1. Thank you, Geoffrey.
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2. - Mom.
- It's only a weekend.
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3. Besides, at your age,
you should be able to...
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4. baby-sit your little sister.
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5. Why can't Geoffrey baby-sit her?
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6. Because we're giving him the weekend off.
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7. You mean I'm going to have to
get my own breakfast, too?
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8. Am I being punished for something?
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9. I was just asking myself
that same question.
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10. But, Dad, I'm only nine.
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11. Can't Hilary take care of herself?
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12. Hi, Hilary.
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13. Ashley, you be a good girl
while we're in Palm Springs.
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14. Well, I'm in a bad mood,
and somebody is going to suffer.
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15. Please take me with you.
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16. if I could, sweetie,
I'd put you in my pocket...
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17. but this retreat is just for members
of the law firm and their spouses.
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18. No kids allowed.
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19. Man, this is going to be hype.
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20. Yo, Palm Springs,
the home of the dental floss bikini.
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21. Will, before you get your mojo working...
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22. I think there's something
you should know:
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23. You're not going.
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24. You better tell that to my mojo
because his bags is packed.
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25. That's Henry and Margaret.
Geoffrey, would you get that, please?
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26. Right away, sir.
I shall tend to my hernia a bit later.
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27. Uncle Phil, I don't think
you want to leave me here all weekend...
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28. with no adult supervision.
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29. Did you see that movie House Party?
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30. No. Did you see The Terminator?
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31. Mr. and Mrs. Furth.
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32. Kids, the limo's waiting.
We'll drive right to the helicopter.
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33. - Helicopter?
- I just got my license.
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34. My man, Henry.
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35. Wouldn't it be nice...
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36. if you could have your car
with you in Palm Springs?
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37. What if you could find
a nice, responsible young man...
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38. to drive it there for you?
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39. Will, that's a super idea.
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40. Carlton, you're a nice, responsible
young man.
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41. And you're an eminent,
respected attorney...
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42. and your wife is a dazzling beauty.
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43. Yo, G.
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44. Did you leave a vacuum cleaner on?
I just heard a loud sucking noise.
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45. Carlton, old sport...
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46. would you like to drive my Mercedes
to Palm Springs this weekend?
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47. You could hang around the retreat,
play some golf...
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48. You know, the chicks in Palm Springs
wear the skimpiest of bikinis.
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49. I sure could use a good game of golf.
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50. Good show. See you there.
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51. Okay, everybody.
Last one in the chopper is a rotten egg.
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52. - See you, kiddo.
- Be good.
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53. Okay. Take care.
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54. - See you, Dad. Have a good trip.
- Okay, son.
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55. Why so glum, chum?
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56. It was my idea for me to drive
his car to Palm Springs.
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57. How come he asked you to do it?
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58. This is a Black thing, isn't it?
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59. The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
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60. HOLLYWOOD
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61. CALlFORNlA FRESH
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62. Plans for Palm Springs.
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63. Work on golf swing.
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64. Review SAT practice book.
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65. Ask Mr. Furth
about a summer internship.
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66. Get the stick out of your butt!
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67. Way to go, Will.
You almost made us crash.
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68. What do you think
you're doing here anyway?
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69. Come on, just relax.
Pretend I'm not even here.
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70. Gladly.
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71. What you eating?
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72. For crying out loud.
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73. Can I have some?
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74. All right, Will.
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75. I'll share my snack with you
on one condition.
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76. When we get to Palm Springs,
you'll behave like a proper gentleman...
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77. and try to maintain
some sense of decorum and etiquette.
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78. - Understood?
- Yeah.
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79. Good. What do you say to an Oreo?
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80. I say, "What's up, Carlton?"
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81. I can't believe we're lost.
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82. What's the name of this street?
"Arguello Drive."
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83. Maybe that'll get us back to the freeway.
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84. Here, let me check.
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85. No, man. No freeways.
Carlton, look out! A low bridge!
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86. Look, thanks a lot, man.
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87. Now we got to go back and get my head!
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88. And I really liked that head.
