1. Have mercy.Copy !req
2. What's that, Jody?Copy !req
3. Yeah, you can pick me up at 8:00, baby.Copy !req
4. Yes, lord. Your red tube top.Copy !req
5. Asking out magazines, Will?Copy !req
6. I don't know.
Even paper products have some standards.Copy !req
7. What's that, Jody?
No, that's as tall as he'll ever be.Copy !req
8. Hilary, you know
I don't like wearing costumes.Copy !req
9. But, Dad, I'm coming to Hilary's party
as a ballerina.Copy !req
10. That's the one thing I wanted to come as.
And it's taken?Copy !req
11. So sorry.Copy !req
12. Please, Daddy, I want my Halloween party
to turn out really good.Copy !req
13. Couldn't you wear
a very tailored clown suit or something?Copy !req
14. Go on, Uncle Phil. You just throw
a hairpiece on and come as Mr. T.Copy !req
15. Yeah, Dad. We're all wearing costumes.Copy !req
16. I have some bad news for both of you.
You're not invited.Copy !req
17. Why not?Copy !req
18. Every time I have a party, you spend
all night hitting on my girlfriends.Copy !req
19. Wait a minute, Hilary.
Everyone in the family is invited.Copy !req
20. Besides, I'm sure Carlton and Will
have dates.Copy !req
21. - Yeah, of course.
- Oodles.Copy !req
22. I guess all things are possible.Copy !req
23. We better get going.Copy !req
24. I need to get my costume
and the mall closes in eight hours.Copy !req
25. We all need costumes. Let's go.Copy !req
26. - Won't this be fun?
- No.Copy !req
27. Come on, Philip.
Get in the Halloween spirit.Copy !req
28. So, what's that, Carlton?
You do not have a date for tonight.Copy !req
29. Like you do? Who are you taking, Page 42?Copy !req
30. Carlton, all I have to do is walk in a mall,
and I get any girl I want.Copy !req
31. It's the law of nature.Copy !req
32. It's called the survival of the handsomest.Copy !req
33. Will, I don't even have to step
into the mall.Copy !req
34. Girls surround me in the parking lot
and rip the doors off my car.Copy !req
35. Would you like to put your money
where your mouth is?Copy !req
36. A betting man.Copy !req
37. I bet you that I get a date...Copy !req
38. and you don't.Copy !req
39. This is a sucker bet, Will.Copy !req
40. Within an hour, I'll have a gorgeous date
and a great Halloween costume.Copy !req
41. You better buy the mask first.Copy !req
42. Okay, we'll meet back at the car at 5:00.Copy !req
43. And, Carlton and Will, good luck.Copy !req
44. All right, Will.
Let the great pick-up contest begin.Copy !req
45. Carlton, this is gonna be
about as much of a contest...Copy !req
46. as Mike Tyson versus Fred Savage.Copy !req
47. Welcome to Croissants Aplenty.
I'm Cindy, your waitress.Copy !req
48. What's up, Cindy?
I'm Will and this is Carlton, my geek.Copy !req
49. Cindy, we need a woman's point of view.Copy !req
50. Which one of us
do you find more attractive?Copy !req
51. May I take your order?Copy !req
52. I'll have the goat cheese
and the prosciutto croissant.Copy !req
53. Y'all got any ribs?Copy !req
54. Okay, back to the bet.Copy !req
55. A "date" is defined as a female who
arrives at the party by midnight tonight.Copy !req
56. And let me clarify something
for you, Carlton:Copy !req
57. She has to be a human being.Copy !req
58. I saw you looking in the pet store.Copy !req
59. Hilary, I really don't think this store's
gonna have my ballerina costume.Copy !req
60. Ashley, you don't want to come to
my Halloween party as a boring ballerina.Copy !req
61. But, Hilary, I want to come
in something pretty.Copy !req
62. There. You're Charlie Chaplin.Copy !req
63. - Who is Charlie Chaplin?
- He was a silent movie star.Copy !req
64. So take a hint. Let's get my outfits.Copy !req
65. "Outfits"? How many costumes
do you need?Copy !req
66. At least five. I'm going as a runway model.Copy !req
67. - Anything I can help you with, sir?
