1. WHAT DOG DID HE STEAL
THAT SWEATER FROM?
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2. PROBABLY HIS WIFE.
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3. GOOD GOD, WHO SHOT THE COUCH?
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4. GIVE HER A BREAK, HILARY. SHE
JUST WON THE KENTUCKY DERBY.
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5. WHO'S THAT LADY
WITH NELL CARTER?
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6. THAT'S NOT NELL
CARTER. THAT'S MY FATHER!
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7. GOD, YOU'RE SO
SHALLOW. I HATE YOU.
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8. YOU'RE STUPID AND UGLY
AND I WISH YOU WOULD DIE.
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9. - SORRY.
- OKAY.
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10. LOOK AT HER!
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11. BRAKE! HIT THE BRAKE, WILL!
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12. - WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?
- I'M SORRY. IT AIN'T MY FAULT.
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13. I PANICKED. THAT SQUIRREL
CAME OUT OF NOWHERE.
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14. PHILIP, I'LL CALL THE MANAGER
AND HAVE HIM REMOVE THE CART.
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15. OH, LET'S JUST DRAW MORE
ATTENTION TO OURSELVES.
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16. - GET IN THE CART, VIVIAN.
- NO.
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17. I'M SORRY, MR. BANKS, BUT NO
GOLF CARTS IN THE DINING ROOM.
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18. YOU'VE CERTAINLY MADE A
NAME AT THIS COUNTRY CLUB.
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19. I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED IF THEY
REVOKED OUR SHUFFLEBOARD PRIVILEGES.
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20. THAT'S FINE WITH ME. THIS
PLACE IS WACK. I'M OUT OF HERE.
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21. HOLD UP.
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22. SPECIAL BULLETIN.
HORMONES TO WILL.
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23. HOLD UP YOURSELF, WILL.
THAT'S MIMI MUMFORD.
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24. YOU CAN'T GET TO FIRST BASE WITH
HER UNLESS YOU IMPRESS HER FATHER.
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25. HE'S AN EMINENT SURGEON, A
CHAMPIONSHIP POLO PLAYER...
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26. AND AROUND THESE PARTS,
HE'S KNOWN AS DR. NO.
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27. - WHY DO THEY CALL HIM THAT?
- BECAUSE HE NEVER SAYS "YES."
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28. NO YOUNG MAN IS GOOD
ENOUGH FOR HIS DAUGHTER.
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29. HE AIN'T GONNA HAVE A CHANCE TO
TELL ME NO 'CAUSE I AIN'T GONNA ASK.
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30. MIMI, IF YOU'RE NOT
BUSY ON FRIDAY NIGHT...
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31. WOULD YOU LIKE TO ACCOMPANY
ME TO THE APPLE BLOSSOM BALL?
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32. NO.
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33. WHAT'S YOUR NAME, BOY?
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34. WHAT SCHOOL DO YOU GO TO?
WHAT COLLEGE ARE YOU APPLYING TO?
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35. WHAT'S YOUR CAREER PLANS?
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36. I'M JUST A SOPHOMORE,
SIR. I DON'T REALLY KNOW YET.
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37. OUT OF HERE, SON.
YOU DISGUST ME.
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38. SO, WHAT KIND OF GUY
DOES DR. NO SAY YES TO?
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39. FELLAS WITH GOOD GRADES,
GOOD MANNERS, GOOD LOOKS.
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40. IN A WORD, ME.
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41. SO WHY HAVEN'T YOU MADE
YOUR MOVE ON MISS MIMI?
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42. NOT MY TYPE. DOESN'T
TICKLE MY FANCY.
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43. WELL, SHE CAN TICKLE MINE.
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44. IF ONLY WISHING MADE IT SO.
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45. LET'S FACE IT, WILL. YOU
LACK THE SOCIAL GRACES...
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46. TO IMPRESS SOMEONE LIKE DR. NO.
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47. BOY, YOU MUST BE ON DOG FOOD.
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48. I AM THE MOST HANDSOME,
THE MOST INTELLIGENT...
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49. AND UNEQUIVOCALLY THE MOST
FLAMBOYANT BACHELOR SINCE BILLY DEE.
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50. THIS ISN'T WEST
PHILLY, WILL. IT'S BEL-AIR.
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51. AND THE WOMEN
HERE ARE DIFFERENT.
