The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air 4x18

Directed by Maynard C. Virgil I

Branford Marsalis as Duane • Amy Hunter as Samantha • Thomas Bellin as Rude Old Guy • Tara Davis as Girl • David Tyler as Timid Guy

A Valentine's double date finds Will treating Ashley like a kid and Ashley demanding r-e-s-p-e-c-t.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. She still ain't showed up yet, huh, Carlton?

2. No, and I've been waiting over 2 hours.

3. Come on, man. Don't even be beating yourself up like this.

4. Everybody gets stood up once.

5. Once a month?

6. Why did I ever trust a computer dating service?

7. Carlton. Carlton. Hey, hey, come on, man.

8. Look, chances are a girl who matches up with you

9. has already taken her own life.

10. Very funny.

11. I'll be back in the stockroom

12. in the dark.

13. Carlton.

14. No.

15. I'm looking for Carlton banks.

16. Uh, just a second.

17. Oh, damn. Just... A second.

18. Damn.

19. What took you so long, girl? Damn.

20. ok, so tell me again.

21. Once the bread is in those little slots,

22. you just slide the lever down?

23. Fascinating, isn't it?

24. Um, hilary—

25. not now. I'm learning how to cook.

26. Good morning.

27. Good morning, madam.

28. Sweetheart, do you know what day it is today?

29. Of course I do.

30. So, what are we gonna do to celebrate?

31. Same thing we did last year, only better.

32. Gee, Uncle Phil, how are you gonna top last year?

33. Well, uh...

34. Happy Valentine's day!

35. Happy Valentine's day, sweetheart.

36. "Valentine's fun for you and your lover.

37. "Come sing at the peacock

38. for a $10 cover."

39. Neat, huh? And I rented a karaoke machine and everything.

40. Gosh, for real?

41. Aunt viv, can I be excused from the table?

42. I'm just too darn excited to eat.

43. Mom, dad, I've reserved special seats

44. right next to the speakers for you.

45. Thank you, son, but your father's got special plans for us tonight.

46. You big romantic guy, you.

47. Hilary, can you drive me and my date

48. to the movies tonight?

49. Sorry, ash, but I'm preparing dinner for my Valentine.

50. This is going to be a breeze.

51. Ashley, I'll give you a ride.

52. Oh, God.

53. Daddy, please. I don't want to spoil your plans for tonight.

54. I don't have anything special planned.

55. What about our big evening?

56. Oh, that's much later.

57. So, who are we dating?

58. Daddy, please, this is not going to help my reputation.

59. What's wrong with your reputation?

60. You are. You give every date I have the third degree.

61. Boys will not come near me at school

62. without having a lawyer present.

63. Yes!

64. Aah!

65. Yo! What's wrong with you, girl?

66. Will, daddy is going to drive me and my date

67. to the movies tonight.

68. That doesn't sound like that's a big deal, ash.

69. Will, the last time daddy

70. drove me and my date to the movies,

71. he wound up sitting in the two seats behind us.

72. Couldn't you just drop us off and pick us up?

73. I'm afraid that's a little bit of a problem, Ashley.

74. See, this girl that I'm datin' tonight

75. is kind of like a 6.6 on the Richter scale,

76. so I want to be there for all the aftershocks.

77. You know what I mean?

78. Yeah, I know what you're sayin'.

79. I'm doomed.

80. Ashley, I've circled the movies I feel are appropriate

81. for you and your, ha ha ha, friend.

82. "Free Willy.

83. "Beethoven ii.

84. The return of the care bears"?

85. That was my first choice.

86. Oh, but if your mother asks tomorrow,

87. I didn't get any extra butter on my popcorn.

88. Whoa, hey! Uncle Phil, check it out.

89. There's been a slight change of plans.

90. Ashley's going to double with me and my girl.

91. Uh-uh.

92. I'm not gonna have my daughter involved

93. in one of your wild evenings.

94. We—we playin' miniature golf.

95. That'll be cool unless the church group

96. shut that place down. You know?

97. And afterwards?

98. Well, I was thinkin' we'd run some guns to Nicaragua,

99. but we'll probably just come home.

100. Alright, will.

101. She's in your hands.

102. But if anything happens to her,

103. those hands will be without fingers.

104. Yes, sir! Lose my fingers, sir!

105. Hi! Good evening, everyone!

106. And welcome to rockin' Valentine's Eve!

107. Now, I know most of you are wondering 2 things—

108. how does he dress so well

109. and what is this thing called karaoke anyway?

110. Actually, karaoke has 2 definitions—

111. "Kara" as in carry a tune,

112. and "oke" as in okey-dokey, let the good times roll!

113. Ha ha ha!

114. I swear I made that reservation a week ago.

115. Philip, why don't you be a man

116. and admit that you forgot Valentine's day?

117. Alright. I admit it. I just forgot.

118. How come you don't forget Thanksgiving?

119. Why don't you just try to enjoy your son's party?

120. Hey, look who just floated in on cloud nine—

121. Philip and Vivian banks,

122. 2 people who over the years, never stopped loving each other.

