The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air 4x14

Ross Bagley as Nicky Banks • Branford Marsalis as Himself • Ashley Jensen as Connie • Jeanine Michelle as Girl

Will pays for putting off studying for a midterm until the last minute, and Ashley pays for staying out late on her first date.

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!req The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air 4x14 [02:32]
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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Why don't you put that down

2. and come sit next to me?

3. How's that?

4. Everything cool?

5. Did it work?

6. Perfect, branford.

7. I'm glad you liked it.

8. I'm off like a dirty shirt.

9. Peace with two fingers.

10. Give Jay some for me.

11. There's definitely some perks to working for nbc.

12. I call the couch.

13. I'm sleeping on the couch.

14. You can sleep under the couch.

15. I'm sleeping on the couch.

16. No.

17. Grow up, you two.

18. I can't believe you're staying here.

19. Imagine— calling an exterminator for some harmless crickets.

20. They're supposed to be soothing.

21. Whoa, Uncle Phil.

22. I don't think you understand.

23. These ain't them cute little

24. "jiminy wish upon a star" crickets.

25. These are big, mean, nasty, bug-eyed,

26. "take over the human race" kind of crickets.

27. You can borrow my makeup, but the key is subtlety.

28. Your date should think you stepped out of vogue,

29. not a clown car.

30. Date?

31. Tonight's the night I go to the movies with Randy.

32. Randy who?

33. Why wasn't I consulted about this?

34. Stop pretending you don't know.

35. You already gave permission.

36. You cannot keep girls from growing up.

37. I can, and I will.

38. Look, Ashley, come here.

39. Seeing how this is your first real date,

40. there's some things you need to know.

41. If you're going to hold the popcorn,

42. make you sure hold it up in plain sight

43. so when he reaches for the bucket, he don't miss.

44. Stop at a gas station and make sure that tank's full.

45. And if he tells you to pull his finger,

46. don't do it.

47. Oh, man.

48. Thanks, but it's just a little, innocent date.

49. Nothing's going to happen.

50. You're right nothing's going to happen,

51. because I want you back here at 9:30.

52. The movie doesn't end until 10:00.

53. You can catch the end when it comes out on video.

54. Ashley, be back by 10:30.

55. 10:30 on the dot.

56. Not 10:31,

57. and that's in this house.

58. Not on the porch. Not parked in the driveway.

59. Now I'm going to check the video camera

60. over the front door.

61. Daddy never gave Hillary a curfew.

62. He was probably hoping she wouldn't come back.

63. Oh, that reminds me.

64. I'll be late tonight.

65. I'm shooting a commercial

66. for casual cup coffee.

67. Great. How'd you get it?

68. The director said I reminded him of the coffee.

69. Yeah. He probably thought

70. you was hot, creamy, and rich.

71. Oh, yeah, that's it.

72. I was pretty sure I wasn't Mountain-grown.

73. Check, please.

74. That leaves the house to just you and me.

75. I'll write my paper

76. while you study for your chemistry midterm.

77. It'll be just like the study center.

78. We can make it even more like the study center—

79. I won't be here.

80. I'm going out to play some ball.

81. But you told me you haven't studied yet.

82. I haven't.

83. I'm the king of cram.

84. All I need's three solid hours.

85. Let me tell you a story about the grasshopper and the ant.

86. I really don't feel like hearing

87. about you and your friends.

88. Just listen.

89. See, the grasshopper goofed off

90. while the ant worked hard storing up food for the winter.

91. When the winter came, the ant had food,

92. but the grasshopper starved to death.

93. Know the moral of the story?

94. Even if we were insects, I'd be bigger than you.

95. All, hail!

96. The king of cram is about to take his throne.

97. Ha ha ha ha ha!

98. This is really sad.

99. It's 10:30, and you're just now cracking open that book.

100. No, that's not true.

101. I cracked it earlier

102. when I wrote down this honey's phone number.

103. Want to hear a chemistry rhyme?

104. No, not really.

105. Little Timmy took a drink, but he will drink no more,

106. for what he thought was h2o was h2so4.

