The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air 3x4

1. These kids have got be more sensitive with these bills.

2. They're out of sight.

3. Phil, stop looking at my chest.

4. I'm sorry, honey.

5. It's just that ever since you've been pregnant

6. they're back.

7. Is that all I am to you? As a bustline?

8. I'm sorry. Did you say something, honey?

9. Hey, morning, ya'll.

10. Hey, baby.

11. Check this out, aunt viv.

12. What are you doing?

13. I learned in biology

14. babies can respond to music

15. while still in the womb.

16. Like when you was carrying Carlton,

17. you kept listening to it's a small world after all.

18. The baby's kicking. Who's that singing?

19. Just a little heavy d. For heavy v.

20. It's bad enough you have an influence on Ashley.

21. Hands off the fetus.

22. Can we at least make the kid be righteous?

23. Have an African name, like, um,

24. Hey, check it out. I got him a gift.

25. New itty bitty x-cap.

26. Teeny weeny Doug Martins.

27. Too cool for pre-school, right?

28. Will, why all the sudden interst in the baby?

29. I've been able to save Ashley, but, um

30. as far as you see the other two kids

31. they're a couple wings short of a bucket.

32. Just one minute.

33. There is nothing wrong with Hillary and Carlton.

34. Daddy, how can I support myself if you don't increase your credit card limit?

35. Dad, I decided to throw a caution to the wind.

36. V-neck!

37. Co-incidence? I think not.

38. Allow me.

39. dad, I'd like to try something out on you.

40. Carlton, please.

41. Do I have to sit through your urkel impression again?

42. Maybe later.

43. I've been reading this book on negotiating.

44. I'd like to practice my technique.

45. No.

46. I'm going to look you straight in the eye

47. and ask you again.

48. No. And get some binaca.

49. Come on, big guy, work with me.

50. I'd like a raise in my allowance.

51. Alright. How much?

52. 75,000.

53. Are you insane?

54. The book says start high.

55. And obviously you are.

56. I'll give you $3.00 more a week.

57. Gee, thanks, dad.

58. Now I can stop taking money from your wallet.

59. Sorry, margo. I can't make the neiman's sale.

60. Now that I'm living on my own,

61. I have to do my own grocery shopping.

62. I know.

63. O.K., bye.

64. Hilary, honey, I'm really proud of you.

65. I don't think you've ever gone grocery shopping.

66. Well, I guess it's time I spread my wings.

67. That's the last time I shop here for fruit.

68. Oh, daddy, you don't have to carry it.

69. I'm a big girl.

70. Let go, daddy! Do your own shopping!

71. Dad, if we put a bell around her neck,

72. we'd know when she was coming.

73. Shut up, Carlton.

74. Okey-dokey.

75. Hilary, you're a 23-year-old woman

76. living in your parents' pool house.

77. You haven't had a job in over two months.

78. What do you have to say for yourself?

79. I'm not pregnant.

80. Honey, sweetheart, I...

81. I don't want to be too hard on you.

82. The hell I don't. Get a job.

83. Why don't you just beat me with a wire hanger?

84. Yo, yo, my posse, check it out.

85. Yours truly is going to be on the 6:00 news.

86. Hey, and without handcuffs.

87. What, they use the old choke-hold?

88. This I got to see.

89. It was a peaceful protest.

90. Would've made Gandhi proud.

91. Except we went out for burgers afterwards.

92. Well, what were you protesting, will?

93. The city wants to tear down the pico rec center,

94. so we started a petition we might be able to save it.

95. When did you become so socially conscious?

96. I play ball down there.

97. Plus, it's good for the community.

98. There's also this girl down there on the swim team.

99. She teaching me the breast stroke.

100. Come on, you guys, the news is starting.

101. Tear it down! Save the rec!

102. Save the rec! Tear it down!

103. I'm standing outside the L.A. recreational center

104. on pico boulevard.

105. The people you see behind me

106. all have one thing in common.

107. Yeah. Polyester.

108. Except for that guy holding the microphone.

109. He's kind of cute.

110. I wonder why I've never seen him before.

111. Probably because this is the news

112. and he's never been on studs.

