1. "And so the men and women
of Plymouth Colony...
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2. "sat at a long table
with their new-found lndian friends...
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3. "to celebrate the first Thanksgiving.
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4. "And at the head of the table,
the leader of the pilgrims...
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5. "folded his hands,
bowed his head and said—"
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6. And then the village idiot
interrupted the prayer...
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7. ruining the feast for one and all.
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8. Boy, holiday traffic is starting already.
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9. People are in such a lousy mood.
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10. I learned five new words on the way home.
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11. - Did you know what they meant?
- I think so.
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12. They were accompanied
by very helpful hand gestures.
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13. Will, I bet you can't wait
till your mom gets here.
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14. Yeah. Thanks for flying her out, Aunt Viv.
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15. We had to convince her to accept it.
She never lets us spend a penny on her.
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16. Apparently, that's not a genetic trait.
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17. Now, for Thanksgiving...
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18. do you want to try something different
or the traditional turkey?
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19. Mother, I have a big problem with turkey.
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20. What's wrong with it?
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21. From the moment they're hatched
to the moment they're shrink-wrapped...
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22. turkeys are raised to be food,
and nothing but food.
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23. Hilary, I don't think too
many of them had aspirations...
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24. to be doctors or lawyers.
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25. My sister should be here any minute.
Aren't you excited?
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26. Yeah, I can't wait till she gets out here
and starts taking her usual shots at me.
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27. Vi's that way with everybody.
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28. Remember what she said about my beard?
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29. You misunderstood.
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30. She said it made me look like Bigfoot.
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31. Which is ridiculous, because nobody
knows what Bigfoot really looks like.
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32. That's her. Come on.
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33. - Mom!
- Baby!
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34. Goodness gracious!
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35. Viv, come on, give us a hug!
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36. Look at my boy. You really have changed.
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37. Yeah, I'm handsome.
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38. No, you haven't changed.
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39. I hope he's not eating you
out of house and home?
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40. Not at all.
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41. He's certainly not taking any food
out of your mouth.
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42. Starting already. I don't believe it.
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43. That's a good one, Mama.
I got to use that one.
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44. No, you don't make fun of your uncle.
That's my job.
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45. Come on, let's go inside.
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46. - Girl, you look wonderful.
- Thank you.
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47. How's everything at the post office?
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48. - They made me a supervisor.
- That's wonderful.
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49. Honey, they make everybody
at the post office a supervisor.
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50. You practically have to eat the mail
not to get promoted.
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51. - Aunt Vi.
- My goodness, aren't you handsome?
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52. And looking less and less
like your daddy every day.
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53. Ouch. Run for cover, Dad.
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54. Where's he going to hide at?
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55. Vi, this is Geoffrey.
Geoffrey, my sister-in-law, Mrs. Smith.
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56. - How do you do?
- I'm fine, thank you.
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57. Mom, check this.
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58. Geoffrey, take my mom's bags
to her room.
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59. What did I do?
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60. You can take those bags yourself.
That man is twice your age.
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61. Even though he doesn't look it.
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62. At least take the heavy one. Now go on.
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63. - But, Mom—
- You heard me.
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64. After you, Master William.
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65. Carlton, go tell your sisters
their aunt is here.
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66. Y'all tell me,
has Will been giving you any trouble?
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67. He's been wonderful, hasn't he, Philip?
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68. Let's just say he takes after you, Vi.
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69. Okay.
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70. Vi, I was dusting the albums this morning
and guess what I found.
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71. Certainly not dust.
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72. The Temptations!
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73. Girl, I have that album.
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74. You had it. I borrowed it.
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75. You taught me to dance to this,
remember?
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76. I didn't teach you to dance like that.
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77. - Move over, girlfriend.
- Look out.
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78. - Aunt Vi!
- My girls!
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79. - You look fantastic.
- Thank you. Come on. Dance with us.
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80. Here we go. All right.
Here you go. That's right.
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81. What dance is this?
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82. It's called the swim, Ashley.
It was very popular in the 1940s.
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83. The 1960s, and it's not the swim.
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84. Your daddy knows how to swim.
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85. Come on. Swim for her. Come on, Philip.
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86. Everybody out of the pool.
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87. That cobbler was delicious.
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88. The person that invented
the elastic waistband...
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89. should get the Nobel Prize.
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90. - You know what I mean—
- Don't start.
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91. Mom, you know who used to make
the best cobbler?
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92. Old lady lvory down the street.
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93. - Does she still make it?
- Honey, she passed on.
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94. - You're kidding.