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89. Can the yuck fest, Will.
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90. We're lost. And it's all your fault.
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91. You the one who ain't bring no map.
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92. - You had to go to the bathroom.
- You're the one that gave me that Shasta.
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93. - Is that the police?
- Punch it, man. We're in a Benz.
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94. Are you crazy? I call this a lucky break.
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95. A policeman is our pal.
We can ask him for directions.
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96. Listen to me, when he comes up,
keep your hands on the wheel.
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97. - Good evening, Officer. Carlton Banks.
- Keep your hands on the wheel.
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98. - Where are you headed?
- We're going to Palm Springs. And you?
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99. Where are you headed this fine evening?
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100. Good job.
Now he's gonna want to see your license.
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101. Right.
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102. Can I see your license?
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103. My license? I have to warn you...
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104. this picture was taken
without my contacts.
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105. And the height is a typo,
I'm actually a lot taller.
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106. Fool, this is not The Love Connection.
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107. - Vehicle registration, please.
- Just a sec.
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108. But the thing is, Officer, this isn't my car.
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109. - Get out of the car.
- What?
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110. He's going to tell us to get out of the car.
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111. - You watch too much TV.
- Get out of the car.
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112. Officer, honestly, I don't see the need to—
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113. Hey, out of the car now.
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114. Hey, Carlton.
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115. Thanks to you we're already
an hour late to bikini land.
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116. So when they interrogate us,
which they like to do...
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117. keep all your answers short and sweet.
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118. Will, I know how to handle this.
I'm pre-law.
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119. Okay, fellas, let's start at the beginning.
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120. - Where are you from?
- LA.
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121. - Not exactly—
- Next question, please.
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122. Let's hear what your friend has to say.
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123. Actually we come from Bel-Air.
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124. In fact, we live two houses
away from the Reagans.
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125. We have the same pool man.
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126. And where were you headed to?
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127. - The desert. Next question, please.
- Not just the desert.
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128. Palm Springs.
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129. We're going to a legal retreat
at Henry Furth's villa.
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130. He's my father's partner
and the owner of the car we're driving.
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131. He is, is he?
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132. Then why didn't he drive it himself
to Palm Springs?
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133. Because his wife flew everybody
in her helicopter.
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134. Okay, fellas, we've had a lot of car thefts
in the area lately.
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135. - You want to talk about it?
- Okay, I think it's terrible.
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136. You making fun of me, kid?
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137. You're the one
who wanted to talk about it.
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138. Quite frankly, I think it's a matter
for the police to handle.
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139. Carlton, they're handling it now.
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140. What on earth are you talking about?
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141. They think we stole the Benz.
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142. Officers, let me call Henry Furth.
He's the owner of the car.
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143. He'll straighten everything out.
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144. Sure. And while you're at it...
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145. you might want to give Ron and Nancy
a ring-a-ding-ding.
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146. Come on. It is up! It's up!
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147. Yes!
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148. You bum. You miserable bum!
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149. What a great game.
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150. Would you get that, honey?
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151. - Hello?
- May I speak to Philip Banks?
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152. Thanks? For what?
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153. No, I said, "Philip Banks."
Can I speak to him?
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154. I don't see him. He must have stepped out.
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155. Can you call back later?
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156. No. ls Mr. Furth there?
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157. Yes. This is Mrs. Furth.
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158. Mrs. Furth, this is Carlton Banks.
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159. Carlton, how are you, dear?
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160. You've got to get a message to my father.
It's very important. I'm in jail.
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161. Yale? Marvelous.
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162. I've got to go now. See you soon, dear.
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163. Philip, Vivian, Carlton just called.
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164. - ls everything all right?
- I should say so.
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165. He got into Yale.
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166. Yale? That's my alma mater.
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167. Carlton's only a sophomore.
He's not applying to college yet.
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168. You know Margaret.
I'm sure she got it wrong.
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169. It probably wasn't Yale or Carlton.
It probably wasn't even the phone.
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170. I'm not getting back in that helicopter
with her.
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171. It's all right, man. Chill.
I get a phone call, too.
