The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air 3x15

Directed by Shelley Jensen

Tom Virtue as Forest Ranger • M.C. Gainey as Luther • Phil LaMarr as Edward • Beverly Jackson as Bailiff • Rolondas Hendricks as Jamal

Philip is quick to judge an ex-con Will urged him to hire as a handyman and temporary assistant after the house is robbed.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Can you take me to the beach, man?

2. Will, you're taking that baseball along?

3. No, no. See, this isn't just a baseball.

4. This was autographed by "say hey" Willie mays.

5. I had to sell half your coin collection

6. just to buy it.

7. If you ask me, you're obsessed.

8. I'm obsessed?

9. Look, Carlton, you hurt his feelings.

10. Say sorry. Say it!

11. I'm sorry.

12. Will, seek help.

13. Carlton, just drop me off at the beach.

14. Wait. Drop me off a couple blocks away.

15. The honeys get nervous seeing me with a midget.

16. Will, today is senior day.

17. We're supposed to work on our college applications

18. and think about our futures.

19. I am.

20. My future involves a sweet young thing

21. in a thong, you know?

22. Let's jam, pee wee.

23. Forget it, will. I'm not going to the beach.

24. I'm going to the library.

25. Oh, really?

26. Well, I got 10 spangies here

27. that said you're going to the beach.

28. They lied.

29. g, can you please take me to the beach?

30. So sorry, master William. I'm on a break.

31. G, when will it be over?

32. When you get another ride.

33. Morning, sweetheart.

34. Geoffrey, my bags are upstairs.

35. How thrilling for you.

36. Geoffrey, I'm very, very fond of you,

37. but I'm also eight months pregnant

38. and in a bad mood.

39. I could easily rip out your heart,

40. eat it, and then have cappuccino.

41. Am I making myself quite clear?

42. Hallmark couldn't have put it any better.

43. Aunt viv, I'll really miss you this weekend.

44. Oh, no, you won't. I won't miss you, either.

45. There was an army of ants in my shower this morning.

46. So call the exterminator.

47. Also, call the garage door people and the plumber.

48. You were handling that.

49. I'm big as a house.

50. I just want to lie in bed and eat pie.

51. Me, too, but I still get things done.

52. Guess what? You're not going to believe this.

53. You paid for your own dinner?

54. Are you insane?

55. I'm going to be interviewed by the L.A. weekly.

56. Now that I'm a famous weather girl,

57. people want to know me.

58. If anyone asks, I'm 21 and fought in desert storm.

59. Madam, I've put your luggage in the limousine.

60. O.K. Goodbye, sweetheart.

61. Alright, I'll give John and Cheryl your love.

62. I promise I'll try and come back in a better mood...

63. If I come back at all.

64. If we're lucky, she'll come back as Claire huxtable.

65. Oh, look— a black howdy doody.

66. That is my assistant Edward.

67. Shame on you, will.

68. God.

69. Good morning, howdy— uh, Edward.

70. Good morning, judge banks.

71. I hope you don't mind the imposition.

72. You can review your notes going to court.

73. Even I can't drive and read at the same time.

74. Sure, you can, Uncle Phil.

75. I do it every morning on my way to school.

76. Actually, I took the liberty

77. of putting your notes on tape.

78. Oh. Thank you, Edward. It must have taken hours.

79. Three days, but I found it extremely enlightening,

80. not to mention rewarding.

81. Yeah.

82. Oh, I almost forgot one thing.

83. If it's your nose, I know where you left it.

84. I was hoping to have a day off.

85. I'm interviewing with a very prestigious law firm.

86. I'm very busy today. Can't you postpone it?

87. Of course. I'd be happy to.

88. I'll just wait another eight months.

89. Go to the interview, Edward.

90. Thank you, sir.

91. Thank you again.

92. And again, and again.

93. Want me to get you some knee pads?

94. Mr. banks, the gardener left this for you.

95. "Dear Mr. banks, how can I put this?

