The Eric Andre Show 5x2

Directed by

Hannibal Buress as Self • James Hazley as Blannibal

After only one and a half episodes, Hannibal quits the show and is poorly cloned into a giant mutant version of himself named Blannibal.

Request examples:

!req The Eric Andre Show 5x2 [02:32]
!req The Eric Andre Show 5x2 [The Eric Andre Show 5x2]
Syntax: !req EPISODE [quote or timestamp] (max. 8 square brackets)

For quotes, now you can request by index (e.g !req The Eric Andre Show 5x2 [10-11]; !req The Eric Andre Show 5x2 [20] [24]). Keep in mind, though, that index numbers might change at any time.
You can also generate a copy command with the quotes. Hover the desired subtitle and enter the amount of lines you want to copy.

Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. Ladies and gentleman, it's "The Eric Andre Show"!

2. Aah! Aah! Aaaaaah!

3. Aah! Oh!

4. Ugh!

5. Aah!

6. Aah!

7. Who-o-o-a!

8. Oh, God.

9. Sweet blessings to you, my divine chocolate prince.

10. Dah!

11. Monologue, monologue, monologue, monologue, monologue.

12. - Hey! - Hannibal.

13. - What? - Chime in.

14. Well, to what? There's no flow.

15. What's going on behind those glasses?

16. Let me see those little peepers.

17. Huh?

18. Oh, that's it. You got the river blindness.

19. Like an old blues player.

20. - This is just from my creativity. - Bullshit.

21. How many fingers am I holding up?

22. Five.

23. You want to go see the baseball game later?

24. Sure.

25. Love you, Pops.

26. I love you, too, son.

27. Hi. Sorry to bother you.

28. Do you mind watching my dad just for two seconds?

29. I just have to use the restroom real quick.

30. - Okay, hurry up. - I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Thank you so much.

31. I appreciate it.

32. Oh!

33. - Aah! Aah! - Aah!

34. Aah!

35. Oh!

36. Ow! Ow!

37. What happened? What happened?

38. - She pushed me! - Oh, no. - No.

39. I trusted you.

40. What — what is going on here?

41. Dude, I'll never trust anyone again...

42. except for Lexivan.

43. Ohh! It hurts!

44. You know, when your dad falls down a flight of stairs,

45. whether someone pushed him or not, Lexivan will help.

46. Ohh!

47. They're the only pill that are actually lemon- and lime-flavored.

48. If you're stressed, take one.

49. What's the worst that could happen?

50. Lexivan — What's the worst that can happen?

51. Ladies and gentlemen, rap superstar Saweetie!

52. I like your table.

53. Thank you.

54. Can I call you Sawwy? - Sawwy?

55. Yeah, like, "I'm Sawwy."

56. Okay, okay.

57. Are you on psychedelics?

58. - No. - Prove it.

59. Whoa! - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

60. That chair is cool.

61. Whew!

62. Whoa!

63. I still got it, after all these years.

64. Eric! Eric! Eric! Eric! Eric! Eric!

65. Eric! Eric! Eric! Eric! Eric! Eric! Eric! Eric! Eric!

66. Whoo.

67. What's going on here, guys?

68. Oh, I have, like, a lowrider kind of desk.

69. - I quit. - What?

70. - Peace. - Bye.

71. There's a nose hair over there.

72. Just clone me. I'm out.

73. Clone me. Clone me.

74. Clone me. Clone me. Clone me.

75. Yes. Yes! He's even better than Hannibal.

76. He's Blannibal.

77. Blannibal.

78. I don't... register what you just did.

79. I got — I got a couple of video games on there.

80. The flip phone, I was noticing on there,

81. it looks like, if you text, you've got to do —

82. if you want "C," you got to click it three times.

83. Anybody using a — Oh, my God.

84. Oh!

85. Oh! Ah! Ow!

86. Oh, my God! - What the hell happened?

87. - Are you okay? Ah!

88. Do you believe in God?

89. You know, that stinks, but I'll tell you what doesn't stink.

90. You've been on "Fart 'Splosion" this entire time.

91. You should've seen the look on your face.

92. Here's $5. Here's $5.

93. Here's $5.

94. - Really, we got surprised. - And then he farted?

95. Then he farted, and he broke another window, yeah.

96. When the second window broke,

97. I honestly thought, you know, we might be in —

98. we might be in harm's way. - Right, right.

