The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air 3x5

Directed by Shelley Jensen

Tom Williams as Baby (voice) • Lark Voorhies as Cindy • Roxanne Beckford as Bride • Lahmard J. Tate as Groom • Gregory White as Minister

Carlton prepares for a dinner date with his former girlfriend, Cindy (Lark Voorhees), forgiving her for rejecting him several months earlier, but when she arrives with a newborn baby named Carlton Jr., the entire Banks family is stunned.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Well, how do I look?

2. Whoa! Man!

3. Ooh!

4. You know that model in them Hugo boss ads?

5. Yeah.

6. You don't look nothing like him.

7. You're just jealous

8. because the love of my life has returned.

9. In Cindy, I've found the woman I'd share my life with.

10. You've never even found a woman you'd share a burrito with.

11. But Cindy dumped you, man.

12. She didn't dump me, will.

13. She just had a fear of intimacy caused by an overpowering father

14. and a narcissistic mother.

15. You sure it wasn't your breath?

16. Oh, look! Hors d'oeuvres.

17. Isn't it great to be rich?

18. Hands off. It's for Cindy.

19. Cindy? Isn't she the one who dumped you?

20. Carlton?

21. Why are you wearing a suit?

22. Is daddy bringing home white people?

23. No. Cindy's coming over.

24. Cindy?

25. I thought she dumped you.

26. Okay. Okay. She dumped me,

27. but now that she's back, I'm not gonna let her go.

28. I'm going to prove to her that I'm ready for an adult, mature relationship.

29. Door! Door! Door!

30. Alright. Don't wet yourself. I'll get it.

31. God, I'm a wreck.

32. Carlton!

33. Cindy.

34. I, uh, have something that belongs to you.

35. Say hello to daddy.

36. Excuse me.

37. g, hurry up with that water, man.

38. Thanks. Carlton, wake up.

39. Now, come on, man.

40. Congratulations, man. It's a boy.

41. Hey, Carlton. Come on, man.

42. Carlton? A father?

43. He won't even let Ken and Barbie sleep in the same shoe box.

44. You and Cindy? I mean, come on.

45. The longest relationship Carlton ever had

46. was with last year's ebony swim suit issue.

47. This isn't a joke.

48. I mean, doesn't he look just like Carlton?

49. Well, it looks like they wear the same size.

50. Can I hold him?

51. Yeah.

52. Oh.

53. Oh, he's so cute.

54. Ohh!

55. Get this drool machine away from me!

56. Ohh!

57. Hey, here. Can I?

58. Here.

59. Hey, juju.

60. What up, dude?

61. boy, when mom and dad see this,

62. somebody's going to swing.

63. Well, I can assure you, it won't be me.

64. This time the Butler didn't do it...

65. Hasn't done it,

66. and I'd be surprised if he even remembered

67. how to do it.

68. Philip, I'm never wearing

69. a bathing suit again as long as I live.

70. Honey, I'm sure the pool man

71. didn't really mistake you for me.

72. He called me Mr. banks.

73. That's still no reason to hold his head under water.

74. I'll get you some antacid for that.

75. But that—that wasn't me.

76. Cindy!

77. Mr. and Mrs. banks!

78. Hi, sweetheart.

79. How long has it been?

80. I'd take a shot in the dark and say, oh, around nine months.

81. Whose is that?

82. He's mine.

83. Oh, my goodness. He's adorable.

84. Come here, sweetheart.

85. Oh, my. What's his name?

86. Carlton.

87. Oh, my God.

88. Please tell me your father's first name is Carlton.

89. Sorry. Wrong answer.

90. For those of you just tuning in

91. to name that father,

92. this little bundle of joy belongs to a young man

93. who's seen little mermaid eight times.

