1. WILL, IS THAT ALL YOU'RE TAKING
FOR THE ENTIRE CHRISTMAS VACATION?
Copy !req
2. NO, MAN, THESE ARE
JUST MY HAIR PRODUCTS.
Copy !req
3. WHAT ABOUT YOUR SKI CLOTHES?
Copy !req
4. CARLTON, SKIING IS FOR
WHITE GUYS NAMED SVEN...
Copy !req
5. AND O.J. SIMPSON.
Copy !req
6. WILL, YOU DEPRIVED
PRODUCT OF THE GHETTO,
Copy !req
7. SKIING IS AN EXTREMELY
EXHILARATING SPORT.
Copy !req
8. WHAT IS EXHILARATING ABOUT
STRAPPING TWO STICKS ON YOUR FEET,
Copy !req
9. FLYING DOWN A HILL
AT 90 MILES AN HOUR,
Copy !req
10. AND SLAMMING INTO A TREE?
Copy !req
11. THIS IS L.A., MAN. IF I
WANTED MY HEAD CRACKED,
Copy !req
12. I COULD STAR IN THE
NEXT RODNEY KING VIDEO.
Copy !req
13. FORGET IT, ASHLEY, I AM NOT GETTING
YOU A STUN GUN FOR CHRISTMAS.
Copy !req
14. I'M NOT REALLY GOING TO
USE IT ON COUSIN BOBBY.
Copy !req
15. I JUST WANT TO
SCARE HIM WITH IT.
Copy !req
16. LOOK, WE HAVEN'T SEEN HIM
SINCE AUNT JANICE'S WEDDING.
Copy !req
17. MAYBE WE REMEMBER
HIM WORSE THAN HE IS.
Copy !req
18. YEAH, RIGHT. AND MAYBE
IT WAS BARBIE'S IDEA
Copy !req
19. TO CATCH THAT TAN
IN THE MICROWAVE.
Copy !req
20. ALL RIGHT, SINCE WE'RE ALL
GONNA TAKE SEPARATE CARS
Copy !req
21. TO THE AIRPORT,
Copy !req
22. I THOUGHT I BETTER GIVE
YOU YOUR TICKETS NOW.
Copy !req
23. THERE YOU ARE.
THERE YOU ARE, BABY.
Copy !req
24. MM-HMM. THANK YOU.
Copy !req
25. DADDY, THESE TICKETS
ARE ALL WRONG.
Copy !req
26. THEY LOOK ALL RIGHT
TO ME, SWEETHEART.
Copy !req
27. BUT, DADDY, THEY'RE C...
Copy !req
28. C...
Copy !req
29. COACH.
Copy !req
30. BETTER WATCH IT, HIL.
Copy !req
31. NEXT THING YOU KNOW,
YOU'LL BE RIDING A B-B-BUS.
Copy !req
32. CAPTIONING MADE
POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.
Copy !req
33. THE REAL ESTATE AGENT
ASSURED MR. BANKS
Copy !req
34. THAT THIS CABIN
SLEEPS 15 PEOPLE.
Copy !req
35. WELL, THERE ARE 13
OF US AND ONLY 4 BEDS.
Copy !req
36. NOW, I DON'T KNOW HOW
YOU DO THINGS IN ENGLAND,
Copy !req
37. BUT THIS FAMILY
AIN'T THAT CLOSE.
Copy !req
38. ALL I KNOW IS LESTER
AND I HAVE BEEN SAVING UP
Copy !req
39. FOR THIS TRIP ALL YEAR.
Copy !req
40. WE ARE NOT SLEEPING
ON THE FLOOR.
Copy !req
41. BABY, WE'RE ON VACATION.
Copy !req
42. WHEREVER WE LIE DOWN, WE
AREN'T GONNA BE SLEEPING.
Copy !req
43. LESTER, HOW MANY
TIMES I GOT TO TELL YOU
Copy !req
44. TO CUT DOWN ON THAT VITAMIN E?
Copy !req
45. I AM NOT A MACHINE.
Copy !req
46. WELL, I AM. YOU GOING TO
LET ME ROCK YOUR WORLD?
