The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air 1x8

1. MMM MMM MMM.

2. HAVE MERCY.

3. OOH.

4. MMM MMM MMM.

5. W-WHAT'S THAT, JODY?

6. YEAH, YOU CAN PICK ME UP AT 8:00, BABY.

7. OH, YES, LORD. YOUR RED TUBE TOP.

8. ASKING OUT MAGAZINES, WILL?

9. I DON'T KNOW.

10. EVEN PAPER PRODUCTS HAVE SOME STANDARDS.

11. W-WHAT'S THAT, JODY?

12. OH, NO, THAT'S AS TALL AS HE'LL EVER BE.

13. HILARY, YOU KNOW I DON'T LIKE WEARING COSTUMES.

14. BUT, DAD, I'M COMING TO HILARY'S PARTY

15. AS A BALLERINA.

16. WELL, THAT'S THE ONE THING I WANTED TO COME AS.

17. AND IT'S TAKEN? SO SORRY.

18. PLEASE, DADDY,

19. I WANT MY HALLOWEEN PARTY

20. TO TURN OUT REALLY GOOD.

21. COULDN'T YOU WEAR, LIKE,

22. A VERY TAILORED CLOWN SUIT OR SOMETHING?

23. COME ON, UNCLE PHIL, MAN,

24. YOU JUST THROW A HAIR PIECE ON

25. AND COME AS MR. T.

26. YEAH, DAD. WE'RE ALL WEARING COSTUMES.

27. I HAVE SOME BAD NEWS FOR BOTH OF YOU.

28. YOU'RE NOT INVITED.

29. WHY NOT?

30. EVERY TIME I HAVE A PARTY,

31. YOU SPEND ALL NIGHT TRYING TO HIT ON MY GIRLFRIENDS.

32. WAIT A MINUTE, HILARY.

33. EVERYONE IN THE FAMILY IS INVITED.

34. BESIDES I'M SURE CARLTON AND WILL HAVE DATES.

35. OH, YEAH. YEAH. OF COURSE.

36. OODLES. OODLES.

37. HUH. WELL, I GUESS ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE.

38. WE'D BETTER GET GOING. I NEED TO GET MY COSTUME,

39. AND THE MALL CLOSES IN EIGHT HOURS.

40. WE ALL NEED COSTUMES. LET'S GO!

41. WON'T THIS BE FUN?

42. NO.

43. COME ON, PHILIP. GET IN THE HALLOWEEN SPIRIT.

44. BOO.

45. SO WHAT'S THAT, CARLTON?

46. YOU DO NOT HAVE A DATE FOR TONIGHT.

47. LIKE YOU DO?

48. WHO ARE YOU TAKING, PAGE 42?

49. CARLTON, ALL I HAVE TO DO IS WALK IN A MALL,

50. AND I GET ANY GIRL I WANT.

51. IT'S THE LAW OF NATURE.

52. IT'S CALLED THE SURVIVAL OF THE HANDSOMEST.

53. WILL, I DON'T EVEN HAVE TO STEP INTO THE MALL.

54. GIRLS SURROUND ME IN THE PARKING LOT

55. AND RIP THE DOORS OFF MY CAR.

56. WOULD YOU LIKE TO PUT YOUR MONEY WHERE YOUR MOUTH IS?

57. AH, A BETTING MAN.

58. I BET YOU THAT I GET A DATE

59. AND YOU DON'T.

60. THIS IS A SUCKER BET, WILL.

61. WITHIN AN HOUR, I'LL HAVE A GORGEOUS DATE

62. AND A GREAT HALLOWEEN COSTUME.

63. YOU BETTER BUY THE MASK FIRST.

64. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.

