The Eric Andre Show 1x8

Directed by

Huynh Quang as Jay-Z • Beverly Swanson as Beyoncé Knowles

Eric starts the show typing into a laptop (Sex and the City style), where pop-up images of Hannibal in drag causes him to wreck the set.

Request examples:

!req The Eric Andre Show 1x8 [02:32]
!req The Eric Andre Show 1x8 [The Eric Andre Show 1x8]
Syntax: !req EPISODE [quote or timestamp] (max. 8 square brackets)

For quotes, now you can request by index (e.g !req The Eric Andre Show 1x8 [10-11]; !req The Eric Andre Show 1x8 [20] [24]). Keep in mind, though, that index numbers might change at any time.
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Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. SOME SAY MANHATTAN IS SHAPED LIKE AN ISLAND. OTHER PEOPLE SAY IT IS AN

2. LIKE AN ISLAND. OTHER PEOPLE SAY IT IS AN ISLAND.

3. OTHER PEOPLE SAY IT IS AN ISLAND. SOME PEOPLE SAY IT'S LIKE A

4. ISLAND. SOME PEOPLE SAY IT'S LIKE A SLICE OF PIZZA.

5. SOME PEOPLE SAY IT'S LIKE A SLICE OF PIZZA. OTHER PEOPLE SAY IT'S NOT LIKE A

6. SLICE OF PIZZA. OTHER PEOPLE SAY IT'S NOT LIKE A SLICE OF PIZZA.

7. OTHER PEOPLE SAY IT'S NOT LIKE A SLICE OF PIZZA. BUT ONE THING IS FOR SURE — IT

8. SLICE OF PIZZA. BUT ONE THING IS FOR SURE — IT TAKES ALL KINDS TO MAKE A PIZZA

9. BUT ONE THING IS FOR SURE — IT TAKES ALL KINDS TO MAKE A PIZZA ISLAND.

10. TAKES ALL KINDS TO MAKE A PIZZA ISLAND. MMM.

11. ISLAND. MMM. WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO, MAN?

12. MMM. WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO, MAN?

13. WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO, MAN? AAAAH!

14. AAAAH! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

15. AAAAH! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, "THE ERIC ANDRE SHOW"!

16. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, "THE ERIC ANDRE SHOW"!

17. "THE ERIC ANDRE SHOW"!

18. OH, HI, GANG. YOU KNOW, A LOT OF PEOPLE OUT

19. OH, HI, GANG. YOU KNOW, A LOT OF PEOPLE OUT THERE ASK ME, "ERIC, WHAT'S IT

20. YOU KNOW, A LOT OF PEOPLE OUT THERE ASK ME, "ERIC, WHAT'S IT LIKE BEING ON TV, HAVING A TV

21. THERE ASK ME, "ERIC, WHAT'S IT LIKE BEING ON TV, HAVING A TV SHOW?"

22. LIKE BEING ON TV, HAVING A TV SHOW?" AND I TELL THEM...

23. SHOW?" AND I TELL THEM... ♪ HAVING A SHOW IS EASY

24. ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU DON'T CARE ♪ ♪ YOU CAN EAT A BUNCH OF GARBAGE, THEN DRAG YOUR NUTS

