1. Now allow your mind and bodyCopy !req
2. to be still as we take
a purifying breath in...Copy !req
3. and out.Copy !req
4. And again, calming breath in,
releasing out.Copy !req
5. One more breath in and out.Copy !req
6. - Allow any tensions in your body to—
- What?Copy !req
7. Dan, the new producer
just called an emergency meeting.Copy !req
8. Emergency meeting is in 25 minutes.Copy !req
9. Great! Fuck! Terrible, bye.Copy !req
10. to gently float away
as we go again, in and out.Copy !req
11. Can you feel the tension
just melting away...Copy !req
12. Fu—Copy !req
13. God, these scripts are heavy.
Probably because they're so great.Copy !req
14. Emergency, all-hands.
I hope it's not a firing squad.Copy !req
15. - Are you worried it's a firing squad?
- Literally never crossed my mind.Copy !req
16. Smart. Don't overthink it.Copy !req
17. Like the script.
If anything, underthink it.Copy !req
18. I've seen it a million times, Dag.Copy !req
19. Speed up, spend less, yada.
It's just the biz.Copy !req
20. The biz. Like short for business.Copy !req
21. Did you coin that?
I've literally never heard that before.Copy !req
22. Pre-dawn emergency meeting?Copy !req
23. Am I to be stripped and flogged
in front of my fucking props department?Copy !req
24. And if it's a spanking,
in a breakout room, please.Copy !req
25. - Breakout spanking.
- Look, Eric, this is good.Copy !req
26. It shows she's invested in the movie,
in your vision.Copy !req
27. Meeting's canceled.
New producer just canceled it.Copy !req
28. Sorry, what?Copy !req
29. Mind games. Bravo.Copy !req
30. - What is happening, Daniel?
- Guys, it's called ghosting.Copy !req
31. Game recognize game?Copy !req
32. All right, listen up.Copy !req
33. Do not panic.Copy !req
34. It's a stunt day, big technical day,Copy !req
35. and we're gonna execute this
and show her how good we are.Copy !req
36. We're craftspeople,
our director's a visionary.Copy !req
37. Forward cinema.Copy !req
38. Thank you.Copy !req
39. - Should we be clapping?
- Stephanie, bring my buggy around.Copy !req
40. And arrange me a rapid response haircut.
This is serious.Copy !req
41. Dan, would now be a good time
to talk about career progressions?Copy !req
42. Everything's exploding
at a million miles an hour,Copy !req
43. and the movie is a scrotum
resting on a razor's edge.Copy !req
44. Got it. So, maybe, like, in an hour?Copy !req
45. - Daniel. Hey, what's happening?
- It's all good, mate. It's all good.Copy !req
46. Great, mate. Hey, what's happening?Copy !req
47. Yeah, no, it's all great.
We're just forwards.Copy !req
48. Yeah, but what is happening?
Like literally, what is happening?Copy !req
49. - New producer, are we being X-rayed?
- Absolutely not.Copy !req
50. Because X-ray shows up something weird,Copy !req
51. you cut out the tumor,
and you replace it with Kit Harington.Copy !req
52. - Or one of the Skarsgårds.
- Which one?Copy !req
53. - I don't mind.
- Adam, mate, this is not about you.Copy !req
54. It has nothing to do with my body shape?Copy !req
55. I know I Dorito-ed myself.Copy !req
56. Dorito-ed myself, bigger on top,
tapering down to a skinnier leg.Copy !req
57. But please tell our new producer
that I am prioritizing squats and lunges.Copy !req
58. - Dude, the studio loves your legs.
- Oh, high fives for that guy's thighs.Copy !req
59. Great, 'cause don't believe everything
you read online, especially WikiLegs.Copy !req
60. - Do not look up that site.
- Morning, cunts.Copy !req
61. - Hello!
- Headlamps on,Copy !req
62. ready for another day down the gold mine.Copy !req
63. Yes, Peter. All right, let's go. Okay.Copy !req
64. Poor pathetic little prick,
holding it together, but he knows.Copy !req
65. New producer airdrops in.
He's auditioning for his job. You all are.Copy !req
66. But obviously not me. I'm just number two.Copy !req
67. Call sheet and my mother agree.Copy !req
68. I'm second best.
See you out there, number one.Copy !req
69. Just so you're hearing it
so that you've heard it,Copy !req
70. new producer is canceling
80 of our Moss Men for today.Copy !req
71. - Mind games part two. Boom.
