The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air 3x11

Directed by Shelley Jensen

Vanessa Williams as Danny Mitchell • Don Yesso as Tony • Cynthia Szigeti as Mrs. Griffin • Chris Williams as Paramedic #1 • Tom Williams as Baby (voice)

At Vivian's Lamaze class, Will cozies up to a pregnant sportswriter, who takes him to a game - and delivers more than just fun.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. No, no, don't! Please don't shoot!

2. Aah!

3. What's going on in here?

4. Oh, my God. Geoffrey, don't move.

5. There's a dart on your forehead.

6. Really? I hadn't noticed.

7. Look, Carlton, Geoffrey's been shot.

8. Cool.

9. You people don't pay me enough for this.

10. Quiet, Geoffrey, you're dead.

11. Then you couldn't possibly feel me do this.

12. Ow!

13. Well, one down, three to go.

14. Is anybody going to tell me what's going on?

15. We're playing whodunnit. One of us is the killer.

16. And we've to find out who it is.

17. I say, we already know.

18. You and I were together in the other room.

19. Now Geoffrey's worm chow.

20. So that leaves only one suspect.

21. Honey, I'm home!

22. Hey, Lucy.

23. Ethel, hello.

24. Look, it's little Ricky.

25. Y'all should go check outside.

26. Somebody trampled through aunt viv's garden.

27. Nice try.

28. You got Geoffrey, but you won't get me alone.

29. Come on, Ashley, we're going to the bathroom.

30. Oh, God!

31. What is he talking about? I didn't kill nobody.

32. Yeah, and George Bush is really looking forward

33. to playing with his grandchildren.

34. Man, this is whack.

35. Don't nobody believe me.

36. Oh, but I bet you do, right?

37. Good aunt Vivian. Good aunt Vivian.

38. Here, beg for a Scooby snack.

39. Will, cut it out.

40. I'm trying to practice my breathing

41. for lamaze class.

42. I don't know, aunt viv.

43. Seems to me all that heavy breathing's

44. what got you in this mess in the first place.

45. Hey, hey, hey, hey.

46. Hello, sweetheart. Hi, will.

47. Hey, Uncle Phil.

48. You ready for your lamaze class?

49. Philip, you mean, you actually want to take me?

50. I was waiting for some lame excuse.

51. Last week you said your dog died.

52. He did.

53. Philip, he died 20 years ago.

54. Still hurts.

55. Hey, hey, hey. Come on, aunt viv.

56. This is the most straight-up, honest dude I know.

57. The day he lies, may all my hair fall out.

58. Thank you, will.

59. We don't want to be late.

60. Let me get the bags.

61. Oh! Aah! Ohh!

62. Philip, what's the matter?

63. My back went out.

64. If I could lay down on the couch

65. for a couple of hours, you know...

66. Oh...

67. My God, is my hairline receding?

68. Come on, Philip, sit down.

69. Now, will, we all know

70. your Uncle's got back problems.

71. Now, relax, sweetheart.

72. I'll go to class again alone.

73. Would you take my duffel bag out to the car?

74. That's fine, aunt viv.

75. Ohhh...

76. Ohhh...

77. Ohhh...

78. Ohhh...

79. Ohhh...

80. Ahh...

81. Yes! Ha ha ha ha!

82. Whoo!

83. Freeze, bubble butt!

84. This could get ugly.

85. What do you have to say for yourself?

86. Uh, uh...

87. Uh, uh.

88. Good answer, admiral stockdale.

89. Philip, this is very important to me.

90. After all, you missed the births

91. of your other children.

92. Fathers weren't allowed in the delivery room back then.

93. They are now. And I'd like you to share this experience.

94. Well, I intend to. I'll be pacing in the waiting room,

95. where a man's supposed to be.

96. Fine. If that's how you feel, forget it!

97. Vivian!

98. Mmm mmm mmm.

99. And what's your problem?

100. Don't be trying to make up with me now.

101. I'm all pregnant. My feet, my back, and stuff hurt,

102. and you being all insensitive.