Copy !req
47. GET A GRIP ON YOURSELF, LESTER.
Copy !req
48. DON'T ENCOURAGE HIM.
Copy !req
49. MOM! MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Copy !req
50. WILL, WHAT IS THAT
UNDER YOUR NOSE?
Copy !req
51. OH, I'M SORRY.
Copy !req
52. OH, THAT'S MY MUSTACHE, MOM.
Copy !req
53. YEAH, I KNOW... YOU HATE IT.
Copy !req
54. NO, NO, BABY. IT LOOKS GREAT.
Copy !req
55. EVERYTHING IS GREAT. EVEN YOUR
AUNT HELEN'S MUSTACHE IS GREAT.
Copy !req
56. WELL, EVERYTHING IS GREAT?
Copy !req
57. MOM, YOU... YOU OK?
Copy !req
58. BABY, LISTEN, THESE
DAYS, I'M SEEING LIFE
Copy !req
59. IN A WHOLE NEW WONDERFUL WAY.
Copy !req
60. THIS CUP IS NOT HALF
EMPTY. IT'S HALF FULL.
Copy !req
61. IS IT HALF FULL OF SCOTCH?
Copy !req
62. DIVAS!
Copy !req
63. JANICE!
Copy !req
64. JANICE, FRANK, HOW
ARE THE NEWLYWEDS?
Copy !req
65. COULDN'T BE...
Copy !req
66. SHE'S JUST GOT A STOMACH BUG.
Copy !req
67. I BETTER GO CHECK ON HER.
Copy !req
68. WELL, FRANK, HOW ARE YOU?
IT SURE IS GOOD TO SEE YOU.
Copy !req
69. REALLY? I THOUGHT YOU SAID,
Copy !req
70. "NEXT TIME I SEE THAT WHITE
BOY, I HOPE HE'S UNDER A BUS."
Copy !req
71. THAT WAS JUST A
FIGURE OF SPEECH.
Copy !req
72. NOW, COME ON. GIVE
BIG SISTER VY A HUG.
Copy !req
73. YOU KNOW, MOM,
THAT WAS REAL SWEET.
Copy !req
74. HEY, SOMEBODY GET AN
EXORCIST ON THE PHONE.
Copy !req
75. LOOK, WE DIDN'T
COME TO A SKI RESORT
Copy !req
76. TO JUST STAND AROUND AND TALK.
Copy !req
77. NOW, I'M GONNA GO UPSTAIRS,
GET INTO MY SKI CLOTHES,
Copy !req
78. PUT ON MY BOOTS,
AND GO SHOPPING.
Copy !req
79. WELL, I BETTER TAKE OUR
BAGS UP TO OUR ROOM.
Copy !req
80. I GOT NEWS, FOR YOU, PHILIP.
Copy !req
81. THIS IS YOUR ROOM.
Copy !req
82. EXCUSE ME?
Copy !req
83. THERE'S ONLY FOUR BEDS LEFT
AND BOBBY GOT THE LAST ONE.
Copy !req
84. BUT FOR 10 BUCKS, YOU
CAN USE MY SLEEPING BAG.
Copy !req
85. I'M SURE IF YOU CALL
THE REAL ESTATE AGENT,
Copy !req
86. HE'LL STRAIGHTEN
THIS WHOLE THING OUT.
Copy !req
87. I NEVER GUARANTEED
ANYONE ANYTHING.
Copy !req
88. THAT'S MY MOTTO...
Copy !req
89. NEVER GUARANTEE ANYONE ANYTHING,
Copy !req
90. AND BEWARE OF CROSS-EYED WOMEN.
Copy !req
91. WHAT DO YOU INTEND
TO DO ABOUT THIS?
Copy !req
92. LOOK, FOLKS, I'D REALLY LIKE TO
HELP YOU, BUT EVERYTHING'S RENTED.
Copy !req
93. THERE'S NOT AN EMPTY
BED IN THE WHOLE STATE.
