1. O.K. O.K.
Copy !req
2. Everybody listen up.
Listen up.
Copy !req
3. As acting manager
while Jackie's away,
Copy !req
4. I'd like to announce
a few changes.
Copy !req
5. Now, due to
the numerous requests,
Copy !req
6. the no-tipping policy
has been waived.
Copy !req
7. Oh, and, uh...
Copy !req
8. Slimmies,
don't forget to pick up
Copy !req
9. your application
for the new and exclusive
Copy !req
10. stockroom club.
Copy !req
11. So, you're
in charge now,
huh, will?
Copy !req
12. Oh, sure.
Copy !req
13. And you know
what they say.
Copy !req
14. Behind every
successful man,
there's a woman.
Copy !req
15. But if you wanted
to switch positions,
Copy !req
16. I'm with that, too.
Copy !req
17. Hey, hey,
where you going?
Copy !req
18. Where you going?
Copy !req
19. Come here, girl.
Copy !req
20. Oh, hey.
Copy !req
21. Professor milligan,
how you doing?
Copy !req
22. Don't tell me.
Don't tell me.
Copy !req
23. You're coming here
to swear me in
as the new manager.
Copy !req
24. You're making
the right choice,
Copy !req
25. 'cause this place
is bumping.
Copy !req
26. Maybe so,
Copy !req
27. but sales aren't.
Copy !req
28. Take a look.
Copy !req
29. Ohh.
Copy !req
30. Oh, oh.
Copy !req
31. You throw
a good party, will,
Copy !req
32. but nobody's spending.
Copy !req
33. I'm afraid
you're just not
management material.
Copy !req
34. Wait. Hey...
Copy !req
35. Hey, hey.
Copy !req
36. Professor mill,
hey, listen, listen.
Copy !req
37. You're not going to let
a silly little thing
like profits
Copy !req
38. stand in the way
of my promotion,
are you?
Copy !req
39. I've already
made my decision.
Copy !req
40. I'm bringing in
Copy !req
41. one of my most
conscientious freshman
business students
Copy !req
42. for the job.
Copy !req
43. Bakes me muffins
every day.
Copy !req
44. No.
Copy !req
45. No.
Copy !req
46. No, he—he—he—
he's not, uh...
Copy !req
47. Well, hmm?
Copy !req
48. Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
49. Well...
Copy !req
50. Ha ha ha ha ha.
Copy !req
51. Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
52. Uh...
Copy !req
53. Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
54. Uhh...
Copy !req
55. well, where did you
get this thing?
Copy !req
56. They were
passing them out
at school.
Copy !req
57. Hey, hey, hey.
What's that?
Copy !req
58. The "I hate hilary"
newsletter.
Copy !req
59. "Dedicated
to the premise
Copy !req
60. "that weathercaster
hilary banks
Copy !req
61. "is a...
Copy !req
62. Boob."
Copy !req
63. Get to
the insulting part.
Copy !req
64. "Hilary banks
doesn't know the difference
Copy !req
65. between a cirrus cloud
and a cumulus cloud."
Copy !req
66. What is the difference?
Copy !req
67. Will, look around.
Copy !req
68. Do you see
me teleprompter here?
Copy !req
69. "Hilary's knowledge
of the weather
Copy !req
70. "is as skimpy as
those ridiculous outfits
Copy !req
71. she wears on the air."
Copy !req
72. It's one thing to
attack my performance,
but my wardrobe?
Copy !req
73. I don't think so.
Copy !req
74. Yep.
Copy !req
75. Every business major
at ula
Copy !req
76. wanted the peacock.
Copy !req
77. My prospectus
blew away
the competition.
Copy !req
78. Who knows?
I could be
the next Ross perot.
Copy !req
79. I don't know.
Let's see.
Copy !req
80. Short,
obnoxious.
Copy !req
81. You only need
a bad haircut.
Copy !req
82. And your ears.
Copy !req
83. Ohh!
Copy !req
84. Well,
I'm proud of you, son.
Copy !req
85. Your first job,
Copy !req
86. and you're running
the entire operation.
Copy !req
87. That's right, big guy.
Copy !req
88. There aren't too many
first-year students
Copy !req
89. with my level
of savvy and maturity.