65. OK. WE'LL MEET BACK AT THE CAR AT 5:00.

66. OH, AND CARLTON AND WILL, GOOD LUCK.

67. ALL RIGHT, WILL,

68. LET THE GREAT PICK-UP CONTEST BEGIN.

69. CARLTON, THIS IS GOING TO BE ABOUT AS MUCH OF A CONTEST

70. AS MIKE TYSON VERSUS FRED SAVAGE.

71. WELCOME TO CROISSANTS APLENTY.

72. I'M CINDY, YOUR WAITRESS.

73. YO, WHAT'S UP, CINDY?

74. I'M WILL, AND THIS IS CARLTON, MY GEEK.

75. CINDY, WE NEED A WOMAN'S POINT OF VIEW.

76. WHICH ONE OF US DO YOU FIND MORE ATTRACTIVE?

77. MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER?

78. I'VE HAVE THE GOAT CHEESE AND PROSCIUTTO CROISSANT.

79. Y'ALL GOT ANY RIBS?

80. OK, BACK TO THE BET. A DATE IS DEFINED

81. AS A FEMALE WHO ARRIVES

82. AT THE PARTY BY MIDNIGHT TONIGHT.

83. AND LET ME CLARIFY SOMETHING FOR YOU, CARLTON.

84. SHE HAS TO BE A HUMAN BEING.

85. I SAW YOU LOOKING IN THE PET STORE.

86. HILARY, I REALLY DON'T THINK

87. THIS STORE IS GOING TO HAVE MY BALLERINA COSTUME.

88. ASHLEY, SWEETIE, YOU DON'T WANT TO COME TO MY HALLOWEEN PARTY

89. AS A BORING BALLERINA.

90. BUT, HILARY, I WANT TO COME AS SOMETHING PRETTY.

91. THERE. YOU'RE CHARLIE CHAPLIN.

92. WHO'S CHARLIE CHAPLIN?

93. HE WAS A SILENT MOVIE STAR.

94. SO TAKE A HINT. LET'S GET MY OUTFITS.

95. OUTFITS?

96. HOW MANY COSTUMES DO YOU NEED?

97. AT LEAST FIVE. I'M GOING AS A RUNWAY MODEL.

98. ANYTHING I CAN HELP YOU WITH TODAY, SIR?

99. NO, NO. I'M JUST BROWSING.

100. ACTUALLY, I'M SUPPOSED TO BE SHOPPING FOR

101. A HALLOWEEN COSTUME.

102. OH, WHAT'S THIS? OH, IT'S ONE OF THOSE THINGS

103. FOR FINDING YOUR LOST KEYS, HUH?

104. YES, BUT THIS ONE IS TOTALLY NEW.

105. ARE YOU CONSTANTLY MISPLACING YOUR KEYS?

106. JUST TOUCH THE BUTTON ON THE HANDSOME LOCATOR UNIT,

107. AND THE KEY RING EMITS

108. A GENTLE AND INSISTENT BEEP TONE

109. TO ALERT YOU TO THEIR WHEREABOUTS.

110. OH, THAT'S NICE, BUT WHAT'S NEW ABOUT THAT?

111. WELL, SUPPOSE YOU MISPLACE YOUR PRIMARY LOCATOR UNIT.

112. JUST USE THE EQUALLY HANDSOME SECONDARY UNIT

113. AND LISTEN FOR THE PRIMARY UNIT'S OWN DISTINCTIVE WARBLING.

114. THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.

115. WHAT'S THIS?

116. IT'S A DYNATRONICS AUDIO HABITAT ENHANCER.

117. I COULD USE ONE OF THOSE.

118. WHAT'S IT DO?

119. IT PRODUCES A PLEASANT, RELAXING OCEAN SOUND,

120. DROWNING OUT ANY UNPLEASANT NOISE POLLUTION.

121. DO YOU HAVE THAT PROBLEM IN YOUR HOUSE?

122. OH, BOY, DO I. MY WIFE'S NEPHEW.

123. THE FIRST WEEK HE MOVED IN WITH US,

124. THERE WAS NON-STOP DRUMMING IN THE HOUSE.

125. ASHLEY, HONEY...

126. WHERE IS YOUR VIOLIN?

127. BIG SAL HAS IT.

128. BIG SAL?

129. HE OWNS THIS REALLY GREAT STORE

130. WHERE YOU DON'T NEED ANY MONEY.

131. YOU JUST GO IN AND GIVE HIM SOMETHING

132. YOU DON'T EVEN WANT ANYMORE,

133. AND HE GIVES YOU THIS TICKET, AND THEN...

134. A PAWNSHOP?

135. YOU TOOK HER TO A PAWNSHOP?

136. YEAH. IT WAS REALLY HARD, TOO, MAN.

137. YOU DON'T HAVE TOO MANY PAWNSHOPS IN BEL AIR.

138. THAT'S REALLY A SHAME.

139. I HAD TO GO ALL THE WAY TO EAST L.A.

140. EAST L.A.?

141. THEY GAVE ME A GREAT DEAL.

142. THEY GAVE YOU A SET OF DRUMS.

143. AND...

144. I MADE THEM THROW IN A LITTLE GIFT FOR EACH OF YOU.

145. CLOSE YOUR EYES.

146. VIVIAN!

147. I WANT MY PRESENT.

148. OK. OPEN.

149. OH, WILL, WHAT A LOVELY ANTIQUE NECKLACE.

150. WHAT IS THIS?

151. DADDY, IT'S A DIAMOND.

152. NO, IT ISN'T.

153. YOU DON'T LIKE IT?

154. NO, I DO NOT.

155. CAN I HAVE IT?

156. HOW DARE YOU PAWN HER VIOLIN.

157. SHE DON'T EVEN LIKE PLAYING IT NO MORE.

158. SHE WILL LEARN TO LIKE IT LATER.

159. A YOUNG WOMAN WHO CAN PLAY A VIOLIN

160. IS AN ACCOMPLISHED YOUNG LADY.

161. YO, A GIRLIE THAT CAN PLAY THE DRUMS

162. CAN WRITE HER OWN TICKET.

163. WILL,

164. I WANT THE BEST FOR ASHLEY.

165. WHEN I WAS A KID,

166. I LOVED CLASSICAL MUSIC,

167. BUT MY PARENTS COULDN'T AFFORD LESSONS.

168. I USED TO STAND OUT IN THE PARKING LOT

169. OF THE PHILHARMONIC HOPING TO CATCH

170. A SPARE NOTE ON THE NIGHT AIR.

171. PHILIP, WHEN I MET YOU, YOU WERE INTO JAMES BROWN.

