The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air 3x14

Jack Heller as Phillipe • Cheri Caspari as Shannon • Christina Harley as Girl #1

Geoffrey humiliates himself by insulting the Banks family and quitting his job when Will and Carlton trick him into thinking he has won millions of dollars in the lottery.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Okay, here we go. Put down your money.

2. Locate the black queen, and I don't mean little Richard.

3. There!

4. Hey!

5. Oh!

6. Okay, Carl. You're pretty good for a white guy.

7. What's going on out here?

8. I'm cleaning up, Geoffrey.

9. I hope they pay you more than they pay me.

10. Seriously, Geoffrey. You should get in on this.

11. Do you play the hell's kitchen version

12. or the a-train hybrid?

13. Huh?

14. I'm in.

15. Alright. Here we go!

16. that one.

17. Yes!

18. Dag. Well, there goes Saturday night at sizzler.

19. I had coupons, too.

20. Beginner's luck, master William.

21. One last bet?

22. Naw, no thanks. I'm out, g.

23. Didn't realize you were such a coward.

24. Buck buck buck.

25. Buck buck. Chicken.

26. Buck buck.

27. Alright. Don't nobody call me a coward.

28. What's your bet?

29. 50 big ones.

30. Pashoosh. I ain't no punk, but I'll take that.

31. Alright. Here we go.

32. I can't look.

33. Oh!

34. Drat!

35. Damn! Oh, damn, g.!

36. Oh, damn! See, this one red.

37. If it was like you, you'd of won,

38. but it red, so you lost.

39. Better luck next time.

40. He fell for it, will. Now let's go hustle dad.

41. Oops.

42. Oops? Good cover.

43. I'm guessing you've done this before.

44. you're wasting your time.

45. Geoffrey already cut out the bra ads.

46. Will, for your information,

47. I was looking at those funny little markings

48. underneath the pictures.

49. In bel-air, we call them words.

50. Guess what? I just finished my first short story.

51. What a coincidence! Your first short story

52. and your first short son in the same room.

53. My friend at essence magazine offered to read it,

54. but first I want you to tell me what you think.

55. Great. I can't wait to read it.

56. Now that I'm a professional,

57. I'm going to go check out that new word processor.

58. That's my little writer.

59. Okay, somebody bury this.

60. Dad, are you crazy?

61. If I read this story, it'll be the biggest mistake ever made.

62. I don't know about that.

63. Remember them plaid shorts you wore last summer?

64. Look, let me tell you boys something about women.

65. If I read it and say I like it,

66. she'll think I'm trying to make her happy.

67. If I say I don't like it,

68. she'll stop trying to make me happy.

69. Women is a trip, Uncle Phil.

70. It's like, you accidentally scream out the wrong name,

71. they jumping out the back of your car like that!

72. What are you going to do, dad?

73. I'm the man of the house.

74. What do you think I'm going to do?

75. What a man would do.

76. Buy her a car and hope she forgets about this.

77. You know, we can learn a lot from that man.

78. Hey, G, would you make me a sandwich?

79. But of course.

80. Now you're a sandwich.

81. You can take it off your head.

82. Uh, g. Is something wrong?

83. You swindled me.

84. I was planning to use that money on lottery tickets.

85. The jackpot's up to $26 million.

86. Wow. Could you imagine what life would be like

87. with all that money?

88. Buying whatever you want, driving fancy cars,

89. dining in fancy restaurants.

90. Wait a second.

91. That is what life is like.

92. This is getting me nowhere.

93. If you'll excuse me,

94. I'm going to enjoy the one thing you can't spoil.

95. I don't know. Geoffrey works hard for his money.

96. We have so much, and he has so little.

97. Well, now we'll have more.

98. Yes.

99. Felix, I'll take famous quotes for 100.

100. The question is,

101. what is the motto of the three musketeers?

102. That's an easy one.

103. Creamy on the inside, smooth on the outside.

104. "All for one, and one for all."

105. Right again.

106. I can't believe you missed that one, g.

107. Will could have guessed that,

108. and all he reads is the cereal box.

109. Yeah, well, at least I don't fit in one.

110. If you're so confident in my lack of ability,

111. perhaps you'd like to make a little wager...

112. Say $30?

113. Done.

114. Vietnam for 200.

115. You drew the wild card.

116. What do you say, Geoffrey?

117. Want to double your bet?

118. Well, it is an awful lot of money, but...

119. What the hell?

120. And the question is,

121. who is the South vietnamese president

122. killed by his own generals in 1963?

123. Ngo dinh diem.

124. No guesses?

125. The correct answer is, ngo dinh diem.

126. Splendid!

127. I say we call immigration.

128. Oh, is this brainstorm?

129. How sad. Some people will do anything for money.

130. Why don't they just ask their fathers?

131. The category is Greek history,

132. and the final brainstorm question is,

133. what bronze age civilization emerged about 2,500 b.C.?

