1. Mm! Mm, mm.
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2. Have mercy.
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3. Ooh! Mm, mm, mm!
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4. Mm-mm..
W-what's that, Jody?
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5. Yeah, you can pick me up
at 8:00, baby.
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6. Oh, yes, Lord.
Your red tube top.
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7. Asking out magazines, Will?
I don't know.
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8. Even paper products
have some standards.
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9. What's that, Jody? Oh. Oh, no.
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10. That's as tall as he'll ever be.
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11. Hilary, you know
I don't like wearing costumes.
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12. But, dad, I'm coming to Hilary's
party as a ballerina.
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13. Well, that's the one thing
I wanted to come as.
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14. And it's taken? Tsk!
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15. So sorry.
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16. Please, daddy,
I want my Halloween party
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17. to turn out really good.
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18. Couldn't you wear
like a very tailored
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19. clown suit or something?
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20. Come on, Uncle Phil, man,
you just throw a hairpiece on
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21. and come as Mr. T.
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22. Yeah, dad.
We're all wearing costumes.
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23. I have some bad news
for both of you.
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24. - You're not invited.
- Why not?
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25. Every time I have a party,
you spend all night
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26. trying to hit on my girlfriends.
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27. Wait a minute, Hilary.
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28. Everyone in the family
is invited.
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29. Besides, I'm sure Carlton
and Will have dates.
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30. - Oh, yeah, yeah, of course.
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
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31. - They're just Oodles.
- Oodles.
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32. Huh! Well, I guess
all things are possible.
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33. We better get going.
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34. I need to get my costume and
the mall closes in eight hours.
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35. Well, we all need costumes.
Let's go.
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36. - Won't this be fun?
- No.
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37. Come on, Philip.
Get in the Halloween spirit.
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38. Boo.
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39. So, what's that, Carlton?
Uh..
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40. You do not have a date
for tonight.
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41. Like you do?
Who are you taking?
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42. Uh, page 42?
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43. Carlton, all I have
to do is walk in a mall
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44. and I get any girl I want.
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45. It's the law of nature.
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46. It's called the survival
of the handsomest.
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47. Will, I don't even
have to step into the mall.
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48. Girls surround me
in the parking lot
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49. and rip the doors off my car.
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50. Would you like to put your money
where your mouth is?
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51. Ah, a betting man.
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52. I bet you that I get a date..
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53. and you don't.
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54. This is a sucker bet, Will.
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55. Within an hour,
I'll have a gorgeous date
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56. and a great Halloween costume.
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57. You better buy the mask first.
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58. Yo, yo, yo, baby. Ooh!
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59. How about some fries
to go with that shake?
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60. Sorry, I'm in no
fat head diet.
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61. Xcuse me, gurl,
would you like to do the limbo
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62. under a coconut tree?
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63. Will, do you mind railing in
your tongue for one moment?
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64. Now, before we all go
our separate ways
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65. I think it's right for me
to determine
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66. where and when
we all are gonna meet.
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67. Now I think 5 o'clock
should be ample time
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68. for all of us to shop
for costumes.
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69. We'll meet back at the car
at 5 o'clock sharp.
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70. - Mwah! Bye..
- Now get going. Good luck.
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71. - Bye-bye.
- Alright.
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72. And, Hilary, keep an eye
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73. on your little sister.
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74. Don't worry, mom,
I see shopping at the mall
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75. as an educational experience
for Ashley.
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76. When I see more and more young
people shopping by catalog..
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77. Well, don't get me started.
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78. Alright, Philip,
I'll see you at the car
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79. at 5 o'clock
with the costume?
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80. Oh, geez, Vivian,
can't I wear a black robe
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81. and go as a good marshal?
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82. Come on, Philip, be creative.
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83. Surprise me?
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84. Okay.
How about Sandra Day O'Connor?
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85. Alright, Will. Let the great
pick-up contest begin.
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86. Carlton, this is gonna be
about as much of a contest
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87. as Mike Tyson
versus Fred Savage.
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88. Welcome to Croissants Aplenty.
I'm Cindy, your waitress.
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89. Yo, what's up, Cindy?
Uh, I'm Will.
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90. And this is Carlton, my geek.
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91. Cindy, we need
a woman's point of view.
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92. Which one of us
do you find more attractive?
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93. May I take your order?
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94. I'll have the goat cheese
and the prosciutto croissant.
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95. Y'all got any ribs?
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96. Okay, back to the bet.
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97. A date is defined as a female
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98. who arrives at the party
by midnight tonight.
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99. Uh, and let me clarify
something for you, Carlton
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100. she has to be a human being.
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101. I saw you looking in
the pet store.