172. HE LIKED JAMES BROWN?

173. HE EVEN WORE HIS HAIR LIKE HIM.

174. HE HAD HAIR?

175. YOU KNOW, IT IS POSSIBLE

176. TO LIKE BOTH CLASSICAL MUSIC AND JAMES BROWN.

177. AND I COULD NOT AGREE MORE,

178. SO LET'S LET ASHLEY PLAY WHATEVER SHE WANTS.

179. SHE SPENT AN ENTIRE YEAR ON THE VIOLIN,

180. SO IF SHE WANTS TO TRY SOMETHING NEW, LET HER.

181. YOU TELL HIM, AUNT VIV.

182. AND AS FOR YOU, YOUNG MAN...

183. LOVE YOU.

184. THE NEXT TIME YOU DECIDE TO VISIT A PAWNSHOP...

185. DON'T.

186. NOW, ARE WE CLEAR ON THAT?

187. YES.

188. AHEM. MASTER WILLIAM,

189. THERE IS A YOUNG GENTLEMAN DOWNSTAIRS

190. WITH A RATHER LARGE RADIO

191. WHO IS HERE TO SEE YOU.

192. HE CLAIMS HIS NAME IS JAZZ.

193. YO, WORD UP, SEND HIM UP.

194. NO, NO. WHO IS THIS JAZZ FELLOW?

195. YO, I HEARD THE BOY AT A CLUB. HE IS ALL OF THAT.

196. I HOPE HE'S GOING TO BE ASHLEY'S NEW MUSIC TEACHER.

197. MR. JAZZ.

198. IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU, JAZZ.

199. HOW DO YOU DO? I'M MR. BANKS.

200. YOU GOT THAT RIGHT.

201. MAN, YOU LOADED!

202. YO, WHAT'S UP, J?

203. COME ON, PHILIP, LET'S JUST LEAVE THEM ALONE.

204. I ASKED HIM TO TAKE HER TO HER LESSON...

205. I KNOW, BABY. TELL MAMA ALL ABOUT IT.

206. ASH, HOW ABOUT LETTING JAZZ GET BUSY ONE TIME?

207. EXCUSE ME.

208. I'M LOOKING FOR THAT STORE WITH THE SAFARI CLOTHES.

209. I CAN'T REMEMBER THE NAME,

210. BUT I THINK THERE'S SOME TYPE OF PRODUCE IN IT.

211. BANANA REPUBLIC.

212. THAT'S IT. THANK YOU.

213. YOU KNOW, YOU HAVE A BEAUTIFUL SPEAKING VOICE.

214. YOU'RE PROBABLY A DYNAMITE SINGER.

215. WELL, I'M OK.

216. YOU WANT TO RECORD YOUR OWN SONG? 8.95.

217. I REALLY HAVE TO SHOP FOR A HALLOWEEN COSTUME.

218. WELL, THAT'S TOO BAD,

219. BECAUSE YOU'RE THE FIRST PERSON I'VE MET

220. WHO I THINK COULD MAKE

221. A PROFESSIONAL QUALITY RECORDING.

222. HI. MAY I HELP YOU?

223. I THINK SO.

224. YOU LOOK LIKE A WOMAN WITH GOOD TASTE.

225. TONIGHT IS MY SISTER'S HALLOWEEN PARTY,

226. AND I WAS WONDERING IF YOU CAN HONOR ME BY...

227. SHOWING ME THAT PEN.

228. OH, CERTAINLY.

229. THIS PEN WAS MANUFACTURED IN FRANCE.

230. IT HAS A 14-KARAT GOLD NIB, AND IT'S HAND-LACQUERED.

231. THE PRICE IS...

232. DO I LOOK LIKE THE KIND OF MAN

233. WHO WOULD QUIBBLE ABOUT A FEW DOLLARS?

234. WELL, THAT'S VERY NICE,

235. BECAUSE MOST OF MY CUSTOMERS WOULD BE SHOCKED

236. AT A PEN THAT COSTS $300.

237. AREN'T THESE DANCERS GREAT?

238. OH, DO YOU LIKE DANCERS?

239. I THINK DANCERS

240. ARE THE SEXIEST GUYS IN THE WHOLE WORLD.

241. WORD? HEY, YO, BABY. PEEP THIS.

242. HI, SHAUNA. I'D LIKE TO TRY THESE ON.

243. HILARY, HI. I DIDN'T EVEN SEE YOU COME IN.

244. I WAS JUST GETTING MY OVERVIEW OF YOUR NEW STOCK.

245. IT IS ALL WONDERFUL.

246. WAIT TILL YOU SEE WHAT I'VE HELD FOR YOU.

247. THANK YOU!

248. IT IS SO IMPORTANT TO HAVE FRIENDS IN RETAIL.

249. I'VE TRIED TO EXPLAIN THAT TO MY LITTLE SISTER.

250. HILARY, I'D LOVE TO MEET HER.

251. WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO BRING HER IN?

252. OH, SHE'S RIGHT HERE.

253. ASHLEY, SAY HI TO SHAUNA.

254. HELLO?

255. ANYWAY, I NEED SOME OUTFITS

256. FOR MY HALLOWEEN PARTY TONIGHT.

257. OH, THAT SHOULD BE FUN.

258. AS LONG AS MY COUSIN WILL DOESN'T RUIN IT.

259. YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN WHAT HE DID AT OUR LAST PARTY.

260. OH, MY GOD!

261. PHILIP, PHILIP,

262. DON'T MAKE A BIG THING OUT OF IT.

263. IF THIS IS HOW HE FEELS COMFORTABLE,

264. HE'S NOT KILLING ANYBODY.

265. PHILIP, AREN'T YOU GOING TO INTRODUCE WILL?

266. INTRODUCE HIM.

267. WELL, STEVE, DAVID, HENRY...

268. THIS IS WILL, MY NEPHEW BY MARRIAGE.

269. WILL, THESE ARE MY PARTNERS

270. IN THE LAW FIRM OF FURTH, WINN & MEYER.

271. HEY, EARTH, WIND & FIRE!

272. WHEN'S YOUR NEXT ALBUM COMING OUT?

273. WILL IS GOING TO GO

274. TO BEL AIR ACADEMY WITH CARLTON.

275. OH, GOOD FOR YOU, WILL.

276. I USED TO FENCE AT BEL AIR.

277. REALLY? HOW MUCH YOU THINK

278. WE COULD GET FOR THAT STEREO?

279. OH, THESE HORS D'OEUVRES LOOK TEMPTING.

280. HEY, DON'T MIND IF I DO.

