The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air 1x6

Directed by Jeff Melman

Helen Page Camp as Margaret Furth • Dan Desmond as Sergeant • Hank Azaria as Policeman • John Petlock as Henry Furth • Raymond McLeod as Bob

Jailed, Will and Carlton stage a media stunt.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Thank you, Geoffrey.

2. - Mom! - It's only a weekend.

3. Besides, at your age

4. you should be able to babysit your little sister.

5. Nuh-uh.

6. Why can't Geoffrey babysit her?

7. Because we're giving him the weekend off.

8. You mean I'm going to have to get my own breakfast, too?

9. Am I being punished for something?

10. I was just asking myself that same question.

11. But, dad, I'm only nine.

12. Can't Hilary take care of herself?

13. Oh, hi, Hilary.

14. Now, Ashley, you be a good girl

15. while we're in Palm Springs.

16. Well, I'm in a bad mood

17. and somebody is going to suffer.

18. Please take me with you.

19. If I could, sweety, I'd put you in my pocket

20. but this retreat is just for members of the law firm

21. and their wives or spouses.

22. No kids allowed.

23. Man, this is gon' be hype!

24. Yo, Palm Springs!

25. The home of the dental floss bikini.

26. Will, before you get your mojo working..

27. I think there's something you should know.

28. You're not going.

29. Yo, you better tell that to my mojo

30. 'cause his bags is packed.

31. That's gonna be Henry and Margaret.

32. Uh, Geoffrey, would you get that, please?

33. Right away, sir.

34. I shall tend to my hernia a bit later.

35. Hey, Uncle Phil, man, I-I don't think

36. you want to leave me here all weekend

37. you know, with no adult supervision.

38. Did you see that movie "House Party?"

39. No. Did you see "The Terminator?"

40. Mr. and Mrs. Furth.

41. Well, kids, the limo's waiting.

42. We'll drive right to the helicopter.

43. - Helicopter? - I just got my license.

44. My man Henry.

45. Wouldn't it be nice if you could have

46. your car with you in Palm Springs?

47. What if you could find a nice, responsible young man

48. to drive it there for you?

49. Will, that's a super idea.

50. Carlton, you're a nice, responsible young man.

51. And you're an eminent respected attorney

52. and your wife is a dazzling beauty.

53. Yo, G, did you leave a vacuum cleaner on?

54. I just heard a loud sucking noise.

55. Carlton, old sport

56. how would you like to drive my Mercedes

57. to Palm Springs this weekend?

58. You could hang around the retreat, play some golf.

59. And you know the chicks in Palm Springs

60. wear the skimpiest of bikinis.

61. Well, I sure could use a good game of golf.

62. Good show. See you there.

63. Okay, everybody.

64. Last one in the chopper is a rotten egg.

65. - See you, kiddo. - 'Uh-huh.'

66. - Okay. Take care. - 'See you, dad.'

67. - 'Have a good trip.' - Okay, son.

68. Why so glum, chum?

69. It was my idea for me to drive his car to Palm Springs.

70. How come he asked you to do it?

71. This is a black thing, isn't it?

72. 'A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H..'

73. Plans for Palm Springs.

74. One, work on golf swing.

75. Two, review SAT Practice book.

76. Three, ask Mr. Furth about a summer internship.

77. Four, get the stick out of your butt.

78. Way to go, Will.

79. You almost made us crash.

80. What do you think you're doing here anyway?

81. Oh, come on, just relax, C. Pretend I'm not even here.

82. Gladly.

83. What you eating?

84. Oh, for crying out loud.

85. Could I have some?

86. Alright, Will, I'll share my snack with you

87. on one condition, when we get to Palm Springs

88. you will behave like a proper gentleman

89. and try to maintain some sense of decorum and etiquette.

90. - Understood? - Yeah.

91. Good. What do you say to an Oreo?

92. I say, "What's up, Carlton?"

93. I can't believe we're lost.

94. What's the name of this street? "Arguello Drive."

95. Maybe that'll get us back to the freeway.

96. Here. Let me check.

97. No, man. No freeways, son, I..

98. Hey, C-Carlton, look out! A low bridge!

99. Look, thanks a lot, man.

100. Now we got to go back and get my head.

101. And I really liked that head.

102. Can the yuck fest, Will.

103. We're lost and it's all your fault.

104. You're the one that ain't bring no map.

105. Well, you're the one that have to go to the bathroom.

106. You're the one that gave me that Shasta.

107. - Is that the police? - Punch it, man.

