1. Are you guys just gonna watch TV all day?
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2. Come on, Ashley, this is for school.
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3. Our spokesmodel winner is Randy!
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4. - Yes!
- I knew she was going to win.
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5. I know you two
haven't had dates in a while...
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6. but how desperate can you get?
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7. I know how desperate I can get.
How about you, Carlton?
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8. Sky's the limit.
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9. I better go lock up my Barbies.
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10. I don't know, Carlton.
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11. It sure has been a long time
since I had a girl.
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12. Tell me about it.
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13. Last Friday, the school nurse
started looking good to me.
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14. Yeah, something about
how them fat ankles...
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15. roll over them squeaky white shoes.
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16. Will you two get ready for dinner?
This girl is going to be here any minute.
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17. Girl?
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18. Kayla Samuels.
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19. She's a scholarship student,
and she has so much potential.
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20. She just needs to be pointed
in the right direction.
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21. - What's she like?
- She's a lovely girl.
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22. Red flag.
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23. Yo, what's up?
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24. Mom's speaking the secret code
of mothers everywhere.
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25. When she says, "lovely girl"
that means "get out the Milk Bones."
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26. Please. I'm just looking out for her.
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27. I want you and Will
to make her feel welcome.
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28. We will.
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29. Besides, she's a darling girl
with a nice personality.
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30. I know that one.
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31. What one?
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32. Nice personality means
she's protected by Greenpeace.
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33. What I meant was,
Kayla's a very interesting girl.
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34. She was a National Merit Scholar,
captain of her math team...
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35. and president of her
high school's French club.
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36. There you have it.
We wouldn't have nothing to talk about.
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37. I'm not that good at math
and I don't speak no French.
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38. Miss Kayla Samuels.
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39. Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?
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40. So, Kayla, I understand
you're from New York?
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41. - That's right.
- I love New York.
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42. Fifth Avenue, the Plaza Hotel,
Trump Tower.
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43. - Where abouts are you from?
- Harlem.
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44. Is it nice?
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45. Kayla was valedictorian of her high school.
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46. Then we have a lot in common.
We're both honor students.
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47. But we have more in common.
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48. We're both attractive human beings
of normal height.
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49. - Dinner is served.
- Thank you, Geoffrey.
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50. So who's that English dude?
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51. Geoffrey? He's down with my posse.
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52. He cuts a nice fade, so I keep him around.
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53. Don't that make you large.
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54. Will, what are you trying to do?
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55. When you grow up,
we'll have to have that little talk.
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56. Don't make me laugh.
You won't reach first base with her.
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57. To borrow a phrase
from your street lingo...
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58. she just hits you with a pretty hard disk.
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59. The word is "diss."
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60. I don't care whether it's diss, dat,
or the other thing.
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61. She goes to college.
She's not a girl, she's a woman.
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62. They don't go out with high school boys.
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63. Look, maybe not out here, but Kayla and l
are both straight out the 'hood.
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64. Where we come from
age don't make no difference.
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65. 17, 21, 33, they're all in the same grade.
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66. I have to say that your Shakespeare class
is my favorite course this semester.
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67. - What's your favorite play so far?
- Henry V.
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68. You know, that's surprising, because
sequels tend to be a little disappointing.
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69. Did you happen to catch Rocky V?
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70. Anyway Henry Vreally deals with
Shakespeare's most interesting themes.
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71. I've always favored Romeo and Juliet...
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72. which is based
on the intellectual superiority...
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73. of servants over those they serve.
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74. My favorite Shakespeare play is King Lear.
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75. The story of a strong, loving father
destroyed by his children.
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76. - Hamlet is my favorite.
- Really? What's your favorite part?
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77. Mother, are you kidding?
Mel Gibson in tights?
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78. Hamlet does have some of Shakespeare's
most compelling poetry.
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79. You know, speaking of poetry...
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80. do you know who is a very serious poet?
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81. The lntelligent Hoodlum.
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82. I just got his tape. It's upstairs.
Dude be dropping science.
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83. I don't think we're covering him
this semester.
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84. You're doing great, Will.
Now bring it home.
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85. You know, I went on a school trip
to see a musical...
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86. based on a Shakespeare play,
Kiss Me, Kate.
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87. That was based on Shakespeare's
Taming of the Shrew.
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88. In our building in West Philly,
we had a wild shrew once.
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89. Just crawling out
from under the kitchen sink.
