1. Philip, did you
get too close?
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2. I don't know, Vivian.
Is 4 feet too close?
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3. Nicky, honey,
daddy won't hurt you.
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4. What is it about me
that baby doesn't like?
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5. Is it my beard?
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6. As it if it's I'll
shave it off right now.
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7. Don't you dare.
I love the way it feels.
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8. I'm surprised
you remember.
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9. Sweetheart,
it hasn't been that long
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10. since we've made love,
has it?
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11. Five months this Tuesday.
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12. Thin walls.
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13. I'm sorry, honey.
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14. Honey, I'll make it
better, I promise.
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15. I hope so.
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16. There are priests
laughing at me.
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17. Could I have breakfast
in the family room,
Geoffrey?
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18. I'll get
the wheelbarrow, sir.
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19. Morning, master William.
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20. Hey.
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21. Aunt viv,
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22. Uncle Phil out there
grumbling something
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23. about getting
his tubes tied.
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24. He's bluffing.
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25. te-Dale, git up.
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26. Oh, man. Aunt viv,
this kid is sprouting.
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27. Hey, you know,
another month,
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28. he'll be bigger
than Carlton.
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29. I cannot believe
you and Carlton
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30. are moving into
your own place.
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31. Seems like
just yesterday
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32. when I was
wiping the tears
from his eyes.
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33. That was yesterday.
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34. I told you
he wasn't ready for
Jurassic park yet.
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35. Well, you and Carlton
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36. will look out for
each other, won't you?
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37. Absolutely, aunt viv.
We got each other back.
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38. Great.
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39. You two just be careful.
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40. There are a lot of sick,
demented perverts
out there.
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41. Greetings, all.
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42. Pssshhh!
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43. Hello, jazz.
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44. I brought a gift
for baby Dickie.
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45. Nicky.
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46. Nicky.
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47. Whatever.
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48. I know
it's five months late,
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49. but I wanted to find
just the right thing.
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50. This is very sweet of
you, jazz. Thank you.
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51. You know, Ms. banks,
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52. since you had that baby,
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53. there's something
different about you.
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54. Look here, will.
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55. Thank you, jazz,
very much.
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56. It's a baby pillow.
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57. Isn't it beautiful?
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58. Oh, yeah.
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59. Jazz, this thing says
"Wendy Beth" on it.
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60. So? When you buy
a wallet,
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61. doesn't it have
someone else's picture
in it first?
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62. Jazz, you stole
this pillow.
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63. It's the thought
that counts.
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64. Aah!
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65. hi, daddy.
Bye, daddy.
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66. Whoa, whoa, whoa,
precious.
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67. Where are you going?
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68. To the mall.
See ya.
Hold it!
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69. Sweetheart, come here.
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70. Today's Saturday, baby.
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71. Why don't you and I, uh,
do something together?
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72. Like what?
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73. Like...
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74. We could go to the mall.
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75. Daddy,
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76. all my friends
are at the mall.
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77. Do you know what
would happen
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78. if I showed up
with my father?
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79. What?
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80. You'd be banned for life
from the gap?
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81. No, mom.
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82. School don't start
for another week.
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83. The apartment is great.
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84. Yes, it's in a safe
neighborhood, mom.
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85. Oh, check it out.
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86. The candy store
actually sells candy.
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87. Y-yeah, mom.
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88. I know how proud
you are of me
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89. that I'm going
to college.
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90. Don't do this, mom.
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91. You know how this
affects me.
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92. Yeah, it's like
a dream come true
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93. for both of us.
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94. I love you, too, mommy.
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95. Bye-bye.
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96. Kender petroleum
up 31/8.
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97. You called it, son.
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98. Vectorcom down,
third day in a row.
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99. The merger killed them.
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100. Good thing we got out
when we did.
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101. I'm going to
miss you, son.
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102. Did you say something,
dad?
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103. I don't want you
to move out.
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104. Sorry, dad.
I have to go.
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105. No, you don't.
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106. Will says it's time for me
to leave the nest,
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107. become independent,
and have sex with girls.
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108. Safe sex, mind you,
but lots of it!
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109. Excuse me!
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110. Is this what you've been
telling my boy?
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111. Life is one big orgy?
College is hard work, son!
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112. And a family's
more hard work!
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113. And a teenage daughter
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114. who doesn't want to be
seen with you!
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115. And a wife who won't
let you near her!
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116. And a Butler who may be
your child's father!
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117. Dad! Dad!
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118. Will, I can't bear
to see him like this.
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119. That's why we moving—
so we don't have to.
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120. Will, look at him.
He needs me.
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121. No, I don't.
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122. I don't need
either one of you.
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123. There's a silver lining
on my dark cloud—
hilary.
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124. I'm sorry. Hilary banks?
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125. Fate works
in mysterious ways.
