1. Well, well,
I pressed 180 today.Copy !req
2. Eat your heart out.Copy !req
3. way to go,
Arnold schwartzenegro.Copy !req
4. I've had it up to here
with you right now.Copy !req
5. Me and you,
mano y mano.Copy !req
6. You're on.Copy !req
7. Go.Copy !req
8. Aah!
Aah!Copy !req
9. Aah!
Ahh!Copy !req
10. come on, Carlton, you can't keep
moping around forever.Copy !req
11. It's not like
you and Paula
broke up yesterday.Copy !req
12. You've had
the whole weekend
to get over it.Copy !req
13. Will, sometimes
you're so insensitive.Copy !req
14. Love isn't something
you can turn on and off.Copy !req
15. Carlton, I still think you're
blowing this whole thing
out of proportion.Copy !req
16. Now, I've seen Paula,Copy !req
17. and I don't see
what the attraction was.Copy !req
18. What are you
talking about?Copy !req
19. She's a beautiful,
intelligent girlCopy !req
20. with a dynamite
body.Copy !req
21. Oh, yeah, I know.Copy !req
22. I don't see what
attracted her to you.Copy !req
23. These are jokes, man.Copy !req
24. You gotta loosen up,
you gotta have some fun.Copy !req
25. You got to
do something
or go someplaceCopy !req
26. that gets her
off your mind.Copy !req
27. It's impossible.
Everywhere I turnCopy !req
28. I see something
that reminds me of her,Copy !req
29. something we've
shared together—Copy !req
30. a patch of grass,
a beach blanket,
a swing.Copy !req
31. Maybe you should
go to bed.Copy !req
32. Vivian, why are you making
a big deal about this?Copy !req
33. I say we do it
right here, right now.Copy !req
34. Oh, good, a floor show.Copy !req
35. Geoffrey, this envelope contains
Mrs. banks' sonogram.Copy !req
36. It'll tell us
if the baby'sCopy !req
37. a boy or a girl.Copy !req
38. How can you tell
if it's a boy or girl?Copy !req
39. Oh, Ashley,
you are so naive.Copy !req
40. If it's a boy,
it's blue.Copy !req
41. Come on,
I think it's timeCopy !req
42. for another
woman-to-woman talk.Copy !req
43. O.K., what do you
want to know this time?Copy !req
44. Hilary's not planning
on having kids, is she?Copy !req
45. Philip, I'm not looking
at this sonogram.Copy !req
46. It'll take away
the excitementCopy !req
47. in the delivery room.Copy !req
48. Half the thrill
is finding out.Copy !req
49. Alright, it's settled.
We don't want to know.Copy !req
50. Of course,
in the delivery room,Copy !req
51. I'm going to be
too busy screaming.Copy !req
52. O.K., I want to know.Copy !req
53. No, I don't.Copy !req
54. Yes, I do.Copy !req
55. This is exactly why
the doctorCopy !req
56. changed his number
on us, Vivian.Copy !req
57. Now for the last time,Copy !req
58. do you want to know
or don't you?Copy !req
59. No.Copy !req
60. Fine, then I'll
take the envelope.Copy !req
61. I'm not going to
open it. I promise.