Copy !req
94. I GUESS THOSE CROSS-EYED
WOMEN ARE DOING SOMETHING RIGHT.
Copy !req
95. ENJOY.
Copy !req
96. LOOK, IT'S CHRISTMAS. WE'RE
TOGETHER, WE'RE HEALTHY,
Copy !req
97. IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
Copy !req
98. VIVIAN'S RIGHT. YOU
ONLY LIVE LIFE ONCE.
Copy !req
99. I SAY GO FOR THE GUSTO.
Copy !req
100. COME ON. LET'S HIT THE SLOPES.
Copy !req
101. NOW, WAIT A MINUTE, MOM.
Copy !req
102. I DON'T KNOW ABOUT
THIS WHOLE GUSTO THING.
Copy !req
103. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO SKI.
Copy !req
104. WELL, YES, I DO.
Copy !req
105. ROBERT TAUGHT ME.
Copy !req
106. OH, WELL... WELL, EXCUSE ME.
Copy !req
107. WOULD YOU LIKE TO
TELL ME WHO ROBERT IS?
Copy !req
108. ROBERT WATSON.
HE'S A FRIEND OF MINE.
Copy !req
109. WHAT DO YOU MEAN, FRIEND?
YOU MEAN, LIKE, FRIEND,
Copy !req
110. OR FRIEND?
Copy !req
111. WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT LATER, BABY.
Copy !req
112. RIGHT NOW, THE
SLOPES ARE WAITING.
Copy !req
113. HA HA!
Copy !req
114. BESIDES, HONEY, I WANT
YOU TO SEE MY MOVES.
Copy !req
115. UH, HEY, WAIT.
HOLD IT. HEY, HEY!
Copy !req
116. HEY, HAS ROBERT SEEN YOUR MOVES?
Copy !req
117. COME ON, PHIL, WE GOT TIME
Copy !req
118. TO GET A GOOD 2 HOURS
OF SKIING IN BEFORE DINNER.
Copy !req
119. WELL, HOLD IT RIGHT
THERE, JEAN-CLAUDE.
Copy !req
120. I HOPE YOU'RE PLANNING TO
TAKE SOME SKIING LESSONS.
Copy !req
121. I DON'T NEED LESSONS.
I KNOW HOW TO SKI.
Copy !req
122. JUST KEEP HIM COMFORTABLE.
Copy !req
123. FORGET COMFORTABLE.
Copy !req
124. HE'S LUCKY I'M
KEEPING HIM AT ALL.
Copy !req
125. DON'T YOU EVER SCARE
ME LIKE THAT AGAIN.
Copy !req
126. DADDY, WHEN YOU WERE
ROLLING DOWN THAT BIG HILL,
Copy !req
127. YOU LOOKED JUST LIKE GUMBY.
Copy !req
128. YEAH, UNCLE LES, AND YOU
SOUNDED LIKE PATTY LaBELLE.
Copy !req
129. AUNT JANICE, YOU DON'T
LOOK LIKE YOU FEEL TOO WELL.
Copy !req
130. MAYBE YOU SHOULD GO SHOPPING.
Copy !req
131. WHAT'S THE MATTER, HONEY?
Copy !req
132. YOU'RE NOT PREGNANT, ARE YOU?
Copy !req
133. IT'S A POSSIBILITY.
Copy !req
134. OH! OH!
Copy !req
135. OH, JANICE, THAT'S WONDERFUL.
Copy !req
136. OH, BABY, THAT'S GREAT.
Copy !req
137. I COULDN'T BE HAPPIER!
Copy !req
138. YOU COULDN'T?
Copy !req
139. WELL, LISTEN, NOW,
Copy !req
140. WHEN THE LOVE BETWEEN
TWO PEOPLE IS STRONG ENOUGH,
Copy !req
141. WELL, THAT LOVE
WILL CONQUER ALL.
Copy !req
142. OOH!
Copy !req
143. THIS ROBERT MUST
HAVE A MAGIC WAND.
Copy !req
144. OK...
Copy !req
145. THIS IS GOING TO BE
A GREAT CHRISTMAS.