96. Your wife's crazy. You're cheap. I quit. Adios, Hector."

97. Great. Just what I need.

98. Can I be of assistance?

99. Yes. Call a gardener, call an exterminator,

100. find a plumber, and fix the garage door.

101. Even Aladdin only got three wishes.

102. How will I make it through the day

103. without an assistant?

104. Well, got to go.

105. Not so fast, will.

106. I really need your help.

107. Uncle Phil, you know you my man, right?

108. Today is senior day.

109. I'm going to the beach to harass young women.

110. Sometimes you have to do something to help others.

111. You right, Uncle Phil, and I see it.

112. It's like a vision. I'll do that when I'm 30.

113. I won't get through this day without help.

114. Come on, like my father used to say,

115. "it's better to give than to receive."

116. Your pop had a drinking problem, didn't he?

117. Get out of those clothes and into the damn car.

118. A gentleman would at least give me dinner first.

119. And if you want to stay out of jail,

120. I suggest, you stop associating with known criminals

121. and low life scum.

122. Jamal?

123. Will!

124. Yo, man. You cool, it's my Uncle.

125. Hey Uncle Phil, this is—

126. got offended.

127. Sit down, will.

128. Oh, my fault. Sorry.

129. Hey, Jamal, why don't you offer him this candy?

130. Will!

131. Next case.

132. Where are my files?

133. Oh, I got them right here for you, Uncle Phil.

134. I just cleaned them up a little bit, you know.

135. Why?

136. I don't know, man. Some fool spilt some slurpee or something.

137. It cool now.

138. People vs. Luther devins, case number 3612.

139. Rrrrr.

140. Listen up, baby.

141. Why don't you stenog your number for me?

142. You look so good, wish I could plant you

143. and grow a whole field of y'all.

144. Will, approach the bench, please.

145. Just a second, Uncle Phil.

146. Get your butt over here.

147. Closer.

148. Come on. A little closer.

149. Come on. Come on.

150. Come on.

151. Remember, you're here to help me,

152. not help yourself.

153. Now, sit down and shut up!

154. Kong not happy.

155. Well, counselor, I see that your client

156. has violated probation again.

157. Why hasn't he found a job yet?

158. He's tried, but he hasn't been able to.

159. We're here to request more time.

160. Mr. devins, you've served five years in the penitentiary.

161. I'm sure you learned a trade in there.

162. Actually, I wrote a book.

163. That's kind of fly, man.

164. Tell that to the publishers who rejected me.

165. I hate rejection.

166. I wrote some poetry about it.

167. Mr. devins, I find it difficult to believe

168. that you've put forth

169. an honest effort to find employment.

170. I'll take any kind of job.

171. I'm handy. I can fix anything.

172. Why are you unemployed?

173. Nobody wants to hire an ex-con.

174. Please. That's a very lame excuse, Mr. devins.

175. I'm perfectly within my rights

176. to send you back to prison.

177. Yo, Uncle judge.

178. Uncle Phil, you could give him a job.

179. Are you crazy? He's an ex-con.

180. Come on, Uncle Phil.

181. All that stuff that's broken around the house.

182. Plus, I got a good feeling about this guy.

183. Look at him.

184. I don't think that would work, will.

185. Aw, Uncle Phil, remember what your pop said—

186. "'tis better to give than to receive."

187. I really, really hate you.

188. Love you, too, Uncle Phil.

189. Check it out. My Willie mays went up again.

190. I can get 300 spangies for this.

191. 225 tops.

192. I tried selling it yesterday.

193. After mowing the lawn, prune Mrs. banks' roses.

194. My pleasure.

195. I have a date tonight. Would you wash the car?

196. Can you Jack up the driver's seat a little?

197. Could you pick up my dress from the dry cleaners?

198. While you're at it,

199. could you type up something about the industrial revolution

200. and put my name on it?

201. You dribble and shoot, you know?

202. You hope for the best.

203. I'll take care of everything.

204. Thanks again for the work.

205. Hey, there's more where that came from.

206. What a great guy.

207. In... Credible.

208. Dude got it going on,

209. especially after spending five years in the pen.

