The Eric Andre Show 2x5

1. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IT'S "THE ERIC ANDRE SHOW"!

2. "THE ERIC ANDRE SHOW"!

3. OH, HEY, WE GOT T-PAIN IN THE

4. BUILDING TONIGHT!

5. HOW YOU DOING, T-PAIN? SWEET! SWEET!

6. SWEET! SWEET!

7. SWEET!

8. AAH!

9. AAH! AAH!

10. AAH! AAH!

11. AAH! TOUCH THE BIBLE, SON!

12. TOUCH THE BIBLE, SON! TOUCH THE BIBLE!

13. TOUCH THE BIBLE, SON! TOUCH THE BIBLE! SAY GOODBYE TO THE DEVIL!

14. TOUCH THE BIBLE! SAY GOODBYE TO THE DEVIL!

15. SAY GOODBYE TO THE DEVIL!

16. THAT'S ALL I HAVE —

17. THAT'S ALL I HAVE — DO A MONOLOGUE, MAN.

18. THAT'S ALL I HAVE — DO A MONOLOGUE, MAN. [ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING ]

19. DO A MONOLOGUE, MAN. [ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING ]

20. [ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING ] OH!

21. OH! OKAY.

22. OH! OKAY. SO, UM...

23. OKAY. SO, UM... LINDSAY LOHAN IS IN THE NEWS,

24. SO, UM... LINDSAY LOHAN IS IN THE NEWS, HUH?

25. LINDSAY LOHAN IS IN THE NEWS, HUH?

26. HUH? HEARD ABOUT THIS?

27. HEARD ABOUT THIS? LINDSAY LOHAN IS IN THE NEWS.

28. HEARD ABOUT THIS? LINDSAY LOHAN IS IN THE NEWS. YEAH.

29. LINDSAY LOHAN IS IN THE NEWS. YEAH. SO, I WAS SAYING TO MYSELF,

30. YEAH. SO, I WAS SAYING TO MYSELF, "LINDSAY LOHAN MUST BE IN THE

31. SO, I WAS SAYING TO MYSELF, "LINDSAY LOHAN MUST BE IN THE NEWS."

32. "LINDSAY LOHAN MUST BE IN THE NEWS."

33. NEWS." AGAIN! YO.

34. AGAIN! YO. LINDSAY LOHAN IS IN THE —

35. AGAIN! YO. LINDSAY LOHAN IS IN THE —

36. LINDSAY LOHAN IS IN THE — HEY!

37. HEY! THAT'S WHERE IT'S AT.

38. ♪ LINDSAY LOHAN'S IN THE NEWS ♪

39. ♪ LINDSAY LOHAN IS ♪ ♪ WAAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH,

40. UH, CAN YOU HELP ME? HEY, CAN YOU — CAN YOU HELP ME

41. UH, CAN YOU HELP ME? HEY, CAN YOU — CAN YOU HELP ME OUT?

42. HEY, CAN YOU — CAN YOU HELP ME OUT? CAN YOU HELP ME PICK MY PANTS

43. OUT? CAN YOU HELP ME PICK MY PANTS UP, PLEASE?

44. CAN YOU HELP ME PICK MY PANTS UP, PLEASE? IF YOU COULD JUST HELP ME PUT MY

45. UP, PLEASE? IF YOU COULD JUST HELP ME PUT MY FOOT OVER THE CUFFS.

46. IF YOU COULD JUST HELP ME PUT MY FOOT OVER THE CUFFS. CAN YOU HELP ME?

47. FOOT OVER THE CUFFS. CAN YOU HELP ME? CAN YOU STOP PUTTING ME ON

48. CAN YOU HELP ME? CAN YOU STOP PUTTING ME ON INSTAGRAM AND JUST — CAN YOU

49. CAN YOU STOP PUTTING ME ON INSTAGRAM AND JUST — CAN YOU FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM?

50. IT'S A LONG STORY.

51. I CAN'T GET INTO IT RIGHT NOW,

52. BUT I NEED HELP.

53. $30.

54. MAN, WHERE ARE YOUR KEYS AT?

55. TOUCH ME, TOUCH ME.

56. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, YOU REMEMBER HIM FROM

57. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, YOU REMEMBER HIM FROM "DAWSON'S CREEK."

58. REMEMBER HIM FROM "DAWSON'S CREEK." GOT A NEW MOVIE OUT CALLED

59. "DAWSON'S CREEK." GOT A NEW MOVIE OUT CALLED "LABOR DAY."

