The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air 3x7

Directed by Shelley Jensen

DJ Jazzy Jeff as Jazz • Brian Stokes Mitchell as Trevor • Sherman Hemsley as Judge Carl Robertson • David H. Sterry as Hollenbeck • Jim Jansen as Dobson

Will gets arrested for numerous parking tickets as Phil runs for judge against incumbent Judge Robertson.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. What's up, prince?

2. Me and Carlton are just checking out these college brochures.

3. I've already set my sights on Princeton.

4. It has a balanced curriculum

5. with the largest repository of classical literature.

6. Yeah, well, I got my sights set on this school,

7. with the largest repository of girls

8. with the big ol' butts. Oh, yeah!

9. Which reminds me,

10. I brought your cd player back.

11. See, jazz...

12. Now, this is not my cd player, see?

13. 'Cause my cd player has the wires on the inside.

14. I'm sorry, man. How can I make it up to you?

15. Jazz, how about paying for it?

16. Why would I want to buy a broken cd player?

17. - hey, aunt viv. - Hi, guy.

18. Hey, judge.

19. Oh, no, will, please.

20. I haven't announced I'm running.

21. I don't think you'd have to announce it, Mr. banks.

22. If you ran, we'd hear you coming.

23. I'm running for superior court judge.

24. He still could use the exercise.

25. Will, Carlton.

26. I want you on your best behavior tomorrow

27. and look presentable.

28. It's Navy blue jacket, gray slacks, power tie.

29. Whoa, Uncle Phil.

30. You wouldn't want Carlton to wear aunt's apron?

31. No, that's ok.

32. Jazz, please get my blue jacket.

33. Don't worry, man.

34. I'll bring it to you tomorrow morning.

35. You won't even tell I wore it.

36. Jazz, what did you do to my jacket?

37. You told me to get it cleaned,

38. so I washed it.

39. I don't believe you, man.

40. First, my cd player, now this.

41. You make a doorknob look smart, man.

42. No need to get testy.

43. At least I got out all the a-1 sauce.

44. Whoa, hold up.

45. Underdog's on.

46. Excuse me, but I'm watching the eagles.

47. Well, excuse me.

48. But you once preferred the whimsy of a yogi and a booboo.

49. Will, I hardly know you.

50. Will, put on your jacket.

51. We're leaving for the press luncheon in 10 minutes.

52. Hey, have you been undressing my Teddy ruxpin again?

53. Vivian, you look so sexy.

54. Thank you, sweetheart.

55. Now go upstairs and change.

56. Don't you want to project the right image?

57. Hey, I'm happy that this fits over my belly.

58. Which reminds me, I'm hungry.

59. Daddy, I am a young adult and I have my rights.

60. If you force me to wear this, I'll...

61. I'll hold my breath until my face turns blue.

62. Ashley, you're 13 years old. You'll do what I say.

63. But that's not fair.

64. Call a cop.

65. Mommy!

66. Well, I'm ready.

67. I've been waiting all my life

68. to hear you say that.

69. I meant I'm ready for the press conference.

70. You know, sometimes I lose sight of why I want to be a judge,

71. then you open your mouth,

72. and it all comes flooding back.

73. Thank you.

74. See, will, I inspire him.

75. No, no, not now, jazz.

76. Oh, no, you're on the one-yard line.

77. Fumble? Herschel, pick it up!

78. It's painfully obvious my presence

79. is no longer required.

80. Here, Carlton.

81. Eventually you'll grow into it.

82. Ahem.

83. Excuse me, sir.

84. But how's your day been going so far?

85. Well, wonderful, Geoffrey, thank you.

86. Well, down the toilet it goes.

87. Judge robertson, what are you doing here, sir?

88. Philip, it's good to see you again, my boy.

89. How long has it been— 10, 15 years, hmm?

90. We just had dinner a few weeks ago, sir.

91. We did? Mm-hmm.

92. Did I leave here with my pants on?

93. Yes.

94. Oh, thank God. Ha ha ha!

95. Well, that means you must throw a lousy party.

96. But enough about you, Philip.

97. Look, Philip, you got to help me.

98. You're the only one I can trust.

99. I just heard that they found someone to run against me.

100. Judge, we discussed that at dinner.

101. I'm running against you.

102. What?

103. How dare you!

104. Get out of my house!

105. Out!

106. Lionel, show him the door!

107. Go, go, go! Ahh!

108. Touchdown!

109. uhh, uhh, uhh!

