The Eric Andre Show 2x9

Directed by

Chance the Rapper as Self • Ahmir-Khalib Thompson as Self • Henry Rollins as Self

Chance The Rapper and Mel B are interviewed. Musical guests Questlove and Henry Rollins.

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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IT'S "THE ERIC ANDRE SHOW"!

2. "THE ERIC ANDRE SHOW"!

3. AHH, MM. MMMM.

4. MAN, SO, UM... NORTH KOREA'S DEVELOPING NUKES.

5. MAN, SO, UM... NORTH KOREA'S DEVELOPING NUKES. HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT THIS?

6. NORTH KOREA'S DEVELOPING NUKES. HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT THIS?

7. HAVE YOU HEARD ABOUT THIS? YEAH.

8. YEAH. WHAT'S NEXT — SOUTH KOREA

9. YEAH. WHAT'S NEXT — SOUTH KOREA DEVELOPING JUKES?

10. WHAT'S NEXT — SOUTH KOREA DEVELOPING JUKES? I'M TALKIN' JUKEBOXES, BABY.

11. PEOPLE ♪ ♪ ON THE EARTH ♪ ♪ HUGGIN' AND A-KISSIN' AND

12. SHARIN' PIZZA ♪ TAKE IT AWAY, RUSSELL BRAND! [ SOUR, TWANGY NOTES PLAY ]

13. OH I'M SO SORRY.

14. MY NEXT GUEST IS A RAPPER FROM CHICAGO. PLEASE WELCOME CHANCE.

15. CHICAGO. PLEASE WELCOME CHANCE.

16. PLEASE WELCOME CHANCE.

17. HOW DID YOU — HOW DID YOU GET YOUR START? WHAT WAS YOUR — WHAT WAS YOUR

18. YOUR START? WHAT WAS YOUR — WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST BIG BREAK?

19. WHAT WAS YOUR — WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST BIG BREAK? 'CAUSE YOU'RE — YOU'RE —

20. FIRST BIG BREAK? 'CAUSE YOU'RE — YOU'RE — YOU'RE — YOU'RE AN

21. 'CAUSE YOU'RE — YOU'RE — YOU'RE — YOU'RE AN UP-AND-COMING GUY...