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90. Yo, dude was, like, this big.
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91. Stole a Smithfield ham
from my Uncle Leroy.
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92. - I don't want to be rude.
- No, go ahead.
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93. I was invited
to my English professor's home.
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94. I was enjoying an interesting discussion
on Shakespeare.
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95. I did not come to discuss Rocky,
rap, and rodents.
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96. if you're doing this for my benefit,
I'm sorry, I think it's very juvenile.
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97. And I'm not in high school.
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98. Worked like a charm, Will.
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99. Philip, have you seen my car keys?
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100. How many times
do we have to go through this?
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101. Let's retrace your steps.
When did you last have them?
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102. - Last night.
- Okay. When last night?
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103. When I said, "Yes, Philip,
you can borrow my car keys."
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104. Daddy, if you're always losing your keys,
you should use my system.
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105. What's that?
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106. I was always losing my car keys...
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107. so I went down to the key store
and had 30 copies made.
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108. That way when I lose a key,
I always have another one.
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109. And next month, I do the same thing.
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110. That's your system?
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111. Absolutely. I did the same thing
with our house key.
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112. You mean, there are copies
of our house key all over Los Angeles?
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113. Don't worry, Daddy.
I put our name and address on all of them.
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114. Come on. We got to find those car keys.
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115. Kayla's coming any minute. I promised her
I'll take her to a poetry reading at USC...
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116. and I don't wanna be late.
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117. No, hold on. Wait.
Kayla's coming over here?
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118. I'm out of here. I don't even want to hear
that girl's name.
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119. - Fine. We don't have to talk about her.
- Good.
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120. You know what my beef with Kayla is?
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121. I thought you didn't want to
talk about Kayla?
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122. There's Kayla.
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123. Great. This is great.
I'm out of here. I'm leaving.
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124. Miss Kayla Samuels.
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125. We'll leave
as soon as we find the car keys.
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126. Maybe we should just drive around town
and look for Hilary's keys.
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127. - Kayla.
- Yes.
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128. I just want to apologize
for my behavior at dinner the other night.
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129. I was kidding around,
and I took it a little too far.
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130. That's okay.
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131. I just have one question.
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132. I hope it's not too personal or anything.
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133. What is it?
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134. Have you always been this stuck-up
or did it take years of practice?
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135. You calling me stuck-up?
You the one that's stuck-up.
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136. - Me?
- That's right, my brother...
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137. walking around fronting like you all that.
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138. Excuse me, Miss Madam.
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139. But you're the one
fronting like you all that...
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140. when in actuality,
you're about that much of that.
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141. You so stuck-up...
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142. your fingers got to make an appointment
to scratch your damn head.
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143. - Your mama.
- What about my mama?
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144. Your mama's so fat,
they showed her a picture of her feet...
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145. and she couldn't identify them.
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146. Okay. You know what?
Your mama's so dumb...
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147. she went to the movies. It said,
"Under 17 not admitted"...
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148. so she went and got 16 of her friends.
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149. I shouldn't be talking about your mama.
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150. I feel sorry for your mama
having such an ugly child.
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151. Say what?
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152. You're so ugly, she tied
a pork chop around your neck...
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153. just so the dog would play with you.
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154. You so ugly...
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155. your mama had to feed
you with a slingshot.
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156. You so ugly,
that ain't a fade on your head...
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157. that's your hair running away
from your face.
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158. You so ugly... This is a good one.
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159. You are so ugly that if you...
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160. Damn, baby. You so fine.
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161. I would kiss you but I just had a chilidog.
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162. Happy two-week anniversary, Olive Oyl.
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163. Thank you, Popeye.
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164. These are really pretty.
You shouldn't have.
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165. Yeah, that's what
my neighbor's gardener said.
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166. Man, look like you been studying
with the hardness.
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167. You ever filled your head with
so much information...
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168. you felt like it was gonna bust?
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169. No.
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170. But I once got up to the third level
of Super Mario Bros...
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171. and, yo, it was hectic up there.
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172. I have a lot more reading to do.
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173. That's cool. Go ahead.
I got some stuff to do anyway.
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174. - Will, I'm studying.
- So am l.
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175. Damn, I'm almost ready for the test.
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176. Come on, honey.
I got a big Shakespeare exam coming up.
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177. All right. Let me help you out.
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178. Okay. All right.
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179. Read me a passage from this book
and I'll try to identify the play.