Copy !req
146. AUNT VY'S IN LOVE...
Copy !req
147. JANICE IS GOING
TO HAVE A BABY...
Copy !req
148. SHH! KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN.
Copy !req
149. FRANK DOESN'T KNOW YET.
Copy !req
150. I'M NOT EVEN SURE.
Copy !req
151. OH, WELL, GET A HOME
PREGNANCY TEST.
Copy !req
152. ALL YOU DO IS FILL
A LITTLE TUBE WITH...
Copy !req
153. WELL, YOU KNOW.
Copy !req
154. IF IT TURNS BLUE, YOU'RE
PREGNANT, IF IT DOESN'T, YOU'RE NOT.
Copy !req
155. OH, GROW UP.
Copy !req
156. HERE WE ARE IN THE
LOVELY STATE OF UTAH.
Copy !req
157. DON'T ASK ME WHY.
Copy !req
158. ONLY BLACK PEOPLE I'VE SEEN
Copy !req
159. HAVE BEEN IN THE RAY
CHARLES PEPSI COMMERCIAL.
Copy !req
160. YOU'RE KIDDING.
Copy !req
161. EVERY TIME I TURN AROUND,
I SEE A BLACK PERSON.
Copy !req
162. SO, SO, SO... DID YOU
WHIZ IN THE TUBE?
Copy !req
163. OH, IT'S UPSTAIRS. I'M AFRAID
TO LOOK AT IT BY MYSELF.
Copy !req
164. I WANT ALL OF YOU GUYS
TO SHARE THIS WITH ME.
Copy !req
165. COME ON, GIRL.
Copy !req
166. THIS IS A PREGNANCY TEST,
NOT AN ORDER OF NACHOS.
Copy !req
167. CAN I HAVE EVERYONE'S
ATTENTION, PLEASE?
Copy !req
168. IN HONOR OF THIS RARE
AND SPECIAL OCCASION,
Copy !req
169. I'VE COMPILED A
SPECIAL HOLIDAY MEDLEY,
Copy !req
170. AND IT GOES A LITTLE
SOMETHING LIKE THIS.
Copy !req
171. OW!
Copy !req
172. HOW ABOUT SOME REAL MUSIC?
Copy !req
173. LET'S SEE WHAT'S ON THE RADIO.
Copy !req
174. OH, HONEY! PHILIP AND I
Copy !req
175. USED TO TEAR UP THE
DANCE FLOOR ON THIS SONG.
Copy !req
176. WHAT DO YOU MEAN, USED TO?
Copy !req
177. HEY, COME ON, ONE-LEG DADDY.
Copy !req
178. LET'S SHOW THEM
HOW IT'S REALLY DONE.
Copy !req
179. HEY!
Copy !req
180. YO, HEY, CHECK IT OUT!
Copy !req
181. IT'S OLD TIME
AT THE APOLLO!
Copy !req
182. COME ON, LET'S GO
DOWN TO THE LODGE
Copy !req
183. WHERE WE'LL BE APPRECIATED, HUH?
Copy !req
184. CHRISTMAS PARTY
STARTS IN 15 MINUTES.
Copy !req
185. WHOO!
Copy !req
186. OW... OW... OW.
Copy !req
187. MAN, I SURE WISH
ROBBIE WAS HERE.
Copy !req
188. HE CERTAINLY WOULD ENJOY THIS.
Copy !req
189. WAIT, WAIT. HOLD IT.
WAIT A MINUTE, MOM.
Copy !req
190. WHO IS THIS ROBERT GUY?
Copy !req
191. I MEAN, WHERE DID
YOU MEET HIM AT?
Copy !req
192. I MEAN, WHAT DOES HE DO FOR
A LIVING? WHAT DO HIS PARENTS...
Copy !req
193. MWAH! GOOD NIGHT, WILL.
Copy !req
194. HO HO!
Copy !req
195. HEY, HEY...
Copy !req
196. YOU BE BACK HERE BY 10:00!
Copy !req
197. AND DON'T MAKE ME HAVE TO
COME DOWN THERE AND GET YOU!
