The Eric Andre Show 2x3

1. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IT'S "THE ERIC ANDRE SHOW"! AHHHHHHHHHHH! AHH!

2. IT'S "THE ERIC ANDRE SHOW"! AHHHHHHHHHHH! AHH!

3. AHHHHHHHHHHH! AHH! AHHHHHHHHH!

4. AHHHHHHHHH! AHHH!

5. AHHHHHHHHH! AHHH! UGH!

6. AHHH! UGH! AHHHHHH!

7. UGH! AHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHH!

8. AHHHH!

9. YAH!

10. ALL RIGHT. [ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING ]

11. [ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING ] YOU HEAR ABOUT THIS GUY —

12. YOU HEAR ABOUT THIS GUY — FREDERICK DOUGLASS?

13. YOU HEAR ABOUT THIS GUY — FREDERICK DOUGLASS?

14. FREDERICK DOUGLASS? YEAH, IT'S, LIKE, CALL ME WHEN

15. YEAH, IT'S, LIKE, CALL ME WHEN THERE'S A KIRK DOUGLAS.

16. YEAH, IT'S, LIKE, CALL ME WHEN THERE'S A KIRK DOUGLAS.

17. THERE'S A KIRK DOUGLAS. THERE IS A KIRK DOUGLAS.

18. THERE IS A KIRK DOUGLAS. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF THEY CALLED

19. THERE IS A KIRK DOUGLAS. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF THEY CALLED YOU AND SAID, "THERE IS A KIRK

20. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF THEY CALLED YOU AND SAID, "THERE IS A KIRK DOUGLAS"?

21. YOU AND SAID, "THERE IS A KIRK DOUGLAS"? THEN WHAT?

22. DOUGLAS"? THEN WHAT? PROBLEM SOLVED.

23. THEN WHAT? PROBLEM SOLVED. THAT'S IT?

24. PROBLEM SOLVED. THAT'S IT? THAT'S WHAT YOU WOULD SAY?

25. THAT'S IT? THAT'S WHAT YOU WOULD SAY? YEAH.

26. THAT'S WHAT YOU WOULD SAY? YEAH. ALL RIGHT. COOL.

27. YEAH. ALL RIGHT. COOL.

28. ALL RIGHT. COOL. SO, I WAS AT MY ACCOUNTANT'S

29. SO, I WAS AT MY ACCOUNTANT'S THE OTHER DAY AND —

30. SO, I WAS AT MY ACCOUNTANT'S THE OTHER DAY AND —

31. THE OTHER DAY AND — PLEASE DON'T.

32. PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME DO THIS.

33. THIS SUCKS, MAN.

34. HOW ABOUT THIS? YOU'RE FIRED. YOU COPY THAT? YOU'RE FIRED. YOU'RE HIRED.

35. YOU'RE FIRED. YOU COPY THAT? YOU'RE FIRED. YOU'RE HIRED. YOU'RE FIRED.

36. YOU'RE FIRED. YOU'RE HIRED. YOU'RE FIRED. DON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT THE

37. YOU'RE FIRED. DON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT THE S.E.C.

38. DON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT THE S.E.C. WELL, GET HIM ON THE PHONE.

39. S.E.C. WELL, GET HIM ON THE PHONE. I'M GOING TO GO BACK IN THAT

40. WELL, GET HIM ON THE PHONE. I'M GOING TO GO BACK IN THAT OFFICE AND RIP YOUR HEART OUT

41. I'M GOING TO GO BACK IN THAT OFFICE AND RIP YOUR HEART OUT LIKE I'M KANO FROM

42. OFFICE AND RIP YOUR HEART OUT LIKE I'M KANO FROM "MORTAL KOMBAT."

43. LIKE I'M KANO FROM "MORTAL KOMBAT." HOLD ON.

44. "MORTAL KOMBAT." HOLD ON. YEAH, MA, I'M GLUTEN-FREE NOW.