- Okay, she's sending a message.Copy !req
72. How much can we take before we squeal?
Scrooge McFuck.Copy !req
73. So how many extras do we have
for the big crowd shot now?Copy !req
74. Five.Copy !req
75. Eric's not gonna like that.Copy !req
76. I'm not gonna like that.
I don't like that.Copy !req
77. Great. I'll let the trades know.Copy !req
78. Rude.Copy !req
79. Stunt day! All eyeballs on me.
Will he make it? Will he cave?Copy !req
80. Will an actual man die? Yes, no, and no.Copy !req
81. Everyone's freaking out, Dag.
Watch as I neutralize the mass panic.Copy !req
82. Xanax Man!Copy !req
83. I'm being asked to remind you,
Peter's spine.Copy !req
84. He's only good for three launches, contractually.Copy !req
85. Okay, three goes!
Peter's spine is good for three goes!Copy !req
86. - Peter's spinal X-rays, if that helps.
- It doesn't.Copy !req
87. Back in your box,
please, Bryson. Eric, sir!Copy !req
88. Loving the haircut.
A sharp cut for a sharp mind.Copy !req
89. Daniel, I stayed up till 5:00 a.m.,Copy !req
90. redrawing storyboards
for the Jackhammer escape.Copy !req
91. Eric, don't panic.
We're going to hold the course.Copy !req
92. Oh, my God, that's amazing.Copy !req
93. "A crowd of Moss People
stretched to the horizon."Copy !req
94. Daniel... I have five.Copy !req
95. - And it's bullshit.
- I'll make it work, okay?Copy !req
96. I'm going to make a crowd of five
look like 5,000.Copy !req
97. Loaves and fishes, but for people.Copy !req
98. - Loaves and people.
- Very nice!Copy !req
99. "The director's cut."Copy !req
100. It's funnier every time.
Thank you, Stephanie.Copy !req
101. Hello. Number two
checking in for business.Copy !req
102. So, how are you up on the wires,
number one?Copy !req
103. Wonderful. Thank you, Peter.Copy !req
104. Because one can look flaccid
if one's not careful,Copy !req
105. bobbing around like astronaut cock.Copy !req
106. Well, my movement coach
is from Zagreb's foremost ballet, so...Copy !req
107. How many ballets do they have?Copy !req
108. Ready?Copy !req
109. Question on Mollusk Man, it's five minutes
each time he needs the bathroom.Copy !req
110. So, we could fit him with a bag
or we do the diaper.Copy !req
111. - Diaper?
- Nappy. The adult nappy.Copy !req
112. We've checked and they do come
in his size from Belgium.Copy !req
113. - Big, big diaper.
- Sounds like my kind of diaper.Copy !req
114. Less comfortable, and it will limit
his range of movement,Copy !req
115. especially when sodden.
Plus, only a $300 saving.Copy !req
116. Well, less pleasant for all involved,
the diaper, no?Copy !req
117. It's a saving in terms of playing ball.Copy !req
118. Shows we're not afraid
to make the tough decisions.Copy !req
119. For labor reasons,Copy !req
120. Shane can't know about the diaper,
but off the record...Copy !req
121. - Okay, let's have him diapered.
- Happy to nappy.Copy !req
122. "I'm ready for my diaper, Mr. DeMille."Copy !req
123. Very good.Copy !req
124. - Okay, stunt rehearsal?
- Yeah.Copy !req
125. Stunt rehearsal, everyone on their A-game!Copy !req
126. Remember, we are top-drawer professionals,Copy !req
127. - thank you!
- Let's do it!Copy !req
128. - Eric, sir.
- Okay. And so...Copy !req
129. "The Jackhammer Escape." Moss Men swarm.Copy !req
130. Tecto produces his Invisible Jackhammer
and both of you blast off to freedom.Copy !req
131. Running in the Invisible Jackhammer.Copy !req
132. Two words, no words. Third word, wow.Copy !req
133. Great.Copy !req
134. My God, I am so blessed!Copy !req
135. Front row seats
for the Invisible Jackhammer.Copy !req
136. Standing here, watching you jacking off.Copy !req
137. Yeah. Do you have the concept art?Copy !req
138. Absolutely.Copy !req
139. Great, and how invisible is this thing?Copy !req
140. It's totally invisible.
Obviously, you will see it.Copy !req
141. Okay, I got it. I'm sorry, I don't got it.Copy !req
142. It's like an air wobble.Copy !req
143. It would be nothing, but solid, yes?Copy !req
144. - Okay, no, no.