Copy !req
198. WHO COULD THAT BE?
Copy !req
199. THAT'S PROBABLY DONNY AND MARIE
Copy !req
200. COMING OVER TO
BORROW A CUP OF RHYTHM.
Copy !req
201. OH, HI. I-I-I'M ARNOLD TISH.
Copy !req
202. MY CAR'S BROKE DOWN.
CAN I USE YOUR PHONE?
Copy !req
203. SURE.
Copy !req
204. WHOA, WHOA. HOLD
IT A SECOND, MY MAN.
Copy !req
205. WHY DID YOU DO THAT?
Copy !req
206. CARLTON, YOU SUBURBAN
TWIT. THIS GUY'S A STRANGER.
Copy !req
207. WILL, IT'S FREEZING
OUTSIDE. LET HIM IN.
Copy !req
208. WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
Copy !req
209. UNLESS HE IS ON A MULE
WITH A PREGNANT VIRGIN,
Copy !req
210. HE AIN'T GETTING IN HERE.
Copy !req
211. WILL, WOULDN'T YOU WANT SOMEONE
TO HELP YOU IF YOU WERE IN HIS SHOES?
Copy !req
212. I DIDN'T EVEN SEE HIS
SHOES I'D HELP HIM.
Copy !req
213. WILL, IT'S CHRISTMAS.
Copy !req
214. YEAH. AREN'T THE
HOLIDAYS ABOUT SHARING?
Copy !req
215. ALL RIGHT, ALL
RIGHT, LET HIM IN.
Copy !req
216. COME ON IN, MY MAN.
Copy !req
217. I'LL GET THE PHONE FOR YOU.
Copy !req
218. WHY DON'T YOU HAVE A
NICE SEAT BY THE FIREPLACE?
Copy !req
219. WHAT'S DID YOU SAY
YOUR NAME WAS AGAIN?
Copy !req
220. A-A-ARNOLD.
Copy !req
221. OH, HI, ARNOLD.
NICE TO MEET YOU.
Copy !req
222. HEY, MY MAN, ARNOLD,
Copy !req
223. WHY DON'T YOU SAY MERRY
CHRISTMAS FOR THE CAMERA.
Copy !req
224. MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Copy !req
225. UH, OH, C-C-COULD I
SAY ONE MORE THING?
Copy !req
226. YEAH. HURRY UP, THOUGH.
I'M ABOUT TO RUN OUT OF TAPE.
Copy !req
227. OH, OK. UM, NOBODY MOVE.
Copy !req
228. THIS IS A STICKUP.
Copy !req
229. Will, muffled: MOVE!
Copy !req
230. OH, MY GOD.
Copy !req
231. OH, BOBBY, HONEY, HOW
MANY TIMES I HAVE TO TELL YOU,
Copy !req
232. DON'T TIE UP THE FAMILY.
Copy !req
233. THE CREEP EVEN
TOOK THE TOILET PAPER.
Copy !req
234. DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW.
Copy !req
235. HE TOOK MY HOME
PREGNANCY TEST, TOO.
Copy !req
236. WELL, MAYBE HE'LL CALL
IN WITH THE RESULTS.
Copy !req
237. I'LL GET IT.
Copy !req
238. GOSH, I'M GLAD I CAME.
Copy !req
239. HI THERE.
Copy !req
240. BOY, HOWDY.
Copy !req
241. LOOKS LIKE YOU FOLKS
BEEN PICKED CLEANER
Copy !req
242. THAN PAVAROTTI'S CHICKEN BONES.
Copy !req
243. WAIT A MINUTE. I THOUGHT YOU
WERE THE REAL ESTATE AGENT.
Copy !req
244. I AM. I'M ALSO THE
SHERIFF, NOTARY PUBLIC,
Copy !req
245. MORTICIAN, AND, UH, I'M A
PRETTY GOOD LITTLE DANCER, TOO.
Copy !req
246. LET ME GUESS... THERE'S
A LOT OF MARRIAGE
Copy !req
247. BETWEEN FIRST COUSINS
IN THIS TOWN, RIGHT?