60. GOT A NEW MOVIE OUT CALLED "LABOR DAY." PLEASE WELCOME

61. "LABOR DAY." PLEASE WELCOME JAMES VAN DER BEEK!

62. WHO THAT? WELCOME.

63. WHO THAT? WELCOME. DID YOU WANT TO SIT DOWN OR

64. WELCOME. DID YOU WANT TO SIT DOWN OR SOMETHING?

65. DID YOU WANT TO SIT DOWN OR SOMETHING? NAH, I'M GOOD.

66. SOMETHING? NAH, I'M GOOD. THIS IS WHERE — THIS IS MY —

67. NAH, I'M GOOD. THIS IS WHERE — THIS IS MY — WE CAN — WE CAN SHARE.

68. THIS IS WHERE — THIS IS MY — WE CAN — WE CAN SHARE. I CAN —

69. WE CAN — WE CAN SHARE. I CAN — THIS IS MY, UH...

70. I CAN — THIS IS MY, UH... YOU CAN HAVE AN ARM RIGHT

71. THIS IS MY, UH... YOU CAN HAVE AN ARM RIGHT THERE IF YOU WANT.

72. YOU CAN HAVE AN ARM RIGHT THERE IF YOU WANT.

73. THERE IF YOU WANT. NAH, THIS IS BEST RIGHT HERE.

74. NAH, THIS IS BEST RIGHT HERE. YOU SURE?

75. NAH, THIS IS BEST RIGHT HERE. YOU SURE? YEAH.

76. YOU SURE? YEAH. OKAY.

77. YEAH. OKAY. JUST FOR — YEAH.

78. OKAY. JUST FOR — YEAH.

79. JUST FOR — YEAH.

80. DUDE.

81. DUDE. NOW, YOU WERE IN, UM...

82. DUDE. NOW, YOU WERE IN, UM... NOW, YOU WERE IN "ANGUS."

83. NOW, YOU WERE IN, UM... NOW, YOU WERE IN "ANGUS." I WAS.

84. NOW, YOU WERE IN "ANGUS." I WAS. IT WAS A MUSICAL.

85. I WAS. IT WAS A MUSICAL. NO.

86. IT WAS A MUSICAL. NO. YOU GOT YOUR START IN A

87. NO. YOU GOT YOUR START IN A MUSICAL.

88. YOU GOT YOUR START IN A MUSICAL. I-I-I STARTED OUT DOING

89. MUSICAL. I-I-I STARTED OUT DOING THEATER WHEN I WAS —

90. I-I-I STARTED OUT DOING THEATER WHEN I WAS — "ANGUS."

91. THEATER WHEN I WAS — "ANGUS." YEAH, BUT THAT WAS A FILM

92. "ANGUS." YEAH, BUT THAT WAS A FILM THAT I DID AFTER I DID THEATER.