- Child, she was in her early 100s.
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95. You'd have never known by the way
she used to swing that baseball bat at me.
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96. Can we have a moment of silence?
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97. Yeah, well.
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98. Mom, Dad, I have a little favor.
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99. My English teacher doesn't have anywhere
to go for Thanksgiving tomorrow...
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100. and I just thought, since he's all alone,
and we have so much to share...
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101. could we invite him to dinner?
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102. Certainly, Carlton. That's very thoughtful.
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103. And not the worst way
to pull my grade up to an "A."
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104. This sure was lovely.
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105. - No, Mom, I'll get that for you.
- Thank you, babe.
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106. Geoffrey!
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107. Mom, what did I do?
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108. It's all right, Viola,
Geoffrey clears the table. It's his job.
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109. You shouted, Master William?
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110. Yes, Geoffrey.
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111. Why don't you have a seat and have
some of this delicious peach cobbler...
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112. - while we clear the table.
- Don't go through so much trouble.
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113. No trouble at all.
Hilary, Carlton, Ashley, and you...
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114. Your Highness, let us all clear the table.
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115. That's a good one.
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116. Honey, do I look like I'm telling a joke?
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117. Not to me.
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118. Don't just sit there watching.
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119. Pick up the dishes
and get them into the kitchen.
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120. Now hustle.
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121. Some guest.
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122. What should I do with these bowls?
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123. Just put them in the dishwasher.
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124. Here?
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125. Let's just take them up to Geoffrey's room.
He'll know what to do with them.
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126. Lord, have mercy. Just leave them here.
I'll take care of them.
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127. Now, go on.
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128. Honestly, I've never seen
such a lazy bunch in my life...
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129. and I work at the post office.
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130. - Yo, Jesse!
- How's it going, Will?
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131. Mom, this is my man Jesse.
He does the gardening here.
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132. - How you doing?
- How you doing?
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133. ls your aunt around?
I want to know where to plant the bushes.
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134. I think she said she wanted them
by the pool.
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135. Could you do me a favor?
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136. My mom really likes roses.
Can you snip a couple for her bedroom?
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137. - No problem.
- Wait a second.
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138. Honey, don't go bossing him around.
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139. if you want to cut me some flowers,
you go get them yourself.
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140. - But, Mom—
- Understand?
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141. Okay, I'll cut you
the most beautiful bouquet in the world...
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142. but its beauty will pale
in comparison to yours.
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143. Don't even try that Prince Charming stuff.
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144. Jesse, listen, it's the day before
Thanksgiving. Take the day off.
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145. Thanks.
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146. You going to be around here
for Christmas?
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147. Jesse! Good, I wanted to talk to you
about the bushes.
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148. We can talk about it next week.
Have a happy Thanksgiving.
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149. ls Jesse leaving?
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150. He didn't mow the lawn.
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151. Mom gave him the day off.
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152. What?
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153. It's a holiday. It'll be cool
if the grass grows for another week.
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154. No. It's not growing
'cause you going to cut it.
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155. Why me?
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156. You always mowed the lawn back home.
I don't see why can't you do this one.
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157. 'Cause it's the size of a football field!
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158. Since when do I have to ask you twice?
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159. - But, Mom—
- Now hustle.
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160. Okay, but I ain't going to cut you
no flowers.
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161. You should have talked to me before
letting the gardener take the day off.
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162. It's the day before Thanksgiving.
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163. It was a nice idea,
but it's the same thing...
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164. with telling Geoffrey not to clear the table.
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165. I just think
that they might feel uncomfortable...
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166. taking orders from somebody
they don't know.
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167. And they'd rather take orders
from a 17-year-old boy?
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168. What do you mean?
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169. Honey, I don't mean to be critical...
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170. but I don't like what I saw today.
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171. Will's got a bunch of grown men
doing all the work he should be doing.
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172. I haven't seen him lift a finger
except to scratch his head.
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173. You're not being fair, Vi.
Will works very hard at his homework.
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174. Back home, Will did his homework,
mowed the lawn, raked the leaves...
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175. and cleared the table.
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176. I don't think a little work around the house
is gonna interfere with his education.
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177. From what I see,
all he's learning is how to be a rich kid.
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178. Philip and I just want Will to have
the same advantages that our kids have.
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179. isn't that why you sent him out here?
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180. I sent him out here to stay out of trouble
and get a good education.
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181. But, Vivian, I also taught that boy
the value of hard work...
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182. and I don't want him to lose that.
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183. All I know is the kids in this house
are getting a free ride...