Trust me.Copy !req
62. Aunt viv, I don't think so.Copy !req
63. This is the same dude
that said a squirrelCopy !req
64. ate that six-pack
of milky ways.Copy !req
65. I think Geoffrey
should hold onto it.Copy !req
66. Fine, and don't give it
to us...Copy !req
67. No matter how much
we insist.Copy !req
68. Got it?Copy !req
69. I think I can handle that.Copy !req
70. I got dressed
all by myself this morning.Copy !req
71. I feel good
about this.Copy !req
72. I think we're doing
the right thing,
don't you?Copy !req
73. Yes, I agree, baby.
We're doing
the right thing.Copy !req
74. Um, um, Uncle Phil?Copy !req
75. Hmm?Copy !req
76. Can I talk to you
for a second?Copy !req
77. Sure, will.
What is it?Copy !req
78. Look, a friend of mine
has a little problem,Copy !req
79. and I was wondering
since you a judge—Copy !req
80. I am not
reducing bail.Copy !req
81. No, Uncle Phil.
See, check it out.Copy !req
82. Now, this friend of mineCopy !req
83. knows this squaw
that he's completely
in love with,Copy !req
84. but this particular squaw
just broke up with
his best friend.Copy !req
85. Now he don't want to
dis his boy or nothing like
that, right.Copy !req
86. But he wants to know
how long is a good time
to waitCopy !req
87. before he raids
this squaw's village.Copy !req
88. You know
what I'm saying?Copy !req
89. Mmm...Copy !req
90. Interesting you
should bring
that up.Copy !req
91. I had a case
like that
just recently.Copy !req
92. Really?Copy !req
93. Word up.Copy !req
94. This guy
started going outCopy !req
95. with his best
friend's girlCopy !req
96. hours after
they broke up.Copy !req
97. Whoa. He waited
that long?Copy !req
98. This other guy
didn't think it was
that long.Copy !req
99. He was very jealous
and shot his friend.Copy !req
100. Dead?Copy !req
101. No. Let's just sayCopy !req
102. he's two olives
short of a Martini.Copy !req
103. Ooh.Copy !req
104. So before
your friendCopy !req
105. starts raiding
any villages,Copy !req
106. he better be sure
it's worth it.Copy !req
107. Hey, Paula, how are
you doing? It's will.Copy !req
108. Um, look,
about our date tonight...Copy !req
109. I'll rock your world.Copy !req
110. Psst! Geoffrey,
is Mrs. banks around?Copy !req
111. I believe—
shh!Copy !req
112. I believe
she's in the study.Copy !req
113. Shall I get her?
No.Copy !req
114. No.Copy !req
115. You do too much
running around
as it is.Copy !req
116. I hate having you
do everything.Copy !req
117. Mr. banks have you
been drinking?Copy !req
118. Of course not.Copy !req
119. I'd feel better if
you called me Phil.Copy !req
120. I'd feel a lot betterCopy !req
121. if you'd wash your
own underthings,
Phil.Copy !req
122. Ha ha ha!Copy !req
123. Look, Geoffrey,
now, I know
Mrs. banks and ICopy !req
124. made you promise
not to show us
that sonogram,Copy !req
125. but I've got to know
whether the baby
is a boy or girlCopy !req
126. and I can make it
worth your while.Copy !req
127. How does 100 bucks sound?Copy !req
128. Like one hell
of a night in Tijuana.Copy !req
129. Philip banks,
you really shouldCopy !req
130. be ashamed
of yourself,Copy !req
131. bribing Geoffrey
with $100.Copy !req
132. I'll say.Copy !req
133. At least
she offered me 200.Copy !req
134. Hello.Copy !req
135. Oh, hi, Paula.
Carlton's not here.Copy !req
136. Oh, well, who did
you want to talk to?Copy !req
137. Just a second.Copy !req
138. It's for you.Copy !req
139. It's Paula,
as in Carlton's
ex-girlfriend Paula.Copy !req
140. Gee...Copy !req
141. I wonder why
she want to talk
to me?Copy !req
142. Maybe I should
just find out.Copy !req