Copy !req
90. Fruity pebbles!
Copy !req
91. And there's a little
tugboat inside, Ross.
Copy !req
92. You know, dad,
the best part is,
Copy !req
93. this could be
my ticket to Princeton.
Copy !req
94. Professor milligan says
that Ivy league schools
Copy !req
95. look favorably
on management experience.
Copy !req
96. How do they feel about
Copy !req
97. guys who still depend
on the crossing guard?
Copy !req
98. That's a dangerous
intersection, mister.
Copy !req
99. Hey, dude.
Copy !req
100. Hey, hey!
Copy !req
101. You're going to have to
come to an understanding
Copy !req
102. and work this thing out.
Copy !req
103. Uh, all right.
Copy !req
104. I'm willing to try
if you are...
Copy !req
105. Boss.
Copy !req
106. Aw, put it there,
Smith.
Copy !req
107. Ow!
Copy !req
108. Ow!
Copy !req
109. Ow!
Copy !req
110. Well...
Copy !req
111. This might be
a good experience
Copy !req
112. for both of them.
Copy !req
113. Especially
master William
Copy !req
114. who will
discover the joy
Copy !req
115. of working
for a banks.
Copy !req
116. Hey...
Copy !req
117. Professor kemp,
Professor meyers.
Copy !req
118. Hey, will,
how are the subs today?
Copy !req
119. Oh, well, you know.
Copy !req
120. Sort of like
your lectures—
Copy !req
121. long, stale,
and full of baloney.
Copy !req
122. I'm stupid.
I'm stupid.
Copy !req
123. I just failed,
didn't I?
Copy !req
124. Here's a sub...
On the house.
Copy !req
125. Thank you.
Copy !req
126. All right.
Copy !req
127. Instant "a."
Copy !req
128. What up, Dex?
Copy !req
129. Look, man.
Copy !req
130. I saw Donna
the other night
at the quad,
Copy !req
131. and I told her that
breaking up with you
Copy !req
132. was the biggest mistake
she ever made.
Copy !req
133. So she'll see me again?
Copy !req
134. No. She hates
your guts.
Copy !req
135. Hey, but, look.
Copy !req
136. There's always more
fish in the sea.
Copy !req
137. I should know.
Copy !req
138. They call me
aquaman.
Copy !req
139. Well, I've spent
the whole morning
back in the stockroom.
Copy !req
140. What a mess.
Copy !req
141. Do you believe
someone actually
papered the ceiling
Copy !req
142. with hundreds
of jbeauties?
Copy !req
143. That's fly,
ain't it?
Copy !req
144. I like to
think of it
Copy !req
145. as my own
sistine chapel.
Copy !req
146. Yeah, well, Felipe's
been in there worshipping
for two hours.
Copy !req
147. Hey, hey.
Relax, little fella.
Copy !req
148. You'll get
your turn.
Copy !req
149. Hey, hey, hey.
What up, dog?
Copy !req
150. Dog?
Copy !req
151. Will, this is
a place of business,
Copy !req
152. not a kennel.
Copy !req
153. Therefore
you will greet
each customer
Copy !req
154. as follows...
Copy !req
155. "Hello. I'm..."
Copy !req
156. Your name here.
Copy !req
157. "Welcome to the peacock
where our motto is,
Copy !req
158. whatever you want,
we've got it."
Copy !req
159. I'll give that a shot.
Copy !req
160. Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Copy !req
161. My name's will.
Copy !req
162. Welcome to
the peacock
Copy !req
163. where our motto is,
Copy !req
164. girl,
whatever you got,
I want it.
Copy !req
165. Arrr.
Copy !req
166. Will,
you're getting it
all wrong.
Copy !req
167. Hey, look, man.
As long as
I'm getting it.
Copy !req
168. Look, will,
Copy !req
169. personal
relationships aside,
Copy !req
170. I'm your boss,
Copy !req
171. and you have to
listen to me.
Copy !req
172. Oh, I'm sorry, Carlton.
Copy !req
173. You say something?
Copy !req
174. May I remind you
I'm the one issuing
your paycheck?
Copy !req
175. Yes, sir,
general shortkopf.