108. We're in a Benz.

109. Are you crazy? I call this a lucky break.

110. A policeman is our pal. We can ask him for directions.

111. Listen to me, Carlton, when he comes up

112. keep your hands on the wheel.

113. Good evening, officer. Carlton Banks.

114. Keep your hands on the wheel.

115. Where you heading?

116. We're going to Palm Springs. And yourself?

117. Where are you headed this fine evening?

118. Good job, Carlton. Now he's gon' want to see your license.

119. - Right. - Can I see your license?

120. My license? Yeah.

121. I have to warn you this picture was taken

122. without my contacts. And the height is a typo.

123. I'm actually a lot taller.

124. Fool, this is not "The Love Connection."

125. - Vehicle registration, please. - Just a sec.

126. But the thing is, officer, this isn't my car.

127. - Get out of the car, Carlton. - What?

128. He's going to tell us to get out of the car.

129. You watch too much TV, Will.

130. Get out of the car.

131. Officer, honestly, I don't see the need to—

132. Hey, hey! Get out of the car now.

133. Okay, Carlton, thanks to you

134. we're already an hour late to bikini land.

135. So, when they interrogate us, which they like to do

136. keep all your answers short and sweet.

137. Will, I know how to handle this.

138. I'm pre-law.

139. Okay, fellas, let's start at the beginning.

140. - Where are you from? - LA.

141. - Well, not exactly. - Next question, please.

142. Now let's hear what your friend has to say.

143. Actually, we come from Bel-Air.

144. In fact, we live two houses away from the Reagans.

145. We have the same pool man.

146. And where were you headed to?

147. The desert. Next question, please.

148. Not just the desert, Palm Springs.

149. We're going to a legal retreat.

150. It's at Henry Furth's villa, he's my father's partner

151. and the owner of the car we were driving.

152. Oh, he is, is he? Then why didn't he drive it

153. himself to Palm Springs?

154. Because his wife flew everybody in her helicopter.

155. Okay, fellas, we've had a lot of car thefts

156. in the area lately.

157. You want to talk about it?

158. Okay, I think it's terrible.

159. You making fun of me, kid?

160. You're the one who wanted to talk about it.

161. Why, frankly, I think it's a matter for the police to handle.

162. Carlton, they're handling it now.

163. What on earth are you talking about?

164. They think we stole the Benz.

165. Officers, let me call Henry Furth

166. he's the owner of the car

167. and he'll straighten everything out.

168. Sure. Sure.

169. And while you're at it

170. you might want to give Ron and Nancy

171. a ring-a-ding-ding.

172. Come on. It's up! It's up! It's up!

173. - Come on! - Oh!

174. You bum. You miserable bum.

175. What a great game.

176. Would you get that, honey?

177. - Hello? - May I speak to Philip Banks?

178. Thanks? For what?

179. No, I said Philip Banks. Can I speak to him?

180. Oh, I don't see him, he must have stepped out.

181. Can you call back later?

182. No. Is Mr. Furth there?

183. Yes. This is Mrs. Furth.

184. Oh, Mrs. Furth. This is Carlton. Carlton banks.

185. Oh, Carlton, how are you, dear?

186. Mrs. Furth, you've gotta get a message to my father.

187. It's very important. I'm in jail.

188. Yale? Marvelous.

189. Oh, I've got to go now. See you soon, dear.

190. Oh, Philip, Vivian. Carlton just called.

191. - Is everything alright? - Oh, I should say so.