22. YOU'RE — YOU'RE AN UP-AND-COMING GUY... YO.

23. UP-AND-COMING GUY... YO. UM...

24. YO. UM... QUESTLOVE'S IN THE HOUSE.

25. UM... QUESTLOVE'S IN THE HOUSE. I WAS REALLY CONFUSED AT

26. QUESTLOVE'S IN THE HOUSE. I WAS REALLY CONFUSED AT FIRST...

27. I WAS REALLY CONFUSED AT FIRST... AND THEN REALLY HAPPY FOR A

28. FIRST... AND THEN REALLY HAPPY FOR A SECOND.

29. AND THEN REALLY HAPPY FOR A SECOND. I FEEL LIKE PEOPLE, AT TI—

30. SECOND. I FEEL LIKE PEOPLE, AT TI— LIKE, PEOPLE — AT TIME —

31. I FEEL LIKE PEOPLE, AT TI— LIKE, PEOPLE — AT TIME — SHUT UP!

32. LIKE, PEOPLE — AT TIME — SHUT UP!

33. SHUT UP! SHUT UP.

34. SHUT UP. YOU THINK I COULD GET A

35. YOU THINK I COULD GET A LITTLE BIT OF COFFEE?

36. YOU THINK I COULD GET A LITTLE BIT OF COFFEE? YEAH. MM-HMM.

37. LITTLE BIT OF COFFEE? YEAH. MM-HMM. THANKS.

38. HEY. Q-QUESTLOVE'S IN THE HOUSE.

39. Q-QUESTLOVE'S IN THE HOUSE. QUESTLOVE, YOU'RE NOT IN THE

40. QUESTLOVE, YOU'RE NOT IN THE HOUSE.

41. QUESTLOVE, YOU'RE NOT IN THE HOUSE.

42. HOUSE. HEY, QUESTLOVE'S IN THE

43. HEY, QUESTLOVE'S IN THE HOUSE.

44. HEY, QUESTLOVE'S IN THE HOUSE. QUESTLOVE, YOU'RE NOT IN THE

45. HOUSE. QUESTLOVE, YOU'RE NOT IN THE HOUSE.

46. QUESTLOVE, YOU'RE NOT IN THE HOUSE.

47. HOUSE. YOU'RE NOWHERE.

48. QUESTLOVE... I'M YOUR FATHER.

49. EVANGELOS.

50. NOT A LOT OF PEOPLE KNOW THIS, BUT L. RON HUBBARD WAS A

51. NOT A LOT OF PEOPLE KNOW THIS, BUT L. RON HUBBARD WAS A BLACK MAN.

52. THIS, BUT L. RON HUBBARD WAS A BLACK MAN. TRUTH!

53. BLACK MAN. TRUTH! HIS REAL NAME WAS

54. TRUTH! HIS REAL NAME WAS L. RON HOYABEMBE!

55. HIS REAL NAME WAS L. RON HOYABEMBE! WHO DO WE WANT?

56. L. RON HOYABEMBE! WHO DO WE WANT? XENU!

57. WHO DO WE WANT? XENU! WHEN DO WE WANT HIM?

58. XENU! WHEN DO WE WANT HIM? 10 TRILLION YEARS!

59. WHEN DO WE WANT HIM? 10 TRILLION YEARS! [ MEGAPHONE CHIRPS

60. 10 TRILLION YEARS! [ MEGAPHONE CHIRPS RHYTHMICALLY ]

61. [ MEGAPHONE CHIRPS RHYTHMICALLY ] THIS SOUNDS LIKE A DIPLO

62. RHYTHMICALLY ] THIS SOUNDS LIKE A DIPLO SONG!

63. THIS SOUNDS LIKE A DIPLO SONG! [ MEGAPHONE CHIRPS

64. SONG! [ MEGAPHONE CHIRPS RHYTHMICALLY ]

65. [ MEGAPHONE CHIRPS RHYTHMICALLY ] L. RON HUBBARD IS THE TRUE

66. RHYTHMICALLY ] L. RON HUBBARD IS THE TRUE GOD.

67. L. RON HUBBARD IS THE TRUE GOD. BLACK!

68. GOD. BLACK! THERE IS NO HELL.

69. BLACK! THERE IS NO HELL. THERE IS NO —

70. THERE IS NO HELL. THERE IS NO — NO!

71. THERE IS NO — NO! NO? IS THAT WHAT WE...

72. NO! NO? IS THAT WHAT WE... IS THAT — IS THAT PART OF

73. NO? IS THAT WHAT WE... IS THAT — IS THAT PART OF OUR BELIEF SYSTEM?

74. IS THAT — IS THAT PART OF OUR BELIEF SYSTEM? HELL, YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.

75. OUR BELIEF SYSTEM? HELL, YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. NO HELL.

76. HELL, YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. NO HELL. YEAH.

77. NO HELL. YEAH. "BATTLEFIELD EARTH" SHOULD

78. YEAH. "BATTLEFIELD EARTH" SHOULD HAVE BEEN A TYLER PERRY MOVIE!

79. "BATTLEFIELD EARTH" SHOULD HAVE BEEN A TYLER PERRY MOVIE! THAT'S RIGHT!

80. PROVE IT! TAKE A POOP IN FRONT OF US! AND THEN TURN IT INTO WINE.

81. TAKE A POOP IN FRONT OF US! AND THEN TURN IT INTO WINE. TURN THAT POOP INTO WINE.

82. AND THEN TURN IT INTO WINE. TURN THAT POOP INTO WINE. TURN

83. TURN THAT POOP INTO WINE. TURN THAT POOP INTO WINE!

84. TURN THAT POOP INTO WINE! TURN THAT POOP INTO WINE!

85. THAT POOP INTO WINE! TURN THAT POOP INTO WINE! TURN THAT POOP INTO WINE!

86. TURN THAT POOP INTO WINE! TURN THAT POOP INTO WINE! [ MEGAPHONE CHIRPS

87. TURN THAT POOP INTO WINE! [ MEGAPHONE CHIRPS RHYTHMICALLY ]

88. [ MEGAPHONE CHIRPS RHYTHMICALLY ] TURN THAT POOP INTO WINE!