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52. I GUARANTEE YOU
DR. NO WILL SAY NO.
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53. - YEAH? I BET HE WON'T.
- I BET HE WILL.
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54. - I BET HE WON'T.
- I'LL BET HE WILL.
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55. WHO SAYS THE ART OF
CONVERSATION IS DEAD?
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56. ALL RIGHT, WILL. YOU THINK
YOU CAN BE A GENTLEMAN?
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57. HOW DO YOU PROPOSE
ON GOING ABOUT IT?
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58. CARLTON, IT'S VERY
EASY TO BE A GEEK.
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59. ALL I HAVE TO DO IS FOLLOW
YOU AROUND FOR A DAY.
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60. IT ISN'T AS EASY AS IT LOOKS.
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61. AND WITH YOUR
FATHER'S PERMISSION...
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62. I'D LOVE TO ESCORT YOU
TO THE APPLE BLOSSOM BALL.
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63. I HAD NO IDEA YOU TWO
WERE GETTING ALONG SO WELL.
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64. WHAT'S GOING ON HERE, CARLTON?
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65. WILL'S GOT A THING
FOR MIMI MUMFORD...
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66. SO I'M TEACHING HIM HOW
TO BE A PERFECT GENTLEMAN.
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67. I WANT A PIECE OF THIS.
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68. OBSERVE, WILL, THIS IS
HOW A PERFECT GENTLEMAN...
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69. TALKS TO A YOUNG LADY.
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70. "SAY THERE, MIMI...
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71. "MIGHT I SAY THAT YOU RATE A
PERFECT 10 ON MY NIFTINESS METER?"
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72. I DON'T THINK SO.
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73. UNCLE PHIL, HOW DID YOU
USED TO CRACK ON THE GIRLIES?
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74. WHAT I'M ABOUT TO TELL YOU IS
GOING TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE FOREVER.
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75. - ARE YOU LISTENING?
- YEAH.
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76. FIRST, I TAKE HER HAND...
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77. THEN I STROKE IT GENTLY
BUT IMPERCEPTIBLY...
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78. LOOK DEEP INTO HER EYES,
BLOW GENTLY IN HER EAR...
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79. LET MY MOUTH CURL
UP INTO A SMILE...
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80. MAKE A LOW, RUMBLING,
HYPNOTIC SOUND.
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81. PHILIP, THAT'S WHAT YOU
DID ON OUR FIRST DATE.
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82. - THAT'S RIGHT.
- YOU'RE LUCKY YOU GOT A SECOND ONE.
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83. ALLOW ME, SIR.
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84. CERTAINLY, GEOFFREY, IF YOU
THINK YOU CAN DO ANY BETTER.
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85. MADEMOISELLE.
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86. MY LIFE WAS BUT A MERE WHISPER
UNTIL YOU ENTERED INTO IT.
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87. WHETHER IT WAS
CHANCE OR BLIND FATE...
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88. OR KISMET, IF YOU WILL,
THAT BROUGHT US TOGETHER...
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89. I WOULD BE REMISS TO LET THIS
MOMENT PASS WITHOUT TELLING YOU...
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90. HOW DEEPLY YOU HAVE AFFECTED
THE VERY CORE OF MY BEING.
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91. BABY!
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92. - THE FISH KNIFE.
- YEAH, RIGHT.
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93. NO, IT IS RIGHT.
HE GOT IT RIGHT.
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94. - HE GOT IT RIGHT!
- HE DID?
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95. GET YOUR OWN GEISHA.
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96. EXCUSE ME, MASTER CARLTON.
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97. - YOU WERE SAYING?
- WILL, HE PICKED OUT THE FISH KNIFE.
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98. WILL, I WANT YOU TO PAY
VERY CLOSE ATTENTION.
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99. WHICH ONE IS THE SHRIMP FORK?
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100. BY GEORGE, I THINK HE'S GOT IT.
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101. I THINK HE'S GOT IT.
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102. WHERE DID HE GET THAT JACKET?
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103. PROBABLY OFF THE RACK.
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104. - DID YOU HEAR ABOUT HIS JAGUAR?
- THE ONE HE BOUGHT SECONDHAND?
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105. OKAY, JUST REMEMBER
YOU'RE FROM CONNECTICUT...
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106. YOU'RE TRANSFERRED TO BEL-AIR
ACADEMY, AND YOU ROW ON THE CREW TEAM.