281. WILL! THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE AT THIS TABLE.

282. OH, YOU'RE RIGHT.

283. ANY REQUESTS?

284. SWEETIE, WOULD YOU SAY GRACE, PLEASE?

285. YES, MOMMY.

286. AHEM!

287. THE EASY-TO-READ DIGITAL DISPLAY

288. KEEPS CONSTANT TRACK OF YOUR VITAL PENCIL SUPPLY.

289. AS YOU REMOVE THE PENCILS

290. FROM THE STURDY A-B-S PLASTIC CONTAINER,

291. THE POWERFUL MICROCOMPUTER BRAIN

292. CONTINUOUSLY UPDATES THE L-E-D READOUT,

293. AND WHEN THE NUMBER REACHES YOUR PRESET RESUPPLY LEVEL,

294. THE PENCIL MONITOR ALERTS YOU TO THE SHORTAGE

295. AND REMINDS YOU TO TAKE ACTION.

296. ONLY THREE PENCILS REMAIN.

297. PROCEED TO STATIONERY STORE IMMEDIATELY.

298. OH, I'LL TAKE IT.

299. BUT I BETTER GET MOVING.

300. I'M SURE MY WIFE'S PICKED OUT HER COSTUME BY NOW.

301. HEY, MAN, GIRLS ARE NOTHING BUT TROUBLE, MAN.

302. YEAH, WELL, YOU CAN'T LIVE WITH 'EM,

303. CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT 'EM.

304. YEAH, MAN.

305. ALL RIGHT, Y'ALL STAY COOL, MAN.

306. ALL RIGHT, CHILL, PRINCE.

307. BOYS, I'D LOVE TO GO TO THE HALLOWEEN PARTY TONIGHT,

308. BUT, WELL, I CAN ONLY GO WITH ONE OF YOU.

309. OK. TOUGH LUCK, CARLTON.

310. BEAT IT, SEE YOU, SCRAM, SAYONARA, PEACE OUT,

311. AND SO LONG, SCREWY.

312. HMM. NOT SO FAST.

313. I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU.

314. COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS.

315. NOW, DO YOU SEE THIS? THIS IS AN EXAMPLE

316. OF THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE TWO OF US.

317. I MEAN, WHILE CARLTON SNAPS AT EVERY OPPORTUNITY

318. TO TAKE A CHEAP SHOT,

319. I'M THE KINDEST, GENTLEST SOUL

320. YOU'LL EVER WANT TO MEET. BELIEVE ME.

321. I'M NICE TO ALL PEOPLE... YOUNG AND OLD.

322. LIKE A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO,

323. CARLTON'S GRANDMOTHER VISITED,

324. AND WHO KEPT HER COMPANY?

325. NOT CARLTON, ME.

326. IT'S 3:00 IN THE MORNING, WILL.

327. HOW DID YOU SEE ME?

328. MAMA KNOWS.

329. HEY, UH, LOOK, GRANNY, UM...

330. PLEASE DON'T TELL UNCLE PHIL.

331. I'M JUST LIKE A LITTLE BIT PAST MY CURFEW.

332. HOW MUCH IS A LITTLE?

333. WELL, LET'S JUST SAY

334. I WENT OUT AFTER I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE IN.

335. DON'T DO IT AGAIN.

336. ALL RIGHT. WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP SO LATE?

337. OH, CHILD, I HAD TO GET UP

338. AND GET BREAKFAST STARTED.

339. I DON'T KNOW WHAT Y'ALL GOT THAT GEOFFREY FOR.

340. 5-CARD DRAW?

341. YEAH, I'M WITH IT.

342. YOU KNOW, GRANNY, I REALLY LIKE YOU.

343. YOU AND GRANDPA, YOU HAVE FUN, TELL JOKES.

344. Y'ALL BUST ME UP.

345. THANK YOU, SON.

346. HEY, LOOK, GRANNY, IT'S LATE,

347. EVERYBODY'S ASLEEP... YOU CAN LEVEL WITH ME.

348. UNCLE PHIL'S ADOPTED, RIGHT?

349. OH, NOW, WE'RE REAL PROUD OF ZEKE.

350. DID YOU KNOW HE WON

351. THE YOUNG FARMERS OF AMERICA PIG RACING TROPHY?

352. NO, I DIDN'T KNOW THAT,

353. BUT I'D LOVE TO HAVE SOME DETAILS ABOUT THAT.

354. WON IT 4 YEARS RUNNING.

355. THEY HAD TO RETIRE HIS SLOP BUCKET.

356. SLOP BUCKET?

357. OH, I CAN'T WAIT TILL HE WAKES UP.

358. RESPECT YOUR ELDERS, SON.

359. MM-MMM. SEE? I BEAT YOU.

360. YOU KNOW,

361. HE WAS THE FIRST BLACK PRESIDENT

362. OF THE YOUNG FARMERS.

363. WAS THAT, LIKE, A BIG THING?

364. OH, MY, YES.

365. MM-MMM! I BEAT YOU AGAIN.

366. OH, THAT WAS AWFULLY SWEET OF YOU

367. TO PLAY CARDS WITH HER.

368. SWEET? WELL, SOME WOULD SAY THAT,

369. BUT IT WAS JUST ME BEING MY THOUGHTFUL SELF.

370. REALITY CHECK.

371. THIS GUY IS FAR FROM THOUGHTFUL.

372. HE IS THE MOST SELFISH, IRRESPONSIBLE PERSON

373. I HAVE EVER MET.

374. A FEW WEEKS AGO, I WENT ON A CAR TRIP,

375. AND THIS GUY CAUSED ALL KINDS OF TROUBLE.

376. PLANS FOR PALM SPRINGS...

377. 1... WORK ON GOLF SWING,

378. 2... REVIEW S.A.T. PRACTICE BOOK,

379. 3... ASK MR. FURTH ABOUT A SUMMER INTERNSHIP.

380. 4... GET THE STICK OUT OF YOUR BUTT.

381. WAY TO GO, WILL.

382. YOU ALMOST MADE US CRASH.

383. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING HERE, ANYWAY?

