The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air 3x6

Directed by Shelley Jensen

Sherman Hemsley as Judge Carl Robertson • Michole Briana White as Lindsey Simon • Valentina Marie Lomborg as Campaign Worker

While Philip entertains rude, senile Judge Robertson, Will accepts expensive gifts from Lindsey Simon, a rich classmate who wants to buy his affection.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Hi, will!

2. Hey, how are you doing, Lindsey?

3. Are you going to the Lakers game?

4. I wish. I don't have no tickets.

5. Isn't that a coincidence?

6. I have tickets and no one to go with.

7. You enjoy yourself tonight, alright?

8. Too bad you can't make it.

9. The seats are center court.

10. We can go in dad's limo.

11. I have passes to the after-game party.

12. Who am I to be so selfish?

13. Pick me up around 8:00.

14. Just for tonight, how about you let your buns down?

15. Geoffrey, you look great today.

16. Have you done something with your hair?

17. Yes, I stopped pulling it out.

18. What are you selling?

19. I'm Hawking candy bars. They're only 5 bucks.

20. Marvelous. With what I'm paid,

21. I should be able to afford one

22. by the end of the day.

23. You poor, pathetic gigolo.

24. How could any self-respecting man sell himself so cheap?

25. Like I don't hear enough of that from my mother.

26. I was talking to will.

27. Of course, why would anyone talk to me?

28. I'm but a poor, lowly servant.

29. Well, Carlton, what's your damage, man?

30. Lindsey can't resist me.

31. It's just a laker game, you know?

32. Besides, you know what they say about guys with big ears.

33. They can fly?

34. I don't want to talk about this.

35. Why don't you want to run?

36. He's probably afraid he'll crack the concrete.

37. Will, the L.A. political coalition asked your Uncle

38. to run for superior court judge.

39. Yeah.

40. Those imbeciles are trying to railroad judge robertson out.

41. I can't believe that.

42. Judge robertson?

43. They have the audacity to try that?

44. Who the hell is judge robertson?

45. Your Uncle's mentor and a colorful person.

46. He was a little eccentric.

47. He taught me the true meaning of justice.

48. I thought I wouldn't make it through school, he wouldn't let me quit.

49. I wouldn't have gotten through law school without him.

50. What did he do, have the halls widened?

51. Ha ha ha!

52. That was a good one.

53. For your information,

54. he taught me not only the spirit,

55. but the letter of the law.

56. Whoo, God bless him.

57. And I consider it an insult for anyone

58. to railroad him out of office.

59. What do you think, will?

60. I think I shouldn't have said nothing about them halls.

61. So, did everybody watch

62. L.A.'s favorite weathergirl today?

63. No. No. No.

64. Well, I was the bright spot as usual.

65. I wore my new versace.

66. What's the weather going to be like tomorrow, honey?

67. What am I, psychic?

68. Oh, please! Let me get it this time.

69. Uh, hilary,

70. you look so beautiful today.

71. I was born beautiful.

72. What are you selling?

73. O.K., 10% off.

74. I'll take two.

75. Ahem.

76. Master William, miss Lindsey to see you.

77. Miss Lindsey, this is most inappropriate.

78. I couldn't possibly...

79. Oh! It's Ben!

80. Thank you.

81. Yo, Lindsey, what are you doing here?

82. That's no way to talk to your guest.

83. Hi, I'm Vivian, will's aunt. Nice to meet you

84. nice to meet you.

85. Will, can I talk to you?

86. Right this way, money—honey, I'm sorry.

87. Lindsey, what's up?

88. I had a great time. It was magic.

89. What did you do?

90. I'm talking about us.

91. I didn't want the night to end.

92. Nights do that sometimes.

93. Look, will, we had so much fun the other night,

94. I was wondering if we could spend some time together.

95. Look, Lindsey, I'd really love to,

96. but I have obligations, commitments.