143. Hey, Paula,
how you doing?Copy !req
144. Hey, I'm really
looking forward
to tonightCopy !req
145. so—so we can...Copy !req
146. W-work on
some homework.Copy !req
147. Yeah, you should
probably get some
rest, uh...Copy !req
148. We might have to
pull a all-nighter.Copy !req
149. Talk to you later.Copy !req
150. Will, dating
Carlton's ex
behind his backCopy !req
151. isn't nice.Copy !req
152. Ashley's right.Copy !req
153. If Carlton
finds out,Copy !req
154. he may never
speak to you again.Copy !req
155. Maybe you're on
to something.Copy !req
156. Hold up.
First, look.Copy !req
157. Number 1—Carlton
is not even dating
this girl no more,Copy !req
158. number 2—I ain't
seen no rings
on her fingers,Copy !req
159. and number 3—
Denise got it
going on.Copy !req
160. Paula.Copy !req
161. Ooh, you're right.
I hope that doesn't
happen tonight.Copy !req
162. Boy, that Paula's
really bad news.Copy !req
163. First she dumps me,Copy !req
164. now you know
what she did?Copy !req
165. No.Copy !req
166. Hmm, will, do you know?Copy !req
167. Nah, I don't
know nothing.Copy !req
168. I'm just a poor
black manCopy !req
169. trying to make it
in bel-air.Copy !req
170. She gave me the flu.Copy !req
171. Wait. Look on
the bright side,
Carlton.Copy !req
172. Most girls don't
give you nothing.Copy !req
173. Hi, baby. How was school?Copy !req
174. Mommy, I don't feel so good.Copy !req
175. I think I got the flu.Copy !req
176. Oh, that's too bad, baby.Copy !req
177. Get out of the house.Copy !req
178. You know, we're getting
more and moreCopy !req
179. like the Jackson family
every day.Copy !req
180. Sweetheart,
you know I love you,Copy !req
181. but being pregnant,
I cannot take a chanceCopy !req
182. of getting sick. Shoo.Copy !req
183. But where will
I go?Copy !req
184. I guess, you'll have to move
into the pool house.Copy !req
185. The pool house? Daddy,
I live in the pool house.Copy !req
186. There's no way
I'm giving it up
for Carlton.Copy !req
187. You want to start
paying rent?Copy !req
188. I can be out
in an hour.Copy !req
189. Will, I'm not through
with you.Copy !req
190. What you're doing
is despicable.Copy !req
191. And what you're
doing is annoying.Copy !req
192. Leave me alone.Copy !req
193. Ah-choo!Copy !req
194. Gesundheit.Copy !req
195. Just a week ago
she was Carlton's
girlfriend.Copy !req
196. Doesn't that mean
anything to you?Copy !req
197. Yes. It means
she's having
a better week.Copy !req
198. Well, Carlton's going to
put two and two together.Copy !req
199. First, Paula had the flu,
then Carlton, and now you.Copy !req
200. I think you're
giving Carlton
too much credit.Copy !req
201. I mean, come on,
he thinks x
is the movieCopy !req
202. about Malcolm
jamaal Warner's
fight for freedom.Copy !req
203. Very funny, guys. Why
don't you stop spinning?Copy !req
204. And who moved
the refrigerator
all the way over there?Copy !req
205. How are you feeling,
Carlton?Copy !req
206. Remember
the Star TrekCopy !req
207. where the insect
bored his wayCopy !req
208. through
the guy's brain?Copy !req
209. Yeah.Copy !req
210. That would feel
kind of good
right now.Copy !req
211. Ah-choo!Copy !req
212. O.K., will,
I'm on to you.Copy !req
213. Look, I've no idea
what you talking about.Copy !req
214. I'm not stupid, will.Copy !req
215. It's all coming
together—Copy !req
216. the runny nose,
the watery eyes.Copy !req
217. You just couldn't keep
your hands to yourself.Copy !req
218. Look, Carlton,
I know you sick.Copy !req
219. You probably
a little delirious.Copy !req
220. You probably had