110. Will, will!

111. Put that thing away.

112. Oh, they just tied it up. I don't care.

113. Mr. banks.

114. Yes.

115. This way.

116. Hello, ladies and gentlemen.

117. And welcome to this afternoon's press conference.

118. It's my pleasure to introduce to you

119. Mr. Philip banks.

120. Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen of the press.

121. Thank you very much for coming.

122. I'd like to take this opportunity

123. to formally announce my candidacy

124. for the office of superior court judge.

125. Thank you.

126. I plan on restoring faith in the judicial system.

127. And I ask you,

128. do you really want 6 more years

129. of the same tired plea-bargaining?

130. Yes! Yes!

131. Ha ha ha.

132. What?

133. Judge robertson's been in office 6 straight terms.

134. How do you intend to break that streak?

135. By focusing on the issues and not personality.

136. Once the voters see where I stand, I'm sure I'll win.

137. Oh, you idiot!

138. You don't even deserve to sit on the bench!

139. What?

140. Oh, judge robertson.

141. I didn't know he had kids.

142. He doesn't, and that's not his wife.

143. And am I crazy, or does he look 10 years younger?

144. That's unbelievable.

145. Is that brisket I smell?

146. Lovely family.

147. Thank you.

148. Who are they? Rented.

149. Judge robertson, how does it feel

150. to be running against your own student?

151. Philip banks is a gentleman

152. and one of the smartest students I ever had.

153. A man who would bring honor to the bench.

154. Don't get me wrong.

155. I want the job.

156. But I can't think of another person

157. that I wouldn't mind losing to than this man here.

158. I love you, my son.

159. What a guy!

160. Mr. banks, what's your response?

161. Uh...

162. Ha ha ha! Uh...

163. Oh, excuse me.

164. Mr. banks, we're looking for your nephew,

165. a William Smith?

166. Oh, my God.

167. It's over! It's all over!

168. Are you will Smith?

169. Uh... No. Rahim shabazz, Muslim activist.

170. Salam aleichem.

171. Will, what's wrong?

172. You're under arrest...

173. Shabazz.

174. Sit down, Smith.

175. Oh. Oh, ok.

176. It's like that, right?

177. Alright. That's cool.

178. I'm gonna sit down. I'm gonna sit down, alright?

179. And you think that just 'cause you got that badge

180. and all your tough cop friends walking around

181. and your cute little walkie-talkie,

182. you can talk to folks any way you wanna do it.

183. Well, I tell you right now,

184. if you ain't have all that stuff,

185. we'd be squawking a different language up in here right now.

186. What are you trying to say?

187. Shh, pshhh.

188. I think I made myself real clear

189. when I said what I just said.

190. Yeah.

191. Yeah, I guess you did.

192. Mr. officer, your stuff fell off.

193. Hey...

194. And—and... Hip-hop cop.

195. Blue looks nice on you, too.

196. Match that big blue vein

197. throbbing in your neck right now.

198. I'm Philip banks, the boy's attorney.

199. I'd like to speak to my nephew alone, please.

200. What's up now, tough guy?

201. No problem, sir.

202. That's right.

203. I guess we told him, right, Uncle Phil?

204. Sit down.

205. Sure.

206. Will, how could you get

207. $2,000 worth of parking tickets

208. when I told you to get rid of that car months ago?

209. Actually, I did get rid of it.

210. See, I gave it to a friend.

211. Look, I swear to you, Uncle Phil,

212. no way I got them parking tickets.

213. Look at the print out.

214. Huh? Read—

215. "Snuffy's chicken shack,

216. "big Ben's barbecue,

217. Alice's all-nude revue."

218. What do you call this?

219. One hell of a Friday night.

220. Can I see that, Uncle Phil?

221. Wait a minute.

222. Uncle Phil, these are all jazz's hangouts.

223. He must have gotten all these parking tickets.

224. I'm serious. I'm going to kill him!

225. How could he go

226. to Alice's all-nude revue without me?

