.

149. Hey.

150. We are very happy to have you in our home.

151. Thanks. And I guess it's true what they say—

152. you can't buy good taste.

153. Now, which one of you is the desperately

154. self-centered, stuck-up clothes horse?

155. Guilty.

156. Now just a minute, young lady.

157. I'm sorry.

158. that I should say what's on my mind and not keep too much bottled up.

159. Otherwise I, you know, go out and do something stupid

160. like hot-wiring a lexus,

161. although it did get me on prime time.

162. Capturing the hearts of viewers everywhere.

163. I just want to say,

164. I'll hunt you down like the dog that you are and kill you.

165. Well, got to go shop for your present.

166. Beautiful and nuts. You must be very proud.

167. Well, hey, look, I've got an idea.

168. Jazz, why don't you take jewel into the kitchen

169. and get her some grub.

170. That's if tubby here hasn't eaten it all.

171. Come in. Just trying on my wedding dress.

172. Hey, jewel, I just wanted to come and check, you know,

173. and see if there's any last-minute things you needed.

174. You know, a cup of coffee, a blood test.

175. Actually, I thought I'd see if you could live up to your title—

176. you know, best man.

177. Oh, what'd you have in mind?

178. Could you help me with this?

179. Oh, it's already zipped up.

180. I know.

181. I want you to zip it down.

182. Um...

183. I don't think that's a good idea.

184. Listen, oh! My cousin hilary is right down the hall.

185. I'm gonna get hilary.

186. Come on. I got to take a shower and do my hair.

187. Now, hurry up.

188. if—if somebody was to walk in here right now...

189. They might think you was hitting on me.

190. Trust me. If I was hitting on you,

191. you'd know it.

192. Really?

193. How?

194. Ok. You made your point.

195. Uncle Phil, you busy?

196. What's on your mind, will?

197. Um...

198. Jewel kissed me.

199. It's customary to kiss the bride.

200. This was like one of them fatal attraction elevator scene kisses,

201. you know what I'm saying? You know?

202. Oh, come on. You're exaggerating, will.

203. Listen. Listen, Uncle Phil, I'm telling you.

204. I went up to the room to see if she needed anything, all right?

205. She kissed me on my lips, all right?

206. She jumped on and she was stuck on me,

207. and I was trying to shake her off, but I couldn't get her off.

208. She was like a little naked velcro midget.

209. What am I going to do, Uncle Phil?

210. Guess you've only got two choices—

211. you can either tell jazz or not.

212. And you're a judge, right?

213. Well, maybe this story will help you.

214. You know, when I was younger, I was a pretty sexy guy.

215. Look, if you're not going to take this seriously, Uncle Phil—

216. do you want to hear this story?

217. Ok. I was driving home from a party

218. with my buddy and his girlfriend.

219. Now, my buddy fell asleep.

220. The next thing I know,

221. she leans across and fastens my seat belt.

222. You know what I'm saying?

223. Please don't do that, Uncle Phil.

224. Sorry.

225. Anyway, I figured that our friendship was strong enough

226. to stand the truth, so we went out for a beer

227. and I told him everything that happened.

228. Well, did he thank you?

229. Oh, yeah.

230. With a barstool on the head.

231. Well, but, I mean, jazz ain't the violent type...

232. I don't think.

233. Well, the point is, to be a good friend,

234. you have to risk losing a good friend.

235. I think I know what I got to do.

236. I got to find somebody else to talk to about this.

237. Hey.

238. Hey.

239. How's it going? This is the best day of my life.

240. Did I thank you for everything you've done for me and jewel?

241. Well, not everything.

242. I hope you two will be close.

243. She touched me, will,

244. and I know she'll touch you, too.

245. Yeah, listen. Hey, actually, jazz,

246. that's kind of what I wanted to talk to you about.

247. See, listen, last night—

248. she told you about our decision?

249. What decision?

250. The one we made last night.

251. We're going to have 10 kids,

252. one for every month of the year.

253. And we're going to name them all after you.

254. Jazz, hey, you ain't got to do that, man.

255. Ok, then. We'll name them Earl.

256. Yeah, yeah.

257. Yeah, that's cool, jazz.

258. See, me and jewel, we got this crazy dream.

259. We're going to keep our kids out of reform school.

260. See, will, I don't know how long this happiness is going to last.

261. If it's for just one day,

262. that's more than I've ever known before.

263. So, what did you want to talk to me about?

264. Oh, I just wanted to thank you

265. for picking out these lovely yellow and green ensembles.

266. You're welcome.

267. Cell block 41 has arrived.

268. Welcome, ladies.

269. Please take a moment to sign our guest book.

270. And now, if I could just have your thumb...

271. You know, I resent being treated like a common thief.

272. Oh, you do, do you?

273. Well, what kind of cold-hearted,

274. viscous, evil crime did you commit?