one too manyCopy !req
221. of them
children's aspirins
or something.Copy !req
222. That piece was mine.Copy !req
223. You ain't got to get
all nasty.Copy !req
224. You shouldn't have
done it.Copy !req
225. I know, I know,
Carlton.Copy !req
226. I'm sorry, man.Copy !req
227. I shouldn't have
taken Paula out.Copy !req
228. You're right, she was coming
onto me. I couldn't resist.Copy !req
229. Paula? I was talking
about that last piece
of cheesecake.Copy !req
230. Yeah, so was I,
so was I.Copy !req
231. See, you don't know about it.
You ain't hip to it.Copy !req
232. In Philly,
we name our food,
right?Copy !req
233. See, like cheesecake
is Paula, right?Copy !req
234. And, um,
a snack pack
is boomsheeka.Copy !req
235. I can't see him,
you can.Copy !req
236. Is he buying it?Copy !req
237. You backstabbing
girlfriend-stealing
piece of rubbish.Copy !req
238. Did you really expect me
to believe you name
your food?Copy !req
239. Carlton,
I'm telling you,
it ain't how it seems.Copy !req
240. Then you didn't go out
with my girlfriend
behind my back?Copy !req
241. O.K. It's exactly
how it seems.Copy !req
242. But hey,
I didn't do it for me.Copy !req
243. I did it to for you.
I did it to save you...Copy !req
244. F-from something
terrible.Copy !req
245. Soon as I figure it out,
I'll let you know what it is.Copy !req
246. Every time
you've tried
to hurt me,Copy !req
247. I've turned
the other cheek.Copy !req
248. Well, I'm out of cheeks.Copy !req
249. What are you saying?Copy !req
250. I'm trying to say
that I can't trust you anymore.Copy !req
251. We're no longer family,
we're through.Copy !req
252. Fini, it's over.Copy !req
253. Look, Carlton,
y-you don't mean that.Copy !req
254. You'll get over it.Copy !req
255. Oh, yeah?Copy !req
256. Carlton,
who are you calling?Copy !req
257. Your mother.Copy !req
258. I know he ain't
calling my mother.Copy !req
259. Aunt vy, it's Carlton.
Call me when you get home.Copy !req
260. No, mom,
don't call him!Copy !req
261. I want to tell you,
how much I hate will's guts!Copy !req
262. He's lying!
He loves me!Copy !req
263. Your little slimer
stole my girl!Copy !req
264. You know Carlton
never had no girl!Copy !req
265. I'm glad you're out
having fun.Copy !req
266. I have to stay here
'cause God knows
what he'll steal.Copy !req
267. Give me the phone.
Get off!Copy !req
268. Hey, mom,
thanks for the sweater.Copy !req
269. You've gone
over the line, o.K.?Copy !req
270. You don't never
call a dude's mom.Copy !req
271. So it's o.K. To steal
a guy's girlfriend,Copy !req
272. as long as you don't go tell his
mommy about it.Copy !req
273. No, this is serious, man.
Even in ancient times,Copy !req
274. they would
kill your cattle,Copy !req
275. burn your village,
stone your family,Copy !req
276. but they wouldn't never
tell your mother, man.Copy !req
277. I—I did it to save youCopy !req
278. from, uh,
something you'll know.Copy !req
279. A-as soon
as I figure it out,Copy !req
280. I'll let you know.Copy !req
281. That's it! We have to
take this to the street!Copy !req
282. Aunt viv!Copy !req
283. Now, listen, as long as
you're staying in my homeCopy !req
284. you've to play by my rules.Copy !req
285. No crumbs on the carpet,
no hair in the sink,Copy !req
286. and no dressing up
in my clothes, Carlton.Copy !req
287. It was Halloween.Copy !req
288. You still haven't
returned my bustier.Copy !req
289. What are you doing here?Copy !req
290. Look, man, I don't wanna
be here, but I'm sick,Copy !req
291. and aunt viv
doesn't want me
in the house.Copy !req
292. I think you have
