1. Ladies and gentlemen, it's...
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2. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
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3. Aah! Aah! Aah!
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4. Ohh! Ohh! Aah! Ohh-ohh-ohh!
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5. Ugh! Ohh! Ohh!
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6. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
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7. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
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8. Aaaaaaaaaah!
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9. Aaaaaaaaaah!
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10. Whoa!
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11. Why is this happening?
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12. Yee-hoo!
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13. Yee-hoo!
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14. Yee...
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15. Hey. What up?
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16. Hey. Hannibal... Buress.
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17. Whoo!
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18. Yes!
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19. Welcome, everybody!
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20. I hope you are all ready for
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21. the cosmic dawn!
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22. Hannibal, I want you to read
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23. these pamphlets.
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24. They contain the truth!
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25. The band has already followed my
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26. lead.
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27. Are you starting a cult,
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28. man?
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29. Hannibal, your new name is
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30. mannibal.
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31. Hey, the atf's here.
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32. Atf! Clear!
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33. These guys keep following me
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34. everywhere here.
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35. I'm not a real elephant.
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36. I'm here for a child's birthday
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37. party.
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38. Hey!
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39. Stop that elephant!
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40. I'm not a real elephant!
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41. I'm here for a child's birthday
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42. party!
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43. I'm not a real elephant!
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44. Aaaah! Aaaah! Aaaah!
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45. Tase him!
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46. Stop!
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47. Owww! Stop!
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48. I'm here for a child's birthday
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49. party!
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50. Ladies and gentlemen, please
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51. welcome my next guest,
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52. wiz khalif-a-a-a-a-a-a!
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53. Yea-a-a-a-a-h!
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54. What's up?
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55. Man!
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56. What's up?
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57. What... Is... Going... On?
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58. What's up?
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59. Me and my friends used to
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60. feed LSD to this little retarded
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61. girl in our neighborhood...
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62. Yeah.
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63. And we'd lock arms around
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64. her and go, "nightmare!
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65. Nightmare! Nightmare!
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66. Nightmare! Nightmare!
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67. Nightmare! Nightmare!
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68. Nightmare!"
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69. You can't do that.
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70. It actually cured her
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71. retardation.
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72. Trying to get into the rap
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73. game, man.
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74. Can you... can you sign me?
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75. Okay.
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76. Cool.
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77. You doing bonnaroo this year?
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78. Bonnaroo...
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79. Okay. So you have me open up.
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80. What the you think
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81. you gonna be doing onstage with
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82. me?
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83. I'm on the Mike.
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84. You're, like, my hype man
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85. no.
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86. The crowd will go nuts.
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87. No.
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88. And then we have
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89. diablo Cody, the woman who wrote
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90. "juno."
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91. Because...
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92. she can come out and do some
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93. DVD commentary live.
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94. No.
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95. I smell a rapper.
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96. Wiz.
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97. Rapper, rap. Woo, woo, woo.
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98. So, hip-hop, rap,
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99. hippity-hop-hop, hip-hap, roo,
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100. rappity-roo-ha, he-Bob.
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101. Yeah.
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102. Missed that fight.
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103. Oh, my god.
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104. You know... help! Eric! Eric!
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105. I got engaged!
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106. Hey, when you take a wiz, do
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107. you get a sense of khalifa?
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108. Yeah!
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109. God damn it!
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110. I still got it!
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111. That was on!
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112. Bring that naked P.A. Out here
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113. now!
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114. Come here, you son of a
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115. bitch!
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116. Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah!
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117. Get him away from me!
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118. Whoo!
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119. Whoo!
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120. I shit you not!
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121. I'm on top!
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122. I'm on top!
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123. I'm on top!
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124. Ohh.
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125. Ohh.
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126. Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys!
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127. Hold up! Hold up! Hold up!
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128. Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!
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129. I'm a potato.
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130. Excuse me.
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131. I'm a living...
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132. I mean, look at me.
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133. What else could I be?
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134. I'm a living potato.
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135. Whoa!
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136. Give this guy some air, man!
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137. I love your energy.
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138. Keep away from him.
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139. Am I a potato... yes or no?
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140. Would you keep away from this
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141. guy?
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142. Am I a potato... yes or no?
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143. Would you keep away from this
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144. person?
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145. I'm a potato! I'm a potato!
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146. What's going on? I'm a potato!
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147. Wow. That guy's really hurt.
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148. Please give it up for the
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149. lovely, wickedly talented
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150. Aubrey peeples!
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151. Hey, boo!
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152. Hi!
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153. Mwah! Mwah!
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154. Mwah!
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155. Faboo, babe...
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156. You look faboo!
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157. Thank you.
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158. John Wayne once said, "I
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159. believe in white supremacy until
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160. blacks are educated to a point
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161. of responsibility."
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162. Why did you retweet that?
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163. I did not retweet that.
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164. Okay.
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165. It says it in my notes, so...
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166. No. Well, that's wrong,
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167. 'cause I don't...
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168. Aubrey, give us some stories
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169. from set at "sharknado."
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170. From "sharknado"?
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171. Yeah! You were on that?
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172. Yeah, I was on that.
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173. It was very fun. We were...
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174. all right, it's time to play
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175. "pick a hot chick's briefcase"!
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176. All right. Pick a lady.
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177. Pick a gal.
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178. Hmm. Uh, number 2.
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179. What?
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180. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
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181. [ Audience clapping
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182. Asshole.
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183. So, you sing.
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184. You good at it?
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185. Am I good at it?
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186. Yeah.
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187. I hope people think I'm good
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188. at it.
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189. Let's sing a song.
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190. Okay.
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191. Ugh.
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192. Oh, god.
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193. Now it's going to the other leg.
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194. [ Scattered cheers and
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195. That was the end of the song?
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196. Yeah.
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197. No.
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198. Okay!
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199. How do you think the show is,
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200. uh...
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201. You know, whatever.
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202. It's a... Good show.
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203. It's not that bad.
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204. Can you hold this?
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205. Ooh.
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206. Time for some ranch!
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207. You seem pretty simple.
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208. What's happening, mcnuggs?
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209. What's your Skype handle, chomo?
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210. I'm going to a "legalize heroin"
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211. convention.
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212. My mom doesn't want me to go.
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213. I told her, "yo, 311 never
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214. happened."
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215. You're pretty mellow, dude.
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216. You shop at whole foods?
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217. You got a little bug on your
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218. shoulder, bro.
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219. You ever fingerblast the octomom
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220. in the octagon?
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221. I'm down to human-centipede some
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222. freshmen in the quad tonight if
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223. you're buying, bro.
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224. Hashtag benghazi.
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225. Oof, man.
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226. How many times a week you Jack
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227. off?
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228. Depends.
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229. So, if my girl is in town, zero
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230. times jacking off.
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231. When she out of town, though, I
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232. be, "blam! Blop, blop! Blam!
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233. Blop! Blam!"
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234. When she going out of town...
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235. Yeah. That's pretty good.
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236. That drop... that bass drop
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237. is the... that's the moment.
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238. Boom!
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239. What is that?
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240. You put it in reverse?
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241. Right now?
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242. Transmission... is that what
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243. that is?
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244. No, that's cookin'.
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245. That's cookin'.
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246. That's not how you cook.
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247. That's cookin'.
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248. You got the pan. This is the...
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249. so, why you bringing it back?
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250. That's drivin'.
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251. No, it's cookin'.
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252. Who the cooks like
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253. that?
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254. Dancers!
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