89. SHUT THE UP! NO, TH— NO, YOU CAN'T SPREAD — YOU CAN'T SPREAD HAND

90. NO, TH— NO, YOU CAN'T SPREAD — YOU CAN'T SPREAD HAND CANCER TO YOUR DICK.

91. SPREAD — YOU CAN'T SPREAD HAND CANCER TO YOUR DICK. NO.

92. CANCER TO YOUR DICK. NO.

93. NO. THIS NEXT GUEST, YOU KNOW

94. THIS NEXT GUEST, YOU KNOW FROM THE SPICE GIRLS.

95. THIS NEXT GUEST, YOU KNOW FROM THE SPICE GIRLS. SHE'S NOW ON

96. FROM THE SPICE GIRLS. SHE'S NOW ON "AMERICA'S GOT TALENT."

97. SHE'S NOW ON "AMERICA'S GOT TALENT." PLEASE GIVE IT UP FOR MEL B.!

98. "AMERICA'S GOT TALENT." PLEASE GIVE IT UP FOR MEL B.!

99. PLEASE GIVE IT UP FOR MEL B.!

100. WHAT'S THIS STUFF? UH, WHO KNOWS?

101. WHAT'S THIS STUFF? UH, WHO KNOWS? WE JUST KNEW — IF YOU WANTED —

102. UH, WHO KNOWS? WE JUST KNEW — IF YOU WANTED — STRAWBERRIES AND HAM.

103. WE JUST KNEW — IF YOU WANTED — STRAWBERRIES AND HAM. YEAH, IF YOU WANTED THAT...

104. STRAWBERRIES AND HAM. YEAH, IF YOU WANTED THAT... I DON'T WANT STRAWBERRIES AND

105. YEAH, IF YOU WANTED THAT... I DON'T WANT STRAWBERRIES AND HAM.

106. I DON'T WANT STRAWBERRIES AND HAM. YOU WANT SOME FUNYUNS?

107. HAM. YOU WANT SOME FUNYUNS? I'LL HAVE A FUNYUN.

108. YOU WANT SOME FUNYUNS? I'LL HAVE A FUNYUN. YEAH?

109. I'LL HAVE A FUNYUN. YEAH? YEAH.

110. YEAH? YEAH. ALL RIGHT.

111. YEAH. ALL RIGHT.

112. MMM. MORE? MM?

113. MORE? MM? Didn't she die?

114. MM? Didn't she die? FEED ME ONE.

115. UH, DO YOU THINK MARGARET THATCHER HAD GIRL POWER?

116. MARGARET THATCHER HAD GIRL POWER? YES, OF COURSE.

117. POWER? YES, OF COURSE. DO YOU THINK SHE EFFECTIVELY

118. YES, OF COURSE. DO YOU THINK SHE EFFECTIVELY UTILIZED GIRL POWER BY

119. DO YOU THINK SHE EFFECTIVELY UTILIZED GIRL POWER BY FUNNELING MONEY TO ILLEGAL

120. UTILIZED GIRL POWER BY FUNNELING MONEY TO ILLEGAL PARAMILITARY DEATH SQUADS IN

121. FUNNELING MONEY TO ILLEGAL PARAMILITARY DEATH SQUADS IN NORTHERN IRELAND?

122. PARAMILITARY DEATH SQUADS IN NORTHERN IRELAND? I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT,

123. NORTHERN IRELAND? I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT, BUT...

124. I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT, BUT... HELP ME OUT.

125. BUT... HELP ME OUT. DON'T JUST STAND THERE.

126. HELP ME OUT. DON'T JUST STAND THERE. HELP ME OUT.

127. DON'T JUST STAND THERE. HELP ME OUT.

128. HELP ME OUT. ANSWER THE QUESTION.

129. ANSWER THE QUESTION. WHAT'S THAT?