45. HOLD ON. YEAH, MA, I'M GLUTEN-FREE NOW. I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO STUCK HIS

46. YEAH, MA, I'M GLUTEN-FREE NOW. I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO STUCK HIS NECK OUT FOR BP.

47. I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO STUCK HIS NECK OUT FOR BP. I THINK ALL THOSE FISH IN THE

48. NECK OUT FOR BP. I THINK ALL THOSE FISH IN THE OCEAN DESERVE TO DIE.

49. I THINK ALL THOSE FISH IN THE OCEAN DESERVE TO DIE. UGH!

50. OCEAN DESERVE TO DIE. UGH! WELL, THEN BUY IT.

51. UGH! WELL, THEN BUY IT. WELL, THEN SELL IT.

52. WELL, THEN BUY IT. WELL, THEN SELL IT. I DON'T KNOW.

53. WELL, THEN SELL IT. I DON'T KNOW. UGH!

54. I DON'T KNOW. UGH! HOW OLD IS THIS COFFEE?

55. UGH! HOW OLD IS THIS COFFEE? I CAN'T DIGEST THIS SHIT.

56. HOW OLD IS THIS COFFEE? I CAN'T DIGEST THIS SHIT. I'M LACTOSE-INTOLERANT.

57. I CAN'T DIGEST THIS SHIT. I'M LACTOSE-INTOLERANT. DID YOU GET THE ABORTION YET?

58. I'M LACTOSE-INTOLERANT. DID YOU GET THE ABORTION YET? UGH!

59. DID YOU GET THE ABORTION YET? UGH! YOU DIDN'T GET THE ABORTION?

60. UGH! YOU DIDN'T GET THE ABORTION? WHAT AM I PAYING YOU FOR?

61. YOU DIDN'T GET THE ABORTION? WHAT AM I PAYING YOU FOR? SELL IT. JUST SELL IT.

62. WHAT AM I PAYING YOU FOR? SELL IT. JUST SELL IT. UGH!

63. SELL IT. JUST SELL IT. UGH! THOSE PRICES ARE FANTASTIC.

64. UGH! THOSE PRICES ARE FANTASTIC. WE'RE NOT GONNA DO BETTER

65. THOSE PRICES ARE FANTASTIC. WE'RE NOT GONNA DO BETTER THAN THAT.

66. WE'RE NOT GONNA DO BETTER THAN THAT. UGH!

67. THAN THAT. UGH! WHEE!

68. UGH! WHEE! ALL RIGHT!

69. WHEE! ALL RIGHT! MY NEXT GUEST — PLEASE WELCOME

70. ALL RIGHT! MY NEXT GUEST — PLEASE WELCOME THE ORIGINAL HULK...

71. MY NEXT GUEST — PLEASE WELCOME THE ORIGINAL HULK... LOU FERRIGNO!

72. EVEN WHEN YOU'RE IN A GOOD MOOD, YOU'RE TERRIFYING.

73. EVEN WHEN YOU'RE IN A GOOD MOOD, YOU'RE TERRIFYING. THERE YOU GO.

74. YOU'RE TERRIFYING. THERE YOU GO.

75. THERE YOU GO. WELL, WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO?

76. WELL, WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO? ME?