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102. Hilary!
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103. Stop by later.
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104. We have just got
a stretch velvet suit
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105. that has your name
written all over it.
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106. Be sure to hold it for me,
Ramon.
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107. Love you.
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108. Hilary, I really
don't think this store's
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109. gonna have my ballerina costume.
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110. Ashley, sweetie,
you don't wanna come to my
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111. Halloween party
as a boring ballerina.
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112. But, Hilary, I wanna come
in something pretty.
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113. There. You're Charlie Chaplin.
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114. - Who is Charlie Chaplin?
- He was a silent movie star.
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115. So take a hint.
Let's get my outfits.
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116. "Outfits?"
How many costumes do you need?
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117. At least five.
I'm going as a runway model.
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118. Anything I can
help you with today, sir?
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119. No, no, I'm just browsing.
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120. Well, actually,
I'm supposed to be shopping
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121. for a Halloween costume.
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122. Oh, what's this?
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123. Oh, it's one of those things
for finding
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124. your lost keys, huh?
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125. Yes, but this one
is totally new.
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126. Are you constantly misplacing
your keys?
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127. Just touch the button
on the hands in locator unit
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128. and the keyring emits a gentle
and insisting beep tone
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129. to alert you to the whereabouts.
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130. Oh, that's nice,
but what's new about that?
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131. Well, suppose you misplace
your primary locator unit.
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132. Just use the equally handsome
secondary unit
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133. and listen for the primary
unit's own distinctive warbling.
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134. That's a great idea.
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135. Well, what's this?
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136. It's a Dynatronics audio
habitat enhancer.
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137. Oh, I could use one of those.
What does it do?
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138. It produces a pleasant,
relaxing ocean sound
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139. drowning out any unpleasant
noise pollution.
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140. Do you have that problem
in your house?
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141. Oh, boy, do I! My wife's nephew.
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142. The first week
he moved in with us
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143. there was nonstop drumming
in the house.
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144. What the devil was that?
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145. I believe the technical term
is a rime shot.
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146. Who did it?
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147. Utter speculation, of course
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148. but my guess is Master William.
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149. Will..
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150. Will!
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151. Will!
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152. Will!
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153. Vivian.
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154. What?
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155. Ashley, honey..
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156. where is your violin?
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157. - Big Sal has it.
- Big Sal?
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158. He owns this really great store
where you don't need any money.
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159. You just go in and give him
something you don't even want
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160. anymore and he gives you
this ticket.
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161. - And then—
- A pawnshop?
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162. You took her to a pawnshop?
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163. Yeah, it was really hard,
too, man.
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164. Y-you don't have
too many pawnshops in Bel-Air.
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165. You know, that's really a shame.
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166. You know, I had to go
all the way to East LA.
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167. East LA?
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168. They gave me a great deal.
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169. They gave you a set of drums.
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170. And... I made them throw in
a little gift for each of you.
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171. - Close your eyes.
- Vivian!
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172. I want my present.
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173. - Okay, open.
- Huh..
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174. Oh, Will, what a lovely
antique necklace.
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175. What is this?
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176. Daddy, it's a diamond.
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177. No, it isn't.
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178. - You don't like it?
- No, I do not.
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179. Can I have it?
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180. How dare you pawn her violin!
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181. She don't even
like playing it no more.
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182. She will learn to like it later.
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183. A young woman
who can play a violin
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184. is an accomplished young lady.
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185. Yo, a girlie that can play the
drums can write her own ticket.
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186. Will, I want the best
for Ashley.
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187. When I was a kid,
I loved classical music
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188. but my parents
couldn't afford lessons.
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189. I used to stand out in the
parking lot of the Philharmonic
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190. hoping to catch a spare note
on the night air.
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191. Philip, when I met you,
you were into James Brown.
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192. He liked James Brown?
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193. He even wore his hair like him.
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194. He had hair?
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195. You know,
it is possible to like
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196. both classical music
and James Brown.
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197. And I could not agree more.
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198. So let's let Ashley play
whatever she wants.
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199. She spent an entire year
on the violin.
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200. So if she wants to try something
new, let her.
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201. You tell him, Aunt Viv.
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202. And as for you, young man..
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203. Love you.
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204. The next time you decide
to visit a pawnshop, don't.
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205. - Now, are we clear on that?
- Yes.
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206. Master William, there is a young
gentleman downstairs
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207. with a rather large radio
who is here to see you.
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208. He claims his name is Jazz.
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209. Yo, word up. Send him up.
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210. Now, now,
who is this Jazz fellow?
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211. Yo, I heard the boy at a club.
He is all of that.