Copy !req
248. OK, LET ME SEE IF
I GOT THIS RIGHT?
Copy !req
249. HE'S A SHORT, TALL, MEDIUM
HEIGHT CAUCASIAN MALE
Copy !req
250. WITH STRAWBERRY,
DIRTY-BLOND, BROWN HAIR...
Copy !req
251. WEIGHING SOMEWHERE
BETWEEN 125 AND 200 POUNDS.
Copy !req
252. YEAH, THAT'S HIM.
Copy !req
253. AND DUDE'LL BE
CARRYING MY BOOM BOX.
Copy !req
254. RIGHT.
Copy !req
255. WHAT THE HELL IS A BOOM BOX?
Copy !req
256. SO, SHERIFF, WHAT ARE THE CHANCES
OF US GETTING OUR STUFF BACK?
Copy !req
257. CAN I BE HONEST WITH YOU?
Copy !req
258. PLEASE DO.
Copy !req
259. BUY ALL NEW STUFF.
Copy !req
260. MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Copy !req
261. WELL, THERE'S NOTHING
WE CAN DO ABOUT IT NOW.
Copy !req
262. WHY DON'T WE TRY
AND GET SOME SLEEP?
Copy !req
263. IT'S NOT QUITE THAT SIMPLE.
Copy !req
264. THERE ARE ONLY ENOUGH
BEDS FOR 7 OF US, REMEMBER?
Copy !req
265. WELL, I'M NOT SLEEPING
WITH ANYONE BUT LESTER...
Copy !req
266. EXCEPT MAYBE DENZEL WASHINGTON.
Copy !req
267. LOOK, I KNOW HOW TO SETTLE THIS.
Copy !req
268. EVERYBODY WHO CHIPPED IN ON
RENTING THIS CABIN GETS A BED.
Copy !req
269. TIME-OUT. TIME-OUT.
Copy !req
270. THAT MEANS ALL THE KIDS
HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE FLOOR.
Copy !req
271. WORKS FOR ME. WORKS FOR ME.
Copy !req
272. WILL?
Copy !req
273. WILL, ARE YOU ASLEEP?
Copy !req
274. NO, CARLTON, I'M
DOING HOMEBOY YOGA.
Copy !req
275. WILL...
Copy !req
276. I WAS REALLY SCARED TONIGHT.
Copy !req
277. YEAH, CARLTON. YOU'RE
SCARED OF ZIPPER-FLY JEANS.
Copy !req
278. COME ON. WEREN'T YOU
SCARED, JUST A LITTLE BIT?
Copy !req
279. WHAT, ARE YOU TRIPPING, MAN?
Copy !req
280. SCARED?
Copy !req
281. I WAS PETRIFIED, MAN.
Copy !req
282. IF ASHLEY HADN'T SLAPPED ME,
MAN, I MIGHT HAVE SCREAMED.
Copy !req
283. I'LL TELL YOU ONE THING...
Copy !req
284. WHAT HAPPENED TONIGHT MADE
ME REALIZE HOW PRECIOUS LIFE IS,
Copy !req
285. AND I PROMISED MYSELF
THAT I'D ALWAYS MAKE SURE
Copy !req
286. I LET MY FAMILY KNOW
HOW MUCH I LOVE THEM.
Copy !req
287. SO, UM...
Copy !req
288. I JUST WANT TO SAY...
Copy !req
289. I LOVE YOU, WILL.
Copy !req
290. AREN'T YOU GOING TO SAY IT BACK?
Copy !req
291. I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL,
Copy !req
292. EVEN IF YOU WON'T SAY IT.
Copy !req
293. IF THERE IS AN OUNCE
OF DECENCY LEFT IN YOU,
Copy !req
294. JUST TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM.
Copy !req
295. IT'S OK, ASH...
Copy !req
296. I LOVE YOU, MAN, ALL RIGHT?
Copy !req
297. I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU!
Copy !req
298. I LOVE YOU, TOO.
Copy !req
299. MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYBODY.
Copy !req
300. WHAT'S SO MERRY ABOUT IT?
Copy !req
301. YEAH, YEAH, RIGHT.
Copy !req
302. WELL, IF NO ONE ELSE
GOING TO PUT UP A FRONT,
Copy !req
303. NEITHER AM I.
Copy !req
304. THIS IS THE WORST DAMN
CHRISTMAS I'VE EVER HAD!