Copy !req
176. Aw, that's the spirit,
soldier.
Copy !req
177. I am so frustrated.
Copy !req
178. What's the matter?
Copy !req
179. Mom and I wrote down
Copy !req
180. a bunch of
meteorological terms
for me to memorize,
Copy !req
181. and I keep
screwing them up.
Copy !req
182. Why didn't I become
an anchorperson?
Copy !req
183. They don't have to know
hardly anything.
Copy !req
184. Sweetheart,
Copy !req
185. it's commendable
that you want to
improve your skills,
Copy !req
186. but you don't
have to impress
those newsletter people.
Copy !req
187. I don't want
to impress them.
Copy !req
188. I want to smack them.
Copy !req
189. Daddy...
Copy !req
190. You're a judge.
Copy !req
191. Can't you just
throw them in jail
or something?
Copy !req
192. Sweetheart,
the worst thing
you can do
Copy !req
193. is blow this thing
out of proportion.
Copy !req
194. Now, if you ignore it,
it'll probably go away.
Copy !req
195. You really referred
to hurricane Robert
Copy !req
196. as "Bobby"?
Copy !req
197. Well, "Robert" just
sounded so serious.
Copy !req
198. It was serious,
darling.
Copy !req
199. It wiped out
half of Miami.
Copy !req
200. Well, excuse me
for trying to spread
a little sunshine.
Copy !req
201. Daddy, I just
can't stand the idea
of people hating me.
Copy !req
202. People love to
attack celebrities.
Copy !req
203. It's part of
the price you pay
Copy !req
204. for being
in the public eye.
Copy !req
205. I'm going to
call someone
Copy !req
206. who's been through this.
Copy !req
207. Who's that, honey?
Copy !req
208. Someone who knows
what it's like to be hated.
Copy !req
209. 5-5-5-9-0-2-1...
Copy !req
210. Oh, shannen?
Copy !req
211. Hi. Hilary banks.
Copy !req
212. You remember that
"I hate Brenda" thing
Copy !req
213. that you went through?
Copy !req
214. What do you mean
you don't know me?
Copy !req
215. You spilled a drink on me
at roxbury.
Copy !req
216. Hello?
Copy !req
217. Hello?
Copy !req
218. Boy, she's not going
to make many friends
Copy !req
219. with that attitude.
Copy !req
220. Excuse me.
Copy !req
221. Ladies,
I'm Carlton banks,
Copy !req
222. peacock manager.
Copy !req
223. These tables
are for eating,
not loitering.
Copy !req
224. We did eat.
Copy !req
225. Yes, you did...
Copy !req
226. Seven minutes ago.
Copy !req
227. You're saying
we have to leave?
Copy !req
228. No, no, no.
You can stay...
Copy !req
229. If you order
something else.
Copy !req
230. Look, I particularly
recommend
Copy !req
231. the shrimp peacocktail.
Copy !req
232. Will, I could use
a little help out here.
Copy !req
233. Yo, I ain't
coming out, man.
Copy !req
234. Fine.
Copy !req
235. Then you're
not getting paid.
Copy !req
236. Damn!
Copy !req
237. Carlton...
Copy !req
238. I think we need to
have a little talk,
man.
Copy !req
239. You know,
bird to nerd.
Copy !req
240. Sorry.
Copy !req
241. I'm busy.
Copy !req
242. So, ladies,
Copy !req
243. have you decided?
Copy !req
244. Drop dead.
Copy !req
245. Excellent choice.
Copy !req
246. Look around, man.
Copy !req
247. The peacock
is a place
Copy !req
248. where people just
come to kick it, man,
Copy !req
249. to relax,
Copy !req
250. get away from
the pressures of class.
Copy !req
251. If you hassle them,
they'll just go
somewhere else.
Copy !req
252. Where?
Copy !req
253. The closest competition
is three blocks off campus.
Copy !req
254. We've got these people
by the textbooks.
Copy !req
255. We can charge
Copy !req
256. and pretty much
do whatever we want!
Copy !req
257. This is like sex
to you, isn't it?
Copy !req
258. Yes!
Copy !req
259. Well, you know what?
Copy !req
260. It doesn't
turn me on.