97. I have a gold watch!

98. So, how about a little thank-you kiss?

99. Thank you.

100. Oh, yo, gi, here's the whipped cream you wanted for dinner.

101. Who said it was for dinner?

102. Hey, Carlton, what time is it?

103. Oh, I'm sorry, I almost forgot.

104. I'm only wearing the finest time piece ever made.

105. This gold model was hand crafted in Switzerland

106. by the finest of craftsmen.

107. Keeps time accurate to within three seconds a year.

108. Love the casio.

109. Will, you're nothing more than a troller.

110. A strumpet.

111. A love slave. Sans the love.

112. I'm sorry, Carlton, I couldn't hear you

113. my damn watch was just ticking so loud

114. you just don't have the fortitude to say no.

115. Carlton, please, I mean, I have no choice.

116. I'm the chosen one.

117. Take Moses, when he was asked to part the red sea

118. did he say "no, ya'll build a dam"

119. do I look o.K.?

120. Relax, we're just having company.

121. It's not just company. It's judge robertson.

122. He's done so much for me over the years

123. it's my chance to pay him back.

124. Baby, we're just having pot roast.

125. Is the judge here yet?

126. No, not yet.

127. Then I have time to plant this.

128. Hilary, what is that?

129. It's a bug.

130. They gave it to me at the news room.

131. Scooping dirt on judge robertson

132. could be a promotion.

133. I feel just like Deborah norville,

134. except I have a job.

135. Hilary, forget it.

136. This man is our guest.

137. Show him the respect he deserves.

138. Here comes the judge.

139. Here comes the judge.

140. Order in the court!

141. Here comes the judge.

142. It wouldn't kill you to crack a smile, you know.

143. Ah!

144. Judge robertson, it's so good to see you, sir.

145. It's so easy to see you.

146. Looks like you haven't stepped on the scales of justice

147. in quite some time.

148. Ha ha ha!

149. Did you hear what he said?

150. He was...

151. Oh... Oh... Um...

152. I'm laughing at something that happened yesterday.

153. Oh, I'm done now.

154. I remember you!

155. You're Carlton!

156. Ha ha ha!

157. I've known you since you were yay-high.

158. Ain't nothing wrong with his memory.

159. You got that right.

160. There may be snow on the roof,

161. but there's fire in the furnace.

162. And hello, Vivian.

163. Philip, your wife gets more youthful with every passing year.

164. Excuse me, this is my daughter hilary.

165. This is my wife Vivian.

166. You've aged.

167. And what the hell is that you're wearing?

168. Why don't we come over here?

169. Dinner is served!

170. Benson!

171. I didn't know you were really a Butler.

172. Judge robertson's quite a character.

173. Hey, how come he keeps calling you weezy?

174. I'm sorry, he's beyond eccentric.

175. I asked him to pass the salt, he told me to go long.

176. He was joking, Vivian.

177. He broke a window!

178. He's a sexist pig.

179. That's not true. He's pro-choice.

180. He said the only choice a woman should have

181. is with or without the lights on.

182. Oh, see, no that's disgusting. The lights should be off.

183. The only time a woman should sit on the bench

184. is when she's waiting for a bus.

185. That's ridiculous!

186. What if she's serving Cole slaw at a picnic?

187. Point taken, you have the makings of a fine judge.

188. Ha ha ha.

189. Judge, you were telling us

190. about your most recent decision.

191. Oh, yes, I had this boy before me.

192. No preponderance of evidence either way.

193. It was a tough call, but I had to convict.

194. How did you decide?

195. The prosecutor was a babe,

196. so after I decided in her favor,

197. she decided in mine.

198. Look at the time.

199. Well, judge, let me walk you to your car.

200. Good. Maybe you can remember where I parked.

201. Hi, will!

202. Hey, Lindsey, how you doing?

203. Will, would you like to go with me to the autumn dance?

204. Uh, wow.

205. Um, look, Lindsey, you've been generous,

206. you know, but I just can't—

207. well, look...

208. A motorcycle helmet, hey.

209. Hey, but, Lindsey, I can't take—

210. wow, a motorcycle jacket

211. with Malcolm on it.

