The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air 1x5

1. Geoffrey, have you seen Will?

2. Maste William sits in his room

3. sadly staring out of the window, madam

4. quiet as a church mouse.

5. Hasn't spoken a word for hours. What a shame.

6. - Oh, poor homesick baby. - I have an idea, Vivian.

7. If Will is that homesick, let's send him home.

8. All he's been talking about is Philadelphia.

9. I hope these Philadelphia cheese steaks cheer him up.

10. Personally, Vivian, I don't know what you and Will see

11. in those vile concoctions.

12. Which is why you only ate five of them?

13. Oh, Will, we know you're homesick

14. so we got you something to cheer you up.

15. Oh, wow. Thanks.

16. Oh, thanks a lot.

17. What is it?

18. It's a sandwich composed of cheese, steak

19. and a croissant de boulanger

20. from the Café Antoinette in Beverly Hills.

21. It's a Philadelphia cheese steak, Will.

22. Nice try, Uncle Phil but this is not

23. a Philadelphia cheese steak.

24. See, look at the bag. No grease stain.

25. If this were an authentic Philadelphia cheese steak

26. you could see right through the bag by now.

27. Well, I'm sorry you don't like it. I'll dispose of it later.

28. - I'll throw it out. - I'll dispose of it, Ashley.

29. Hey, you know where you get the best

30. cheese steaks in Philly?

31. Pat's Steaks on Passyunk Avenue.

32. Me and my buddy Ice Tray, we used to go down there

33. every Friday. We used to steal..

34. I mean, we would enjoy them there often.

35. Ice Tray? Isn't he the one you're always talking about?

36. Did I ever tell you about the story

37. in the middle of the winter, right?

38. Ice Tray grabbed onto the back of a bus, right

39. and it was so cold, that his face got stuck to the bus.

40. And he was dragging around the city.

41. He couldn't get off till he hit a bump

42. on the Ben Franklin Bridge.

43. Well, that's a story we can all relate to.

44. Oh, cut it out, Philip. He misses his friend.

45. Ice Tray's more like my big brother, though.

46. Well, I've got a good idea.

47. Why don't we fly him out for a weekend visit?

48. You mean it, Aunt Viv? Yo, I'm down with that.

49. Word up. This is gonna be cold stupid on the serious tip.

50. What did you say, young lady?

51. I said that this is quite an exceptional idea, daddy.

52. Peachy-keen, even. Later, my man.

53. Wonderful. First Will, now Ashley.

54. I can't wait till Ice Box gets here.

55. No, no, it's Ice Tray, Uncle Phil.

56. Oh, Ice Tray. I apologize.

57. Ice Box would be an idiotic name.

58. Yeah, it would.

59. Hey, Aunt Viv, this is going to be great.

60. I can't wait to get him out here and show him

61. all the strange sights of L.A.

62. I don't even know where to begin.

63. I'll take him to Disneyland, to Marineland

64. - Dad, I need $200. - I'll take him to Hilaryland.

65. - Why do you need $200, Hilary? - For books.

66. I'm changing my major.

67. - To what? - Communications.

68. And exactly what does that entail?

69. Well, you know, it's like you know, it's communications.

70. It's, like, the study of communicating, okay?

71. Why do you want to major in that?

72. Because I'm good at it.

73. So I presume this is the official

74. Ice Tray greeting party.

75. - Tray! - Prince! Homey, get in there.

76. Guys, guys, you're gonna hurt each other.

77. That's okay, Vivian. Let's see where this goes.

78. Ice Tray, we didn't hear you come in.

79. Geoffrey, did you leave the door open?

80. Well, no.

81. I guess we must have left it unlocked.

82. "Well, no."

83. You still got it, man.

84. Hi, I'm Vivian, Will's aunt.

85. Will, why don't you introduce Ice Tray to your family?

86. I'm sorry. This is my little Cousin Ashley.

87. Hi.

88. This is my bodyguard, Geoffrey.

89. All of this is my Uncle Phil.

90. Remember we used to say that Daffy Duck

91. must have a little brother somewhere?

92. Meet my Cousin Carlton.

93. Can't touch this.

94. Geoffrey, would you take Ice Tray's luggage

95. to his room, please?

