The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air 1x22

Directed by Jeff Melman

J.D. Hall as Charlie Mack • Angela Gordon as Gloria • Jeff Chayette as Louie • Hugh Dane as Fred Lomax Jr. • Michelle Simms as Michelle

Will crawls to Philip for help after sneaking out on the town and getting hustled by sleazy pool sharks.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Here are my car keys.

2. Ashley has a birthday party to go on Saturday afternoon.

3. And Carlton may use the car for glee club practice.

4. And Master William?

5. He's not allowed to use the car again

6. until August of 1992.

7. Very well, madam.

8. Everybody, I'm going.

9. Excuse me, mother

10. but I am very, very offended.

11. What is it this time, Hilary?

12. - I've started recycling. - That's not it.

13. I mean, instead of making Geoffrey work on the weekend

14. you should leave the running of the household to me.

15. I mean, I am 21 years old.

16. I'm sorry, baby, I didn't think you'd want to run the household.

17. Well, I've gotta learn sometime.

18. After all, in a couple of years, I'm going to have my own family.

19. And my own butler.

20. I hope it's no one I know.

21. - Ready to go, sweetheart? - Mm-hm. All set.

22. Well, if you had to pick a weekend to go out of town

23. you picked a good one.

24. I'll be at the office working

25. most of the time anyway.

26. Well, if you have a lot of work to do

27. why don't you just do it here?

28. That's why.

29. How y'all doing? Eh..

30. I just got my hair cut. Kind of fly, huh?

31. I don't understand why you get your hair cut like that?

32. Come on, Uncle Phil, all the brothers in Philly

33. play their hair like this.

34. Hair on the top, none on the sides.

35. But I guess y'all got kind of a reverse thing going on here.

36. - Well, Will, I'm leaving. - Oh..

37. You're leaving.. Hey.. F-finally.

38. I always thought you could do better.

39. Good luck.

40. Will, I'm going to Berkeley to give my lecture.

41. Oh, you are? When you coming back?

42. Tomorrow night.

43. Now, while I'm gone, I want you to do

44. everything your Uncle Philip says.

45. Yo, Aunt Viv, wait, wait, wait. Aunt Viv, don't leave me here.

46. Aunt Viv, don't leave me here with him!

47. - Aunt Viv, he's gonna eat me. - Will..

48. - Don't leave me here, Aunt Viv. - Will..

49. Michelle, we're in luck.

50. My mom's away for the weekend, our butler's off duty

51. my dad'll be leaving for the office any minute.

52. And I, uh, just took a multivitamin.

53. Ooh.

54. I really like this room, Carlton.

55. You'll like it more in a minute.

56. Michelle, I just wanted to say

57. I think you're the most talented member

58. on the swimnastics team.

59. Well, I can hold my breath for long periods of time.

60. Good.

61. We're going under.

62. Hello, hello.

63. Rice Krispie Treats?

64. What are you doing? Mom left me in charge.

65. So I have to be responsible for the children.

66. We were in the middle of something.

67. Come on, kids, let's have a little talk.

68. Carlton, Michelle

69. I can remember what it was like to be your age.

70. Your bodies are going through a lot of changes now

71. and you're probably having a lot of feelings

72. that you've never had before.

73. But even though there's a lot of pressure from your peers

74. remember, you don't have to pet to be popular.

75. Let's go to the mall.

76. And who exactly is going to be at this mall?

77. Come on, Uncle Phil, look, I promise

78. I'll take good care of the car.

79. Give me that.

80. I'll trade you for the car keys.

81. Will, I have a lot of work to do.

82. So I'm gonna make this short and sweet.

83. I don't want you taking our car downtown

84. to some pool hall.

85. Y-you can't do this to me!

86. Aunt Viv!

87. Ooh, she's gone.

88. That's right, Will.

89. No one can hear you scream.

90. Come on, Uncle Phil, look, just 'cause you don't like

91. pool halls doesn't mean that I shouldn't go.

92. You're just trying to make sure I don't have any fun.

93. Your only source of pleasure is making me unhappy.

94. That's not true.

95. I have my wine collection.

96. Hold up, hold up, hold up.

97. You wasn't listening.

98. Your uncle ain't say

99. you couldn't go to the pool hall.

100. He say he ain'twantyou to go to the pool hall.

101. It's a difference.

102. What, what are you, ignorant?

103. Pick up the damn keys.

104. The next time you come in here

105. I'm going to use this.

106. And stay out!

107. I had your back.

108. And so what do you want?

109. To be your friend.

110. Dream on.

111. - Then I'll take a table. - Well, you're in luck.

112. Table seven over here is vacant.

113. Fred! Fred, get up!

114. Man, I can't get no sleep around here today

115. to save my life.

116. Alright, young man, I only have three rules

117. No spittin', no fightin'

118. and use coasters.

119. Alright, alright, who wants some?

120. I'll play.

121. Step right up, my man. You can break.

122. Want to put a little money on it just to make it interesting?

123. Nah, my man, just playing for fun.

124. What the hey? Maybe just $5.00 a ball.

125. - Whoo! - Whoo!