123. I should know. My room's just down the hall.

124. Let's get outta here.

125. Hey there, funny valentines.

126. How about a love song?

127. we're here live at the St. Valentine's day open

128. where Samantha sacken is about to attempt a very difficult stroke.

129. Wait a minute! It looks as though

130. she's getting some help from her caddie.

131. Will, I thought you were the announcer.

132. Hey, hush up, child. I'm tryin' to help you with your form.

133. Stop. Not in front of your cousin.

134. Oh. Yeah, yeah, you're right.

135. Come on, let's go out to the car.

136. They are really sweet together.

137. What do you think he's sayin' to her?

138. Probably the same thing you were saying to girls

139. when you were his age.

140. I doubt it. When I was his age,

141. I was tryin' to get the girls to—

142. hmm.

143. No.

144. No, he's just— he's just a little kid,

145. and so is Ashley.

146. Not so little, will. She is a beautiful girl.

147. Didn't you see what the putter guy did?

148. No. What'd he do?

149. He dropped her ball on purpose.

150. Oh, pftt! Now, why would he do that?

151. Unless he was tryin' to check out her—

152. hmm.

153. No. Look, look, that is not possible.

154. Hey, when I was 15, it was possible.

155. Oh, yeah, but you was a little freak, though.

156. No. No. I'm just sayin'... You know. Things were a lot faster

157. in them public high schools.

158. She goes to bel-air academy.

159. I went to St. John's parochial.

160. Hmm. You still got that little dress and them shoes, huh?

161. Hey, Carl Lewis, put a move on it.

162. Hey, take it easy, pops. You'll be in a hole soon enough.

163. That's a really nice outfit.

164. Hey, look, if I make this putt,

165. you got to promise me that you're gonna...

166. Will!

167. Ha ha ha!

168. Bryan!

169. You know, Geoffrey,

170. just between you and me,

171. I was a little worried about making a whole dinner myself,

172. but there's really nothing to it.

173. Oh, miss hilary,

174. could you pass me that heavy iron skillet over there?

175. Hello?

176. How thoughtless of me.

177. Oh, dear, I better go tend to master Nicky.

178. What? Geoffrey, you can't go now.

179. But the baby needs me.

180. He needs you?

181. I'm the one with the orthopedist coming to dinner.

182. Geoffrey, I demand that you stay here and cook.

183. No!

184. Can you say that to me?

185. Well, um, l-let's try it again.

186. No.

187. By George, I've got it!

188. No! No! Geoffrey!

189. Geoffrey, you come back here! No!

190. No!

191. Ew!

192. Good God!

193. I think there's something wrong with the stove.

194. Hole in one!

195. Yes! My first one ever!

196. Ooh!

197. That bird just doogied on your head.

198. Will, I got a hole in one!

199. Oh, you'll do better next time, baby.

200. Oh, hey!

201. Hey, hey, check it out. Listen.

202. I got a idea.

203. Hey, how about we switch partners?

204. You go down there and play with, uh—w-with, uh—

205. Samantha.

206. Ah. Thanks a lot, Ashley.

207. No, thanks, man. I like playing right here.

208. Ok, Ashley, you go down play with what's-her-name.

209. Will...

210. Oh, you got another hole in one, baby? You good!

211. Gosh, it's getting warm out here.

212. Why don't you take your jacket off? Oh.

213. Daah... Ah.

214. Ashley, hey, check it out.

215. Um, um...

216. See, it's— it's some, uh...

217. It's some—some killer bees. Ok?

218. Uh, to come from Mexico.

219. And they—they could strike at any time.

220. And they love teenage flesh.

221. Thanks, but I'll risk it.

222. Don't worry, man. I ain't gonna let no bees get to this honey.

223. Ok, junior Mac. Uh, listen.

224. I think it's time we had a little chat, uh, mano a boyo.

225. Will, what're you doing?

226. Yeah, man. What's your problem?

227. I think the problem is something called a double standard.

228. Well, wait. Hold up, baby. Whose side you on?

229. I'm on the side that would like to continue our date.

230. And we would like to continue ours.

231. Thought we was all havin' a good time.

232. Don't you give me that innocent boy routine!

233. I know that routine. I invented that routine.

234. Ooh, I—I—I see right through you,

235. you—you... Little dog.

236. Ooh, shame.

237. Man, back off me, man. I just want to have some fun.

238. Fun?

239. Does this look a place to have fun?

240. I don't think so.

241. Ain't nobody gonna have no fun up in here.

242. Not me, not you, not her.

243. And definitely not me.

244. Good-bye, will.

245. Whoa. Baby, oh...

246. Come back here. What is her name?

247. The word was out on your father,

248. who knew your whole family was crazy?