96. Certainly, madam.

97. So you're also a disadvantaged inner-city youth, I hear.

98. - Yo, man, what's with him? - It's a tan.

99. - What up on the schoolyard? - School, man.

100. I don't bother it, and it don't bother me.

101. You don't go to school, Ice Tray?

102. Oh, sure, I do.

103. I've been held back in the 10th grade

104. three times in a row.

105. Three times?

106. Yeah. See, my motto is

107. when I find a grade I like

108. I stick with it.

109. Education is the mortar that builds the temple of success.

110. That's what I personally think.

111. Like who cares?

112. What's up with Smooth, Jocko, and O-Money?

113. Smooth and Jocko, they got their own singing group now.

114. And O-Money got his hair cut to look like

115. the Chrysler Building.

116. Hey, that's good, though, man.

117. That Mount Rushmore thing was not working.

118. This is dope, man.

119. I'm just gonna kick back here for a few days

120. let somebody else do all the work.

121. Excuse me, young man.

122. In this house, everyone carries his own weight.

123. Too easy.

124. Come on, daddy. Tray's on vacation.

125. Yo, yo, yo, see, my motto is

126. Lord, if there's anything like work around my heart

127. please remove it.

128. Hey, hey, hey, I smell something greasy.

129. Too easy.

130. Yo, a cheese steak! Now this is the real deal.

131. Yo, man. Could I get $100?

132. - For what? - To pay the limo dude.

133. You took a limo?

134. Prince said y'all was loaded, and when in Rome, do as.

135. - A $100? - I got a cash flow problem.

136. You see, my Korean Gucci bags

137. they just ain't been moving lately.

138. Tray, let's pay the dude.

139. What's up with the Blake sisters

140. they still live on 43rd St.?

141. Yeah, man, they got their own 900 number now.

142. Sheesh.

143. He's some piece of work, huh, dad?

144. We're getting a rottweiler.

145. I know he seems a little rough around the edges

146. but I think we should all give him a chance.

147. When you really look at it, how different

148. is Ice Tray from Carlton?

149. With all due respect, mom, I think he's a little fonder

150. of the 10th grade than I.

151. Wait, hold up. What about that one girl you went out with

152. that Latiqua?

153. Man, that girl was ugly.

154. Ugly? You crazy, man.

155. She was so ugly, she was oogly.

156. She was so ugly, that Freddy Krueger used to have

157. nightmares about her.

158. At least she was smart though.

159. - That girl you was with.. - Stacy.

160. That girl was so dumb, it took her an hour to cook Minute Rice.

161. Wait a minute. Let's talk about skinny girls.

162. - Who's skinny? - That Julie you went out with?

163. She was so skinny, you could tie a rope around her head

164. and use her like a tetherball pole.

165. Hold up. Back to Stacy.

166. Yo, Stacy was so dumb. Do you know how dumb Stacy was?

167. How dumb was Stacy?

168. Stacy was so dumb

169. that she took the Pepsi Challenge and chose Jif.

170. This is dope, man.

171. Look at this. Crystal, china dolls, a book.

172. You know people are rich when they got all this stuff

173. you ain't got no use for.

174. Crime and Punishment. Whoo..

175. That's just some tired old book Carlton's reading, man.

176. Really? "From the library of Master William Smith."

177. Who's tired now, homey?

178. They're trying to force us to read that at school.

179. - I ain't gonna read it. - Wait, Wait, wait.

180. This is your handwriting. "Intriguing duality?"

181. Same old Prince, man.

182. You know, when I first met you, you was carrying your books

183. in a pizza box so that nobody knew you were studying.

184. Yeah, that was cool, till them guys jumped me

185. trying to steal my pizza.

186. Yo, they was upset.

187. You got a good deal here, homey. Don't blow it.

188. I'll go grab us some cheese steaks, man.

189. Alright, now.

190. Hi.

191. Hi.

192. Vivian, I think you're blowing this whole thing

193. out of proportion.

194. Now just tell me the story again.

195. And this time, just the facts.

196. I'll give you a transcript, Philip.

197. "Hi." "Hi."