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212. I hope he's gonna be
Ashley's new music teacher.
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213. Mr. Jazz.
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214. It's nice to meet you, Jazz.
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215. How do you do? I'm Mr. Banks.
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216. You got that right.
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217. Man, you're loaded!
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218. Yo, what's up, J?
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219. Come on, Philip,
let's just leave them alone.
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220. I asked her to take him,
take her to her lesson—
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221. I know, baby. I know.
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222. You can tell mama all about it.
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223. Ash, how about let Jazz
get busy one time?
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224. Excuse me, I'm looking for that
store with the safari clothes.
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225. I can't remember the name,
but I think
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226. there's some produce in it.
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227. - Banana Republic.
- That's it. Thank you.
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228. You know, you have a beautiful
speaking voice.
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229. You're probably
a dynamite singer.
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230. Well, I'm okay.
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231. You want to record your own
song? Hm? $8.95.
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232. I really have to shop
for a Halloween costume.
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233. Well, that's too bad, because
you're the first person I've met
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234. who I think could make a
professional, quality recording.
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235. - Hi, may I help you?
- I think so.
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236. You look like a woman
with good taste.
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237. Tonight is my sister's
Halloween party
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238. and I was wondering
if you can honor me by..
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239. showing me that pen.
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240. Oh, certainly. This pen
was manufactured in France.
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241. It has a 14-karat gold nib
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242. and it's hand-lacquered.
The price is—
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243. Do I look like the kind of man
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244. who would quibble
about a few dollars?
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245. Well, that's very nice
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246. because most of my customers
would be shocked
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247. at a pen that costs $300.
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248. Aren't these dancers great?
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249. Oh, you like dancers?
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250. I think dancers are the sexiest
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251. guys in the whole world.
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252. Word? Hey, yo baby, peep this.
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253. The easy-to-read digital display
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254. keeps constant track
of your vital pencil supply.
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255. As you remove the pencils
from the sturdy
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256. ABS plastic container, the
powerful micro-computer brain
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257. continuously updates
the LED read-out
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258. and when the number reaches
your preset re-supply level
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259. the pencil monitor
alerts you to the shortage
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260. and reminds you to take action.
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261. 'Only three pencils remain.'
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262. 'Proceed to stationery store
immediately.'
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263. Oh, I'll take it.
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264. Yeah.. Oh,
but I better get moving.
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265. I'm sure my wife has picked out
her costume by now.
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266. Hi, Shauna.
I'd like to try these on.
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267. Hilary, hi. I didn't even see
you come in.
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268. I was just getting my overview
of your new stock.
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269. - It is all wonderful.
- Oh..
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270. Wait till you see
what I've held for you.
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271. Thank you!
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272. It is so important
to have friends in retail.
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273. I've tried to explain
that to my little sister.
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274. Hilary, I'd love to meet her.
When are you gonna bring her in?
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275. Oh, she's right here.
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276. - Ashley, say hi to Shauna.
- Hello.
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277. Anyway, I need some outfits
for my Halloween party tonight.
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278. Oh, that should be fun.
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279. As long as my cousin Will
doesn't ruin it.
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280. You should have seen what he did
at our last party.
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281. Oh, my God!
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282. Philip, Philip, don't make a big
thing out of it.
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283. If this is
how he feels comfortable
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284. he's not killing anybody.
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285. Philip, aren't you going to
introduce Will? Introduce him.
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286. Well, Steve, David, Henry..
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287. this is Will,
my nephew by marriage.
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288. Will, these are my partners
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289. in the law firm of
Furth, Winn & Meyer.
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290. Hey, Earth, Wind and Fire.
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291. When's your next album
coming out?
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292. Uh, Will is going to go to
Bel-Air Academy with Carlton.
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293. Oh! Good for you, Will.
I used to fence at Bel-Air.
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294. Really? How much do you think
we could get for that stereo?
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295. Will, there are other people
at this table.
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296. Oh, you're right.
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297. Any requests?
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298. Sweetie, would you say grace,
please?
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299. Yes, mommy.
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300. Excuse me.
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301. Let me see that hat.
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302. Okay, but I don't think
it works with that outfit.
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303. - Did you pay for this?
- No, I guess I forgot to.
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304. Uh-huh.
But you just had to have to it?
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305. Me? You've got to be kidding.
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306. Derbies went out six months ago.
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307. Let's take a little walk
to the security office.
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308. You can give me your fashion dos
and don'ts there.
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309. I knew I should have
gone as a ballerina.
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310. Okay, uh, people, let's go.
Let's move along.
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311. There's nothing to see here.
No show.
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312. Let's go come on. Move along.
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313. Move along, people please.
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