Copy !req
261. I think you're
being an idiot.
Copy !req
262. What do you think
you're going to do
with that, mister?
Copy !req
263. I'm marking up
the prices, will.
Copy !req
264. I can't let you
do that, Carlton.
Copy !req
265. These people
are students.
Copy !req
266. They're good people.
Copy !req
267. Decent people.
Copy !req
268. They can't afford
to pay any more.
Copy !req
269. Save it for
someone who cares.
Copy !req
270. Freeze, man!
Copy !req
271. Do what you got to do,
cowboy.
Copy !req
272. Hey, give me
back my gun!
Copy !req
273. Listen,
as your boss,
Copy !req
274. I'm not going
to tolerate
Copy !req
275. that kind of
insubordination.
Copy !req
276. You're not my boss.
Copy !req
277. You're just
some butt-kissing,
apple-a-day suck up
Copy !req
278. that got lucky.
Copy !req
279. That outburst
will cost you
a reduction in hours!
Copy !req
280. I'll do you
one better.
Copy !req
281. How about zero hours?
Copy !req
282. I quit!
Copy !req
283. Oh, yeah?
Copy !req
284. Well...
Copy !req
285. Well...
Copy !req
286. Don't ask me for
any recommendation!
Copy !req
287. I know will's mad,
but this is ridiculous.
Copy !req
288. He hasn't
talked to me
in two days.
Copy !req
289. What do you think
I should do?
Copy !req
290. Count your blessings.
Copy !req
291. Hey, what's up...
Copy !req
292. G?
Copy !req
293. Will...
Copy !req
294. Kchh.
Copy !req
295. Will,
you can't keep
Copy !req
296. chee-ing me.
Copy !req
297. It's kchh,
Copy !req
298. not chee.
Copy !req
299. That's what I said.
Copy !req
300. Chee.
Copy !req
301. You can't
even kchh right.
Copy !req
302. Look, just stay
out of my face, man.
Copy !req
303. I'm not
speaking to you.
Copy !req
304. Fine. Be that way.
Copy !req
305. Master William,
Copy !req
306. I've never seen you
behave so coldly.
Copy !req
307. I like it.
Copy !req
308. Look, g.,
a man has got to
stand his ground.
Copy !req
309. A man also has to work
to pay his bills.
Copy !req
310. Otherwise I'd be out
parasailing with these.
Copy !req
311. Seriously,
Copy !req
312. what are you
going to do for money?
Copy !req
313. Already
taken care of, g.
Copy !req
314. Got me a new job
three blocks off campus—
Copy !req
315. chessler's touchdown.
Copy !req
316. This is an outrage.
Copy !req
317. I swear that dent
was in that car
Copy !req
318. before I hit
that mailbox.
Copy !req
319. What dent?
Copy !req
320. Exactly. So what
were you saying?
Copy !req
321. Oh.
Those newsletter bozos
Copy !req
322. put a big
"honk if you hate hilary"
billboard
Copy !req
323. at the corner of
sunset and Doheny.
Copy !req
324. Oh, damn.
Copy !req
325. That means
they took down
the naughty nighty girl.
Copy !req
326. Ohh.
Copy !req
327. Hilary!
Copy !req
328. Hilary.
Copy !req
329. More snow today
Copy !req
330. with temperatures dropping
to the low teens
Copy !req
331. this evening.
Copy !req
332. I have
the greatest idea.
Copy !req
333. By watching
New York's weather,
Copy !req
334. I'll have
a three-hour jump
on the competition.
Copy !req
335. Honey,
Copy !req
336. that might not work
every time.
Copy !req
337. Listen,
Copy !req
338. when you drove
to work today,
Copy !req
339. you didn't,
by any chance,
Copy !req
340. go down sunset boulevard,
did you?
Copy !req
341. I couldn't.
Copy !req
342. It was backed up
for Miles.
Copy !req
343. Everyone was honking
like it was
new year's Eve.
Copy !req
344. Chance of snow
Copy !req
345. with a minus 3
windchill.
Copy !req
346. Well,
my work is done.