275. Securities fraud.

276. Really? An inside trader?

277. So... Are you here alone?

278. Ladies and gentlemen,

279. if you'd all please take your seats.

280. And I want to thank you

281. for attending this wonderful occasion.

282. Are you kidding? Jazz ain't got no friends. I hired these people.

283. Ashley?

284. stop the wedding! You can't marry her, jazz.

285. We're not cousins, are we?

286. Hilary, what's the meaning of this?

287. I'm in love with him.

288. Oh, my God. What am I saying?

289. I'm going to go lie down.

290. May I continue?

291. We are gathered together

292. to join this man and this woman in matrimony.

293. If there's anyone here who knows

294. why they should not be joined together,

295. let them speak now or forever hold their peace.

296. Some friend you are.

297. I'm sorry, jazzy. We can't get married.

298. Munchkin!

299. Jazz!

300. Freeze!

301. Munchkin, please!

302. What about all our guests

303. and all the gifts?

304. I ain't never owned anything

305. that still had the serial number on it.

306. Jazzy, I'm sorry. It just wouldn't work.

307. Will, see if you could talk to her.

308. Jazz, I can't—

309. for little Earl's sake.

310. Listen, jewel, you cannot do this to jazz, all right?

311. Marry him, ok? You guys can just leave the state

312. and put me behind you.

313. Will, I can't.

314. No, really, I can't. I'm on parole.

315. I'm not allowed to leave the state.

316. Damn these good looks of mine!

317. Now, now, jewel, I know it's hard, ok?

318. But you got to look beyond this charming, sexy exterior, ok?

319. You got to see the real will Smith.

320. I'm irresponsible, I'm unreliable, I'm immature...

321. Egotistical, self-centered...

322. Yeah, yeah, that's it!

323. Conceited, thick-headed, spoiled...

324. Ok. That's fine.

325. And on top of that, you ain't even that good-looking.

326. Then why you want me so bad?

327. I only came on to you 'cause I figured you'd tell jazz,

328. and then he'd call the whole thing off.

329. But you couldn't even do that.

330. I kissed you for nothing.

331. Well, damn.

332. Will, I've never met anybody

333. who cares for me as much as jazz does.

334. You know, whenever we go into a nice restaurant,

335. he carries my tray.

336. And when it's time to skip out on the check,

337. he always holds open the bathroom window for me.

338. Well, that's jazz for you.

339. Can't you see?

340. I don't deserve a man like him.

341. I mean, look what he's done for me—

342. beautiful wedding gown,

343. getting married in a bel-air mansion.

344. Do you know where my mama was married?

345. No, where?

346. I don't know. I was hoping you did.

347. Uh... Jewel, believe me when I tell you,

348. you and jazz are made for each other.

349. Listen, trust me. I've known jazz a long time,

350. and you are the best thing to ever happen to him.

351. Will, I'm scared.

352. What if it doesn't work out?

353. It will.

354. What if it doesn't?

355. It will.

356. But what if it doesn't?

357. It will!

358. Now get in there and marry that boy!

359. Thanks.

360. Ok. Let's get a shot of the bridesmaids.

361. Ok. We're back, we're back.

362. Everything's ok.

363. Bride just got a little nervous,

364. but who wouldn't, marrying jazz?

365. May I continue?

366. Please do.

367. The bride and groom have prepared their own vows.

368. Jazz?

369. You are one jewel I never want to hock.

370. Sometimes I want to bite you to see if you're really real.

371. If love was craps, you'd be a seven...

372. If it was on the first roll.

373. If it was on the second roll,

374. and say the point was six— you'd be a six.

375. 'cause I play the field on the second roll to make a couple extra bucks.

376. Then you'd be a six on the third roll,

377. and then I'd clean up.

378. I think you know what I'm trying to say.

379. I love you, and you make me feel lucky.

380. And now jewel.

381. I love you, jazzy,

382. and I want to be with you always.

383. Thank you for setting this little jailbird free—

384. body, mind, and spirit.

385. Baby, I love you.

386. All right, all right, all right, all right.

387. All right, all right, all right, all right.

388. Do you, jazz, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?

389. Oh, yeah.

390. Do you, jewel, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?

391. Oh, yeah.

392. By the powers vested in me,

393. I now pronounce you husband and wife.

394. You may kiss the bride.

395. Captioning made possible by Warner bros.

396. Captioned by the national captioning institute —www.Ncicap.Org—

397. ok. Um...

398. Jewel, jewel,

399. jewel, jewel, get off me.

400. Hey, jewel, I ain't playing.

401. Get off me, jewel.

402. Get off of me, jewel!

403. Ok. You made your point.