134. Oh, I know. The minoan civilization.

135. Phew!

136. The minoan civilization?

137. Correct.

138. Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

139. Hold up. Time out. Flag on the play.

140. Travelin'. Off sides. Hold up. Wait a minute.

141. What's up with this here?

142. Hilary, how'd you know that?

143. Easy. Geoffrey's been watching that tape all day.

144. Well, I'm off to the store.

145. Oh, when you're through,

146. do turn off the vcr and return that tape of brainstorm

147. to my room.

148. Oh, and might I add,

149. ha ha and...

150. Ha!

151. Carlton, come on, come on!

152. Okay, okay!

153. I wonder what Geoffrey uses that cape for.

154. Just get up!

155. Give me the lottery ticket.

156. Watch the door.

157. Are you sure we should do this?

158. Come on, man. He got our money.

159. It's this, or force him to listen to yoko ono albums.

160. Boys, your mother is driving me crazy to read that short story.

161. Gee, dad. Why don't you read and get it over with.

162. I read it.

163. The only thing your mother should write is checks.

164. So, if she asks where I am

165. you haven't seen me, I'm not at home.

166. Whoa, whoa, whoa, but—

167. no buts, will, no matter what she says

168. you haven't heard of me.

169. Hi, sweetheart. How long have you been there?

170. You read it. You read it and you hated it.

171. No, I lost it. Yeah, yeah, that's it.

172. And I was looking forward to read it.

173. That's okay. I made an extra copy. Here.

174. I want you to be honest.

175. I will.

176. Oh, check it out!

177. The lottery numbers are coming on.

178. Turn it up. Turn it up!

179. Why, Geoffrey?

180. Do you have a ticket in today's drawing?

181. And this week's super lotto numbers are...

182. 16...

183. 22...

184. 3...

185. Oh, my.

186. 41...

187. Yes, yes!

188. 12...

189. Yes! Please, God, 15, 15! Please, God!

190. The last number for the $26 million jackpot—

191. 15!

192. Aah!

193. I'm rich!

194. I'm rich!

195. I'm rich! I'm rich!

196. Did someone say rich?

197. Hey, hey, how much money you got, brother?

198. What's going on? Don't tell me I'm too young to know.

199. Because I'm sick of it.

200. My friends, this calls for a drink.

201. This is incredible.

202. I'll say.

203. Uh, uh, uh, Geoffrey...

204. That's a $500 bottle of champagne.

205. Ah, the cheap stuff. Not to worry, Phil.

206. It's on me!

207. Geoffrey, check it out. Me and Carl—

208. aha! Your montreaux vase...

209. Attracts dust like a magnet!

210. G., listen—

211. aah! Aah! Aah!

212. Problem solved.

213. Okay, g. Listen. Listen.

214. Philip,

215. I have $1,000 with your name on it.

216. Do the family a favor—

217. get viv some cooking lessons.

218. You—

219. Uncle Phil!

220. And miss Ashley,

221. how does a Mercedes sound?

222. Vroom vroom?

223. Very clever. I'll get you two.

224. Vroom, vroom, vroom!

225. Nice try!

226. In case you haven't figured it out...

227. I quit.

228. I quit...

229. I quit...

230. I quit, I quit,

231. I quit, I quit!

232. Mom and dad are going to kill us.

233. No, they won't, 'cause they won't find out.

234. Geoffrey's not leaving. I'll do the right thing.

235. Tell the truth?

236. No, beg like Keith sweat.

237. ♪ money, money, money

238. Will, do something.

239. Will!

240. What?

241. You can keep the tape.

242. I'm buying the o'jays.

243. Look, um, g...

244. We've known each other, you know,

245. a long time, right?

246. Ha. We certainly have.

247. My God!

248. All these years.

249. All these memories.

250. How do you say goodbye?

251. Like this—

252. goodbye.

253. Goodbye!

254. Geoffrey, you remember when you came to us

255. and you had no money and nowhere to go?

256. Yes!

257. Well, some things never change.

258. Am I missing something?

259. Yeah. About $26 million.

260. Will did it!

261. What, man?

262. Did what?

263. We—we tricked you into thinking you won, g.

264. What you just watched was a tape

265. of last week's lottery numbers.

266. How clever!

267. You used my own ruse against me.

268. How I admire you!

269. Die!

270. Die!

271. Die!

272. Geoffrey, you're killing him!

273. You catch on quickly, you little twit!

274. G., g., listen,

275. I said we're sorry.

276. Oh, I—I'm sorry.

277. I must not have heard you.

278. I'm fine.

279. I'm okay. I'm okay.

280. Go! Get that punk, g.! It's his fault in the first place!

281. Look, g.,

282. it's going to be alright, man.