25. GARBAGE, THEN DRAG YOUR NUTS THROUGH HANNIBAL'S HAIR WHILE HE'S SLEEPING, SLEEPING,

26. WHILE HE'S SLEEPING, SLEEPING, SLEEPING ♪ Good night.

27. SLEEPING ♪ Good night. WHACK.

28. LET'S DO SOME "E'RICKSHAWING."

29. WHO WAS THE FIRST PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES? GEORGE WASHINGTON.

30. OF THE UNITED STATES? GEORGE WASHINGTON. WHAT STATE IS NEW YORK CITY

31. GEORGE WASHINGTON. WHAT STATE IS NEW YORK CITY IN?

32. WHAT STATE IS NEW YORK CITY IN? WHAT STATE? NEW YORK.

33. IN? WHAT STATE? NEW YORK. ALL RIGHT.

34. WHAT STATE? NEW YORK. ALL RIGHT. WHAT DO YOU GUYS GOT TO SAY TO

35. ALL RIGHT. WHAT DO YOU GUYS GOT TO SAY TO OSAMA BIN LADEN?

36. WHAT DO YOU GUYS GOT TO SAY TO OSAMA BIN LADEN? BIN LADEN WAS A BADASS.

37. OSAMA BIN LADEN? BIN LADEN WAS A BADASS. BIN LADEN WAS A MAN THAT SMOKES

38. BIN LADEN WAS A BADASS. BIN LADEN WAS A MAN THAT SMOKES HIS GRASS.

39. BIN LADEN WAS A MAN THAT SMOKES HIS GRASS. BIN LADEN, YOU'LL BE IN OUR

40. HIS GRASS. BIN LADEN, YOU'LL BE IN OUR MEMORIES.

41. BIN LADEN, YOU'LL BE IN OUR MEMORIES. BIN LADEN, YOU'VE REALLY BEEN A

42. MEMORIES. BIN LADEN, YOU'VE REALLY BEEN A GOOD FRIEND TO ME.

43. BIN LADEN, YOU'VE REALLY BEEN A GOOD FRIEND TO ME. THAT GUY KILLED IT!

44. GOOD FRIEND TO ME. THAT GUY KILLED IT! WHAT DO YOU THINK OF

45. THAT GUY KILLED IT! WHAT DO YOU THINK OF "THE ERIC ANDRE SHOW?"

46. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF "THE ERIC ANDRE SHOW?" I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO THAT

47. "THE ERIC ANDRE SHOW?" I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO THAT IS.

48. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO THAT IS. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF

49. IS. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF OSAMA BIN LADEN?

50. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF OSAMA BIN LADEN? HE ROCKS.

51. OSAMA BIN LADEN? HE ROCKS. HE DOES ROCK.

52. HE ROCKS. HE DOES ROCK. ALL RIGHT. THANKS SO MUCH.

53. HE DOES ROCK. ALL RIGHT. THANKS SO MUCH.

54. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, HIP-HOP POWER COUPLE, BEYONCé AND JAY-Z!

55. YOU BETTER MOVE. ALL RIGHT. WHAT UP?

56. ALL RIGHT. WHAT UP? YOU GUYS JUST HAD A BABY.

57. WHAT UP? YOU GUYS JUST HAD A BABY. THAT'S RIGHT.

58. YOU GUYS JUST HAD A BABY. THAT'S RIGHT.

59. THAT'S RIGHT. HOVA!

60. HOVA! WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY?

61. HOVA! WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY? WHAT MAKES YOU SAD?

62. WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY? WHAT MAKES YOU SAD? WHAT MAKES YOU SCARED?

63. WHAT MAKES YOU SAD? WHAT MAKES YOU SCARED? WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY IS —

64. WHAT MAKES YOU SCARED? WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY IS — MM — BEING IN LOVE.

65. WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY IS — MM — BEING IN LOVE. AND — AND SHOPPING.

66. MM — BEING IN LOVE. AND — AND SHOPPING.

67. AND — AND SHOPPING.

68. MM.

69. MM.

70. MM. I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU, HONEY.

71. I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU, HONEY.

72. I DON'T WANT TO LOSE YOU, HONEY.

73. I WANT YOU TO STAY CLEAN AND

74. I WANT YOU TO STAY CLEAN AND SOBER... FOR US.

75. I WANT YOU TO STAY CLEAN AND SOBER... FOR US. LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT A CLIP

76. SOBER... FOR US. LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT A CLIP FROM YOUR NEW MUSIC VIDEO!

77. LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT A CLIP FROM YOUR NEW MUSIC VIDEO! THE ROCK IS IN THE BUILDING!