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172. C, it's all right. Chill.
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173. Get it.
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174. SHE
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175. Hilary, you're sitting
right next to the phone.
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176. I don't care. I'm your babysitter.
I command you.
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177. Phone.
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178. Let me know if it's for me.
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179. But, Miss Hilary, I'm off duty.
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180. And you're sitting right next to the phone.
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181. Yeah, but you're facing the phone.
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182. Lazy House.
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183. G, what up?
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184. This is Will, man. I need a big favor.
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185. I'm tired of doing favors
for you spoilt children.
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186. I'm off duty. I am not an animal.
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187. Yo, man.
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188. I need another phone call.
My butler hung up on me.
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189. Okay, fellas. You want to talk about
those other car thefts?
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190. I don't think you know
who you're talking to.
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191. I have a 3.95 grade point average...
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192. which would have been 4.0,
except I had to take a ceramics class...
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193. and my pot exploded in my kiln.
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194. I'm going to go to Harvard Law School,
graduate with honors...
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195. and then I'm going to sue you blind.
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196. Now give us another phone call.
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197. I think he likes you.
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198. This is terrible. I'm ruined.
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199. I'll be kicked out of the glee club,
I won't get into Princeton.
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200. I won't be admitted to the bar.
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201. Neither will l. The cops took my fake lD.
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202. Come on, man, don't give me
that my-dog-is-dead face.
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203. - Come on, let's sing.
- I'm not singing.
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204. This is just retarded.
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205. Come on, man, let it go. You'll feel better.
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206. Yo, that was dope, Bob.
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207. Take five?
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208. We got to get out of here, man.
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209. - That big dude is making me nervous.
- Why?
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210. Any time you see a White guy in jail,
you know he did something bad.
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211. We got to get a message to Uncle Phil.
He's a lawyer, he'll get us out of here.
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212. But they won't give us
any more phone calls.
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213. Not that it matters.
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214. The game was on so loud,
Mrs. Furth couldn't even hear what I said.
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215. - The game?
- Yeah, the football game on TV.
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216. That's all they do at these retreats.
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217. All right, we out of here. I got an idea.
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218. - Yo!
- Yeah.
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219. My buddy here is ready to confess.
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220. Come on! Look at this!
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221. - He's going for a touchdown!
- Go!
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222. We interrupt this game
for a special report.
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223. You bum!
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224. This is Steve Goddard
of the Minuteman-21 news team...
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225. at the Santa Juanesta police station.
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226. The recent rash of car thefts
in the Palm Springs area...
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227. has been solved, as the perpetrators
were arrested this evening.
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228. The ringleader agreed to confess...
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229. only if a camera crew were present
to broadcast Iive.
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230. What you are about to see
is a Minuteman-21 news exclusive.
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231. Yeah, we done it.
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232. Word to Big Bird.
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233. We flicked eight Benzitos, 15 Jags,
and a Maserati!
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234. But I didn't like the upholstery
so I took it back, Jack!
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235. Do you have anything to say?
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236. Dad.
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237. - Aunt Viv!
- Dad!
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238. Who's in charge here?
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239. - I am.
- Let those kids out.
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240. - These kids are car thieves.
- You have made a big mistake.
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241. I don't know how you got
that bogus confession out of them...
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242. but those two boys haven't stolen a thing
from anyone.
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243. This is the biggest amateur operation
I have seen since Mayberry R.F.D.
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244. - Could you ask your wife to calm down?
- Calm yourself, Barney Fife.
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245. Vivian, please.
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246. Officers, I'm sure we can clear
this whole matter up quite easily.
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247. Could you please sit down?
We're busy now.
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248. Honey, we're about to get very busy.
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249. - Sit down!
- Hey!
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250. You don't talk to my wife like that.
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251. Who the hell do you think you're talking—
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252. Who the hell
do you think you're talking to?
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253. - What's going on?
- May I help you, sir?
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254. I'm Henry Furth.
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255. Good news. Your car is safe and sound.
And we've got the perpetrators.
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256. Those aren't the perpetrators.