everything you need.Copy !req
293. And now if you'll excuse me,Copy !req
294. I'm going to spend
a quiet eveningCopy !req
295. with my radio
and Madonna.Copy !req
296. Look like
you spending the evening
with little Richard.Copy !req
297. I don't care what mom says.
You're not stayin' here.Copy !req
298. Why don't you
go stay with Paula?Copy !req
299. She asked.
Her parents wouldn't let me.Copy !req
300. She has parents?Copy !req
301. She never
introduced me to them.Copy !req
302. She told me
they were dead.Copy !req
303. Oh, I really,
really hate you!Copy !req
304. I hate you, too.Copy !req
305. Just get out of my bed!Copy !req
306. Oh, man,
nice, firm mattress,Copy !req
307. just like the one
at Paula's house.Copy !req
308. First you steal
my woman, now my bed.Copy !req
309. Let's get something
straight right now—Copy !req
310. I didn't
steal your woman.Copy !req
311. I rescued her,Copy !req
312. and she thanked me,Copy !req
313. over and over
and over...Copy !req
314. alright,
stop singing!Copy !req
315. Over and over and over!Copy !req
316. Why don't you act
like an adult?Copy !req
317. Why don't you
look like one?Copy !req
318. Well, obviously there's
no reasoning with you.Copy !req
319. Just stay on your side
of the room
and I'll stay on mineCopy !req
320. fine! This is
my side of the room.Copy !req
321. Hey, that's not fair!Copy !req
322. Guess I'll watch
a little TV,Copy !req
323. seeing as how it's
on my side of the room.Copy !req
324. Yo, where's the remote?Copy !req
325. On my side of the room.Copy !req
326. Well, toss it here.Copy !req
327. Whatever you say.Copy !req
328. Go get it!Copy !req
329. Make me.Copy !req
330. I cut my eye!Copy !req
331. Will, you o.K.?Copy !req
332. Hyah!Copy !req
333. Thank you
for the night off.Copy !req
334. Can I get you
anything else?Copy !req
335. No, get out of here,
you knucklehead.Copy !req
336. Goodnight.Copy !req
337. Philip,
I want that sonogram!Copy !req
338. Yes!Copy !req
339. There's nothing here.Copy !req
340. It's got to be! We've
searched the whole house.Copy !req
341. What if it's on him?Copy !req
342. Ah! Found it!Copy !req
343. You found
the sonogram?Copy !req
344. No, that little
chocolate bunny
from easter.Copy !req
345. I've been looking
all over for it.Copy !req
346. Philip, honey, at least
take off the foil.Copy !req
347. My head is killing me.Copy !req
348. My throat hurts.Copy !req
349. Now my ears are ringing.Copy !req
350. Mine, too.Copy !req
351. Hi, this is hilary.Copy !req
352. Roses are red,
violets are blue,Copy !req
353. I'm not in so...Copy !req
354. So leave a...Copy !req
355. Hi, honey, it's Paula.Copy !req
356. I just heard you're sick.Copy !req
357. My poor little baby.Copy !req
358. This is all my fault, isn't it?Copy !req
359. It's for me, man.Copy !req
360. No, it's not, it's for me.Copy !req
361. I wish I could be there
with you.Copy !req
362. I bet I know
how to make you feel better.Copy !req
363. First I'd nibble
on your left ear.Copy !req
364. Then I'd bite you
on your neck.Copy !req
365. Then I'd...Copy !req
366. Oops! There's my other line.Copy !req
367. Hello?Copy !req
368. Now look what you did,
you idiot.Copy !req
369. You made me miss her call.Copy !req
370. That wasn't for you.
It was for me.Copy !req
371. Carlton, give it up, man.
She dumped you.Copy !req
372. You're like prince Charles.
You've got the royal flush.Copy !req
373. I'm gonna beat your butt.Copy !req
374. Yeah, what are you
going to do?Copy !req
375. Jump up and bang your head
against it?Copy !req
376. - Come on. Put your Dukes up.