103. Ah, here's our little mother.

104. There we go, madam.

105. A nice glass of milk.

106. Got to keep our strength up, eh?

107. Back off, Geoffrey.

108. Oh, pop a midol.

109. Oh, Geoffrey, I'm sorry.

110. I'm just upset with Mr. banks, that's all.

111. He refuses to be my lamaze coach.

112. So, um, I'm going to need one of you kids

113. to go with me.

114. Sorry. Homework.

115. Tennis lesson.

116. I just don't want to.

117. Madam, are you sure you want another one?

118. Ohh.

119. Wait a minute, here. Look, what is the matter with y'all?

120. This is your mother. She's having a baby.

121. Look, aunt viv, if I was one of your kids,

122. I'd be short with a square head...

123. But I'd be more than happy to be your coach.

124. Oh, aunt viv,

125. it was a joke. You can't take a joke?

126. Come on, will. I'm gonna be doing all the work.

127. All you have to do is cheer me on.

128. Well, that's cool.

129. will, come on, stop it.

130. This is a classroom, not a delivery room.

131. There's nothing here to embarrass you.

132. Come on.

133. Ha!

134. Aunt viv, you naked yet?

135. Will, would you calm down?

136. No one is going to get naked. Come on.

137. Whoa, whoa, aunt viv, who is she?

138. Man, she is all there.

139. She's fine.

140. She's one of the fat boys.

141. Hi, Danny.

142. Hey, viv.

143. How are you?

144. Hey, can you do me a favor?

145. I have not seen my feet since lent.

146. Can you tell me, do my shoes match?

147. Uh, no.

148. Oh, damn.

149. Well, I see Phil stood you up again, huh?

150. Who's the designated hitter?

151. Oh, this is my nephew.

152. Oh... How you doing? I'm will.

153. Danny Mitchell.

154. So, uh, guess your husband

155. will be showing up any minute, huh?

156. No, he's in Mexico.

157. Oh, on vacation?

158. No, on his secretary,

159. but don't worry.

160. He's not having a good time.

161. I filled his thong with Ben-gay.

162. Ooh.

163. Remind me to stay on your good side, Danny.

164. What's so funny?

165. A dude named Danny Mitchell's

166. my favorite sportswriter.

167. You know, I could introduce you.

168. Word?

169. Hey, how you doing?

170. Whoa, whoa. Wait.

171. You're the Danny Mitchell?

172. Mm-hmm.

173. Charles barkley on the radio

174. talked about him and Danny

175. rumbling in the parking lot after the laker game.

176. He won't show up, that wuss.

177. Alrighty, coaches, let's get our mommies

178. in a comfy position.

179. Will.

180. What?

181. Oh! I'm sorry, aunt viv.

182. You alright?

183. You need some help there, Danny?

184. Why, you got a forklift?

185. Uh, will...

186. What?

187. Aren't you forgetting something?

188. I'm sorry, aunt viv.

189. Hey, thanks a lot.

190. I'll help you, Vivian.

191. Now, I apologize.

192. You were right.

193. I have a responsibility, and I need to be here tonight.

194. You just don't want to sleep on the couch, Philip.

195. Well, I hate sleeping on that thing.

196. It's all lumpy.

197. Remember, partners, lots of touching and hugging.

198. Show each other how you really feel.

199. Ow!

200. I showed up, didn't I?

201. Oh, yeah, for all the wrong reasons.

202. What is your problem?

203. Having a baby is spiritual and wonderful and miraculous.

204. It doesn't sound miraculous. It sounds yucky.

205. You should have thought about that seven months ago

206. before that second bottle of wine.

207. Wait a minute.

208. Ow! Vivian.

209. Vivian, wait a minute now.

210. Vivian, come on.

211. Uncle Phil, how's your back?

212. Are they always like this?

213. Oh, no, sometimes they fight.

214. You better go out.

215. They might need a ref.

216. I'll stay here and help you out.

217. Oh, great.

218. Will, I guess I owe you one.

219. You know what? I am covering a laker game on Saturday night.

220. You want to watch from the press box?

221. From the press box?

222. O.K., I can't breathe.

223. Oh! Will, will, will!

224. O.K., come on. Lie back here.

225. Take it slow.

226. Breathe deeply. Breathe deeply.

227. O.K., focus. Focus with me.

228. Hoo hoo hoo. Hoo hoo hoo.

229. Hee hee hee. Hee hee hee.

230. Heck of a game, huh?

231. Can I get you anything else?

232. No. Thanks, tone. This is fine.

233. Nothing for you, will?

234. No, thanks.

235. I'm still tripping over that game.

236. Oh, it was hype!

237. "Worthy passes to vlade.