Copy !req
305. LOOK AT THIS FOOL.
Copy !req
306. SO, JEFFREY, WHAT'S
FOR BREAKFAST?
Copy !req
307. HOT WATER AND CHEWING GUM, SIR.
Copy !req
308. YOU MEAN HE STOLE THE FOOD, TOO?
Copy !req
309. HEY, LOOK WHAT I FOUND!
Copy !req
310. A TEA BAG!
Copy !req
311. IT AIN'T A BELGIAN
WAFFLE, BUT IT'LL DO.
Copy !req
312. PASS IT AROUND.
Copy !req
313. YOU KNOW WHAT? THIS REMINDS ME
Copy !req
314. OF THE CHRISTMAS THAT
MAMA GOT LAID OFF OF WORK
Copy !req
315. AND SHE BROUGHT US HOME
THOSE DOLLS, REMEMBER?
Copy !req
316. YEAH. SHE COULDN'T
AFFORD THEIR CLOTHES,
Copy !req
317. SO SHE TOLD US
THEY WERE TOPLESS.
Copy !req
318. I REMEMBER ONE CHRISTMAS I
WANTED A SET OF DRUMS SO BAD.
Copy !req
319. MAMA AND PAPA
COULDN'T AFFORD THEM,
Copy !req
320. SO THEY SET UP THE
POTS AND PANS LIKE DRUMS.
Copy !req
321. I WHALED ON THOSE
THINGS TILL SUPPERTIME.
Copy !req
322. THEN MAMA HAD TO TAKE THEM
APART SO SHE COULD COOK.
Copy !req
323. DOES THAT MEAN YOU'RE GOING
TO GO OUT AND MAKE ME A MIATA?
Copy !req
324. NO, SWEETHEART, BUT I AM
GOING TO GIVE YOU A GIFT.
Copy !req
325. THIS YEAR, I'M GOING
TO GIVE MY FAMILY
Copy !req
326. LESS OF MY MONEY
AND MORE OF MYSELF.
Copy !req
327. FOR MY GIFT, I'M
GOING TO MAKE SURE
Copy !req
328. THAT THIS FAMILY STAYS CLOSE.
Copy !req
329. SEEING MY FAMILY
JUST ONCE A YEAR
Copy !req
330. JUST ISN'T ENOUGH.
Copy !req
331. AW...
Copy !req
332. WELL, I'M GIVING HELEN MY EARS
Copy !req
333. BECAUSE SOMETIMES WHAT SHE SAYS
Copy !req
334. MAKES MORE SENSE THAN
I GIVE HER CREDIT FOR.
Copy !req
335. WELL... WELL, I'M GOING
TO TRY TO SPEAK SOFTER
Copy !req
336. SO MAYBE I'LL BE
EASIER TO LISTEN TO.
Copy !req
337. I'M GOING TO TRY AND BE
Copy !req
338. MORE LIKE MY AUNTS
AND MY MOTHER,
Copy !req
339. WHO ARE ALL WARM, WONDERFUL,
Copy !req
340. STRONG BLACK WOMEN.
Copy !req
341. OH, THANK YOU.
Copy !req
342. FOR MY CHRISTMAS GIFT,
Copy !req
343. I'M GOING TO GIVE
ASHLEY A NOOGIE.
Copy !req
344. I'M GOING TO GIVE
BOBBY 5 SECONDS
Copy !req
345. BEFORE I RAM THAT VIDEO
GAME DOWN HIS THROAT!
Copy !req
346. WELL, YOU'VE ALREADY
GIVEN ME MY GIFT...
Copy !req
347. I'VE GOT JANICE,
Copy !req
348. AND I'M PROUD TO BE
A PART OF THIS FAMILY.
