The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air 3x9

Directed by Shelley Jensen

Oprah Winfrey as Herself • Brian Stokes Mitchell as Trevor • Victoria Morsell as Lydia Marshall • Lou Felder as Howard Marshall • Deborah Swisher as Alexis

The Bankses appear on Oprah's show and fail to invite Will on-stage, which may cause Philip to lose the election.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Will, I can't believe I took your advice

2. about my TV campaign spot.

3. You would've buried judge robertson

4. with the uh-huh girls in there.

5. here it comes.

6. Sit down. Sit down. Sit down.

7. Oh, and, um, by the way, Uncle Phil,

8. I don't remember if I told you or not,

9. but when I dropped the tape off at the editor,

10. I authorized a few last-minute changes.

11. You authorized— nobody gave you permission

12. to authorize any changes.

13. No, but you're going to love it.

14. Hi. I'm Philip banks,

15. and I'm running for

16. superior court ju-ju-judge.

17. Ju-ju-judge.

18. Whoo!

19. What the hell is that?

20. Our new year's Eve party.

21. I put in a couple of home movies

22. to show your human side.

23. It gets better!

24. If you put me on the bench,

25. I'll take a bite out of crime.

26. Bite, bite, bite. Bite, bite, bite.

27. Vote for Philip banks.

28. Philip banks. Philip banks.

29. Philip banks.

30. Ahh!

31. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!

32. Emmy!

33. Hey, so what you think, Uncle Phil?

34. Aah!

35. dad, will would like to know

36. if he can please come in.

37. Come on, daddy. At least let him sleep in the house.

38. Come on, Philip. He was only trying to help.

39. Come on, baby. Come on in.

40. I know we didn't see eye-to-eye

41. on the commercial,

42. but I got a lot positive feedback.

43. Oh, please! From who?

44. From lateesha.

45. She said you looked really handsome.

46. She also thought delta Burke looked better as a blonde.

47. Hi, everybody.

48. Hey, guy.

49. Hey!

50. Oh, baby, you are positively glowing today.

51. Thank you.

52. New moisturizer.

53. We can't all be as blessed as you are... Mom.

54. Oh, Trevor, that's so sweet.

55. But, honey, call me Mrs. banks.

56. Home of the whopper. What's your beef?

57. Y-yeah, right. O.K.

58. Will, who is it?

59. Some chickenhead

60. saying she's from the Oprah winfrey show.

61. Oh, oh, oh. That would be for me, homey.

62. Alexis. Ah, yes.

63. Did you speak to Oprah yet?

64. You mean this call is legit?

65. Will, Trevor knows lots of important people.

66. So what about Oprah? Is it a deal?

67. Ah, super! I owe you big time, babe.

68. This is Trevor Collins. Goodbye... And godspeed.

69. Aah! Aah!

70. What's all this excitement?

71. I don't know!

72. We're going to be on Oprah!

73. We're all going to be on Oprah!

74. And it's all thanks to Trevor.

75. Well.

76. Wait a minute. Trevor, why should Oprah care about us?

77. Well, actually, she doesn't. You're nobody.

78. But Alexis, the woman who books the show,

79. is an old friend of Trevor's.

80. I got the feeling she had a crush on you.

81. Actually, she had the cutest little nickname for me.

82. What was it?

83. God.

84. Anyway...

85. Alexis said I couldn't have called at a better time.

86. They're doing a show about political candidates and their families.

87. One of the families just dropped out.

88. They're flying all of us to Chicago tomorrow morning.

89. I'm so excited! I have always wanted to go to Chicago!

90. Wait. Am I going to need a passport?

91. Alright. I got things to do.

92. Got to get a new fade,

93. new shoe strings for my doc Martins.

94. I'm gonna be on Oprah!

95. Phil, I hate to bust the boy's balloon,

96. but Alexis said she could only book

97. the immediate family.

98. You mean, will can't go?

99. That's darned unfair.

100. And I think I speak for everyone here

101. when I say, what am I going to wear?