78. Y'ALL A REAL FIT AS A COUPLE. THAT'S WHAT'S UP.

79. Y'ALL A REAL FIT AS A COUPLE. THAT'S WHAT'S UP. HEY. THANK YOU, LORD.

80. THAT'S WHAT'S UP. HEY. THANK YOU, LORD. DON'T THANK THE LORD.

81. HEY. THANK YOU, LORD. DON'T THANK THE LORD. I GAVE Y'ALL A COMPLIMENT.

82. DON'T THANK THE LORD. I GAVE Y'ALL A COMPLIMENT. YOU THANK ME.

83. I GAVE Y'ALL A COMPLIMENT. YOU THANK ME.

84. YOU THANK ME. WHEN'S YOUR NEXT CD COMING

85. WHEN'S YOUR NEXT CD COMING OUT?

86. WHEN'S YOUR NEXT CD COMING OUT? WHY? WHY?

87. OUT? WHY? WHY? I'M ASKING A QUESTION.

88. WHY? WHY? I'M ASKING A QUESTION.

89. I'M ASKING A QUESTION. WHAT DID I DO?

90. WHAT DID I DO?

91. WHAT DID I DO?

92. YEAH, JUST —

93. YEAH, JUST —

94. YEAH, JUST —

95. LITTLE HELP. LITTLE HELP, PLEASE? LITTLE HELP. ANY HELP.

96. LITTLE HELP, PLEASE? LITTLE HELP. ANY HELP. EXCUSE ME, SIR.

97. LITTLE HELP. ANY HELP. EXCUSE ME, SIR. DO YOU HAVE ANY MONEY?

98. OKAY.

99. UNBELIEVABLE. AS WE ALL KNOW, VALENTINE'S DAY IS MONTHS AWAY!

100. AS WE ALL KNOW, VALENTINE'S DAY IS MONTHS AWAY! AND, FELLAS, I KNOW YOU WANT TO

101. IS MONTHS AWAY! AND, FELLAS, I KNOW YOU WANT TO COOK SOMETHING NICE FOR YOUR

102. AND, FELLAS, I KNOW YOU WANT TO COOK SOMETHING NICE FOR YOUR LADY.

103. COOK SOMETHING NICE FOR YOUR LADY. SO LET'S TAKE A TRIP TO

104. LADY. SO LET'S TAKE A TRIP TO HANNIBAL'S KITCHEN WHERE

105. SO LET'S TAKE A TRIP TO HANNIBAL'S KITCHEN WHERE HANNIBAL WILL TEACH US HOW TO

106. HANNIBAL'S KITCHEN WHERE HANNIBAL WILL TEACH US HOW TO MAKE SOME OF HIS WORLD-FAMOUS

107. HANNIBAL WILL TEACH US HOW TO MAKE SOME OF HIS WORLD-FAMOUS DIM SUM THAT'LL DEFINITELY GET

108. MAKE SOME OF HIS WORLD-FAMOUS DIM SUM THAT'LL DEFINITELY GET YOUR LADY IN THE MOOD.

109. DIM SUM THAT'LL DEFINITELY GET YOUR LADY IN THE MOOD. WHERE'S HANNIBAL?

110. HANNIBAL? HANNIBAL? HE'S GONE!

111. HANNIBAL? HE'S GONE!

112. HE'S GONE! WHY?

113. WHY?

114. WE OUT OF TOILET PAPER, YO. HANNIBAL? IS THAT YOU?

115. I'M GONNA MEET MY FUTURE WIFE TONIGHT! HEY, YOU'RE REALLY BEAUTIFUL

116. TONIGHT! HEY, YOU'RE REALLY BEAUTIFUL EXCEPT FOR YOUR MAN HANDS.

117. HEY, YOU'RE REALLY BEAUTIFUL EXCEPT FOR YOUR MAN HANDS. WHAT?

118. EXCEPT FOR YOUR MAN HANDS. WHAT? CAN I HAVE YOUR PHONE NUMBER?

119. WHAT? CAN I HAVE YOUR PHONE NUMBER? THAT WAS AMAZING.

120. CAN I HAVE YOUR PHONE NUMBER? THAT WAS AMAZING. YOU SHOULD TRY THAT LINE MORE

121. THAT WAS AMAZING. YOU SHOULD TRY THAT LINE MORE OFTEN.

122. YOU SHOULD TRY THAT LINE MORE OFTEN.

123. OFTEN. HEY. YOU LOOK STUNNINGLY

124. HEY. YOU LOOK STUNNINGLY BEAUTIFUL.

125. HEY. YOU LOOK STUNNINGLY BEAUTIFUL. THANK YOU.

126. BEAUTIFUL. THANK YOU. YOU LOOK LIKE A GIRL THAT,

127. THANK YOU. YOU LOOK LIKE A GIRL THAT, LIKE, REALLY ENJOYS DORITOS.