113. Doesn't matter. He wouldn't be interested in me anyway.

114. I have no job. I have no self-esteem.

115. I'm nobody.

116. Shut up!

117. We're trying to hear the TV.

118. This place is a magnet for urban decay.

119. I've been mugged here twice.

120. I say tear the sucker down.

121. Of course, not everyone felt the same way.

122. Ahh, here we go.

123. I'm for the rec center

124. because that's where I do most of my rec centering.

125. When I'm not down with r-e-c,

126. I'm down with r-a-p.

127. good luck, homey.

128. I don't believe that mess.

129. It's the same thing

130. every time they interview a black person on TV.

131. They either singin', dancin',

132. they got curlers on or out of activator.

133. Will, that really makes you think—

134. what's activator?

135. Come on, man. You saw that story.

136. I mean, that ain't fair.

137. Life isn't fair, will.

138. Was it fair when Bambi's mother died?

139. Or is it fair

140. that the coyote still can't catch the roadrunner?

141. Or how about Roger rabbit?

142. How did he get a babe like that?

143. You know, Carlton, you're right.

144. Life isn't fair, because if it was,

145. your legs wouldn't be shorter than your arms.

146. Hey, good morning.

147. Hi, Carla. Any calls?

148. Just another lonely white woman

149. wanting to sleep with you.

150. Carla, that's very unprofessional.

151. Besides, how do you know she's white?

152. She's my mother.

153. Hmm.

154. Oh, forget it, will.

155. Trevor won't be interested in some unemployed freeloader.

156. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

157. Now come on, hil.

158. Your job is not your identity.

159. You got a lot going for you.

160. Like what?

161. Well, like the fact that you're...

162. Well, you know that you-you're...

163. Your... Hat always matches your shoes.

164. Talk about missing the obvious.

165. Thanks, will.

166. Excuse me, miss.

167. Last night this station did a hatchet job

168. on the rec center.

169. I want to talk to somebody.

170. That would be our producer Howard.

171. But he doesn't talk to the viewing public.

172. It causes his ulcer to bleed.

173. Howard, there's someone here to see you.

174. Heh heh heh heh.

175. Thank you.

176. No. Thank you.

177. Oh, God.

178. What?

179. Oops.

180. Um, I dropped my wallet.

181. Could you get that, please?

182. If your horny friend wants to meet Trevor,

183. he's down the hall.

184. But you'll have to fight my mother for him.

185. O.K.

186. Someone here to see me, Carla?

187. An angry viewer. I'm going to lunch.

188. See you tomorrow.

189. Look, kid, I've got an emergency.

190. I need a new weatherman.

191. I just need 30 seconds on the air

192. to talk about saving the rec center.

193. Ethnic is definitely a way to go.

194. Yo, come on, man, this ain't about color.

195. I ain't some young rapper trying to get on TV.

196. Great legs.

197. Oh, thanks.

198. Thanks a lot, man.

199. But I ain't dancin' either. This is serious.

200. Look, kid, I got to run.

201. Alright, I'll dance. Just no tap, alright?

202. Maybe Mike can help you.

203. Look, Mike, I'm going to cut to the chase.

204. I need 30 seconds on the air.

205. Can you help me?

206. I'm 60, and I'm pushing a mail cart.

207. Do I look like I can help you?

208. Excuse me.

209. I'm Howard, the producer of news in action.

210. Could you do that again?

211. Do what?

212. Stand like you were before, on your toes,

213. only this time I'd like you to point.

214. Incredible.

215. How would you like to be a weathergirl?

216. I don't know the first thing about weather.

217. Sure you do.

218. What happens when it rains?

219. You send Geoffrey out to get the car.

220. Yo, man, I don't appreciate being played like this.

221. It's 'cause I'm black.

222. That's why you won't put me on the air.

223. That one black anchor just ain't going to cut it.

224. That's why I'm making her our new weathergirl.

225. Oh!

226. Whew. I love a screamer.

227. Oh, will, this is all thanks to you.

228. I owe you big-time.

229. This is great.

230. You can put me on the air.

231. Forget it. What experience do you have?

232. This is 'cause I'm black.

233. Yo, I don't believe this,

234. yo, the news station won't let me on

235. to talk about the petition.