107. That's how I remember the equation for sulfuric acid.

108. Oh, I got one. I got one.

109. Little Carlton was a boy

110. whose body was short and stumpy.

111. He never shut his mouth,

112. so I kicked his little rumpy.

113. Ahh.

114. Uh, are you quite finished?

115. Yeah. All ready.

116. Carlton, that's— that's really annoying.

117. Sorry. Nervous habit.

118. Sorry. Nervous habit.

119. Fool.

120. I'm so sorry, Geoffrey.

121. If I put him down, he cries even harder.

122. Would you mind making some more formula?

123. Mind?

124. You woke me from a marvelous dream.

125. I haven't had one this good

126. since I was strip-searched at Dulles airport.

127. Welcome to the exciting world of chemistry.

128. Could you hold him for just a second?

129. Aunt viv, come on, I...

130. He stopped.

131. Well, these fingers can work magic.

132. At least that's what the honeys tell me.

133. O.K. It's 10:37.

134. I'm calling the police.

135. The police don't need your hysterical calls

136. cluttering up their phone lines.

137. They've got to catch real criminals.

138. Like the murderous muggers and thugs

139. that hang around movie theaters after hours?

140. She's at the mall.

141. She's not at the pussycat theater.

142. I've never seen a mugger at the pussycat theater.

143. Hello.

144. Mr. banks,

145. can I speak to Ashley?

146. No. She's not home.

147. Daddy, I got it.

148. Ashley, where are you?

149. Upstairs in my room.

150. I got home 20 minutes ago.

151. I want to talk to Connie.

152. I'll tell you about it tomorrow.

153. All right, sweetheart. Good night.

154. This is too easy.

155. Don't I feel like an idiot?

156. Ashley got home 20 minutes ago.

157. She's upstairs on the phone.

158. Oh, really?

159. That's a load off my mind.

160. I'll go to bed.

161. Good night, Geoffrey.

162. Good night, sir.

163. Idiot.

164. Maybe you can hold Nicky until he falls asleep.

165. Aunt viv, listen, I have to study.

166. You can't study if the baby's crying.

167. It shouldn't take long. He hasn't slept all day.

168. All right.

169. You are getting sleepy...

170. Very, very sleepy.

171. Your eyelids are getting heavier.

172. Your little head is drooping.

173. Hi. I'm back.

174. Maybe we should try a bottle and a warm bath.

175. I thought you'd never ask.

176. The coffee commercial went great.

177. I take a big sip of coffee and say,

178. "I'm Hillary banks, TV weather girl.

179. "When my head isn't in the clouds,

180. "I relax with casual cup coffee.

181. It tastes like you ground the beans yourself."

182. The first take, I said, "tastes like you found the beans yourself."

183. Next take I said, "when my head isn't in the crowds."

184. How many takes did you do?

185. 41. You'd think I'd be tired,

186. but I'm more awake now than when I started.

187. Did you forget to spit after each take?

188. Spit it out? I'm nuts about coffee,

189. although it's made from beans

190. so I must be beans about coffee.

191. I'd love to continue this fascinating monologue,

192. but I have to get some studying done.

193. If coffee's made from beans,

194. does that make it a vegetable?

195. Why are you following me?

196. Don't you work in the morning?

197. Shouldn't you get some sleep?

198. I'd love to, but I'm wide awake.

199. Whee!

200. Try doing something boring

201. like reading the dictionary?

202. Do you have one?

203. Of course I do. It's propping up my makeup table.

204. Whee!

205. Whee!

206. Finally.

207. Oh!

208. Carlton, I need your earplugs.

209. I can't concentrate.

210. I've read that same sentence two million times.

211. If this test covers more than

212. "welcome to the exciting world of chemistry,"

213. I'm done.

214. Well, maybe next time you won't put things off until the last minute.

215. You know what?

216. You're right, man,

217. and I've been wanting to squeeze your peasy little head

218. like a grape all day long,

219. and now's as good a time as any.

