1. Ladies and gentlemen, it's
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2. "the Eric Andre show"!
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3. Ho ho! Ho ho!
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4. Oh!
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5. Aaaaaah!
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6. Whoo!
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7. Ahh!
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8. Wassup, y'all?
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9. Feeling good, looking better.
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10. Uh, Hannibal, notice anything
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11. different about me?
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12. Yeah, yeah, you got work
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13. done, and you look like... you
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14. look like pure shit.
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15. It's really bad.
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16. Okay, well, if you're jealous
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17. now, wait till you get a load of
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18. these.
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19. I got poop implants!
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20. There's no real use for that
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21. in life.
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22. Uh, Hannibal, my eyes are
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23. up here.
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24. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
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25. Aah!
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26. Hey, you know where the
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27. Nintendo convention is?
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28. I got burning man rehearsal at
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29. the tosh.0 amphitheater, dude.
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30. Starts in 311 minutes!
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31. What's up, brotendo?
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32. I was thinking about getting my
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33. foreskin sewn back on 'cause I
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34. haven't candy-flipped this hard
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35. since I got adult circumcised,
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36. bro.
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37. Fresh.
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38. You got a pretty sick style.
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39. You wanna buttchug some jenkem?
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40. Aaah!
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41. No disrespect. Do you squirt?
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42. I ain't trying to drain your
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43. meat flaps.
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44. I'm just hashtag askin'.
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45. My boy's trying to pop a drain
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46. in your beef glands, but I'm
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47. just trying to write some
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48. super Nintendo yelp reviews.
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49. What are you reading?
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50. "Mein kampf"?
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51. Our next guest...
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52. I don't know.
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53. Shit.
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54. Jillian barberie, everybody!
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55. What are you doing?
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56. That's my job.
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57. Jillian barberie!
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58. Jillian barberie!
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59. Jillian barberie!
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60. Hey, what's up, Jillian?
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61. Good to see you!
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62. Good to see you, too!
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63. Mwah!
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64. Oh, we're fancy here.
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65. All right. Take a load off.
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66. Thank you.
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67. My god.
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68. Thank you.
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69. Bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep
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70. bleep blorp.
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71. You ever heard of a robot
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72. before?
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73. I don't even know what that
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74. means.
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75. I don't even know.
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76. It's pretty clear.
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77. Anything else?
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78. Um...
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79. What was I gonna say?
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80. Did you say something before?
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81. No, I wasn't saying anything.
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82. I never use condoms, ever!
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83. Come to my house for an
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84. afternoon, and you will use
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85. condoms.
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86. Ooh!
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87. No!
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88. Jillian barberie!
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89. Jillian barberie!
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90. Jillian barberie!
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91. Jillian barberie!
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92. Jillian barberie!
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93. En garde!
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94. Hah!
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95. Thrust!
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96. Hah!
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97. What are y'all doing?
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98. We're fencing, you fool!
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99. Hah!
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100. Hah!
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101. Touché.
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102. Touché.
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103. Aaaaah!
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104. That's enough!
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105. That's enough!
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106. Knock it off!
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107. Sorry, sorry, sorry.
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108. That's enough!
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109. You're driving me crazy!
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110. Jillian barberie!
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111. I-I have a theory about white
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112. women.
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113. Can we get this desk outta
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114. here?
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115. This isn't safe!
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116. I'm doing some work at my
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117. house.
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118. I need some... oh! Wow!
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119. Look at you, fancy!
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120. Jay leno... they don't have
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121. this.
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122. Jimmy kimmel.
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123. Yeah, exactly.
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124. But I do agree with when
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125. they...
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126. You wanna play something?
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127. Play something.
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128. Okay.
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129. Hannibal.
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130. hey!
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131. hey!
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132. Can you help me kill myself?
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133. Oy vey, do you know that
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134. they're taking Benadryl off of
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135. the market?
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136. Why would they take that off
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137. the market?
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138. Why would they
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139. take that off the market?
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140. You and shit?
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141. Of course I and shit.
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142. Tight!
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143. Ooh, lord, my poops are too
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144. big!
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145. You talking to a six-figure
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146. man.
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147. I spent $3 million in three
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148. years, nigga.
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149. Believe I owe this
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150. Country anything!
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151. I don't believe this country
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152. owes me anything!
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153. Aaaah!
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154. This is Tony TV.
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155. And we'll be right ba...
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156. I had a f... I knew a person
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157. named Lucius in college.
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158. Mm-hmm.
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159. Yeah.
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160. That's it?
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161. That's all you had to say?
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162. Yeah!
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163. Hey, what's up?
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164. I'm kraft punk.
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165. Uh...
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166. Hi, kraft punk.
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167. I have a new hidden-camera
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168. show.
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169. "Kraft punk'd."
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170. Yeah, yeah, we know.
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171. All right, kraft punk, we
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172. got it.
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173. Thank you.
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174. Check it out.
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175. Shhh.
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176. You just got kraft punk'd!
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177. There's a hidden camera there.
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178. There's a hidden camera there.
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179. There's a hidden camera there.
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180. There's a hidden camera there.
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181. Did you guys know I cannot die?
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182. Please leave! Thank you!
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183. Kraft punk.
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184. Okay. Bye.
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185. Ladies and gentlemen,
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186. championship boxer
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187. Victor Ortiz!
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188. All right!
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189. The champion!
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190. What's happening, playboy?
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191. Hey.
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192. You ever been on acid?
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193. No.
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194. You thinking about trying
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195. it?
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196. No.
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197. What's the farthest you ever
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198. got with a girl?
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199. Second base.
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200. For me, second base is
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201. anal.
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202. You know, I just mixed some
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203. pretzels with grapes.
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204. With grapes!
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205. I do that, too!
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206. Really?
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207. It's not bad!
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208. You got a combination of
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209. like peanut butter and jelly
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210. sandwich.
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211. Shhhh.
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212. Too loud.
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213. Yeah.
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214. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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215. You like that?
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216. There's more.
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217. You ever, um, sign up on,
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218. um, like boingo wireless when
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219. you're at the airport?
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220. It's unreliable, man.
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221. It is.
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222. It's just shoddy service.
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223. That dude, whoever owns
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224. boingo, got a boat.
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225. Probably.
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226. Let's dance for a little
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227. bit.
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228. It's raining ranch!
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229. Hey, bro, my boys are trying to
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230. start a bobsled group.
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231. By accident took a shortcut
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232. through the aquarium.
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233. Straight like three
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234. dolphins, dude.
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235. 'Cause they're some of the
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236. smartest animals.
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237. You know what I'm saying?
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238. What do you guys do for a
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239. living?
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240. You look like really chill
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241. bros.
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242. You guys watch inventors?
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243. This is my business partner
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244. right dude here.
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245. Right dude here!
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246. You guys gonna sign us or
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247. what?
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248. Yeah, you guys gotta sign us,
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249. dude.
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250. Bang, go, go, gang, go, go,
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251. gang, go, go, gang, go, go.
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252. Y'all pay taxes or you guys
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253. straight off the grid?
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254. Ranch me, mulatto.
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255. Ladies and gentlemen,
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256. Mac DeMarco.
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257. her and me were meant to be
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258. now it's time for attack
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259. DeMarco!
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260. Go-ka-kee!
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