The Eric Andre Show 4x5

Directed by

Jesse Williams as Self • Jillian Michaels as Self • OG Maco as Self • Tim Janus as Self • Penn Jillette as Self

Actor Jesse Williams and television personality Jillian Michaels are interviewed; OG Maco and Tim Janus perform; Penn Jillette appears.

Request examples:

!req The Eric Andre Show 4x5 [02:32]
!req The Eric Andre Show 4x5 [The Eric Andre Show 4x5]
Syntax: !req EPISODE [quote or timestamp] (max. 8 square brackets)

For quotes, now you can request by index (e.g !req The Eric Andre Show 4x5 [10-11]; !req The Eric Andre Show 4x5 [20] [24]). Keep in mind, though, that index numbers might change at any time.
You can also generate a copy command with the quotes. Hover the desired subtitle and enter the amount of lines you want to copy.

Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. Ladies and gentlemen, it's "The Eric Andre Show"!

2. Oh!

3. Help me!

4. Oh!

5. Oh!

6. Mmm!

7. Oh!

8. Words, words, words, words, words, words.

9. Punch line.

10. Words, words, words, word, words, words.

11. Punch line. - You did it!

12. You broke comedy down to its bare essentials!

13. Words, words, words, word, words, words.

14. Punch line.

15. Words, words, words, word, words, words.

16. Punch line.

17. Words, words, words, word, words, words.

18. Punch line.

19. Words, words, words, word, words, words.

20. Punch line.

21. Words, words, words, word, words, words.

22. Punch line.

23. Magic, magic, magic, magic, magic, magic.

24. Atheism!

25. Magic, magic, magic, magic, magic, magic.

26. Atheism!

27. Magic, magic, magic, magic, magic, magic.

28. Atheism!

29. On this week's episode of "Grocery Goofs"...

30. Hmm.

31. Yeah, that will be $47.

32. $47 for a juice?

33. What?

34. Oh, I don't know, man. I don't even work here.

35. I wonder if he can still see me.

36. I don't see you.

37. I wonder if he can see anyone anymore.

38. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Did you read the sign?

39. No swearing? That —

40. Be cool.

41. Be cool.

42. And, hey...

43. He's being held hostage. He's my sex slave.

44. My sex slave.

45. Uh-oh. Gulp!

46. This ice cream is heaven.

47. You got to — you got to — oh!

48. You got to get this ice cream.

49. "Grocery Goofs."

50. Um...

51. The next guy to come out is Jesse Williams.

52. - How you doing, man? - Good, good.

53. You're handsome as shit!

54. You're a hunk.

55. - It's the lights. - You got piercing blue eyes.

56. They're piercing. - Sorry.

57. Into my urethra.

58. I head you had sex with an Asian girl on "Grey's Anatomy."

59. You did?

60. - That's going around. - Is that, is that?

61. What's her name?

62. Uh, Sandra Oh, probably.

63. Burgess Meredith.

64. - Her — well, that... - You look like a cross between

65. Bill Cosby and Jared from Subway.

66. Do you get that a lot? - Um, and the, you know —

67. Yo, you're beautiful, man!

68. All right, listen to this.

69. Bitch, shit, ass, piss.

70. Shit, bitch, suck.

71. Kike, little nig, ass, bitch.

72. Uh, I'm auditioning for the Tourette's movie.

73. Okay.

74. Let's watch a clip from my movie.

75. Uh, shit.

76. shit, tits, boobs.

77. What's that one?

78. I have Tourette's.

79. From "Tourette's: The Movie." I'm auditioning for it.

80. Uh-huh.

81. - What's up, man? - What's up?

82. It's a little bright out here for you, man.

83. It's time for this interview to go extreme!

84. Extreme.

85. Slow mo extreme.

86. What is this?

87. I've been eating burritos for weeks for this segment.

88. Ranch.

89. Oh, shit! You're Lady Godiva.

90. I have a medical crystal meth card, dude.

91. Went to Burning Man, got my license,

92. when to Coachella, got P.T.S.D.