77. WELL, WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO? ME? I WAS ON THE

78. ME? I WAS ON THE "CELEBRITY APPRENTICE"

79. I WAS ON THE "CELEBRITY APPRENTICE" LAST YEAR.

80. "CELEBRITY APPRENTICE" LAST YEAR. YEAH, IT SEEMED LIKE YOU WERE

81. LAST YEAR. YEAH, IT SEEMED LIKE YOU WERE GETTING SHAFTED OVER THERE.

82. YEAH, IT SEEMED LIKE YOU WERE GETTING SHAFTED OVER THERE. I JUST — I KEPT MY HANDS IN

83. GETTING SHAFTED OVER THERE. I JUST — I KEPT MY HANDS IN MY POCKET.

84. I JUST — I KEPT MY HANDS IN MY POCKET. CONGRATS.

85. MY POCKET. CONGRATS.

86. CONGRATS. WHAT DO YOU THINK HAPPENS AFTER

87. WHAT DO YOU THINK HAPPENS AFTER YOU DIE?

88. WHAT DO YOU THINK HAPPENS AFTER YOU DIE? WELL, YOU GOT TO HOPE YOU GO

89. YOU DIE? WELL, YOU GOT TO HOPE YOU GO SOMEWHERE.

90. WELL, YOU GOT TO HOPE YOU GO SOMEWHERE. MM-HMM.

91. SOMEWHERE. MM-HMM. MAN, YOU'RE SHOVING THAT

92. MM-HMM. MAN, YOU'RE SHOVING THAT DOUGHNUT DOWN.

93. MAN, YOU'RE SHOVING THAT DOUGHNUT DOWN. YEAH.

94. DOUGHNUT DOWN. YEAH. I WANT TO GET TAXIDERMIED,

95. YEAH. I WANT TO GET TAXIDERMIED, HAVE THEM SAW MY TEETH INTO

96. I WANT TO GET TAXIDERMIED, HAVE THEM SAW MY TEETH INTO FANGS AND PUT COYOTE EYES IN MY

97. HAVE THEM SAW MY TEETH INTO FANGS AND PUT COYOTE EYES IN MY EYE SOCKETS AND BE MOUNTED LIKE

98. FANGS AND PUT COYOTE EYES IN MY EYE SOCKETS AND BE MOUNTED LIKE THIS IN THE SMITHSONIAN MUSEUM,

99. EYE SOCKETS AND BE MOUNTED LIKE THIS IN THE SMITHSONIAN MUSEUM, WITH A LITTLE PLAQUE THAT SAYS

100. THIS IN THE SMITHSONIAN MUSEUM, WITH A LITTLE PLAQUE THAT SAYS "A TALK SHOW HOST."

101. WITH A LITTLE PLAQUE THAT SAYS "A TALK SHOW HOST." WHY THE SMITHSONIAN?

102. "A TALK SHOW HOST." WHY THE SMITHSONIAN? 'CAUSE I FIGURE AFTER

103. WHY THE SMITHSONIAN? 'CAUSE I FIGURE AFTER WORLD WAR III, THERE WON'T BE

104. 'CAUSE I FIGURE AFTER WORLD WAR III, THERE WON'T BE TOO MANY TALK SHOWS, YO.

105. WORLD WAR III, THERE WON'T BE TOO MANY TALK SHOWS, YO. ALL RIGHT, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

106. TOO MANY TALK SHOWS, YO. ALL RIGHT, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY NEXT GUEST — PLEASE WELCOME

