1. Let's take five, guys.
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2. Will, was that really necessary?
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3. I'm sorry, Carlton.
You thought I was laughing at you?
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4. That's what it sounded like.
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5. No. See, when I laugh at you,
it's more like this...
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6. Just for future reference.
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7. Man, y'all butchered that song.
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8. Hey, C, I'm telling you,
if the Commodores heard you singing...
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9. they'd tie you down to the tracks
and run you over with the soul train.
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10. I can understand why you're threatened.
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11. After all, you two possess
absolutely no musical ability.
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12. Face it, you're so jealous, you're green.
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13. All right, but just out of curiosity, Carlton,
what color are you?
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14. Here we go again.
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15. Just because I grew up
in the best neighborhoods...
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16. and pronounce the "I-n-g's
at the end of my words...
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17. doesn't make me any less black than you.
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18. No. It's that tie that does it.
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19. Face it, C, I'm telling you.
if you went down to Jazz's neighborhood...
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20. looking the way you look
and talking the way you talk...
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21. you wouldn't come home
walking the way you walk.
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22. - And what neighborhood is that?
- Compton.
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23. And if you can make it there,
you'll make it anywhere.
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24. I'd do just fine and dandy in Compton,
thank you very much.
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25. You know, C, talk is cheap.
What do you say to a bet?
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26. Name it.
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27. I'll bet you
you wouldn't last a day in Compton.
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28. All right. And if I do, you have to stop
making those cheap shots at me.
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29. I don't know.
That's my whole reason for living.
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30. - Better make it two days.
- Two days? Piece of cake.
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31. And I guarantee, when I get to Compton,
I'll fit right in.
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32. Damn! Why didn't we bet money?
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33. Hello, everybody.
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34. It looks like the working girl is poised
for a promotion.
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35. What's up?
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36. I sold my first picture at the art gallery.
I think I'm going to get a raise.
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37. Excellent, Miss Hilary.
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38. You must let me know
what that feels like.
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39. if you wanna go to Compton,
you gotta go through with this.
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40. But I've never lied to my parents.
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41. It even gave me the willies
when Beaver used to do it.
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42. Fine. The bet's off, then.
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43. Man, it's about to be
Diss-fest '91 around here.
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44. And I feel one coming on now.
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45. All right, I'll do it.
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46. - Hi, Aunt Viv.
- Hi, guys.
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47. Hi, Mom.
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48. Dad, did you sign our permission slips yet?
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49. I'm sorry, I don't know
what you're talking about.
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50. Two weeks ago, when Will and I gave you
a permission slip...
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51. for our field trip this weekend.
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52. You said you'd think about it
and sign it later.
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53. It doesn't ring a bell.
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54. Dad, you're always saying
how important these opportunities are.
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55. And when they come up,
you completely ignore them.
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56. It's like you don't even care.
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57. I remember.
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58. Where are you going, baby?
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59. Mr. Fellows is taking the class
to San Francisco...
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60. to visit Mark Twain's house,
and all the literary sites.
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61. I don't know. I thought it was important.
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62. Philip, how could you forget
something like that?
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63. I didn't forget, Vivian.
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64. Now, where did I put
those permission slips?
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65. Dad, don't bother looking.
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66. I found it in the trash can,
underneath a banana.
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67. Honestly, forgetting your son
and nephew like that...
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68. Here you are, guys.
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69. - Thanks, Dad.
- Thanks a lot, Uncle Phil.
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70. I mean, really, Philip, I think
you ought to review your priorities.
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71. I'm going straight to hell.
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72. Well, here we are, C. Jazz's crib.
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73. house, dwelling, domicile.
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74. How did you know that?
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75. Hip-hop flash cards?
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76. I made them myself.
I've been cramming all night.
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77. I just hope I can get it out of my head
before I take the SATs.
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78. - Yo, J.
- Prince.
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79. Hi, roomie.
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80. That's called leaving me hanging...
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81. because my hand
is literally left hanging in the air.
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82. My brothers.
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83. I want you to meet
Boomps, Vidal and Tiny.
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84. My cousin Carlton.
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85. What was that all about?
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86. Where do I put my things?
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87. Let me have my butler get them.
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88. Sorry.
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89. I crack myself up.
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90. You can put them on the floor,
but watch out for my carpet...
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91. 'cause it's imported from Persia.
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92. I could do this all day.