93. YEAH, BUT THAT WAS A FILM THAT I DID AFTER I DID THEATER.

94. THAT I DID AFTER I DID THEATER.

95. WHAT'S "ANGUS"?

96. WHAT'S "ANGUS"? ANGUS IS THE — THE BIOPIC

97. WHAT'S "ANGUS"? ANGUS IS THE — THE BIOPIC ABOUT THE — THE BEEF GUY.

98. ANGUS IS THE — THE BIOPIC ABOUT THE — THE BEEF GUY. REALLY?

99. ABOUT THE — THE BEEF GUY. REALLY? NO, IT'S — IT'S ABOUT A —

100. REALLY? NO, IT'S — IT'S ABOUT A — IT'S ABOUT A FAT KID.

101. NO, IT'S — IT'S ABOUT A — IT'S ABOUT A FAT KID. OH.

102. IT'S ABOUT A FAT KID. OH. THEY NAMED IT A TYPE OF BEEF.

103. OH. THEY NAMED IT A TYPE OF BEEF. HE MADE HIS OWN TYPE —

104. THEY NAMED IT A TYPE OF BEEF. HE MADE HIS OWN TYPE — CHARLIE TALBERT PLAYED ANGUS.

105. HE MADE HIS OWN TYPE — CHARLIE TALBERT PLAYED ANGUS. HE PLAYED ANGUS, BUT ANGUS —

106. CHARLIE TALBERT PLAYED ANGUS. HE PLAYED ANGUS, BUT ANGUS — AND KATHY BATES PLAYED HIS

107. HE PLAYED ANGUS, BUT ANGUS — AND KATHY BATES PLAYED HIS MOM.

108. AND KATHY BATES PLAYED HIS MOM. KATHY BATES.

109. MOM. KATHY BATES. IT WAS A PREQUEL TO "MISERY."

110. KATHY BATES. IT WAS A PREQUEL TO "MISERY." YOU EVER SEEN THAT MOVIE?

111. IT WAS A PREQUEL TO "MISERY." YOU EVER SEEN THAT MOVIE? IT WAS NOT A PREQUEL TO

112. YOU EVER SEEN THAT MOVIE? IT WAS NOT A PREQUEL TO "MISERY."

113. IT WAS NOT A PREQUEL TO "MISERY." BUT YOU SAW "MISERY," RIGHT?

114. "MISERY." BUT YOU SAW "MISERY," RIGHT? ACTUALLY, YEAH, I DID SEE

115. BUT YOU SAW "MISERY," RIGHT? ACTUALLY, YEAH, I DID SEE "MISERY."

116. ACTUALLY, YEAH, I DID SEE "MISERY." THANK YOU.

117. "MISERY." THANK YOU. SO NO FURTHER QUESTIONS.

118. THANK YOU. SO NO FURTHER QUESTIONS. NOW —

119. SO NO FURTHER QUESTIONS. NOW — CAN I TAKE MY JACKET OFF?

120. NOW — CAN I TAKE MY JACKET OFF? I'M HOT.

121. CAN I TAKE MY JACKET OFF? I'M HOT. GET COMFORTABLE. WHY NOT?

122. I'M HOT. GET COMFORTABLE. WHY NOT? ALL RIGHT.

123. GET COMFORTABLE. WHY NOT? ALL RIGHT.

124. ALL RIGHT. LADIES AND GENTLEMAN,

125. LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, STEVE-O.

126. LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, STEVE-O.

127. STEVE-O. YEAH.

128. NOW... DID YOU KILL THAT GIRL IN ARUBA?

129. BEAUTIFUL. LOVE IT, TAYLOR. FIND THE LIGHT. THANK YOU. CHIN DOWN.

130. LOVE IT, TAYLOR. FIND THE LIGHT. THANK YOU. CHIN DOWN. CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF IT.

131. THANK YOU. CHIN DOWN. CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF IT. YEAH, THAT IS IT.

132. CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF IT. YEAH, THAT IS IT. EXCELLENT. CHIN UP A LITTLE BIT.

133. YEAH, THAT IS IT. EXCELLENT. CHIN UP A LITTLE BIT. ALL RIGHT, BEAUTIFUL, TAYLOR.

134. EXCELLENT. CHIN UP A LITTLE BIT. ALL RIGHT, BEAUTIFUL, TAYLOR. BEAUTIFUL.

135. ALL RIGHT, BEAUTIFUL, TAYLOR. BEAUTIFUL. PAY THE TOLL!

136. BEAUTIFUL. PAY THE TOLL!

137. PAY THE TOLL!

138. IGNORE THEM, TAYLOR.

139. IGNORE THEM, TAYLOR. THEY DON'T DEFINE YOU.

140. IGNORE THEM, TAYLOR. THEY DON'T DEFINE YOU. REALLY, JUST EXPRESS YOURSELF.

141. AAAH!

142. AND WE ARE BACK WITH JAMES VAN DER BEEK. OKAY, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY

143. JAMES VAN DER BEEK. OKAY, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY NEXT GUEST, JAMES VAN DER BEEK.

144. OKAY, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY NEXT GUEST, JAMES VAN DER BEEK.

145. NEXT GUEST, JAMES VAN DER BEEK.

146. OKAY.

147. JAMES, WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO LATELY? WHAT'S HAPPENING?

148. BEEN UP TO LATELY? WHAT'S HAPPENING? WHAT'S HAPPENING?

149. WHAT'S HAPPENING? WHAT'S HAPPENING? TELL US YOUR FAVORITE

150. WHAT'S HAPPENING? TELL US YOUR FAVORITE STORY.

151. TELL US YOUR FAVORITE STORY. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO HEAR?

152. STORY. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO HEAR? WANT TO HEAR?

153. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO HEAR? WANT TO HEAR? JUST A NICE ANECDOTE