384. OH, COME ON, JUST RELAX, C.

385. PRETEND I'M NOT EVEN HERE.

386. GLADLY.

387. WHAT YOU EATING?

388. OH, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.

389. COULD I HAVE SOME?

390. ALL RIGHT, WILL.

391. I'LL SHARE MY SNACK WITH YOU

392. ON ONE CONDITION...

393. WHEN WE GET TO PALM SPRINGS,

394. YOU WILL BEHAVE LIKE A PROPER GENTLEMAN

395. AND TRY TO MAINTAIN SOME SENSE OF DECORUM

396. AND ETIQUETTE. UNDERSTOOD?

397. YEAH.

398. GOOD. WHAT DO YOU SAY TO AN OREO?

399. I SAY, "WHAT'S UP, CARLTON?"

400. HE HID IN THE BACKSEAT?

401. HMM. IT GOT WORSE.

402. BECAUSE OF HIS ANTICS,

403. WE GOT ARRESTED AND THROWN IN JAIL.

404. HE'S ONLY TELLING ONE SIDE OF THE STORY, MELINDA.

405. WHEN WE WERE IN JAIL, THIS BOY CRACKED.

406. I HAD TO DO EVERYTHING IN MY POWER

407. TO TRY TO HOLD HIM TOGETHER.

408. THIS IS TERRIBLE. I'M RUINED.

409. I'LL BE KICKED OUT OF THE GLEE CLUB.

410. I WON'T GET INTO PRINCETON.

411. I WON'T BE ADMITTED TO THE BAR.

412. NEITHER WILL I. THE COPS TOOK MY FAKE I.D.

413. OH, COME ON, MAN,

414. DON'T GIVE ME THAT MY-DOG-IS-DEAD FACE.

415. COME ON. LET'S SING.

416. I'M NOT SINGING.

417. COME ON.

418. THIS IS JUST RETARDED.

419. COME ON, MAN. LET IT GO. YOU'LL FEEL BETTER.

420. WELL, MELINDA, I'VE BEEN CHARITABLE SO FAR,

421. BUT NOW'S THE TIME TO TAKE OFF THE GLOVES.

422. YOU DON'T KNOW

423. WHAT A DATE WITH WILL IS LIKE.

424. ONE EVENING NOT SO LONG AGO,

425. WILL WAS WALKING A YOUNG LADY HOME...

426. HEH. YO, YO, I TOLD YOU, BABE,

427. A DATE WITH ME WOULD BE A NIGHT TO REMEMBER.

428. WHAT'D YOU THINK OF DINNER?

429. DINNER? IT WAS JUST A SLURPEE.

430. OH, I DID THAT FOR YOU, BABY.

431. YOU KNOW, KEEP THAT BOD OF YOURS SLIM, TRIM,

432. AND READY FOR ACTION.

433. WELL, YOUR HAMBURGER AND FRIES

434. SURE DID LOOK GOOD.

435. COME ON, BABY, THAT'S MAN FOOD.

436. IT'S GETTING AWFULLY LATE, WILL.

437. SHOULDN'T WE TAKE A CAB?

438. WELL, THAT'S AWFULLY EXPENSIVE, BABY.

439. LET'S JUST WALK DOWN THIS DARK ALLEY.

440. ALL RIGHT, PUNK,

441. YOUR MONEY OR YOUR GIRLFRIEND.

442. WELL, BROTHER, YOU'RE MAKING THIS TOO EASY.

443. WILL!

444. UNHAND HER!

445. AND WHO ARE YOU?

446. BANKS.

447. CARLTON BANKS.

448. HOOOOH!

449. UH, ONE SECOND, MELINDA, PLEASE.

450. CARLTON, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?

451. THAT NEVER HAPPENED.

452. IT COULD HAVE.

453. BESIDES, WHEN WE MADE THIS BET,

454. THERE WAS NOTHING IN THE RULES

455. THAT SAID NO LYING.

456. OH, OK. I GET IT.

457. WELL, YOU KNOW, 2 CAN PLAY AT THAT GAME.

458. HEY, WHAT WERE YOU TWO TALKING ABOUT?

459. OH, WELL, I WAS JUST ASKING CARLTON

460. HOW LONG HE'S BEEN A PATHOLOGICAL LIAR,

461. AND HE SAID EVER SINCE HE WAS THE EMPEROR OF CHINA.

462. YOU MEAN THE STORY WASN'T TRUE?

463. OF COURSE NOT. I'LL TELL YOU

464. WHAT A TYPICAL NIGHT WITH ME IS LIKE.

465. MASTER WILLIAM, YOU HAVE A VISITOR...

466. A MR. JACKSON.

467. OH, COME ON G. I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THESE INTERRUPTIONS.

468. LOOK, I GOT HOMEWORK FOREVER.

469. TELL MICHAEL I'LL HAVE TO WORK ON HIS DANCE STEPS LATER.

470. THAT'S BO JACKSON.

471. YO, WHAT'S UP, BABE?

472. AH, NO. WATCH THE HANDSHAKE, MAN.

473. THERE GOES BASEBALL SEASON.

474. YO, MY FAULT, MY FAULT. YO, WHAT YOU NEED, MAN?

475. WELL, I'M THROWING THIS FORMAL DINNER PARTY,

476. AND BO DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SERVE.

477. YO, NO PROBLEM. LET ME HOOK YOU UP

478. WITH MY RESIDENT FUN EXPERT.

479. HEY, YO, HEAV!

480. YOU RANG?

481. BO JACKSON, HEAVY D.

482. YO.

483. YO, BO.

484. BO, TELL HEAV YOUR PROBLEM.

485. HEAV, I'M THROWING THIS FORMAL DINNER PARTY,

486. AND WHEN IT COMES TO COOKING,

487. BO DON'T KNOW DIDDLEY.

488. I THINK THAT'S PRONOUNCED DIDDLEY, DIDDLEY...

489. DIDDLEY-DIDDLEY-DIDDLEY- DIDDLEY-DIDDLEY-DIDDLEY-

490. DIDDLEY-DIDDLEY-DIDDLEY- DIDDLEY-DEE.

491. HEAV, SHOW BO AROUND THE KITCHEN.

492. NO PROBLEM. FOLLOW ME, YOUR RUNNING BACKNESS.

493. HEY, WILL, THANKS SO MUCH, MAN,

494. FOR LETTING ME BE YOUR CLOSE AND PERSONAL FRIEND.

495. BACK AT YOU, BABE.

496. HELLO?

497. HEY, WILL, WHAT'S UP, MAN?

498. THIS IS MALCOLM.

499. YO! WHAT UP, HOMES?

500. LISTEN, I'M GOING OUT ON THIS DATE TONIGHT,

501. AND I REALLY WANT TO IMPRESS THIS GIRL,

502. AND I WAS WONDERING

503. IF MAYBE I COULD TELL HER I KNOW YOU.

504. MALCOLM, MALCOLM, MALCOLM.

505. I MEAN, LOOK, I UNDERSTAND YOUR INSTINCT,

506. BUT YOU SHOULDN'T TRY TO IMPRESS A GIRL

507. WITH WHO YOU KNOW.

508. IT'S MUCH BETTER

509. THAT SHE LIKE YOU JUST FOR YOURSELF.

510. AND IF SHE GETS TO KNOW THE MALCOLM THAT I KNOW,

511. I DON'T THINK SHE'LL BE ABLE TO RESIST.

512. THANKS A LOT, WILL.

513. MAN, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO

514. WITHOUT YOU AS A CLOSE, PERSONAL FRIEND.

515. PEACE, MAN.

516. HEY, PEACE, BABE.

517. MASTER WILLIAM,

518. YOU HAVE ANOTHER VISITOR.

519. COME ON, G, PLEASE.

520. I GOT TO GET MY HOMEWORK DONE.

521. TERRIBLY SORRY, SIR,

522. BUT HE'S OTHERWISE ENGAGED.

523. BUT I HAPPEN TO BE HIS CLOSE, PERSONAL FRIEND.

524. YO!

525. PSHH. PSHH.

526. WILL, MY MAN, I GOT A SERIOUS PROBLEM.

527. TONIGHT I'M SUPPOSED TO GO IN THE STUDIO

528. AND FINISH UP THIS RECORD.

529. I CAN'T FIND A LEAD SINGER.

530. NOW, THIS IS REALLY IMPORTANT TO ME.

531. I NEED YOUR HELP THIS TIME, MAN.

532. FIRST OF ALL, LET'S CHECK OUR EGO AT THE DOOR.

533. NOW... NOW, LOOK, Q, I SAVED YOUR BUTT BEFORE.

534. I KNOW.

535. THAT... THAT THRILLER THING.

536. LOOK, Q, AS ALWAYS, YOU NEED A SINGER,

537. I'LL GET YOU A SINGER, MAN.

538. Q...

539. YO, WHAT'S UP, MAN. THIS IS PRINCE.

540. YEAH, I GOT QUINCY JONES OVER HERE.

541. YO, DUDE IS IN PAIN.

542. COULD YOU COME RIGHT OVER?

543. ALL RIGHT. IN A MINUTE, BABE.

544. WHO WAS THAT?

545. OH, A CLOSE, PERSONAL FRIEND.

546. MR. AL B. SURE.

547. WHAT'S GOING ON, MAN?

548. YO, WHAT'S UP, AL? HEY, MAN,

549. I'M GLAD YOU COULD COME ON SUCH SHORT NOTICE.

550. YO, I NEED A BIG FAVOR.

551. ANYTHING FOR YOU.

552. QUINCY JONES, AL B. SURE.

553. AL B.

554. HEY. WHAT'S HAPPENING?

555. GOOD TO SEE YOU, MAN.

556. HEY, Y'ALL GET TO WORK ON THAT TRACK.

557. LET'S DO IT.

558. WILL,

559. 8:30, I GOT TO SEE A DIFFERENT WORLD.