- No, I'm just browsing.Copy !req
68. Actually, I'm supposed to be shopping
for a Halloween costume.Copy !req
69. What's this? It's one of those things
for finding your lost keys?Copy !req
70. Yes, but this one is totally new.
Are you constantly misplacing your keys?Copy !req
71. Just touch the button on the locator unit,
and the keyring emits a gentle beep tone...Copy !req
72. - to alert you to the whereabouts.
- Nice, but what's new about that?Copy !req
73. Suppose you misplace
your primary locator unit.Copy !req
74. Just use the equally handsome
secondary unit...Copy !req
75. and listen for the primary unit's
own distinctive warbling.Copy !req
76. That's a great idea.Copy !req
77. - What's this?
- It's a Dynatronics audio habitat enhancer.Copy !req
78. I could use one of those. What does it do?Copy !req
79. It produces a pleasant ocean sound,
drowning out unpleasant noise pollution.Copy !req
80. - You have that problem in your house?
- Boy, do l!Copy !req
81. My wife's nephew.
The first week he moved in with us...Copy !req
82. there was nonstop drumming
in the house.Copy !req
83. Ashley, honey...Copy !req
84. where is your violin?Copy !req
85. - Big Sal has it.
- Big Sal?Copy !req
86. He owns this great store
where you don't need any money.Copy !req
87. You just go in and give him something
you don't even want anymore...Copy !req
88. - and he gives you this ticket. Then—
- A pawnshop?Copy !req
89. - You took her to a pawnshop?
- Yeah, it was really hard, too.Copy !req
90. You don't have many pawnshops
in Bel-Air. That's really a shame.Copy !req
91. - I had to go all the way to East LA.
- East LA?Copy !req
92. - They gave me a great deal.
- They gave you a set of drums.Copy !req
93. And...Copy !req
94. I made them throw in a little gift
for each of you. Close your eyes.Copy !req
95. - Vivian!
- I want my present.Copy !req
96. Okay, open.Copy !req
97. What a lovely antique necklace.Copy !req
98. - What is this?
- Daddy, it's a diamond.Copy !req
99. No, it isn't.Copy !req
100. - You don't like it?
- No, I do not.Copy !req
101. Can I have it?Copy !req
102. How dare you pawn her violin!Copy !req
103. - She don't even like playing it no more.
- She will learn to like it later.Copy !req
104. A young woman who can play a violin
is an accomplished young lady.Copy !req
105. A girlie that can play the drums
can write her own ticket.Copy !req
106. Will, I want the best for Ashley.Copy !req
107. When I was a kid, I loved classical music,
but my parents couldn't afford lessons.Copy !req
108. I used to stand out in the parking lot
of the Philharmonic...Copy !req
109. hoping to catch a spare note
on the night air.Copy !req
110. Philip, when I met you,
you were into James Brown.Copy !req
111. - He liked James Brown?
- He even wore his hair like him.Copy !req
112. He had hair?Copy !req
113. You know, it is possible to like
both classical music and James Brown.Copy !req
114. I could not agree more. So let's
let Ashley play whatever she wants.Copy !req
115. She spent an entire year on the violin.Copy !req
116. So if she wants to try something new,
let her.Copy !req
117. You tell him, Aunt Viv.Copy !req
118. - And as for you, young man—
- Love you.Copy !req
119. The next time
you decide to visit a pawnshop, don't.Copy !req
120. - Are we clear on that?
- Yes.Copy !req
121. Master William,
there is a young gentleman downstairs...Copy !req
122. with a rather large radio
who is here to see you.Copy !req
123. - He claims his name is Jazz.
- Yo, word up. Send him up.Copy !req
124. - Now, who is this Jazz fellow?
- I heard the boy at a club.Copy !req
125. He was all of that.
He will be Ashley's new music teacher.Copy !req
126. Mr. Jazz.Copy !req
127. It's nice to meet you, Jazz.Copy !req
128. How do you do? I'm Mr. Banks.Copy !req
129. You got that right.Copy !req
130. Man, you're loaded!Copy !req
131. Yo, what's up, J.?Copy !req
132. Come on, let's just leave them alone.Copy !req
133. - I asked him to take her to her lesson—
- I know, baby.Copy !req
134. Tell Mama all about it.Copy !req
135. Ash, how about letting Jazz get busy
one time?Copy !req
136. Excuse me, I'm looking for that store
with the safari clothes.Copy !req
137. I can't remember the name,
but I think there's some produce in it.Copy !req
138. - Banana Republic.