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93. Just take them to the bedroom.
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94. Now that Carlton's unpacked,
I could go for grub.
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95. What do I do till you guys get back?
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96. Well, let's see.
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97. Chill.
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98. What's up?
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99. Don't mind me. I'm just here on a bet.
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100. Just give me some time
to acclimate myself.
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101. Applegate? That sounds
like a school word.
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102. I don't like school words.
I can't applegate myself to them.
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103. - That's very funny.
- It ain't supposed to be.
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104. - Sorry.
- I don't like you.
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105. That's kind of a snap decision, isn't it?
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106. You've hardly had time to form an opinion.
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107. That's real mature.
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108. Everybody, put your hands in the air!
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109. What was that all about?
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110. Yo, fellas.
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111. Brother, want to buy a Gucci bag?
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112. My sister already has about eight of them.
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113. - $20.
- I'm really not—
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114. - $2.
- I don't really need—
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115. - 50 cents.
- What are you talking about?
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116. 20 cents.
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117. 20 cents. That's not a real Gucci bag, is it?
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118. Maybe it is. Maybe it ain't.
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119. All right, look, homey.
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120. You're never going to sell bags that way.
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121. Maybe if you went out
and bought a well-tailored suit...
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122. and lost the earring,
then you'd look like a real salesman.
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123. And that grammar...
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124. What?
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125. Are you trying to suggest
that I don't know how to run my business?
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126. I don't know, Jazz.
I just feel bad for Carlton, man.
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127. What does he know
about living in the 'hood?
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128. I spent half the ride trying
to convince him not to say, "Dyn-o-mite."
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129. I just feel like I'm tossing him to the lions.
You know what I mean?
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130. The Detroit Lions still got
those cheerleaders?
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131. Open the door, man.
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132. Yes, that's right. You can buy property
for no money down.
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133. Yo, what's up?
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134. Carlton, what the hell are you wearing?
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135. Yo, this?
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136. Carlton, you look like a pirate.
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137. Yo, stop fronting.
You know this gear is chill.
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138. Why are you talking like that?
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139. Yo, how you playing me, Prince?
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140. - What?
- Yo, you dissing me.
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141. Come on, man, stop it.
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142. Hey, Prince, lay off of him, man.
We like C-note.
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143. C-note?
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144. Yeah. He was a little stiff,
but he's coming around.
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145. Yeah. He's helping us with our business.
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146. Hey, C-note, how do I figure
my net worth?
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147. Yo, how many times do I gotta tell you?
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148. Write your questions down.
I'll hook you up later.
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149. I'm sorry. That was rude of me, man.
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150. Yo, we cool.
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151. They love me.
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152. Jazz, tell me that this isn't happening.
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153. I don't know, Prince.
I'm starting to like him, too.
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154. Yo, C, I want to thank you for that tip.
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155. I'm going to get me
some of them douche marks.
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156. That's deutsche marks.
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157. Yo, check it out, C. I'm leaving, right?
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158. I'll get back with you later so you can help
me open that Schwab account.
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159. Peace.
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160. C-note, are you still coming
to MacArthur Park tomorrow night?
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161. Yo, I'm with it.
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162. You're going to MacArthur Park at night?
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163. Yeah. My squad's going to sell
some Gucci bags.
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164. It's a sales bonanza.
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165. Sorry. There's no hip-hop word
for sales bonanza.
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166. C, I don't go to MacArthur Park.
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167. What's up, Will?
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168. Not man enough to swing
with the brothers?
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169. Get over here, man.
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170. You have no idea
what MacArthur Park is like.
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171. It's dangerous, man.
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172. if there's any danger,
I'll call the park rangers.
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173. It's not that kind of park, Boo Boo.
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174. Listen, people get killed there.
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175. You have no idea
what you're getting yourself into.
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176. I know exactly
what I'm getting myself into.
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177. I'm tired of you
always talking down to me.
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178. I'll win our bet. And you'll never be able
to make fun of me again.
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179. You know what? The bet is off.
Come on, let's go home.
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180. Hey, leave C-note alone, man.
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181. He ain't leaving till he does my taxes.
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182. Yo. I'm gonna sleep on the floor.
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183. When are Carlton and Will coming home?
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184. They should be here any minute.
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185. These two days have just flown right by.
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186. Geoffrey, did you really enjoy
having Will out of the house that much?