- It's...Copy !req
145. the outline... like glass.Copy !req
146. Yes, but is glass invisible?Copy !req
147. My dog once walked into a patio door,
if that helps.Copy !req
148. - Is it okay?
- Quiet, please.Copy !req
149. Number one is
pretending to be on a drill...Copy !req
150. - which is invisible.
- Hey, props!Copy !req
151. Props, can I have my Tecto Sonic Blockers?Copy !req
152. - Locating Sonic Blockers.
- Locating Sonic Blockers!Copy !req
153. Are you sure about this?
The Invisible Jackhammer?Copy !req
154. I thought it would look cool,
but it doesn't.Copy !req
155. Well, that's invaluable input,
Mr. Spielberg. Thank you.Copy !req
156. - Running in Sonic Blockers.
- Thanks.Copy !req
157. - I'm going to say something. Excuse me?
- I will genuinely incapacitate you.Copy !req
158. Yeah.Copy !req
159. - The hair.
- Just need a second with it, but—Copy !req
160. - Yeah, the hair.
- Hair!Copy !req
161. - Fix the hair.
- Hair. Fix the hair.Copy !req
162. Fixing the hair.Copy !req
163. If they're doing something wrong,
surely we have to say.Copy !req
164. No. Dag, we don't have an opinion, okay?Copy !req
165. We just keep the trains running.
Who cares what's on them?Copy !req
166. - Potatoes, Christmas presents.
- Dissidents, trafficked children.Copy !req
167. That's not what it is though, is it?
Ours is not to reason why, Dag.Copy !req
168. Can I at least have some headphones
so that I can hear?Copy !req
169. - Headphones? Are you for fucking real?
- Still fixing the hair.Copy !req
170. I didn't get my first pair of headphones
for six years!Copy !req
171. - Okay.
- You see Mike, the gaffer?Copy !req
172. He worked on Raiders of the Lost Ark.Copy !req
173. Hasn't heard a single word
of dialogue his entire career.Copy !req
174. Well, that's sad.Copy !req
175. - Poor Mike.
- Yeah, well,Copy !req
176. it's heartbreaking, but it's the biz.Copy !req
177. - The hair is fixed.
- Hair's fixed.Copy !req
178. Okay, stunt rehearsal!Copy !req
179. "Surrounded on all sides,Copy !req
180. Tecto activates his Invisible Jackhammer,
drilling down into the earth."Copy !req
181. "Tecto grabs Eye,Copy !req
182. and the force shoots them
into the air like a rocket."Copy !req
183. - Cue Moss Men! And... action stunt!
- It's hammer time!Copy !req
184. Warp speed, baby!Copy !req
185. - What are you doing?
- No one called "cut."Copy !req
186. Not for me to say,
but shouldn't that be faster?Copy !req
187. - Shane is expecting warp speed.
- Okay, cut!Copy !req
188. The winch has to roll itself out,
15 meters to go.Copy !req
189. I've been in motorized bath chairs
faster than this.Copy !req
190. Eric? Hey, Eric, any notes for me?Copy !req
191. So, I've been talking to Chris.Copy !req
192. Did I tell you
that I've been talking to Chris?Copy !req
193. Couple of times, yeah, yeah.Copy !req
194. It's very cool
how you're friends with him now.Copy !req
195. He writes me
these beautiful letters. Longhand.Copy !req
196. Chris. Always Chris. Never Christopher.Copy !req
197. - Chris Nolan.
- Wow, that's great... for you.Copy !req
198. So great. Anyway...Copy !req
199. Yeah, well, my point is...Copy !req
200. how would Chris make sense
of the Invisible Jackhammer?Copy !req
201. So, yes, I want this. This here.Copy !req
202. Talk to our new producer,Copy !req
203. get me my 80 extras,
or I will not shoot, yeah?Copy !req
204. So tough, isn't it? The biz.Copy !req
205. Dag, I'm gonna get this stunt
if it kills meCopy !req
206. and everyone involved in this production.Copy !req
207. - Dan, I've got Health and Safety for you.
- Welcome. Thank you, Health and Safety.Copy !req
208. Onwards, with caution!Copy !req
209. - Adam's gone back to his trailer.
- 'Course he has. Send in Xanax Man.Copy !req
210. - Adam, sir!
- Hey.Copy !req
211. - We need you back on set, mate.
- What's up? Just give us...Copy !req
212. - a second.