560. I'M SORRY.

561. YEAH, MAN. I LOVE THAT SHOW.

562. REALLY? HEY, YO, K.

563. WHAT? WHAT'S HAPPENING, BABE?

564. PSHH. PSHH.

565. YEAH, BUDDY.

566. I WANT YOU TO MEET A COUPLE OF CLOSE,

567. PERSONAL FRIENDS OF MINE.

568. QUINCY JONES, AL B. SURE, KADEEM HARDISON.

569. AL B.

570. MAN, THIS DUDE KNOWS EVERYBODY.

571. HOW'D YOU GUYS MEET?

572. HOW'D WE MEET?

573. WELL, I'M A BIG GIANTS FAN

574. AND WILL IS A BIG PHILADELPHIA EAGLES FAN.

575. IT WAS THE BIGGEST GAME OF THE SEASON

576. AND THE GIANTS WERE UP BY 5.

577. RANDALL CUNNINGHAM HAD JUST BEEN KNOCKED OUT OF THE GAME

578. BY LAWRENCE TAYLOR.

579. THE EAGLES WERE DESPERATE.

580. THEY HAD NOWHERE TO GO.

581. THEY KNEW THAT THERE WAS ONLY ONE MAN IN PHILADELPHIA

582. TO BE CALLED ON IN THIS SITUATION.

583. THEY LOOKED TO THE STANDS.

584. THERE HE STOOD... WILL SMITH.

585. HE CAME DOWN, GOT IN THE GAME,

586. THREW A 72-YARD TOUCHDOWN PASS,

587. TO HIMSELF...

588. IN STREET CLOTHES,

589. WHEN THE GAME WAS OVER, THE CROWD WENT CRAZY.

590. THEY MOBBED, THEY PULLED HIM. THEY RIPPED HIM AND PULLED HIM.

591. HE BROKE AWAY. HE RAN.

592. HE GAVE THE GAME BALL TO THIS LITTLE KID

593. STANDING ON THE SIDELINE WITH TEARS IN HIS EYES.

594. THAT LITTLE KID WAS ME.

595. I LOVE YOU, MAN.

596. I LOVE YOU, MAN. STRAIGHT UP. STRAIGHT UP.

597. I KNOW, MAN.

598. HEY, YOU KNOW, FELLAS,

599. STRAIGHT UP, STRAIGHT UP,

600. I FEEL A LOT OF LOVE IN THIS ROOM.

601. OH, YES, BROTHER.

602. AND I JUST WANT TO SAY,

603. I FEEL REAL, REAL HAPPY

604. TO HAVE SUCH GOOD, CLOSE PERSONAL FRIENDS

605. AS YOU GUYS.

606. YEAH, MAN.

607. COME ON, Y'ALL, LET'S SING.

608. HIT IT.

609. BABY, THAT WAS A...

610. THAT WAS A KIND OF SLOW NIGHT FOR ME.

611. SO COME ON, WHAT'S UP? COME TO THE PARTY WITH ME.

612. NO, COME TO THE PARTY WITH ME.

613. GUYS, GUYS, LISTEN,

614. YOU HAVE BOTH MADE SUCH GOOD CASES FOR YOURSELF,

615. IT MAKES IT EVEN HARDER TO CHOOSE,

616. SO... I'M GONNA HAVE TO GO WITH BASIC...

617. RAW...

618. PHYSICAL ATTRACTION.

619. WHAT TIME SHOULD I BE THERE, CARLTON?

620. EXCUSE ME.

621. LET ME SEE THAT HAT.

622. OK, BUT I DON'T THINK IT WORKS WITH THAT OUTFIT.

623. DID YOU PAY FOR THIS?

624. NO. I GUESS I FORGOT TO.

625. UH-HUH. BUT YOU JUST HAD TO HAVE IT.

626. ME? YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING.

627. DERBYS WENT OUT SIX MONTHS AGO.

628. LET'S TAKE A LITTLE WALK TO THE SECURITY OFFICE.

629. YOU CAN GIVE ME YOUR FASHION DOs AND DON'Ts THERE.

630. I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE GONE AS A BALLERINA.

631. OW!

632. WHOO!

633. VIVIAN. VIVIAN!

634. VIV... UH... WHAT ARE YOU, UH...

635. OK, PEOPLE, LET'S GO. LET'S MOVE ALONG.

636. THERE'S NOTHING TO SEE HERE.

637. THERE'S NO SHOW. LET'S GO.

638. MOVE ALONG, PEOPLE, PLEASE.

639. WELCOME BACK TO CROISSANTS APLENTY.

640. I DIDN'T ORDER...

641. UGH! WHAT KIND OF CROISSANT IS THAT?

642. IT'S PEANUT BUTTER. AND IT'S ON THE HOUSE.

643. LOOKS LIKE IT'S BEEN ON THE FLOOR.

644. YOU LOOK A LITTLE DOWN.

645. WHAT, DID YOU LOSE THE CONTEST

646. TO YOUR FRIEND?

647. OH, YEAH. WHO'D HAVE GUESSED IT?

648. I MEAN, ESPECIALLY IN A PLACE THIS WELL-LIT.

649. WELL, STRANGE THINGS HAPPEN ON HALLOWEEN.

650. UHH. DON'T REMIND ME.

651. I GOT TO GO TO THAT PARTY TONIGHT ON THE SOLO TIP.

652. OH, LOOK, DON'T FEEL TOO BAD.