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187. The closest I'll ever get to a bonus.
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188. Yo, my squad, what's up?
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189. - Carlton?
- What happened to you?
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190. Weren't you on your school trip?
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191. I'm quitting school. That's for suckers.
I'm starting my own business.
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192. - I can get $20 for this china dog.
- No, you won't.
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193. $2.
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194. Who's responsible for this?
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195. Listen, I can explain.
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196. Daddy. Stop it!
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197. This is the police!
Carlton, come out with your hands up.
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198. You'll never take me alive.
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199. - ls Hilary ready yet?
- Would you like me to go get her?
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200. Could you?
I don't know what takes her so long...
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201. we're never this late for church.
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202. Has anybody seen Geoffrey this morning?
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203. - No. Why?
- Just wondering where he is.
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204. Philip, his weekends are his own.
It's none of our business where he goes.
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205. Madam. I assumed
you'd be in church by now.
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206. Maybe you'd care to join us.
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207. On reflection, perhaps I should.
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208. I'm ready to go,
but we can't drive too fast...
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209. because things haven't set yet.
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210. if we hurry,
we'll get there before the service starts...
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211. - but we'll have to sit toward the back.
- The back row?
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212. The light is completely different there.
I have to change.
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213. Uncle Phil, Aunt Viv, I'm glad I caught you.
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214. - Why aren't you in San Francisco?
- Where's Carlton?
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215. Before I tell you that, Uncle Phil,
I just want to—
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216. Where's Carlton?
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217. In Compton.
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218. What is he doing in Compton?
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219. A very bad imitation of me.
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220. What?
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221. Look, he just started tripping, Aunt Viv.
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222. See, we had this bet
that he couldn't hang out in the 'hood.
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223. He's just taking it too far.
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224. He's going to MacArthur Park tonight
to sell Korean Gucci bags.
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225. - MacArthur Park?
- Where is he right now?
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226. He's down at Jazz's crib.
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227. I am going down there
and I am bringing my baby back.
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228. Vivian. Calm down.
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229. Now, nobody's going anywhere.
Except Will.
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230. Will? That's me. Where am I going?
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231. You're going down to Jazz's
and you're bringing Carlton back here...
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232. by the time we're back from church.
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233. - See, I can't exactly do that, Uncle Phil.
- Why not?
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234. It's just the way things work
down in the 'hood.
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235. if a brother comes between
a brother and his brothers...
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236. then that brother's considered a mother.
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237. I'll tell you who's a mother: Me.
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238. And I am going there
and I am bringing my baby back.
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239. Vivian. Put your earrings back on.
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240. I don't care how this makes you look
to your friends.
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241. I'm tired of bailing you out.
Why should I always be the heavy?
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242. No. I'm in enough trouble as it is.
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243. Grab a seat, man. Dude's about to explain
variable rate mortgages.
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244. - Later. You gotta come home.
- I'm not leaving.
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245. I called Aunt Viv to tell her
how we was doing in San Francisco...
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246. she gave me some bad news, man.
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247. Geoffrey fell down the back steps,
split his wig.
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248. We gotta go to the hospital.
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249. Knock it off, Will.
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250. I'm not lying, man.
The whole family's down at the hospital.
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251. Do what you want. I'm going down there.
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252. - You're serious?
- Yes.
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253. C-note, you better go, man.
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254. Yeah. Later.
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255. My condolences.
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256. Great. Let's go.
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257. - Carlton.
- Mom.
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258. Aunt Viv, what are you doing here?
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259. What does it look like I'm doing here?
I came to get my boy.
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260. Mom, I can explain.
We were on our way to San Francisco...
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261. when I realized I had
a Sociology report to do—
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262. Don't even try, Carlton.
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263. Will told me everything.
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264. It was a bet.
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265. A bet? I don't care.
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266. You are not going
to MacArthur Park tonight.
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267. In fact, none of you are going
to MacArthur Park tonight.
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268. Wait a minute.
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269. - Boy, do not test me.
- Yes, ma'am.
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270. Carlton, Will, get your things.
I will be waiting downstairs in the car.
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271. And another thing, this place is a disgrace.
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272. You have a trashcan, honey. Use it.
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273. You went home and told Mom and Dad?
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274. You dimed him out.
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275. I did the right thing.
Carlton was acting irresponsibly.
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276. Carlton was acting in what? In Cosby?
