The Eric Andre Show 5x6

Directed by Kitao Sakurai

Lakeith Stanfield as Himself • Roy Choi as Self • Naya Rivera as Self • Big Freedia as Self • Tiffany Pollard as Self • James Hazley as Blannibal

Blannibal has had enough of the show and quits, too. Eric gets into a dangerous situation with an organized crime associate. Eric and co-host Lakeith Stanfield welcome Tiffany Pollard and Naya Rivera with musical guest Big Freedia.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

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1. Ladies and gentlemen, it's "The Eric Andre Show"!

2. Boy.

3. What the

4. One, two, three, four!

5. You rolling? Rolling.

6. Defense! Defense!

7. Defense! Defense! Defense!

8. Okay!

9. So I've put on a couple pounds this season.

10. Yeah, yeah.

11. I'm actually on the keto diet.

12. Yeah, as in I stole the "key to" the local ice cream parlor.

13. Yeah, I quit.

14. You're leaving too?

15. Clone me.

16. What?

17. Aah!

18. Is that even a cloning machine?

19. Oh!

20. Help! Help! Help me! Help.

21. Can you pedal my penis out of this thing?

22. Oy vey.

23. Ohh!

24. Oh, I got my penis caught in the spokes.

25. I tried to do a cool trick

26. to impress my wife before sundown.

27. Stay where you are. No, no, no. Don't move.

28. I'm not actually Hasidic. I'm Reform.

29. I'm just wearing this yarmulke to cover my exposed brain.

30. Oh, shit.

31. I can taste the color blue.

32. Wow. What a band.

33. All right. My next guest...

34. Yeah!

35. Hey, Lakeith.

36. Namaste.

37. You just going to stand there or...

38. You could sit.

39. All right.

40. Ladies and gentlemen, the reality star, New York!

41. You're drunk already. Yeah, sit.

42. I am. Do you see me tipsy over here?

43. What's going on? You drinking? I'm on my period.

44. I've got my red wings. I'm okay with it.

45. Okay, good. I got my brown wings.

46. Oh, my goodness! That's true. I read that one.

47. Hannibal kicked Flavor Flav in the face,

48. and Flavor Flav took it like a little bitch.

49. I saw that.

50. It was one of the funniest pranks.

51. You thought that was funny? I felt so bad for him.

52. Flavor Flav in particular,

53. I really wanted to get more insight.

54. When you first laid eyes on him, like, how did that...

55. He's a black mother.

56. So was it nighttime? Was it daytime?

57. Hey, Roy Choi is here.

58. Why are we having guests? What is he doing?

59. He's a celebrity chef.

60. Ohh! I'm cooking.

61. What are you cooking?

62. Crystal meth and placenta.

63. Do you do coke? Have you ever done coke?

64. I've done coke. You're the HBIC.

65. What they saying? The head butthole in charge.

66. No, don't start being nasty.

67. I'm not flipping you high-five on that shit.

68. Come on. That was a good one, dude.

69. No, it's not. You just totally fell for it.

70. I have to say, I was very intimidated to come out here.

71. Why? And I'm never intimidated.

72. But y'all got me feeling like a punk-ass bitch.

73. Just three people having a conversation.

74. You sure? I'm positive.

75. All right. Aah! Oh!

76. See, I don't like shit like that.

77. Nah, there's dead birds.

78. Please don't start with me.

79. No, dead birds.

80. What else is coming down?

81. It's just dead birds. Raining dead birds.

82. Aah! Oh, God. Please! Stop, y'all.

83. Are these birds real?

84. They're real. Okay.

85. Oh, shit!

86. Aah!

87. Aah! No! No!

88. What the just happened?

89. That coffee mug is broken.

90. I can't take this.

91. This is going to mess up my equilibrium.

92. Help!

93. Help me!

94. I got pushed out of a boat.

95. I got hooked up with some bad guys.

96. You lucky to be living.

97. Take a seat right here for a minute, bro.

98. Just chill out, man. Gather yourself, brother.

99. Tony Pizza, I think his name is.

100. Hey, what's going on, man?

101. How you doing, man? I'm doing good, brother.

102. What you working on over here?

103. I don't know, the guy got me doing...

104. Hey, hey, hey. Some shit just happened.

105. Homeboy just came out the mother water.

106. Got bricks on his feet.

107. Somebody beat him up and threw him in the water, my boy.

108. Are you serious? I've been looking for a guy like that.

109. He look like this? Huh?

110. Oh, you in the mob or something?

111. No.

112. You look mobbed up. You think so?

113. Yeah, you looking good, boy.

114. Listen. Seriously. Want some extra money?

115. Tell me where he is?

116. A little extra money? Nah, brother.

117. I'll make you a little deal.

118. $20 off two large pizzas.