Copy !req
347. I'm going shopping.
Copy !req
348. Um, sweetheart,
I've thought it over,
Copy !req
349. and, you know,
you're right.
Copy !req
350. I'm going to
put an end to this
newsletter business.
Copy !req
351. I'll get right to work.
Copy !req
352. Oh, thank you, daddy.
Copy !req
353. Now, dress warm.
It's going to snow.
Copy !req
354. W-w—please don't go.
Copy !req
355. Look,
Copy !req
356. I apologize
for performing
Copy !req
357. the heimlich maneuver
on you.
Copy !req
358. I thought
you were choking.
Copy !req
359. And, uh, now...
Copy !req
360. To create
a more festive mood,
Copy !req
361. the peacock
is proud to present
Copy !req
362. music from Hawaii.
Copy !req
363. The entertainment charge
Copy !req
364. has already been added
into your check.
Copy !req
365. Uh, also,
Copy !req
366. we are pleased
to announce
Copy !req
367. that the proceeds
from our new pay toilets
Copy !req
368. have enabled us to buy
Copy !req
369. this brand-new
metal detector.
Copy !req
370. Remember—
Copy !req
371. less flatware theft
Copy !req
372. means lower prices for you,
Copy !req
373. our valued consumer.
Copy !req
374. Man,
they ought to draw
a chalk outline
Copy !req
375. around this place.
Copy !req
376. Jazz!
Copy !req
377. Uh, so,
what can I get you—
Copy !req
378. a sandwich,
a t-shirt?
Copy !req
379. Peacock-a-cola?
Copy !req
380. I made that one
up myself.
Copy !req
381. It shows.
Copy !req
382. I came by
to see will.
Copy !req
383. Mr. Smith
is no longer
employed here.
Copy !req
384. Looks like he took
everybody with him, too.
Copy !req
385. They didn't leave
because of will.
Copy !req
386. They left
because of me.
Copy !req
387. I mean...
Copy !req
388. They just need time
to get acclimated
Copy !req
389. to some of
my new policies.
Copy !req
390. Felipe told me
you cut the teeth marks
off the pickles
Copy !req
391. and reuse them.
Copy !req
392. Look, jazz,
I'm in real trouble.
Copy !req
393. My Professor's
coming down
Copy !req
394. to check on business.
Copy !req
395. You know
lots of people.
Copy !req
396. Maybe you can
bring some by.
Copy !req
397. What's in it for me?
Copy !req
398. Well...
Copy !req
399. You know
how your pigeons
Copy !req
400. are always
getting sick
all the time?
Copy !req
401. My babies.
Copy !req
402. I'll pay
their vet bill
Copy !req
403. for the rest
of the year.
Copy !req
404. Even Oliver?
Copy !req
405. He has a heart murmur.
Copy !req
406. Even Oliver.
Copy !req
407. Be back in an hour.
Copy !req
408. Aah!
Copy !req
409. Jazz, what is this?
Copy !req
410. Pretty good job, huh?
Copy !req
411. It's nice having friends
you can call on
at the last minute.
Copy !req
412. Oliver.
Copy !req
413. Banks!
Copy !req
414. What is
going on here?
Copy !req
415. Uh, Professor milligan,
Copy !req
416. well, um...
Copy !req
417. See, sir,
Copy !req
418. I've managed
to diversify
Copy !req
419. our clientele.
Copy !req
420. If anybody asks,
Copy !req
421. I've been with you
all day.
Copy !req
422. Banks,
Copy !req
423. I don't know
what you've done,
Copy !req
424. but I suggest
you fix it
Copy !req
425. or you're
done with this.
Copy !req
426. But...
Copy !req
427. But, sir, look...
Copy !req
428. Jazz, you better
get those freaks
Copy !req
429. out of here
immediately.
Copy !req
430. You're the boss.
Copy !req
431. All right,
you weirdos,
Copy !req
432. beat it.
Copy !req
433. Daddy,
I've got some news.
Copy !req
434. So do I.
Copy !req
435. I filed
the necessary
court papers.
Copy !req
436. We'll have
that newsletter
killed in no time.
Copy !req
437. Daddy, don't you dare.
Copy !req
438. My ratings this week
have gone through the roof!