130. ANSWER THE QUESTION. WHAT'S THAT? OH, MY GOD!

131. WHAT'S THAT? OH, MY GOD! YOU'RE ALL NUTS.

132. OH, MY GOD! YOU'RE ALL NUTS. YEAH, WHAT'S UP?

133. YOU'RE ALL NUTS. YEAH, WHAT'S UP? HAVE YOU EVER HAD A THREE-WAY

134. YEAH, WHAT'S UP? HAVE YOU EVER HAD A THREE-WAY WITH EDDIE MURPHY AND ANOTHER

135. HAVE YOU EVER HAD A THREE-WAY WITH EDDIE MURPHY AND ANOTHER GUY?

136. WITH EDDIE MURPHY AND ANOTHER GUY? OH, MY GOD!

137. GUY? OH, MY GOD! LORD KNOWS I HAVE.

138. OH, MY GOD! LORD KNOWS I HAVE. NO!

139. LORD KNOWS I HAVE. NO! WHAT — NOW — NOW, YOU —

140. NO! WHAT — NOW — NOW, YOU — WHA— WHAT RACE IS YOUR HUSBAND?

141. WHAT — NOW — NOW, YOU — WHA— WHAT RACE IS YOUR HUSBAND? YOU DATE THE BROTHERS

142. WHA— WHAT RACE IS YOUR HUSBAND? YOU DATE THE BROTHERS EXCLUSIVELY, OR YOU JUST

143. YOU DATE THE BROTHERS EXCLUSIVELY, OR YOU JUST REGULATE EVERY SHADE?

144. EXCLUSIVELY, OR YOU JUST REGULATE EVERY SHADE? MY HUSBAND...

145. REGULATE EVERY SHADE? MY HUSBAND...

146. MY HUSBAND... IS THE SAME MIX AS I AM.

147. IS THE SAME MIX AS I AM. WE HAVE —

148. IS THE SAME MIX AS I AM. WE HAVE — I WANT TO TALK ABOUT

149. WE HAVE — I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE SPICE GIRLS!

150. I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE SPICE GIRLS! I WANT TO TALK ABOUT

151. THE SPICE GIRLS! I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE SPICE GIRLS.

152. I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE SPICE GIRLS. I WAS JUST SPEAKING TO GERI

153. THE SPICE GIRLS. I WAS JUST SPEAKING TO GERI BEFORE I ARRIVED HERE.

154. I WAS JUST SPEAKING TO GERI BEFORE I ARRIVED HERE. GERI IS, UH, GINGER SPICE.

155. BEFORE I ARRIVED HERE. GERI IS, UH, GINGER SPICE. CORRECT.

156. GERI IS, UH, GINGER SPICE. CORRECT. OH, MY GOD.

157. CORRECT. OH, MY GOD. YOU ACTUALLY KNOW THAT.

158. OH, MY GOD. YOU ACTUALLY KNOW THAT. I KNOW Y'ALL'S STUFF.

159. YOU ACTUALLY KNOW THAT. I KNOW Y'ALL'S STUFF. Y'ALL HAD SOME HITS.

160. I KNOW Y'ALL'S STUFF. Y'ALL HAD SOME HITS. NOW, RANK YOUR CHILDREN FROM

161. Y'ALL HAD SOME HITS. NOW, RANK YOUR CHILDREN FROM CHILLEST TO LAMEST.

162. NOW, RANK YOUR CHILDREN FROM CHILLEST TO LAMEST. WHO'S THE KID THAT YOU'RE LIKE,

163. CHILLEST TO LAMEST. WHO'S THE KID THAT YOU'RE LIKE, "OY VEY"?

164. WHO'S THE KID THAT YOU'RE LIKE, "OY VEY"? DO YOU HAVE BABIES?

165. "OY VEY"? DO YOU HAVE BABIES? UH, NO.