126. Who wants some? Ha-ha!

127. - Who wants some? - I do.

128. Ooh.

129. So you want to play me, my brother?

130. Since you done beat all the suckers at this table

131. maybe you'd like to try your luck over here

132. with the big boys.

133. Ain't no thing but a chicken wing.

134. My game is all that.

135. Alright, then.

136. Twenty a ball is what we shoot.

137. Wait, wait, whoa, wait. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

138. What, like $20 a ball?

139. You in the big leagues now, boy. What's wrong?

140. No confidence in your game?

141. - No, no, that ain't it. - Then what is it?

142. I mean, it's just you look like king of the hill

143. around here or somethin'.

144. Hey, you can take him, kid.

145. Yeah, give him some, Will.

146. Well and then I really wouldn't want to do

147. what I know I can do, if you know what I mean.

148. No, I don't know what you mean.

149. Why don't you tell me?

150. I know what he means.

151. - You do? - Well, yeah.

152. It don't take a genius to understand the boy.

153. He said in plain English that he didn't wanna embarrass

154. your ugly behind up here in front of these girls.

155. - I didn't— - And he also say..

156. That if it weren't for the fact he won so much

157. fromthatfool over there, he'd take your money, too.

158. Thank you very much for clearing that up for us, Fred.

159. Alright then, my brother, rack 'em.

160. Well, well, well, my brother

161. looks like you owe me a nice little piece of change

162. like 500 big ones.

163. Five hundred?

164. And 10% for his manager.

165. Wait.. Y'all hustled me.

166. Hustled is such a ugly word.

167. I prefer to think of it as creative money management.

168. - Now hand it over. - M-my man, all I got is 200.

169. No, no, no. See, that ain't all you got.

170. I seem to recall you driving up here in a Benz.

171. Uh, hold it. Wait. That car ain't even mine, man.

172. Ha ha ha. You are so right, my brother.

173. It's mine.

174. Hi, sweetie, where you going?

175. Um, Kimberly's mom is picking me up. I'm going to the party.

176. What kind of party?

177. Sarah's birthday party. Mom told you about it.

178. Okay, and who's going to be there?

179. Courtney, Priscilla, Maggie, David, Josh—

180. Wait, wait, let's just hold it right there

181. with David and Josh, young lady.

182. Now I was not informed there would be boys at this party.

183. I really, really don't like the sound of this.

184. But all my friends are gonna be there.

185. And if all your friends jumped off a cliff

186. would you do it, too?

187. Oh, well, that's my ride. Bye, Hilary.

188. And no running in the house!

189. You'll put your eye out!

190. Hilary, Hilary, listen. Uh, I'm in big trouble.

191. - I need your help. - What's wrong?

192. - Look, I-I just need $300. - $300? What for?

193. Hey, youngblood. Man!

194. Y'all sure got it going on up in here!

195. Will, who is he?

196. Listen, Hilary, he's from the pool hall.

197. I just lost a couple of games and I need $300.

198. You blew $300

199. and you don't even have a sweater to show for it?

200. Look, Will, I was put in charge of you.

201. When mom finds out, she's going to kill me.

202. Look, she won't find out if you just get me the money.

203. Okay, okay, just let me go look.

204. Well, my man, Fred. Hey, tell you what..

205. Have a seat here, I'm gonna go see if I can

206. borrow that money from our butler.

207. Yeah, that's what I always do.

208. Cocktails!

209. Who the hell are you?

210. Well, my name is Fred Lomax, Jr.

211. And I presume you're Will's butler.

212. So, you can fix me a Rob Roy with a sidecar.

213. Oh, you're one of Will's friends.

214. - Yeah. - Oh. Get out.

215. Man, it is hard to find good help these days.

216. Mr. Lomax, I'm not the butler, but I'll be

217. most happy to show you the door.

218. Well, that's mighty kind of you, big daddy, but, uh

219. I can't go back to that pool hall without that $300.

220. $300?

221. Uncle Phil.

222. I see you've met my earth science teacher.

223. Yeah, that's right.

224. He was not exactly hospitable. So I'm leaving.

225. But if you ever want to see that car again

226. you better come up with that $300.

227. You went to the pool hall and lost the car?

228. Uncle Phil, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

229. Listen, I-I know you told me that I shouldn't go.

230. They hustled me.

231. They're holding the car until I can pay them their money.

232. H-hey, Uncle Phil, I'm really, really—

233. Stupid? I know that, Will.

234. But I'll deal with you later. We gotta get that car back.

235. Uncle Phil, y-you can't go down there by yourself.

236. Y-you can't handle those dudes.

237. They got guys in there make you that look like webster.

238. If there are hooligans there, I should accompany you.

239. In the early eighties, I was sparring butler

240. for Mr. Chuck Norris.

241. Uncle Phil, you sure you know what you're doing?

242. Oh, absolutely. This is strictly a legal matter

243. between me and the management.