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184. a free ride in a fancy car.
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185. But I don't mean to be critical.
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186. - I'm not interrupting anything, am l?
- No. All done.
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187. Vivian, since Carlton's
invited his teacher...
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188. maybe you should call the caterers and
tell them there'll be one more for dinner.
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189. - Are you okay?
- I'm just fine.
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190. Do you know what my sister just said?
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191. You are not gonna believe this.
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192. - She said that our kids are spoiled.
- News flash.
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193. You mean you agree with her?
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194. I keep saying they should
do more work around the house.
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195. - You're the one who's too easy on them.
- Really? Does this sound familiar?
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196. "Daddy, I need $300."
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197. You don't have to get personal.
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198. Vi just made an honest criticism.
Let's just leave it at that.
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199. You really think
I've been too easy on them.
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200. Honey, we're not going
to solve this overnight.
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201. Look, let's just have
a pleasant Thanksgiving tomorrow...
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202. and we can talk about it
after Vi leaves, okay?
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203. Don't forget to call the caterer.
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204. Hello, Sally? This is Vivian Banks.
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205. You had us scheduled
for a Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow.
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206. We'd like to cancel it.
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207. We're going to have the kids make dinner.
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208. What do you mean, good luck?
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209. Will, Carlton, Hilary, Ashley!
Get down here! Hustle!
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210. - Did you get the turkey?
- Certainly, madam.
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211. Geoffrey, it's frozen solid.
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212. Really, madam?
I thought it was just scared.
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213. Mommy, didn't we just
have a fire drill last week?
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214. - This is not a drill.
- It's a fire?
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215. My God, I'm going back for
my new suede boots. Don't try to stop me.
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216. While you're up there,
get my lucky drawers!
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217. You are going to cook and serve
Thanksgiving dinner.
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218. - How?
- Why?
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219. Because you kids don't do enough work
around the house.
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220. Excuse me?
Didn't I just mow Central Park yesterday?
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221. Mom, my English teacher
is coming to dinner.
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222. He holds my English grade
in the palm of his hand.
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223. This is not the time
for one of your leftist experiments.
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224. Carlton's right, Mom.
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225. This stuff about us working
could really wait.
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226. It has a real
New Year's resolution feel to it.
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227. I do not want to discuss this.
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228. - Since when do I have to ask you twice?
- Every time, Mommy.
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229. Well, not this time.
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230. You've got 15 minutes to get up,
get dressed, and get back down here.
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231. Move it!
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232. lnstead of doing all this work, shouldn't l
be spending some time with my mom?
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233. I mean, she sees me so little...
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234. and I'm growing so fast.
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235. Don't even try that Prince Charming stuff.
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236. Your mother did not send you out here
on vacation.
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237. And so far, you've been getting a free ride,
a free ride in a fancy car.
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238. And if you really want to do
something nice for your mother...
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239. why don't you show her
you can do some work here?
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240. - But, Aunt Viv—
- No discussion.
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241. Do you realize
there's a bump forming back there?
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242. All right, these are your assignments.
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243. I'll do the turkey.
Ashley, you do the cranberry sauce.
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244. Carlton, you do the stuffing.
Hilary, you do the yams and the rolls.
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245. I get two things?
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246. Why don't you just put a yoke
around my neck and hitch me to a plow?
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247. Hilary, I don't think it would be
the worst thing in the world...
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248. if you guys did some work around here.
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249. I mean, you guys are getting a fancy ride,
a fancy ride in a free car.
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250. I'm sorry dinner's so late, Mr. Fellows.
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251. That's okay.
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252. I think in our society,
we're too obsessed with time.
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253. Save time. Don't waste time. Be on time.
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254. What are we in such a hurry to do?
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255. To eat.
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256. Mr. Fellows, Carlton always talks
about your English class.
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257. - He said you were studying Shakespeare.
- This is really exciting.
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258. We're reading Hamlet.
But to make it more relevant to the kids...
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259. I'm teaching it to them in a rap version
I wrote myself.
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260. Oh, Lord.
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261. Peep this.
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262. "To be in effect...
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263. "or not to be in effect?
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264. "Slamming, man, on the questioning tip."
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265. Yeah.
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266. Ladies and gentlemen,
dinner will be served in 10 minutes.
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267. Excuse me.
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268. What are you doing?
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269. It seems that little Mr. Poppin' Fresh
doesn't want to come out of his tube.
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270. Perhaps this will persuade him.
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271. Ashley, how's the cranberry sauce
coming?
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272. - All done.