198. I don't get it. What could she possibly see in him?

199. Well, he's got a nice smile, and cool hair.

200. Hair? I thought it was a hat.

201. I think I should have gotten a larger tattoo, Tray.

202. Tattoo?

203. I like got a tattoo of Tray's initials.

204. - Where? - Don't worry, Mrs. Banks.

205. No one will ever see it.

206. I'm gonna go put this stuff up in my bedroom.

207. - I'll go with you. - So will I.

208. Aunt Viv, you got to really be proud of yourself.

209. Well, pride doesn't quite capture it, Will.

210. I mean it was your idea to bring Tray out here.

211. I mean, Hilary used to walk around all the time

212. with such a sour look on her face.

213. I used to say to myself, she just needs one good

214. friend, Aunt Vivian.

215. Well, he does seem like an interesting young man.

216. And you've only seen one side of him.

217. He's just joking around now, but he can be real serious.

218. - Really? - I mean. Seriously.

219. If somebody's chasing him, he can jack a fence like that.

220. But if somebody catch him, it don't matter.

221. The boy got a crazy rabbit punch

222. like you don't even see it coming.

223. You out of there.

224. Let's go check out that swimming pool, Prince.

225. - I'll see you later, babe. - Okay, Icy.

226. It's nice to see you and Ice Tray getting along.

227. I'm sorry he couldn't stay longer.

228. Oh, no. Don't worry, mom. I've got it all figured out.

229. He can come visit every other weekend.

230. And then when the 10th grade lets out

231. he can come stay in the pool house.

232. And daddy can get him a job at the office.

233. What job could he possibly have in the law firm?

234. I don't know. Lawyer?

235. Anyways, mom, don't worry.

236. This is our problem, not yours.

237. The only thing I want to say is thank you.

238. For what?

239. Well, you, like, saw

240. right past his rough-tough exterior

241. and you welcomed him into our home.

242. I'm so proud of you, mom.

243. I just want to share my joy with you.

244. I haven't been this happy since I bought

245. my Giorgio Armani suit.

246. This is serious.

247. Hilary wants him to live in our pool house.

248. Well, that shouldn't matter to you, Vivian.

249. You're the one who invited Ashtray.

250. In fact, why don't we invite some more of Will's friends out?

251. Let's just put a big neon sign out in front of the house

252. that says "Homeboy Hotel."

253. That's it. I want him out of this house.

254. Oh, Vivian, Vivian, you're making the classic mistake.

255. Don't you know that?

256. I have the perfect solution for dealing with Mr. Ice Pick.

257. You do?

258. My street savvy

259. should not be taken lightly.

260. - She's rebelling against us. - So?

261. So any hostility will only drive her closer to him.

262. We have to embrace him, Vivian.

263. Welcome him into the family

264. take him out for a nice meal

265. smother him with acceptance.

266. Once the element of rebellion is gone

267. the relationship will lose its appeal.

268. - And what if that doesn't work? - Oh, it'll work.

269. You two make such a lovely, lovely couple.

270. - Dad, has mom been drinking? - Nonsense, Carlton.

271. She's just being polite to our lovely houseguest.

272. Have you been drinking?

273. Hey, Tray, check this.

274. - Oh, that's dope, man. - Let me see.

275. - 'Ow!' - Nice catch, lady.

276. Oh, God, Tray, you are so funny. Isn't he funny, everyone?

277. Not to me. Of course, I'm sober.

278. I think escargots all around for starters.

279. - Snails. - Oh, no, no, no, no.

280. I don't eat nothing that leaves a trail.

281. God, Tray, you slay me.

282. He busts me up.

283. Okay, well, before we get started

284. I'd like to propose a toast.

285. Tray, since this is your last night here

286. Vivian and I would just like to say that we're both

287. 'extremely happy that Hilary's found that special someone'

288. 'that special love.'

289. 'I can just see Hilary and Tray'

290. 'in their tiny little love nest in Philadelphia'

291. with the pitter-patter of five little Ice Cubes.

292. Hilary changing diapers and preparing a lovely meal

293. while her loving husband is working his night job

294. on the corner as a Korean Gucci bag representative.

295. Hilary, this is for those wonderful years in Philadelphia.

296. I guess I'll be driving home tonight.

297. I am so happy.

298. Dad, are you saying that you wouldn't mind

299. if Tray and I, like, got married?