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126. For years, I've tried to get
her to move out of the house,
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127. and now when I'm gonna be
alone she is my salvation,
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128. so you two?
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129. You two go on with
your little lives.
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130. My hilary needs me.
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131. O.K., everybody,
guess what.
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132. O.K. I can see
you're stumped.
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133. I'm getting married.
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134. To Trevor!
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135. Ooh, hilary,
what is this?
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136. Hilary's marrying
Trevor.
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137. Oh, come on.
Don't tease me!
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138. Mother, it's true!
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139. When did he propose?
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140. This morning
as he was leaving
the pool house.
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141. I mean, this morning
on the phone.
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142. You certainly ain't
wasting no time
getting a gown.
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143. Mom and dad bought this
when I hit puberty.
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144. One down, three to go!
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145. Philip, you alright?
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146. You look like
you're in shock.
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147. Shock? Oh, no.
It figures.
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148. Oh! Here's the best part.
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149. I asked Trevor
to officially propose to me
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150. during his "slice of L.A."
segment on tomorrow's news.
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151. That way, all of Los Angeles
can share in our happiness.
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152. Oh!
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153. Hilary, sweetheart,
I think there may be
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154. a question you should
ask yourself.
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155. I already did.
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156. I'm going to register
at Tiffany's.
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157. No, no, sweetheart.
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158. Are you in love
with Trevor?
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159. What's love got
to do with it?
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160. I'm having a wedding!
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161. Hey, back off, ike,
we're having a wedding.
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162. Let's go do
the invitations.
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163. Oh, mommy!
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164. Way to go, sis.
The guy's a prince.
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165. I can't believe she's
going to marry that jerk!
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166. Trevor's not a jerk.
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167. He's a superficial,
self-centered,
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168. teleprompter-reading
airhead.
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169. Sounds like
a match to me.
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170. My little girl
is leaving me.
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171. Are you gonna be alright
big guy, I could stay here
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172. and help you through
this rocky time.
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173. I'll be fine.
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174. We out, then.
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175. Bye, dad.
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176. Take care.
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177. Hey. Thanks a lot.
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178. So, if you take
package "d,"
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179. you get basic cable,
three premiums,
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180. and...
The lust channel.
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181. Carlton, how do you feel
about the lust channel?
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182. I think it's 24 hours of
shallow, pointless nudity.
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183. You heard the bird.
We'll take it.
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184. You'll be hooked up
tomorrow.
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185. Thank you,
Mr. Smith.
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186. Ahh, you heard that,
right—Mr. Smith!
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187. This boy gettin'
some respect around here.
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188. Will, I've met
the woman of my dreams.
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189. Word. I didn't know
rupaul lived in L.A.
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190. See, one of my duties
as mascot
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191. is to greet people
on campus.
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192. So I'm doing my thing,
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193. and this wise guy starts
messing with my plumage.
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194. Then... She came
to my rescue—
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195. 5 feet 11 inches
of feminine firepower.
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196. Huh. I bet she could
toss me around this room.
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197. Hope it works out
for you, buddy.
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198. Oh, will,
she's crazy about me!
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199. What makes you
think that?
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200. She said she's
looking forward to
seeing me again.
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201. So?
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202. No one's ever said that
except my dentist.
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203. You were right, will.
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204. We're on our own
three hours,
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205. and my life's already
gotten better.
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206. Well, let freedom ring.
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207. Whoa!
Oh, that's the door.
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208. Hey, Mr. gorodetsky.
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209. I thought I said
no pets.
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210. I'm not really
a peacock.
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211. And I'm not really
a slumlord.
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212. Uh, look, if you
need to reach me,
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213. I'll be
at my home number.
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214. You don't live here?
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215. Are you kidding?
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216. Oh, yeah!
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217. I hope that's not a long
distance call you're making.
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218. Carlton, can I see
that first dollar
you ever had again?
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219. Oh, sure.
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220. No. Put it away,
you cheapskate!
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221. I'm just inviting
a few people over
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222. to christen
the new crib.
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223. Anyone you'd
like to invite?
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224. I don't keep friends.
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225. In time of war,
they can be tortured
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226. and give up valuable
secrets about you.
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227. I was talking about
your miss lady peacock?
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228. Are you nuts?
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229. I'm not bringing her
within 100 yards of you.
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230. Why, Carlton,
I'm your cousin.
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231. Cousin who stole
every woman I ever had.
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232. I stole one girl.
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233. My point exactly.
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234. I'll promise
I ain't going to
press up on her.
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235. As far as I'm concerned,
she's just a man with breasts.
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236. She does
have breasts,
doesn't she?
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237. Well, alright.
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238. She runs the campus store.
I'll go ask her.
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239. Uh, Carlton?
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240. What?
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241. Change your clothes.
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242. Geoffrey, Geoffrey,
look.
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243. It's Carlton's
first haircut.