227. Well, hello, Philip. My boy, welcome to city hall.

228. Thank you. Will, wait in the car.

229. And don't even touch the steering wheel.

230. Yes, sir.

231. Hey, judge, judge. Check it, judge. Check it out.

232. Look, brother ran into a little misfortune, right?

233. I got, like, 2 grand worth of parking tickets.

234. I was just wondering, I don't know.

235. Maybe you might be able to do a little something for me?

236. I thought he was selling condoms.

237. Ho ho.

238. Heh heh.

239. I apologize for my nephew, judge

240. and I hope this little incident

241. didn't cause any undue embarrassment.

242. I mean, the press is gonna have a field day.

243. Well, I certainly hope so.

244. This is just the beginning.

245. You know, I was browsing through the police files

246. and bingo! Up pops your nephew's name.

247. Parking tickets up the yin-Yang.

248. So I busted his bony butt.

249. Pretty good, huh?

250. Excuse me?

251. Oh, wake up, knucklehead.

252. You're in the big leagues now.

253. I may be old, I may be senile,

254. and I haven't been able to find my car for the past half hour,

255. but I can beat your butt in a political campaign any day.

256. You're dead meat, tiny.

257. Heh heh heh.

258. Heh heh heh.

259. I always knew will would be the downfall of this family,

260. but no one ever listens to me.

261. What, honey? I'm sorry. I wasn't listening.

262. I can't believe this.

263. Will being arrested means we're all going to be investigated.

264. I mean, this is how they knocked off imelda marcos.

265. I'll just die if they touch my shoes.

266. I'd die if you made your own bed.

267. Get off me, man. Just off me.

268. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

269. Thank you.

270. Will!

271. Oh, I'm so glad you're home.

272. Carlton said you were probably doing 5 to 10 by now.

273. Are you alright, sweetheart?

274. Yeah, I'm fine, aunt viv.

275. Good, now I'll break your legs.

276. Vivian, Vivian. I'll handle this.

277. We've to make a statement for the press.

278. So, put on an apron, grab the cookie jar.

279. Forget it!

280. And I ate all the cookies before lunch.

281. Ok, ok, then we'll have to grab the cutest kid.

282. Mmm.

283. Ah! Ashley, you'll do. Come on. Smile, sweetheart.

284. Let's go, Vivian. Come on.

285. Ok.

286. This is the worst day of my life and soon as I see jazz,

287. I'll make it his worst day.

288. Will, you seem embittered. Jail will do that to a man.

289. Now that you've done hard time,

290. a book may be in order.

291. Criminals sell.

292. I can sell criminals.

293. You're a criminal.

294. Really?

295. And you're too short

296. to ride the teacup ride at Disneyland.

297. Whazzup, will?

298. Man, what's with all the reporters?

299. I ain't seen no chalk outlines or nothing.

300. That's 'cause I didn't murder you yet.

301. What's got your bvds in a bunch?

302. Well, for starters, you ruined

303. the most important day in my Uncle's life.

304. Haagen daz opened in bel-air?

305. Jazz, I trusted you with my ride over the summer,

306. and you got $2,000 worth of parking tickets.

307. And you didn't even tell me.

308. You're right. I should've told you.

309. Will, I got $2,000 worth of parking tickets.

310. Well, what do you plan to do about that, jazz?

311. I'll take care of it, man. I promise.

312. Can I borrow $2,000?

313. This is not a joke, man. I trusted you, jazz.

314. I trusted you, and you got me tossed into jail.

315. Friends don't do that to each other, man.

316. Friends are supposed to be there for each other.

317. Friends aren't supposed to set you up to take a fall.

318. And most importantly, friends are supposed to be honest with each other.

319. And you obviously don't fit that mold.

320. So, from this point on, you can consider our friendship over.

321. You're no longer welcome in this house,

322. and I'd appreciate it if you just got the hell out of my crib.

323. Ain't—

324. a-ain't you going to even bother to throw me out?