212. I can ride and be righteous at the same time.

213. Look, but, Lindsey...

214. These go to your new harley-Davidson.

215. Now, what were you saying?

216. Thank you?

217. Oh, yeah, right, like you wouldn't take it!

218. Will. Hey.

219. How did this get on the patio?

220. I was careful driving through the house.

221. Where did it come from?

222. The harley factory.

223. It's from Lindsey, isn't it?

224. What does she get in return?

225. All the rides she wants, aunt viv.

226. You are acting like a pimp!

227. That is totally unfair.

228. If a man was buying a woman these gifts,

229. nobody would say anything.

230. Gender doesn't matter.

231. If you don't care for someone,

232. you shouldn't accept gifts.

233. It diminishes you everytime you accept something from Lindsey

234. you were not raised that way.

235. You know what you need to do.

236. Yeah, put out.

237. I know, I know, I give this stuff back.

238. And...

239. I got to be honest with her.

240. You know that's right.

241. If I keep the bike, I'm a pimp.

242. If I give it back, I'm a damn fool!

243. Ah, well, pimp it is.

244. Hi, honey.

245. Hi, baby.

246. Chocolate.

247. Uh-uh-uh! Forget it, honey,

248. at 5 bucks a pop, I'm not sharing.

249. I am so angry.

250. Here, have a bite.

251. No. It's about judge robertson.

252. He's on that bench for all the wrong reasons.

253. Unless he's opposed, he'll stay forever.

254. Like who?

255. Oh, I don't know.

256. Somebody dynamic... Principled...

257. Someone who looks good in a black robe.

258. Jesse Jackson?

259. Ohh... No! Me!

260. Ha ha ha.

261. Baby, I always thought you'd make a fabulous judge.

262. You sure, baby?

263. This could mean big changes for us all.

264. It could also mean big changes for the city. Maybe for the better.

265. I love you, Vivian.

266. I love you, too.

267. Get your hands off my chocolate, or you're a dead man.

268. Here's judge robertson at that anti-war rally.

269. He was the only Professor

270. with guts to go up against the administration.

271. I can't believe it.

272. He was a great man and a hell of a lawyer.

273. I mean that those women didn't shave under their arms.

274. Hey, Uncle Phil,

275. who's that skinny, weird dude next to you?

276. That's me.

277. That's a relief.

278. I was wondering why Phil was holding that dude's hand.

279. He'll be here any minute.

280. How will I tell him I'm running against him?

281. How do you tell somebody

282. that used to be your hero that he's incompetent?

283. Well, big guy, may I suggest using flash cards

284. with really big pictures?

285. If he's the man you think he is, he'll understand.

286. If he's the man I think he is

287. he'll probably get lost on his way to the bathroom.

288. Judge robertson.

289. Thanks, Benson.

290. For the last time, sir, I am not Benson.

291. Oh, sure, right, right.

292. How are you doing?

293. Well, uh, we'll leave you two alone.

294. Come on, kids.

295. Goodnight, nice seeing you again.

296. Mm, mm, not only has she aged,

297. she has a beer belly.

298. That's my wife, and she's pregnant.

299. Then she should lay off the beer.

300. Would you take a seat, please?

301. Judge robertson, I hear that you're running for re-election—

302. and you want to make a big, fat contribution.

303. Hey, make the check out to cash.

304. In fact, why not just give me cash?

305. Or maybe that ring?

306. That's good.

307. No, Carl, look, there's something I want to tell you,

308. but I can't seem to find the words.

309. Where did you have them last?

310. No... I'm talking about what's happened to you.

311. I'll be Frank.

312. O.K., and who am I?

313. No. Look, what I'm trying to say is...

314. That maybe you've served the community long enough.

315. As your friend, I think I should tell you

316. that maybe it's time for you to retire.

317. Me, retire?

318. Oh, Frank!

319. Have you lost your mind?

320. I mean, this is cushiest job in town.

321. I get free coffee, validated parking,

322. I don't have to wear pants,

323. and there's no one to run against me.