192. He got into Yale.

193. Yale? That's my alma mater.

194. Carlton's only a sophomore, he's not applied to college yet.

195. Oh, you know Margaret, I'm sure she got it wrong.

196. Probably wasn't Yale. Probably wasn't a call.

197. Probably wasn't even a phone.

198. I'm not getting back into that helicopter with her.

199. Yo, yo, C, it's-it's alright, man, chill.

200. Yo, I get a phone call, too. C, it's alright. Chill.

201. Get it.

202. Hilary, you're sitting right next to the phone.

203. I don't care, I'm your babysitter.

204. I command you.

205. Phone.

206. Let me know if it's for me.

207. But, Miss Hilary, I'm off duty.

208. And you're sitting right next to the phone.

209. Yeah, but you're facing the phone.

210. Lazy House.

211. Hey, G, w-what up, yo?

212. Uh, this is Will, man. I-I need a big favor.

213. Uh-uh, I'm tired of doing favors for you spoiled children.

214. I'm off duty. I am not an animal.

215. Hey, yo, man.

216. I need another phone call. My butler hung up on me.

217. Okay, fellas, you want to talk about those other car thefts?

218. Look, I don't think you know who you're talking to.

219. I have a 3.95 grade point average

220. which would have been a 4.0

221. except that I had to take a ceramics class

222. and my pot exploded in my kiln.

223. I'm going to go to Harvard Law School

224. and graduate with honors

225. and then I'm going to sue you blind.

226. Now, give us another phone call.

227. I think he likes you.

228. This is terrible. I'm ruined.

229. I'll be kicked out of the Glee Club.

230. I won't get into Princeton.

231. I won't be admitted to the bar.

232. Neither will I. The cops took my fake ID.

233. Oh, come on, man, don't give me that my-dog-is-dead face.

234. - Come on. Let's sing. - I'm not singing.

235. Come on.

236. This is just retarded.

237. Come on, man. Let it go. You'll feel better.

238. Yo, that was dope, Bob!

239. Take five?

240. Yo, C, we got to get out of here, man.

241. That big dude is making me nervous.

242. Why?

243. Anytime you see a white guy in jail

244. you know he did something bad.

245. Man, we got to get a message to Uncle Phil.

246. He's a lawyer and he'll get us out of here.

247. But they won't give us any more phone calls.

248. Not that it matters, the game was on so loud

249. Mrs. Furth couldn't even hear what I said.

250. - The game? - Yeah. The football game on TV.

251. That's all they do at these retreats.

252. Alright, alright. We out of here, man. I got an idea.

253. - Yo! - Yeah.

254. My, uh, buddy here is ready to confess.

255. - 'Come on!' - 'Come on! Look at this!'

256. - Man, oh! - He's going for the touchdown!

257. (all) Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!

258. (man on TV) 'We interrupt this game for a special report.'

259. You bum!

260. This is Steve Goddard of the Minute Man 21 News Team

261. at the Santa Juanesta Police Station.

262. The recent rash of car thefts in the Palm Springs area

263. has finally been solved, as the perpetrators were arrested

264. earlier this evening.

265. 'The ringleader agreed to confess'

266. only if a camera crew were present to broadcast live.

267. What you're about to see is a Minute Man 21 News exclusive.

268. Yeah! We done it!

269. Word to big bird.

270. We vicked eight Benzitos

271. fifteen Jags, and a Maserati

272. but I ain't like the upholstery

273. so I took it back, jack!

274. Uh, do you have anything to say?

275. Dad!

276. - Aunt Viv! - Dad!

277. - Who is in charge here? - I am.

278. Let those kids out.

279. These kids are car thieves.

280. And you have made a big mistake.

281. Now I don't know how you got that bogus confession

282. out of them but those two boys

283. haven't stolen a thing from anyone.

284. This has got to be the biggest amateur operation I've seen

285. since "Mayberry RFD."

286. Could you ask your wife to calm down?

287. Calm yourself, Barney Fife!

288. Vivian, please.

289. Now, officers, I'm sure we can clear

290. this whole matter up quite easily.

291. Would you please sit down? We're busy now.

292. Oh, honey, we're about to get very busy up in here.

293. - Sit down! - Hey!

294. You don't talk to my wife like that.

295. Now, wait a minute, buddy.

296. Who the hell do you think you're talking to?

297. Who the hell do you think you're talking to?

298. - What's going on here? - May I help you, sir?

299. I'm Henry Furth.

300. Good news, Mr. Furth.

301. Your car is safe and sound

302. and we've got the perpetrators.