- Yeah.Copy !req
213. Will you just be straight with me?Copy !req
214. Do you buy me as a guy
who can make earthquakes happen?Copy !req
215. Earthquakes, yes. Absolutely.Copy !req
216. Absolutely, 100%, okay?Copy !req
217. All right?Copy !req
218. We done? Cool.Copy !req
219. It's just so wild, you know.
I gave up my dog to be here.Copy !req
220. - Like a top-of-the-line dog.
- Oh, really? Top-of-the-line?Copy !req
221. Yeah. I just— Okay.Copy !req
222. I need you to be real with me.
Like, as a friend.Copy !req
223. - One of my closest friends, actually.
- Oh, Adam, I'm flattered.Copy !req
224. What do you think?
Like, really, really thinkCopy !req
225. about the Invisible Jackhammer?Copy !req
226. Honestly, I thinkCopy !req
227. the Invisible Jackhammer
is fucking badass.Copy !req
228. I'm not gonna look like an assholeCopy !req
229. - up there?
- No, look.Copy !req
230. I feel fucking excellent. Okay?Copy !req
231. Anyone can do fucking... Ibsen.Copy !req
232. When you're flying through the air
on a jackhammer made of sound waves,Copy !req
233. - you look awesome.
- Really?Copy !req
234. You look brilliant. You're a genius.Copy !req
235. In my opinion, the greatest actor
who ever lived.Copy !req
236. No, I'm not. Like—Copy !req
237. Don't make me repeat myself
because I won't.Copy !req
238. It's just Peter. He's fucking with me.
He's fucking with my head.Copy !req
239. It's like he's trying to undermine me
in front of the new producer.Copy !req
240. He's like— Maybe the call sheet thing,Copy !req
241. or 'cause I'm number one
and he doesn't like it?Copy !req
242. You know, he's making faces,
unscripted faces, and like—Copy !req
243. - Okay, I'm gonna talk to him. I will.
- You know—Copy !req
244. - Thank you. Thank you.
- Yeah.Copy !req
245. You're so good at your job.Copy !req
246. You know, I might have lost a dog,
but I think I gained one too.Copy !req
247. - Oh, me? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Woof, woof.
- Yeah.Copy !req
248. Yeah. All right.Copy !req
249. Daniel the Spaniel!Copy !req
250. Thanks.Copy !req
251. Oh, don't mind me,
I'm just poking through your stuff,Copy !req
252. if that's cool.Copy !req
253. Movies, movies, movies.Copy !req
254. Someone's a movie buff. Shrink Rap?Copy !req
255. Yeah. Well, one day when all this is done,
maybe I'll get to listen to the...Copy !req
256. director's commentary on Eraserhead.Copy !req
257. My God, dare to dream.Copy !req
258. Okay, I've got a question for you.Copy !req
259. Have you ever thought,
"Am I killing cinema?"Copy !req
260. Genuinely never thought about it.Copy !req
261. Because the Invisible Jackhammer
got me thinking, what if you are?Copy !req
262. What if this isn't a dream factory?
What if it's an abattoir, you know?Copy !req
263. And we've all got blood on our hands
and fatty tissue on our faces,Copy !req
264. and we're sat here, you know,
eating sandwiches?Copy !req
265. Dag, can you just stop talking?Copy !req
266. Peck, peck, pecking away
like a fucking question chicken, okay?Copy !req
267. I'm happy to share
my valuable industry insightsCopy !req
268. and years of accumulated wisdom,
but I just—Copy !req
269. Sorry for shouting.
I just need to figure outCopy !req
270. how I'm going to execute this stunt
before I lose my job!Copy !req
271. Sorry. Thank you, I'm sorry.Copy !req
272. I filled up your water bottle.Copy !req
273. Well, that's really nice.Copy !req
274. - And you've made me look like a prick.
- Sorry.Copy !req
275. Look, you seem really smart.
You're here now.Copy !req
276. We're gonna be working together.
That's great.Copy !req
277. I just need you
to use your initiative, yeah?Copy !req
278. Anita's got everyone panicked.
Like dogs in a washing machine.Copy !req
279. Crazy idea.
Why don't you go and talk to her?Copy !req
280. - Bit of fun.
- Yeah, that was Jim, third AD before you.Copy !req
281. He threw that up there
before he killed himself.Copy !req
282. You know what? Fuck it.Copy !req
283. Enter.Copy !req
284. Dan, hi! Good to see you.Copy !req
285. - Eric wants his Moss—
- I'm so sorry about this morning.Copy !req
286. The emergency meeting, the no-show.
Hope it didn't bump.Copy !req
287. Nah, nah. Barely noticed really.Copy !req
288. - Cool beans.
