The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air 4x19

Directed by Shelley Jensen

Robert Guillaume as Pete Fletcher • DJ Jazzy Jeff as Jazz • Vernee Watson-Johnson as Vy Smith • Mel Johnson Jr. as Harrison

A car dealer hires Will, then persuades him to drop out of college.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Now, now, look, Uncle Phil,

2. we don't need nothing too fancy,

3. long as it got vibrating bucket seats,

4. a refrigerated glove compartment,

5. and a license plate that say, "grrr."

6. Will, this car is for basic transportation,

7. not your indulgences.

8. That's right, big guy.

9. We want something that emphasizes good sense

10. over style and excitement.

11. How about a '94 you?

12. There it is.

13. Oh, ok.

14. Ta-da!

15. The all-new accountant vx.

16. It has the latest technology

17. in childproof door locks.

18. Carlton, now, what are the honeys going to say

19. about a dude cruising around in one of these?

20. They'll say, "why, there goes a thrifty,

21. level-headed young man."

22. Yeah. Right before they say,

23. "and I'll never have sex with him."

24. captioning made possible by Warner bros.

25. Good afternoon, gentlemen.

26. Pete Fletcher. I'll be right with you.

27. Thank you. I think we've found what we were looking for.

28. Oh, good. I like a man who knows what he wants.

29. Makes my job a whole lot easier.

30. Hey, hey, hey.

31. Hey, hey, hey. Whoa.

32. Uncle Phil, you're not seriously considering

33. making me drive this carltonmobile,

34. are you?

35. Son, when I was in college,

36. I drove a manure-brown '65 dodge dart.

37. So, why are you taking that out on me?

38. What a piece of junk.

39. Tow trucks used to follow me around like vultures.

40. You deserved better, Uncle Phil.

41. Ah, perhaps.

42. Don't listen to him, dad.

43. It's a trick.

44. Check this out, Uncle Phil.

45. You like that, right?

46. There you are, Uncle Phil...

47. 25 years younger,

48. thousands of pounds thinner...

49. Cruising the strip at Princeton...

50. Wind blowing through your big ol' fro...

51. Honeys checkin' you out.

52. They saying, "mmm. There go Philip banks.

53. He's a bad mammerjammer."

54. They waving at you, Uncle Phil.

55. Go ahead, wave back.

56. It's ok. Wave back.

57. Right on, sisters!

58. Dad, did I mention that the all-new accountant

59. gets 75 Miles to the gallon?

60. To hell with the accountant. I want this.

61. Excellent choice, Mr. banks.

62. Come on into the office.

63. We'll crunch some numbers.

64. All right.

65. Dad, will just bamboozled you.

66. And that's the story we'll tell your mother. Thank you, will.

67. You bought a great car, Mr. banks.

68. Thanks for your business.

69. No, no. Thank you. Carlton.

70. Someday.

71. Uh, will.

72. Yes, sir?

73. I believe this is yours.

74. Well, that's the standard commission for an evader.

75. Oh, I forgot something.

76. What, another zero?

77. Hey, hey.

78. Well, I can only pay commissions

79. to someone who works for me.

80. That sounds great, man. I can't fade that right now, though.

81. Well, good for you. Forget I mentioned it.

82. What does a college kid need with cash like this, anyway?

83. Hey, hey, hey.

84. Hey, hey.

85. Wh-wh-what you talking about?

86. Will, I believe you have the makings

87. of a supersalesman,

88. and together we can make piles of money.

89. Of course, my pile will be bigger.

90. How about Saturdays?

91. Saturdays. Well, I tell you what.

92. You throw a cd changer into my Uncle's evader, you got a deal.

93. Done. How about Sundays?

94. Uh, you got to give me some wire wheels.

95. Got to give a brother a cellular for that.

96. "As you become more comfortable as a salesman,

97. you'll develop your own style."

98. Hmm.

99. Say, baby, with all that butt,

100. you might be needing a hatchback.

101. I'm gonna be so rich.

102. Hi, will.

103. Oh. Hey, hil,

104. mind if I kick my sales rap on you?

