The Eric Andre Show 1x6

Directed by

Sinbad as Self • Sun Jae Kim as The Incredible Hulk • Wilson Ugwu as Jerry Seinfeld • Josh Fadem as Savion Glover

Hannibal performs the opening monologue in Eric's temporary absence.

Request examples:

!req The Eric Andre Show 1x6 [02:32]
!req The Eric Andre Show 1x6 [The Eric Andre Show 1x6]
Syntax: !req EPISODE [quote or timestamp] (max. 8 square brackets)

For quotes, now you can request by index (e.g !req The Eric Andre Show 1x6 [10-11]; !req The Eric Andre Show 1x6 [20] [24]). Keep in mind, though, that index numbers might change at any time.
You can also generate a copy command with the quotes. Hover the desired subtitle and enter the amount of lines you want to copy.

Subtitle languages: English • Spanish • Brazilian Portuguese

Note: you must use specific languages with their specific pages/discord channels.

1. Ladies and gentlemen, "the Eric Andre show"!

2. Ha!

3. Woody Allen is in the news, huh?

4. Well, he's not, but I think his

5. whole existence is weird.

6. "Midnight in Paris"... good.

7. Um, marrying your

8. stepdaughter... bad.

9. Are we just cool with that?

10. We're cool with what he's living

11. with?

12. I'm not. Boom!

13. Really topical humor.

14. Oh, man.

15. I was jogging down the street...

16. no, I wasn't jogging, 'cause I

17. don't work out.

18. I'd rather just let the calories

19. do what they want to do.

20. Man, we are killing it!

21. Nah, man.

22. I'm killing it.

23. Tomato, to-mah-to.

24. Lettuce, onions, pickles,

25. ketchup, mayonnaise, mustard.

26. Ladies and gentlemen, my next

27. guest... Sinbad!

28. Yay. Ah-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h... Don't be shy. Don't be shy.

29. Come on out.

30. What's happening, man?

31. [ Laughs ] Sinbad!

32. Assalamu alaikum. Alaikum salam. All right. Right on.

33. Hey. What's up?

34. You gonna stand there the whole

35. time?

36. Yeah.

37. Sinbad.

38. Any public apologies you'd like

39. to make real quick up at the

40. top?

41. Um, anybody I've hurt in my

42. life.

43. Yeah.

44. I shot a woman once.

45. Damn.

46. It was a club in Denver.

47. You ever been on acid?

48. Then you know what i'm

49. talking about.

50. I'm on it right now.

51. There you go.

52. What's the worst stand-up gig

53. of all time?

54. I did... I think it was a

55. wedding... oh, I did a wedding.

56. They wouldn't let me have a

57. place to stay, so I had just

58. enough money to stay in this

59. little hole-in-the-wall place.

60. I didn't realize... there was a

61. pimp.

62. He said, "I'll tell you what.

63. I'll pay for your room, but you

64. can't be here during the day,

65. 'cause the girls are gonna use

66. your room."

67. Wait. The pimp hooked it up?

68. Pimp hooked me up.

69. And he came to my show.

70. You, of course, either took

71. the sheets off or slept on the

72. floor, right?

73. Must have been stinky-ass

74. sheets.

75. That room gonna be jizzed

76. out, man.

77. That room gonna be real jizzed

78. out.

79. The room had to be jizzed

80. What was Sinbad's sleeping

81. situation?

82. No.

83. It had to be.

84. Did he just bring his own

85. sheets or did he sleep on the

86. floor?

87. You got to worry about the

88. jizz.

89. You got to worry about bedbugs.

90. No, it wasn't... they would

91. clean it, the maids.

92. Oh, it's time for the wheel

93. of prizes!

94. All right!

95. Yeah.

96. Yeah!

97. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

98. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

99. All right.

100. Here we go!

101. Ah-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h...

102. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

103. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

104. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

105. Yeah!

106. Ohh! Ohh!

107. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

108. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

109. Yeah! Yes! Yes!

110. Yes!

111. Come on. Come on.

112. Come o... yeah!

113. Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

114. I'll just move to

115. North Korea.

116. I'll just move.

117. I'll just move to North Korea.

118. Okay?

119. Okay.

120. Okay. Okay.

121. I'll just move to

122. North Korea.

123. Ah. Perfect.

124. Hey, what are you doing?

125. What are you doing?

126. Aah!

127. Get down on the floor!

128. Get down on the floor!

129. I'm not going to jail twice for

130. two bits.

131. Talk to the [bleep] security

132. guard and talk to the cops.

133. Ladies and gentlemen, my next

134. guest... the hulk!

135. You ever been in love before? Yeah, I've been in love. You know, I've been in love.

136. I've been in love.

137. I mean, that's what...

138. Yeah.

139. When did you lose your

140. virginity?

141. When I was, uh, 22.

142. Yeah? What was it like?

143. It was pretty cool, you know?

144. She, uh...

145. Went to Amsterdam.

146. I actually went to Amsterdam.

147. You lost your virginity to a

148. prostitute?

149. Yes, I did.

150. You're asking some dope

151. questions, man.

152. And she gave you a blow job

153. with a condom on?

154. Yes.

155. Yeah, I've been there.

156. I have been there before.

157. Describe... describe the event.

158. Some fun times. Fun times.

159. You can get graphic.

160. This is after hours.

161. Oh, after hours.

162. Well, I mean, I just...

163. Well, I mean, uh...

164. She first took off her clothes,

165. and then...

166. She put, like, the condom on

167. and, uh, she, uh, you know, she

168. went ahead and... Did she...

169. what... did, uh... What, you

170. know, she was paid to do, you

171. know?

172. She was paid to do, uh...

173. Which is?

174. A good job of, uh...

175. Sex?

176. The hulk, everybody!

177. A long time ago!

178. In a galaxy far, far away!

179. Darth Vader captures

180. Princess Leia and has stolen

181. plans for the death star!

182. You know what I'm talking about,

183. yellow hoodie?

184. You specifically!

185. He accidentally triggers a

186. message from the Princess Leia!

187. You're a robot!

188. You know what I'm saying!

189. Specific...

190. Specifically!

191. I'm talking a little bit of

192. Boba Fett!

193. Ben Kenobi allowed himself to be

194. killed!

195. Can you imagine that?

196. We all know tha-a-a-a-a-a-a-a...

197. a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-t!

198. Ladies and gentlemen, this next

199. guest was not easy to get.

200. Living legend, comedy icon...

201. Mr. Jerry Seinfeld, everybody!

202. Jerry Seinfeld.

203. Jerry Seinfeld. Jerry Seinfeld.

204. Man, I'll tell you something, man. The airplane, man, it's all

205. Man, I paid $5,000 to fly from

206. New York to Los Angeles, man.

207. All I got for it is peanuts and

208. p-pizza, man!

209. [Bleep] That [bleep]

210. Man, I'm pissed off, man.

211. They clashed my ass, man.

212. My ass!

213. [Bleep] It, man.

214. I'm pissed off.

215. Man, I'm going back to New York,

216. man.

217. Dudes, I'm so pissed, I can't

218. even talk right now.

219. [ Spaghetti-western music

220. [plays ]

221. Hey. What do you think of the show? Mm, okay.

222. What do you think of Eric Andre?

223. I guess he likes boys rather

224. than girls.

225. Yeah.

226. Well, hey, to each his own.

227. I guess so.

228. Can I get a little kiss?

229. Okay.

230. Mwah!

231. Mwah.

232. Ladies and gentlemen, please

233. welcome tap-dancing sensation

234. Savion Glover!

235. Russell brand here. As I was saying...

236. Don't let your computer just sleep. Unplug it.