220. Give me those earplugs.

221. I'm not sharing anything with you.

222. Who knows where those ears have been?

223. That's it. Come on.

224. Get over here. Get over here.

225. Time out. Ashley's home.

226. Ashley?

227. I thought she was upstairs in bed.

228. You also thought 2pac shakure was a Jewish holiday.

229. Why is everybody still up?

230. You're making it very difficult for me to sneak in.

231. Ashley, even you should know

232. if you're trying to get past Uncle Phil,

233. you don't go through the kitchen.

234. I have a lot to learn.

235. You learned too much.

236. What you doing running my phone scam?

237. Well, it worked.

238. That's not the point.

239. You don't realize

240. the dangers that are lurking out there.

241. Listen, guys are only after two things.

242. I thought they were after one thing.

243. But they want to do it more than once.

244. That noise is driving me crazy!

245. Daddy's up?

246. Um, uh... Hide, hide. Get down.

247. I can't stand all that chirping.

248. Geoffrey.

249. Geoffrey.

250. You rang?

251. Where'd you last put the insecticide?

252. In your soup.

253. Boy, you're a grumpy Gus.

254. I was having a most wonderful dream—

255. Amazon women had bound me with sinuous vines

256. and were taunting me with tangelos.

257. What the hell's a tangelo?

258. "Tangelo—the fruit of a hybrid citrus tree

259. that is a cross between varieties of grapefruit and tangerine."

260. Thank you.

261. No. Thank you.

262. I never knew how much fun I'd have reading the dictionary.

263. It's filled with all kinds of words—

264. big words, little words, abbreviations, common phrases.

265. Can I look up a word for you?

266. Go away.

267. That's two words.

268. This ought to take care of that sucker.

269. Sir, that's air freshener.

270. It's all we have. It might work.

271. Yes. Perhaps the scent of sea breeze

272. will recall some painful memory for him,

273. and he'll commit suicide.

274. Quick. Get in here.

275. You're lucky Uncle Phil didn't catch you.

276. Well, there's still time.

277. What's that supposed to mean?

278. Remember last year when I skipped school

279. so I could preregister for jury duty,

280. and a little somebody snitched on me?

281. Well, missy, the tables have finally turned.

282. Oh, Carlton,

283. you're evil, man.

284. Please, Carlton, don't tell.

285. I'll clean your room,

286. Polish your Star Trek figurines.

287. Now it's coming from the kitchen.

288. Get down.

289. That cricket sounds like it's coming

290. from two places at once.

291. Must be the ventriloquist of the animal kingdom.

292. I think it's coming from this side of the counter.

293. No. You know, Uncle Phil,

294. I think he's over here,

295. the sneaky little bugger.

296. I was right the first time. It's in the family room.

297. I'll hunt down that cricket.

298. His head will make a fine trophy, sir.

299. Carlton, you stink.

300. You just go outside.

301. I'll get your pajamas.

302. You can pretend you came down for a snack.

303. That bug isn't going to get the best of me.

304. I know how captain ahab felt

305. when he was chasing Moby dick.

306. I'm confused. Between the two of you,

307. the cricket is the whale?

308. Geoffrey, how'd you like to be unemployed?

309. What do you mean?

310. "Unemployed— out of work. Jobless.

311. "Not being used. Idle.

312. A person who doesn't have a job."

313. The answers are right at your fingertips.

314. Here. Put those on.

315. O.K.

316. Whew.

317. Man, I don't believe this.

318. Oh, my God. It's 1:30.

319. That's true.

320. It's a shame you always have to learn the hard way.

321. As for me,

322. I'm just finishing my paper.

323. I can't stand it anymore.

324. This chirping is boring a hole

325. straight into my skull.

326. There she blows, captain.

327. By the table. By the table.

328. Ha ha ha ha!

329. Aah!

330. I got him.

331. I killed that little sucker.

332. Stop charging about like a rogue elephant.

333. You're lucky you didn't wake Nicky up.

334. My paper—

335. 30 pages of genius gone.

336. Ah, well,

337. I guess sometimes that hardworking ant

338. just gets squished into a little black spot.