249. Bryan, I'm so sorry.

250. Ashley, if you ever run away from home, give me a call.

251. Bryan, wait.

252. Let him go. Let him go, baby.

253. And good riddance, you little filthy mcnasty!

254. Will, how could you do this to me?

255. To you? Ashley, I'm doing this for you.

256. Ok, when you get older, you'll understand.

257. Look, let me make it better.

258. I'm gonna buy you ice cream.

259. No. I don't want anything. You're worse than daddy!

260. Nice job, cupid.

261. Ashley!

262. Yah!

263. Ooh. That's what I call a happy Valentine's day.

264. Ashley!

265. Why does everyone treat me

266. like I'm some poor, defenseless little girl?

267. Because you are, Ashley.

268. I mean, boys are just gonna try to take advantage of you.

269. That's my problem, not yours or my father's.

270. And you know what? I can handle it.

271. Oh, yeah, right, like, you can handle some big old dude

272. tryin' to be all over you

273. like—like cheese on a big Mac.

274. Will...

275. Maybe I like cheese.

276. Um... How you—

277. how you gonna like something you ain't never had?

278. Please tell me you ain't never had no cheese, Ashley.

279. No, but if I want to have sex,

280. I do not need your approval!

281. It—it—it's cheese, Ashley.

282. What y'all lookin' at?

283. Excuse us.

284. Look at me.

285. I'm not the 11-year-old I was

286. when you first moved to bel-air.

287. Do you understand?

288. Yeah. Yeah, I do.

289. Maybe we need to send you to an all-girl school,

290. just so you keep your head on your studies.

291. Ash—Ashley. Ash—

292. ok, that's twice. Ashley.

293. Ashley, come— come back here.

294. I ain't playin', girl.

295. Come back here! And what are you lookin' at?

296. Well, can you fix it or not?

297. Lady, this thing needs a new mess of parts.

298. I'm gonna have to come back tomorrow.

299. Tomorrow?

300. Don't you have, like, a spare stove in your truck?

301. No. I took it out when I put in the hot tub.

302. Listen, you...

303. Duane...

304. I happen to have an orthopedist coming to dinner.

305. It's Valentine's day.

306. Or wasn't there a sign or something in the trailer park?

307. Listen, you...

308. The stove has to wait until tomorrow.

309. But while I'm here, maybe I can adjust your attitude.

310. Hello!

311. Oh, hi, don.

312. You what?

313. Oh.

314. Yeah, I understand.

315. Sure.

316. Bye.

317. Problems?

318. My date got called to the emergency room.

319. Some old lady fractured her hip

320. and broke her leg in 5 places.

321. Do I have the worst luck or what?

322. You're not the only person that had things to do.

323. I had to go out clubbin' with the maytag repairman.

324. He doesn't get out much, you know.

325. Is that a smile? Was that a smile that I just saw?

326. It looks really nice on you, too.

327. You know what?

328. As long as neither of us are doin' anything,

329. why don't we not do it together?

330. Oh, well, that's very sweet, but...

331. How can I put this nicely?

332. I'm too good for you.

333. I usually don't say this to a woman, but you know what?

334. You're probably right.

335. Happy Valentine's day, pretty lady.

336. Duane?

337. Do you fix microwaves?

338. can we go now, please?

339. No.

340. I don't want this evening to ever end.

341. Stop. You don't want to be here any more than I do.

342. You're right.

343. I would rather be in a romantic, beautiful restaurant

344. having a wonderful Valentine's day dinner.

345. But you didn't remember.

346. oh, sweetheart, sweetheart,

347. sweetheart, I, you know—

348. come on, everybody. Hum with me.

349. Sweetheart, I...

350. Work very hard...

351. To provide a good life

352. for you and my family.

353. And every night,

354. I hold you in my arms,

355. and I kiss you good night.

356. I don't need a holiday

357. to tell you that I love you.

358. I show you all year.

359. Oh, Philip.

360. Ohh...

361. We're goin' to Paris on our anniversary.

362. Philip...

363. Oh, that's next week.

364. It is?

365. Ashley?

366. Oh, great.

367. I just paid a $10 cover to spend Valentine's day with my parents.

368. Where's will? I don't know and I don't care.

369. How did you get here?

370. I took a bus. You what?

371. You got a lot of explainin' to do! So do you!

372. Lettin' this child wander around the street at night?

373. I'm not a child!

374. You were supposed to watch out for her.

375. I did. That's why I kicked that little nasty boyfriend's butt out.

376. Wait. What'd he do to my little girl?

377. I'm not a little girl! Hey!

378. A little less yelling and shouting,

379. a little more humming and clapping.

380. Ohh!

381. Look, all I know is...

382. Where is the girl that—

383. and she was naked.

384. Who was naked?

385. No, no, no! All I know is...

386. 5, 4, 3, 2.

387. We're here live at the St. Valentine's day open

388. where Samantha sacken is about to attempt

389. a very difficult stroke.

390. Oh, wait! It looks like she's getting help

391. from her caddie.

392. Ty, you can't walk through the shot.

393. Oh, my God.

394. Jeez.

395. You little filthy mcnasty.