1. bad twerp!Copy !req
2. wands and wings.
Floaty, crowny things.Copy !req
3. obtuse,
rubber goose,Copy !req
4. green moose,
guava juice.Copy !req
5. Giant snake,
birthday cake,Copy !req
6. large fries,
chocolate shake!Copy !req
7. yeah,
right.Copy !req
8. Captioning made possible by
U.S. department of education
and nickelodeonCopy !req
9. captioned by the national
captioning institute
—www.Ncicap.Org—Copy !req
10. Ms. I wish
to thank all the parentsCopy !req
11. who donated their time
in making thisCopy !req
12. the most amazing
career day ever!Copy !req
13. Whoo!Copy !req
14. Who'd have thought
we'd actually haveCopy !req
15. parents who are
wrestling stars,Copy !req
16. race-car champions...Copy !req
17. And astronauts!Copy !req
18. Free moon rocks
for everyone!Copy !req
19. Yay!Copy !req
20. Ha! That's nothing.Copy !req
21. Wait till they hear
what my dad does!Copy !req
22. Next up,
to tell us about
his amazing career—Copy !req
23. Mr. Turner!Copy !req
24. Whoo!Copy !req
25. Hey, kids.
My name is Timmy's dad!Copy !req
26. I'm what you might call
a pencil pusher,Copy !req
27. and I brought free
really pointy pencilsCopy !req
28. for everybody!Copy !req
29. Catch!Copy !req
30. My eye!Copy !req
31. Hey, if you don't
like the pencils,
I'll take them back.Copy !req
32. I work with pencils
all day,Copy !req
33. and they've never
hurt me.Copy !req
34. Gahh!Copy !req
35. Till today!Copy !req
36. Pencils, why
have you betrayed me?Copy !req
37. You know, Timmy,
I might not haveCopy !req
38. a cool job
like the other parents,Copy !req
39. but at least
I'm always here
to say good night.Copy !req
40. Besides, it's not
like those kidsCopy !req
41. were laughing at me,
right?Copy !req
42. Uh...Copy !req
43. Oh, my gosh!Copy !req
44. They were!Copy !req
45. Oh, no!Copy !req
46. Those kids
made your dad cry!Copy !req
47. Yeah. Usually
it takes a monkeyCopy !req
48. or a bowl of pudding
to do that.Copy !req
49. Oh, man!Copy !req
50. Bean counter...Copy !req
51. Ooh, at this rate,
I'll never find a jobCopy !req
52. that'll get those kids
to stop laughing at me.Copy !req
53. Did you hear that,
guys?Copy !req
54. He's looking
for a cooler job.Copy !req
55. Timmy, adult humansCopy !req
56. can't just point
and click their wayCopy !req
57. to any job they want.Copy !req
58. It doesn't work
like that.Copy !req
59. And we know
that college
doesn't help.Copy !req
60. What if I wished for him
to find a cooler job?Copy !req
61. Could I help my dad then?Copy !req
62. It can totally
work like that.Copy !req
63. Ok, cosmo,Copy !req
64. then I wish my dad
was on a magical web siteCopy !req
65. that could give him
any cool job he wanted.Copy !req
66. Hi! Welcome to...Copy !req
67. Neat!Copy !req
68. Tired of
your son's friendsCopy !req
69. thinking you've
got a lame job?Copy !req
70. Yes, yes, yes!Copy !req
71. Click on me
to be instantly placedCopy !req
72. in a totally cool job
that kids won't laugh at!Copy !req
73. Yow!Copy !req
74. You've chosen...Copy !req
75. Race-car driverCopy !req
76. as your
really cool job!Copy !req
77. Neat! I've got
a really cool new job!Copy !req
78. And now I've got to get
a really cool new eye patch.Copy !req
79. Yeah!Copy !req
80. This is
a totally cool job!Copy !req
81. Wow, look
at your dad go!Copy !req
82. Yeah. He's gonna win.Copy !req
83. How do you like dad's
cool new job, mom?Copy !req
84. Well, he might
be risking his neckCopy !req
85. and totally uprooting
our lives so we can
travel with him,Copy !req
86. but he sure
seems happier.Copy !req
87. And faster.Copy !req
88. Go, dad!Copy !req
89. Hey,
Timmy's cheering...Copy !req
90. For me!Copy !req
91. Hi, Timmy!Copy !req
92. Look at
my cool new—ehh!Copy !req
93. Aaah!Copy !req
94. Ooh! Need to find
a better job.Copy !req
95. Welcome back to...Copy !req
96. Ah, ha! My arm!Copy !req
97. Uh, uh,
arm hand must get.Copy !req
98. You've chosen...Copy !req
99. Professional
wrestlerCopy !req
100. as your next
cool job.Copy !req
101. Neat!Copy !req
102. Ladies and gentlemen!Copy !req
103. Welcome to
the dimmsdale dimmadome!Copy !req
104. I'm Doug dimmadome!Copy !req
105. Doug dimmadome?Copy !req
106. That's right.
Doug dimmadome.Copy !req
107. And in this corner,Copy !req
108. weighing in
at 450 pounds,Copy !req
109. every person he's wrestled
is breathing through a tube,Copy !req
110. and he hates
parents and pencils,Copy !req
111. crusher mcpersoncrusher!Copy !req
112. Yay, mcpersoncrusher!Copy !req
113. Boo!Copy !req
114. Boo-Copy !req
115. And in this other corner,Copy !req
116. 195 pounds of pure,
unadulterated adult—Copy !req
117. the pencil pusher!Copy !req
118. I'll erase you...Copy !req
119. From existence!Copy !req
120. Yes, I'd like
to increaseCopy !req
121. my husband's
life insurance, please.Copy !req
122. I—I mean, uh,Copy !req
123. I hope your dad
is ok.Copy !req
124. Come on, mom.
He's gonna be great.Copy !req
125. He's a professional
wrestler now.Copy !req
126. Go, dad!Copy !req
127. I mean,
bring the pain,
pencil pusher!Copy !req
128. Timmy!Copy !req
129. Look at how cool
my new job is.Copy !req
130. And check out
the pain I'm bringing.Copy !req
131. Gaaah!Copy !req
132. Pencil!Copy !req
133. Because of you,
crusher failed
elementary school.Copy !req
134. Ok, class.Copy !req
135. Pick up your pencils
and begin your test.Copy !req
136. Yaah!
- Aaah!Copy !req
137. Yaah!Copy !req
138. Aah!Copy !req
139. I'm too young
to be a rich widow!Copy !req
140. Wait... I'm rich.Copy !req
141. Gee, thanks. I—Copy !req
142. 1... 2... 3!