Those are my partner's son and nephew.
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257. Partner?
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258. Legal partner.
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259. I've got a few questions for you.
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260. When you got this alleged confession
from them...
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261. did they have a lawyer present?
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262. No. Because I'm their lawyer.
Did you notify their parents?
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263. No. Because we're their parents.
So, Officer, don't tell us to wait.
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264. And don't tell us to sit down.
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265. Just open that damn cell
and let those two boys out...
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266. or I'll tie this place up
with so much litigation...
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267. that your grandchildren
are gonna need lawyers!
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268. Open the cell, Jerry.
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269. Peace out, Bob.
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270. POLlCE
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271. Geoffrey, I want a duck salad.
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272. When exactly do you go back on duty?
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273. When your parents
walk through that door...
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274. and not a moment sooner.
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275. Hi. We're home.
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276. Drat.
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277. Hilary, how did everything go with Ashley?
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278. Mother, she was a little angel.
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279. She polished my nails
and cleaned out my closet.
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280. To reward her, we went to this cafe that's
owned by John Cougar Mellencamp...
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281. Kim Basinger,
and Doogie Howser's business manager.
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282. And we spent the afternoon
drinking espresso.
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283. You let Ashley drink espresso?
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284. Hi, Mom! Hi, Dad! Let's go play!
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285. Come on, everybody, let's go play!
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286. Not tonight, sweetie,
we kind of had an exhausting weekend.
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287. - What happened?
- We got arrested.
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288. - Arrested?
- By who? The fashion police?
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289. No. The police thought
we stole Mr. Furth's car.
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290. But they were just trying to do their jobs.
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291. Why did they think you stole it?
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292. Hilary, we've been over that all weekend.
It's late.
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293. I think we all should go to bed.
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294. I don't want to. I want to play Monopoly,
I want to jump up.
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295. Let's go paint my room!
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296. Geoffrey, some warm milk, please.
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297. - Yo, Carlton.
- Yeah?
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298. Those cops
were just trying to do their jobs?
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299. Don't get all bent out of shape.
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300. You didn't learn anything this weekend.
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301. I most certainly did. Always bring a map.
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302. What?
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303. if we would have had a map...
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304. we wouldn't have to drive 2 miles an hour
to find a freeway entrance...
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305. and we wouldn't have been stopped.
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306. Okay. I get it now.
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307. We were stopped
because we were driving too slow.
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308. We were breaking the slowness limit.
Okay, I've never heard of that law before.
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309. But I did hear this other law.
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310. It's the "if you see a Black guy driving
anything but a burned-out Pinto...
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311. "you better stop him
because he stole it" law.
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312. I heard about that one.
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313. But I thought it was "the Black guy law"...
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314. when in actuality,
it was the "slowness limit law."
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315. Thank you for sharing that with me.
Good night.
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316. - They were just doing their job.
- Good night, Carlton.
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317. What's your complaint here?
We were detained for a few hours...
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318. Dad cleared things up,
and we were released. The system works.
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319. I hope you like that system...
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320. 'cause you'll be seeing a lot of it
in your lifetime.
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321. Not if I bring a map.
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322. You just don't get it, do you?
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323. No map is going to save you,
and neither is your glee club...
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324. or your fancy Bel-Air address
or who your daddy is.
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325. When you're driving in a nice car
in a strange neighborhood...
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326. none of that matters.
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327. They only see one thing.
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328. Maybe growing up where you did
has made you a little touchy...
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329. but I think you've blown this thing
out of proportion.
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330. if you look at the facts...
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331. Carlton, it's late.
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332. - It's a school day tomorrow, son.
- Yeah, okay, Dad.
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333. It was awfully nice of Mr. Furth
to help us out.
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334. I'll have to write him a thank-you note.
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335. It shouldn't have happened
in the first place, son.
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336. Good night.
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337. Dad.
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338. if you were a policeman...
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339. and you saw a car
driving 2 miles an hour...
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340. wouldn't you stop it?
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341. I asked myself that question
the first time I was stopped.
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342. Good night, son.
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343. I would stop it.
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