105. All right, now, just pretend you're buyin' a car.

106. No offense, will, but I would never buy a car from you.

107. Hil, we're pretending here.

108. You're not my cousin.

109. You're somebody else.

110. Oh, I get it. Ok.

111. Ahem.

112. Uh, hi. I'm will Smith.

113. And I am the baroness Natasha.

114. I'm on holiday in your country

115. with my husband the baron...

116. And my lover...

117. Gustaf.

118. Um... Ok, look, um, baroness,

119. I was wondering if I could interest you

120. in a sporty new evader.

121. It has a v-6 dual—

122. yes, of course. I take six of them.

123. Gustaf, pay the man.

124. You take jewels, yes?

125. Hey, thanks a lot, hil.

126. My pleasure. Well, I'm off.

127. You most certainly are.

128. Look, um, g,

129. I was wondering if my sales—

130. peasant.

131. Hey, Uncle Phil, can I kick my sales rap on you?

132. Later. Your aunt viv and I are goin' for a ride

133. in daddy's new shorts. Ha ha ha ha!

134. Ooh, what is that?

135. This is cruisin' music—

136. Al green and the isley brothers.

137. Oh, sukey, sukey, now.

138. Baby.

139. Come in.

140. Hey, hey.

141. Will, will, will.

142. Man, congratulations. Ha!

143. Five cars in one day.

144. I've never seen anything like it.

145. Oh, yes, I have.

146. I'm tellin' you, boss, it is the best feeling in the world.

147. Well, it's a close second.

148. You know what I'm talkin' about.

149. You know what I'm talkin' about.

150. There will be plenty of time for that.

151. Now, if you feel good now,

152. take a look at your commission check.

153. I'm sorry.

154. Are my pants wet?

155. How many of your friends

156. can say they made that kind of money in one day?

157. What, you mean legally?

158. But it's a shame.

159. Tomorrow when you're in some chemistry class

160. learning about inert gases,

161. someone will be stealing your commissions.

162. Now, that's where you're wrong.

163. That's the spirit.

164. I don't take chemistry,

165. but I damn sure know math.

166. So you can figure what a fulltime check would be.

167. Oh, yes, sir. 5 times this,

168. carry the 6, and add a 0.

169. And what do you get? I get out of school.

170. Shake hands with your new fulltime man.

171. Whoop. There it is.

172. Ha ha ha ha!

173. Isn't this great?

174. Family, fun, and no will.

175. Your turn, son.

176. Ok, to me.

177. "You're in a department store, and you find $50 on the ground.

178. Do you pick it up?"

179. Of course not.

180. Geoffrey picks it up.

181. Your turn, ash.

182. Oh. Ok, daddy.

183. "It's clear that your teenage daughter

184. "is not enjoying the tedious board game

185. being played in a forced family-bonding moment.

186. What do you do?"

187. Fine! I try to encourage

188. a little quality family time together,

189. Well, if you don't want to play, you don't have to.

190. Go on, get outta here!

191. Philip.

192. That's what it says on the card.

193. Well, I'd ask if there was something else you'd rather do and...

194. Discuss an alternative.

195. Good answer, Philip.

196. I bet you feel like a dummy.

197. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

198. Yo, I tore up that sales chart today.

199. if you find something that excites you, you should hold onto it.

200. That's what gets me through the day.

201. So, Uncle Phil, what you're saying

202. is that if a guy finds a job that he likes,

203. he should—he should give it his all.

204. Then I'm doin' the right thing.

205. Of course you are. What are you doing?

206. Oh. I'm thinkin' I'm gonna quit school and sell cars fulltime.

207. Boy, have you lost your damn mind?

208. There is no way you're gonna quit school

209. Well, aunt viv, it's not like I'm workin' fries

210. I'm in a suit and a tie, and I'm sellin' fine cars.

211. That's right! College isn't for everyone.

212. I think we should all be happy for him.

213. That's right.

214. Hey, thanks a lot, ash.

215. Listen, I get my license in a few months.

216. You think you could hook me up?

217. Ashley, go to your room.

218. I got you. I got you. Go ahead. Go ahead. Go.

219. Will, your mother sent you here

220. If you quit school, you're just throwin' it all away.

221. I won't allow that.

222. That's not fair, aunt viv.

223. Hilary dropped out of school,

224. and she turned out great.