You're out!Copy !req
143. Is my new job cool yet?Copy !req
144. Really, honey,Copy !req
145. maybe you should just
return to your old job.Copy !req
146. No! Must find jobCopy !req
147. that makes son proudCopy !req
148. and stops kids
from laughing.Copy !req
149. No, no,
stay away from me.Copy !req
150. Stay away!
Ah, ha!Copy !req
151. My spleen!Copy !req
152. You've picked...Copy !req
153. AstronautCopy !req
154. as your next
cool job.Copy !req
155. Hi, honey.
Hi, Timmy!Copy !req
156. Hey, dad.Copy !req
157. Whoo!
Cool new threadsCopy !req
158. for your cool new job.Copy !req
159. Yeah, you like it?Copy !req
160. This high-tech spacesuitCopy !req
161. even has
a built-in toiletCopy !req
162. that beeps
when I use it.Copy !req
163. Really?Copy !req
164. Roger that!Copy !req
165. And there's my ride.Copy !req
166. Well, I'm off to exploreCopy !req
167. the final frontier.Copy !req
168. Dad, wait!Copy !req
169. Dad! Ohh!Copy !req
170. He—he didn't
even say good-bye.Copy !req
171. Oh, don't worry,
sport.Copy !req
172. Yeah, I'm sure
he'll tell you
all about itCopy !req
173. when he gets back
from his first big dayCopy !req
174. as an astronaut.Copy !req
175. What do you mean
dad's not here?Copy !req
176. Isn't he gonna say
good night to me?Copy !req
177. He just got assignedCopy !req
178. to an important
new space program,Copy !req
179. and he sent us
this video e-mail.Copy !req
180. Dear family.Copy !req
181. Hope Timmy
is proud of me
and my cool new job.Copy !req
182. I'm being sent
on a 23-year trip
to uranus—Copy !req
183. which turns out to
be a planet—Copy !req
184. to begin immediately.Copy !req
185. See you when I'm 65.Copy !req
186. End transmission.Copy !req
187. It's a planet.
Who knew?Copy !req
188. I'm too young and richCopy !req
189. to be married
to someone who's 65!Copy !req
190. 23 years?Copy !req
191. I didn't want him
out of my lifeCopy !req
192. until those awkward
teen years.Copy !req
193. Well, maybe you
should tell him that.Copy !req
194. Before he goes
to uranus.Copy !req
195. I wish we were
at the launch.Copy !req
196. I'm Chet ubetcha
at the launch siteCopy !req
197. where national hero
Timmy's dad,Copy !req
198. suit full,Copy !req
199. is about to be launched
to uranus.Copy !req
200. Just a moment.Copy !req
201. I'm receiving confirmation
that uranus, is, in fact,Copy !req
202. a planet!Copy !req
203. This is
Chet ubetcha sayingCopy !req
204. I sure wish my dad
had a job that cool.Copy !req
205. Wow!Copy !req
206. Everybody sure thinks
your dad's job is cool.Copy !req
207. Yeah, but I never
see him anymore.Copy !req
208. I don't see anything anymore.Copy !req
209. I liked it better
when he was around
to be laughed at.Copy !req
210. I've gotta stop him!Copy !req
211. Fuel... Check.Copy !req
212. Batteries... Check.Copy !req
213. Spacesuit...Copy !req
214. Check.Copy !req
215. Launch commencing
in 30... 29...Copy !req
216. Everything a-ok,
captain Turner. Over.Copy !req
217. Yes.Copy !req
218. Let's boldly go—Copy !req
219. Dad, no!Copy !req
220. Don't do it!Copy !req
221. Don't boldly go!Copy !req
222. But your friends aren't
laughing at me anymoreCopy !req
223. because
of my cool new job.Copy !req
224. Don't you want a dad
with a cool new job?Copy !req
225. I don't care,
and you shouldn't,
either.Copy !req
226. It doesn't matter what
you do for a living.Copy !req
227. Coolest job you have
is being my dad.Copy !req
228. - Really?Copy !req
229. Well,Copy !req
230. then the heck
with this!Copy !req
231. Come on,
let's get out of here.Copy !req
232. We lose more
cool dads that way.Copy !req