653. THERE'S BOUND TO BE AT LEAST ONE OTHER GUY

654. THERE WITHOUT A DATE.

655. YEAH. YOU KNOW, CINDY, YOU'RE PROBABLY RIGHT.

656. AH, MASTER WILLIAM,

657. THERE WERE 3 PHONE MESSAGES FOR YOU...

658. FROM A MISS KAREN,

659. A MISS JUDY, AND A MISS TRISHA.

660. YO, WORD? WHAT'D THEY SAY?

661. "HOW DESPERATE DO YOU THINK I AM?"

662. "NOT ON YOUR LIFE."

663. AND, "HA HA HA HA HA...

664. HA."

665. SO, WHY DID THE SECURITY GUARD

666. STOP YOU, HILARY?

667. IT SEEMS I FIT THE DESCRIPTION

668. OF A SHOPLIFTER THEY'VE BEEN TRYING TO CATCH.

669. WHAT WAS THE DESCRIPTION?

670. I DON'T KNOW EXACTLY, BUT I THINK IT'S FAIR TO GUESS

671. THAT "STUNNING" WAS PART OF IT.

672. EUGENE SAID HE WAS SORRY.

673. WHO IS EUGENE?

674. THE SECURITY GUARD.

675. HILARY INVITED HIM TO THE PARTY.

676. WHY DID YOU DO THAT?

677. SEEMED TO SPEED UP THE PAPERWORK.

678. WELL, BEFORE THE PARTY STARTS,

679. I THINK I'LL GO UP AND GET SOME REST.

680. WAIT A MINUTE. PHILIP...

681. YOU DIDN'T GET A COSTUME.

682. YOU WENT TO THAT SILLY GADGET STORE.

683. BUT I DIDN'T BUY A SILLY GADGET.

684. I BOUGHT A STAPLER.

685. Computer voice: ONLY 3 PENCILS REMAIN.

686. PROCEED TO STATIONERY STORE IMMEDIATELY.

687. EVERYBODY GO GET READY.

688. I'M GONNA GO UP AND PUT MY COSTUME ON NOW.

689. WHAT IS IT, HILARY?

690. A GORGEOUS YVES-SAINT LAURENT DRESS.

691. OOOH! SCARY.

692. I JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH MELINDA,

693. MY DATE.

694. SHE'S COMING AS MRS. SANTA CLAUS.

695. I HOPE THAT DOESN'T CONFLICT

696. WITH WHAT YOUR DATE WILL BE WEARING.

697. FOR YOUR INFORMATION, I HAVE A DATE.

698. WHAT'S HER NAME?

699. UH, J-JANET... GIRLIE.

700. GEOFFREY, ISN'T THIS A FABULOUS PARTY?

701. THE ENTIRE BRAT PACK IS HERE,

702. PLUS 2 TWIN PEAKERS.

703. OH, MISS ASHLEY.

704. YOU LOOK ABSOLUTELY SPLENDID IN YOUR COSTUME.

705. WELL, I WANTED TO COME AS A BALLERINA,

706. BUT I GUESS A SHORT GUY WITH A MUSTACHE

707. IS THE NEXT BEST THING.

708. HA! CARLTON. WHITE FACE AND LIPSTICK.

709. BOY, YOU'RE LIVING OUT ALL YOUR FANTASIES TONIGHT, HUH?

710. SO, SORE LOSER, IS YOUR DATE HERE YET?

711. SHE'LL BE HERE.

712. WILL, FOR YOUR INFORMATION,

713. THE SKELETON OVER THERE IS ELIZABETH McGOVERN.

714. AND THE UNICORN STANDING NEXT TO HER

715. IS KEVIN BACON, AND THEY BOTH WISH

716. YOU WOULD STOP HITTING ON THEM.

717. AND WHY'D YOU COME AS ELTON JOHN?

718. I'M SUPPOSED TO BE SUPERFLY, HILARY.

719. WELL, YOUR SUPERFLY IS OPEN.

720. TRICK OR TREAT!

721. CAN I TAKE A LOOK INSIDE THOSE BAGS, PLEASE?

722. WHAT KIND OF OUTFIT IS THAT

723. FOR A HALLOWEEN PARTY?

724. I'M GOING AS COMFORTABLE MAN.

725. IS THAT A COMIC BOOK HERO?

726. SORT OF. HE HAS SUPERHUMAN BILL-PAYING POWERS,

727. SO HE GETS TO DRESS HOWEVER HE LIKES.

728. LOVE THAT COSTUME, DADDY.

729. OH, NO.

730. WELL, PHILIP, DO YOU KNOW WHO I'M SUPPOSED TO BE?

731. I DON'T CARE. YOU LOOK FANTASTIC.

732. WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT, CLOWN?

733. OH, LOOK, THERE'S KIEFER SUTHERLAND

734. TALKING TO RIVER PHOENIX.

735. SO, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR DATE, CARLTON?

736. DID SHE HIT HER HEAD

737. AND HER EYESIGHT COME BACK?

738. SHE'S POWDERING HER NOSE.

739. I CAN UNDERSTAND YOUR BITTERNESS, WILL.

740. THE PARTY'S ALMOST OVER, AND YOU LOST THE BET.

741. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN...

