1. Hey, morning, g.
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2. Good morning,
master William.
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3. So, ready for the big
camping expedition?
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4. Please, man.
I'm from Philly.
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5. To me, a wilderness
experience
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6. is dating a girl
who don't shave her legs.
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7. My Uncle Reggie
always insisted
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8. the woods were safer
than the cities
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9. until the day
he died.
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10. How did he die?
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11. He was eaten
by wolves.
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12. Carlton's log.
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13. Earth date—1992.
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14. It's 6:00 A.M.
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15. Up with the dawn,
the small band of brave souls
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16. prepare to pile
into their Mercedes.
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17. Destination...
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18. Adventure.
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19. Carlton, you look like
Webster on a safari.
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20. Hi guys, I'm doing
the morning weather today.
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21. Oh, goody.
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22. And after that, you're off to
join miss Ashley and Mrs. banks
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23. at the spa for their
beauty-makeover weekend?
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24. Beauty makeover?
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25. With this face?
I don't think so.
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26. Good morning, everyone.
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27. Ah, you know, men,
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28. I'm really looking
forward to this.
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29. Reminds me of camping
with my father—
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30. sleeping under the stars,
climbing mountains,
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31. braving winds that could
knock a grown man
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32. flat to the ground.
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33. I ain't trying
to be nowhere around a wind
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34. that could knock
Uncle Phil to the ground.
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35. Well, I hope you're
prepared for rain.
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36. I'm predicting
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37. a 90% chance
of precipitation,
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38. and you know
how often I'm right.
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39. Goodbye.
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40. Let's unpack
the rain gear.
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41. Yeah.
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42. Uncle Phil, I got
a bad feeling about this one.
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43. I think we should
just turn back.
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44. You said that before
we got in the car,
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45. when we pulled out of the
driveway and onto the freeway.
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46. And off the freeway.
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47. Then do it!
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48. Come on, Uncle Phil,
it's dark, it's raining,
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49. and we're lost.
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50. We are not lost.
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51. Will, ye of little faith. Dad
knows exactly what he's doing.
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52. Do you think anyone
would drive by
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53. the same tree seven times
on purpose?
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54. Carlton's log.
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55. We're somewhere
in the galaxy.
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56. My father
has no idea where.
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57. I think we should just
pull into a gas station.
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58. Will, for the last time,
I don't need directions.
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59. You're right.
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60. You need gas.
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61. Okay, I made a wrong turn.
It's not the end of the world.
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62. We'll thumb a ride
to the nearest gas station.
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63. We used to do it a lot
in the sixties.
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64. Whoa. Uncle Phil can you take
a stroll into the nineties?
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65. We are three black men
on the side of a Mountain road.
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66. The only people going to stop
will have more sheets
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67. and say stuff like,
"get 'em, Jim Bob!"
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68. Will may have a point, dad.
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69. Why don't we stay here
and let him go get the gas?
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70. We're all getting
out of the car.
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71. We can make camp here and go
for gas in the morning.
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72. Let's get out of the car.
Get out of the car.
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73. Oh, my God. Where's
our camping equipment?
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74. Will, you were supposed
to secure everything
to the luggage rack.
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75. I did.
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76. Ohh! Wait!
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77. This ain't the Volvo.
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78. The car phone.
We'll call for road service.
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79. Great idea, Carlton. You can
tell them exactly where we are—
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80. somewhere in the dark
between a rock and a tree.
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81. I'm sorry. You're outside
the calling area.
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82. Please try
your call again.
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83. Well, I guess sending
for pizza is out.
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84. Alright now. That's it.
That's enough.
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85. We'll get back in the car
and go for gas in the morning.
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86. Get in the car!
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87. You know, Uncle Phil,
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88. I haven't been
on too many camping trips,
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89. but snow's
a bad thing, right?
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90. Look, let's look
on the bright side, okay?
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91. This gives us a perfect
opportunity to show
what we're made of.
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92. Does bigfoot have to come down
here with a chain saw
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93. before you admit
we're in trouble?
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94. Okay, okay, we can't
stay here.
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95. We'll freeze to death. Get all
the stuff off the backseat
and we'll go ahead on foot.
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96. Get out of
the damn car!
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97. You know,
miss hilary,
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98. I've never seen
this side of you before—
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99. baggy clothes,
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100. no makeup,
tousled hair.
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101. You know, I feel really
comfortable like this, Geoffrey.
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102. I don't need to hide
behind cosmetics.
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103. I'm beautiful
just the way I am.
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104. Hilary, you home?
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105. Oh, my God.
It's Trevor.
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106. Quick, get my hot comb.
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107. Sorry. This is the scene
where Barbara finds out
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108. Robert's been cheating
with a button-nosed bimbo.
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109. For you, pretty mama.
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110. Oh, Trevor.
He's adorable.
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111. Goodbye.
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112. Uh, wait a second.
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113. I also brought you...
These.