94. No...

95. No.

96. Carlton...

97. Are you the father?

98. Excuse me.

99. Carlton! Carlton!

100. Vivian, honey!

101. Back off, Philip! I'm having a mother/son moment!

102. Carlton, how could you do this to us?

103. Vivian, step away from the boy!

104. Now, look.

105. We're going to have to talk about this in private.

106. Not you, stupid! Sit your butt down.

107. Hey, I'll take care of this, Uncle Phil.

108. Okay. That's it. Move it along. Party's over.

109. Nothing to see here.

110. Come on. Pep it up, little gray man.

111. Whew! Man, I thought they'd never leave.

112. Will.

113. Phil.

114. Alright.

115. I'll just go over here.

116. Look, I didn't mean to cause any trouble.

117. Sweetheart, you show up with a baby that you say is my son's,

118. and you didn't mean to cause trouble?

119. Where do you think you are, fantasy island?

120. Watch out how you talk to the mother of my son...

121. Sir.

122. Carlton, do you realize what you're saying?

123. He is Carlton's baby.

124. I'll believe that when I see a blood test.

125. It's the truth whether you wanna believe it or not.

126. I love Carlton.

127. Really?

128. Yes.

129. And I'll tell you something else.

130. Carlton is the most incredible lover I have ever had.

131. Oh, God!

132. I mean, he's so in tune with my needs.

133. It was amazing and endless and magnificent!

134. I think I saw God.

135. Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

136. The windows. I'm sorry.

137. I'm washing the windows.

138. I fell. I fell.

139. We'll go.

140. I fell.

141. Sorry.

142. Carlton, I'm so disappointed in you.

143. Why didn't you come to us first, honey?

144. We could have counseled you.

145. Or at least had you neutered.

146. Cindy honey, I don't understand

147. if you knew this was Carlton's son, why did you leave?

148. Because I knew that a baby could ruin his life,

149. but I did feel that he deserved to see his son,

150. and that's why I came.

151. Thank you for stopping by. Goodbye.

152. Philip.

153. Cindy honey. I think we need to talk to your parents.

154. That won't do any good.

155. They don't want to have anything to do with me.

156. They threw you out?

157. Where are you going to stay?

158. Mommy?

159. Well... You could stay with us.

160. Ohh!

161. At least until after the blood test.

162. I couldn't impose.

163. Oh, we understand.

164. You know, I hear ramada inn has a wonderful pool.

165. Cindy, please stay. We want you to. Okay?

166. Carlton will show you to the guest room,

167. and there's no need to wake the baby.

168. You know, it's like the Rodney king videotape.

169. You know, I just keep seeing it over and over

170. and over again.

171. And I ask myself, where did I fail him, you know?

172. Where did we go wrong?

173. Hey, mom. Guess who?

174. No. It's will.

175. Will Smith.

176. Hey, yo, mom. Check it out.

177. It is some drama cutting loose out here.

178. Hey, no. I'm not in trouble. Check it out.

179. Somebody we know is a grandma.

180. No, no. Not you, mom. Mom!

181. No mom. Mom stop crying. Stop crying.

182. Mom no. It's not me. Carlton is the father.

183. Stop laughing mom.

184. Uh, yeah, yeah.

185. That'll be a large pepperoni with extra cheese. Right.

186. I love you.

187. Oh, that makes them bring it faster.

188. Give me the phone, will.

189. This time Cindy's parents are gonna talk to me.

190. Philip, honey. Just be calm.

191. Now, I'm sure they are lovely people.

192. Just because they let their daughter run wild

193. they can't take advantage of our son and flush his life

194. down the toilet?

195. Give me the damn phone, Philip.

196. Vivian. Vivian. Sweetheart. I'll handle it.

197. Ah, yes. Hello. Don't you dare try to hang up on me.

198. What kind of lowlifes are you throwing a minor to the street

199. endangering a helpless infant?

200. I'm gonna do everything I can to see you behind bars.

201. And what do you have to say for yourself?

202. Uh, so, when will your mommy and daddy be home?

203. Here we come, ready or not.

204. Super, huh?

205. Look, matching hats.

206. Oh, I never knew having a family could be so neat.

207. I love you.

208. I love you, too.

209. Alright. Whoa, whoa.

210. I'd like to take this opportunity

211. to bring it to everyone's attention

212. that Uncle Phil's head is about to explode.