236. Will, will, will, will, will...

237. Haven't you learned anything,

238. living with me the past two years?

239. What you mean, other than the words to Mandy?

240. I'm talking about the art of negotiation.

241. And I'll be glad to share my wisdom with you.

242. No, no. Last time you shared something with me,

243. I was on antibiotics for two weeks.

244. Hi, boys.

245. What's goin' on, Uncle Phil?

246. So, will, have any luck down at the news station?

247. No. It was weird.

248. No matter how much sense I made, the dude wouldn't listen.

249. I don't know.

250. It was almost like a discrimination-type thing or something.

251. I don't know...

252. Boy, I wish I knew a lawyer.

253. What are you talking about? You know me.

254. You this big-time lawyer and everything.

255. You ain't got time to help us little guys fight the system.

256. You did, back in the day. You was the man then.

257. Don't even worry about it, Uncle Phil.

258. wait a minute, will.

259. Who did you meet with?

260. Some producer named Howard, Uncle Phil.

261. Let's pay Howard another visit.

262. Nobody pushes my nephew around and gets away with it.

263. No, sir, they do not!

264. I'll slap that place with so many class-action suits,

265. they won't know what hit 'em.

266. Hi, everyone.

267. Did will tell you the good news?

268. I got a job.

269. Hallelujah. Praise Jesus. Let's go, Uncle Phil.

270. No, wait. It's not every day my baby gets a job.

271. What will you be doing?

272. O.K., try to guess.

273. A limo picks me up and takes me home,

274. I'll make lots of money,

275. and I'll only have to work an hour a day.

276. Oh, my God.

277. She's going to be a hooker!

278. No, you idiot.

279. I'm going to be a weathergirl.

280. That is so great. Let's go, Uncle Phil.

281. I didn't even know you were up for the job.

282. Was it? It's all thanks to will.

283. Unlike you, who kicked me when I was down,

284. will took me by the hand and let me to the station

285. to meet Trevor Collins,

286. and while I was there, Howard offered me the job.

287. I love Howard.

288. Uncle Phil, remember, Howard's the enemy.

289. Shut up, will.

290. Howard's a God.

291. He performed a miracle. Hilary's working.

292. With luck, she'll be off my property before I'm dead.

293. So, sweetheart, tell me about this Howard.

294. Does he like cashmere?

295. Ha ha ha ha.

296. My man, Carlton.

297. What's up with this negotiating thing, man?

298. Hop on one foot and say Carlton is king.

299. You know, I got a better idea.

300. How about I squeeze your neck till your head pops off?

301. See? You're negotiating already.

302. You guys are the greatest.

303. Thanks for making sure I got here o.K.

304. That's what family's for.

305. We wouldn't have gotten past security without you.

306. I don't understand.

307. We were counting on that.

308. Hi, Carla. Any calls?

309. I'm gonna demand to get on the air.

310. Has all that hot sauce finally gone to your brain?

311. There's a right way to negotiate and a wrong way.

312. Observe the right way.

313. Hi. I'm here to see Howard.

314. Your name?

315. Bryant.

316. Bryant gumbel.

317. And I'm Patti LaBelle.

318. Beat it.

319. Look, Patti, you seem like a no-nonsense kind of slimmie.

320. I'll give it to you straight.

321. Will, you got to lie to get what you want.

322. Didn't you watch the republican convention?

323. Carlton, don't make me come down there.

324. Look, I need 30 seconds on the air

325. to talk about why the rec center shouldn't be demolished.

326. I don't care if I got to force my way on the set.

327. Let me get this straight.

328. You want to storm the set,

329. disrupt a live newscast, and jeopardize this station's credibility?