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244. Oh! Hilary's first day
at kindergarten.
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245. Look, Geoffrey!
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246. Geoffrey, here's Ashley
on a diving board.
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247. Ohh... The way we were.
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248. You've got to look
to the future, sir.
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249. Put the past behind you.
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250. Oh, I guess.
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251. You're right.
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252. What's for dinner?
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253. Leftovers.
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254. Hold it, hold it.
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255. Who do we have here?
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256. We met at the mall.
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257. What's your name, son?
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258. This.
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259. This is a stick
with a snake
wrapped around it.
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260. It's a symbol,
like prince?
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261. Prince who?
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262. See? That's exactly why
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263. fathers ain't allowed
at the mall.
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264. Uh, what's this thing?
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265. It's a symbol...
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266. For get out of my house!
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267. Daddy, I love him!
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268. Keep it up, sir...
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269. And I'll be all
you have left.
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270. Bam! You owe me.
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271. That's boardwalk
with a hotel.
That's 2 grand.
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272. Thank you.
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273. Community chest.
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274. Ah, yes, and what a lovely
community it is.
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275. Coming through,
coming through.
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276. Hey, Carlton,
where you been man?
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277. I was watching
the sun set
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278. over the bank of America
building.
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279. Well, I think
you know everybody,
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280. oh, except latanya.
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281. Hello.
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282. I'd like to set
the record straight
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283. before any other woman
comes on to me.
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284. I'm in a monogamous
relationship.
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285. Really? How long?
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286. It's going
on five hours.
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287. I'd appreciate it
if you scavengers
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288. refrained
from eating this.
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289. I'm saving it
for my jacqueline.
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290. Jacqueline is
his imaginary friend.
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291. Hey-y-y.
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292. Whoa! Whoa!
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293. My brother,
can I help you?
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294. This where the party at?
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295. What party, man?
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296. The party we paid
$25 apiece to go to.
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297. Say, where's en vogue?
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298. My brother, I think
you got the wrong crib.
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299. This is apartment
206, right?
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300. Yeah, but it ain't—
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301. read it and weep, man.
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302. "It's the rump-bakin',
Booty-shakin'...
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303. Don't miss the mixin'.
Apartment 206"?
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304. This is jazz's
handwriting.
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305. How do you know?
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306. All the letters is cut
out of magazines.
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307. Hey, what's up
with you, man?
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308. Hey, listen this
is a private party.
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309. Y'all have to step.
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310. Not without my $25.
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311. Get out,
or I'll call security.
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312. Not old dude
with the flashlight!
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313. He carries
a whistle, too.
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314. Alright, man,
we don't want that
kind of trouble.
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315. Guess we'll just go home
and watch some TV.
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316. Sounds like a good idea,
my brother.
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317. Hey!
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318. Hey.
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319. Why not take the pictures
while you're at it?
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320. Good idea.
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321. Goes nice with
my new TV.
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322. Carlton,
if anybody else comes,
you take care of it.
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323. I'm getting
our stuff back.
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324. Hey, come back here
with our stuff!
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325. This should
cover your $25.
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326. Oh, the blender's
still on warranty.
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327. Looks like
your jacqueline
stood you up.
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328. It also looked like
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329. loni and Burt
had a good marriage.
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330. Come on. Dance with me,
you freak.
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331. Maybe if you
asked me nicely.
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332. This party's played out.
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333. Oh, tell will
the crib is dope.
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334. Like that's all
I got on my mind.
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335. Oh, come on, jacqueline.
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336. My bedtime's coming soon.
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337. ♪ lonely
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338. Birdman?
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339. Jacqueline.
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340. Wait. I thought there
were going to be
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341. other people here.
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342. There were. They left.
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343. Some with lovely
parting gifts.
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344. Maybe I better
leave, too.
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345. No. Don't.
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346. Um, I went and
got us some dinner
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347. from Chez Paul's.
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348. Filet mignon?
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349. Thanks, but I don't
eat red meat.
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350. I'll give it up, too.
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351. No need, birdman.
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352. Uh, jacqueline.
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353. H-how about a dance
before you go?
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354. Uh, to... Christen
the new crib.
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355. It'd be my first dance with
a brother from bel-air.
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356. Better take
the opportunity.
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357. There aren't
too many of us.
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358. Alright.
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359. wh-what is this,
anyway?
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360. Bobby vinton,
the Polish prince.
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361. Oh, I have some manilow
if you prefer.
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362. No, no, no.
The Polish prince
will do just fine.
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363. it's my jacqueline.
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364. It's my TV!
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365. Jackie?
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366. Oh, my God.
Will!
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367. Aah!
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368. No! No! No!
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369. No! No! No!
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370. No!
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371. Go, peacock! Go, peacock!
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372. Go, peacock! Go, peacock!
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373. Go, peacock!
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374. Go, peacock!
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375. Go!
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