225. Hilary's success is contrary to the laws of nature,

226. totally inexplicable.

227. Oh, stop.

228. Ok, look, that was a bad example.

229. Will, it's stupid.

230. Stupid? It's not stupid.

231. Can we talk to will in private, please?

232. It's idiotic.

233. Look. Uncle Phil, you go to college

234. to figure out what you want to do.

235. I mean, I found what I want to do,

236. and it ain't takin' me no 4 years.

237. Goin' to college is not about finding a job.

238. It's also about finding yourself.

239. And the search should take more than one weekend.

240. Why can't you guys respect my decisions

241. and treat me like an adult?

242. Ok. Fine.

243. I'm tellin' your mother.

244. Oh, aunt viv.

245. Look. Uncle Phil, I got to do this, man.

246. All right, will.

247. Hey. Come on, man. It's not the end of the world.

248. Yes, it is.

249. If I'd have waited a few days,

250. I could've bought that car from you wholesale.

251. Yo. What up, j?

252. Yo.

253. I need to ask you a favor.

254. I need a car with a back seat.

255. James, I can't just give you a car to take off the lot, man.

256. Who said anything about leavin' the lot?

257. This will do just fine.

258. Get out.

259. Get—get out!

260. Come on, Ophelia.

261. That's all right.

262. I have a real friend at the bus depot.

263. Oh... Well, this is impressive, man—

264. 12 units in your first week.

265. You realize I have people on my staff

266. who don't sell 12 cars in a year?

267. Well, they in the wrong business.

268. So you think I should fire Harrison, do you?

269. I—I didn't say that.

270. Well, you're wrong.

271. Good.

272. You should fire him.

273. What, me?

274. Yes. Only because I think

275. you're excellent management material.

276. Here. Sit down.

277. Put your feet up.

278. There. Good.

279. See? Looks good on you.

280. Yeah. Feels nice on my butt, too.

281. Imported cigar.

282. Eh, if that's all you got.

283. Bite the end off.

284. You know... I'm not too sure

285. about this firin' thing, man.

286. Harrison's been sliding downhill for years.

287. His sales record is embarrassing,

288. especially when compared to a mover like you.

289. Go ahead, put him out of his misery.

290. It's the only humane thing to do.

291. This chair is made out of leather, isn't it?

292. All right. All right.

293. Uh, say, Harrison,

294. Sure. I'm just doin' some paperwork.

295. I can barely tear myself away from this desk.

296. Maybe you can take it with you.

297. Look, Harrison...

298. Don't get me wrong.

299. Did you know I have 6 kids?

300. No, I didn't know that.

301. you know what? I bet you would love to spend

302. some more time with them, wouldn't you?

303. Sure,

304. especially since Mary died.

305. I'll be right back.

306. Sure.

307. Yo, man. Did you know Harrison has 6 kids

308. and a dead wife?

309. 'Course I know.

310. He's my brother.

311. See, now, that's cold, man.

312. No, will.

313. That's business.

314. When you're the manager,

315. you make the tough decisions.

316. I don't know, man.

317. Firin' people ain't fun.

318. It's an acquired taste. You'll learn.

319. I have faith in you.

320. I don't— I don't know, man.

321. That's it, you're outta here, the three of you!

322. Don't be eyeballin' me, neither.

323. Get on! Come on!

324. Get on.

325. And wash those shirts.

326. Especially you.

327. Well, that's 3 less mechanics you got to worry about.

328. Great. Tomorrow we hit the parts department.

329. Yes, sir. Come on, I'll buy you a steak.

330. All right.

331. Hey, hey, hey, hey.

332. Come on, man, you missed a spot.

333. You're fired!

334. Fired!

335. Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!