- Great.Copy !req
289. And I just wanted to make sureCopy !req
290. - things aren't gonna be weird between us.
- Anita, why would they be weird?Copy !req
291. Because we were fucking
pretty successfullyCopy !req
292. for about six months,
and then I started fuckingCopy !req
293. a very famous Australian actor
behind your backCopy !req
294. and now I'm your boss?Copy !req
295. I mean, I don't even think
about that stuff anymore.Copy !req
296. Phew! What a reliefCopy !req
297. because I may need to ream you out
in front of everyone.Copy !req
298. Well, you can't shout at the director,
so hit this bitch, right?Copy !req
299. - Yeah, a hanging in the town square.
- A hanging. A hanging?Copy !req
300. A beating, a flogging, a...Copy !req
301. - forensic crucifixion.
- Could we settle on a metaphor?Copy !req
302. It serves two purposes.
One, spreads fear. Yum.Copy !req
303. - Two, it buries the lede about you and me.
- Okay, sure.Copy !req
304. Because it would be very bad
if people knew we were...Copy !req
305. Yeah, it's all right. You can burn me.Copy !req
306. I'm a human sacrifice.
I'm the Wicker Man! Wicker Dan!Copy !req
307. Is that shitty? Is that bad friending?Copy !req
308. Okay, look.Copy !req
309. I need something in return.Copy !req
310. Spread your fear,
but I need to sprinkle some hope.Copy !req
311. Eric is demanding his Moss Men back.Copy !req
312. Can't do it, Daniel.
Need to show strength.Copy !req
313. But I will grab you for the hanging.
Yeah? Cool beans?Copy !req
314. Yes. The coolest of beans.Copy !req
315. Very fucking uncool beans, Dag.
I'm about to get hung out to dry.Copy !req
316. Peter, sir? Do me a favor.Copy !req
317. Can you go easy on Adam?Copy !req
318. Oh, my God!
Have I done something to upset him?Copy !req
319. Christ, what a mess!Copy !req
320. If there's anything I can do
in terms of the call sheet?Copy !req
321. Call sheet? Please.Copy !req
322. Not on my account.
I'm very low maintenance.Copy !req
323. Now get that through
your thick fucking skull, Daniel!Copy !req
324. Dan, new producer is askingCopy !req
325. if this could be a good time
to tear you a new one?Copy !req
326. Could she maybe not
in front of the crewmen?Copy !req
327. Because they once saw me
applying hand lotion,Copy !req
328. and it didn't end well.Copy !req
329. - Okay, where's my first AD?
- Happening anyway.Copy !req
330. Hi, Daniel, nice to meet you.Copy !req
331. Can I just ask,
why the fuck aren't we rolling?Copy !req
332. Oh, Eric! Maestro, come on over!Copy !req
333. I'm just trying to figure out
why your first AD hereCopy !req
334. is not taking care of you.Copy !req
335. Please go ahead.Copy !req
336. So, your director is talking to the actors
for 52 minutes on average before take one.Copy !req
337. - Yes, I am.
- No disrespect to Eric, who we love,Copy !req
338. - but you should not be allowing him...
- Yeah.Copy !req
339. to do that much talking.Copy !req
340. - I need boundaries, Daniel.
- Boundaries so he can knock them down.Copy !req
341. - Thank you, Steph.
- If this is a pile-on,Copy !req
342. - I should dial Shane.
- Eleven setups per day,Copy !req
343. which he will ask for,
because he's a visionary.Copy !req
344. - No, please.
- I'm sorry,Copy !req
345. but what the fuck are you thinking?Copy !req
346. - Shane, hi. Shellacking the first AD.
- You need to start running things, Daniel.Copy !req
347. It can feel
a little sloppy here sometimes.Copy !req
348. It does sound like a lot of setups
when you hear it out loud.Copy !req
349. - Yeah, cheers, Dag.
- What the fuck are you doing?Copy !req
350. Pat, sir?
We're apportioning blame over here.Copy !req
351. - Oh, no, now the angry man's coming.
- Dinner and a show, don't mind if I do.Copy !req
352. You fucked up, son,
and now you gotta eat it!Copy !req
353. You need to be riding this man
like a stallion.Copy !req
354. - Like a stallion.
- Ride him like a stallion.Copy !req
355. But ride gently, okay?
And when you beat him, carrot, not stick.Copy !req
356. Hey, this isn't a witch hunt.Copy !req
357. Well, I want to know
why it's not a witch hunt,Copy !req
358. - and who can we blame?