330. Yes.

331. Will you be needing wardrobe?

332. Five minutes to air, everybody.

333. Oh, hilary, before you go on,

334. I'm going to tell you the same thing

335. I told Dan rather.

336. Wet your lips.

337. Thank you.

338. So...

339. How do you like the jacket?

340. Incredible.

341. Makes me look really buffed.

342. It sure does.

343. Hi. I'm hilary banks.

344. I'm your new weathergirl.

345. Welcome aboard.

346. The last person who had your job

347. was really special to me.

348. I'm going to miss Lou.

349. I thought his name was Jack.

350. Whatever.

351. Wow.

352. I know.

353. Hi. I'm Trevor Collins,

354. and these are my real teeth.

355. Wow.

356. I know.

357. By God,

358. you have incredible eyes.

359. Really?

360. Yes. I can see myself in them.

361. Don't blink.

362. And to conclude our homeless story,

363. I'll leave you with something

364. a young girl named Dorothy said.

365. "There's no place like home, auntie em.

366. There's no place like home."

367. Trevor?

368. Well, on a brighter note,

369. Jack our weatherman died,

370. so it is now with great pleasure

371. that I introduce the newest addition

372. to the news in action team, hilary banks.

373. How's it looking for tonight?

374. Very promising.

375. Here in Southern California,

376. we're experiencing a warm front

377. with increasing humidity.

378. That's right, girls. It's a frizzy hair day.

379. Looking at the nation—

380. um... Looking at the nation,

381. there's a cold front blowing in from the Atlantic

382. with a high probability of rain in the midwest.

383. The South, however, will enjoy pleasant and sunny weather.

384. If you're planning on going to the beaches,

385. you can help keep America beautiful with two simple words—

386. Jenny Craig.

387. Let's look at our big board

388. for the local weather for the week.

389. Will!

390. That's right.

391. Will Smith here on community feedback.

392. Today's topic is the petition to save the L.A. rec center.

393. The rec center for a lot of us—

394. it's like a home away from home.

395. The people there understand us

396. and keep us out of trouble.

397. Hand me the Mike.

398. We'll pretend this never happened.

399. Oh, my God. Can we get a close-up?

400. I am so choked up at this moment.

401. Howard, the producer,

402. has just asked me

403. if he can sign the petition live on the air.

404. What?

405. And, of course, the answer's yes.

406. Talk about a leader.

407. Talk about a man who supports his community.

408. Ohh!

409. Thank you, Howard.

410. For those of you that want to follow

411. in Howard's footsteps, there's still time.

412. Sign a petition at the L.A. rec center.

413. Show our kids we really care. Thank you.

414. I see my time has run out. Trevor?

415. Don't let me be Rodney, man!

416. Thank you for that commentary.

417. And please remember to put back my blazer!

418. Hilary!

419. Thank you for that delightful forecast.

420. We will certainly be looking forward to seeing

421. more of your warm front.

422. I mean the warm front.

423. Well, from all of us here at news in action,

424. goodnight and godspeed.

425. Hi, will.

426. What's going on, hil?

427. Why aren't you in bed?

428. Uncle Phil saw the news.

429. He threatened to kill me in my sleep.

430. That's nice.

431. With a big butcher knife.

432. Good for you.

433. Hilary, your hair's on fire.

434. Thanks.

435. You know, will,

436. life doesn't get any better than this.

437. I mean, I have a great job,

438. I met a great guy,

439. and I have the thinnest ankles

440. of any girl I know.

441. You're not mad at me for messing up your first day?

442. Of course not. If it weren't for you,

443. I wouldn't have gotten the job.

444. Thanks a lot, hil. I'm proud of you.

445. I'm kind of proud of myself.

446. For the first time, I know what it means

447. to be an independent woman.

448. I think I'm going to go back to my little pool house

449. and toast myself with a glass of champagne.

450. Goodnight, hil.

451. Goodnight, will.

452. Goodnight, Trevor!

453. Goodnight and godspeed!

454. For all of us here at news in action,

455. goodnight and godspeed.

456. Another one in the can.

457. Yes. You're in awe of me, aren't you?

458. I am. You're the best.

459. I'm a God. You're very good.

460. Excelente.

461. Yes.

462. Cut. Print it.