102. Philip.

103. Honey, how can we disappoint will?

104. He's part of this family.

105. No. He's part of your family.

106. I'm sorry, but he's damaged my campaign enough.

107. The sooner we tell him, the easier it will be.

108. Hey, mom, guess what? I'm going to be on Oprah!

109. And as soon as you tell him, let me know.

110. Morning. Philip.

111. Honey, we're leaving in a hour.

112. Sweetheart, relax. We have time.

113. How did will take it when you broke the news?

114. I'm sorry. I couldn't tell him.

115. Oh, fine! I'll tell him.

116. How difficult could it possibly be?

117. So...

118. What do you think?

119. Have we met?

120. Come on, Uncle Phil.

121. I wanted to fit in with y'all

122. when we go on Oprah.

123. Hey, look, Uncle Phil,

124. I got to tell you, man,

125. taking me to Chicago with you...

126. That really means a lot to me.

127. Well, you know—

128. and it ain't just 'cause I promised lateesha

129. I'd scream her name on TV.

130. It's because you make me feel like part of your family.

131. Well...

132. Thanks a lot, Uncle Phil.

133. I guess I'll just go out in the car

134. and wait quietly in the back seat.

135. Well, that's telling him, Philip.

136. He can go to Chicago and watch the show,

137. but we have to tell him on the plane.

138. Excuse me, sir. Are you will Smith?

139. Yes, stewardess.

140. Your family asked me to speak to you.

141. Wow. I'm sorry for staring,

142. but... Man, girl, you real fine!

143. I was a little nervous about flying,

144. but as long as I can look at you, I'll be alright.

145. I'm sorry. What was you going to say?

146. Can I fluff your pillow?

147. Wow! Look at this!

148. Vivian, this is absurd.

149. We're on the air in 10 minutes.

150. We've got to tell will now.

151. Hoo hoo hoo hoo!

152. Oprah winfrey's studio.

153. Come on, y'all, let's get a picture.

154. Uncle Phil, I'll get you in one later.

155. Uh... Oprah's chair!

156. I'm going to send this to my mom.

157. Yeah, w—

158. honey, couldn't we just put him to sleep?

159. You must be the banks family. Hi! I'm Alexis.

160. Hello.

161. I'm glad you could make it.

162. Thank you for having us.

163. Oh, sure. Make yourselves at home,

164. and I'll be right back.

165. You have beautiful hair.

166. I know.

167. So that's Trevor's old girlfriend, huh?

168. Yeah. Wonder what he ever saw in her.

169. Everybody remember— dad's got an image to uphold,

170. so let's conduct ourselves with dignity.

171. Look, look! Mommy, daddy, look!

172. You...

173. You're Oprah winfrey!

174. I am. And you must be...

175. Ashley.

176. It's nice to meet you.

177. We're the bankses.

178. Hey, great. You made it. Welcome to Chicago.

179. Thank you. This is a real pleasure.

180. I'm Philip banks. This is hilary, Carlton, Ashley,

181. and, uh, uh, uh...

182. Vivian.

183. Yes!

184. Hi. I'm a very big fan.

185. Ooh. You sure are!

186. It's my pleasure. My pleasure.

187. Oprah, I always love your clothes.

188. And that's such a gorgeous suit!

189. If you really like it,

190. I will send you one in your size.

191. Wow! I always heard that you were generous, but...

192. Oh, my God, I can't believe this!

193. Me, neither. Gee, Oprah, I really like that diamond bracelet.

194. Nice try.

195. I'll tell you what.

196. I'll see you guys on the show.

197. Have a good show.

198. O.K. That's it. That's it.

199. That's the theme music.

200. Come on, it's time to go. Posse out.

201. Sha-mon!

202. Come on, guys, it's time to go.

203. Alright. Time to stop beating around the bush.

204. Everybody who's going to be on Oprah step forward.

205. Not so fast, will.

206. All families have their problems,

207. but how'd you like to have your family's dirty laundry

208. seen in tomorrow's newspaper?

209. Well, that's an everyday experience

210. for most political families.