213. And for once, it ain't my fault.

214. Well, I think it's time

215. for little Carlton's nap.

216. Yeah. It smells like he needs to be changed, too.

217. I'll miss you, honey.

218. I'll miss you, too.

219. Isn't she something?

220. Yeah. She sure is,

221. and Monday, after the blood test proves the baby's not yours,

222. she'll be out of here on the first thing smoking.

223. Dad, the baby's mine.

224. Carlton, honey. Suppose the baby is yours.

225. Being a teenage parent is a very big responsibility, honey.

226. And you have already proven yourself irresponsible.

227. Otherwise you wouldn't be in this situation.

228. How are you gonna feed this baby?

229. Where you gonna live? How're you gonna educate it?

230. Wait a minute.

231. You mean, you're not going to take care of us?

232. Hold me back, Philip. Just hold me back.

233. Hey, hey...

234. Take another step,

235. and I'll fill you full of potassium.

236. Master William, might I see you for a moment?

237. Yeah, sure. What's up, g?

238. Well, it's such a beautiful night.

239. I thought you might like to see the moon.

240. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

241. Go easy on the poor little pinhead.

242. Are you climbing down rapunzel's extensions?

243. Oh! Shh!

244. I don't want mom and dad to know.

245. To know what?

246. Cindy and I are driving to lompoc.

247. No, Carlton. Nobody drives to lompoc.

248. You drive through lompoc.

249. No, but there's a chapel.

250. We're eloping.

251. What? I don't want to hear it.

252. I'm tired of everyone telling me what to do.

253. I love Cindy, and I've made up my mind.

254. Alright, man. Fine.

255. Whatever you want to do is fine with me.

256. What?

257. Whatever you want to do is fine with me.

258. If you want to marry Cindy, go ahead.

259. Just do me a favor. Sleep on it tonight.

260. In the morning, if you feel the same way,

261. then whatever you want to do. Deal?

262. Deal.

263. My man.

264. Oh! Give me your car keys.

265. You know, will, I gave you my word.

266. I think that'd be enough.

267. You're lucky I don't do you like kunta kinte

268. and chop off your foot.

269. Your cheesecake, sir.

270. Thank you, Geoffrey.

271. Geoffrey, would you get Carlton, please?

272. Certainly, sir.

273. Thank you.

274. "Run, Geoffrey."

275. "Fetch, Geoffrey."

276. Perhaps you'd like me to catch a frisbee in my teeth.

277. Hey, y'all.

278. Hey, freeze!

279. Just where have you been?

280. Uh, to the refrigerator?

281. At this hour?

282. It's 8:00.

283. Philip, look at us. We are really overreacting.

284. This is will. There's no such thing as overreacting.

285. Frisk him.

286. Whoa!

287. Look, adolph, eva, why don't y'all relax.

288. Geoffrey...

289. Where's Carlton?

290. I'm sorry, sir, but he's not in his room,

291. but the trip wasn't a total loss.

292. I found $1.25 under his bed.

293. Who knew Christmas would come twice this year.

294. Geoffrey, did you check Cindy's room?

295. Ha! The girl hasn't a penny to her name.

296. Will...

297. Where's Carlton?

298. I don't know, Uncle Phil.

299. Did you check the cracks in the couch?

300. Will...

301. You know something?

302. Oh, come on, Uncle Phil. Does this look like the face

303. of a dude that knows something?

304. He's got a point there, Vivian.

305. Well, maybe we should call Carlton's friends.

306. That's a good idea. I'll call one. You call the other.

307. Number 52!

308. Well, we're next, my little bride to be.

309. Carlton...

310. I hope you don't feel like

311. I pressured you into this.

312. I mean, you are glad we're getting married, right?

313. Glad? Cindy, I've been in love with you

314. ever since the third grade.

315. I used to go to sleep at night

316. and dream about the day we'd be married.