- That's it. Thank you.Copy !req
139. You have a beautiful speaking voice.
You're probably a dynamite singer.Copy !req
140. Well, I'm okay.Copy !req
141. You want to record your own song? $8.95.Copy !req
142. I really have to shop
for a Halloween costume.Copy !req
143. That's too bad,
because you're the first person I've met...Copy !req
144. who I think could make
a professional, quality recording.Copy !req
145. - Hi, may I help you?
- I think so.Copy !req
146. You look like a woman with good taste.Copy !req
147. Tonight is my sister's Halloween party...Copy !req
148. and I was wondering
if you can honor me by...Copy !req
149. showing me that pen.Copy !req
150. Certainly. This pen was manufactured
in France.Copy !req
151. It has a 14-karat gold nib
and it's hand-lacquered. The price is—Copy !req
152. Do I look like the kind of man
who would quibble about a few dollars?Copy !req
153. That's very nice...Copy !req
154. because most of my customers would be
shocked at a pen that costs $300.Copy !req
155. Aren't these dancers great?Copy !req
156. You like dancers?Copy !req
157. I think dancers are the sexiest guys
in the whole world.Copy !req
158. Word? Yo, baby, peep this.Copy !req
159. Hi, Shauna. I'd like to try these on.Copy !req
160. Hilary, hi. I didn't even see you come in.Copy !req
161. I was just getting my overview
of your new stock.Copy !req
162. - It is all wonderful.
- Wait till you see what I've held for you.Copy !req
163. Thank you!Copy !req
164. It is so important to have friends in retail.
I've tried to explain that to my little sister.Copy !req
165. Hilary, I'd love to meet her.
When are you gonna bring her in?Copy !req
166. She's right here.Copy !req
167. - Ashley, say hi to Shauna.
- Hello.Copy !req
168. Anyway, I need some outfits
for my Halloween party tonight.Copy !req
169. That should be fun.Copy !req
170. As long as my cousin Will doesn't ruin it.Copy !req
171. You should have seen what he did
at our last party.Copy !req
172. Oh, my God!Copy !req
173. Philip, don't make a big thing out of it.Copy !req
174. if this is how he feels comfortable,
he's not killing anybody.Copy !req
175. Philip, aren't you going to introduce Will?
lntroduce him.Copy !req
176. Steve, David, Henry...Copy !req
177. this is Will, my nephew by marriage.Copy !req
178. Will, these are my partners
in the law firm of Furth, Winn & Meyer.Copy !req
179. Earth, Wind & Fire.
When's your next album coming out?Copy !req
180. Will is going to go to Bel-Air Academy
with Carlton.Copy !req
181. Good for you, Will.
I used to fence at Bel-Air.Copy !req
182. Really? How much do you think
we could get for that stereo?Copy !req
183. - These hors d'oeuvres look tempting.
- Don't mind if I do.Copy !req
184. - Will, there are other people at this table.
- You're right.Copy !req
185. Any requests?Copy !req
186. - Sweetie, would you say grace, please?
- Yes, Mommy.Copy !req
187. "Hey, there, Lord
My name is Ashley BanksCopy !req
188. "My family and friends
Want to give you some thanksCopy !req
189. "So before this dinner's
All swallowed and chewedCopy !req
190. "Thank you, God, for this stupid food"Copy !req
191. The easy-to-read digital display
keeps constant track of your pencil supply.Copy !req
192. As you remove the pencils
from the sturdy ABS plastic container...Copy !req
193. the powerful micro-computer brain
continuously updates the LED read-out...Copy !req
194. and when the number reaches
your preset re-supply level...Copy !req
195. the pencil monitor alerts you
to the shortage...Copy !req
196. and reminds you to take action.Copy !req
197. Only three pencils remain.
Proceed to stationery store immediately.Copy !req
198. I'll take it.Copy !req
199. I better get moving. I'm sure my wife
has picked out her costume by now.Copy !req
200. Boys...Copy !req
201. I'd love to go
to the Halloween party tonight...Copy !req
202. but I can only go with one of you.Copy !req
203. Okay. Tough luck, Carlton.Copy !req
204. Beat it, see you, scram, sayonara,
peace out. And so long, screwy.Copy !req
205. Not so fast. I don't even know you.Copy !req
206. Count your blessings.Copy !req
207. Now do you see, miss? This is an example
of the difference between the two of us.Copy !req
208. While Carlton snaps at every opportunity
to take a cheap shot...Copy !req
209. I'm the kindest, gentlest soul
you'll ever want to meet.Copy !req
210. Melinda, I'm nice to all people.
Young and old.Copy !req
211. A couple weeks ago,
Carlton's grandmother visited.Copy !req
212. Who kept her company? Not Carlton.Copy !req
213. Me.Copy !req
214. It's 3:00 in the morning, Will.Copy !req
215. - How did you see me?