119. Nah, nah. I'm straight, brother man. You know what I mean?

120. If you see him, I'm going to be over there.

121. You holler. Nah, nah. It's all good, brother.

122. What the going on right now?

123. Pfff! Nigga, this some crazy shit.

124. I got to get the up out of here, son.

125. Psst.

126. Yo, homes.

127. Yo, get the out of here, guy.

128. Dude, you're the man, man.

129. Yo, homes, don't come over here.

130. Leave me me the alone, bro.

131. You've got to get me a job here with you, man.

132. Nah, nah. We ain't in this shit together, bro.

133. I don't know you from nowhere, man

134. You want a shrimp?

135. Bro...

136. I've been swimming with the fishes. That's what's up.

137. You should have stayed in that shit.

138. You're asking me questions. I'm just trying to explain.

139. I'm not asking you shit.

140. I don't give a if they chop

141. your mother head off

142. and throw that shit in the water...

143. What? Whose side are you on?

144. and send that shit to your moms, boy.

145. Okay, man. I'm just...

146. I'm gonna get on my scooter and get out of here.

147. I don't give a about that scooter.

148. I'll toss that shit in the water, too.

149. It's powered by electric eels.

150. Eat your heart out, Elon Musk. I'm out of here.

151. Yo, what the is going on right now?

152. I feel like me and you have, like,

153. a chemistry that can't be denied.

154. It can be denied because this is the worst time

155. I've ever had in an interview.

156. I feel so uncomfortable. Really?

157. I can't tell if you're messing with me or not.

158. I'm not messing with you!

159. This is terrible!

160. I'm getting ready to pack my things and just get out of here.

161. We're not even at the halfway point.

162. Oh! What the is going...

163. It's a pelican.

164. Make it go away!

165. That's pretty much all it does.

166. It's a pelican.

167. What the do y'all have a pelican in here for?

168. It's his birthday.

169. Ha ha! And we're back with New York.

170. So, uh, do you know that smoking...

171. is actually good for you?

172. Oh! Oh!

173. My titties are gonna come out. Please don't.

174. Hey, hey. Leave the medical mumbo-jumbo for the scientists.

175. Tiffany. Tiffany.

176. What's he doing up there?

177. What happened?

178. Everything's safe now.

179. You like those Spider-Man movies, the new ones?

180. I do.

181. Endgame"...

182. What the is that?

183. Oh, sorry. Sorry, he's a little bit drunk.

184. They kicked me out of the NYPD.

185. Well, they're trying to.

186. I'm just getting lit with this horse.

187. Hey!

188. I feel like I'm in "Paree," France.

189. Ow!

190. I gave him a little wine,

191. so he's like, "Uhh..."

192. it's good for their heart.

193. You ever heard of Merlot?

194. Oh, you're...

195. I've been getting high as shit with this thing.

196. I got the horse high. Look at him.

197. Oh! Snack time.

198. It's a German horse chocolate.

199. I took this from behind the horse's tail.

200. - Isn't that crazy? - I'm nuts.

201. I'm eating this horse's feces right now.

202. I'm just a cop eating shit and getting drunk.

203. Okay. That's what I'm doing.

204. To put it in other terms that you could understand,

205. it's poop from a horse.

206. Oh, I got you. Yeah.

207. I got you the first time you said it.

208. What the?

209. "Shit-Eating Horse Cop"

210. is filmed in front of a live studio audience.

211. Is this blood?

212. You want to introduce Naya Rivera?

213. Oh. Naya Rivera.

214. Naya Rivera!

215. Hi.

216. I want to talk to the real Naya Rivera

217. and peel back the layers

218. like a Bloomin' Onion at the Outback Steakhouse.

219. What do you want to know?

220. Do you act or something?

221. Where'd you get your start? Jesus Christ.

222. Can you tell me a story about your experience on "Glee"?

223. It was really fun.

224. Were you full of glee when you went on set?

225. Hey, you want some moth water?

226. What? No.

227. Check it out. It's moth water.

228. No. No. It's been sitting

229. outside Keto's house for like seven years.

230. Do you want some? No. No, absolutely the not.

231. Are you sure? No.

232. Why? I'm not gonna pour it on you.

233. No, no, no, no. Want to drink it?

234. No! No, no, we're not gonna pour it on you. It's moth water.

235. You don't know the healing powers of moth water.

236. Ooh, that's nice.

237. Ladies and gentlemen, Big Freedia!

238. Lil Freedia!

239. Oh!

240. All right, Lil Freedia.

241. - These birds real? - They're real.

242. Okay.