317. Do you really mean that, Carlton?

318. Yes.

319. Oh, we're going to have such a wonderful life.

320. We'll have to live in a trailer at first,

321. I'll get a job during the days and work nights too

322. as soon as I lick that pesky fear-of-the-dark thing.

323. Carlton, I was thinking that I would get a job, too.

324. Oh, don't worry about it. No wife of mine's working.

325. She should stay home and take care of the kids.

326. Exactly how many kids?

327. Well, you know what they say—

328. eight is enough.

329. Look, Carlton, I need to, uh...

330. Would you watch the baby for a minute?

331. Sure.

332. Shh! Shh!

333. Please, sweetie, please don't cry.

334. Wah!

335. Wah!

336. Here comes little Mr. ducky.

337. Doesn't he quack you up?

338. Oh, wow! If I could pass like that,

339. they wouldn't make me play on the girls' team.

340. Shh!

341. They'll throw us out.

342. Shh!

343. ha ha ha!

344. That's my boy.

345. If there's anyone here

346. who feels they should not be joined in holy matrimony,

347. let them speak now or forever hold their peace.

348. Stop man. Don't do it! You don't know if the baby's yours!

349. How did you know I'm having a baby?

350. What? You're having a baby?

351. Oh, yo, hey, my fault, y'all.

352. You see, my cousin was supposed—

353. hey, congratulations, man.

354. Uh, so, you're having his baby.

355. What a wonderful way to say how much I love you, huh?

356. You're too late, will.

357. Oh, man, you did it? Tell me you didn't do it.

358. God, please tell me you didn't marry her.

359. I didn't marry her.

360. Yes. You the man.

361. She left me.

362. I got the feeling she didn't want to live with me.

363. What made you think that?

364. She said she didn't want to live with me.

365. I mean, she can't just walk out on you like that.

366. What if the kid's yours?

367. He's not.

368. Carlton, c'mon. Just because the baby's cute,

369. doesn't mean you're not the father.

370. I never slept with her. Since we're in a church,

371. I feel the need to confess something.

372. Please don't laugh. This is really hard for me to say.

373. I'm, uh...

374. Uh...

375. Wh—you a German?

376. No.

377. I'm a virgin.

378. What?

379. I'm a virgin!

380. Yeah. It's nice to know somebody still is!

381. Hey, look, Carlton, man,

382. uh, I mean...

383. I didn't know.

384. I mean, hey, don't feel bad, though.

385. I mean, a lot of guys are...

386. You know, Germans.

387. Will, I feel so...

388. Unused.

389. I mean...

390. Promise me you won't tell anyone?

391. Hey, come on, you ain't got nothing to be ashamed of.

392. I mean, everybody talks about how much pressure

393. there is on girls to have sex.

394. There's pressure on us, too.

395. That's why we lie about it.

396. You lie? You mean, you're a virgin, too?

397. Shh! Keep your voice down, man. I—

398. I ain't no virgin!

399. Oh, sorry.

400. Hey look, when it come to me and the honeys,

401. I just say—duh-doh— ooh, yuck, tewey! Yucky!

402. Will, I'm really going to miss her.

403. Where did she go?

404. Back to her parents.

405. When she called and told them she was going to marry me,

406. they came and got her.

407. Hey, look, Carlton, man,

408. they're wrong about you.

409. You're a great guy, man.

410. Hey, look. Come on, let's go home so you can get in trouble.

411. Oh, and don't worry about it, man.

412. I mean, one day the right girl's going to come along,

413. and you won't be a German forever, you know?

414. Good, 'cause I'm really looking forward

415. to losing my accent.

416. Don't you dare try to hang up on me!

417. Who do you think you are?

418. What kind of lowlifes are you people,

419. to throw a helpless minor out onto the street

420. with a helpless infant?

421. Ha ha ha!

422. I'll call you back.

423. Ha ha ha!

424. Who are you people to talk to my Uncle like that,

425. with a helpless infant

426. and helpless actors with all these helpless people?