128. YOU LOOK LIKE A GIRL THAT, LIKE, REALLY ENJOYS DORITOS. UH...

129. LIKE, REALLY ENJOYS DORITOS. UH... WHAT THE

130. UH... WHAT THE YOU'RE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL

131. WHAT THE YOU'RE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE.

132. YOU'RE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE. OH, WHY THANK YOU.

133. WOMAN I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE. OH, WHY THANK YOU. OFF.

134. OH, WHY THANK YOU. OFF. CAN I GET YOUR PHONE NUMBER?

135. OFF. CAN I GET YOUR PHONE NUMBER? ALL RIGHT.

136. CAN I GET YOUR PHONE NUMBER? ALL RIGHT. YOU TALKING TO ME?

137. ALL RIGHT. YOU TALKING TO ME? YEAH.

138. YOU TALKING TO ME? YEAH. I'M SORRY.

139. YEAH. I'M SORRY. HERE'S A CHINESE FINGER TRAP.

140. I'M SORRY. HERE'S A CHINESE FINGER TRAP. YOU HAVE PURPLE FINGERNAILS.

141. HERE'S A CHINESE FINGER TRAP. YOU HAVE PURPLE FINGERNAILS. AM I SUPPOSED TO TAKE YOU

142. YOU HAVE PURPLE FINGERNAILS. AM I SUPPOSED TO TAKE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?

143. AM I SUPPOSED TO TAKE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW? YEAH. ABSOLUTELY.

144. SERIOUS RIGHT NOW? YEAH. ABSOLUTELY. JUST TAKE THIS.

145. YEAH. ABSOLUTELY. JUST TAKE THIS. AND TAKE MY PHONE NUMBER.

146. JUST TAKE THIS. AND TAKE MY PHONE NUMBER. TAKE YOUR PHONE NUMBER?

147. AND TAKE MY PHONE NUMBER. TAKE YOUR PHONE NUMBER? YEAH.

148. TAKE YOUR PHONE NUMBER? YEAH.

149. YEAH. AND TAKE THIS.

150. AND TAKE THIS. TAKE THESE MARBLES.

151. AND TAKE THIS. TAKE THESE MARBLES. CAN I HAVE YOUR PHONE

152. TAKE THESE MARBLES. CAN I HAVE YOUR PHONE NUMBER?

153. CAN I HAVE YOUR PHONE NUMBER? TAKE THESE MARBLES.

154. NUMBER? TAKE THESE MARBLES. TAKE THESE MARBLES.

155. TAKE THESE MARBLES. TAKE THESE MARBLES. THANK YOU.

156. TAKE THESE MARBLES. THANK YOU. PISS OFF!

157. THANK YOU. PISS OFF! WHAT ARE YOU DOING SATURDAY?

158. PLEASE WELCOME EVANGELOS!

159. WALKING WITH YOU, HAND IN HAND AT THE DAWN, LIFE SEEMS SO EASY WITH YOU TO HOLD ON.

160. HAND AT THE DAWN, LIFE SEEMS SO EASY WITH YOU TO HOLD ON. WITH, UH... LINE?

161. EASY WITH YOU TO HOLD ON. WITH, UH... LINE? I'M SORRY.

162. WITH, UH... LINE? I'M SORRY.

163. I'M SORRY. ♪ WALKING WITH YOU, HAND IN

164. ♪ WALKING WITH YOU, HAND IN HAND, LIFE SEEMS SO EASY WITH

165. HAND, LIFE SEEMS SO EASY WITH YOU... ♪

166. YOU... ♪

167. I'M ALL FLUSTERED NOW.

168. I'M ALL FLUSTERED NOW. UH...

169. I'M ALL FLUSTERED NOW. UH...

170. UH... UH...

171. UH... YOU AND I BELIEVE IN LOVE?

172. UH... YOU AND I BELIEVE IN LOVE? HOW ABOUT THAT?

173. YOU AND I BELIEVE IN LOVE? HOW ABOUT THAT? "YOU AND I BELIEVE IT LOVE."

174. HOW ABOUT THAT? "YOU AND I BELIEVE IT LOVE."

175. "YOU AND I BELIEVE IT LOVE." "YOUR LOVE NEVER DIES."