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107. NOW, WHERE DID
YOU TRANSFER FROM?
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108. BEND OVER.
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109. IT'S ANDOVER. WE'RE
GOING BACK HOME.
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110. I WAS JOKING, MAN.
RELAX. HOOK IT UP.
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111. I BEG YOUR PARDON, DR. MUMFORD.
I HAVE A FRIEND WHO'S NEW IN TOWN.
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112. HE'S THE NEW STAR ON THE CREW
TEAM. WOULD YOU LIKE TO MEET HIM?
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113. NO.
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114. I RESPECT YOUR WISHES, SIR...
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115. BUT I'D JUST LIKE TO SAY KUDOS
ON THAT POLO MATCH. SUPER FORM.
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116. YOU SAW IT, HUH? EXCUSE
ME. I DIDN'T GET YOUR NAME.
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117. SMITHERS, SIR. KIP SMITHERS.
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118. HAVE A SEAT, SMITHERS.
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119. - MAY I JOIN YOU, SIR?
- NO.
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120. WHAT SCHOOL DO YOU GO TO?
WHAT COLLEGE HAVE YOU APPLIED TO?
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121. WHAT'S YOUR CAREER PLANS?
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122. BEL-AIR ACADEMY, PRINCETON,
AND THORACIC SURGERY, SIR.
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123. THORACIC SURGERY.
THAT'S MY FIELD.
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124. WHAT ASPECT OF IT
INTERESTS YOU THE MOST?
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125. THE CUTTING PART.
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126. THAT'S THE PART I LIKE, TOO.
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127. LISTEN, I'M GLAD
YOU'RE A FAN OF POLO.
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128. I HAVE A VERY FINE
STRING OF ARABIANS.
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129. REALLY? WITH TURBANS
AND EVERYTHING?
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130. VERY FUNNY, SMITHERS. YOU
HAD ME THERE FOR A MOMENT.
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131. I THOUGHT YOU WERE
A BLITHERING IDIOT.
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132. THERE'S MY DAUGHTER.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO MEET HER?
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133. GOSH, SIR. THERE'S A BIG
QUESTION MARK ON THAT ONE.
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134. I SEEM TO BE PAINFULLY
SHY WITH THE FAIRER SEX.
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135. NONSENSE.
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136. - HI, DADDY.
- POODLES.
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137. THERE IS SOMEONE
I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET.
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138. MIMI, KIP SMITHERS.
VARSITY CREW FROM BEL-AIR.
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139. A GENTLEMAN AND A SCHOLAR
AND SOON TO BE A FINE SURGEON.
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140. YOU FLATTER ME, SIR.
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141. I'LL JUST LEAVE THE
TWO OF YOU ALONE.
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142. - MIMI...
- LOOK, BEFORE YOU GET YOURSELF...
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143. ALL WORKED UP INTO A LATHER,
I JUST WOULD LIKE TO SAY THIS.
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144. I AM SICK OF YOU WHITE-WASHED,
PREPPY STUFFED SHIRTS.
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145. WHAT?
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146. I DON'T NEED SOME STOOGE WHO'S
GOING TO PLAY UP TO MY FATHER.
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147. I WANT A REAL MAN. SOMEONE
DANGEROUS. SOMEONE EXCITING.
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148. SOMEONE FROM THE STREETS.
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149. - WHAT'S SO FUNNY?
- YO, BABY.
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150. YOUR PRINCE IS IN EFFECT, BABY.
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151. I'M NOT DOWN WITH
THIS PREPPY NONSENSE.
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152. CARLTON TOLD ME TO DO THIS. I'M
DEFINITELY STRAIGHT OUT THE 'HOOD.
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153. THAT WAS THE WORST
HOMEBOY ACT I'VE EVER HEARD.
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154. IT'S NOT AN ACT. IT'S THE
REAL DEAL. YO, C! COME HERE!
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155. MIMI. KIP.
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156. CARLTON, WOULD YOU PLEASE
TELL HER WHO I REALLY AM?
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157. - WHO YOU REALLY ARE?
- YES.
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158. HE'S KIP SMITHERS,
FROM CONNECTICUT.
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159. HE TRANSFERRED FROM ANDOVER TO
BEL-AIR, SO HE COULD ROW WITH THE CREW.
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160. NO. TELL HER WHERE
I'M REALLY FROM.
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161. ENGLAND?
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