154. WANT TO HEAR? JUST A NICE ANECDOTE FROM SET.

155. JUST A NICE ANECDOTE FROM SET. WHAT SET?

156. FROM SET. WHAT SET? WHAT SET?

157. WHAT SET? WHAT SET? ANY SET, MAN.

158. WHAT SET? ANY SET, MAN. WHATEVER SET.

159. ANY SET, MAN. WHATEVER SET. WE WANT TO HEAR SHOW-BUSINESS

160. WHATEVER SET. WE WANT TO HEAR SHOW-BUSINESS STUFF.

161. WE WANT TO HEAR SHOW-BUSINESS STUFF. COME ON, JAMES.

162. STUFF. COME ON, JAMES. COME ON, MAN.

163. COME ON, JAMES. COME ON, MAN. WHY WON'T YOU TELL US ANYTHING?

164. COME ON, MAN. WHY WON'T YOU TELL US ANYTHING? THIS LIKE A FEVER DREAM.

165. WHY WON'T YOU TELL US ANYTHING? THIS LIKE A FEVER DREAM. DREAM.

166. THIS LIKE A FEVER DREAM. DREAM.

167. WHAT THE IS GOING ON RIGHT NOW?

168. ALL RIGHT, I APPRECIATE THE

169. OPPORTUNITY TO SPEAK TO YOU THIS

170. MORNING.

171. I'VE GOT FIVE ITEMS THAT I'D

172. LIKE TO DISCUSS REALLY QUICKLY.

173. AND A LOT OF TIMES, CARS ARE STILL OUT THERE AT 7:00, 7:30 AT

174. AND A LOT OF TIMES, CARS ARE STILL OUT THERE AT 7:00, 7:30 AT NIGHT, AND IT'S JUST A NIGHTMARE

175. STILL OUT THERE AT 7:00, 7:30 AT NIGHT, AND IT'S JUST A NIGHTMARE FOR US.

176. NIGHT, AND IT'S JUST A NIGHTMARE FOR US.

177. HEY, GUYS. VOTE FOR ME FOR CLASS PRESIDENT, AND I'LL PUT BEER IN THE WATER

178. VOTE FOR ME FOR CLASS PRESIDENT, AND I'LL PUT BEER IN THE WATER FOUNTAINS AND CAMERAS IN THE

179. AND I'LL PUT BEER IN THE WATER FOUNTAINS AND CAMERAS IN THE GIRLS' LOCKER ROOMS!

180. FOUNTAINS AND CAMERAS IN THE GIRLS' LOCKER ROOMS! WHOO!

181. GIRLS' LOCKER ROOMS! WHOO! GO, BOBCATS!

182. WHOO! GO, BOBCATS!

183. GO, BOBCATS! SIR, WOULD YOU PLEASE TAKE

184. SIR, WOULD YOU PLEASE TAKE YOUR SEAT?

185. SIR, WOULD YOU PLEASE TAKE YOUR SEAT? DON'T TASE ME, BRO.

186. YOUR SEAT? DON'T TASE ME, BRO.

187. SOMEBODY BETTER TELL ME WHAT

188. THE IS GOING ON REAL

189. SOON OR THERE'S GONNA BE

190. SOME HAPPENING IN HERE.

191. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

192. STEVE-O.

193. YEAH.

194. YEAH.

195. ALL RIGHT. WOW, THIS IS THE LEAST COMFORTABLE CHAIR I'VE EVER SAT

196. WOW, THIS IS THE LEAST COMFORTABLE CHAIR I'VE EVER SAT IN.

197. COMFORTABLE CHAIR I'VE EVER SAT IN. YEAH.

198. IN. YEAH. LET'S DISCUSS THE

199. YEAH. LET'S DISCUSS THE IMPLICATIONS OF THE FALLING

200. LET'S DISCUSS THE IMPLICATIONS OF THE FALLING PRICE OF GOLD ON THE GLOBAL

201. IMPLICATIONS OF THE FALLING PRICE OF GOLD ON THE GLOBAL ECONOMY.

202. PRICE OF GOLD ON THE GLOBAL ECONOMY. IT'S SCARY, MAN.

203. ECONOMY. IT'S SCARY, MAN. WE HAVEN'T HAD THE GOLD STANDARD

204. IT'S SCARY, MAN. WE HAVEN'T HAD THE GOLD STANDARD SINCE '71, '72.