210. The pen?

211. Please tell me that's slang for the valley.

212. Look, now,

213. don't everybody overreact,

214. but he served time for burglary.

215. Are you out of your damn mind?

216. Ashley?

217. My God! I've got to make myself look less attractive.

218. I know. I'll put on something of mom's.

219. I'm nailing down all of my dolls right now.

220. Me, too!

221. Hey, hold it! Hold it!

222. He's paid his debt to society.

223. He deserves a second chance.

224. Whose idea was this?

225. His.

226. Will, you've put this entire family in danger.

227. This is the dumbest thing you've ever done.

228. Will, you are a genius.

229. Luther is a godsend.

230. He fixed all the bulbs in my vanity mirror.

231. I'm even prettier than I thought.

232. Hilary, I don't think it's possible

233. for you to be prettier than you thought.

234. Thank you, will.

235. Will, I fixed that TV in your room.

236. By the way, you now get the playboy channel.

237. My man.

238. Ow!

239. I don't know, will.

240. I wouldn't leave a convicted felon alone in my room.

241. But what could you possibly have of any value?

242. What you talking about, man?

243. How about, for instance,

244. my Willie mays baseball?

245. Look at the time.

246. 4:00 already. I better get some sleep.

247. Where's my Willie?

248. Carlton, I can't find my Willie.

249. Carlton, tell me there's a baseball in this thing.

250. There's no baseball, will.

251. I guess you wasn't listening.

252. Carlton, tell me there's a baseball in this thing.

253. It's gone. Luther's a thief.

254. What are we going to do?

255. We don't know Luther did it.

256. If it looks like a duck, smells like a duck,

257. and sounds like a duck, what is it?

258. Your prom date?

259. I told you she had a cold.

260. If you're so sure Luther didn't take it,

261. why don't you ask him?

262. He won't have anything to hide.

263. Carl, you can't just accuse people of stuff.

264. You think he did it, you ask him.

265. Oh, right. I'll ask a vicious, hardened criminal,

266. "can I have my ball back?

267. Please don't snap my neck like a twig."

268. You have to be clever to outthink the criminal mind.

269. Hey, Luther.

270. Luther, how you doing?

271. There's Luther.

272. I'll find out if he's honest.

273. Luther, you dropped your wallet.

274. No, that's yours.

275. So it is.

276. How honest of you to say so.

277. So, Luther.

278. Baseball's a fine game, isn't it?

279. Oh, yeah.

280. Carlton, can I have a word with you?

281. Oh, sure.

282. The word is idiot, man.

283. Can't you see he's innocent?

284. I'm going to go buy myself some lumber.

285. I'll get started on that trellis.

286. Good for you, Luther.

287. Nice talking to you, Luther.

288. You're doing a good job, Luther.

289. Great having you aboard, Luther.

290. Thanks.

291. See you, Luther.

292. Luther's guilty. I'm telling dad.

293. No, you're not, man,

294. or I'll tell him about your calls to 1-900-horny.

295. You wouldn't.

296. Let's go out to dinner.

297. Out? We can't go out.

298. We can't leave. Our stuff is here.

299. Carlton, Geoffrey's away. Mom's gone.

300. If we don't eat out, we'll starve.

301. Come on. Let's celebrate.

302. It's not every day will does something right.

303. Luther's a good worker.

304. Good thing he worked out,

305. or I'd take it out of your hide.

306. That would be nasty, wouldn't it?

307. Ooh. Yecchh.

308. Come on, boys. Let's go.

309. We got to tell dad. Luther might be dangerous.

310. Carlton, please. The man is innocent.

311. Trust me.

312. Aah!

313. Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah!

314. What happened in here?

315. We was robbed!

316. Oh, my God! What'd they take?

317. I knew it.

318. I told you we shouldn't have left Luther here.

319. Luther did this?

320. Will, dad is going to kill you.

321. Me? Why?

322. No, he's not.

323. First, we don't know that Luther did this.

324. Second, Uncle Phil's a fair man.

325. He can't blame me for this.

326. Will, I'll kill you!

327. Uncle Phil, this ain't my fault.

328. I don't believe this.

329. "Give him a job, Uncle Phil.