233. Bongo?Copy !req
234. You're going
to uranus.Copy !req
235. Bye, dad!
Thanks for the lift.Copy !req
236. Any time, son.Copy !req
237. I gotta get to work.Copy !req
238. Those pencilsCopy !req
239. don't push themselves,
you know.Copy !req
240. Wow, Timmy!Copy !req
241. You have
a pretty cool dad.Copy !req
242. Yes, I do.
And best of all,Copy !req
243. he's back to doing
what he does best—Copy !req
244. being my dad.Copy !req
245. Ooh, Timmy!Copy !req
246. I almost forgot,Copy !req
247. don't forget
your pencils.Copy !req
248. Catch!Copy !req
249. Aaahhh!Copy !req
250. Hurting me...
With pointy things.Copy !req
251. And that.
He's really good
at that.Copy !req
252. It's a planet?Copy !req
253. Announcing the arrival
of trixie tang.Copy !req
254. Passengers prepare
for submission.Copy !req
255. We're not worthy!Copy !req
256. We're not worthy!Copy !req
257. Hi, trixie. I—Copy !req
258. not worthy.Copy !req
259. Hi, trixie. Want to talk...Copy !req
260. To me?Copy !req
261. Still not worthy.Copy !req
262. Hi, trixie. Great day
to be at the park, huh?Copy !req
263. Darn it.Copy !req
264. There's gotta be a way
to get trixie to notice me.Copy !req
265. Other than
humiliating myself.Copy !req
266. Hello, dimmsdale.Copy !req
267. I'm here with
award-winning actorCopy !req
268. and filmmakerCopy !req
269. Sylvester calzone,Copy !req
270. here for the annualCopy !req
271. dimmadance
film festival.Copy !req
272. Uh, thanks, Chet.Copy !req
273. As you may
or may not be aware,Copy !req
274. dimmadance is
where I punched out
my first film criticCopy !req
275. and got my big break
by winning this—Copy !req
276. the much sought-after
dimmy award.Copy !req
277. Ooh!Copy !req
278. It's what legitimized me
as a filmmakerCopy !req
279. and a critic-puncher.Copy !req
280. Oh, my gosh!Copy !req
281. I totally love
award-winning filmmakersCopy !req
282. and critic-punchers.Copy !req
283. So, trixie likes
critic-punching
filmmakers, eh?Copy !req
284. Guys, we're
gonna make a movie.Copy !req
285. Mom, dad, can I borrow
the video camera?Copy !req
286. No way, son.Copy !req
287. We're making
a documentary calledCopy !req
288. stupid questions
our son asks us.Copy !req
289. Why would you want
to make a movie
like that?Copy !req
290. Oh, that's
a great stupid question!Copy !req
291. Yes! Ask some more.Copy !req
292. We're getting dimmy
award-winning gold here!Copy !req
293. And trixie will
totally talk to us!Copy !req
294. Why don't you
let us help you
make a movie, Timmy?Copy !req
295. It's a film competition.Copy !req
296. Da rules say
you can't help me
win a competition.Copy !req
297. Nothing says we can't
be your film equipment.Copy !req
298. And then you could make
your own cruddy film.Copy !req
299. Awesome!Copy !req
300. And together we'll makeCopy !req
301. an awesome
dimmy-winning movieCopy !req
302. that trixie'll
totally go nuts over.Copy !req
303. And...Copy !req
304. Action!Copy !req
305. "Timmy Turner presentsCopy !req
306. a sneak preview of
the greatest movie ever."Copy !req
307. Wow.Copy !req
308. Just the fact that
he might win a dimmyCopy !req
309. makes me totally
consider noticing him.Copy !req
310. Trixie tang...Copy !req
311. And other kids
I'm not trying
to impress,Copy !req
312. I'm filmmaker
Timmy Turner,Copy !req
313. and I present to youCopy !req
314. the greatest movie
ever made!Copy !req
315. Aah!
Raah!Copy !req
316. Aaah!Copy !req
317. Ooh! I am good.Copy !req
318. We who are about
to die salute you.Copy !req
319. Ow! My chest.Copy !req
320. Don't be
such a baby.Copy !req
321. Ow, my chest!Copy !req