- Funny.Copy !req
359. But hey, big stunt today.
Excited to see what you got.Copy !req
360. - Right, Pat?
- That's right.Copy !req
361. Yeah. Tick-tock. Clock is ticking.Copy !req
362. Yes, sir. Daniel Kumar, first AD.
Possible subject of a witch hunt.Copy !req
363. K-U-M-A-R.Copy !req
364. So sorry for weighing in.
It was just a very infectious energy.Copy !req
365. Well, I'm glad you had fun.Copy !req
366. Now I just have to execute
with everyone watching meCopy !req
367. or I could lose my job,
or someone might die.Copy !req
368. Okay, folks, game faces!
Positions, positions, positions!Copy !req
369. - Keep saying positions. Show me.
- Positions, positions...Copy !req
370. - Heels up in three, two, one.
- ... positions,Copy !req
371. - positions, positions!
- Go!Copy !req
372. No. Shit. That has to work, okay?
Two goes.Copy !req
373. Peter's spine can only do two more goes.Copy !req
374. Sam. Do me a favor.
Peter's feeling quite frisky.Copy !req
375. Let's keep him on a tight leash.
Thank you.Copy !req
376. Daniel, I found Jamie VFX.Copy !req
377. Jamie, pixel wizard,
how are you holding up?Copy !req
378. I'm in the tunnel.Copy !req
379. My wife said it's like I've been dead
for three months.Copy !req
380. - Yeah, listen? Can we VFX 80 Moss Men?
- Insanely expensive, it'll look shit,Copy !req
381. and the additional workload
might actually kill me.Copy !req
382. But you could actually do it?Copy !req
383. - I mean—
- Yes! Thank you, Jamie.Copy !req
384. - This way, Jamie.
- Good to see you.Copy !req
385. Eric, VFX can tile your Moss Men,
you'll get your crowd, pinky promise,Copy !req
386. - can we just shoot?
- Positions, positions.Copy !req
387. - Okay
- Okay. Thank you! Positions, positions!Copy !req
388. We're almost ready, folks.
We're almost ready.Copy !req
389. You go telling tales,
and so I'm now the fucking petty one.Copy !req
390. Why are you jerking me back?
What are you doing?Copy !req
391. Just gonna go ten-one.
Quick bathroom break.Copy !req
392. Mollusk Man going ten-one
behind a rock.Copy !req
393. Had a large coffee, rookie error.Copy !req
394. No, that's working. Oh, fabulous.Copy !req
395. That has completely absorbed.Copy !req
396. Headphones. Who wants headphones?
I know I do.Copy !req
397. - Thanks.
- Lovely. Lovely.Copy !req
398. - Dag, what the fuck are you doing?
- I'm using my initiative.Copy !req
399. Maybe if we can all hear,
we'll all be better at our jobs.Copy !req
400. Okay. None of these people
can have headphones, okay?Copy !req
401. It looks like I'm not in control
of my fucking set.Copy !req
402. Sorry, folks. Dan said no headphones.Copy !req
403. I think maybe
they're a symbol of authority.Copy !req
404. - Sorry, Mike.
- Sorry, Mike. Not the bad guy.Copy !req
405. Positions! Can we just roll?Copy !req
406. - Hey, Dan. Ready? Excited to see.
- Excited to see you seeing.Copy !req
407. - Be quiet out there!
- Sound speed.Copy !req
408. And action.Copy !req
409. One second, Eric, I—
One second, I gotta sneeze!Copy !req
410. Okay, it's gone.Copy !req
411. Okay, I'm ready.Copy !req
412. - Running it.
- We're running.Copy !req
413. Okay, starting the clock.Copy !req
414. Invisible. Jacking it.Copy !req
415. There. Got it. Got it.Copy !req
416. Okay, and...Copy !req
417. action!Copy !req
418. Cue Moss Men!Copy !req
419. It's hammer time!Copy !req
420. Oh, shit. Sneezed.Copy !req
421. - Sorry, sorry!
- And cut.Copy !req
422. - Fucking allergies. Fucking allergies.
- Cut there, thank you.Copy !req
423. Lock it.Copy !req
424. Eric, can we use any of that?
Can we use any of that?Copy !req
425. No, Adam. Your face was sneezy
and unusable.Copy !req
426. Poor number one. Gosh!
Maybe he's allergic to acting.Copy !req
427. Letting Shane know
we still don't have the stunt.Copy !req
428. - Okay.