Copy !req
349. AND I AM GOING TO...
Copy !req
350. THROW UP!
Copy !req
351. OH, BABY!
Copy !req
352. NOW, THERE'S A GIFT FOR THE
PERSON WHO HAS EVERYTHING.
Copy !req
353. HEY, UM...
Copy !req
354. I'M GONNA JUST GO CHECK ON HER.
Copy !req
355. NO, NO, NO, YOU DON'T.
THAT'S FRANK'S JOB.
Copy !req
356. COME ON. IT'S YOUR TURN.
Copy !req
357. UM...
Copy !req
358. WELL, I GUESS MY
GIFT TO YOU, MOM,
Copy !req
359. IS, UH... IS ME.
Copy !req
360. MAMA, YOU DON'T
NEED THAT ROBERT.
Copy !req
361. THANKS, BABY, BUT I
ALREADY HAVE ONE OF YOU.
Copy !req
362. WELL, THEN I GUESS
Copy !req
363. I'M GOING TO TRY TO BE
MORE UNDERSTANDING.
Copy !req
364. JUST DON'T COME AROUND
HERE WITH NO BABIES.
Copy !req
365. OH, WILL.
Copy !req
366. YOU'RE MY ONLY BABY.
Copy !req
367. MADAM, SIR...
Copy !req
368. THIS FAMILY IS AS CLOSE
TO ME AS MY VERY OWN.
Copy !req
369. MY GIFT TO YOU WILL BE...
Copy !req
370. A SET OF HAND TOWELS.
Copy !req
371. I'M BRITISH.
Copy !req
372. I'M NO GOOD AT THIS MUSHY STUFF.
Copy !req
373. YOU AIN'T NO GOOD AT PICKING
CHRISTMAS GIFTS NEITHER.
Copy !req
374. MERRY CHRISTMAS, FOLKS.
Copy !req
375. I GOT GOOD NEWS. WE GOT
THE GUY WHO ROBBED YOU.
Copy !req
376. ALL RIGHT! THAT'S GREAT!
Copy !req
377. HE DIDN'T GET VERY FAR.
Copy !req
378. NOPE. THE TIRE BLEW
OUT ON YOUR RENTAL CAR
Copy !req
379. AND HE SLAMMED INTO THE
COURTHOUSE NATIVITY SCENE.
Copy !req
380. BABY JESUS WENT THROUGH THE
WINDSHIELD KNOCKED HIM OUT COLD.
Copy !req
381. AHH! THE LORD WORKS
IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS.
Copy !req
382. YES!
Copy !req
383. THE BAD NEWS IS
Copy !req
384. HE'D ALREADY UNLOADED
ALL YOUR STUFF,
Copy !req
385. EXCEPT FOR ONE THING.
Copy !req
386. SOMEONE IN THIS
ROOM IS PREGNANT.
Copy !req
387. BOY, DON'T YOU EVEN THINK IT.
Copy !req
388. CONGRATULATIONS AND, UH...
Copy !req
389. HAPPY KWANZA.
Copy !req
390. HONEY, REMEMBER THAT NIGHT
Copy !req
391. WHEN I SAID, "BETTER
SAFE THAN SORRY"?
Copy !req
392. UH-HUH.
Copy !req
393. SORRY.
Copy !req
394. HOLY SMOKES.
Copy !req
395. HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.
Copy !req
396. I DIDN'T GET TO GIVE
MY CHRISTMAS GIFT.
Copy !req
397. IT'S A HOLIDAY MEDLEY,
Copy !req
398. AND ITS DEDICATED
TO JANICE AND FRANK.
Copy !req
399. OH...
Copy !req
400. HEY, WAIT A MINUTE! YOU
GUYS ARE DROWNING ME OUT.
Copy !req
401. MY GIFT TO YOU WAS A SOLO.
Copy !req
402. NO, NO, CARLTON, YOU
CAN STILL SING SOLO.
Copy !req
403. SO LOW THAT WE CAN'T HEAR YOU.
Copy !req