238. "Vlade back to Byron Scott.

239. "Scott back to vlade.

240. "Vlade gets the ball back to worthy.

241. "Worthy gets his stuffed pup!

242. "The Lakers win the game!

243. The Lakers win the game!"

244. You know what the high point was for me, huh?

245. When you punched Jack Nicholson in the nose

246. for touching your stomach?

247. Ooh... Ooh. Indigestion.

248. I guess I shouldn't have had that third chili dog, huh?

249. So what's with this free-trade agreement?

250. They're going to set it up demographically, or what?

251. Tony, why aren't you driving?

252. 'Cause nobody else is. The parking lot's all jammed up.

253. You going to eat those fries?

254. Uh-oh.

255. Why? What's the matter?

256. Uh, my water broke.

257. That's cool.

258. We got another one right here in the fridge.

259. No, no.

260. I mean, I think I'm having the baby.

261. I just had the car cleaned.

262. Can't you hold it a couple of hours?

263. Aah!

264. I think that means no!

265. Tone, do something, man!

266. You think I got time to scotchgard?

267. The woman's having a baby, you idiot!

268. Hey, I have feelings, you know.

269. I'm sorry, tone. Hey, tone!

270. Look, will, will, will, I need you. Stay.

271. Alright. It's cool, Danny.

272. I know exactly what to do.

273. Help!

274. Help!

275. Help!

276. Help!

277. Damn, you. I said help.

278. Hey, is there a doctor in the parking lot?

279. I'm a doctor.

280. Oh, thank God. Look, doc.

281. I got a lady in here having a baby.

282. You gonna have to climb over that car.

283. That's good. Alright, come on.

284. Wait, look out. Don't, man.

285. Is there a doctor for the doctor?

286. Hey, how's it going, Danny?

287. Oh, not too bad.

288. It's kind of like

289. trying to squeeze della Reese out of a hyundai!

290. Alright, look, I'm calling 911.

291. 911!

292. 911!

293. Don't bother. We're in wall-to-wall traffic.

294. No ambulance can get through this.

295. Aah!

296. Aah!

297. Aah!

298. Aah! Aah!

299. Wait. Here comes another one.

300. This time, you better time me.

301. Alright.

302. Aah!

303. Aah! Aah!

304. Oh, my God! They're 10 seconds apart. You're having a baby.

305. Oh, you think?

306. Alright, alright...

307. Danny, look, I know what to do.

308. I'll call aunt viv. That's it. She'll know what to do.

309. Hello.

310. Hi, will.

311. Slow down. I can't understand you.

312. No, I don't know where mom is.

313. What's the problem?

314. Sure. Look, will, I don't have time for your little pranks.

315. I have a date.

316. What are you doing?

317. I'm not even playing that stupid murder game,

318. so... Look, don't aim that thing at me.

319. Hilary, are you there?

320. Aah!

321. I hope you're happy.

322. I'm gonna have a big, ugly red circle in the middle of my forehead.

323. I'll look just like Carlton's yearbook picture.

324. Hilary! Don't hang up!

325. Danny, what are we going to do?

326. Oh, this is unbelievable.

327. I'm going through all this in the back of a limo

328. because of what went on in the back of my jeep.

329. I got to get me a jeep.

330. Hey, look... Look, Danny,

331. can you do me, like—like, one real big favor?

332. Sure, what is it?

333. Please don't have this baby now!

334. Relax, relax.

335. I took the classes. I read the books.

336. I can handle it. Yeah.

337. I can't take it! I can't take it! I can't take it!

338. Help!

339. Sorry, buddy, there ain't no doctor out here!

340. I don't need a doctor! I need an exorcist!

341. No!

342. Will, will, there's a bottle of dom perignon

343. over in the bar over there. Get it.