176. "YOUR LOVE NEVER DIES." THIS IS WHY I LOVE YOU...

177. "YOUR LOVE NEVER DIES." THIS IS WHY I LOVE YOU... OKAY.

178. THIS IS WHY I LOVE YOU... OKAY. YOU AND I BELIEVE IN LULLABIES,

179. OKAY. YOU AND I BELIEVE IN LULLABIES, THIS IS WHY OUR LOVE KEEPS

180. YOU AND I BELIEVE IN LULLABIES, THIS IS WHY OUR LOVE KEEPS GROWING STRONG.

181. THIS IS WHY OUR LOVE KEEPS GROWING STRONG. YOU AND LIE — YOU AND I

182. GROWING STRONG. YOU AND LIE — YOU AND I BELIEVE LOVE — LOVE NEVER DIES.

183. YOU AND LIE — YOU AND I BELIEVE LOVE — LOVE NEVER DIES. THIS IS WHY OUR LOVE KEEPS

184. BELIEVE LOVE — LOVE NEVER DIES. THIS IS WHY OUR LOVE KEEPS GROWING STRONG.

185. THIS IS WHY OUR LOVE KEEPS GROWING STRONG.

186. GROWING STRONG. EXCELLENT.

187. EXCELLENT. HEY, BUDDY BOY!

188. EXCELLENT. HEY, BUDDY BOY! HOW YOU DOING, MAN?

189. HEY, BUDDY BOY! HOW YOU DOING, MAN? GOOD TO SEE YOU.

190. HOW YOU DOING, MAN? GOOD TO SEE YOU. WHAT'S HAPPENING?

191. EVANGELOS.

192. WELL, THANK YOU SO MUCH. THAT'S BEEN EVANGELOS! THANK YOU!

193. EXCUSE ME, DUDE. HEY, UM, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT "THE ERIC ANDRE SHOW?"

194. HEY, UM, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT "THE ERIC ANDRE SHOW?" WHAT THE HELL?

195. "THE ERIC ANDRE SHOW?" WHAT THE HELL? WHAT COULD YOU SAY TO IMPROVE

196. WHAT THE HELL? WHAT COULD YOU SAY TO IMPROVE "THE ERIC ANDRE SHOW?"

197. WHAT COULD YOU SAY TO IMPROVE "THE ERIC ANDRE SHOW?" LEAVE IT ALONE.

198. "THE ERIC ANDRE SHOW?" LEAVE IT ALONE. RIGHT. ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU.

199. LEAVE IT ALONE. RIGHT. ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE

200. RIGHT. ALL RIGHT, THANK YOU. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE WELCOME OUR NEXT GUEST, STAR OF

201. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE WELCOME OUR NEXT GUEST, STAR OF "EDEN'S WORLD," 7-YEAR-OLD

202. WELCOME OUR NEXT GUEST, STAR OF "EDEN'S WORLD," 7-YEAR-OLD EDEN WOOD!

203. "EDEN'S WORLD," 7-YEAR-OLD EDEN WOOD!

204. EDEN WOOD!

205. ♪ MAMA ALWAYS SAYS TO ME I'M

206. OLD PLANE, ACROSS THE MILES, PEOPLE KNOW MY NAME ♪ ♪ WHEN THE SHOW'S DONE, MY

207. QUEEN ♪ ♪ COUNTRY QUEEN, COUNTRY QUEEN ♪ ♪ TRAVELIN' THE WORLD, LIVIN'

208. THE DREAM ♪ ♪ COUNTRY QUEEN, COUNTRY QUEEN ♪ ♪ MY JOHN DEERE'S PINK AND MY

209. THE DREAM ♪ ♪ COUNTRY QUEEN, COUNTRY QUEEN ♪ AAAAAAAAH.

210. AAAAAAAAH. I'M A COUNTRY QUEEN!

211. I'M A COUNTRY QUEEN! I SALUTE YOU.

212. I SALUTE YOU.

213. EVANGELOS.