339. That's funny.

340. You did all this hard work,

341. I didn't do anything,

342. and we're both in the same boat.

343. Except that my paper was optional.

344. Optional?

345. I was only doing it to get in good with the Professor.

346. I'll just have to bring him some cupcakes.

347. Hello.

348. This is Philip banks.

349. Well, no, I haven't seen Randy,

350. and Ashley's been home since 10:30.

351. Well, I'll call you back if she knows anything.

352. Well, that was Randy's father.

353. Apparently Randy decided to go somewhere else

354. after dropping Ashley off.

355. Thank God I have a responsible child.

356. Uh... Hey, hey. Hey, hey, hey.

357. Hey. Hey, man,

358. where you going?

359. I'm going to go ask Ashley

360. if she knows Randy's whereabouts.

361. Oh, man, you're not going to just—

362. just go up there and wake her up, are you?

363. She could already have morning breath.

364. Will, please.

365. Randy's father has a serious problem.

366. If Ashley did something like that,

367. I'd throttle her.

368. Now—now throttling isn't anything like killing, is it?

369. Not exactly.

370. The second definition of throttle

371. is "to strangle, choke."

372. Killing is the result of throttling.

373. Either way, I think we're about to see a demonstration.

374. Ashley's not in her room.

375. I'm right here, daddy.

376. I was in the kitchen.

377. We were just in the kitchen.

378. I mean the kitchen in the pool house.

379. The pool house is being fumigated.

380. Oh. Where am I?

381. What am I doing down here?

382. Oh, I must have been sleepwalking.

383. I'd better go back to my room.

384. Ashley...

385. You've already lied once tonight.

386. Let's not make it a habit.

387. My other friends had no curfew.

388. If I came home at 10:30,

389. everyone would think I was a baby.

390. I'm growing up.

391. Sweetheart, I'm your father.

392. It's my job to protect you

393. and at which I can't afford to fail.

394. I'm sorry.

395. I won't do it again.

396. Of course you won't, sweetheart,

397. because you're grounded for 10 years

398. or whenever you move out of the house.

399. But that's not fair.

400. Tell it to the judge.

401. Oh, that's me.

402. I killed the cricket.

403. Oh.

404. What a horrible death.

405. Daddy, you can't do that to me.

406. Watch me.

407. No!

408. Ding-dong the cricket's dead.

409. Ashley's grounded. You all go to bed.

410. The house is all yours.

411. "Welcome to the exciting world of chemistry."

412. Come on, 10 years?

413. The menendez brothers will be free before I am.

414. The menendez brothers got home on time.

415. Will, wake up.

416. Welcome to the exciting world of chemistry.

417. Will, it's 8:00.

418. You don't have much time to get to school.

419. Oh, man.

420. I never even got past the first page.

421. What will you do?

422. I'm going to fail.

423. Hate to say I told you so.

424. So, how did the test go?

425. I got an 85.

426. What? You didn't even study.

427. How could you have learned everything

428. you had to know about chemistry?

429. The only chemistry I needed

430. was between me and the honey in the next seat.

431. Know what I'm saying?

432. You have a good winter.

433. Wait a second, will.

434. You're not really going to let people think you cheated?

435. Yeah, I know.

436. You're right. You're right.

437. Ready?

438. Yeah.

439. So, how did the test go?

440. I failed.

441. See, you can't put studying off to the last minute.

442. I know. You're right.

443. Know what? I'm going to the library,

444. and I'm not leaving

445. till I learn everything there is to know about chemistry.

446. That's the spirit.

447. I'm Hillary banks, TV weather girl.

448. I like to relax with a nice, hot cup of cof—

449. I'm sorry. Hot what?

450. First I said— ah, shoot.

451. Then what'd you say?

452. I forgot.

453. The next thing I said,

454. when I don't have— shoot. Shoot.

455. The next thing I said—

456. how many takes did you do?

457. 41. You'd think I'd be tired,

458. but I'm more awake now than when we started.

459. I'm going to pass out.