- Mama knows.Copy !req
216. Look, Granny, please don't tell Uncle Phil.
I'm just a little bit past my curfew.Copy !req
217. How much is a little?Copy !req
218. Let's just say I went out
after I was supposed to be in.Copy !req
219. - Don't do it again.
- All right. What are you doing up so late?Copy !req
220. Child, I had to get up
and get breakfast started.Copy !req
221. I don't know what you all got
that Geoffrey for.Copy !req
222. - Five-card draw?
- Yeah, I'm with it.Copy !req
223. Granny, I really like you. You and Grandpa,
you have fun. You tell jokes.Copy !req
224. - You all bust me up.
- Thank you, son.Copy !req
225. Hey, look, Granny, it's late,
everybody's asleep.Copy !req
226. You can level with me.
Uncle Phil's adopted, right?Copy !req
227. Now, we're real proud of Zeke.Copy !req
228. Did you know he won The Young Farmers
of America Pig Raising trophy?Copy !req
229. No. I didn't know that, but I'd love
to have some details about that.Copy !req
230. Won it four years running.
They had to retire his slop bucket.Copy !req
231. Slop bucket? I can't wait till he wakes up.Copy !req
232. Respect your elders, son.Copy !req
233. See, I beat you.Copy !req
234. You know, he was the first
Black President of the Young Farmers.Copy !req
235. - Was that like a big thing?
- Oh, my, yes!Copy !req
236. I beat you again.Copy !req
237. That was awfully sweet of you
to play cards with her.Copy !req
238. Sweet? Well, some would say that, but...Copy !req
239. it was just me being my thoughtful self.Copy !req
240. Reality check. This guy
is far from thoughtful.Copy !req
241. He's the most selfish, irresponsible person
I have ever met.Copy !req
242. A few weeks ago, I went on a car trip,
and this guy caused all kinds of trouble.Copy !req
243. Plans for Palm Springs.Copy !req
244. Work on golf swing.Copy !req
245. Review SAT practice book.Copy !req
246. Ask Mr. Furth
about a summer internship.Copy !req
247. Get the stick out of your butt!Copy !req
248. Way to go, Will.
You almost made us crash.Copy !req
249. What are you think
you're doing here anyway?Copy !req
250. Come on. Just relax.
Pretend I'm not even here.Copy !req
251. Gladly.Copy !req
252. What you eating?Copy !req
253. For crying out loud.Copy !req
254. Can I have some?Copy !req
255. All right, Will.Copy !req
256. I'll share my snack with you
on one condition.Copy !req
257. When we get to Palm Springs,
you'll behave like a proper gentleman...Copy !req
258. and try to maintain
some sense of decorum and etiquette.Copy !req
259. - Understood?
- Yeah.Copy !req
260. Good. What do you say to an Oreo?Copy !req
261. I say, "What's up, Carlton?"Copy !req
262. He hid in the back seat?Copy !req
263. It got worse.Copy !req
264. Because of his antics,
we got arrested and thrown in jail.Copy !req
265. He's only telling
one side of the story, Melinda.Copy !req
266. When we were in jail, this boy cracked.Copy !req
267. I had to do everything in my power
to try to hold him together.Copy !req
268. This is terrible. I'm ruined.Copy !req
269. I'll be kicked out of the glee club,
I won't get into Princeton.Copy !req
270. I won't be admitted to the bar.Copy !req
271. Neither will l. The cops took my fake lD.Copy !req
272. Come on, man, don't give me
that my-dog-is-dead face.Copy !req
273. - Come on. Let's sing.