Copy !req
439. They're talking about
letting me announce
the lottery number!
Copy !req
440. Well, what about
your reputation?
Copy !req
441. So what if
a few people
don't like me?
Copy !req
442. I'm a hit!
Copy !req
443. Is this
the kind of fame
you want?
Copy !req
444. People will be
tuning in
looking for a laugh.
Copy !req
445. Hello?
Copy !req
446. You're kidding.
Copy !req
447. Well, of course
I'm interested!
Copy !req
448. Who was that?
Copy !req
449. They're thinking
of making me
an anchorperson!
Copy !req
450. Oh.
Copy !req
451. I've got to
brush up.
Copy !req
452. Who is this
Bosnia person
Copy !req
453. I keep
hearing about?
Copy !req
454. Ohh...
Copy !req
455. 48...
Copy !req
456. 49...
Copy !req
457. 50! Bam!
Copy !req
458. Have fun with
them potatoes, spud.
Copy !req
459. Ooh, hey.
Copy !req
460. Come on, girl.
Copy !req
461. Will,
I've thought about it,
Copy !req
462. and I can't let you
do this to yourself.
Copy !req
463. Hey, come on, Carlton.
Copy !req
464. Come back when
I'm on a break, all right?
Copy !req
465. excuse me.
Copy !req
466. May I cut in?
Copy !req
467. Carlton,
what are you doing?
Copy !req
468. This is a sports bar.
Copy !req
469. I know you
left the peacock
Copy !req
470. because of
your foolish pride.
Copy !req
471. No. I left because
of my foolish cousin.
Copy !req
472. You can't
be happy here.
Copy !req
473. This is a franchise,
Copy !req
474. the kind of place
where they treat employees
Copy !req
475. like faceless,
anonymous nobodies.
Copy !req
476. Will Smith,
Copy !req
477. come on up here.
Copy !req
478. I know.
Copy !req
479. You only been here
four days,
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480. but the staff
has voted you...
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481. Employee of the week!
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482. How about a hand
for our will Smith,
huh?
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483. Hey!
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484. Hey!
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485. And by the way,
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486. for winning
this honor,
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487. you get
the weekend off...
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488. With pay.
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489. Hey, hey, hey!
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490. Ohh!
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491. Ohh!
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492. Oh, Carlton!
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493. Save me
from this hellhole!
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494. O.K., will.
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495. I was willing to let
bygones be bygones,
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496. but I can see
it's no use.
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497. It is no use, right?
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498. Fine.
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499. I guess
the dream is over.
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500. I'm obviously
not management material.
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501. All those summers
at business camp
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502. were just a waste of time.
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503. Oh, Carlton,
hold up, man.
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504. Look, you're not
a bad manager.
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505. You just stink
when it comes
to people.
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506. And you stink
when it comes
to business.
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507. So what does
that tell you?
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508. That we both stink.
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509. Yes, individually.
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510. But together
we'd smell like success.
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511. What do you say, will?
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512. Uh, no, man.
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513. I got
a good thing here.
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514. Oh, come on, will.
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515. I'll make it
worth your while.
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516. I'll give you
priority shifts,
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517. you can wear
your own clothes,
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518. and you've got
unlimited use
of the stockroom.
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519. Nah, man.
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520. What do you want, will?
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521. You know...
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522. I—I kind of
want you to beg me.
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523. Beg?
I don't know
how to beg.
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524. I'm rich.
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525. Look, will,
I'll give you $1,000
if you come back.
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526. You don't get it,
do you?
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527. Carlton,
it isn't always about
facts and figures
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528. and green
pieces of paper
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529. with dead presidents
on them.
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530. Look...
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531. A man's most
valuable possession
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532. is his self-respect.
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533. Make it 2,000.
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534. Let me get my hat.
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535. Hey, hey, hey.
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536. Professor mill, chill.
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537. Hey, lis-listen, man.
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538. Look, um...
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539. Now, um...
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540. Listen, hey...
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541. Hey...
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542. Hey...
Hey...
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543. Hey...
Hey...
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544. Hey, but listen...
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545. Hey...
Hey...
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546. Hey...
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547. Hey, hey...
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548. I got it.
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