205. WE HAVEN'T HAD THE GOLD STANDARD SINCE '71, '72. EVER SINCE THEN, THE AMERICAN

206. SINCE '71, '72. EVER SINCE THEN, THE AMERICAN DOLLAR HAS BEEN THE WORLD'S

207. EVER SINCE THEN, THE AMERICAN DOLLAR HAS BEEN THE WORLD'S RESERVE CURRENCY, MEANING THAT

208. DOLLAR HAS BEEN THE WORLD'S RESERVE CURRENCY, MEANING THAT IF CHINA'S GONNA BUY OIL FROM

209. RESERVE CURRENCY, MEANING THAT IF CHINA'S GONNA BUY OIL FROM SAUDI ARABIA, THEY HAVE TO DO

210. IF CHINA'S GONNA BUY OIL FROM SAUDI ARABIA, THEY HAVE TO DO THAT WITH AMERICAN DOLLARS.

211. SAUDI ARABIA, THEY HAVE TO DO THAT WITH AMERICAN DOLLARS. RIGHT.

212. THAT WITH AMERICAN DOLLARS. RIGHT. WE JUST SAW THIS BANKING

213. RIGHT. WE JUST SAW THIS BANKING CRISIS IN THIS TINY LITTLE

214. WE JUST SAW THIS BANKING CRISIS IN THIS TINY LITTLE COUNTRY CALLED CYPRUS, RIGHT?

215. CRISIS IN THIS TINY LITTLE COUNTRY CALLED CYPRUS, RIGHT?

216. COUNTRY CALLED CYPRUS, RIGHT? AND IT'S ONE OF THESE

217. AND IT'S ONE OF THESE BAILOUT SITUATIONS WHERE, YOU

218. AND IT'S ONE OF THESE BAILOUT SITUATIONS WHERE, YOU KNOW, FINALLY, THESE COUNTRIES

219. BAILOUT SITUATIONS WHERE, YOU KNOW, FINALLY, THESE COUNTRIES IN EUROPE, THEY SAID, "YOU KNOW

220. KNOW, FINALLY, THESE COUNTRIES IN EUROPE, THEY SAID, "YOU KNOW WHAT?

221. IN EUROPE, THEY SAID, "YOU KNOW WHAT? SCREW CYPRUS."

222. WHAT? SCREW CYPRUS." AND THE ONLY WAY THAT THEY CAN

223. SCREW CYPRUS." AND THE ONLY WAY THAT THEY CAN COME UP WITH THAT KIND OF MONEY

224. AND THE ONLY WAY THAT THEY CAN COME UP WITH THAT KIND OF MONEY IS TO ACTUALLY SELL THE GOLD

225. COME UP WITH THAT KIND OF MONEY IS TO ACTUALLY SELL THE GOLD THAT THEY HAVE IN THEIR CENTRAL

226. IS TO ACTUALLY SELL THE GOLD THAT THEY HAVE IN THEIR CENTRAL BANK.

227. THAT THEY HAVE IN THEIR CENTRAL BANK. AND SO, WHEN THEY DO THAT...

228. BANK. AND SO, WHEN THEY DO THAT... YOU KNOW, SHERYL CROW'S MY

229. AND SO, WHEN THEY DO THAT... YOU KNOW, SHERYL CROW'S MY MOM.

230. YOU KNOW, SHERYL CROW'S MY MOM. THAT CYPRUS IS SELLING MAY

231. MOM. THAT CYPRUS IS SELLING MAY NEVER SEE THE MARKET, BECAUSE

232. THAT CYPRUS IS SELLING MAY NEVER SEE THE MARKET, BECAUSE THEY'LL JUST GET BOUGHT UP BY

233. NEVER SEE THE MARKET, BECAUSE THEY'LL JUST GET BOUGHT UP BY CHINA.

234. THEY'LL JUST GET BOUGHT UP BY CHINA. AND THEN THE PARTY IS OVER.

235. CHINA. AND THEN THE PARTY IS OVER. WHAT'S THE FARTHEST YOU EVER

236. AND THEN THE PARTY IS OVER. WHAT'S THE FARTHEST YOU EVER GOT WITH A TRANNY?

237. WHAT'S THE FARTHEST YOU EVER GOT WITH A TRANNY? OH, MAN. FULL-ON BLOW JOB.

238. UH, CAN SOMEBODY HELP ME OUT HERE JUST FOR A SEC? JUST GET MY PANTS UP?

239. ALL RIGHT, HERE TONIGHT TO SHOW

240. US HOW TO COOK LIKE A PRO,