- I'm not singing.Copy !req
274. This is just retarded.Copy !req
275. Come on, man, let it go. You'll feel better.Copy !req
276. Melinda, I've been charitable so far,
but now's the time to take off the gloves.Copy !req
277. You don't know
what a date with Will is like.Copy !req
278. One evening, not so long ago,
Will was walking a young lady home...Copy !req
279. Yo, I told you, babe.
A date with me is a night to remember.Copy !req
280. What'd you think of dinner?Copy !req
281. Dinner? It was just a Slurpee.Copy !req
282. I did that for you, baby.Copy !req
283. Keep that body of yours slim, trim,
and ready for action.Copy !req
284. Well, your hamburger and fries
sure did look good.Copy !req
285. Baby, that's man food.Copy !req
286. It's getting awfully late, Will.
Shouldn't we take a cab?Copy !req
287. Well, that's awfully expensive, baby.
Let's just walk down this dark alley.Copy !req
288. All right, punk.
Your money or your girlfriend.Copy !req
289. - My brother, you're making this too easy.
- Will!Copy !req
290. Unhand her.Copy !req
291. And who are you?Copy !req
292. Banks. Carlton Banks.Copy !req
293. One second, Melinda, please.Copy !req
294. Carlton, what the hell was that?
That never happened.Copy !req
295. It could have.
Besides, when we made this bet...Copy !req
296. there was nothing in the rules
that said no lying.Copy !req
297. Well, you know,
two can play at that game.Copy !req
298. Hey. What were you two talking about?Copy !req
299. I was just asking Carlton how long
he's been a pathological liar.Copy !req
300. And he said ever since
he was the Emperor of China.Copy !req
301. - You mean, the story wasn't true?
- Of course not.Copy !req
302. I'll tell you what a typical night
with me is like.Copy !req
303. Master William, you have a visitor.Copy !req
304. A Mr. Jackson.Copy !req
305. Come on, G. I don't have time
for these interruptions.Copy !req
306. I got homework forever.Copy !req
307. Tell Michael I'll have
to work on his dance steps later.Copy !req
308. That's Bo Jackson.Copy !req
309. Yo, what's up, babe?Copy !req
310. Watch the handshake, man.
There goes baseball season.Copy !req
311. My fault. What you need, man?Copy !req
312. I'm throwing this formal dinner party...Copy !req
313. and Bo don't know what to serve.Copy !req
314. No problem. Let me hook you up
with my resident fun expert.Copy !req
315. - Hey, yo, Heav.
- You rang?Copy !req
316. Bo Jackson, Heavy D.Copy !req
317. - Yo.
- Yo, Bo.Copy !req
318. Tell Heav your problem.Copy !req
319. I'm throwing this formal dinner party.Copy !req
320. And when it comes to cooking,
Bo don't know diddley.Copy !req
321. I think that's pronounced diddley, diddley.Copy !req
322. Heav, show Bo around the kitchen.Copy !req
323. No problem.
Follow me, your running backness.Copy !req
324. Thanks so much for letting me
be your close and personal friend.Copy !req
325. Back at you, babe.Copy !req
326. Hello.Copy !req
327. Hey, Will, what's up? This is Malcolm.Copy !req
328. Yo! What up, home?Copy !req
329. I'm going on this date tonight.Copy !req
330. And I really want to impress this girl,
and I was wondering if...Copy !req
331. maybe I could tell her I know you?Copy !req
332. Malcolm.Copy !req
333. Look, I understand your instinct...Copy !req
334. but you shouldn't try to impress a girl
with who you know.Copy !req
335. It's much better that she like you
just for yourself.Copy !req
336. if she gets to know the Malcolm I know,
I don't think she'll be able to resist.Copy !req
337. Thanks a lot, Will.Copy !req
338. I don't know what I would do
without you as a close, personal friend.Copy !req
339. - Peace, man.
- Hey, peace, babe.Copy !req
340. Master William, you have another visitor.Copy !req
341. Come on, G, please.
I got to get my homework done.Copy !req
342. Terribly sorry, sir,
but he's otherwise engaged.Copy !req
343. But I happen to be his close,
personal friend.Copy !req
344. Will, I got a serious problem.Copy !req
345. Tonight I'm supposed to go in the studio
and finish up a record.Copy !req
346. I can't find the lead singer.Copy !req
347. This is real important to me.
I need your help this time, man.Copy !req
348. First of all, let's check our ego at the door.Copy !req
349. - Q, I saved your butt before.