- Come on, boy.Copy !req
377. And there's more
where that came from,Copy !req
378. maybe not.Copy !req
379. Hey, Carlton.Copy !req
380. I'm going
to do somethingCopy !req
381. that's totally
outside my nature,Copy !req
382. and I'm going to take
Uncle Phil's advice.Copy !req
383. You're going to go
play on the freeway?Copy !req
384. No, man.Copy !req
385. I'm going to be
straight up with you.Copy !req
386. I'll tell you everything
that happenedCopy !req
387. between me and Paula.Copy !req
388. First time you
brought her over here,Copy !req
389. she was so fine.Copy !req
390. I wanted
y'all to break up.Copy !req
391. That's very honest,
will,Copy !req
392. but I'm still mad!Copy !req
393. I guess I'll
have to live with it.Copy !req
394. Wait.Copy !req
395. Th-there's more.Copy !req
396. I told her
you had tuberculosis.Copy !req
397. You what?Copy !req
398. I—I don't know, man.Copy !req
399. I'm sorry, man.Copy !req
400. I can't believe
you did that!Copy !req
401. Well, I'm going to dig
way, down, deep inside,Copy !req
402. and maybe in time I'll
be able to forgive you.Copy !req
403. Wait.Copy !req
404. Th-there's more.Copy !req
405. I told her
about your hand puppet.Copy !req
406. You told her
about binky?Copy !req
407. I'll kill you!Copy !req
408. No, I won't.
I'm bigger than that.Copy !req
409. I guess
I'll be honest, too.Copy !req
410. You remember when
lateesha suddenly
stopped calling you?Copy !req
411. Yeah.Copy !req
412. Well, I told her
you worshipped Satan.Copy !req
413. A-a-alright.
Fair is fair.Copy !req
414. I'm a man.
I can live with that.Copy !req
415. Wait.Copy !req
416. There's more.Copy !req
417. You notice
how Ashley has been
acting very funnyCopy !req
418. around you lately?Copy !req
419. Yeah.Copy !req
420. Well, I told her
you shave your legs.Copy !req
421. What kind
of monster are you?Copy !req
422. Sorry, will.Copy !req
423. I was jealous
of your relationships.Copy !req
424. No, no,
that's unforgivable!Copy !req
425. That's
totally unforgivable!Copy !req
426. Uh, wait.Copy !req
427. There's more.Copy !req
428. You remember
your friend jazz?Copy !req
429. Oh, my God.
What did you do?Copy !req
430. You know that
funky smell coming
from the basement?Copy !req
431. Psych!Copy !req
432. This honesty thing
feels great.Copy !req
433. What do you say
we tell GeoffreyCopy !req
434. why his citizenship
never came through?Copy !req
435. Mmm, this
smells delicious.Copy !req
436. You've really
outdone yourself, mom.Copy !req
437. Great oatmeal, mom.Copy !req
438. Thank you.Copy !req
439. Uh, a-aunt viv?Copy !req
440. I-in keeping
with this—this
new honesty thing,Copy !req
441. th-this stuff kind of
tastes like drywallCopy !req
442. with raisins in it.Copy !req
443. And, Uncle Phil,
you really shouldn't
wear silk no more,Copy !req
444. 'cause like when
big folks wear silk—Copy !req
445. well, since we're all being
honest with each other,Copy !req
446. I'm bloody sickCopy !req
447. of the two of you
going through
my drawers.Copy !req
448. Here's your envelope.Copy !req
449. I hope you get
what you want.Copy !req
450. Well, keeping with
all this honesty,Copy !req
451. I really wanna see
what we're having.Copy !req
452. You mean
this isn't oatmeal?Copy !req
453. I want to know,
too, Philip.Copy !req
454. Let's look
at that sonogram.Copy !req
455. Oh, my God!Copy !req
456. What is it?
Boy or girl?Copy !req
457. This isn't
a sonogram.Copy !req
458. It's a bill
for $25,000!Copy !req
459. This baby's
costing me
a fortune!Copy !req
460. Congratulations!Copy !req
461. You're having a hilary!Copy !req
462. You found
the sonogram?Copy !req
463. No, the chocolate
easter bunny.Copy !req
464. I've been looking
at it since—Copy !req
465. you found
the sonogram?Copy !req
466. No, it's that little
easter chocolate bunny.Copy !req
467. I've been looking—Copy !req
468. you found
the sonogram?Copy !req
469. No, it's that little
chocolate bunny
from easter.Copy !req
470. I've been looking at it,
looking at it all week—Copy !req
471. it's the little
chocolate easter bunny!Copy !req
472. come on, Carlton, you can't keep
moping around forever.Copy !req
473. It's not like
you and Paula
broke up yesterday.Copy !req
474. You've had
the whole weekend
to get over it.Copy !req
475. Will, sometimes
you're so insensitive.Copy !req
476. Love isn't something
you can turn on and off.Copy !req
477. Carlton, I still think you're
blowing this whole thing
out of proportion.Copy !req
478. Now, I've seen Paula,Copy !req
479. and I don't see
what the attraction was.Copy !req
480. What are you talking about?Copy !req
481. She's a beautiful,
intelligent girlCopy !req
482. with a dynamite
body.Copy !req
483. Yeah, I know.Copy !req
484. I don't see
what attracted her—Copy !req
485. congratulations!
You're having a hilary!Copy !req
486. You found
the sonogram?Copy !req
487. No, the little
chocolate easter bunny.Copy !req
488. I've been looking at it—Copy !req
489. you found
the sonogram?Copy !req
490. No, it's that little
easter chocolate bunny.Copy !req
491. I've been looking for—Copy !req
492. you found
the sonogram?Copy !req
493. No, it's that little chocolate
bunny from easter.Copy !req
494. I've been looking at it,
looking at it all week—Copy !req
495. it's the little
chocolate easter bunny!Copy !req
496. Hey, Paula, how are
you doing? It's will.Copy !req
497. Um, look,
about our date tonight...Copy !req
498. I'll rock your world.Copy !req
499. Hey, Paula, how are
you doing? It's will.Copy !req
500. Um, look,
about our date tonight...Copy !req
501. I'll rock your world.Copy !req