211. Please help me welcome my guest today,

212. senator Howard Lloyd,

213. his wife Pamela, and their daughter Lydia.

214. And superior court hopeful Philip banks,

215. his wife Vivian,

216. and their children hilary, Carlton, and Ashley.

217. So, senator Lloyd, my first question is to you.

218. You've been in the senate for quite some time...

219. Tell me I can't be on Oprah.

220. Brother, you mind sliding down? My legs are long.

221. Ah-choo!

222. Oh, excuse me.

223. Philip banks, you are a successful attorney

224. with your own private practice in Beverly hills.

225. And now you're running for superior court judge.

226. That's quite a career change.

227. What do you hope to get out of it?

228. I hope to make some changes in the judicial system,

229. and, well, I've always wanted my own gavel.

230. Ooh, Oprah. I have a question.

231. We're not ready for that yet.

232. Mrs. banks, answer me this if you will—

233. I'm will. I can answer it.

234. Come here.

235. Huh? Me?

236. Come here. Come on.

237. O.K. See, this is it.

238. I'm the one with the microphone,

239. and you can't answer a question until I ask it.

240. You understand how it works?

241. You ask, and I answer.

242. Good. Now sit down.

243. Sit down.

244. Oh, my God! Vivian, is that will?

245. No, Philip, it's Richard Nixon wearing a will mask.

246. No, mom, I think that really is will.

247. So, Lydia, you spent most of your life

248. on capitol hill. Did that have—

249. oh, Oprah, Oprah.

250. Young brother...

251. What do you want?

252. I was wondering. Is it the question portion yet?

253. Do you have a question?

254. Y-yes. O.K. What is your question?

255. I have a question for senator Lloyd.

256. Senator, let's say that you had

257. a young, urban, handsome nephew.

258. Would you let him come on Oprah with you?

259. I sure would, son.

260. And let me say I love your Leslie uggams.

261. Thanks. My next question is for Mr. banks.

262. Two questions.

263. Mr. banks, would you let your nephew

264. come on the Oprah winfrey show,

265. or would you make him fly to Chicago for nothing

266. to sit in the audience

267. to be embarrassed in front of his girl?

268. Hi, lateesha. Huh?

269. And, um... After I got out of Betty Ford,

270. I started a new life

271. with the maharishi anaganda.

272. You are so brave.

273. I mean, wearing red shoes with a pink dress.

274. I have a question for Mr. banks.

275. Has being in politics ruined your sex life?

276. No, mine's great. How's yours, honey?

277. Oh, Oprah, I have a question.

278. Will, I missed you. O.K.

279. Um... My question is for Mrs. banks.

280. Uh, Mrs. banks, let's say that your oldest sister,

281. who sacrificed her whole life to raise you,

282. sent her only son to live with you,

283. and you promised to treat him like your own.

284. Just for the sake of argument, let's call him... Will.

285. Would you bring him on Oprah,

286. or make him sit in the audience

287. like you were ashamed of him?

288. W-we're not ashamed of you.

289. It's just—

290. sit down, shut up, and behave yourself.

291. O.K., let me take a wild...

292. Stab in the dark, here.

293. You all are related.

294. Yes, Oprah. Oh...

295. See, it's all coming out. It's all coming out.

296. Anybody got a tissue? Anybody—

297. thank you.

298. Yes. Here, you poor sweetheart. Blow.

299. Ahh.

300. You poor baby.

301. I think this is terrible.

302. You should go up and be with your family

303. where you belong.

304. Don't you think so, audience?

305. Go up there. Be with your family where you belong.

306. Move, Ashley.

307. What?

308. Move!

309. Thank you, Oprah.

310. You know, Oprah,

311. there's a perfectly logical explanation for...

312. Hiss. Boo. Boo.

313. Yes, yes.

314. Oprah, this guy can't even run his own home.

315. Why should he be elected to office?

316. Excuse me, miss,

317. but my husband would make an excellent judge.