- I know.Copy !req
350. That Thriller thing.Copy !req
351. Q, as always, you need a singer,
I'll get you a singer, man.Copy !req
352. Yo, what's up, man? This is Prince.Copy !req
353. I got Quincy Jones over here.Copy !req
354. Dude is in pain.Copy !req
355. Could you come right over?Copy !req
356. All right. In a minute, babe.Copy !req
357. - Who was that?
- Oh, a close, personal friend.Copy !req
358. Mr. Al B. Sure.Copy !req
359. - What's going on, man?
- Yo, what's up?Copy !req
360. I'm glad you could come
on such short notice.Copy !req
361. - I need a big favor.
- Anything for you.Copy !req
362. - Quincy Jones, Al B. Sure.
- Al B.Copy !req
363. Hey, Quincy Jones. What's happening?Copy !req
364. - Yo, y'all get to work on that track.
- Let's do it.Copy !req
365. Will, 8:30, I've got to see
A Different World. I'm sorry.Copy !req
366. Yeah, man. I love that show.Copy !req
367. Really?Copy !req
368. - Hey, yo, K.
- What?Copy !req
369. What's happening, babe?Copy !req
370. I want you to meet
a couple of close, personal friends of mine.Copy !req
371. Quincy Jones, Al B. Sure.
Kadeem Hardison.Copy !req
372. Man, this dude knows everybody.Copy !req
373. - How'd you guys meet?
- How'd we meet?Copy !req
374. I'm a big Giants fan
and Will is a big Philadelphia Eagles fan.Copy !req
375. It was the biggest game of the season.
The Giants were up by five.Copy !req
376. Randall Cunningham had been knocked
out of the game by Lawrence Taylor.Copy !req
377. The Eagles were desperate.
They had nowhere to go.Copy !req
378. They knew that there was
only one man in Philadelphia...Copy !req
379. to be called on in this situation.Copy !req
380. They looked at the stands.Copy !req
381. There he stood: Will Smith.Copy !req
382. He came down, got in the game...Copy !req
383. threw a 72-yard touchdown pass
to himself...Copy !req
384. in street clothes.Copy !req
385. When the game was over,
the crazy crowd mobbed and pulled him...Copy !req
386. they ripped him, pulled him.
He broke away.Copy !req
387. He ran and gave the game ball
to this little kid...Copy !req
388. standing on the sideline
with tears in his eyes.Copy !req
389. That little kid was me.Copy !req
390. - I love you.
- I love you, man!Copy !req
391. - Straight up, man!
- I know.Copy !req
392. All right, chill.Copy !req
393. You know, fellas...Copy !req
394. straight-up.Copy !req
395. - I feel a lot of love in this room.
- Yes, brother.Copy !req
396. And I just want to say I feel real happy...Copy !req
397. to have such good, close personal friends
as you guys.Copy !req
398. We're lucky to know you, too.Copy !req
399. Come on, y'all, let's sing. Here.Copy !req
400. Yeah, that was a kind of slow night for me.Copy !req
401. So come on, what's up?Copy !req
402. - Come to the party with me.
- No, come to the party with me.Copy !req
403. Guys, you have both made
such good cases for yourself...Copy !req
404. it makes it even harder to choose.Copy !req
405. So, I'm going to have to go with basic...Copy !req
406. raw, physical attraction.Copy !req
407. What time should I be there, Carlton?Copy !req
408. Excuse me.Copy !req
409. Let me see that hat.Copy !req
410. Okay, but I don't think
it works with that outfit.Copy !req
411. - Did you pay for this?