322. Release the vicious
man-eating lion!Copy !req
323. Roar!Copy !req
324. Aah!
- Aah!Copy !req
325. You've turned off
your targeting computer.Copy !req
326. Something wrong?Copy !req
327. Yeah, my dad's
not happyCopy !req
328. about my friends
jumping on the car.Copy !req
329. More gold!Copy !req
330. It was a masterpiece.Copy !req
331. Yeah, and we did it
all ourselves.Copy !req
332. I didn't even use
a stunt boil.Copy !req
333. It was most awesome!Copy !req
334. Your friends really
seemed to like it.Copy !req
335. Well, duh.
They were in it.Copy !req
336. But what did
trixie think?Copy !req
337. "You stink."Copy !req
338. "Please talk to it."Copy !req
339. I'm gonna say
that's a thumbs-down.Copy !req
340. Oh, Timmy, cheer up.Copy !req
341. You've still got
a chance.Copy !req
342. Wow, she's
a tough critic.Copy !req
343. Are you gonna
punch her?Copy !req
344. - Uhh!Copy !req
345. Trixie might have
hated my film,Copy !req
346. but if tad and Chad's film
stinks more than mine,Copy !req
347. I'll still have a chance
to win a dimmy.Copy !req
348. To be or not to be.Copy !req
349. Annihilate them!Copy !req
350. Aah!Copy !req
351. Yorick,Copy !req
352. I'll be back.Copy !req
353. With weapons.Copy !req
354. Wow. They must
have hated it.Copy !req
355. They can't possibly
cheer forever.Copy !req
356. Well, I still have
a chance to beat themCopy !req
357. in the competition,
right?Copy !req
358. Ooh, sweet!
Did you get that?Copy !req
359. Tell me
you got that!Copy !req
360. Aah!Copy !req
361. Tad and Chad's film
kicks my film's butt.Copy !req
362. Gotta make
a better film.Copy !req
363. What part of magic,
fairy, and godparentsCopy !req
364. are you not getting here?Copy !req
365. But it's a competition.Copy !req
366. True, but if you
just happened to goCopy !req
367. where cool action stuff
was happening...Copy !req
368. And I brought
my film equipment
with meCopy !req
369. and just happened
to catch something
on film...Copy !req
370. And if I just happened
to tear this pageCopy !req
371. out of the rule book
that says we can't
help you...Copy !req
372. Then I would have shot
a dimmy-winning film!Copy !req
373. Come on, let's make
the greatest movie everCopy !req
374. for real!Copy !req
375. Whoa!Copy !req
376. Actual dinosaurs
actually fighting!Copy !req
377. This is way cool.Copy !req
378. And there's the comet
that wiped them all out.Copy !req
379. Uh, if the comet
didn't kill the dinosaurs,Copy !req
380. what did?Copy !req
381. How about...
Sylvester calzone?Copy !req
382. You're the species.Copy !req
383. I'm the extinction.Copy !req
384. Aaah!Copy !req
385. We who are about to die
salute you!Copy !req
386. Wait. We're about to die?Copy !req
387. Wait! Stop, stop!Copy !req
388. Hey, pretty exciting
filmmaking, huh, Timmy?Copy !req
389. Yeah, but it'd be
even more excitingCopy !req
390. if it had
a dimmy-winning
celebrity like...Copy !req
391. Sylvester calzone!Copy !req
392. Hey, this isn't one
of my 3 palatial estatesCopy !req
393. that only a dimmy-winning
filmmaker could afford.Copy !req
394. And these aren't
my pajamas.Copy !req
395. They still have sleeves.Copy !req
396. That's more like it.Copy !req
397. Release the vicious
man-eating lion.Copy !req
398. Uh, that I can punch!Copy !req
399. Red leader.
Red leader!Copy !req
400. I'm starting my attack run
on the death ball.Copy !req
401. You've turned off
your targeting computer.Copy !req
402. Is something wrong?Copy !req
403. Yeah. There's
a kid in here!Copy !req
404. Don't look
at the camera.Copy !req
405. Uh. Can I get
a professional
in here?Copy !req