300. Mind?

301. - Did you hear that, Vivian? - Mind?

302. That's good, because Hilary and I got married this afternoon.

303. Hilary, no, no!

304. How could you do this to us? How could you be so stupid?

305. Do you realize you've gone and ruined your life?

306. - This boy doesn't care— - Mom, take it down 1,000.

307. It was only a joke. We didn't get married.

308. We just wanted to see what you'd do.

309. See, baby, I told you they'd flip.

310. Yo, homey, order me three steaks and a salad.

311. Come on, baby. Let's dance.

312. Got married.

313. Sir, Master Tray's all packed and ready to depart.

314. Excellent, Geoffrey.

315. Let's afford him everything we can

316. in getting him on his way.

317. So shall I call for a car, sir, or just

318. shoot him out of a cannon?

319. So, that really is a wonderful restaurant, isn't it?

320. Yeah.

321. I think everybody had a good time, don't you?

322. Uh-huh.

323. You know, I really enjoyed meeting Ice Tray this weekend.

324. Any time you want to invite any of your other friends

325. just let us know.

326. - You enjoyed it? - Yeah, a lot.

327. Wasn't Hilary falling in love with Tray

328. just the icing on the cake?

329. I'm glad they had fun together.

330. Yeah. Me, too. You know..

331. It's just a shame he had to leave

332. before he had a chance to ruin her life enough.

333. I'm sorry I said that, it's just that—

334. But you meant it.

335. I mean, it was cool as long as Tray was just some clown to

336. come out here and bring me some cheese steaks and cheer me up.

337. Hold on. The second you found out that Hilary liked him

338. you wanted him out of here.

339. That's something I'd expect from Uncle Phil

340. not from you, Aunt Viv.

341. - Hilary is my daughter, Will. - And Tray is my best friend.

342. We grew up together. We're from the same neighborhood.

343. We're the same person.

344. If Tray's not good enough for this family, then maybe I'm not.

345. No. You are not the same person.

346. - I know who I am. - No, you listen to me.

347. Now, I can see why you like Ice Tray.

348. He's a lot of fun. Everything's a joke to him.

349. School, work, people. He doesn't care about anything.

350. Yeah, well, he always managed to care about me.

351. Will, I'm glad he's a good friend

352. but that doesn't change who he is.

353. I'm sorry, but a young man his age

354. should be able to do something else

355. besides fight and jump fences.

356. - You weren't there. - I know, but still—

357. When I was in seventh grade, everytime I tried

358. to bring books home from school the kids would jump me

359. so Tray started walking me home.

360. And if he hadn't been there to throw those punches

361. and help me jump those fences

362. then maybe I wouldn't be here.

363. Well, while he was busy protecting your books

364. where the hell were his?

365. What's that got to do with anything?

366. Will, I'm glad he cared so much about you.

367. But why doesn't he care as much about himself?

368. Because nobody was there for Tray.

369. You ever think that if he hadn't been there to cover my back

370. maybe I wouldn't care about myself either.

371. And that would be an awful waste.

372. I shall load Mr. Tray's belongings into the cannon.

373. I mean cab, madam.

374. We miss you in the 'hood, homeboy.

375. Why don't you come on back with me?

376. No, I better cool out here, man.

377. If Uncle Phil woke up one morning and I wasn't here

378. he'd have a nervous breakdown or something.

379. I'd recover, Will.

380. I'm really going to miss you, Ice Tray.

381. Alright, Mrs. Banks. Thanks for inviting me out.

382. We gotta do this again sometime.

383. Have a safe trip back. And take care of yourself.

384. Thanks.

385. Snap. I almost forgot. I got a little something for y'all.

386. - That's our china dog. - Yeah.

387. Well, I figured y'all were so nice to me and everything

388. that, hey, I don't need it.

389. That was a joke.

390. Babe.

391. Tray, you've become a part of my spirit

392. that's never been touched before.

393. I feel a oneness with you

394. and now that you're leaving I just

395. I have this sense that life will be empty, hollow

396. and meaningless.

397. Well, peep this, babe.

398. See, I have this first-class ticket.

399. Now we could go down to the airport and trade it for two

400. coach tickets and you could come back to Philly with me.

401. What do you think?

402. Coach?