93. Next thing you know, I'm looking at my Rolodex,

94. I realize it's dance day on Shark Week.

95. Halal!

96. Halal!

97. Halal!

98. Halal!

99. Ranch!

100. Doth my nugs bequeath me?

101. You're Bangkok Dangerous.

102. What's up, Bangkok Dangerous?

103. You want to cipher some Wu Tang lyrics with me?

104. I fingered RoboCop.

105. Ladies and gentlemen, fitness guru Jillian Michaels.

106. Hey!

107. We need — We had another Jillian on this show.

108. It was crazy!

109. Me and you are in great shape, and I do exercise.

110. So, you know, compliment me, please.

111. That's great.

112. And it's — I think that it's really important

113. that you're sending that message.

114. Now, are you for real?

115. Or are you a Chinese guy in special effects makeup?

116. - Hmm. - What?

117. Like an Eddie Murphy kind of outfit.

118. I don't — I'm not following you there.

119. And did you get your start on a show called "Sassy Cathy"?

120. Mmm.

121. No.

122. I'm 4:20 friendly, and I skate,

123. and I can do anything I want to do.

124. And I'm really good at interviewing,

125. so I don't always have to do a good interview, though.

126. Bradley Cooper as Donald Sterling.

127. I don't always have to be...

128. "Get these niggers out of my game."

129. Who's that, who's that? Donald Sterling?

130. "Don't hang with Magic Johnson.

131. Do not bring Magic Johnson to the Clippers game."

132. Oh, that guy.

133. I'm giving birth to jazz.

134. Charlie Parker, blow that horn!

135. I'm giving birth to jeans.

136. I gave birth to jeans.

137. They're little baby jeans.

138. Okay.

139. It's time to get vaccinated!

140. All right!

141. You ready for some autism?

142. Oh.

143. Can you tell me how much it is to fix this bumper?

144. Bumper?

145. How much is it to fix this?

146. How much is it to fix this window?

147. How much is it to fix this back window?

148. It's glass, man!

149. My car? Somebody messed up my car!

150. Some teenagers messed up my car!

151. What the

152. How, I'm a car, too, you know.

153. Vroom!

154. Eric's Car Place.

155. I'm a car, too, you know.

156. No, no, I got this!

157. No, no, I got this!

158. Hey, you! - Come on.

159. Come on, man.

160. And we are back with Jillian Michaels.

161. This is...

162. My desk is freaking jacked up.

163. - So, Jillian. - So, Jillian.

164. - You saw uh... - You saw uh...

165. - Dude, I mean... - Dude, I mean...

166. - Uh... - Uh...

167. - I just feel like... - I just feel like...

168. I'm having an acid flashback right now.

169. I'm having an acid flashback right now.

170. No. No. No, no, no. No.

171. - Don't try to do shit with her. - Excuse you.

172. - Drop it. - Drop it.

173. Don't try to pull shit with Jillian.

174. Don't psychically cock-block me, asshole.

175. Don't cock-block me, asshole.

176. - Wake up. - No!

177. - No! - You're psychically blocking me.

178. You're psychically blocking me!

179. I'm hitting it off with Jillian Barberie-Michaels,

180. and you are psychically blocking me.

181. Psychically blocking me!

182. Hey, I'm the guy from the last time, remember me?

183. My sex slave.

184. For Hostage TV!

185. Hostage TV! I'm being exploited.

186. Would you like to be interviewed for Hostage TV?

187. - No! - Please.

188. - No, no, no! - Please, save my life.

189. They're holding a lot of people hostage in America nowadays.

190. What do you think of that?

191. I cannot answer by looking at this, man.

192. So, so strange for me.

193. I don't like this. - Is it strange?

194. I respect everyone that likes this kind of stuff, but I...

195. Here to have a hot dog eating rap battle,

196. competitive eater Tim Janus versus OG Maco!

197. Eat, rap, eat, rap, eat, rap.

198. What the...

199. Atheism!

200. He's gonna be saying, "Bitch, you guessed it"

201. to the toilet later.

202. Hannibal, grow up.