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180. All right. You can't cheat.
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181. - I'll move back.
- Here we go.
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182. You are never gonna get this one.
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183. "Romeo, Romeo!
Wherefore art thou, Romeo?"
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184. Here we go.
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185. "The weight of this sad time
we must obey...
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186. "Speak what we feel,
not what we ought to say."
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187. That is...
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188. Albany, Act V, Scene lll, King Lear.
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189. Damn, you're good.
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190. Not really.
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191. These children been studying Shakespeare
since the ninth grade.
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192. I'm just catching up.
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193. Come on, baby. Stop tripping.
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194. Look, you the smartest girl I ever known.
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195. When you start using
them million dollar words...
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196. makes my liver quiver.
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197. Thank you, Will. You're the only boy
I've ever been with...
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198. that really appreciates
my being sesquipedalian.
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199. Meow, baby.
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200. Hi, Kayla, hi, Will.
Hope I'm not interrupting anything.
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201. But I probably am...
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202. Anyhow, I just wanted to pick up
my checkbook.
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203. I have to buy a new outfit
for the frat party on Saturday.
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204. - Who's throwing a party?
- The guys of Sigma Sigma Gamma.
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205. There's gonna be a really cool band
and everyone is going to be there.
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206. Come on, baby. That sounds dope.
Let's go.
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207. I don't feel like it.
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208. Okay. Bye.
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209. How come you didn't want to go?
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210. I've been to one of those parties.
It's like being on the moon or something.
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211. I had nobody to talk to...
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212. and I just left after 10 minutes.
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213. That's all right. Here, come on.
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214. We can go to a party at my fraternity.
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215. Your fraternity?
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216. Yeah, Sigma Fly.
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217. That's right, my dear.
I'll be round your place at 8:00.
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218. Wear something daring.
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219. Surprise me.
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220. I'm in a dangerous mood.
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221. I thought we'd light a fire,
put on a Tom Jones album...
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222. and after a cognac or two...
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223. test the waters of adventure.
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224. Did you know, my dear,
I'm an excellent photographer?
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225. I hope you're not camera-shy.
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226. What?
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227. So the draperies will be ready Thursday?
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228. Goodbye.
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229. So, Will, dating an older woman.
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230. I'm so proud of you.
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231. This is just like Cher and that bagel boy.
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232. When you've got a fantastic woman
at your side, you feel like a million bucks.
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233. I've got a splitting headache.
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234. You know, when I have a headache...
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235. Kayla breaks out the baby oil
and gives me a strong back rub.
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236. - Then right after that—
- I don't want to hear about this.
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237. - I'm going to school.
- It doesn't start for an hour.
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238. I know, but sometimes there's
a girls' volleyball game in the gym...
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239. and they wear those little shorts...
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240. That's really pitiful, isn't it?
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241. Miss Kayla Samuels.
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242. - Prince.
- Hola, princesa.
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243. - You look so good.
- Yeah, I know.
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244. - Kayla.
- Hi, Professor Banks.
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245. - You weren't in class yesterday.
- I had cramps.
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246. I'm really sorry. I've been so busy lately.
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247. But I will be there next time.
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248. So, will I see you tonight
at the English department party?
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249. Yes. I'll be there.
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250. Later, baby.
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251. Kayla's been spending
a lot of time with you.
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252. You know, Aunt Viv...
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253. I'm sort of like
a big old bag of Lay's potato chips.
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254. It's like, once you get a taste,
you just can't stop.
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255. You're certainly like
a big old bag of something.
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256. Honey, listen to me.
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257. I just read Kayla's Shakespeare exam.
It's way below her usual work.
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258. I'm gonna have to give her a "D",
and that kills me.
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259. A "D"? Come on. She's real smart.
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260. But she still has to do the work,
which she hasn't been doing lately.
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261. That's just one bad grade.
It ain't the end the world.
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262. When your grades slip, we ground you
and we make sure you get back on track.
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263. if Kayla slips, she loses her scholarship
and she doesn't get another chance.
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264. What do you want me to do?
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265. Let her have some time alone
for her schoolwork.
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266. Yeah. This is great.
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267. I've been here all these months
chasing chicken-headed girls around...
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268. and I finally find a girl that I really like...
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269. and you are telling me
I gotta leave her alone?
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270. I know Kayla's special...
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271. but if you care that much about her,
you have to be responsible.
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272. Do what's best for her.