303. Those aren't the perpetrators.

304. Those are my partner's son and nephew.

305. - Partner? - Legal partner.

306. I've got a few questions for you.

307. When you got this alleged confession

308. from these two young men, did they have a lawyer present?

309. No. Because I'm their lawyer.

310. Did you notify their parents?

311. No, because we're their parents.

312. So, officer, don't tell us to wait.

313. And don't tell us to sit down.

314. Just open that damn cell and let those two boys out of there

315. or I'm gonna tie this place up with so much litigation

316. that your grandchildren are gonna need lawyers!

317. Open the cell, Jerry.

318. Peace out, Bob.

319. Geoffrey, I want a duck salad.

320. When exactly do you go back on duty?

321. When your parents walk through that door

322. and not a moment sooner.

323. 'Hi. We're home.'

324. Drat.

325. Hilary, how'd everything go with Ashley?

326. Mother, she was a little angel.

327. She polished my nails and cleaned out my closet.

328. And to reward her, we went to this little cafe

329. that's owned by John Cougar Mellencamp, Kim Basinger

330. and Doogie Howser's business manager.

331. And we spent the whole afternoon drinking espresso.

332. You let Ashley drink espresso?

333. Hi, mom! Hi, dad! Let's go play! Let's go play!

334. Come on, everybody, let's go play!

335. Oh, my God, not..

336. Not tonight, sweety. We kinda had an exhausting weekend.

337. - What happened? - We got arrested.

338. - Arrested? - By who? The fashion police?

339. No, the police thought we stole Mr. Furth's car

340. but they were just trying to do their jobs.

341. Why did they think you stole it?

342. Hillary, we've been over that all weekend.

343. It's late and I think we all should go to bed.

344. Oh, I don't want to go to bed. I want to play monopoly.

345. I want to jump rope. Let's go paint my room!

346. Geoffrey, some warm milk, please.

347. - 'Yo, Carlton.' - Yeah?

348. Those cops were just trying to do their jobs?

349. Will, don't get all bent out of shape.

350. Man, you ain't learn nothing this weekend, did you?

351. I most certainly did. Always bring a map.

352. What?

353. If we would've had a map

354. we wouldn't have had to drive two miles an hour

355. trying to find a freeway entrance

356. and we wouldn't have been stopped.

357. Oh, okay, okay. I get it now.

358. We were stopped 'cause we were driving too slow.

359. We were breaking the slowness limit.

360. Oh, okay, well, you see, I never heard of that law before

361. but I did hear this other law

362. it's called that "If you see a black guy

363. "driving anything but a burnt out Pinto

364. you better stop him because he stole it law."

365. Yeah, I heard about that one.

366. Oh, but, see, I-I thought it was "The Black Guy Law"

367. when in actuality, it was the "Slowness Limit Law."

368. Oh. Thank you for sharing that with me, Carlton. Goodnight.

369. They were just doing their job.

370. - Goodnight, Carlton. - What's your complaint here?

371. We were detained for a few hours.

372. Dad cleared things up and we were released.

373. The system works.

374. I hope you like that system 'cause you're gonna be seeing

375. a whole lot of it during your lifetime.

376. Not if I bring a map.

377. You just don't get it, do you?

378. No map is going to save you

379. and neither is your Glee Club

380. or your fancy Bel-Air dress or who your daddy is

381. 'cause when you're driving in a nice car

382. in a strange neighborhood, none of that matters.

383. They only see one thing.

384. Well, maybe growing up where you did

385. has made you a little touchy.

386. But I think you've blown this thing way out of proportion.

387. If you look at the facts..

388. Carlton, it's late.

389. It's a school day tomorrow, son.

390. Yeah, yeah. Okay, dad.

391. Um, y-you know, it was awfully nice of Mr. Furth

392. to help us out.

393. I'll have to write him a Thank You note.

394. It shouldn't have happened in the first place, son.

395. Goodnight.

396. Dad?

397. If you were a policeman

398. and you saw a car driving two miles an hour

399. wouldn't you stop it?

400. I asked myself that question

401. the first time I was stopped.

402. Goodnight, son.

403. I would stop it.