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114. Oh, Trevor.
They're beautiful.
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115. They look like the flowers
down at the news room.
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116. Just be sure to have them back
before 10:00.
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117. My florist
is on vacation.
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118. Oh, my.
You look beautiful.
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119. Here. Why don't you
put this on ice?
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120. Champagne?
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121. Yeah.
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122. What are we
celebrating?
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123. An empty house.
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124. Yoo-hoo!
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125. I, uh, thought this
was your day off.
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126. Correct,
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127. but you overlooked
one fact.
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128. I have no life.
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129. Geoffrey, will you get it?
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130. On my day off?
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131. You'd really let me?
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132. Well, I thought we'd have
a quiet evening together
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133. and I'd make you dinner.
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134. Trevor,
that is so sweet.
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135. Alright now.
You get out of the kitchen.
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136. I want this to be
a surprise.
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137. Surprise!
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138. Jazz, what do you
think you're doing?
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139. Looking after you,
my pet.
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140. After all, you're a beautiful,
desirable woman,
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141. or you would be if you combed
your hair once in a while.
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142. And some lipstick wouldn't
kill you, either.
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143. Look, jazz, go home.
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144. Shh.
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145. Stand back.
Let a man handle this.
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146. No! Jazz!
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147. What are you
doing here?
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148. I'm cooking dinner.
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149. Good. I like
my steak medium rare.
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150. Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'd like to freshen up a bit.
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151. Hey! Get off me!
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152. Would you—
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153. see? A cave. I told you
everything would be alright.
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154. Yiee-aah!
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155. Oh.
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156. Sorry. I was trying to
scare the bears away.
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157. Carlton's log.
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158. I'm wet.
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159. I'm wet and I'm cold.
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160. I'm wet and I'm cold
and I'm in a cave.
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161. Shut up, Carlton!
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162. I'm shutting up.
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163. I'm shutting up,
and I'm wet.
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164. That's it!
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165. Hey, hey, hey!
Just relax.
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166. Look, come on.
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167. We'll, uh,
we'll build a fire.
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168. How are we supposed
to build a fire?
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169. It's snowing outside
and all the wood is soaking wet.
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170. Then we'll
freeze to death.
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171. I don't want to die!
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172. I wanna go to college and poke
fun at all on financial aid.
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173. I want to see
karate kid 17.
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174. Carlton...
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175. Don't panic.
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176. Will, you check
the cave for dry wood.
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177. Man, I ain't walking around
in this cave by myself.
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178. There's rats and bats and bears
and stuff all around the place.
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179. Me, neither, dad.
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180. The three of us should just
cuddle up close together
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181. for the night.
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182. I'm gonna go check the cave
for some wood.
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183. I found this bag
on the floor.
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184. Will, we can't
just burn a bag.
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185. Oh, we're helpless.
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186. It's over. We're dead.
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187. We're rich!
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188. What?
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189. Hey, back up! Back up!
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190. 960, 980... $25,000.
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191. Y'all mind
if I get buck naked
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192. and roll around in this
for a little while?
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193. Will, we're gonna have
to turn that money over
to the authorities.
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194. If nobody claims it,
you can keep it.
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195. But until then,
I should look after it.
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196. Whoa! No. Whoa. No.
I'm alright, Uncle Phil.
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197. I'll just find
a safe place to keep it,
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198. you know,
just for tonight.
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199. Goodnight, Abe.
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200. Goodnight, Alexander.
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201. Now, I can't
forget you, Ben.
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202. Aw, man. I'm sleeping
with the presidents.
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203. Must be what
Marilyn Monroe felt like.
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204. What's for dinner?
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205. Jazz, I told you
to go home.
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206. How fast were you going
when you hit this?
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207. Now see here... Homey.
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208. My lady and I
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209. are trying to have
an intimate moment.
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210. Oh, I get it.
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211. You're trying
to make me jealous.
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212. Well, it worked
like a charm.
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213. Beat it, buddy.
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214. How dare you talk
to me like that?
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215. Do you have any idea
who I am?
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216. A really bad cook?
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217. Trevor, could you excuse us
for a moment, please?
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218. I have never been so
insulted in my life.
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219. Blind people
recognize me.
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220. I could kill you.
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221. Okay, baby. Hurt me.
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222. Look, I am not going
to let you screw this up for me.
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223. Trevor is
a wonderful man.
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224. But I'm jazz...
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225. The lover of all lovers.
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226. I put the afro
in aphrodisiac.
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227. So lose the stiff,
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228. and I'll be waiting
in the pool house.
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229. Oh, and fix yourself up
a little.
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230. What happened
to your friend?
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231. Don't worry about him.
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232. What are you watching?
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233. Oh, one of those
silly sentimental films.
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234. Formula stuff.
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235. Can I watch with you?
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236. Sure.
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237. But I have to go home
in a few minutes.
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238. I don't wanna alarm either one
of you, but it's 20 degrees.