107. ALL RIGHT, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY NEXT GUEST — PLEASE WELCOME THE HULK!

108. HOW YOU DOING? WHAT'S HAPPENING?

109. HOW YOU DOING? WHAT'S HAPPENING? I'M GOOD.

110. WHAT'S HAPPENING? I'M GOOD. YOU LOOK FANTASTIC.

111. I'M GOOD. YOU LOOK FANTASTIC. OH, YES. THANK YOU.

112. YOU LOOK FANTASTIC. OH, YES. THANK YOU. WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO?

113. OH, YES. THANK YOU. WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO? YOU KNOW, JUST HANGING OUT,

114. WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO? YOU KNOW, JUST HANGING OUT, YOU KNOW, HANGING OUT, STAYING

115. YOU KNOW, JUST HANGING OUT, YOU KNOW, HANGING OUT, STAYING OUT OF TROUBLE, YOU KNOW,

116. YOU KNOW, HANGING OUT, STAYING OUT OF TROUBLE, YOU KNOW, JUST...

117. OUT OF TROUBLE, YOU KNOW, JUST... ONE TIME, 1:00 IN THE

118. JUST... ONE TIME, 1:00 IN THE MORNING, I WAS TIRED.

119. ONE TIME, 1:00 IN THE MORNING, I WAS TIRED. I WAS FILMING AS THE HULK.

120. MORNING, I WAS TIRED. I WAS FILMING AS THE HULK.

121. I WAS FILMING AS THE HULK. I DECIDED TO LEAVE MAKEUP ON,

122. I DECIDED TO LEAVE MAKEUP ON, AND THERE WAS A CAR DRIVING

123. I DECIDED TO LEAVE MAKEUP ON, AND THERE WAS A CAR DRIVING ALONG ME.

124. AND THERE WAS A CAR DRIVING ALONG ME. HE LOOKS AT ME AND HE SEES THE

125. ALONG ME. HE LOOKS AT ME AND HE SEES THE CAR AND HE CRASHED INTO THE CAR

126. HE LOOKS AT ME AND HE SEES THE CAR AND HE CRASHED INTO THE CAR IN FRONT OF HIM.

127. CAR AND HE CRASHED INTO THE CAR IN FRONT OF HIM. THEY'RE THINKING I'M SOME KIND

128. IN FRONT OF HIM. THEY'RE THINKING I'M SOME KIND OF DRAG QUEEN.

129. THEY'RE THINKING I'M SOME KIND OF DRAG QUEEN. WHO KNOWS?

130. OF DRAG QUEEN. WHO KNOWS?

131. WHO KNOWS? OH, MY GOD, THAT'S AMAZING.

132. OH, MY GOD, THAT'S AMAZING. DON'T GET MAKEUP ON MY ARM.

133. OH, MY GOD, THAT'S AMAZING. DON'T GET MAKEUP ON MY ARM. I'M ATTRACTED TO YOU.

134. DON'T GET MAKEUP ON MY ARM. I'M ATTRACTED TO YOU. DON'T DO IT.

135. I'M ATTRACTED TO YOU. DON'T DO IT. IT'LL BE A — BAD.

136. DON'T DO IT. IT'LL BE A — BAD. OKAY, DON'T GO ANY FURTHER.

137. IT'LL BE A — BAD. OKAY, DON'T GO ANY FURTHER. DO YOU SEE THIS SHIRT?

138. OKAY, DON'T GO ANY FURTHER. DO YOU SEE THIS SHIRT? IF YOU GET GREEN ON THAT

139. DO YOU SEE THIS SHIRT? IF YOU GET GREEN ON THAT SHIRT...

140. IF YOU GET GREEN ON THAT SHIRT... IT'S TENSE HERE, MAN.

141. SHIRT... IT'S TENSE HERE, MAN. OH, REALLY? IT —