241. PLEASE WELCOME CHEF RORY SCOVEL.

242. THANK YOU.

243. SO, I'LL JUST START WITH YOUR BASIC — THIS IS YOUR ARTICHOKE. YOU'RE JUST REALLY FIGHTING TO

244. BASIC — THIS IS YOUR ARTICHOKE. YOU'RE JUST REALLY FIGHTING TO GET TO THE MIDDLE OF ABSOLUTELY

245. YOU'RE JUST REALLY FIGHTING TO GET TO THE MIDDLE OF ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

246. GET TO THE MIDDLE OF ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. SO WE'LL PUT THAT ON THE PLATE

247. NOTHING. SO WE'LL PUT THAT ON THE PLATE AND MOVE RIGHT INTO THE LETTUCE.

248. SO WE'LL PUT THAT ON THE PLATE AND MOVE RIGHT INTO THE LETTUCE. MAYBE THE LETTUCE DOESN'T HAVE

249. AND MOVE RIGHT INTO THE LETTUCE. MAYBE THE LETTUCE DOESN'T HAVE ANY FLAVOR TO IT.

250. MAYBE THE LETTUCE DOESN'T HAVE ANY FLAVOR TO IT. MAYBE THAT'S WHAT WE ARE, BUT

251. ANY FLAVOR TO IT. MAYBE THAT'S WHAT WE ARE, BUT THEN ONCE WE DIE, WE GET TO MEET

252. MAYBE THAT'S WHAT WE ARE, BUT THEN ONCE WE DIE, WE GET TO MEET GOD.

253. THEN ONCE WE DIE, WE GET TO MEET GOD. YOU WILL NOT.

254. GOD. YOU WILL NOT. IT'S NOT OUT THERE.

255. YOU WILL NOT. IT'S NOT OUT THERE.

256. IT'S NOT OUT THERE. ERIC, THERE'S PLENTY OF

257. ERIC, THERE'S PLENTY OF VEGETABLES.

258. ERIC, THERE'S PLENTY OF VEGETABLES. YOU COULD JUST EAT THE

259. VEGETABLES. YOU COULD JUST EAT THE VEGETABLES, BUT NO.

260. YOU COULD JUST EAT THE VEGETABLES, BUT NO. I HAVE TO KILL INNOCENT ANIMALS,

261. VEGETABLES, BUT NO. I HAVE TO KILL INNOCENT ANIMALS, OKAY?

262. I HAVE TO KILL INNOCENT ANIMALS, OKAY?

263. OKAY? NOW WE'RE GETTING INTO A NICE

264. NOW WE'RE GETTING INTO A NICE SIZZLE, WHICH IS WHAT EVERYONE

265. NOW WE'RE GETTING INTO A NICE SIZZLE, WHICH IS WHAT EVERYONE SAYS IS GOOD.

266. SIZZLE, WHICH IS WHAT EVERYONE SAYS IS GOOD. AND THAT MEANS IT'S GONNA TASTE

267. SAYS IS GOOD. AND THAT MEANS IT'S GONNA TASTE AMAZING.

268. AND THAT MEANS IT'S GONNA TASTE AMAZING. THERE IS NO GOD!

269. AMAZING. THERE IS NO GOD! ONCE WE DIE, THAT'S IT.

270. THERE IS NO GOD! ONCE WE DIE, THAT'S IT.

271. ONCE WE DIE, THAT'S IT. CHRIST!

272. CHRIST! AAAH!

273. CHRIST! AAAH!

274. AAAH! AAAH! YOU WHAT COOKING IS, ERIC?

275. AAAH! YOU WHAT COOKING IS, ERIC? IT'S PAIN!

276. AAAH! YOU WHAT COOKING IS, ERIC? IT'S PAIN!

277. IT'S PAIN! AH, JESUS!

278. AH, JESUS! GET THAT IN THERE.

279. AH, JESUS! GET THAT IN THERE.

280. GET THAT IN THERE. GOD!

281. GOD! OH, LOOK AT STUPID ME.

282. GOD! OH, LOOK AT STUPID ME.

283. OH, IT'S SO DELICIOUS!

284. OH, IT'S TASTY!

285. OH, WHO WANTS SOME PASTA?

286. YEAH, YEAH. ALL RIGHT.

287. GOD

288. CAN'T WAIT TO — CAN'T WAIT

289. TO TRY THAT AT HOME.