- No, I guess I forgot to.Copy !req
412. But you just had to have to it?Copy !req
413. Me? You've got to be kidding.
Derbies went out six months ago.Copy !req
414. Let's take a little walk
to the security office.Copy !req
415. You can give me
your fashion dos and don'ts there.Copy !req
416. I knew I should have gone as a ballerina.Copy !req
417. Okay, people, let's go. Let's move along.Copy !req
418. There's no show. Let's go.
Move along, please.Copy !req
419. Welcome back to Croissants Aplenty.Copy !req
420. I didn't order...
What kind of a croissant is that?Copy !req
421. It's peanut butter. And it's on the house.Copy !req
422. Looks like it's been on the floor.Copy !req
423. You look a little down.
Did you lose the contest to your friend?Copy !req
424. Yeah. Who'd have guessed it?Copy !req
425. Especially in a place this well lit.Copy !req
426. Strange things happen on Halloween.Copy !req
427. Don't remind me. I got to go
to that party tonight on the solo tip.Copy !req
428. Don't feel too bad.Copy !req
429. There's bound to be at least
one other guy there without a date.Copy !req
430. Yeah. You know, Cindy,
you're probably right.Copy !req
431. Master William, there were
three phone messages for you.Copy !req
432. From a Miss Karen, a Miss Judy,
and a Miss Trisha.Copy !req
433. What did they say?Copy !req
434. "How desperate do you think I am?"Copy !req
435. "Not on your life."Copy !req
436. And, "Ha ha ha ha ha...Copy !req
437. "ha."Copy !req
438. So, why did the security guard
stop you, Hilary?Copy !req
439. It seems I fit the description of a shoplifter
they've been trying to catch.Copy !req
440. What was the description?Copy !req
441. I don't know exactly, but it's fair
to guess that "stunning" was part of it.Copy !req
442. Eugene said he was sorry.Copy !req
443. Who is Eugene?Copy !req
444. The security guard.
Hilary invited him to the party.Copy !req
445. Why did you do that?Copy !req
446. It seemed to speed up the paperwork.Copy !req
447. Before the party starts,
I think I'll go up and get some rest.Copy !req
448. Wait a minute. Philip,
you didn't get a costume.Copy !req
449. You went to that silly gadget store.Copy !req
450. I didn't buy a silly gadget.
I bought a stapler.Copy !req
451. Only three pencils remain.
Proceed to stationery store immediately.Copy !req
452. Everyone go get ready.Copy !req
453. I'm going to put my costume on now.Copy !req
454. What is it, Hilary?Copy !req
455. A gorgeous Yves Saint Laurent dress.Copy !req
456. Scary.Copy !req
457. I just got off the phone with Melinda,
my date.Copy !req
458. She's coming as Mrs. Santa Claus.Copy !req
459. I hope that doesn't conflict
with what your date will be wearing.Copy !req
460. For your information, I have a date.Copy !req
461. What's her name?Copy !req
462. Janet Girlie.Copy !req
463. Geoffrey, isn't this a fabulous party?Copy !req
464. The entire Brat Pack is here,
plus two Twin Peakers.Copy !req
465. Oh, Miss Ashley. You look
absolutely splendid in your costume.Copy !req
466. I wanted to come as a ballerina...Copy !req
467. but I guess a short guy with a mustache
is the next best thing.Copy !req
468. Carlton. White face and lipstick.Copy !req
469. Boy, you're living out
all your fantasies tonight, huh?Copy !req
470. So, sore loser, is your date here yet?Copy !req
471. She'll be here.Copy !req
472. Will, for your information, the skeleton
over there is Elizabeth McGovern...Copy !req
473. and the unicorn standing next to her
is Kevin Bacon.Copy !req
474. And they both wish
you would stop hitting on them.Copy !req
475. Why did you come as Elton John?Copy !req
476. I'm supposed to be Superfly, Hilary.Copy !req
477. Well, your super fly's open.Copy !req
478. Trick or treat!Copy !req
479. Can I take a look
inside those bags, please?Copy !req
480. What kind of outfit is that
for a Halloween party?Copy !req
481. I'm going as Comfortable Man.Copy !req
482. Is that a comic-book hero?Copy !req
483. Sort of.
He has superhuman bill-paying powers...Copy !req
484. so he gets to dress however he likes.Copy !req
485. Love that costume, Daddy.Copy !req
486. Oh, no.Copy !req
487. Well, Philip, do you know
who I'm supposed to be?Copy !req
488. I don't care. You look fantastic.Copy !req
489. What are you looking at, clown?Copy !req
490. Oh, look. There's Kiefer Sutherland
talking to River Phoenix.Copy !req
491. What happened to your date, Carlton?Copy !req