142. IT'S TENSE HERE, MAN. OH, REALLY? IT — HEY, WE'RE ON TV.

143. OH, REALLY? IT — HEY, WE'RE ON TV. I'M NOT JOKING.

144. HEY, WE'RE ON TV. I'M NOT JOKING. DON'T GET CLOSER TO ME.

145. I'M NOT JOKING. DON'T GET CLOSER TO ME. OKAY?

146. DON'T GET CLOSER TO ME. OKAY? SO —

147. OKAY? SO — SO, WHAT, UH — WHAT —

148. SO — SO, WHAT, UH — WHAT — IF HE GETS CLOSER TO ME,

149. SO, WHAT, UH — WHAT — IF HE GETS CLOSER TO ME, I'M GONNA LEAVE.

150. IF HE GETS CLOSER TO ME, I'M GONNA LEAVE. OKAY.

151. SIT, HOOS. EXCUSE ME. MA'AM? SIR? SIR?

152. EXCUSE ME. MA'AM? SIR? SIR? SIR?

153. SIR? SIR? SIR? EXCUSE ME. M-MA'AM?

154. SIR? EXCUSE ME. M-MA'AM? CAN YOU HELP ME PLEASE FOR A

155. EXCUSE ME. M-MA'AM? CAN YOU HELP ME PLEASE FOR A SECOND?

156. CAN YOU HELP ME PLEASE FOR A SECOND? I'M SORRY. MISS?

157. SECOND? I'M SORRY. MISS? UH-HUH?

158. I'M SORRY. MISS? UH-HUH? HI. HAVE YOU SEEN MY DOG?

159. UH-HUH? HI. HAVE YOU SEEN MY DOG? UH-HUH.

160. HI. HAVE YOU SEEN MY DOG? UH-HUH. DESCRIBE HIM TO ME!

161. UH-HUH. DESCRIBE HIM TO ME! [ Slowed-down ] DESCRIBE HIM TO

162. DESCRIBE HIM TO ME! [ Slowed-down ] DESCRIBE HIM TO ME!

163. [ Slowed-down ] DESCRIBE HIM TO ME! [ Slowed-down ] AAH!

164. ME! [ Slowed-down ] AAH!

165. I'M GOING TO BUY A CAR TODAY. I'M LOOKING FOR HARRY. HARRY?

166. I'M LOOKING FOR HARRY. HARRY? HARRY!

167. HARRY? HARRY! THAT'S ME.

168. HARRY! THAT'S ME. I'M LOOKING TO BUY A FINE

169. THAT'S ME. I'M LOOKING TO BUY A FINE AUTOMOBILE FROM HIM.

170. DO YOU HAVE A FRIENDLY CAR OR ONE THAT TALKS? I'M READY TO BUY RIGHT NOW.

171. ONE THAT TALKS? I'M READY TO BUY RIGHT NOW. I WILL NOT BUY IF YOU WANT ME TO

172. I'M READY TO BUY RIGHT NOW. I WILL NOT BUY IF YOU WANT ME TO GET NAKED.

173. I WILL NOT BUY IF YOU WANT ME TO GET NAKED. I DON'T FEEL LIKE THAT'S

174. GET NAKED. I DON'T FEEL LIKE THAT'S APPROPRIATE.

175. I DON'T FEEL LIKE THAT'S APPROPRIATE. YOU WANT TO SEE MY GENITALS?

176. APPROPRIATE. YOU WANT TO SEE MY GENITALS? THAT'S NOT OKAY.

177. YOU WANT TO SEE MY GENITALS? THAT'S NOT OKAY. DO YOU HAVE ANY SKITTLES?

178. UH, ALL RIGHT! AND WE ARE BACK. MY NEXT GUEST — YOU'LL REMEMBER

179. AND WE ARE BACK. MY NEXT GUEST — YOU'LL REMEMBER HER FROM CLUB MTV.

180. MY NEXT GUEST — YOU'LL REMEMBER HER FROM CLUB MTV. PLEASE GIVE IT UP FOR

181. HER FROM CLUB MTV. PLEASE GIVE IT UP FOR DOWNTOWN JULIE BROWN!

182. PLEASE GIVE IT UP FOR DOWNTOWN JULIE BROWN!

183. [ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING ] UNH, UNH, UNH.