244. Oh, you're back. You better have that money, eh.

245. Well!

246. Hello, handsome.

247. Madam, our car has been illegally impounded

248. in this establishment

249. and if it's not returned immediately

250. I will be forced to take serious legal action

251. and have your license revoked.

252. That's where we got you fooled.

253. We ain't got no license.

254. Uncle Phil, I don't think all this

255. legal stuff is going to work.

256. The only legal phrase these people know is

257. "Will the defendant please rise."

258. Will, who's the guy who beat you?

259. That dude right there.

260. Alright, pal. I'm here to get the car.

261. Seems to me there's a small matter of $300, pal.

262. I'm not giving you one cent.

263. Alright. You want to wipe out the debt?

264. You can play for it. $20 a ball.

265. U-Uncle Phil, don't fall for it.

266. That's exactly how they got me.

267. Will, I'm not an idiot.

268. I'm not about to bet on some game

269. I've never played in my entire life.

270. What's the matter, buddy?

271. Aren't you man enough?

272. What did you say to me?

273. Seems to me that you don't want to play because you can't play.

274. Can't play? You put the balls into the hole.

275. How difficult can that be? I've seen it on TV.

276. That's right, all you got to do is

277. put the balls in the hole, just like on TV.

278. I'll tell you what. I'll let you break.

279. Geoffrey, get me one of those stick thingies.

280. At least he's got the terminology down.

281. Sir, do you think this is wise?

282. Oh, don't be ridiculous, Geoffrey. It's simple geometry.

283. Oops.

284. That-that was just a practice shot.

285. Looks like it's my turn.

286. Now you owe me $400.

287. Uncle Phil, can you just pay him and let's go.

288. No. No, no. I think I'm getting a lot better, don't you?

289. - Oh, yeah, much better. - Mm.

290. That's not the way I see it. You still stink.

291. I wouldn't talk.

292. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Uh, let's play another game.

293. I mean, I-I want another chance. Let's play another game.

294. - Uncle Phil! - I don't know.

295. You know my time is very valuable.

296. I couldn't possibly play another game

297. without upping the ante.

298. How much?

299. Let's say a nice, round figure

300. like $100 a ball.

301. $100 a ball?

302. That's right, Uncle Phil.

303. Okay. $100 a ball.

304. Ha ha! You got yourself a game.

305. Geoffrey?

306. Break out Lucille.

307. Six hundred

308. seven hundred

309. eight hundred

310. nine hundred dollars.

311. And 10% for his manager.

312. Oh, you're going to be like that, my brother?

313. After you done had me up in your house.

314. And let this be a lesson to you.

315. Don't mess with my boy again.

316. You mess with him

317. you're messing with me.

318. Yeah!

319. - Hi, Hilary. - Mother, you're back.

320. - How was your trip? - Fine.

321. How was your weekend with the kids?

322. - It went great. - Really?

323. Mother, I've got to tell you, even though I wanted to do this

324. deep down I had a lot of anxiety about taking on

325. this kind of responsibility.

326. But now that I've been through it, I can honestly say

327. I handled it, I prevailed

328. and now I think I'm ready to have children of my own.

329. Oh, that's great, Hilary. So, where are the kids?

330. What, you mean like now?

331. - Mom! - Mommy!

332. Oh, thank God you're home!

333. What's the matter?

334. Hilary was a tyrant all weekend.

335. She was terrible.

336. Next time you go out of town

337. I beg of you, please

338. just put food and water in a dish.

339. Someday you'll have children of your own

340. and then you'll understand.

341. - Baby. - Hi.

342. - How was your lecture? - They loved it.

343. - So, how was your weekend? - Oh, fine.

344. I got a lot of work done.

345. Finished up a little early tonight, so Will and I

346. had a chance to spend some time together.

347. We had fun.

348. You two got along? Huh!

349. It figures you'd choose the weekend I was away.

350. Well, I'm exhausted and I am going to bed.

351. - Goodnight. - Night, Aunt Viv.

352. I'll be up in a minute, sweetheart.

353. How come you didn't tell Aunt Viv what really happened?

354. Because I don't want her to worry about it.

355. It's between you and me.

356. Well, do you think she'll put two and two together

357. when the cops dig my body up?

358. Don't give me any ideas, Will.

359. I just have one question.

360. Why are you so hard-headed?

361. Is that like a rhetorical question?

362. You know, a hard head makes for a soft behind.

363. What, you're going to spank me?

364. You know the severity of what you did tonight.

365. We're going to discuss your punishment tomorrow.

366. - Is that understood? - Yes, sir.

367. Uh, Uncle Phil

368. I just wanted to say thanks for coming down to the

369. pool hall and saving my butt tonight.

370. You know, I ain't seen too many people shoot like that.

371. Uh, where did you learn?

372. Well, let's say I've, uh

373. spent time in a pool hall

374. or two in my life.

375. I know what goes on there.

376. Which is why I don't want you going down there

377. in the first place.

378. You think I want to spoil your fun?

379. I just want you to come home in one piece.

380. - Hey, that's decent. - Mm-hm.

381. Oh, and I also wanna thank you for winning my money back.

382. Your money?

383. I'll play you for it.