330. I got a good feeling about him."

331. Look, I'm telling you,

332. there's probably a perfectly good explanation for this.

333. Like what?

334. Whew.

335. Maybe Luther took all our stuff

336. to get it scotchguarded.

337. It could happen.

338. Shut up! Any idiot could see he's guilty.

339. I'm calling the police.

340. Oh! My tevin Campbell posters!

341. If he touched them, I'll hunt him down like a dog!

342. Wait, wait, wait a minute.

343. Come on, let's just calm down.

344. I mean, come on.

345. What did we lose for real?

346. Just, a bunch of things.

347. We're all healthy.

348. We're all safe.

349. Where the video games?

350. Where are my video— oh, oh, aah!

351. I can't breathe.

352. I can't.

353. He was probably planning this from day one.

354. Don't blame yourself, big guy. Blame will.

355. He should've told you Luther stole his baseball.

356. What baseball?

357. What baseball?

358. Well, baseball game where man with stick hit ball and run.

359. Sort of like this.

360. Hold it!

361. You mean Luther stole your Willie mays,

362. and you didn't tell me about it?

363. I didn't really know, Uncle Phil.

364. If we want to be serious about this,

365. it's all your fault.

366. Excuse me?

367. If you'd let me go to the beach,

368. then none of this would have never happened.

369. I'll give you to the count of 10

370. to get out of my sight.

371. 9...

372. Luther steal my stuff.

373. Now I get in trouble.

374. I wish that punk was in here right now, 'cause...

375. I'd scream like a girl.

376. Uncle Phil, Luther's in the house!

377. You right. Dig me with my bad self.

378. What are you doing here?

379. I've called the police.

380. You've got nerve coming back after robbing us.

381. What are you talking about?

382. Oh, please!

383. If this wall weren't in my way, mister,

384. you'd be plenty sorry.

385. After we gave you a second chance,

386. this is how you repay us.

387. I did not rob you. Will, you believe me, right?

388. People like you give ex-cons a bad name.

389. I'm calling the police, man.

390. Damn, that was fast!

391. They must have thought we was white folks.

392. Come on in, officer.

393. Thank God you're here.

394. I was about to turn this sucker out.

395. Officer, I want you to arrest this man.

396. He stole my baseball and some other stuff.

397. I can't do that, sir.

398. We already arrested the perpetrator.

399. Yes. His name is Edward haskell.

400. Claims to be your law clerk.

401. Edward? There must be some kind of mistake.

402. I'm afraid not, sir.

403. We saw his u-haul double-parked.

404. Upon suggesting he move,

405. suspect confessed to cleaning you out.

406. Why would he want to rob me?

407. He says he's sick and tired of getting you bagels,

408. it's not his job to iron your robes,

409. and he said you unfairly accused him

410. of calling 1-900-horny.

411. The man is obviously a deviant.

412. Well, thank you, officer.

413. I'll meet you at the station to make a positive I.D.

414. Luther... Uh uh uh uh.

415. Luther, we're sorry. We were wrong.

416. Tell me about it.

417. Luther, we're sorry.

418. Someone in my position should be a better judge of character.

419. Will you continue working for us?

420. Well, after working in this house,

421. jail won't be so bad.

422. See ya.

423. Well, I trust we all learned something from this.

424. Yeah. Don't work for you.

425. We weren't completely wrong about Luther.

426. Yes, we were.

427. He didn't touch my tevin Campbell posters.

428. Yeah, but he took will's baseball.

429. You mean the one in the plastic case?

430. I borrowed it for batting practice.

431. Where is it, Ashley? It's worth a lot of money.

432. Really? Didn't look like it.

433. Somebody wrote all over it.

434. But don't worry. I cleaned it off for you.

435. Where are those damn tevin Campbell posters?

436. No! No!