- Thank you.Copy !req
429. Thank you.Copy !req
430. Not a good look, Dan.
Maybe I should ream you out again?Copy !req
431. Anita, look, if I could speak freely?Copy !req
432. - Friend level?
- Yeah.Copy !req
433. If you want to turn this movie around,
stop shouting. Focus on the creative.Copy !req
434. The studio has lost its way.Copy !req
435. These movies are not hitting
the way they used to.Copy !req
436. And I need your help.Copy !req
437. Yeah, well,
Shane's pulled in all directions,Copy !req
438. like an octopus at a square dance.Copy !req
439. Exactly. The Invisible Jackhammer
is the perfect example.Copy !req
440. I hated it in the comics.
I hated it in the cartoons.Copy !req
441. - It's totally ludicrous.
- What is it even made of?Copy !req
442. Oh, we've got a science advisor from MIT,Copy !req
443. but we broke his spirit
and now he just nods everything through.Copy !req
444. If Shane had the headspace,
if he was on it,Copy !req
445. if he was here,
he'd say this is fucking dumbCopy !req
446. and we should cut it.
Lose it from the movie.Copy !req
447. He needs boots on the ground. He needs us.Copy !req
448. I can call him. Direct report.
I can talk to Shane whenever I want.Copy !req
449. Yes, that would be amazing.Copy !req
450. - Just yank the emergency cord.
- Yank that fucking puppy.Copy !req
451. - Save the movie.
- Save the day.Copy !req
452. Save the universe.Copy !req
453. We should loop in Eric though.Copy !req
454. - Eric?
- Eric.Copy !req
455. - Oh, Eric— Director Eric. Yes.
- Yeah.Copy !req
456. Eric!Copy !req
457. Fuck the Jackhammer.
It was an albatross from the start.Copy !req
458. A giant invisible sea bird.Copy !req
459. It is not now,
nor shall it ever be, hammer time.Copy !req
460. Hey, Anita. Heard you were hoping
to connect with Shane.Copy !req
461. Thank you, Bryson.
I'd like to speak with him direct.Copy !req
462. Okay.Copy !req
463. Hey, Shane. Shane?Copy !req
464. Hello, Anita. This is Bryson.Copy !req
465. Shane is not available,
but Pat would like to see you on C stage.Copy !req
466. Thank you, of course, that'd be a delight.Copy !req
467. Okay, signal me
if you need backup. I'm here.Copy !req
468. Pat.Copy !req
469. New sound stages for Centurios 2,
our summer tentpole,Copy !req
470. and we have an infestation
of fucking pigeons!Copy !req
471. Lasers. Just to scare them.Copy !req
472. We can't laser the birds in half,
nor do we wish to.Copy !req
473. Three o'clock, fire.Copy !req
474. - Pat. Pat, here.
- What?Copy !req
475. Do you think I might be able
to talk to Shane direct?Copy !req
476. It's about the Invisible Jackhammer.Copy !req
477. Shane's just made
the incredibly painful decisionCopy !req
478. - to mothball The Sister Squad.
- Production was in chaos.Copy !req
479. Writers were being hired
to do pre-writes on rewritesCopy !req
480. - that hadn't even come in yet.
- It's canned? The whole movie?Copy !req
481. It's like when you have a beautiful dog,Copy !req
482. but you have to smash its head in
with a hammer due to...Copy !req
483. - Circumstances?
- Exactly, circumstances.Copy !req
484. Strategic pivot from way, way upstairs.
Fewer releases.Copy !req
485. Seems we gave the fans too much content,
they choked on it.Copy !req
486. Hey, Todd, let's aim for the eyes.
We really need to send a message here.Copy !req
487. But I'm okay, right?
I mean, you know, in terms of my position?Copy !req
488. Well, Anita, you should probably know,Copy !req
489. Shane's never been 100%
on Tecto, you know.Copy !req
490. Excuse me?Copy !req
491. Yeah, he got addicted to announcing stuff.Copy !req
492. He went on a hot streak at Comic-Con
and nobody told him "No."Copy !req
493. - Now, here you are.
- But, wait—Copy !req
494. Todd? Super important
that we get this cleared. If I may?Copy !req
495. - The laser.