336. Now, look, the bottom line is he wasn't producing.

337. Now, in this business,

338. you either cut it or you don't,

339. and he didn't.

340. So y'all can take your bellyaching elsewhere

341. 'cause it's fallin' on deaf ears.

342. Get on outta here before I have to take my belt off.

343. Ow!

344. Yo!

345. Oh, that's funny?

346. Y'all think that's funny?

347. What were my nieces and nephews doing here?

348. Yeah, they come in to plead your brother Harrison's job.

349. I—I guess none of them good salesmen, neither, huh?

350. You're beginning to scare me.

351. Can I adopt you?

352. Hey, Pete,

353. do you remember November 6, 1987?

354. How can I forget?

355. That's the day I set the sales record

356. for the entire Southern California area.

357. I sold 11 cars.

358. Well, 10. One of 'em had an explodin' gas tank.

359. Far as I'm concerned,

360. once they leave the showroom,

361. it's a sale.

362. Well, that don't matter

363. 'cause today I'm gonna sell 15.

364. Nobody can sell 15 cars.

365. Will Smith can sell 15 cars.

366. Oh, yeah? Why don't you try your hand

367. at that angry sister that just came in.

368. Yo, man!

369. That's my mom.

370. So what? A sale's a sale.

371. Hey, hey!

372. Mom!

373. Boy, where do you get off

374. dropping out of school?

375. Mrs. Smith, if I may interject—

376. who the hell are you?

377. Mom, this is my boss.

378. This is— this is Mr. Fletcher. Oh.

379. So you're the snake that lured my boy

380. from that fine institute of higher learning!

381. Mrs. Smith, your son has a bright and productive future

382. here at Mulholland motors.

383. You ever been beat up by a woman?

384. Not without having paid for it.

385. Uh, will, I'll be in my office

386. hiding under the desk if you need me.

387. Now, mom, listen,

388. for the first time in my life,

389. I've found somethin' that I'm good at

390. and that I enjoy. It feels good, mom.

391. Oh, yeah? Does this feel good? Ow!

392. Which way is that college? Mom!

393. Mom! Let's go.

394. Ow! This doesn't feel good, mom!

395. My commission!

396. This fat-free cake isn't bad.

397. Sir, that's a sponge.

398. Well, I guess I'll start my homework now!

399. You know, I got a lot of studyin' to do

400. if I expect to make the best

401. of this wonderful opportunity

402. to get my college education!

403. Will. Your mother's not here.

404. She went out to dinner with your aunt viv.

405. Well, she better had.

406. Will, I'm, uh...

407. I'm sorry we had to involve her in this,

408. but you left us no choice.

409. How in the world did she get the college to readmit you?

410. She threatened to enroll herself.

411. Well, we're all glad you finally came to your senses.

412. I mean, you have plenty of time to figure out what you want to do with your life.

413. And bein' a car salesman didn't exactly bring out

414. your most endearing qualities.

415. Uncle Phil, I was gettin' paid, man.

416. should provide you with a sense of pride and personal fulfillment.

417. It—it should tap into that part of you

418. that has something valuable to give to the world.

419. It shouldn't be just about money.

420. You really believe that, Uncle Phil?

421. Yes, son, I do.

422. Then how you explain being a lawyer?

423. I'm going to get another piece of sponge.

424. Captioning made possible by Warner bros.

425. How in the world did she get the college to readmit you?

426. She threatened to enroll herself.

427. well, we're all glad you came to your senses.

428. You know, you have plenty of time to figure out

429. what you want to do with your life.

430. And bein' a car salesman didn't exactly, uh,

431. promote your, uh...

432. Excuse me.

433. There's people from the lord.

434. There's people of the lord in the audience.

435. Well, it ain't like they ain't never used that word.

436. We sorry.

437. See—see, James— James Avery...

438. See, he's a heathen.

439. He's just a heathen.

440. Amen.

441. He's a blasphemer.

442. Here we go.