166. DO YOU HAVE BABIES? UH, NO. I DON'T — I HAVEN'T SPRAYED MY

167. UH, NO. I DON'T — I HAVEN'T SPRAYED MY DNA INSIDE ANYONE.

168. I DON'T — I HAVEN'T SPRAYED MY DNA INSIDE ANYONE. EWW!

169. DNA INSIDE ANYONE. EWW! I'VE BEEN WRAPPING IT UP.

170. EWW! I'VE BEEN WRAPPING IT UP. OH, MY GOD.

171. I'VE BEEN WRAPPING IT UP. OH, MY GOD. HOW CAN YOU SAY IT LIKE THAT?

172. OH, MY GOD. HOW CAN YOU SAY IT LIKE THAT? NO, NO, NO. I PULL OUT.

173. HOW CAN YOU SAY IT LIKE THAT? NO, NO, NO. I PULL OUT. I PULL OUT. I PULL OUT.

174. NO, NO, NO. I PULL OUT. I PULL OUT. I PULL OUT. OH, MY GOD!

175. I PULL OUT. I PULL OUT. OH, MY GOD! NO, NO, NO.

176. OH, MY GOD! NO, NO, NO. I JUST FINISH ON A GIRL'S

177. NO, NO, NO. I JUST FINISH ON A GIRL'S STOMACH.

178. I JUST FINISH ON A GIRL'S STOMACH. I'M JUST, LIKE, A CLASSY G—

179. STOMACH. I'M JUST, LIKE, A CLASSY G— OH, MY GOD!

180. I'M JUST, LIKE, A CLASSY G— OH, MY GOD! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.

181. OH, MY GOD! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. I'M NOT SAYING IT IN A NASTY

182. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. I'M NOT SAYING IT IN A NASTY WAY.

183. I'M NOT SAYING IT IN A NASTY WAY. THAT'S JUST —

184. WAY. THAT'S JUST — THAT IS IN A NASTY WAY.

185. THAT'S JUST — THAT IS IN A NASTY WAY. LADIES —

186. THAT IS IN A NASTY WAY. LADIES — YOU'VE GOT SOME LOVELY LADIES

187. LADIES — YOU'VE GOT SOME LOVELY LADIES HERE.

188. YOU'VE GOT SOME LOVELY LADIES HERE. ISN'T THAT IN A NASTY WAY?

189. HERE. ISN'T THAT IN A NASTY WAY? NO, NO, NO.

190. ISN'T THAT IN A NASTY WAY? NO, NO, NO. ARE THEY TOLD NOT TO COMMENT?

191. NO, NO, NO. ARE THEY TOLD NOT TO COMMENT? HAVE YOU EVER PULLED DOWN A

192. ARE THEY TOLD NOT TO COMMENT? HAVE YOU EVER PULLED DOWN A GUY'S PANTS AND HE JUST HAD,

193. HAVE YOU EVER PULLED DOWN A GUY'S PANTS AND HE JUST HAD, LIKE, A LITTLE PINKIE, AND YOU

194. GUY'S PANTS AND HE JUST HAD, LIKE, A LITTLE PINKIE, AND YOU WERE LIKE, "BUH-BYE"?

195. LIKE, A LITTLE PINKIE, AND YOU WERE LIKE, "BUH-BYE"? IF YOU WANNA BE MY LOVER, YOU

196. WERE LIKE, "BUH-BYE"? IF YOU WANNA BE MY LOVER, YOU GOT TO TAKE SOME GROWTH HORMONES

197. IF YOU WANNA BE MY LOVER, YOU GOT TO TAKE SOME GROWTH HORMONES OR SOMETHING.

198. GOT TO TAKE SOME GROWTH HORMONES OR SOMETHING. REALLY?

199. OR SOMETHING. REALLY? THIS IS WHAT I'M WORKING WITH?

200. REALLY? THIS IS WHAT I'M WORKING WITH? REALLY?

201. [ HIP-HOP BEAT PLAYS ] PLEASE WELCOME RAPPER CURREN$Y!