- This is on Deadline, okay?Copy !req
496. My name is attached.Copy !req
497. I turned down Sofia fucking Coppola
to be here!Copy !req
498. Okay, but then we offered you a salary
you couldn't refuse, you know?Copy !req
499. Listen to me, look at me, look at me.
We have the utmost confidence in you.Copy !req
500. Your movie will be released, okay?Copy !req
501. If it's a fucking disaster,
and I strongly feel it will not be,Copy !req
502. I wanna tell you, on my honor
as a Hollywood producer,Copy !req
503. there's no way
we'd pin this on you, okay? No way.Copy !req
504. Not how I operate.Copy !req
505. - Incredibly reassuring, Pat.
- Glad to hear it.Copy !req
506. - Thanks, Anita.
- Thanks, Pat.Copy !req
507. Boom. That is a direct and humane hit.Copy !req
508. - Nice.
- Oh, the nest.Copy !req
509. Bryson, light it up.
Blind those fucking birdies.Copy !req
510. - So, can we lose the Jackhammer?
- The what?Copy !req
511. It's hammer time!Copy !req
512. We got it!Copy !req
513. - Cut!
- Fuck you, Ibsen!Copy !req
514. - Actually, once the CG is in...
- Yeah, I was gonna say,Copy !req
515. - once it's graded and it's, you know—
- ... and you know,Copy !req
516. - you're in the story...
- You've got all the sound effects...Copy !req
517. and you'll have
the color correct and—Copy !req
518. and all the VFX,Copy !req
519. - and it's— Yeah.
- Yeah, I don't mind it.Copy !req
520. - Okay. Happiness, Eric?
- Happiness.Copy !req
521. - Happiness.
- Happiness.Copy !req
522. - Pending Shane's happiness.
- Still couldn't hear.Copy !req
523. Okay, everyone, we are moving on!Copy !req
524. Imagine plummeting to our deaths.
Big news story.Copy !req
525. Then we'd see
whose fucking name comes first.Copy !req
526. Guys!Copy !req
527. Can we go down? My balls are—
I can't feel my balls.Copy !req
528. I can't feel my balls.Copy !req
529. Well, it's done now. Onwards.Copy !req
530. I just want this to be a good film.
Smart people working hard.Copy !req
531. - Yeah, I think we all want that.
- But like a really good one.Copy !req
532. 'Cause when you make movies
like this, but good,Copy !req
533. there's nothing better.Copy !req
534. Plus, decent gig. Baby needs shoes.Copy !req
535. Are we good?Copy !req
536. Dan, as your producer, we are great.
We are in great shape.Copy !req
537. - Okay, good.
- As your friend,Copy !req
538. Rome is burning.Copy !req
539. Walls are tumbling down
and careers are being destroyed.Copy !req
540. Daniel, if you care too much
about this job, it will kill you.Copy !req
541. We are not at war...Copy !req
542. but we're at war.Copy !req
543. Fucking with you.Copy !req
544. Yeah. Everything's great.Copy !req
545. Nothing to worry about. Night, Dan.Copy !req
546. Mollusk Man traveling.
Can someone de-rig his diaper? Over.Copy !req
547. Well, that's a wrappy on the nappy.Copy !req
548. "I am big.
It's the nappies that got small."Copy !req
549. Actually, I've got quite a long
car journey home.Copy !req
550. I'll just leave it on.Copy !req
551. What's it like working with Adam?Copy !req
552. Adam?Copy !req
553. Adam, he's instinctual,
like a bear or a hog.Copy !req
554. And I say this with, you know, respect.
It's like working with a chimpanzee,Copy !req
555. which I've done twice actually,
once with tragic consequences.Copy !req
556. Awful story. Bong-Bong was his name.
They caught him one day stealing donutsCopy !req
557. from the craft services,
which one must never do.Copy !req
558. And so his owner,
in an attempt to chide him,Copy !req
559. ended up beating him to death
with an axe handle.Copy !req
560. Terrible, terrible, and very messy.Copy !req
561. Obviously, there was no chance
of the chimp doing any press or publicityCopy !req
562. to promote the movie after that.
How could he? He was dead.Copy !req
563. So in the end, they brought in
a second chimp to do Carson.Copy !req
564. Rum-Tum, I think it was.Copy !req
565. Anyway, the whole press campaign
was a bit of a washout after that.Copy !req
566. I often think that's why
the movie never found an audience.Copy !req
567. Screenplay was terrific.Copy !req
568. "Do You Take This Chimp?" it was called.Copy !req
569. David Mamet did an uncredited polish.Copy !req
570. Bong-Bong.Copy !req
571. I haven't thought about poor little bugger
for 30 years.Copy !req
572. Or David Mamet, for that matter.Copy !req