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273. Maybe being with me is best for her.
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274. I make her happy.
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275. You know she wasn't fitting in
at that place.
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276. I know you wanna make her happy,
but this is about her life.
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277. This might be the difference between
Dr. Kayla Samuels who runs the hospital...
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278. or just Kayla who cleans it.
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279. - You thirsty?
- Yeah.
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280. That's Dr. Kramer.
He's one of my professors.
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281. I believe Chaucer said it best:
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282. "Let every fellow tell his tale about...
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283. "And let's see now
who shall the supper win. "
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284. And I thought
Carlton's come-on lines were funky.
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285. - Hello, Will, Kayla.
- Hi, Professor Banks.
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286. Kayla, don't feel obligated to stay
at this party. It's strictly optional.
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287. So if you have work to do,
it's all right to leave.
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288. Yeah, I know.
I was just taking a little break.
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289. Fine. See you later.
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290. Maybe it ain't such a bad idea
to go back to your room.
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291. I guess this is kind of wack.
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292. We can have a little party in my room...
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293. 'cause I don't have classes till Wednesday.
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294. I was thinking
maybe you should go by yourself.
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295. Excuse me?
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296. We've been seeing each other
every minute.
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297. I thought we just need a little time apart.
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298. Apart?
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299. What are you trying to say?
Did you come to break up with me?
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300. No. Look...
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301. I just think you need more time
to concentrate on your studying.
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302. That is weak.
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303. - You got a "D" on your last exam.
- Did your auntie tell you that?
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304. Did your auntie tell the whole world
I got one bad grade?
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305. Kayla, you have a big opportunity here.
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306. I don't wanna have
no part of you blowing it.
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307. Yes, it's my big opportunity.
That's what everybody keeps telling me.
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308. I do not need to hear it from you.
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309. The answer is "C."
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310. I'm not sure what you're studying...
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311. but I know that with multiple-choice
you can't go wrong with "C."
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312. Come on, Kayla. I know I didn't say
all right things at the party—
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313. What are you trying to say?
You want me to study, I'm studying.
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314. What are you doing here? I just wish
everybody would leave me alone.
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315. Can I come in?
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316. I guess that won't be happening tonight.
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317. Kayla, don't be so angry with Will.
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318. I told him that I didn't think you two
should spend so much time together.
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319. You did what?
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320. You're not my legal guardian.
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321. How would you feel
if someone interfered with your life?
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322. Just face it, Professor...
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323. you fit in here.
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324. I don't.
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325. - I think I should go.
- Will, I want you to stay.
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326. Look, I didn't always fit in.
Let me tell you both—
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327. Let me tell you something.
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328. I got four older sisters,
all of them mamas before they were 18.
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329. None of them finished high school.
Everybody's waiting for Kayla.
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330. I'm the last chance
for the whole damn family...
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331. and you have no idea what that feels like.
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332. I know what that feels like.
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333. I know what it feels like
to clean hotel rooms during the day...
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334. and go to school at night
to get the high school diploma I didn't get.
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335. You dropped out of high school?
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336. It's not something I'm proud of,
but I did it.
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337. My whole family was counting
on me, too...
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338. but I couldn't handle the pressure...
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339. so ran off with some guy and quit school.
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340. By the time I realized I'd made a mistake,
it was too late.
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341. I was left with no education
and nothing I was qualified to do.
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342. It took me years to get back.
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343. if you wonder
why I seem to fit so well here...
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344. it's because I worked damn hard
to get here...
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345. and I know I deserve it.
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346. Your problem is
that you don't know you deserve it.
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347. Will knows it and I know it...
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348. but unless you know it
there is nothing more I can say.
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349. See you at home, Will.
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350. Man...
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351. I didn't know Aunt Viv cleaned
hotel rooms.
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352. Wonder how come
she never cleaned my room.
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353. You all right, babe?
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354. It's scary here.
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355. Come on. You're going to make it.
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356. Look, I'm telling you.
if there's anything I can do...
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357. or not do, I will do...
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358. or not do.
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359. That sounds good.
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360. I got three weeks of goofing off
to make up for...
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361. so I'm gonna hit the books.
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362. Yeah. I'll stay out of your way.
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363. We both have
a new leaf to turn over, huh?
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364. Yeah, you're right.
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365. - I'll call you?
- Okay.
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366. Later, baby.
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367. Later.
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368. Out!
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