318. He is a wonderful husband and devoted father.

319. Well, Vivian, I must say that yes, you're right.

320. This looks like a lovely family.

321. But I've been doing shows a long time,

322. and I've learned that things are not always as they seem.

323. Oprah, believe me, my dad is a great guy.

324. When I lost my job and he kicked me out of the house,

325. he let me live out back.

326. He kicked you out of the house?

327. He didn't actually kick her out.

328. He just changed the locks

329. and told her she didn't live there anymore.

330. Mr. banks... Is that true?

331. I—I didn't change all the locks.

332. And she's not living out back.

333. She's living in the pool house.

334. With the big pay cut you'll have to take,

335. we'll all be living there.

336. Forget it. There's hardly enough room

337. for Trevor and I.

338. What is Trevor doing in the pool house?

339. Yes, hilary. What is Trevor doing in the pool house?

340. This is good. I feel like we...

341. I think we're getting somewhere.

342. Listen to me.

343. You are not to have men there!

344. I don't like to tell tales,

345. but Trevor keeps a make-up case there.

346. That's a lie!

347. Is not!

348. Stand on a chair and say it to my face!

349. You have both lost your American express cards.

350. Do you want to work on your visa?

351. These candidates want to be elected to public office,

352. but it seems like they can't even keep the peace

353. in their own families.

354. Mr. banks, what do you have to say

355. on your family's behalf?

356. W-w-well, Oprah—

357. ha. What's the point?

358. Oprah, I have something to say.

359. What a surprise.

360. My Uncle brought me to live with him

361. so I could get a head start in life.

362. We have some problems, but what family doesn't?

363. All I know is when I need these people, they're there for me.

364. That's nice of you to say, will.

365. Well, if you ask me,

366. your whole damn family is crazy.

367. Brother, if we was in Philly,

368. it might have to be something,

369. but we on TV, and I believe Martin's philosophy—

370. non-violence. So I'm going to chill.

371. And if your mama sent you out to live with them,

372. then she's crazy, too.

373. Hey, man, don't nobody talk about my mother!

374. Aah! Aaaaaah!

375. We'll be right back. We'll be right back.

376. Hey, Ms. winfrey.

377. Will. I'll tell you what?

378. You know after all we've been through, you can call me Oprah.

379. You got it "op".

380. "Prah".. "Oprah".. "Oprah".

381. You know your initials, o.W..

382. Did anybody ever tell you it spells, "oww!"

383. Uh-huh. I knew that.

384. Look, Oprah, I'm..

385. I hope I didn't mess your show too much.

386. I'm really really sorry for the way I acted.

387. Listen, don't you apologize.

388. Because I'm thinking it was a great experience.

389. Really? Absolutely!

390. As a matter of fact, here.

391. What's this?

392. Two free tickets to the Donna hue show.

393. Tell Phil Oprah said, "hiee".

394. She likes me.

395. On the national political scene

396. come on, we've heard enough. Turn the t.V. Down.

397. Come on, will.

398. Oh! Oh, I'm sorry aunt viv.

399. Will, you're smiling like dad does when he finishes

400. the Happy Birthday bucket at baskin Robbins.

401. Man, you scream your girl's name out on t.V

402. you'd be smiling too.

403. Look dad, the poll results are up next.

404. Oh, goodie!

405. I bet being on Oprah helped you in the polls.

406. I'm not worried.

407. I was going about this all wrong,

408. trying to come across

409. as the perfect candidate with the perfect family.

410. Voters want a candidate that's human, flawed.

411. And in local politics,

412. Philip banks has plummeted another 8 points

413. in the polls.

414. Come on, honey. Don't worry. You're going to win.

415. Uncle Phil, you're going to win,

416. and you know why?

417. 'Cause you're a decent man.

418. You brought a kid out from west Philly

419. and made him feel at home in your house.

420. Judge robertson can't compete with that.

421. And in a related story,

422. judge Carl robertson announced today

423. that he is adopting 12 ghetto youths.

424. Ah, well.

425. You have both loth... Bl tha pla th.

426. You have both lost your American express—

427. you have bosth—

428. you have just made the blooper wheel.