742. CINDERELLA.

743. OOOH. OOOH.

744. HELLO.

745. IS MY PRINCE HERE?

746. HELLO, WILL.

747. D-DO I KNOW YOU?

748. GIVE A GUY YOUR LAST PEANUT BUTTER CROISSANT,

749. AND HE FORGETS YOU IN A MINUTE.

750. CINDY? THE WAITRESS?

751. THAT'S RIGHT.

752. YO, BABY, THAT HAIR NET WAS DOING NOTHING FOR YOU.

753. WILL, CAN I BE YOUR DATE TONIGHT?

754. BABY, FORGET TONIGHT.

755. LET'S BLOCK OUT THE NEXT 50 YEARS.

756. WHY'D YOU DECIDE TO COME?

757. WELL, WHEN THE TWO OF YOU SHOWED UP

758. AT THE RESTAURANT,

759. I THOUGHT YOU WERE JUST A COUPLE OF MACHO CLODS,

760. BUT WHEN YOU CAME BACK, YOU WERE SO SWEET.

761. WELL, I GUESS I'M JUST A SUCKER

762. FOR A SAD PUPPY.

763. THIS DOESN'T AFFECT OUR BET, WILL.

764. I STILL FOUND A DATE FIRST.

765. STOP IT! LET GO OF ME, YOU CREEP!

766. EUGENE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

767. I THOUGHT OUR AGREEMENT WAS

768. YOU COULD COME TO MY PARTY,

769. BUT YOU COULDN'T FALSELY ARREST ANYBODY.

770. THIS ISN'T A FALSE ARREST.

771. THIS IS THE SHOPLIFTER I MISTOOK YOU FOR.

772. THIS GIRL'S A KLEPTOMANIAC.

773. MY SILVERWARE!

774. THAT'S MY WATCH.

775. MY DATE!

776. LET THIS BE A LESSON TO ALL OF YOU.

777. YOU DON'T HAVE TO BREAK THE LAW

778. TO HAVE A HAPPY HALLOWEEN.

779. GOOD NIGHT, NOW.

780. WILL, MAY I HAVE THIS DANCE?

781. YO, BABY. YOUR PRINCE IS IN EFFECT.

782. SO, WHERE DO YOU LIVE?

783. I LIVE WITH MY STEPMOTHER AND HER 2 DAUGHTERS...

784. IN ENCINO.

785. SO, DO YOU WORK EVERY NIGHT?

786. YEAH. I HAVE TO STAY AT THE CAFÉ

787. AND WAIT FOR EVERYONE TO LEAVE

788. AND SWEEP UP.

789. WHERE'D YOU GET THIS FLY COSTUME AT?

790. WELL, I WAS SWEEPING UP, AND AN OLD LADY CAME IN,

791. AND SHE... WELL, SHE...

792. WELL, IT'S A LONG STORY.

793. OH, NO! I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS SO LATE.

794. I'VE GOT TO GO.

795. YO, YO. CINDY, WAIT!

796. I'M SORRY, WILL.

797. UH-OH.

798. HER SLIPPER.

799. COULD IT BE?

800. I'VE BEEN TOUCHED BY MAGIC.

801. OH, MY GOD.

802. I CAN'T BELIEVE I DROPPED MY SHOE.

803. MAYBE I SHOULD TRY

804. SOME OF THOSE INSOLE THINGIES.

805. LISTEN, HERE'S MY NUMBER.

806. CALL ME TOMORROW.

807. AH HA!

808. I CAN'T BELIEVE CARLTON WENT TO SLEEP.

809. WHY COULDN'T HE HELP US CLEAN UP?

810. ASH, IF YOU FOUND OUT THAT THE ONLY PERSON IN THE WORLD

811. THAT WOULD GO OUT WITH YOU WAS MENTALLY DERANGED,

812. YOU'D GO TO BED EARLY, TOO.

813. TRICK OR TREAT!

814. OH, I'M SORRY. WE'RE OUT OF CANDY.

815. OHH...

816. WELL, HOW COME YOU GUYS CAME SO LATE?

817. WE WERE WATCHING MATLOCK.

818. I GOT SOMETHING BETTER THAN CANDY...

819. A SCARY STORY.

820. YEAH!

821. IT WAS A COLD, DREARY, WINTRY NIGHT.

822. OCTOBER 31 WAS THE DATE.

823. THERE WAS A COUPLE OF LITTLE KIDS

824. DRESSED JUST LIKE YOU

825. TRICK OR TREATING IN BEL AIR AROUND 8:00.

826. NOW, NORMALLY BEL AIR WAS SAFE AND SOUND,

827. BUT THIS YEAR, THINGS WERE ILL.

828. BUT, AS ON EVERY HALLOWEEN,

829. THE PARENTS SENT THEIR KIDS OUT,

830. NOT KNOWING THIS YEAR IT WASN'T CHILL.

831. THERE WAS A RUDE AWAKENING IN THIS BEL AIR TOWN,

832. NO MORE TRANQUILITY OR PEACE.

833. NOT JASON, MICHAEL MYERS, OR FREDDIE KRUEGER,

834. BUT THIS MONSTER WAS CALLED THE BEL AIR BEAST.

835. THIS MONSTER WAS DREADFULLY UGLY,

836. AND HE BOTHERS YOU WHEN YOU'RE ALL ALONE.

837. A FACE LIKE NOTHING YOU'VE EVER SEEN BEFORE,

838. AND HE REEKS OF POLO COLOGNE.

839. HE STALKS HIS VICTIMS SLOWLY

840. WITH THE WORLD'S MOST TERRIBLE BREATH,

841. BUT HE DOESN'T USE AN AX OR A CHAIN SAW.

842. HE TALKS HIS VICTIMS TO DEATH.

843. SO, IF YOU SEE THIS MONSTER,

844. RUN AND DON'T LOOK BACK, KIDS.

845. THIS MONSTER'S CALLED THE BEL AIR BEAST...

846. AND, OH, MY GOODNESS, THERE HE IS!

847. CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.

848. CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE www.ncicap.org...