406. Hey, this isn't
my incredibly
sleek and stylishCopy !req
407. Italian sports car.Copy !req
408. It's much roomier.Copy !req
409. Well, guys,Copy !req
410. is that gonna kick
tad and Chad's movie,
or what?Copy !req
411. Uhh. But you
replaced meCopy !req
412. with an actor
with better teeth.Copy !req
413. And more hair.Copy !req
414. And a well-oiled
chest.Copy !req
415. What? Am I
the only one
who noticed?Copy !req
416. This is
an outrage!Copy !req
417. Yeah, but it's better,Copy !req
418. right?Copy !req
419. I mean, come on, guys.Copy !req
420. The first version stunk.Copy !req
421. Besides, we can be
trixie-impressing,Copy !req
422. award-winning,
critic-punching winnersCopy !req
423. with this.Copy !req
424. Don't you mean
you can?Copy !req
425. Um, duh.Copy !req
426. Wow, they really
seemed upset.Copy !req
427. Well, Timmy,
they were proud of it,Copy !req
428. and you cut them
out of the film.Copy !req
429. Just like a sleazy
Hollywood dirtball.Copy !req
430. Congratulations, Timmy!Copy !req
431. You're finally
a filmmaker.Copy !req
432. Good evening, dimmsdale.
I'm Chet ubetchaCopy !req
433. here at the dimmadance
film festival.Copy !req
434. And with only
one award left,Copy !req
435. let's take a look
at the last contestant.Copy !req
436. Great Scott!
That's us.Copy !req
437. You used the cruddy
version we did.Copy !req
438. Well, I figured I could
show a star-studded movieCopy !req
439. with amazing sound,
color, and music,Copy !req
440. but I'd rather show
a cruddy homemade movieCopy !req
441. with my pals.Copy !req
442. They're laughing.Copy !req
443. They're not supposed
to be laughing.Copy !req
444. Well,
this'll stop soon enough.Copy !req
445. Why don't
they stop laughing?Copy !req
446. Not to be a critic,Copy !req
447. but your film stunk!Copy !req
448. What are you,
some kind of critic?Copy !req
449. Kid's got a point.Copy !req
450. Oh, man.
There goes the dimmy.Copy !req
451. And the dimmy goes to...Copy !req
452. Timmy TurnerCopy !req
453. for best comedy!Copy !req
454. You won!
Which is weird,Copy !req
455. because you
weren't even entered
in that category.Copy !req
456. You were so bad,
you were good.Copy !req
457. Come on.
Is that the best I got?Copy !req
458. You call that a punch?Copy !req
459. Timmy, you did it.Copy !req
460. You're
an award-winning
filmmaker.Copy !req
461. Yeah, but I
couldn't have done it
without you guys,Copy !req
462. and I'll never desert
my friends again.Copy !req
463. Now, excuse me
while I desert you
to talk to trixie.Copy !req
464. Hiya, trixie.Copy !req
465. I'm a filmmaker.Copy !req
466. An award-winning
filmmaker.Copy !req
467. Want to see
my award...Copy !req
468. That I got
for my film...Copy !req
469. That won here?Copy !req
470. I don't understand!Copy !req
471. Why isn't she
talking to me?Copy !req
472. Because,
anonymous voice
from nobody,Copy !req
473. you won for comedy,Copy !req
474. and everybody
knows that comedyCopy !req
475. is the lowest form
of entertainment,Copy !req
476. next to animation.Copy !req
477. Besides,
we're still rich.Copy !req
478. We only did this
'cause we were bored.Copy !req
479. Yeah, come on.Copy !req
480. Let's go be
rock stars now.Copy !req
481. Oh, my gosh!
I just realizedCopy !req
482. I'm totally in love
with rock stars!Copy !req
483. You thinkCopy !req
484. I'd have a shot
if I was a rock star?Copy !req
485. Gold!Copy !req
486. We're already
filming our sequel—Copy !req
487. stupid questions
our son asks other people.Copy !req
488. Come on.
Is that the best I got?Copy !req
489. What are you, a pansy?Copy !req