184. HAVE A SEAT. YOU LOOK FANTASTIC. THANK YOU.

185. YOU LOOK FANTASTIC. THANK YOU. I WANT TO GO ON VACATION.

186. THANK YOU. I WANT TO GO ON VACATION. WHERE SHOULD I GO?

187. I WANT TO GO ON VACATION. WHERE SHOULD I GO? I WOULD GO TO WALES IF I WAS

188. WHERE SHOULD I GO? I WOULD GO TO WALES IF I WAS YOU.

189. I WOULD GO TO WALES IF I WAS YOU. WHY'S THAT?

190. YOU. WHY'S THAT? THERE'S SO MUCH YOU COULD

191. WHY'S THAT? THERE'S SO MUCH YOU COULD MAKE FUN OF.

192. THERE'S SO MUCH YOU COULD MAKE FUN OF. MM-HMM. LIKE WHAT?

193. MAKE FUN OF. MM-HMM. LIKE WHAT? THE WEATHER.

194. MM-HMM. LIKE WHAT? THE WEATHER. WHAT ABOUT THE WEATHER THERE?

195. THE WEATHER. WHAT ABOUT THE WEATHER THERE? IT JUST RAINS ALL THE TIME.

196. WHAT ABOUT THE WEATHER THERE? IT JUST RAINS ALL THE TIME. OH, YEAH, THAT'S HILARIOUS.

197. IT JUST RAINS ALL THE TIME. OH, YEAH, THAT'S HILARIOUS. [ LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE ]

198. OH, YEAH, THAT'S HILARIOUS. [ LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE ] CORN-BEEF ME!

199. CORN-BEEF ME! OH!

200. OH!

201. OH! YOU OKAY?

202. YOU OKAY? YEAH, I'M FINE.

203. YOU OKAY? YEAH, I'M FINE. AH.

204. YEAH, I'M FINE. AH.

205. AH. DO YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?

206. DO YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND? I'VE NEVER EVEN HUGGED A

207. DO YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND? I'VE NEVER EVEN HUGGED A GIRL.

208. I'VE NEVER EVEN HUGGED A GIRL. [ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ]

209. GIRL. [ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ] WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THESE

210. [ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ] WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THESE MOVES?

211. LET ME JUST GET COMFORTABLE AGAIN. SURE. GET COMFORTABLE.

212. AGAIN. SURE. GET COMFORTABLE. I GET IT.

213. SURE. GET COMFORTABLE. I GET IT. WHAT'S YOUR THOUGHTS ON

214. I GET IT. WHAT'S YOUR THOUGHTS ON ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT SUSHI PLACES?

215. WHAT'S YOUR THOUGHTS ON ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT SUSHI PLACES? 'CAUSE YOU DON'T FINISH THE

216. ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT SUSHI PLACES? 'CAUSE YOU DON'T FINISH THE SUSHI, THEY CHARGE YOU, WHICH I

217. 'CAUSE YOU DON'T FINISH THE SUSHI, THEY CHARGE YOU, WHICH I THINK — I DON'T THINK THAT'S

218. SUSHI, THEY CHARGE YOU, WHICH I THINK — I DON'T THINK THAT'S FAIR.

219. THINK — I DON'T THINK THAT'S FAIR.

220. FAIR. WHAT IF IT WAS DISGUSTING?

221. YOU EVER SEEN THE SHOW "HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER"?

222. YOU EVER SEEN THE SHOW "HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER"?

223. "HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER"?