492. Did she hit her head
and her eyesight come back?Copy !req
493. She's powdering her nose.Copy !req
494. I can understand your bitterness, Will.Copy !req
495. The party's almost over,
and you lost the bet.Copy !req
496. Ladies and gentlemen...Copy !req
497. Cinderella.Copy !req
498. Hello. Ls my prince here?Copy !req
499. Hello, Will.Copy !req
500. Do I know you?Copy !req
501. Give a guy your last
peanut-butter croissant...Copy !req
502. he forgets you in a minute.Copy !req
503. Cindy? The waitress?Copy !req
504. That's right.Copy !req
505. Baby, that hairnet
was doing nothing for you.Copy !req
506. Will, can I be your date tonight?Copy !req
507. Baby, forget tonight.
Let's block out the next 50 years.Copy !req
508. Why did you decide to come?Copy !req
509. Well, when the two of you showed up
at the restaurant...Copy !req
510. I thought you were just
a couple of macho clods.Copy !req
511. But when you came back,
you were so sweet.Copy !req
512. I guess I'm a sucker for a sad puppy.Copy !req
513. This doesn't affect our bet, Will.
I still found a date first.Copy !req
514. Stop it! Let go of me, you creep!Copy !req
515. Eugene, what are you doing? I thought...Copy !req
516. our agreement was
you could come to my party...Copy !req
517. but you couldn't falsely arrest anybody.Copy !req
518. This isn't a false arrest.Copy !req
519. This is the shoplifter I mistook you for.Copy !req
520. This girl's a kleptomaniac.Copy !req
521. - My silverware.
- That's my watch.Copy !req
522. My date.Copy !req
523. Let this be a lesson to all of you.Copy !req
524. You don't have to break the law
to have a happy Halloween.Copy !req
525. Good night, now.Copy !req
526. Will, may I have this dance?Copy !req
527. Yeah, baby. Your prince is in effect.Copy !req
528. Where do you live?Copy !req
529. I live with my stepmother
and her two daughters...Copy !req
530. in Encino.Copy !req
531. So, do you work every night?Copy !req
532. Yeah. I have to stay at the cafe and wait
for everyone to leave, and sweep up.Copy !req
533. Where'd you get this fly costume at?Copy !req
534. Well, I was sweeping up,
and an old lady came in...Copy !req
535. and she...Copy !req
536. It's a long story.Copy !req
537. Oh, no.Copy !req
538. I didn't know it was so late. I've got to go.Copy !req
539. Cindy, wait!Copy !req
540. I'm sorry, Will.Copy !req
541. Her slipper.Copy !req
542. Could it be?Copy !req
543. I've been touched by magic.Copy !req
544. Oh, my God.
I can't believe I dropped my shoe.Copy !req
545. Maybe I should try
some of those insole thingies.Copy !req
546. Listen, here's my number.
Call me tomorrow.Copy !req
547. I can't believe Carlton went to sleep.Copy !req
548. Why couldn't he help us clean up?Copy !req
549. if you found out the only person
in the world that would go out with you...Copy !req
550. was mentally deranged,
you'd go to bed early, too.Copy !req
551. Trick or treat!Copy !req
552. I'm sorry, we're out of candy.Copy !req
553. How come you guys came so late?Copy !req
554. We were watching Matlock.Copy !req
555. I got something better than candy.
A scary story.Copy !req
556. It was a cold, dreary, wintry night.Copy !req
557. October 31 was the date.Copy !req
558. There was a couple of little kids
dressed just like you...Copy !req
559. trick or treating in Bel-Air around 8:00.Copy !req
560. Now, normally Bel-Air was safe and sound.
But this year, things were ill.Copy !req
561. But, as on every Halloween,
the parents sent their kids out...Copy !req
562. not knowing this year it wasn't chill.Copy !req
563. There was a rude awakening
in this Bel-Air town...Copy !req
564. no more tranquility or peace.Copy !req
565. Not Jason, Michael Myers,
or Freddie Krueger...Copy !req
566. but this monster was called
the Bel-Air Beast.Copy !req
567. This monster was dreadfully ugly...Copy !req
568. and he bothers you when you're all alone.Copy !req
569. A face like nothing
you've ever seen before...Copy !req
570. and he reeks of Polo cologne.Copy !req
571. He stalks his victims slowly,
with the world's most terrible breath.Copy !req
572. But he doesn't use an axe or a chain saw...Copy !req
573. he talks his victims to death.Copy !req
574. So if you see this monster...Copy !req
575. run and don't look back, kids.Copy !req
576. This monster's called the Bel-Air Beast...Copy !req
577. and, oh, my goodness, there he is!Copy !req