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277. Prince used a school word.
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278. You 5-0'd your own cousin.
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279. - Man, you're getting soft.
- Sellout.
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280. Man, you're about to catch an eye jammy.
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281. You're getting a little pale on us,
ain't you?
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282. - My brother, you wanna take this outside?
- Yo, Prince, chill out.
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283. I can't let him say
that stuff about me, man.
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284. Maybe now you know what it feels like.
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285. What's it like to be in this much trouble?
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286. Why don't you ask Will.
He's been there before.
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287. Well, they're going to do
all the talking anyway...
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288. so you just pretty much nod
and say, "I'm sorry."
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289. And cry if you can.
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290. Have Mom and Dad talked to you yet?
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291. No, but I think I heard Uncle Phil upstairs
testing his belts out.
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292. Look, guys, I know you're worried...
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293. but earlier I was upstairs
with Mom and Dad...
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294. and even though
they were initially upset...
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295. now I really think
they'll overlook the whole thing.
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296. Really?
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297. What, are you kidding?
They're going to kill you guys.
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298. All right, guys. Stand up.
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299. Okay, this is new.
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300. The only way we're going to make it
is if we stick together.
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301. Explain.
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302. It's all Carlton's fault.
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303. Will started it.
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304. - You got there and started tripping.
- You were the one who made the bet.
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305. - It was your idea in the first place.
- You're the one—
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306. Hold it.
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307. I am ashamed of you two.
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308. Not only did you lie to us...
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309. but you put yourselves in danger
for a stupid bet.
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310. But, Mom, we were never
in any real danger.
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311. Well, you are now.
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312. Uncle Phil, at this juncture,
I just want to ask...
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313. is one of us in any more trouble
than the other?
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314. Will, you were the one
who started this whole thing.
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315. - I'm sorry, Aunt Viv.
- "I'm sorry"?
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316. How many times
are we going to hear that?
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317. When will you start
taking responsibility for your actions?
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318. When are you going to grow up, boy?
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319. I'm sorry, Aunt Viv.
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320. Will, sit down.
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321. None of this would have happened...
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322. if you hadn't insisted
on making fun of your cousin.
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323. For a person
who's always going around saying...
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324. "l wish people would let me act
the way I want"...
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325. you're awfully hard on Carlton.
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326. - That was my point.
- That's no excuse.
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327. Just because Will teases you,
you have to do something this foolish?
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328. I know it seemed foolish...
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329. but I had to show him I had
the courage to survive down there.
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330. That's not courage.
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331. Courage is being the way you are,
no matter what anybody says about you.
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332. Will teases me...
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333. but you don't see me going,
"Yo, yo, yo, homey, yo."
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334. There's no "yo" at the end of it.
I'm pretty sure of it.
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335. I'm glad you two had such a fun time
down in the 'hood.
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336. Because we're going to have a fun time
dreaming up your punishment.
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337. Peace out.
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338. I'm going to go test the lock on my door.
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339. Good night, Carlton.
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340. What do you mean, "Good night"?
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341. This is my time to gloat.
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342. - Gloat?
- I won the bet.
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343. I humiliated you in front of your peers.
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344. Plus, you said I couldn't handle Compton,
and I did.
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345. I'd say it's time to gloat.
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346. Good night, Carlton.
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347. You're just embarrassed
because I beat you at your own game.
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348. I never judge you
for being the way you are...
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349. but you always act
like I don't measure up...
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350. to some rule of blackness
that you carry around.
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351. Hold it. Wait a minute.
You don't judge me?
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352. You do everything
but carry a big old gavel around.
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353. You treat me like some kind of idiot
just 'cause I talk different.
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354. Differently.
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355. Good night, Carlton.
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356. Just so I don't need to tell you later...
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357. I did win the bet.
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358. - No, you did not.
- Yes, I did.
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359. Our bet was you couldn't spend
the weekend in Compton...
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360. and you didn't.
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361. Because you got me.
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362. if I hadn't,
you'd have gotten killed.
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363. And why was that important to you?
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364. It wasn't.
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365. Yes, it was.
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366. Admit it, Will. You care about me.
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367. I do not.
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368. Yes, you do. You like me.
You like having me around.
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369. Carlton, take it back, man.
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370. Face it. You've just got to face it.
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371. You love me.
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372. My brother, you wanna take this outside?
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