99. I mean, this was very concerning.

100. When you're on "Fart 'Splosion," you make money,

101. and we all farted before you guys got here.

102. Aw, nice weather we're having, Blannibal, right?

103. You know her from "Shameless." Please welcome...

104. Ooh, nice.

105. Oh. Mwah, mwah. - Mwah, mwah.

106. Yeah, it's gone. - Yeah. Thank you.

107. Can I get you anything? Water? Coffee?

108. I'm okay. Thank you.

109. Yeah, I'll do a coffee. Yeah, yeah, thank you.

110. - That's really nice. - Yeah, yeah, thanks so much.

111. - What's his name? - I don't know.

112. - How do you not know the people — - Here he is.

113. - I'm Paul. Here you go. - His name's Paul.

114. - What the hell? - How you doing?

115. He got that shit fast. Thank you so much.

116. Thank you for the water. I actually did want it.

117. Who's this? - That's Blannibal.

118. Hannibal quit the show, so I had to clone him.

119. Hi, Blannibal.

120. - How are you?

121. Yo! What's up?

122. What stinks in here?

123. Hi.

124. Blannibal, you're so funny, Bla— Blannibal.

125. Well, you're known for — you're known for dropping pretty big deuces on set.

126. You're known as the set coil dropper. - That is not true.

127. You know, I'm actually a germophobe, and I —

128. Oh, what's —

129. Hey!

130. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

131. What is happening?

132. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

133. Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! - Bravo!

134. Hey!

135. Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

136. Mazel tov! Hey, hey.

137. Alright, mazel.

138. Those are some handsome Jews.

139. Those were some good-looking Jews!

140. This was the best interview ever, right?

141. Oh, shit! - Oh!

142. Hi, guys. I'm with this company.

143. It's a new airline called Asian Southeast Air.

144. Would you be willing to sign up to — to your e-mail?

145. - Sure. - Ooh!

146. Holy That guy just crawled out of the water.

147. - He was in the water? - Ow.

148. Help me. Help me. - They're calling help.

149. Don't move any further. Just stay there, okay?

150. - Are you Angel? Is that your name? - Yeah, that is my name, yeah.

151. I'm working a promo thing. - Yeah, me, too.

152. Working a promo thing with Asian Southeast Air?

153. I was a week ago.

154. But you weren't working right now, were you?

155. - No, I was in a plane. - You were in a plane?

156. They said if I sold 20 credit cards,

157. they were gonna fly me to Hawaii.

158. I had, like, all the legroom in the world,

159. I was eating peanuts, and the pilot came out,

160. and he said I lied, he said I fudged the numbers.

161. And the guy pushed me out of the —

162. He pushed me out of the...

163. I wouldn't t— I wouldn't trust —

164. I wouldn't trust those people you're working for.

165. I was you a week ago. - Okay.

166. There's no medical person around here?

167. Angel, you saved my life.

168. Okay, sit still.

169. - They tried to kill me. - Sit down.

170. I still have the — I still have these peanuts.

171. You fell in the water. Why are you eating that?

172. - They cleaned up the East River. Do you want some Lexivan? - No.

173. It's the only psychoactive drug that's lemon-lime flavor.

174. Someone pushed you out the plane, you said?

175. Yeah, I got pushed out of the plane.

176. Lexivan — now in lemon-lime flavor.

177. Ladies and gentleman, "Rapper Warrior Ninja."

178. Alright, Jasper, do the dizzy bat, but keep rapping.

179. Chow down on these hot peppers.

180. - Aah! - Wait. You got to start rapping.

181. Dance! - Ow! What the?

182. What the? - Dance! Dance!

183. Aah!

184. - Come on! Nigga, cut!

185. - Is it spicy? - It's so hot.

186. Where do I got to go? Oh! Oh, my God!

187. Aah!

188. Grab the money. Yeah!

189. - Ahh! - Taco killing it.

190. Play that beat. Use this microphone.

191. Use this microphone. New microphone for you.

192. - What the - New microphone.

193. Where the am I going?

194. Yes, a new challenge.

195. Oh!

196. Oh!

197. Oh!

198. Oh, shit, the celebrity guest judge Danny Brown!

199. Talib Kweli! Talib Kweli!

200. He just got here!

201. Ow!

202. It's terrible.

203. Abso Lutely.

204. - Someone pushed you out the plane? - Yeah, I got pushed

205. out of the plane.