283. Uncle Phil will give you your job back.

284. What about the money?

285. There is no money.

286. I see.

287. I have no choice but to leave.

288. I made such a fool of myself.

289. Oh! I shudder to think

290. what I said to your parents.

291. G., come on, man.

292. No.

293. I'm too humiliated to stay.

294. But, Geoffrey...

295. You can't go.

296. It was a joke, man.

297. Will, what are we going to do?

298. I don't know about you, man, but...

299. I'm going to take this TV here.

300. Hey, grab that radio. Drop it off in my room for me.

301. You did what? Are you out of your horny little

302. adolescent minds?

303. I know I am, dad.

304. What you did was not only humiliating,

305. it caused Geoffrey to quit his job.

306. Uncle Phil, it was just a joke.

307. A joke I had nothing to do with, dad.

308. You know me. I don't even have a sense of humor.

309. You two have pulled some pranks in your day,

310. but this one— this one takes the cake.

311. He's about to blow, man.

312. Make a break for the front door. I'll cover you.

313. So...

314. So. So.

315. Tell me— if you were me, what would you do?

316. Um...

317. I don't know. Forget it and get us some jet skis?

318. I like that. You go whoosh.

319. Look, you big-eared freeloader,

320. you take your little square-headed cousin here

321. and you find Geoffrey and you bring him back,

322. or they'll never find your bodies.

323. And I'm a judge. I can make it happen.

324. You know, really...

325. I don't mind a yelling, but does he have to spit?

326. This happens all the time. They think I'm Bryant gumbel.

327. Are you the guy from Webster?

328. No.

329. I told you it was the guy from different strokes.

330. So, Bryant, are you sure this is the restaurant

331. hilary said g. Was working at?

332. What are you two nimrods doing here?

333. I'm pretty sure.

334. Look, g., come on. We want you to come home.

335. I'm afraid that's impossible.

336. G., we made a mistake. Okay?

337. What, are you going to hold a grudge forever?

338. How about until I'm dead?

339. Geoffrey, you can't let something like this

340. come between us.

341. I want you to leave.

342. I finally found a position

343. where I'm respected and appreciated.

344. Geoffrey, zee urinals need mints.

345. Move it.

346. Inside joke. You wouldn't understand.

347. Look, I don't think it's going to work, will.

348. Keep hope alive.

349. Yeah, my man.

350. Look, check it out. Me and my partner here,

351. we need a table, preferably by the window, now.

352. Who are you?

353. Who am I? Who am I?

354. I'm a black man with a short fuse!

355. Geoffrey, show them to zee table.

356. Show us to zee table.

357. Eat fast and get out.

358. We're not leaving without you.

359. Look, g., come on. Everybody misses you.

360. Well, get used to it.

361. I can't go back. You humiliated me.

362. Geoffrey, we've all been humiliated.

363. Yeah. How do you think Carlton feels

364. when he changes into his gym shorts?

365. That's a very small humiliation.

366. Hey, what's that supposed to mean?

367. Waiter, if I don't get something to drink soon, I'm going to die.

368. You promise?

369. I don't think he's going to come with us.

370. Don't worry, baby. Plan "b."

371. Say, miss, check it out.

372. Me and my partner can't afford nothing on this menu—

373. probably a vaseline and salt sandwich if they had one.

374. I give you $5.00 for that salad.

375. Alright, 6.50. $7.00 for just the lettuce.

376. Well, I never!

377. All this money he paying for this food, girl, you better!

378. What? What's up?

379. I'm so sorry!

380. You're embarrassing me!

381. You know what to do to get rid of us.

382. I know you're trying to get me fired,

383. but it won't work. Just leave.

384. Oh, my God!

385. Are you blind? Your table's on fire! Pay attention!

386. You idiot!

387. What is going on here?

388. Should I tell him...

389. Or do you want to, dad?

390. Zis is your son?

391. Of course not!

392. Is it our fault you never married mom?

393. I know she embarrassed you.

394. She only had one arm, and when you'd go to concerts,

395. she'd clap like this.

396. Surely, you don't believe this.

397. Daddy, you're ashamed of us?

398. This is my brother Carlton.

399. He knows we can't afford any bigger clothes,

400. so he just doesn't grow.

401. Daddy...

402. I want to grow!

403. He's never even been on a roller coaster, for God sakes.

404. You two are really something.

405. Something good or something bad?

406. I can't believe you'd go through all this to get me back.

407. We miss you.

408. We love you, dad.

409. Alright.

410. I'll come back home.

411. Daddy's coming home!

412. Thank you, daddy!

413. Thank you. Daddy's... Thank you.

414. Daddy's coming home!

415. you so crazy.

416. I'm crazy about you, girl.