- Darn it!
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273. - Nice going, Carlton!
- Do you want to try to make this?
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274. This stuffing is completely dry.
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275. Look, do I have to do everything myself?
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276. Carlton, this isn't exactly brain surgery.
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277. When something is too dry,
what do we do?
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278. Cream of mushroom soup.
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279. Pour.
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280. Mix.
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281. Can you do that?
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282. - Hilary, did you check the yams?
- For what?
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283. Oh, my God.
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284. Shall we say grace?
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285. Dear Lord, for this food
we are about to receive...
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286. make us truly thankful.
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287. Amen.
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288. Let's start by serving our guest of honor.
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289. - Mr. Fellows, care for some yams?
- I'd love some.
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290. Interesting. I've never had them before
with this thick black crust.
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291. It's Cajun style.
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292. Hilary burned them.
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293. They're just burned on top.
Once you get underneath it...
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294. they're totally charred.
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295. How did you do that?
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296. Mom, give Hilary a break.
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297. I think she deserves some credit
for putting out the fire.
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298. Fire?
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299. What else do we have?
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300. That looks like cranberry sauce,
Mr. Fellows.
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301. - Lay it on me.
- Allow me.
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302. - It looks wonderful. Who made it?
- I did, Mommy.
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303. It's delicious.
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304. Yeah, you'd never know
Ashley dropped it on the floor.
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305. What about the stuffing?
Where's that been?
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306. That's dope. Give it a try, Mr. Fellows.
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307. Yeah.
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308. Sure.
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309. I made it, Mr. Fellows.
I'm sure you'll find it of grade "A" quality.
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310. - Speaking of A's...
- Yes?
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311. Will is gonna get an "A"
in my English class.
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312. Congratulations, baby.
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313. Do you have any news for my parents?
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314. Not really.
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315. So, how about that stuffing?
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316. Serve yourself.
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317. It looks... Looks great. Shall I pass it on?
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318. No!
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319. You can have all of that.
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320. That's a good idea. Save lots of room.
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321. Because we have a turkey
roasted to perfection by yours truly.
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322. - Would you do the honors, Uncle Phil?
- Why, certainly.
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323. It's frozen inside.
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324. I'm sorry. I thawed it as much I could.
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325. What am I supposed to do,
sit on it all day?
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326. Come on, Vi.
The kids worked very hard on this.
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327. Honey, "hard" is the word.
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328. Let's see what food
we can throw together.
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329. I know, 'cause Bigfoot is growling.
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330. Honestly, that dinner was a disaster!
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331. That's not true. Mr. Fellows is out there
drinking his second cup of stuffing.
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332. This is certainly one for the books.
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333. You know, Vi,
you really hurt my feelings yesterday.
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334. What are you talking about?
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335. When you said
I was spoiling Will and my kids.
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336. I'm just trying to give them the things
that we didn't have.
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337. First of all,
I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.
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338. Seems to me, when we were growing up...
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339. I'd say a lot worse to you
and you'd take it.
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340. I don't know, I think living in California
has made you sensitive.
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341. I don't think I'm being sensitive, Vi.
You basically called me a bad mother.
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342. Baby, look...
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343. I don't think you're a bad mother.
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344. I never would've sent Will out here
if I thought you were.
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345. I don't blame you for wanting to give
those kids everything we didn't have.
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346. But you got to teach them
how to work hard, too.
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347. That's what I taught you.
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348. You turned out pretty good.
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349. I got to admit it, Vi,
Philip says I'm too easy on them.
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350. I guess they should have
some more responsibilities.
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351. It wouldn't kill them.
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352. Food!
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353. I wouldn't be taking my time in here.
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354. - I'm on my way.
- Here you go.
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355. Ma, can I help you in here?
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356. No, not from what I saw today. Please.
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357. You got to learn how to cook
before you go to college.
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358. Yeah, Aunt Viv can teach me.
She's a great cook.
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359. She should be. I taught her.
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360. And your mama didn't raise no fools.
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361. So, you got an "A" in English?
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362. Yeah.
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363. They think I'm a genius.
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364. You just keep working hard, genius.
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365. When I leave here...
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366. I want you to listen to
your Aunt Viv, okay?
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367. Yes, ma'am.
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368. I have to say...
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369. you guys did a terrible job
with dinner tonight.
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370. I wish I could've seen you cooking it.
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371. Mom, you definitely would've been crying,
straight up.
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372. You make me laugh just thinking about it.
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373. But you always did make me laugh.
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374. I miss that.
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375. I miss it, too.
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