325. You're not worth it, man.

326. Hey, guys. Hey, will.

327. Hey, g, you want to go watch some underdog?

328. Why? Do I look like a moron?

329. Banks' residence.

330. G., look, if that's jazz, tell him I don't want to talk to him.

331. It's for me. It's my accountant.

332. So what are you wearing?

333. Hey, Carl, man, how about we shoot down to the wing king, man?

334. Get a bucket of ribs?

335. Do I look like jimmie Walker?

336. Forget you then, man.

337. Hey, hey, hey, Ashley.

338. I just got the new video boxing. Come on. You wanna play?

339. Sorry, homey. Homework.

340. Oh, hey, hil, you want to—

341. no, will, I don't want ribs, I don't want to wax your ride,

342. and I don't even know what a chumpie is.

343. Ok, alright.

344. It's like that, right? Just like that.

345. Y'all going to flee me like that!

346. My suggestion to you,

347. my despondent, desperate,

348. and ne'er-do-well cousin,

349. is to make amends with your partner in delinquency.

350. What?

351. Call him, will. I'm sure jazz is sorry.

352. Why should I call him after what he did to me?

353. You know, forget it. I don't need him.

354. I don't need you. I don't need nobody.

355. I just want to get up to my room, Uncle Phil.

356. Brother don't want no trouble.

357. It's alright, will. I'm not mad anymore.

358. Oh, my God. Philip, look at this.

359. It's all in the paper.

360. They got a picture of me throwing a reporter in the pool.

361. Oh, what a wonderful way to start my campaign.

362. My nephew gets arrested.

363. My wife looks like—

364. you look wonderful, sweetheart.

365. I don't know.

366. Actually, aunt viv, you got a kind of a...

367. Homicidal sumo wrestler thing going. Raahhr!

368. Oh, but you workin' it, girl.

369. Good morning.

370. Good morning.

371. What are you doing here?

372. I was out for my morning constitutional,

373. and I must've walked farther than I thought.

374. But, since I'm here...

375. Bean pie for all.

376. You know, just my way of saying...

377. You know.

378. Oh, that's very nice, jazz.

379. Thank you, jazz.

380. I guess you two want to be alone.

381. I don't get it. Philip, why did he give us a bean pie?

382. What am I, Freud? Grab a fork, Vivian.

383. Well...

384. I guess I ought to be going.

385. You probably got college applications to fill out.

386. Yeah, actually, I do.

387. You probably want to hang out with educated people

388. who drink their malt liquor in a glass.

389. What are you talking about, jazz?

390. Face it, will. You're going to go off to college to be somebody,

391. and I'm gonna be stuck here living foot to mouth.

392. I think you mean hand to mouth, jazz.

393. Don't try to impress me with your fancy education.

394. You're going off next year to some big old college,

395. and I'll be sitting here by the phone waiting for you to call.

396. You're not making any sense, jazz.

397. You used to think that was cute.

398. Uh, wha—

399. oh, wait a minute.

400. You mean this whole thing

401. is about me going off to college?

402. Oh, comes the dawn.

403. My mother told me you was no good.

404. I knew I should've listened to her.

405. See, I promised myself I wasn't going to cry.

406. Look, come on, jazz.

407. Get your hands off of me.

408. I'm not a faucet to be turned on and off at your whim.

409. I have emotions.

410. Jazz—

411. yes, it's true that I'm going off to college, man.

412. But come on, you're like family to me.

413. Jazz, just 'cause somebody moves away from the family,

414. that doesn't mean they break up.

415. That means, the family has to work harder

416. to stay together.

417. You understand what I'm saying?

418. No.

419. But at least you talking to me.

420. Come on, jazz. You know you're always gonna be my homey.

421. Psssh... Psssh...

422. Why didn't you just say that in the first place?

423. I did say that. Why don't you clean your ears?

424. Now, I know you ain't talking about nobody's ears.

425. Hey, come on, man.

426. Let's go to the mall and pick up chumpies.

427. Will, could you do one thing for me?

428. You know, just for old times' sake?

429. Sure, no problem, man.

430. Aah!

431. Jazz, I trusted you with my ride over the summer,

432. and you got me tossed, blah.

433. I mean, shoot.

434. I said shoot, mom!

435. I raised my boy better!

436. Oh, God!