202. OH.

203. MY CAREER IS OFFICIALLY OVER.

204. MY CAREER IS OFFICIALLY OVER. UH...

205. UH... MEL B., EVERYBODY! MEL B.!

206. UH... MEL B., EVERYBODY! MEL B.! THANK YOU.

207. MEL B., EVERYBODY! MEL B.! THANK YOU.

208. OH!

209. OH! YOU BROKE MY LAPTOP!

210. OH! YOU BROKE MY LAPTOP! SIR, YOU BRO—

211. YOU BROKE MY LAPTOP! SIR, YOU BRO— YOU BROKE MY LAPTOP! SIR?

212. YOU BRO— YOU BROKE MY LAPTOP! YOU BROKE MY LAPTOP, SIR!

213. YOU BROKE MY LAPTOP! YOU BROKE MY LAPTOP, SIR! SIR, YOU'RE MY LEADER!

214. YOU BROKE MY LAPTOP, SIR! SIR, YOU'RE MY LEADER! YOU'RE OUR LEADER!

215. OH, JESUS. DANG IT.

216. OH, JESUS. DANG IT. SORRY.

217. DANG IT. SORRY.

218. SORRY. SORRY.

219. SORRY. YOU'RE LUCKY AS

220. SORRY. YOU'RE LUCKY AS YOU'RE ALIVE SUCKER.

221. YOU'RE LUCKY AS YOU'RE ALIVE SUCKER. YOU WANT THIS OTHER ONE?

222. YOU'RE ALIVE SUCKER. YOU WANT THIS OTHER ONE? WANT THEM IN YOUR FACE?

223. YOU WANT THIS OTHER ONE? WANT THEM IN YOUR FACE? YOU WANT THEM IN YOUR

224. WANT THEM IN YOUR FACE? YOU WANT THEM IN YOUR FACE?

225. YOU WANT THEM IN YOUR FACE? TAKE BOTH.

226. FACE? TAKE BOTH. GET THE AWAY FROM ME!

227. TAKE BOTH. GET THE AWAY FROM ME!

228. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY FINAL GUEST OF THE EVENING, HENRY ROLLINS!

229. FINAL GUEST OF THE EVENING, HENRY ROLLINS!

230. WHAT IS THIS PLACE?

231. FROZEN... YOGURT.

232. FROZEN? I PUT MY FINGER IN IT!

233. I PUT MY FINGER IN IT! IT WAS COLD!

234. IT WAS COLD! BUT IT WASN'T FROZEN!

235. IT WAS COLD! BUT IT WASN'T FROZEN!

236. BUT IT WASN'T FROZEN! WHY...

237. WHY... DO YOU LIE TO ME?

238. WHY... DO YOU LIE TO ME? THE SIGN SAYS...

239. DO YOU LIE TO ME? THE SIGN SAYS... "FROZEN YOGURT"!

240. THE SIGN SAYS... "FROZEN YOGURT"! I WANT IT... COLD!

241. "FROZEN YOGURT"! I WANT IT... COLD! YOU'RE IN JER'S WORLD NOW,

242. I WANT IT... COLD! YOU'RE IN JER'S WORLD NOW, BABY!

243. YOU'RE IN JER'S WORLD NOW, BABY! AND HARD, LIKE ICE!

244. BABY! AND HARD, LIKE ICE!

245. AND HARD, LIKE ICE! I WANT WHAT I PAID FOR!

246. JESUS AND BABY JESUS HELP US ALL, LORD.

247. JESUS HELP US ALL, LORD.

248. [ DAP! ] I'LL SUCK ALL YOUR AT

249. [ DAP! ] I'LL SUCK ALL YOUR AT GUNPOINT FOR 25 CENTS.

250. I'LL SUCK ALL YOUR AT GUNPOINT FOR 25 CENTS.

251. GUNPOINT FOR 25 CENTS. HEY, GET THOSE DOGS AWAY FROM

252. HEY, GET THOSE DOGS AWAY FROM ME!

253. HEY, GET THOSE DOGS AWAY FROM ME! GET THOSE DAMN ROTTWEILERS

254. ME! GET THOSE DAMN ROTTWEILERS AWAY FROM ME!

255. GET THOSE DAMN ROTTWEILERS AWAY FROM ME! OH, GOD.

256. AWAY FROM ME! OH, GOD.

257. OH, GOD. WHEW, IT STINKS.

258. WHEW, IT STINKS. ♪ HE KNOWS WHEN YOU'VE BEEN

259. I WANT YOU TO MY WIFE. EVERY NIGHT, I'LL DO IT!