344. I don't think so, Danny.

345. You seem like you might be kind of a mean drunk.

346. I don't want to drink it.

347. I want you to smack me over the head with it.

348. What?

349. Just until I pass out.

350. Aah! Oh, this baby's on its way.

351. I think it's bringing luggage.

352. Aah!

353. It can't be. You've only been in labor for 10 minutes.

354. Tell him. He's coming.

355. Oh, get out of my way.

356. Danny, where are you going?

357. If I run really fast, I can get back to the forum

358. and deliver on the floor of the ladies' room with some dignity.

359. Danny, wait. Alright, you win.

360. Where's that champagne bottle?

361. Right there.

362. Guess who.

363. Not now. We got an emergency.

364. Hint— Dr. finklebaum.

365. You a doctor, man?

366. Yeah.

367. I love you, man. I love you. Go ahead. Go on.

368. What's the problem here?

369. I broke a nail. What the hell do you think?

370. Alright, alright. Lie back.

371. Just relax, Danny. He's here to help you.

372. Tone, what took you so long?

373. I was looking for a doctor. I found an md license plate.

374. I yanked the guy out of his car and realized md stands for Mike ditka.

375. The car he threw me against belonged to Dr. finklebaum.

376. Is this the lady having a baby?

377. Yeah. We got some sodas in the fridge.

378. I called him from finklebaum's car.

379. I called him from ditka's car.

380. Come on. We got some brews, a little bit of malt duck.

381. Aah... Aah. Get this kid out of me!

382. I got to make a phone call.

383. I suddenly miss my mother.

384. Um...

385. Well, Danny, uh, thanks for a wonderful evening.

386. I'll call you.

387. Oh, no, will, don't leave me.

388. Alright, Danny, Danny, I'll stay here, and I'll help you focus.

389. Focus? I don't want to focus. I want drugs.

390. Get out in the parking lot and score!

391. Here we go.

392. It's Danny, isn't it?

393. Bear down.

394. I know. Look, Danny,

395. think of it as the world series, alright?

396. Alamor's rounding third. Here comes the throw. Slide, Danny, slide!

397. Here comes your baby, Danny.

398. Push.

399. Aah! Aah!

400. Here you are, Danny. A beautiful, healthy boy.

401. You want to hold him?

402. No, thanks. I'll wait till somebody

403. run him through a car wash, or something.

404. Come here, man.

405. Calm him down.

406. Hey...

407. it's been one hell of a night, huh, Danny?

408. And, look, I went and saved the best for last.

409. Yes, I did.

410. Yes, I did.

411. Yo, yo, yo! Anybody home?

412. Chubba!

413. Ow! Get off my head!

414. Uncle Phil, what are you doing sleeping on the couch?

415. My chiropractor recommended it.

416. As you know, I have a separation in my lower lumbar,

417. and the couch is perfect to—

418. she threw you out.

419. You got that right.

420. I hear you had a pretty full night.

421. Oh, man.

422. I got to tell you, when Danny went into labor,

423. I was trying to get out of there.

424. I heard that.

425. But then it was, like, all of a sudden,

426. there was a little, alive, wiggly thing, you know,

427. with 10 fingers and 10 toes and everything.

428. It was so small.

429. Whew!

430. I was the first person the baby saw...

431. You know, upside down.

432. Sounds like quite an experience, will.

433. It was.

434. Whew!

435. I'm going to go give Danny a call at the hospital,

436. see how little Jackie Robinson Mitchell's doing.

437. Goodnight, Uncle Phil.

438. Goodnight, will.

439. Well, bet you feel like a big dope, huh?

440. Mm-hmm...

441. Vivian...

442. I made a decision.

443. I really want to be in the room when you give birth,

444. not just because you want me there,

445. but... Because I want to be the first person

446. our baby sees...

447. Upside down.

448. Oh, Philip, that's a beautiful thing to say,

449. but I'm afraid, honey,

450. that I'm going to have to kill you anyway.

451. Oh, no, viv. No, Vivian! Aah!

452. Aah!

453. And, look, I went and saved the best for last.

454. Whoops! Oh!