324. Yes, there is.

325. Who?

326. Me.

327. You!

328. You've got to be kidding!

329. I taught you about law, not politics.

330. The point is I'm running against you,

331. and I thought I should tell you.

332. Let me tell you something face to face!

333. I am a very worthy opponent.

334. And I can see myself on your head.

335. Oh, Benson, my car!

336. Ah, takes a licking and keeps on ticking.

337. Judge.

338. Hey, what's going on?

339. What are you doing here?

340. I don't know. Don't I live here?

341. No, judge, you don't.

342. Ah ha ha!

343. No wonder the garage door opener didn't work.

344. It took forever to pry it open.

345. Uh, look, judge, um...

346. Juice?

347. No. No, thanks.

348. Look, I got some problems I got to deal with tonight.

349. Woman problems.

350. Oh, women!

351. They've been a problem since they started voting!

352. Sit and talk to me.

353. I've had my share of problems with women.

354. It's this girl at school, Lindsey, right?

355. She just keeps buying me all these fly gifts.

356. So what's the problem?

357. Well, I'm not really attracted to her

358. so what's the problem?

359. Well, my aunt viv told me it's not right

360. to accept gifts from people you're not attracted to.

361. Look, son,

362. I remember when I was your age

363. there was this girl.

364. I didn't like her that much.

365. She was always buying me gifts...

366. Dinner, taking me out.

367. She offered to send me through law school.

368. So what did you do?

369. Huh, what else?

370. I married her.

371. Pie?

372. Uh, no, thanks, judge.

373. So, wait, you're just going to tell me

374. that you got together with this girl

375. and had this long, incredible, wonderful life.

376. I wish I could tell you that.

377. The truth is, I dumped her after law school.

378. Aw, I'm sorry, judge, that's too bad.

379. Oh, no, that's o.K.

380. We split everything down the middle.

381. I got the money, the house, car, boat...

382. She got to keep the kids.

383. Pie?

384. No. No, thanks.

385. So you saying that you just kept all the stuff

386. that she gave you even after y'all broke up?

387. Damn straight!

388. Possession is 9/10 of the law.

389. Yo.

390. Look, Lindsey, I told you I'm busy.

391. But I'm in the neighborhood.

392. Really close.

393. How close, Lindsey?

394. Princess Leia!

395. May the force be with you!

396. Somebody broke into your garage.

397. Quick! Call the police!

398. Lindsey, can I talk to you for a second?

399. What are you doing here?

400. As if I didn't know.

401. It's over, will.

402. Hear what I said—what!

403. Over.

404. But why?

405. Why ask why? Look at her.

406. I'm not attracted to you, will.

407. Whoa, yeah, yeah, yeah.

408. Yes, you are.

409. No, I've never been attracted to you.

410. Then why did you buy all this stuff?

411. You're captain of the basketball team.

412. You're popular.

413. Being seen with you at the autumn dance

414. made me popular, too.

415. But, now your job is done.

416. That woman is ruthless.

417. Ever think about going into politics?

418. Yeah, as a matter of fact...

419. Whoa, whoa, whoa!

420. I'm saying, Lindsey, what about me as a person?

421. What about my dimples when I smile?

422. And what color are my eyes?

423. You're quiet. You don't even know.

424. Who cares?

425. Who cares?

426. I feel so used, so cheap.

427. Well, you certainly weren't cheap.

428. You cost me a fortune.

429. I want my stuff back.

430. Now.

431. Wait, look...

432. Now!

433. Shhhh...

434. You take this ring back.

435. My mother don't scream at me like that.

436. Take the watch back and the jacket back.

437. Nice meeting you, young lady.

438. Be sure to rock the vote.

439. Goodnight!

440. You know, judge...

441. I never thought saying goodbye would be so hard.

442. I really loved that watch.

443. Well, he was a little eccentric.

444. He traught—taught me— let's do it again.

445. He traught you? What'd he traught you?

446. He traught me oops.