224. OH, GOD, THAT SOUNDS AWFUL.

225. OH, GOD, THAT SOUNDS AWFUL. THAT SOUNDS TERRIBLE.

226. OH, GOD, THAT SOUNDS AWFUL. THAT SOUNDS TERRIBLE.

227. THAT SOUNDS TERRIBLE.

228. HEY, YOU WANT TO SEE SOMETHING

229. HEY, YOU WANT TO SEE SOMETHING COOL?

230. HEY, YOU WANT TO SEE SOMETHING COOL? I'D LOVE TO SEE SOMETHING

231. COOL? I'D LOVE TO SEE SOMETHING COOL.

232. I'D LOVE TO SEE SOMETHING COOL. I PROGRAMMED HANNIBAL TO BE

233. COOL. I PROGRAMMED HANNIBAL TO BE MY MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE.

234. I PROGRAMMED HANNIBAL TO BE MY MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE. WATCH THIS.

235. MY MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE. WATCH THIS. BLACK JACK.

236. WATCH THIS. BLACK JACK.

237. BLACK JACK.

238. COULD YOU DO A PROMO FOR THE SHOW REAL QUICK?

239. UGH! UGH! BAH! THOSE PRICES ARE TOO FANTASTIC

240. UGH! BAH! THOSE PRICES ARE TOO FANTASTIC TO BELIEVE.

241. THOSE PRICES ARE TOO FANTASTIC TO BELIEVE. HOW MUCH IS GOLD RIGHT NOW?

242. TO BELIEVE. HOW MUCH IS GOLD RIGHT NOW? I WANT TO PROVE A POINT TO THIS

243. HOW MUCH IS GOLD RIGHT NOW? I WANT TO PROVE A POINT TO THIS GUY ON MY BLUETOOTH.

244. UGH! YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. THAT'S FANTASTIC.

245. OH, YEAH. WELL, THEN BUY IT! I DON'T KNOW. I'M MULATTO.

246. WELL, THEN BUY IT! I DON'T KNOW. I'M MULATTO. MM-HMM.

247. I'M MULATTO. MM-HMM. UGH!

248. MM-HMM. UGH! UGH!

249. UGH! UGH!

250. THERE NEEDS TO BE SOME NEW METAPHORS, LIKE "THE TUBE IS ON THE DOOR."

251. METAPHORS, LIKE "THE TUBE IS ON THE DOOR." UH...

252. ON THE DOOR." UH... THAT COULD MEAN, YOU KNOW,

253. UH... THAT COULD MEAN, YOU KNOW, YOU GOT TO WAKE UP.

254. SO... SO... PEE-PEE...

255. SO... PEE-PEE... PEE-PEE...

256. PEE-PEE... PEE-PEE... IS...

257. PEE-PEE... IS... IS...

258. IS... IS... HURTING ME...

259. IS... HURTING ME... HURTING ME...

260. HURTING ME... HURTING ME... WHEN I...

261. HURTING ME... WHEN I... WHEN I...

262. WHEN I... WHEN I... SMELL-A DA COFFEE.

263. WHEN I... SMELL-A DA COFFEE. SMELL-A DA COFFEE.

264. SMELL-A DA COFFEE. SMELL-A DA COFFEE. WAIT.

265. SMELL-A DA COFFEE. WAIT. WAIT.

266. WAIT. WAIT. SO YOU'RE PENIS IS

267. WAIT. SO YOU'RE PENIS IS HURTING WHEN YOU SMELL COFFEE?

268. BORI-I-I-I-I-I-NG! CHI-I-I-NA!

269. CHI-I-I-NA! WHA-A-T?

270. HEY, YOU CHEATING ON ME, BIG BOY?

271. BOY?

272. HELL, NO, SHORTY. YOU KNOW YOU GET MY ALL SWOLE.

273. YOU KNOW YOU GET MY ALL SWOLE. EVEN WHEN IT DON'T WANT TO DO

274. ALL SWOLE. EVEN WHEN IT DON'T WANT TO DO NOTHING, YOU BE GETTING MY

275. EVEN WHEN IT DON'T WANT TO DO NOTHING, YOU BE GETTING MY SWOLE.

276. NOTHING, YOU BE GETTING MY SWOLE. IT BE UNMOTIVATED, AND YOU

277. SWOLE. IT BE UNMOTIVATED, AND YOU MOTIVATE IT.

278. IT BE UNMOTIVATED, AND YOU MOTIVATE IT. YOU ARE GODDAMN THE PAT SUMMITT

279. MOTIVATE IT. YOU ARE GODDAMN THE PAT SUMMITT OF MY DICK.

280. YOU ARE GODDAMN THE PAT SUMMITT OF MY DICK. COME OVER HERE, YOU BIG-TITTED

281. OF MY DICK. COME OVER HERE, YOU BIG-TITTED MANIAC.

282. COME OVER HERE, YOU BIG-TITTED MANIAC. LET ME GET IT.

283. MANIAC. LET ME GET IT.

284. LET ME GET IT. MMM. YEAH.

285. MMM. YEAH.