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239. It's only gonna get worse.
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240. Carlton's log.
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241. I hate dad!
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242. You know, this wood
is just too wet to ignite.
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243. We need something dry.
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244. I'm afraid it's going
to have to be something that's
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245. near and dear to all of us.
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246. Oh, come on, Uncle Phil,
at least knock him out first.
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247. I'm talking about
the money, will.
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248. Uh-uh!
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249. Will, do you want to die
with $25,000 by your side,
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250. or do you want to live
to see tomorrow?
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251. I'm thinking,
I'm thinking, alright?
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252. I'm afraid there's
no other choice.
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253. Alright. Alright.
Alright.
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254. Look, can I just have a few
minutes alone with the guys?
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255. Okay. Okay.
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256. Dad, when you throw
that money into the fire,
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257. if I lose my head
and leap in after it,
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258. you'll pull me out,
right?
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259. Son, there are more important
things in life than money.
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260. Yeah, but I can't
get a date, either.
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261. Alright,
here's the money.
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262. What?
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263. Whoa! Whoa! Was that
Andrew or Ben?
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264. It was Ben.
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265. Ohh...
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266. Oh, I'm sorry, Ben.
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267. You was one of the few white
people I could really count on.
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268. Carlton's log.
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269. Will has been reduced
to a pathetic shell
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270. of his former self.
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271. I, on the other hand,
have the strength of 10 men.
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272. Will's log...
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273. Is about to connect
with Carlton's head!
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274. Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
Hey! Hey. Hey. Will.
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275. Give me the log.
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276. That's not why I brought
you two up here.
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277. Oh, I really blew it.
All I wanted to do
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278. was spend time with you before
you went off to college.
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279. You know, there's a better way
of doing it, Uncle Phil.
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280. Perhaps a matinee
and a box of raisinettes.
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281. Raisinettes? I hate raisinettes.
Could we get some goobers?
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282. It's not the same.
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283. Some of the best memories of my
life are camping with my father.
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284. He taught me how
to hunt and fish,
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285. how to pitch a tent.
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286. I'm guessing he didn't teach
you how to use a compass.
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287. Now that he's gone...
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288. I really miss him.
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289. I really appreciate
what we had together.
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290. He was quite a man.
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291. I learned so much
from him.
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292. Yeah, that's decent,
Uncle Phil.
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293. At least you had somebody
to teach you stuff.
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294. I had to learn
everything on my own.
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295. I mean, my mom was working
all the time and everything.
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296. I always wanted to roller skate,
but I didn't know how to do it.
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297. So, I used to put on one skate
and push with the other foot.
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298. It never seemed like
I could be fast enough
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299. to keep up with
the other kids, though.
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300. You know, that's how I felt
when I came to bel-air,
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301. like everybody
had two skates
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302. and I was trying
to keep up with one.
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303. Um...
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304. Thanks for my other skate,
Uncle Phil.
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305. For a long time,
it gave me nightmares.
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306. Having to witness
an injustice like that...
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307. It was a constant reminder
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308. of how unfair
this world can be.
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309. I can still hear them
taunting him.
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310. "Silly rabbit.
Trix are for kids."
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311. How come they just couldn't
give him some cereal?
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312. Oh, you guys,
wake up, wake up!
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313. Oh, man.
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314. Oh. We made it.
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315. We made it.
Uncle Phil, wake up!
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316. Vivian, Vivian,
I'm not a machine!
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317. Come on, dad,
it's morning.
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318. You know,
it stopped snowing.
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319. Let's get out of here
and find a Denny's.
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320. Uncle Phil, if I ever agree
to go camping with you,
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321. I'll hold my head underwater
till I stop struggling.
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322. Whoa. Whoa.
What's happening?
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323. Right this way.
Right this way.
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324. Right over here.
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325. Hey, guys, listen. I'm ed barker
from station kcbe.
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326. Congratulations, guys.
You did it.
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327. W-we did?
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328. That's right.
What are your names?
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329. Well, I'm innocent will,
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330. and this is Uncle Phil,
attorney-at-law,
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331. and this is
little Carlton.
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332. He's trying to find his way
back to the circus.
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333. What did we do?
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334. Was it legal? We was giving
the money back, but—
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335. give it back?
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336. It's yours to keep.
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337. See, you just found the last
clue in the kcbe scavenger hunt.
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338. You found
the prize money!
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339. Well, now, tell me
something, guys.
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340. How does it feel
to be rich?
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341. It's terrible. Uncle backdraft
made us burn it.
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342. You burned $50,000?
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343. 50,000?
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344. You said
it was 25.
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345. Oh. I must have
miscounted.
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346. Ah, well.
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347. He taught me how to hunt,
how to fish...
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348. How to pinch a tent.
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349. You got to pinch it
right down there.
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350. Ooh! Ooh!
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351. Right by the pole
where they put it up.
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352. How to pinch a tent?
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353. Come here, you
cute little tent.
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